Drink and welcome: OR THE FAMOUS HISTORY of the most part of Drinks▪ in use now in the Kingdoms of Great Britain and Ireland; with an especial declaration of the potency, virtue, and operation of our English ALE. With a description of all sorts of Waters, from the Ocean sea, to the tears of a Woman. As also, The causes of all sorts of weather, fair or soul, Sleet, Raine, Hail, Frost, Snow, Fogs, Mists, Vapours, Clouds, Storms, Winds, Thunder and Lightning. Compiled first in the high Dutch tongue, by the painful and industrious Huldrick Van Speagle, a Grammatical Brewer of Lubeck, and now most Learnedly enlarged, amplified, and Translated into English Prose and Verse. By JOHN TAYLOR. LONDON, Printed by ANNE GRIFFIN. 1637. THE FAMOUS HISTORY of the most part of Drinks, in use now in the Kingdoms of Great Britain and Ireland; with an especial declaration of the potency, virtue, and operation of our English ALE. Compiled first in the high Dutch tongue, by the painful and industrious Huldricke Van Speagle, a Gramaticall Brewer of Lubeck, and now most Learnedly enlarged, amplified, and Translated into English. By JOHN TAYLOR. I Huldrick Van Speagle, do ingeniously confess my boldness, and crave pardon of the Britain's and Irish Nation; for that I (being a stranger) have presumed to write of such Drinks as are Potable in their Climates and Countries; with such particularities of their Originals and virtues, as I have by experience and practise, with my collections out of diverse learned Authors gathered. I purpose not to insist in a methodical way, but according to my quality in a plain and brief Relation. It is not unknown to men of any reading, that this Island which hath now regaind its ancient name of Great Britain, was by Brute inhabited by the remainders of some scattered and dispersed Trojans: the drinks they used in their best and worst of fortunes after their plantation here, are observed to be these; Cider, Perry, Metheglin, Mead, Bragget, Pomperkin, and chiefly, though lastly, Ale, with its appendix Beer. Of which in order. Cider. Cider (whose Anagram is Desyr) desires and deserves the first place, as being the most ancient: it is made of Apples, and is of that antiquity, that it is thought by some to have been invented and made by Eve, and afterwards practised by Cain, who by the making of it in the time of his vagrancy, got a very competent estate. Certainly it was a most frequent and usual drink amongst the Trojans, and was with the remainder of that Nation, first brought into this Island: It is called Cider a Sydera, (as the Dictionary tells me) of the Stars, whose influence in those Heathenish times was much invoked in the composure of that most excellent liquor, whereof my native Country of the County of Glocestershire most plentifully flows; It doth much refrigerate and qualify the inward heat of man, it is also very purgative, and cleanseth the small guts of all viscous humours, and is much meliorated by the addition of Sugar, in which way being taken the poorest cottage in Wales that affords it, outvies the Sollyard, and the men of that Country may without blushing (their ordinary virtue) parallel it with the glory of the Rhine. Perry. PErry is more Aromatic, being made of Pears, from whence it seems to have its Appellation: there is much disagreement amongst ancient and modern Writers about the antiquity, original, and derivation of the name of it; Gorbonus the Lacedaemonian sales, it was first made in Syria by one Pericles. Trappoza (a most learned Theban) ascribes it to one Periander: Nimpsbagg will have it from Persepolis a City in Persia: but some Britain's will, that desire to vindicate the Antiquity of times, of one Parry, a Nephew to Cadwallader the great, the last King of the Britain's, who was most ●●●ious in the composure of liquids of this nature. Others would seem to derive it from Perrue in America, who in regard of the luxuriant soil, and salubrious air abounded wonderfully with Pears; alleging that Mangotapon one of the seven that hid themselves in a cave, called Particumbo, at that great deluge of the world, was at his coming forth (for he lived to come forth) the first compounder of this drink, which in honour of his Country he then called Perrue. Amongst all these various opinions of foreign Authors, common experience tells us, that Worcestershire is our British Maggazin, or plentiful store-house for Perry; nor will I seek further to dispute the point, the drink being usual and equal with what hath been said before of Cider. It is very available in quenching of thirst, good against obstructions of the liver and spleen, and most effectual against contagious diseases, by the opinion of the British Doctors, to whose treatises I refer the learned for larger instructions. Metheglin and Mead. MEtheglin, and Mead in regard of the coherence of their conditions, I may very well handle them together, without any disparagement to either; how ever there be some proportion in their several compositions, yet the main Ingredient being Honey stands allowable to both. The common appellation of the first by the name of Matthew Glinn, (although it seem a Nicked name to the world) is generally received by the History of Monmoth, to be the Authors name of this Mellifluous mixture: for this Matthew dwelling in a Valley (for so the word Glinn imports Englished from the Welsh) being master of a very great stock of Bees, and wanting vent for the issue of their labours, in an abundant year betook himself wholly to his study, and being most ingenious in things of this nature, in a short time he profited so well, as out of his maternal or mother-wit, of himself he perfected this rare composure. This name being now ingeminated by the