The Schoolmaster, or Teacher of Table Philosophy. A most pleasant and merry companion, well worthy to be welcomed (for a daily Gheast) not only to all men's board, to guide them with moderate & wholesome diet: but also into every man's company at all times, to recreate their minds, with honest mirth and delectable devices: to sundry pleasant purposes of pleasure and pastime. Gathered out of divers, the best approved auctors: and divided into four pithy and pleasant Treatises, as it may appear by the contents.  
❧ Imprinted at London, by Richard Jones: dwelling overagainst S. sepulchres Church without Newgate. 1576.   

❧ The Printers preamble to all estates, for the friendly entertainment of this Teacher of Table Philosophy.  

YOu worthy wights, that haughty halls do hold,  
Whose tables sundry states do daily haunt:  
Give leave (my Lords) this Teacher may be bold  
To press in place, and show himself a flaunt,  
Among your merry gheasts of sere & sundry sort,  
To play his merry parts, in plain & pleasant sport.   

What though his phrase, & stile be rudely framed,  
His fruits are furthering to your healths avail:  
To deal in daily diet, although he may be blamed,  
To tell his mind therein he doth not fail,  
To show the divers kinds, of every meat and drink  
Bread, broth, flesh, fish, or what you else can think.   

Yea, more than this, he meaneth for to show  
Among the states your table round about  
Demeanour meet from high unto the low,  
For each degree to teach he doth not doubt:  
The Prince, the page, the Gentle and the slave,  
To serve his proper turn example here may have.   

Divines perhaps, will harken to his tale.  
The warlike knight, the Squire, the soldier h●ld,  
The merchant eke that makes the merry sale.  
The lawyer to that pleads the case for gold.  
The Lady bright will hear when he doth speak,  
The widow, wife, child, maid, lame, blind, & weak,   

His problems fine, will somewhat please you all,  
And quaint demands, so pithy in each point  
His jests I know will please both great small  
And hit your vain, and nick you on the joinct  
What so you be, or where you do sojourn  
This pleasant pithy book will surely serve your turn,   

Then bid him welcome, Gentles all, and say:  
Come merry Gheast, come near and sit thee down,  
Undo thy pack, show forth we do thee pray  
Such news as may us merry make in field & town:  
Thus him to you I leave, to see what he can show,  
For doubtless, I to joy your minds, this travail did bestow.   
FINIS.   

To the right worshipful M. Alexander Nowell, Deane of the Cathedral Church of S. Paul's in London, Grace and peace from God, etc.  
RIght worshipful, having by chance happened on this Pamflet, coming unto my hands both without name and orderly beginning: I did not only peruse it myself (according to my simple skill) but showed it also unto some of my friends: of whose learning & judgement very many have good opinion, and being thereto sufficiently willing of myself, I was by them and others exhorted to publish the same in print, for that it seemed to contain nothing else but wholesome diet, sauced with honest mirth and pleasant pastimes: and interlaced with pithy and effectual examples, tending unto the advancement of virtue and suppression of vice, a fit mean to delight and recreate the weak, & specially the over wearied spirits of Studients. Now calling unto my remembrance (which I cannot forget) the manifold benefits & courtesies at all times by your worship bestowed on me & mine, aswell in calling me (most unworthy) not a few times unto your table, as otherwise, the lest part whereof I am not able of myself to recompense: my good will not wanting, but mine ability failing. I have now presumed to offer this poor present unto you, coming from an unfeigned heart, partly the travail of another man, but the testimony of my hearty affection, hoping that your worship will accept it in the better part, the rather because I have perceived you among other grave and weighty matters (aswell of Religion as otherwise) to solace yourself and others at your Table, with seemly mirth in opportunities uttered, according to the knowledge and capacity of those your poor neighbours and others with whom your board is always furnished, either concerning the qualities of meats, or their usages in foreign countries, to the great delectation of the hearers: To the which purpose, there is much matter set down in this present work, as also to other effect, wherein if there shallbe any thing found, not convenient for your learned view and severe judgement: I heartily crave your worship's pardon: protesting, that the same is not written for so grave ears, but desirous to please all sorts in honest delight: I thought it good not to leave out any thing, but to admonish, that who so shall not so well like of some trifling tales of this book, in the fourth part, he may sufficiently recreate himself in the other iii parts.  
Thus much having been over bold to utter my mind unto your worship, presuming upon your accustomed humanity, there remaineth no more, but that I commend you unto the tuition of the almighty: who always keep you and yours, and sand you now a merry new year and many, to his good pleasure and glory. Amen.  
Your worships to command.   

