¶ The Praise, of Clean Linen. With The Commendable use of the Laundress. By John Taylor. 〈…〉 printer's or publisher's device LONDON Printed by E: Allde for Hen. Gosson. 1624. The Epistle dedicatory. To the most Mundifying, Clarifying, Purifying, and Repurifying, Cleanser, Clearer, and Reformer of Deformed and polluted Linen, Martha Legge Esquiresse, transparent, unspotted, Snow-Lillywhite Laundress to the Right worshipful and generous the Inns of Court, of the middle Temple, with diverse others in the rank of Nobility, Gentility, and tranquillity, your poor and unknown Poetical Orator john Taylor, in humility and servility, craves your Patronages ability, in defence of his imbecility. MOst cleanly and professed Antagonist to vermin, dirt, and filth, as Dragmatus the Diagorian Stigmatist very worthily wrote in his treatise of the antiquity of Shapparoones and careless Bands; Rushto● tun tumeron smolensco whish wherlibumque. Which is in English, That to conserve and keep clean, is as much or more than to make clean: and I knowing by long experience that your 〈…〉 for our health 〈…〉 upon those g●●●e 〈…〉 I have presumed to 〈…〉 to your 〈…〉. No● doubting 〈…〉 of your I ennity 〈…〉 fault● as are not 〈…〉 through ●ant of igno●●● 〈…〉 Sta●●h of your 〈…〉 will stiffen the weakness 〈…〉 ●●eble and limber labours, 〈…〉 ●ee able to stand like a stout 〈…〉 D●gge, against the opposition of 〈…〉 Mungerels: I have in this 〈…〉, set forth the praise and 〈…〉 of Clean Linen, with 〈…〉 pa●nes of the Laundress: 〈…〉 Lawndres I find to be both 〈…〉 de●●gat●ry to your comely, 〈…〉 near, sweet and 〈…〉 for the Annagram of F●sh●●● 〈…〉 most 〈…〉 your glory 〈…〉 to be termed 〈…〉 of Lawn, 〈…〉 dress, Laundress, 〈…〉 lesdresse, 〈…〉 which 〈…〉 for you are the 〈…〉 Cap a pea 〈…〉 Sock, to the 〈…〉 and from the 〈…〉 and well beloved 〈…〉 in I am struck 〈…〉 daunted 〈…〉 accompany 〈…〉 chastity. For 〈…〉 enter a Gen●●●●● 〈…〉 〈◊〉 of his soul 〈◊〉 in his bed, to 〈…〉 h●m 〈◊〉 your bore and naked mercy, 〈…〉, in pity 〈…〉 you put 〈◊〉 cleave 〈…〉 leaving him in a clea●●● 〈…〉 th●n you found 〈…〉 doubt bu● such objects 〈◊〉 pro●●●● 〈…〉 temptations to frail flesh and 〈…〉 as I said before, your courage 〈◊〉 constancy always brings you fairly of and on, though thousands weaker yes●●● 〈…〉 would be cra●●● in these 〈…〉 As for your good 〈…〉 who 〈◊〉 L●gge by name, my poor 〈◊〉 makes a leg in courtesy to him & 〈◊〉 both. Some Cobbling Coxcombs in 〈◊〉 and ●udgement, will term him a 〈◊〉, w●●●est good manners entitles 〈…〉 Tratis●ator When I think upon the 〈…〉 correspondency of both your 〈…〉 approve i●●●●tune for a wise 〈…〉 chapping such a con●●● 〈…〉 a mender, and 〈…〉, speak truth you 〈◊〉 both 〈…〉 how many will 〈…〉 mond your 〈…〉 (were and clear, 〈…〉 our wicked and 〈…〉 upright the is 〈…〉 and weigheth much of 〈…〉 work is sild 〈…〉 shows the true 〈…〉 Name: and 〈…〉 more 〈…〉 whereof, 〈…〉 house, doth good 〈…〉 between the Legs, 〈…〉 husband may 〈…〉 Poetically make an H●●●merez Legs are the supporters 〈…〉 holds and 〈…〉 A gool Legge●a grea● grace 〈…〉 creetlyessex● to the ca●e, me not too much ●indled in the 〈…〉 wo●e Translot knows that a 〈…〉 mourfo● go●●●ogge, we a 〈…〉 or visor for bad 〈…〉. men's many a Gentleman usher will say ●●●hatu●● est of all parts of the Body the Leg bears the prick and praise It is embroidered with veins, inlaid with Arteries, enchased with Nerves, interlaced with Muscles, enamelled with Sinews, interwoven with Membranes, intermixed with Tennons, embossed with Ankles, having a Neat Foot for a Man, and five Toes for Pages to attend it. Moore for the honour of Legs; what is better meat than the Legs of Beife, Mutton, Lamb, Pork, Capon, Turkey, Goose or Woodcock? Nay, there is such virtue in them, that any reasonable Cook with a Stools Leg (& something else) will make good broth. To finish my prolixious short