quotidian calls of his well disposed Countrymen, renders it vendible in the most municipal Towns of those parts, at the rates of six pence the quart, which is the most predominant price of any of our homebred liquors. Concerning the virtues of it, it is to be held in most extraordinary regard, for it is purgative in respect of the Mell (or Honey) and of singular efficacy against Tremor Cordis; indeed the overmuch taking of it is to a melancholic man in the nature of an Opiate, and therefore to be refused (if not taken with caution) by men of that constitution. Mead or Meath. FOr Meade or Meath (as some will have it) there are divers unwarrantable Authors that would wrest the original and derivation of the name from Medusa, the enchantress, some there are that the cruel Media was the inventor of it: but Padesh shellum Shagh, a learned Gimnosophist (whose opinion I most leave unto) in his ninth book of Hidromancy, faith, that it was a drink in use and potable by the Medes and Persians in the first erection of that Monarchy (from whence most significantly it hath the name) and that a British Lord, a favourite of a Sultan there, first brought it to these parts, the Receipt being freely bestowed upon him, for his especial service; in the belief of all which, I must crave pardon, that I am not guilty, but I rather think it as an abstract from the former, however it hath some several virtues, but in regard of the cheapness it is now grown contemptible, being altogether eclipsed by the virtue of Metheglin. Braggot. THe next to be handled is Braggot, a drink in my opinion, not much beholding to antiquity, although some extant writings of the Barley avouch the receipt for the making of it to be sent over from the Emperor of the East, to Liolin the great Prince of Wales. This drink is of a most hot nature, as being composed of Spices, and if it once scale the sconce, and enter within the circumclusion of the Perricranion, it doth much accelerate nature, by whose forcible attraction and operation, the drinker (by way of distribution) is easily enabled to afford blows to his brother; it is hot in the third degree, in which respect it is held medicinable, against all cold diseases of the Stomach. Pomperkin. THe sixth sort of British drinks is Pomperkin, a drink whose original was from Pomeranea (a Province in Germany) as some writers relate. Some derive it from the Pomponii (a Noble Roman family) however Authors differ about it, it is not much material; most certain it is that it is made of Apples, as the name of it imports; being nothing but the Apples bruised and beaten to mash, with water put to them, which is a drink of so weak a condition that it is no where acceptable but amongst the Rustics and plebeians, being a heartless liquor much of the nature of Swillons in Scotland, or small Beer in England, such as is said to be made of the washings of the Brewer's legs and aprors; and I do most yield to their opinions that the first Author of Pomperkin was Perkin Warbeck in the reign of Henry the seventh, who in his private retirements and jurking holes, had occasion to practise the thrifty making of this infusion. It is of an Hidropicall and Aquarian operation, the vigour of it doth seldom evaporate upward or ascend to the brain, and being it is likewise of a coroading condition, yet the British bodies being well antidoted with their compounded Cream, Whig, Whey, and Buttermilk; in their constitutions it becomes matter of nutriment. Ale. HAving gone thus far, it remains that I speak something of what hath been, and now is used by the English, as well since the Conquest, as in time of the Britain's, Saxons, and Danes, (for the former recited drinks, are to this day confined to the Principality) so as we enjoy them only by a statute called the courtesy of Wales. And to perfect my discourse in this I shall only induce them into two heads, viz. the unparaleld liquor called Ale, with his Abstract Beer; whose antiquity amongst a sort of Northern pated fellows is if not altogether contemptible, of very little esteem; this humour moved the scurrilous pen of a shameless writer in the reign of King Henry the third, detractingly to inveigh against this unequalled liquor. Thus For muddy, foggy, fulsome, puddle, stinking, For all of these, Ale is the only drinking. Of all Authors that I have ever yet read, this is the only one that hath attempted to brand the glorious splendour of that Ale-beloved decection; but observe this fellow, by the perpetual use of water (which was his accustomed drink) he fell into such convulsion and lethargic diseases, that he remained in opinion a dead man; however the knowing Physicians of that time, by the frequent and inward application of Ale, not only recovered him to his pristine estate of health, but also enabled him in body and brain for the future, that he became famous in his writings, which for the most part were afterwards spent with most Aleoquent and Alaborate commendation of that Admired and most superexcellent Imbrewage. Some there are that affirm that Ale was first invened by Alexander the Great, and that in his conquests this liquor did infuse much vigour and valour into his soldiers. Others say that famous Physician of Piedmont (named Don Alexis) was the founder of it. But it is known that it was of that singular use in the time of the Saxons that none were allowed to brew it but such whose places and qualities were most eminent: insomuch that we find that one of them had the credit to give the name of a Saxon Prince, who in honour of that rare quality, he called Alla. Some Allege that it being our drink when our Land was called Albion, that it had the name of the Country: Twiscus in his Euphorbium will have it from