This first book of Table Philosophy showeth the nature and quality of all manner meats, drinks and sauces, that are used at meals.  
ACcording to the saying of Macrobius. 
Macrobi●● lib. 1. de Saturnalia.  It were a very unseemly thing that Philosophy which entreateth curiously in books, of duties, & behaviour at feasts, should be afeard to show herself also at feasts: as who should say, she would not avouch that in deeds, which she professeth in words: Or that she could keep no mean or measure, who only prescribeth the mean and measure herself unto all human affairs. Neither do I now welcome her to my table to th'intent she should moderate herself, whose order of instruction is to teach all other, how to moderate and govern themselves. And shortly after in the same place he saith, Wherefore, such a kind of Philosophy, there is no goodman, no place, nor company, that will exclude it, which so behaveth itself in every respect, that it seemeth to be necessary in every place, as though it were unlawful it should be absent. Then forasmuch as moderate Philosophy aught to be present at the table and feasts of the wise, and learned: every goodman must use the same, both for to profit & delight others. For as the same Macrobius writeth, our talk aught to be merry at the table, more powdered with pleasure the sauced with severity. And our communication at the board, as it aught to be fair with honesty: so must it be pleasant with delight. Wherefore, it is generally expedient, that all table talk be either concerning the nature & quality of the meats and drinks whereof we feed, or of table questions wherewith we may be made merry and stirred up to mirth at the board, or else touching them their condition, and manners with whom we meet at the table, or lastly of such merriments and honest devices wherewith we may be refreshed and delighted at our meat. And for this cause I have determined to entitle this work, The Schoolmaster or teacher of Table Philosophy, and have divided the same into four several parts. The Arguments whereof, I have thought good to set down together before the whole work, and afterwards every Argument severally before each book whereto it belongeth.   

❧ The Argument of the first book, which is of natural Philosophy.  
The first book treateth of the nature and quality of all manner of meats, drinks, and sauces, that are used at meals.   

The Argument of the second book, which is moral Philosophy.  
The second book speaketh of the manners, bebaviour, and usage of all such, with whom we may happen to be conversant withal, aswell at the table, as all other times among company.   

The Argument of the third book, and is of natural Philosophy.  
The third book containeth certain delectable and pleasant questions and pretty Problems to be propounded for mirth among company at all times, but most conveniently at the table.   

The Argument of the fourth book, and is of moral discourses.  
The fourth book, compriseth honest jests, delectable devices and pleasant purposes to be used among company, for delight and recreation at all times, but especially at meal times at the table.   
¶ The Teacher of Table Philosophy, aswell Natural as Moral.  

The first Book of Meats, Drinks, and Sauces.  

Chap. 1. ¶ Of convenient time to eat meat, and how often a Man may eat according to his Complexion.  
NOw first of all, let us see concerning the time and hour to eat, which were the most convenient: whereof Rhasis maketh mention, saying, 
Rhasis.  that it is best time to eat, when the weight of the meat which we eat last before is funck downward, and the bottom of the stomach is become light, and there remain no swelling nor fullness, and a man have moderately exercised himself before, & he have a good appetite: then is it the best time to feed. Moreover, as the same author saith, a man must take heed that he defer not to feed when his appetite serveth him, unless it be some sergeant appetite, such as chanceth sometimes to Drunkards, and those that loathe their meat. But so soon as one that is not drunk, beginneth to have an appetite, and the nourishment which he received before were not much nor gross: then aught he to eat presently without all delay. But if he defer eating so long until his appetite be past which he had before: then were it best for him to eat some of the Syrup of Violets, or the Syrup called Acetosus, or drink warm water, and so to abstain from eating until he have vomited, or gone to stool, or that his appetite begin to come again. Likewise, the same author in the same place saith farther. This is very diligently to be observed, that every man eat such meats as he hath been accustomed unto, and use to feed as often as he hath been wont, unless this custom of his hath been evil, and therefore aught to be eschewed howbeit not suddenly, but by means, and by little and little. And a man must so dispose his feeding times, that he eat twice between one day and a night, or at the most twice in one day, or, which is more temperate thrice in two days. As for those which have lean and dry bodies, it is hurtful unto them to eat but once in a day. And it is evil for such as have gross and fat bodies to eat twice in aday. Also those that do exercise themselves, and labour much, have need of meat of more gross substance than those which use contrary order, who require contrary meats.  