briee, and tedious dedication, I wish that you and your Husband in conjugal combintion, in the way of Procreation, may multiply and make Legs, whic● is a part of good Manners and courtesy, whereof these unmannerly times almost barren. Thus referring my ●se and my labours to be accepted and censured according to the purity and integrity of both your reforming functions, with my prayers for the clean amendment of all soulers of Linen, and the reforming of all bad Legs for the better supportation of Washers, Starchers and Translators I remain, He whose sinful so●rs 〈◊〉 bumble at the m●r●y of your washing Bo●te, ●●●a T●●●●a. The Praise of Clean Laennen. MY M●se avoidings beings 〈◊〉 ●●●ster 〈◊〉 Nor from the Fridg●de or the 〈…〉 She hath not sea●●●: Amer●●●●as ●ounds, Nor foraged over A●●ces ●co●●ned grounds; For this here under W●nt ●●●ueld ●or Unto the Welsh, the Irish 〈◊〉 the Scot To Town nor C●●e did I make repu●e, Nor did I buy in Market or ●n Fair This L●nnen Treasure; but ●n ●ed none. Where (Cares except, Be●fellowe ●ad ●one My drowsy M●●e 〈…〉 strait he nee●●: This well-beloved sub●ect ●●wixt me ●hee●es. Yet, though not fare 〈◊〉 mu●e for 〈◊〉 ●ome. I did accept 〈◊〉 when she ●●ougnt●r ●ome. And taking Pe●●● 〈…〉 What you may 〈◊〉 and 〈…〉. And OH sweet I 〈…〉 (Though of thee 〈…〉) Yet, for I 〈…〉 And with my 〈…〉 Assist thy Poet, never let him lack A comely cleanly Shirt unto his back. Clean Linen, is my Mistress, and my Theme Flows, like an overflowing plenteous stream, But first I will discover what I mean By this same seemly word, which men call Clean: As Titan's light's offensive to the Owl, So Clean is opposite to what is fowl: Yet (in the Air) some flying Fowl there are, Which ta'en, & cleanly dressed, are Fowl clean fare, But foully dressed, when it is fairly taken: Foule is that Fowl, a foul ill take that Cook. But to the word called Clean, it is allotted, The admirable Epithet Unspotted, From whence all soylde pollution is exiled, And therefore Clean is called undefiled: 'Tis fair, 'tis clarified, 'tis mundifide, And from impuritye is purified. But to be truly Clean is such a state As gains the Noble Name immaculate: And I wish all mankind the grace might win To be (as here I mean) all Clean within. As 'tis no grace a man a man to be, If outward form want inward honesty: ●o Linen if with (Clean) it be not graced, 'tis noisome, loathsome, and it gives distaste. A● Virtue man or woman doth adorn, So (Clean) is Linens virtue; and is wome For pleasure, profit, and for ornament, Throughout the World's most spacious continent. Much more of this word (Clean) might here be writ, But tediousness is enemy to wit, Clean Linen now my verse descends to thee, Thou that preordinated wert to be Our Corpse first Cover, at our naked Birth: And our last Garment when we turn to Earth. So that all men Clean Linen should espy, As a memento of mortality: And that a Sheet unto the greatest State, Is th' Alpha and Omega of his Fate. As at our Births Clean Linen doth attend us; So doth it all our whole life's Race befriend us, Abroad, at home, in Church or commonwealth; At bed, or Board, in sickness and in health. It figures forth the Church's purity, And Spotless Doctrine, and integrity: Her State angelical, whate innocence; Her Nursing love, and bright magnificence. Yet some for linen do the Church forsake, And do a Surplice for a 〈◊〉 bear take. But always to the Chur●● bring mine ears. Not eyes, to note what Robes Churchmen wears. Now from the Church let us return but home, And there the Cloth is laid against you come, Though raging hunger make the Stomach wrath ●is half assuaged by laying of the Cloth. For in the wars of eating, 'tis the use A Table of cloth is hunger's flag of Truce: Whilst in the fight the Napkins are your friends And wait upon you, at your