Albania, or Epirus, Wolfgang Plashendorph of Gustenburg, says that Allecto (one of the three furies) gave the receipt of it to Albumazer a Magician, and he (having Alliance with Aladine the Sultan at Aleppo) first brewed it there, whereto may be Aleuded, the story how Alphonsus of Sicily, sent it from thence to the battle of Alcazor. My Author is of Anaxagoras opinion, that Ale is to be held in high price for the nutritive substance that it is endued withal, and how precious a nurse it is in general to Mankind. It is true that the overmuch taking of it doth so much exhilerate the spirits, that a man is not improperly said to be in the Aletitude (observe the word I pray you, and all the words before or after) for you shall find their first syllable to be Ale, and some writers are of opinion that the Turkish Koran was invented by Mahomet out of such furious raptures as Ale inspired him withal; some affirm Bacchus (Alias Liber Pater) was the first Brewer of it, among the Indians, who being a stranger to them they named it Ale, as brought to them by an Alien; in a word, Somnus alt●● signifies dead sleep: Quies alta, Great rest; Altus and Alta noble and excellent: It is (for the most part) extracted out of the spirit of a Grain called Barley, which was of that estimation amongst the ancient Galls that their Prophets (whom they called Bardi) used it in their most important prophecies and ceremonies: This Grain, after it had been watered and dried, was at first ground in a Mill in the Island of Malta, from whence it is supposed to gain the name of Malt; but I take it more proper from the word Matteolus, which signifies a Hammer or Maule, for Hannibal (the great Carthaginian Captain) in his sixteen years' wars against the Romans, was called the Maule of Italy, for it is conjectured that he victoriously Mauld them by reason that his Army was daily refreshed with the spiritefull Elixir of Malt. It holds very significant to compare a man in the Aletitude to be in a planetary height; for in a Planet, the Altitude is his motion in which he is carried from the lowest place of Heaven or from the Centre of the Earth, into the most highest place, or unto the top of his Circle, and then it is said to be in Apogaeo, that is the most Transcendent point of all, so the Sublunary of a stupefied Spirit, being elevated by the efficacious vigour of this uncontroleable virtue, renders him most capable for high actions. I should be voluminous, if I should insist upon all pertinent and impertinent passages in the behalf of Ale, as also of the retentive fame that York, Chester, Hull, Nottingham, Derby, Gravesend, with a Toast, and other Countries still enjoy, by making this untainted liquor in the primitive way, and how Windsor doth more glory in that Composition than all the rest of her speculative pleasures, which is daily strengthened by the Agitive endeavours of the most pregnant spirits there, whose superlative issue affords us a quotidian expectation, and questionless cannot but succeed with general applause in regard of the undertakers; Also there is a Town near Margate in Kent, (in the Isle of Thanett) called Northdowne, which Town hath engrossed much Fame, Wealth, and Reputation from the prevalent potency of their Attractive Ale. I will only now speak somewhat of its virtues, and in the weakness of my expressions shall crave pardon, of those many and learned Doctors of our Time, whose daily and gustave Approbation adds to the glorious Splendour of that unequalled Element. Concerning the fructifying or fruitfulness of Ale, it is almost incredible, for twice every year there is a Fair at a small Town called Kimbollon, or Kimolton in North-hamptonshire, (as I take it) in which town there are but 38. houses, which at the Fair time are increased to 39 Alehouses, for an old woman and her daughter do on those days divide there one house into two, such is the operation and increasing power of our English Ale. First then, it is a singular remedy against all melancholic diseases, Tremor cordis, and Maladies of the spleen, it is purgative and of great operation against Iliaca passio, and all gripings of the small guts, it cures the stone in the Bladder, Reins or Kidneys, and provokes Urinal wonderfully, it mollifies Tumours and swellings in the body, and is very predominant in opening the obstructions of the Liver. It is most effectual for clearing of the sight, being applied outwardly, it assuageth the unsufferable pain of the Gout called Artichicha Podagra, or Gonogra, the Yeast or Barm being laid hot to the part pained, in which way it is easeful to all Impostumes or the pain in the Hip called Sciatica passio; Indeed the immoderate taking of it (as of the best things) is not commended, for in some it causes swimming in the head and Vertigo, (but I speak still of moderation) in which respect it is not only available for the causes aforesaid, but for all defluxions and Epidemical diseases whatsoever, and being Buttered (as our Gallenists well observe) it is good against all Contagious diseases, Fevers, Agues, Rheums, Coughs and Catarrhs with Hernia Aquosa & vertosa. I might proceed to nominate the Towns of the Kingdom that have their happiness to enjoy their names from Ale, Alesfoord, in Hampshire, and Alesbury (or Aylesbury) in Buckinghamshire, Where the making of Aleberries so excellent against Hectics was first invented. As also of many Surnames of great worth in this Kingdom, as these of Ale-iff, Aleworth, Good-ale, Penny-Ale, and in Scotland, the generous and ancient name of Lamsd-Ale, but not to insist further, in this strain, I make no question, but the Capacious apprehension of a free understanding will spare me that labour. I will therefore shut up all with