Auerrois. in Cant. Avicen.  The Commentary writer Auerrois, upon the Canticles of Avicen, saith thus: It is a more temperate and orderly custom for a man to feed twice in two days. For some do think that the perfection of the third digestion is accomplished in eighteen hours, in proportion whereof when we eat three refections the digestion thereof is finished in all parts of the body in that time, or much there about. And whereas I would have eighteen hours between two meals: it is thereby evident that the most convenient time to eat, is when a man feeleth himself lightened, and hath fully digested the meat which he eat before.   

Chap. 2. Of Appetite, and custom to eat.  

Avicen. in Cant.  COncerning Appetite and custom to eat, Avicen writeth in the second part of his Canticles. Wherefore let a man feed according to the use and custom of his own nature, not omitting to eat those meats that are delectable. Upon which place Auerrois writeth thus, 
Auerrois.  in his Commentary: Custom is likened unto Nature, which is to say, Custom must needs be observed although it were evil, and not to be commended. And whereas he saith: Appetite is not to be omitted, which is a precept of this Art: it is to be understood in all meats whether they be desired for that they be of their own Nature commendable, or otherwise. And therefore it is said, that of two sorts of meats that which is less good and pleaseth more the Appetite: is better for us, then that which is better and less pleaseth our fancy. 
Rhasis.  Rhasis also upon the fourth of Almansor saith: it chanceth many times, 
Alm. 4  that some meats that are evil, are found to agree with some natures which cannot abstain from them as other some can. And perhaps some meats that are good, are perceived not to agreed with some men's stomachs, from which it were good for them to abstain wholly. And if there be some meats agreeing with some Natures which are desirous of them, although they be not good nor wholesome: yet are they to be yielded unto the Appetite, unless they be exceeding eevell▪ and a man must beware that he use not always naughty nutriment.   

Chap. 3. Of the order of Meals, and eating Meat.  
THE cause why our Digestion is many times corrupt is this: because at one meal we feed on sundry sorts of Meats, eating the gross before the fine, and filling ourselves with sundry kind of cates made with broths thickened with grated bread, and to to long protracting the time from the beginning of the Meal to the end. But for the better ordering of our diet, we must note: that it is best in Winter to use meats actually hot, and in Summer actually cold. Howbeit we must beware of Meats over hot as they come out of the pot, or from the fire, and take heed of them that are very cold, as such as are cooled upon the Snow. Avicen in his Canticles saith thus: that moist and slippery meats are to be eaten before such as bind, 
Avicen.  and that which is sweet must be mingled with that which is sour, and the dry corrected with the moist, and the cold with the hot. And whereas we say that the moist and liquid must be taken before the binding: that is a precept in the regiment and order of meat, for that it is required to the preservation of health, that the meat be measured in quality, quantity, time, & order. Adding also unto these conditions, that the Meat be good, and well dressed. Which rule is gathered of the contrary, to wit, that one contrary be brought to a just temperature by his contrary, as are the qualeties sweet by sour, dry by moist, cold by warmth, and such like, above recited.   

Chap. 4. Of a convenient place to feed in.  

Avicen.  ACcording to the advertisement of Avicen in his Canticles, we aught to have a special regard to the place wherein we feed, that it be quiet and cold, and through blown with the wind, and that it be so at the time and hour when we intent to feed therein. And therefore in this point it behoveth a man to be diligent. 
Auerrois.  Auerrois the Commentary writer saith, that we must look to this most especially in Summer, because then erternall heat wéekeneth natural heat, like as the shining of the Sun putteth out the fire if it come to it, and yet when the fire is once come into the shadow it reviveth again. 
Rhasis.  And Rhasis in the place above recited, willeth us to eat our meat at cool times, and if case we cannot get a cold place, yet to watch a cold time to feed in, and so after that we be refreshed we may sleep, and take our rest.   