finger's ends. Your Dinner and your Supper overpassed By Linen in your beds, you are embraced, Than, 'twixt the sheets refreshing rest you take, And turn from side to side, and sleep, and wake: And sure the sheets in every Christian Nation Are walls or limits of our generation, For where desire, and love, combined meets Than there's brave doings 'twixt a pair of sheets: But where a Harlot's lust doth entertain, There one sheets penance, bides the shames of twain To all degrees my counsel here is such That of the Lower sheet, take not too much. As from our beds we oft do cast our eyes, Clean Linen yields a shirt before we rife, Which is a garment Shifting in condition And in the Canting tongue is a Commission: In weal or woe, in joy or dangerous drifts A shirt will put a man unto his shifts. For unto it belongs this fatal lot It makes him shifted that hath or hath it not. The man that hath a shirt doth shifted and change And he that hath no shirt doth shifted and range, So the conclusion of this point must fall, He shifteth most that doth not shifted at all. Besides, a shirt, most magically can Tell if its owner be an honest man: The washing will his honesty bewray, For, the less soap will wash his shirt they say, Most men, Clean shirts at such esteem do prize That the poorest thief who at the gallows dies If but his shirt is Clean, his mind is eased, He hangs the handsomer, and better pleased. Next at the smock I needs must have a flirte (which is indeed the sister to a shirt) 'Tis many a females Linen tenement, Whilst 'twixt the quarters she receive herrent. A smock's her store-house, or her warehouse rather where she her come in doth take & gather. Hit gains by it are more than can be told, 'Tis her revenue, and her copyhold, Her own fee simple, she alone hath power To let and set at pleasure every hour. 'Tis a commodity that gives no day, 'Tis taken up, and yet yields ready pay, But for most other wares, a man shall be Allowed for payment days three months & three. Yet hath a smock this great pre-eminence (Where honour mixed with modest Innocence) It is the Robe of married chastity, The veil of Heauen-beloued Virginity, The chaste concealment of those first-fruits close hidde● Which to unchaste affections are forbidden, It is the Casket or the Cabinet where Nature hath her chiefest Jewels set: For what so ere men toil for, fare and ne'er By s●a or land, with danger, cost, and fear, War's wrinkled brow, & the smooth face of peace Are both to serve the Smock, and its increase. The greatest Kings, and wisest Counselors, Stout Soldiers, and most sage Philosophers: The wealthiest Merchants, and Artificers, Pleibeians, and Plough-toyling labourers, All these degrees, & more have wooed and prayed, And always to the Smock their tributes paid. Besides, 'tis taken for a favour great, (When one his mistress kindly doth entreat) He holds these words as jewels dropped from her, You first shall do as doth my Smock sweet Sir. This Theme of Smock is very large and wide, And might (in Verse) be further amplifide: But I think best a speedy end to make Lest for a Smel-smocke some should me mistake, I first began it with a flirt or flout And ending, with a mock, I will go out. The Anagram of SMOCK I find is MOCKS, And I conclude a pox of all straight Smocks. Now up aloft I mount unto the Ruff, W●●ch into foolish mortals pride doth puff: Yet Ruffs antiquity is here but small, Within this eighty years, not one at all, For th●●ighth Henry, (as I understand) Was the first King that ever wot a Band, And but a falling Band, plain with a hem, All other people knew no use of them, Yet Imitation in small time began To grow, that it the Kingdom ouer-ran: The little Falling-bands encreaced to Ruffs, Ruffs (growing great) were waited on by Cuffs, And though