that admirable conclusion insisted upon in our time by a discreet Gentleman in a solemn Assembly, who, by a politic observation, very aptly compares Ale and Cakes with Wine and Wafers, neither doth he hold it sit that it should stand in Competition with the meanest Wines, but with that most excellent Composition which the Prince of Physicians Hypocrates had so ingenuously compounded for the preservation of mankind, and which (to this day) speaks the Author by the name of Hippocras, so that you see of Antiquity, Ale was famous amongst the Troyans', Britons, Romans, Saxons, Danes, Normans, English men, Welch, beside in Scotland, from the highest and Noblest Palace to the poorest or meanest Cottage, Ale is universal, and for Virtue it stands allowable with the best receipts of the most Ancientest Physicians; and for its singular force in expulsion of poison is equal, if not exceeding that rate Antidote so seriously invented by the Pontic King, which from him (till this time) carries his name of Mitbridate. And lastly, not only approved by a National Assembly, but more exemplarily remonstrated by the frequent use of the most knowing Physicians, who for the wonderful force that it hath against all the diseases of the Lungs, Justly allow the name of a Pulmonist to every Alebrewer. The further I seek to go the more unable I find myself to express the wonders (for so I may very well call them) operated by Ale, for that I shall abruptly conclude, in consideration of mine own insufficiency, with the fag-end of an old man's old will, who gave a good sum of money to a Red-faced Ale-drinker, who played upon a Pipe and Tabor, which was this: To make your Pipe and Tabor keep their sound, And dye your Crimson tincture more profound, There grows no better medicine on the ground, Than Aleano (if it may be found) To buy which drug, I give a hundred pound. Ale is rightly called Nappy, for it will set a nap upon a man's thread bare eyes when he is sleepy. It is called Merry-goe-downe, for it slides down merrily; It is fragrant to the sent; It is most pleasing to the taste; The flowering and mantling of it (like Chequer work) with the Vendant smiling of it, is delightful to the sight, it is Touching or Feeling to the Brain and Heart; and (to please the senses all) it provokes men to singing and mirth, which is contenting to the Hearing. The speedy taking of it doth comfort a heavy and troubled mind; it will make a weeping widow laugh and forget sorrow for her deceased husband; It is truly termed the spirit of the Buttery (for it puts spirit into all it enters,) It makes the footman's Head and heels so light, that he seems to fly as he runs; It is the warmest lining of a naked man's Coat, (that's a Bull) It satiates and assuageth hunger and cold; with a Toast it is the poor man's comfort, the Shepherd, Mower, Ploughman, Labourer and Blacksmiths most esteemed purchase; It is the Tinker's treasure, the Pedlar's Jewel, the Beggar's Joy, and the Prisoners loving Nurse; it will whet the wit so sharp, that it will make a Catter talk of matters beyond his reach; It will set a Bashful suitor a wooing; It heats the i'll blood of the Aged; It will cause a man to speak past his own or any others man's capacity, or understanding; It sets an edge upon Logic and Rhetoric; It is a friend to the Muses; It inspires the poor Poet, that cannot compass the price of Canary or Gasenigne; It mounts the Musician 'bove Eela; It makes the Balladmaker Rhyme beyond Reason, It is a Repairer of a decayed Colour in the face; It puts Eloquence into the Orator; It will make the Philosopher talk profoundly, the Scholar learnedly, and the Lawyer Acute and feelingly, Ale at Whitsuntide, or a Whitsun Church Ale, is a Repairer of decayed Country Churches; It is a great friend to Truth, for they that drink of it (to the purpose) will reveal all they know, be it never so secret to be kept; It is an Emblem of Justice, for it allows and yields measure; It will put courage into a Coward, and make him swagger and fight; It is a seal to many a good Bargain. The Physician will commend it; the Lawyer will defend it, It neither hurts, or kills, any but those that abuse it unmeasurably and beyond bearing; It doth good to as many as take it rightly; It is as good as a pair of Spectacles to clear the eyesight of an old parish Clarke; and in Conclusion, it is such a nourisher of Mankind, that if my mouth were as big as Bishopsgate, my Pen as long as a Maypole, and my Ink a flowing spring, or a standing fishpond, yet I could not with Mouth, Pen, or Ink, speak or write the true worth and worthiness of Ale. Beer. NOw, to write of Beer, I shall not need to wet my pen much with the naming of it, It being a drink which Antiquity was an Aleien, or a mere stranger to, and as it hath scarcely any name, so hath it no habitation, for the places or houses where it is sold doth still retain the name of An Alehouse; but if it were a Beerhouse, (or so called) yet it must have an Inferior style of hous-roome than An Alehouse; for An is the name of many a good woman, and the name An cannot be properly given to a Beere-Brewer, or Beerhouse; for to say An Beer Brewer or An Beer house is ridiculous; but An Alebrewer or An Alehouse is good significant English; or to say An Beer brewer or An Beerhouse or (by your favour An Tavern) is but botching language in great Britain; but to say A Alebrewer or A Alehouse, is more improper than to bid a child A A in his Chair, when there is neither Chair or stool. This comparison needs a Sir Reverence to Usher it, but being Beer is but an Upstart and a foreigner or Alien, in respect of Ale, it may serve in stead of a better; Nor would it differ from Ale in any thing, but only that an Aspiring