Chap. 5. Of Meats and Drinks, whereon we feed at the Table.  
HEreafter we have to entreat of such meats and drinks as are for the most part used at the Table. And first of Bread, 
Rhasis.  Rhasis writeth upon the third Book of Almansor, saying: Bread that is made of Wheat is in many respects most convenient f●r men, especially if it be well seasoned, well leavened, well ●aked, fine ground, & purely cleansed, although it be then somewhat hard of concoction. 
Avicen.  And Avicen showeth the cause why it is so: saying that the better it is bolted the easier it is of digestion, and so m●tch the harder how much the more it is full of Bran. And the cause is: for that the bran hindereth the passage, and the slipperiness of the voiding of it. And that is the best bread which is baked in an Oven, temperately seasoned and leavened, and made light, that when it is cut it be hollow like a sponge. Moreover Rhasis in the place before alleged, affirmeth the unleavened bread is hard to digest, and descendeth slowly out of the stomach, causing griping in the belly, obstruction in the liver, and procureth grief in th● kidneys. He saith also that Barley bread is colder than Wheaten, of small nutriment engendering windiness, the colic, and other cold diseases, & maketh a man costiffe. The bread of other kinds of grain is of quality according to the nature of the grain of which it is made. Avicen saith, let no Man eat Bread while it is hot, but when it is one night old.   

Chap. 6. Of Wine, and the qualities thereof.  
Wine, as Isaac sayeth in the third book of dietes, 
Isaac.  causeth good nutriment, bringeth health to the body, and preserveth the same. And there is no drink nor meat to be found so comfortable unto natural heat, by reason of a certain familiarity with it, for naturally it strengtheneth digestion. The heat thereof is like unto natural heat, and therefore it is soon converted into natural and most pure blood. It claryfieth thick blood, searching the passages of the whole body, but specially of the veins, and cleanseth them, it openeth the Liver, it taketh away dark smokiness which engendereth heaviness, repelling the same from the heart, it comforteth all parts of the body, it causeth the mind to forget sorrow and grief, it bringeth mirth, it maketh hardy, it sharpeneth the wit. Wherefore it is convenient for all ages, all seasons, all countries, being received according to the custom of him that drinketh the Wine, as so much his nature is able to bear. Thus is it manifest, that Wine is good for all men if they take it moderately. And therefore in old times, Wine was likened unto the great treacle, and to the Nature thereof. For it heateth cold bodies, and cooleth hot, it moisteneth the dry, and drieth the moist. And many times it quencheth the thirst more than water. 
Rhasis.  Rhasis in the fore-alleged place of his third book, saith thus: Wine generally heateth the stomach, and liver, making passage for the nutriment, it also increaseth blood, and flesh, and augmenteth natural heat, helping nature to accomplish her peculiar functions. By Wine digestion becometh stronger, superfluities are expulsed, and the passage made easy for their riddance. By wine health is permanent, and strength abideth, & old age kept away. Wine also maketh the soul merry, but if it be immoderately taken it hurteth the Liver, brain, and Sinews, it breadeth the Trembling, the Palsy, and Apoplexy, and bringeth sudden death.   

Chap. 7. Of Meade, and the properties thereof.  

Rhasis.  THe drink which is made of Honey commonly called Mead, by the authority of Rhasis is very hot, engendering red Choler. It agreeth not with hot complexions, but it is very convenient for cold temperatures. 
Avicen.  Auerrois also upon the Canticles of Avicen, saith, that Mead is better than wine, for such as have natural feeble sinews.   

Chap. 8. Of strong or double Ale.  

Rhasis,  DOuble Ale saith Rhasis, in the place above recited, & chief which is made of Barley, hurteth the sinews, maketh the head to ache, filleth the body with wind, but it provoketh urine, and represseth the heat which cometh of drunkenness. But that Ale which is made of wheat, having in it Mints and Smaledge, well burned▪ is supposed to be better for all men, but especially it is forbidden them that are hot in the Sun and conversant abroad, and of hot disposition, and in an hot time of the year.   