our frailties should awake our care, We make our Ruffs as careless as we are: Our Ruffs unto our faults compare I may, Both careless, and grown greater every day. A Spaniards Ruff in follio, large and wide, Is th'abstract of Ambition's boundless pride, For roundness 'tis the Emblem, as you see Of the terrestrial Globes rotundity, And all the world is like a Ruff to Spain, Which doth encircle his aspiring brain, And his unbounded pride doth still persist, To have it set, and poked as he list. The sets to Organ-pipes, compare I can Because they do offend the Puritan, Whose zeal doth call it superstition And Badges of the Beast of Babylon. Ruffs only at the first were in request With such as of ability were best: But now the plain, the stitched, the laced, & shag, Are at all prizes wome by tag, and Rag. So Spain (who all the world would wear) shall see Like Ruffs, the world from him shall scattered be. A● for the Cuff 'tis prettily encreaced (Since it began two handfuls at the lest) At first 'twas but a girdle for the wrist Or a small circle to enclose the fift, Which hath by little and by little crept. And from the wrist unto the elbow leapt, Which doth resemble saucy persons well: For give a Knave an inch, he'll take an ell. Ruffs are to Cuffs, as 'tis the breeding mothers And Cuffs are twins in pride, or two proud brothers, So to conclude, Pride wears them for abuse Humility, for omament and use, A Nightcap is a garment of high state, which in captivity doth captivated The brain, the Reason, wit, and sense and all; And every night doth bear sway capital. And as the horn above the head is worn. So is the Nightcap worn above the horn, And is a Sconce or Blockhouse for the head, wherein much matter is considered, And therefore (when too much we suck the tap) 'Tis truly called a considering Cap. By day it waits on Agues, Pleurisies, Consumptions and all other maladies, A day worn Nightcap, in our Commonwealth Doth show the wearer is not well in health, Yet some men's folly makes my muse to smile When for a kib'de heel, broken shin, or bile, Scabbed hams, cut fingers, or a little scar, A Groin Bumpe, or a Goose from Winchester, When I see Nightcaps worn for these poor uses It makes my worship laugh at their abuses. Thus is a Nightcap most officious, A Captain, Captious, and Capritio●u, And though unmarried young men may forbear it Yet age, and wedlock makes a man to wear it. A Handkerchief may well be called in brief Both a perpetual lecher, and a thief, About the lips its kissing, good and ill Or else 'tis diving in the pocket still, As fare as from the pocket to the mouth So is its pilgrimage with age or youth. At Christning-banquets and at funerals At weddings (Comfite-makers festivals) A Handkerchief doth filch most manifold, And shark and steal as much as it can hold. 'Tis soft, and gentle, yet this I admire at At sweet meats 'tis a tyrant, and a pirate. Moreover 'tis a Handkercheifes high place To be a Scavenger unto the face, To cleanse it clean from sweat and excrements, Which (not avoided) were unsavoury scents; And in our grieifes it is a trusty friend ●or in our sorrow it doth comfort lend: It doth partake our sighs, our plaints & fears, Receaues our sobs, and wipes away our tears. Thus of our good and bad it bears a share A friend in mirth a comforter in care. Yet I have often known unto my cost A Handkerchief is quickly found, and lost. Like love where true affection hath no ground, So is it slightly lost, and lightly found; But be it ten-times lost, this right I'll do it, The fault is his or hers that should look to it. Should I of every sort of Linen writ That serves us at our need, both day and night, Days, months and years, I in this Theme might spend, And in my life time scarcely make an end. Let it suffice that when 'tis