Amaritudinous Hop comes crawling lamely in, and makes a Bitter difference between them but if the Hop be so crippled that he cannot be gotten to make the odds, the place may poorly be supplied with chopped Broom (new gathered) whereby Beer hath never attained the sober Title of Ale, for it is proper to say A Stand of Ale, and a Hogs Head of Beer, which in common sense is but a swinish Phrase or Appellation. Indeed Beer, by a Mixture of Wine, it enjoys approbation amongst some few (that hardly understand wherefore) but then it is no longer Beer, but hath lost both Name and Nature, and is called Balderdash, (an Utopian denomination) and so like a petty Brook running into a great stream loses itself in his own current, the legs being washed with the weaker or smaller sort of it, is contemptuously called, Rotgut; and is thought by some to be very medicinable to cure the Scurvy. The stronger Beer is divided into two parts (viz.) wild and stale; the first may ease a man of a drought, but the later is like water cast into a Smith's forge, and breeds more heartburning, and as rust eats into Iron, so overstale Beer gnaws auletholes in the entrales, or else my skill fails, an what I have written of it is to be held as a jest. I have now performed my promise, yet cannot so cease, being much desirous to speak something of a foreign Element, which in some sort seems to obscure the glory of all the forenamed drinks; and is known to us by the name of Sack, which appellation was archieved by derivation from Donzago, a Spaniard of the Province of Andalowsia, who was the first discoverer of this Castilian Ellixar. But herein (as before) I shall but lose myself the subject being most excellently handled, tasted, and well relished both in verse and prose, especially in that late Illustration of Aristippus, in which respect only it is held fit that Cambridge should precede Oxford. Sack. SAck is no hippocrite, for any man that knows what an Anagram is, will confess that it is conta1ined within the literal letters and limits of its own name, which is (to say) a Cask. Sack then contains itself, (except it be drawn out) within its enclosed bounds, like Diogenes, in his Tun; yet Sack (overmuch drawn and excessively abused) hath drawn the abusers of it into many abuses and damages, for Tangrephilax, a learned Lybian Geographer of our time, affirms that it sums into the head, though it well pleases the palate, yet nevertheless that it helps the natural weakness of a cold stomach more than any other wine whatsoever. The old ancient Poets only write of Helicon, Tempe, Aganippe, the Pegasean fountain, the Thespian spring. The Muses well and abundance of other unknown rich invisible blessings; But our age approves that Sack is the best lining or living for a good Poet; and that it enables our modern writers, to versify most ingeniously, without much cud gelling their head-pieces (a thing very much used in the pumpers for wit) whereby they get some portion of credit, a great proportion of windy applause, but for money, etc. For mine own part, I do not, nor will drink any of it, which is the reason that my verses want vigour, but if I could but endure to wash my midrisle in Sack, as the most grave Musehunters Hexametrians, Pentametrians, Dactylians and Spondeians do; I should then reach with my Invention above the Altitude of the 39 sphere, and dive 50. fathom below the profundity of the deepest Barrathrum: The troth is, I have no reason to love Sack, for it made me twice a Rat in Woodstreet Counter-trap: besides where other wines have scarce strength to make me drunk (as I may take them) Sack hath the power to make me mad, which made me leave it. Yet for the virtues that are in mine enemy, I must and will give due commendations; therefore I will give a touch at some things which is praise worthy in this Iberian, Castilian, Canarian, Sherrian, Mallaganian, Robalonian, Robdanian, Peterseamian. Is any man oppressed with crudities in his stomach, so that it takes away all appetituall desire, insomuch that the sight of meat is a second sickness to him? let that man drink Sack, the cure follows beyond belief: Is any man Ingurgitated, so that he is in the condition of a strong surfeit? let that man drink Sack too; the remedy is sudden indeed to a point of wonder or admiration. Is any man so much out of the favour of Elous, that he is shortwinded, or that his voice or speech fails him, let him drink Sack, (as it may be taken) it shall make him capable to vent words and speak beyond measure: Doth any man (for the clearing of his stomach) desire a vomit? let him take a quantity of Sack, and by the operation of the same it shall be effected; So that we may justly say that Sack is a second nature to man, and that the Physicians well knew, when they confined it to the Apothecaies shops (which was not till near the end of King Henry the eights Reign, about the year 1543, and in King Edward the sixts first and second year 1548.) till which time none but the Apothecaries had the honour to fell Sack, and that was only for medicine, and for sick folks: but though now it be more dispersed into Great men's houses and Vintner's cellars, yet it hath obtained no absolute freedom to this day, for in the mansions or dwellings of many that keep the fairest houses, the Mannagement and tuition of Sack is to some lewd (ill natured, or nurtured) yeoman of the Winecellar, whereby it is too often adulterated, and also brought to such an astringency, brought to such points of mortification, that it is impossible it should ever be worthy to gain the approbation of a Wine-vinegar man, and it were heartily to be wished that this enormous abuse were punished by the virtue of a Dog-whip. A word or two for