Chap. 9 Of flesh in general.  
IT is confirmed by the authority of Rhasis in the place before alleged, 
Rhasis.  that of all nutriments Flesh nourisheth most soonest, fatteth, and strengtheneth. And those that use it much: have full bodies, and have need to be let blood often, and specially if they drink wine with it. Generally, all flesh heateth, and is counted unmeet for those that have an Ague, and are troubled with repletion. Flesh that is read without fat: nourisheth more than that which hath fat, for it engendereth less superfluity, and strengtheneth the stomach more. Course flesh which is of gross substance is fit for such as labour, and fine flesh for those that use small exercise.   

Chap. 10. Of the flesh of wild beasts.  
Every beast generally, according to the division of Isaac in his third book of Dietes, is either wild, or tame. 
Isaac.  The Flesh of wild beasts is dry, and hard of digestion, and yieldeth discommendable juice by reason of their overmutch motion and exercise which they use, and the heat and drieth of the air wherein they abide, happening through the vehement heat of the Sun, and lack of covert from the parching Sun beams. So that wild flesh is of no good Nutriment, neither in quality nor quantity, saving only the flesh of wild Goats. For their natural coldness is much repressed by the overmutch heat and drieth, whereto they do accustom themselves. Wherefore, seeing also that the taste and unsavoury smell of their flesh is corrected by their exercise: it is some help unto digestion, that their flesh may be very well and easily concocted. All other tame beasts in comparison to the wild: are better to be liked of, & do more nourish, by reason of their quietness, & the temperate air, yet are they somedeal gross & hard of digestion. And among these in my judgement, the Male beast is hotter & in different moist above the female, and is therefore more commended and the sooner digested. The flesh of the female, is more cold with immoderate moisture, and therefore slower of digestion. And the flesh of those beasts that are gelded is of a middle nature between both.   

Chap. 11. Of kids flesh.  

Rhasis.  Again, in the place of Rhasis by me erewhile alleged, it is written of kids flesh, that it is temperate, having no evil quality mixed with it, which albeit it engender temperate blood: yet is it not convenient for labourers. As for such as take no great pain, but live a gentleman's life: they cannot choose a better kind of meat then this. For it is not altogether so easy of concoction that it destroyeth the digestion, neither yet yieldeth it so gross or such plenty of nutriment that the body be thereby filled with replection, and corrupt blood engendered. But the blood that is made thereof, is between both, as neither thick nor thin: hot nor cold. In the same place also Isaac saith, that the sucking Kids are the best, of all other most excellent both for taste, nourishment, and digestion, engendering good blood, for the milk which they suck of their Dams giveth unto them natural moisture.   

Chap. 12. Of Lamb.  

Isaac.  lambs flesh also, as saith the same mine author Isaac in the place often before alleged, is good while they suck, by reason of the store of moisture & slimines: yet the superfluity of phlegm which it engendereth whereby it slippeth forth of the stomach before it be fully concocted: maketh it somewhat faulty. 
Auerrois.  Howbeit Auerrois in the fift of his Collections setteth down, how that most convenient it is that lambs Flesh be placed in goodness next unto kids Flesh, which although it have much superfluity: yet is it of a moderate, and commendable temperature.   

Chap. 13. Of Rams flesh.  

Rhasis.  TOuching the Flesh of Rams, Rhasis in the place before alleged is of opinion, that it is grosser than Kids Flesh, and increaseth more the strength of Man, yielding much more superfluity than Kids Flesh doth. Young Rams of one year old are better than Lambs or Ewes, for if their flesh be well digested it engendereth plenty of blood, and that good, specially if it be Wether's flesh, for the heat and moisture of it is temperate which causeth the flesh to have a very good taste. But Galen the prince of Physicians, 
Galen  as Auerrois reporteth of him in the fift of his collections, misliketh the flesh of weathers, and commendeth veal exceedingly.   

Cap. 14. Of Veal.  
NExt ensueth to entreat of Veal, which according to the judgement of Auerrois is good and wholesome, 
Auerrois  as not having that sliminess and coldness which is in Beef, and is more sweet both to the mouth and nose, than any other flesh. And in this respect it is better than Kid. But again, kid is better than Veal because it engendereth better humours. And mine author Isaac in the place often above rehearsed, saith: Beef engendereth gross blood, troubled, and Melancholic, yieldeth much nutriment hard of digestion, and painfully overcome by the stomach, and difficulti dissolved into the parts of the body, and it bindeth the belly. And if a man that is of a melancholic complexion, use to eat beef: he shallbe grieved with the Spleen, fall into a quartain Fever, and come into a Dropsy. Also he shall wear itchy, have the Morfewe, Leprosy, Canker, ringewoormes, according to the complexion of him which agreeth fit with this meat.   