fretted out And that a cloth is worn into a clout, Which though it be but thin and poor in shape A Surgeon into lint the same will scrape, O●r l●es▪ or bolsters, or with plaster spread, To dress and cure, all hurts from heel to head, For gangrenes, ulcers, or for wound● new hacked For cuts, & slashes, and for Coxcombs cracked Thus many a Gallant that dares stab and swagger And 'gainst a justice lift his fist or dagger: And being mad perhaps▪ and hot potshot, A crazed Crown or broaken-pate hath got; Than over him old Linen domineers, And ●●…ht of s teeth it clouts him 'bout the ears Thus new or old, it hath these good effects To cure our hurts, or cover our defects: And when it selfe 's past help, with age & rending Quite past s●lfe mē●ing, 'tis our means ●f mending. The sh●t & steel will strike bright sparkling fire, But how can we have fire at our desire, Except old Linen be to tinder burned, Which by the steel and flint to fire is turned? Thus all Clean Linen that a Laundress washes, My Muse hath worn to clouts, or turned to ashes. And there's the end on't. Now I must pursue (The old consumed) how to purchase new. Now of the lovely Laundress, whose clean trade Is th'only cause that Linens cleanly made: Her living is on two extremes relying, She's ever wetting, or she's ever drying. As all men die to live, and live to dye, So doth she dry to wash, and wash to dry. She runs like Luna in her circled sphere, As a perpetual motion sh● doth steer. Her course in compass ro●nd and endless still, Much like a horse that labours in mill: To show more plain how she her work doth frame, Our linen's foul ere she doth wash the same: From washing further in her course she marches, She wrings, she folds▪ she pleites, she smooths, she starches, She stiffe●s, poakes, & sets & dry again, And fold: thus end of pain gins her pain. Round like a whirligig or lenten Top O● a most plenteous spring, that still doth drop The Sudss unto the Sea I may compare The Reak or smock, the wind, the fishes Linen are The Laundress fishes, foaming froth doth lighten, T●e w●●st her tongue doth thunder & affrighten. The total is a tempest full of chiding ●●●t no man in the house hath quiet biding, For Laundresses are testy and full of wroth, When they are lathering in their bumble broth, No● can I blame them though they brawl & talk, M●● there have naught to do, they may go walk: Yet commonly their work this profit brings T●e goodwife washeth, and her husband wrings. B●t though my verse thus merrily doth stray, Yet give the Laundress still her due I pray: What were the painful Spinner, or the Weaver B●t for her labour, and her good endeavour, W●at were the function of the Linen Draperye, Or Sempsters admirable skill in Naperye? They all might turn and wind, and live by loss But that the Laundress gives their work a gloss, All Linn n that we use to wear, 'tis plain, The Laundress labour gives it grace and gain, Without her 'tis most loathsome in distaste A●d only by her pains and toil 'tis graced, She is the ornamental Instrument That makes it tasteful to the sight and sent: All you man-monsters, monstrous Linen soilers, You shirt polluting tyrants, you sheets spoilers, Robustious rude Ruff rending raggamentoyes Terratritorian tragma Troynovantoyes Remember that your Laundress pains is great, Whose labours only keeps you sweet and neat: Consider this, that here is writ, or said And pay her, (not as was the Sculler paid) Call not your Laundress slut or slabb'ring quean, It is her slabb'ring that doth keep thee clean, Nor call her not Drye-washer in disgrace For fear she cast the sudss into thy face: By her thy linen's sweet and cleanly dressed, Else thou wouldst stink above ground like a beast. There is a bird which men Kings fisher call, Which in foul weather hath no joy