example, and I shall conclude: Lucius Piso that great General that conquered Thrace, was wonderfully given to the drinking of Sack, insomuch that he was oftentimes carried from the Senate house; and it was so far from being an impeachment to his honour, that nevertheless Augustus Caesar committed to him the charge, care, and trust of the most secret affairs of State, and never had any cause to be discontented with him: the like we read of Tiberius and Cassus; and as faithfully was the plot and purpose to kill Caesar, (in the Senate) committed unto Cimber (who drank nothing but Sack,) as unto Cassius who drank nothing but Water; and certain I am that the Persians, after their drinking of Sack, were wont to consult of their chiefest and most serious state-businesses: and Cyrus, (that so far and famous a renowned King) among his other high praises and commendations, meaning to prefer himself before his brother Artaxerxes, and get the start of him, allegeth the cause of his being victorious over him to be chiefly because he could drink more Sack than he. I commend not intemperance in all these allegations, the Reader may please to Remember my former test for moderation, and Sack, being so taken, will be to the moderate taker a comfort against cares and crosses, and so with juvenal's words in his foureteenth satire I shut up all; Thou shalt be from disease and weakness free, From moan, from care, long time of life to thee Shall by more friendly fate afforded by: Drink Sack therefore if you'll be ruled by me. Here followeth, a laborious and effectual discourse, in praise of the Element of all Waters fresh and salt, with their operation; with a touch of the causes of all sorts of weather, fair and foul. I That of Earth was made, yet no earth have, No not so much as may afford a grave: For when that death my lives thread shall untwine I have no burial in a ground that's mine: Of all the Elements, the Earth is worst; Because for Adam's sin it was accursed: Therefore no parcel of it will I buy But on the Water for relief rely. When as man's crying crimes in volleys flew To Heaven, and Heavens high vengeance downward drew: Then Water all the World did overrun, And plagued th' abuses that on Earth were done. From showers of Water, reigned from Skies to Earth, Spring, Sommer, Harvest, Winter have their birth. For Water is the Milk of Heaven, whereby All things are nursed, increase and multiply. The oldest and most grave Astronomers, The learned'st and most sage Philosophers Do hold, that in the highest Altitude A sphere of Water is, in Amplitude Envelloping all other Orbs and Spheres, With all the Planets swift and slow careares, Even as the Sea the Earth doth compass round, The Water so the Firmament doth bound. Should I of Water write, but what it is, I should be drowned in my Thames' Abyss: And therefore I'll but dabble, wade, and wash, And here and there both give, and take a dash. In blessed Records it truly is approved, That God's blessed Spirit upon the Waters moved: Then All things were involved in the Waters, All earthly, Airy, and all fiery matters: Until th' Almighty (whose works all are wonders) With saying (Let there be) the Chaos sunders. Of a confused lump, void of form and fashion, He spoke, and gave the world its fair creation. And as at first the Waters compassed all The Chaos, or world's universal Ball. So still, of all the works of God, most glorious The water was, is, and will be victorious. It doth surmount the Air, the fire it quenches With Inundations it the Earth bedrenches: The Fire may burn a house, perhaps a Town, But water can a Province spoil and drown: And Air may be corrupted, and from thence, A Kingdom may be plagued with pestilence: Where many die, old, young, some great, some small, But water floods plays sweepstake with them all. Earth may be barren, and not yield her store: Yet may she feed the rich, and starve the poor. But Earth in triumph over all never rid, As in the Deluge once the Waters did. War may make noise with Guns and rattling Drums, But Water, where it comes, it overcomes. Thus Earth, nor Air, nor Fire, nor rumbling War, Nor plague, or pestilence, nor famine are Of power to win, where Water but commands, As witness may the watery Northerlands. Concerning Merchandise, and transportation, Commerce and traffic, and negotiation, To Make each Country have by Navigation The Goods, and Riches of each others Nation. Commodities in free community, Embassages for war or unity: These blessings, by the Sea, or some fresh River Are given to us, by the All-giving Giver. And in the vasty and unmeasured room Of Neptune's Regiment, or Thetis womb, Are almost shapes and forms of all the things Which in the Earth, or Air, or dies, or springs. Ther'e Fishes like to Sun or Moon, and Stars, Fowls of the Air, and weapons for the Wars, Beasts of the Field, and Plants and Flowers there, And Fishes made like Men and Women are. All instruments for any Art or Trade, In living forms of Fishes there are made. This is approved, if any man will seek In the first day of Bart●● his first week, Heaven hath ordained the marry Element To be a Seal and sacred Sacrament, Which doth in Baptism us regenerate, And man again with God doth renovate. And as it in the Laver (mystical) Doth cleanse us from our sin original: So for our corporal uses 'tis most meet To wash our clothes, and keep us clean and sweet. Were't not for Water thus we plainly see, No beast on Earth more beastly were than we. Ourselves with nastiness ourselves should smother, Or with our own sterich poison one another. It keeps our vessels clean to dress our meat, It serves to cleanse and boil the meat we eat. It makes our houses handsome, neat and clean, (Or else the maid is but a sluttish quean) Thus Water boyles, parboyles, and mundifies. Cleares, cleanses, clarifies, and purifies. But as it purges us from filth and stink; We must remember that it makes us drink, Metheglin, Braggot, Beer, and headstrong Ale, (That can put colour in a visage pale) By which means many Brewers are grown Rich, And in estates may soar a lofty Pitch, Men of Good Rank and place, and much command Who have (by sodden Water) purchased land: Yet sure I think their gain had not been such Had not good fellows used to drink too much; But wisely they made hay whilst Sun did shine, For now our Land is overflown with wine: With such a Deluge, or an Inundation As hath besotted and half drowned our Nation. Some that are scarce worth 40 pence a year Will hardly make a meal with Ale or Beer: And will discourse, that wine doth make good blood, Concocts his meat, and make digestion good, And after to drink Beer, nor will, nor can He lay a Churl upon a Gentleman. Thus Bacchus is adored and deified, And We Hispanialized and Frenchifide: Whilst Noble Native Ale, and Beeres hard fate Are like old Almanacs, Quite out of Date; Thus men consume their credits and their wealths, And swallow sicknesses, in drinking healths, Until the fury of the spriteful Grape Mounts to the brain, and makes a man an Ape, A Sheep, Goat, Lion, or a Beastly swine, He snores, besoyled with vomit and much Wine. At Good men's Boards, where of● I eat good cheer, I find the Brewer honest in his Beer. He sells it for small Beer, and he should cheat, In stead of small to cozen folks with Great. But one shall seldom find them with that fault, Except it should invisibly rain Malt. O Tapsters, Tapsters all, lament and cry, Or desperately drink all the Taverns dry: For till such time as all the Wine is gone, Your are bewitched, and guests you shall have none. Then to the Taverns hie you every man: In one day drink four Gallons, if you can, And with that trick (within a day or twain) I think there will but little Wine remain. Your hopes to hops return again will be, And you once more the golden age will see. But hold, I fear my Muse is mad or drunk, Or else my wits are in the wetting shrunk: To Beer and Ale my love hath some relation Which made me wander thus beyond my station. Good Reader be my Priest, I make confession, I pray thee pardon me, my long digression. From Beer and Wine to water now a while, I mean to metamorphose back my style. Were't not for Water, sure the Dyers would die, Because they wanted where withal to dye. Cost would be lost, and labour be in vain, 'Tis Water that must help to die in Grain. They could then fear no colours, it is clear, Want water, and there will be none to fear. The Fishmongers, (a worthy Company) If Water did not still their Trade supply, They would be Tradefalne, and quite down be trod, Nor worth the head or brainpan of a Cod. Then Lent and Ember-weeks would soon be shotten, All fasting days would quickly be forgotten: Carthusian Friars, in superstitious Cloisters Would want their st●irring Cockles, Crabs and Oysters: And Catholics turn Puritans strait way, And never more keep Lent or fasting day. But leaving Neptune, and his Trumping Triton, Of other Waters now I mean to write on, (Exhaled by Phoebus from the Ocean main) Of Clouds, of misty Fogs, all sorts of Rain, Of Dew, of Frosts, of Hail, of Ice of Snow Which falls, and turns to water here below, Of Snow and Raine, as they together meet Well mingled in the Air, are called Sleet. Of Springs, of petty Rils, of Crystal Founts, Of Streamelets here my merry Muse recounts; Of Fords, of Brooks, of Rivers, Lakes and Bournes; Of Creeks, of Ebbs and floods, and their returns, Of Gulfs, ponds, Whirlpooles, Puddles, Ditches, Pools, Of Moats, of Baths, some hot, and some that cools, Of Waters, bitter, sweet, fresh, salt, hot, cold, Of all their operations manifold; These (if I can) I'll mention with my Pen And last of Urinal and strong Watermen. Of Clouds. A Cloud's a Vapour, which is cold and moist, Which from the Earth, or Sea, the Sun doth hoist Into the middle Region of the Air, And is (by extreme cold) congealed there, Until at last, it break and falls again, To Earth, or Sea, in snow, sleet, Hail or Raine. Of Mists. Mists are such clouds, which near the earth do lie, Because the sun wants strength to draw them high. When radiant Sol displays his piercing Beams Of Rain. Into a cloud, it Thaws, and Rains, in streams: And as the cloud is distant near or far, So, great, or small the showrie drops still are. Some men (against Rain) do carry in their backs Prognosticating Aching Almanacs: Some by a painful elbow, hip, or knee, Will shrewdly guess, what weather's like to be: Some by their corns are wondrous Weather-wise, And some by biting of Lice, Fleas, or Flies: The Gout, Sciatica, The Gallian Morbus, Doth oft foretell if Tempests shall disturb us; For though these things converse not with the start, Yet to Man's Grief they are Astronomers; In Spring time, and in Autumn Phoebus' Ray From land and sea draws vapours in the day, Which to th' Airs lowest Region he exhales, Dew. And in the night to pearly dew is fals. Here oft fall Meldewes, sweet as Honey; And Dew oft turns Manna in Polonia land. 