at all, Or scarce abroad into the air doth peep But in her melancholy nest doth keep: Till Titan's glory from the burnished East, Rich Bridegroome-like in gold and purple dressed Guilds, and enamels mountains, woods & hillles, And the rotundious Globe with splendour fills, In these brave Buksome merry Haltion days, Then this most beauteous bird her plumes displays. So doth a Lawdresse, when the Sun doth hide His head, when skies weep rain & thunder chide, When pouting, lowering s●●●●ering skeete & now, From foggy Austers blushing jaws doth blow, 〈…〉 by g●de ●nd 〈◊〉 〈…〉 doth the ski●e 〈…〉 A●●●● blush 〈…〉 ●●●ple slush. 〈…〉 wasted ●ll their 〈…〉 an bless. 〈…〉 b●an bless, 〈…〉 draw● 〈…〉 a●d shuts, 〈…〉 puts. 〈…〉 hie, 〈…〉 to dry, 〈…〉 ●aun●●●● praise & pa●●e, 〈…〉 beg●● 〈◊〉 work again: 〈…〉 they w●●● all conclude. 〈…〉 ingra●●●●●●: Bu● 〈…〉 have ●●●creede, 〈…〉 wan● 〈…〉 at ●●y ●eed. 〈…〉 I commend them, 〈…〉 may attend them. 〈…〉 of mine, The Principal ●●●asions why th● 〈…〉 was written. IT was at that 〈◊〉 that the world's terror, a●d wa●●es Thunder ●olt Agaric King of the Goths waste 〈◊〉 ●●cked Rome, and stooke all the Kingdoms of the earth into a I●●er 〈◊〉, when there was inhabiting 〈◊〉 Dukedom of Tus●anye a valiant Captain named Ca●ss, descended from the Roy all house of ●●●gus the first King of the ●●tag●ans. This Cats● being driven 〈…〉 sh●t●s in these robustuous brekeri●gs of the Goths, fled f●t safety to the I●e of S●●●n●a, where for 〈◊〉; good parts and free behaviour, ●ee was entertained by the 〈…〉 Madam 〈…〉 the 〈…〉 daughter and ●●le 〈◊〉 of 〈…〉 although 〈◊〉 place was chief Gentleman of the 〈…〉, his high pushed resolution was ●lenated and crec●ed, for tramell and houre●●e●●ces So (with much 〈◊〉 to the Lady) he took his leave, and sailing through the struts of ●●br●lt●●, ●nd the gulf of 〈◊〉 ●an●, he passed the 〈…〉 Espe●an●e, as fare as China, where be sta●d certain days at 〈◊〉 than he determined to progress it by land, and passing by the great City of Tarsus in 〈◊〉, by long journeys he came to Gal●●●, where ne●● the G●●●ne he was in hot seemee, and came off ●oru●ewhat scorched, with fireworks in a mine: passing from thence be came into France where he was well well com●d at Breast, & at the Town of Deip●, was made great provision for his coming; but for some reasons he would never came there. In brief after he had approu●d himself a hot, valiant and adventurous Soldier abroad, and a peacemaker at home, he came into Ireland, where at Dubblin he was struck lame; but ●coue●ing new● strength and courage, he ●ip●d himself for ●●●●and, la●ded at ●●st Chester, whence taking post towards London he lodged at Ho●ey in the ●ole, in his way, at last being corn to the City, he made many merry and mad vag●●es betwixt Turne●ull-streete and Brunt-prood, spending freely, and faring deliciously; having a stiff stomach to digest all dishes except Winche●ter Geese, and Newmarket Turkeys: thus with much danger and difficulty having travailed farther than ever man saw, and passed his time with much love amongst Ladies and Gentlewomen, having been a great withstander of many desperate oppositions, and a rare Musician for his long practice in Pricksong. He again past the Sea in a Frigget to C●●st●●tin ●le, where he fell into a moody melane ●oly like Timon of Athenes and scorned to ●and at any ●●me, although he was charged in the name of the Grand S●g●●●r. This Gallant having been all his time a great user wearer●, and taker up of Nappery, did most bountifully bequeath to any Poe● that would writ a Poem in the praise o● Clean ●innen, as many shirts of the purest Holland as might be washed in Helicon, and dried on the two topped hill of Parnassus. To perform whose command, and receive the bequeathed Legacy, I undertook this great task, and performed it accordingly. FINIS.