'twixt Dew and Hoarefrost, Hoare frosts all the odds, I hold One comes from heat, the other from the cold. hail. Hail is an Ice which oft in flaws and storms In spring and Harvest falls, in sundry forms; For in the Autumn, Winter, or by night Scarce any Hail within our land doth light. And last comes Snow, Snow. the cold of Winter's Wethers, Which falls and fills the Air with seeming feathers. These from the land, and from the Ocean Maine, The Sun draws up, and then le's fall again. Thus water universally doth fly From Earth and sky to Sea, from them to Sky: For 'twixt the Firmament, the land and Ocean, The Water travels with perpetual Motion. Now, from the Airy Regions I descend, And to a lower course my study beside He that of these things would know more, may please To look them in some Ephimerides. Springs, Springs. (in the Earth) I do Assimilate To veins of Man, which do evacuate, And drop by drop through Caverns they distil. Till many meetings make a petty Rill: Which Rill (with others) do make Rivulets, And Rivulets, Brooks, Bournes and fords begets, And thus combined, they their store deliver Into a deeper trench, and make a River. Then Rivers join, Rivers. as Isis doth with Tame, And Trent with Owse, and Humber doth the same. Those altogether do their Tributes pay Unto their sovereign Ocean night and day. These make Dame Tellus womb to fructify, As blood in veins of men do life supply, Lakes in low vallied Grounds have Generation, Lakes Or from some several River's Inundation. Some Lakes seem Oceans, amongst which are these The Dead-lake, Hircan, and the Caspian seas. A Whirpooles like unto state policy Not to be sounded, but with jeopardy. Hot Baths do spring from Brimstone veins, whose heat For many cures have operation great. Some mineral earth is bitter, and doth make The water issuing thence, that taste to take. In Sicily, they say, there is a Well Whose water doth for Vinegar serve well. A Well near Bileu in Bohemia lies Which (like burnt Wine) the Country there supplies. And diverse springs in Germany there be, Whose taste with Vinegar, or Wine agree. For there the Brimstone mines, and Minerals With Fumes infuting vapours up exhales And with the waters do incorporate Hot, cold, sweet, sour, as they ennaccuate. Some Rivers are of such strange working might, Which drank (by sheep) doth change them black from white, Some that with bathing cure, blind, dease, and lame, And makes men's hair red that do drink the same, Some are at noon keycold, at midnight hot, Some makes a man mad, some a drunken sot, Some are in summer cold, in winter warm, And some are baneful, full of poysn'ous harm. Some (do with lost) make men's affections burn, And some (through coldness) wood to stones will turn, Some will quench burning torches straight, and then Dipped in the water they are light again, I read that in Silicia one may find A well which if Thieves drink of, are struck blind, Myself, and many thousands more than I Would (rather then to drink thereof be dry.) If Britain's waters all were such, I think That few of us would dare thereof to drink: I could write more of strange wells opp'tatious: And waters of our own and other Nations. But Doctor Fulk of late hath writ a book, Of Met'ors, and who lists therein to look, May read, and reading may be well sufficed, So learnedly he hath Epitomised. There are two Springs, which women (when they mump) Or lumpish lowering from their eyes can pump, And in those pearly streams the fool, and witty, Hath oftentimes been ducked or soused with pity: Kind hearted men are drowned in sorrow deep When they do see a handsome woman weep. But April like, soon dry and quickly wet (As anger, love, or hate do rise or set,) But as for those that truly spring from grief, I wish them consolation and Relief. Now (to eclipse the vigour of the Vine) We have strong waters, stronger much than Wine: One with a quart of water drunk may be, When (of the best wine) he may hold out three, The sellers of these waters seldom row, And yet they are strong-water-men, I know. Some watermens there are of sight so quick, They'll tell by water if a man be sick, And (through the urinal) will speedily Find out the cause, the grief and remedy. These men deserve much honour, love and thanks. But hang base pisspot cheating Mountebanks. 'Twere fit the Ratcatchers with them should be, Combined in one, and at one Hall made free. I could speak why the sea doth ebb and flow, And why 'tis salt, but Doctor Fulke doth show Compendiously, as I have said before; And therefore her I'll touch these points no more. Month changing Luna, hath the government O'er all the various watery element, And as the Moon is mutable even so The waters still are turning to and fro: 'Tis smooth, 'tis rough, deep, shallow, swift and slow, Whose motion doth perpetual ebb and flow: Most weak, most strong, most gentle, most untamed Of all the creatures that were ever named: It is so weak that children may it spill, And strong enough millions of men to kill: As smooth as Glass, as Rugged as a Bear, Weak, and yet greatest burdens still doth bear, And as the waters from the Moon doth carry Her inclination, and like her do vary: So I (a Waterman) in various fashions, Have wroate a hotchpotch here of strange mutations, Of ancient liquors, made by Liber Pater, Of drinks, of Wines, of sundry sorts of Water: My Muse doth like a Monkey frisk and frigge, Or like a Squirrel skip, from twig to twig: Now sipping Cider, straightway supping Perry, Metheglin sweet, and Mead, (that makes her merry) With Braggot, that can teach a Cat to speak, And poor Pomperkin (impotent and weak) And last (as the chief of all the rest) She tipples Huff-cap Ale, to crown the feast. Yet now and then in Beer and Balderdash Her lips she dips; and clean her entrailes wash: And ending, she declares Sack's mighty power, Which doth time, coin, wit, health, and all devour. Not by the moderate use, but by th' abuse Which daily is in universal use. For Rhenish, Claret, White, and other Wines They need not the expression of my lines: Their virtue's good, if not commixed impure, And (as they're used) they may both kill or cure. Through drinks, through wines, and waters, I have run, And (being dry and sober.) I have DON.