Chap. 15. Of Swine's flesh.  
AFter the judgement of Avicen, 
Avicen.  Swinesfleash is more natural unto men than the flesh of any other living thing on the ground, which experience itself declareth according to Auerrois, in the fift of his Collections. 
Isaac.  And Isaac also in the work above named, writeth that Swinesfleash is colder and moister than the flesh of any other beast, especially if it be of a tame Swine. For wild swinesfleash in comparison of tame Swinesfleash, is hot and dry, and nourisheth less. Yet is it best to fáede on tame swinesfleash but seldom, and only upon the extreme parts thereof, as are the feet, chaps, and Swinesfleash in deed nourisheth much engendereth good juice, and loooseth the belly by reason of the store of moisture and sliminess which is in it: howbeit, it provoketh not urine, and agreeth very well with them that use a slender diet. But the young sucking pig is best of all, and nourisheth most, and maketh passing good blood.   

Chap. 16. Of Deeres flesh, Hare's flesh, and bears flesh.  
ANd still to follow the judgement of my first author in the place above recited, dears flesh is melancholic & hard of digestion, but the young sucking Fawns are the best in that kind, and the middle aged are next in goodness unto these, and the old ones worst of all. The gelded buck, and the barren do, are best of the two last sorts, for that they be of a temperate heat, & drieth. 
Avicen.  Howbeit Avicen saith, that they make gross substance which descendeth down to fast, and breadeth the quartain ague. And the top of the dears tail is poison. The Hare, as saith Rhasis, most certainly engendereth Melancholic blood, above all other flesh. But Isaac saith, that although it engender dry, and gross blood: yet is it betttr then the flesh of the young Kid or Goat. And Bears flesh, as he writeth, is very clammy, repugnant to digestion, and yield eevell nutriment, and is more to be used for Medicine, then for Meat.   

Chap. 17. Of the parts of Beasts.  

Rhasis.  THe Head, saith Rhasis, of every thing is of gross substance, nourishing much, & heateth, & aught not to be eaten but at cold seasons: For thereby many times is the Colic engendered, it much comforteth blood, & increaseth the seed of Man.  
The Brain being cold, overturneth the stomach, and hurteth it, and therefore whoso eateth Brains: let him eat them before all other meat. Moreover it is good for hot Complexions, and evil for such as are troubled with cold diseases.  
Marrow cometh very nigh unto temperature, but it is somewhat of the hottest, it increaseth natural seed, and mollifieth the stomach. The udder of a beast is cold & gross, and although it nourish much yet is it hard of digestion, and is good for them that have a hot stomach, and Liver. The Liver is hot and moist, heavy, and hard of digestion. Isaac saith that it engendereth good blood, but specially of young beasts that suck. But the Liver of a Hen or Capon is better than of sucklings. The heart, as he saith, is of an hard substance, and is slowly digested, but being well digested: it nourisheth much. The lights also, saith he, is easily concocted, and soon departeth forth of the stomach, by ●eason of the lightness, and rareness of the substance thereof. The Kidneys are naughty in two resp●●tes, the one is for the hardness, & grossness of their substance: the other is, for that they be nourished by the fattiness of the urine, whereby they engender gross and very evil blood. Rhasis in the place above cited saith, 
Rhasis.  that read flesh without fat, engendereth dry blood, making but small excrements, and nourisheth more than fat: Fat engendereth very moist blood, causeth much superfluity, and nourisheth but little. Flesh interlarded between fat and lean, engendereth temperate blood. The feet augment slimy juice. The foremost part of the rump is lighter and hotter, and the hinder-most heavier and colder.   

Chap. 18. Of Flesh in Pasties and Pies.  
Flesh, saith Rhasis, which is baked in Pasties and Pies is evil, 
Rhasis.  and nourisheth little, but is good for them that have the sour belching. And generally all sorts of Pasties and Pies yield but little nourishment in comparison of meats made with broths. Yet many times they do good to them that are full of humours, & pleasure them that would dry up, and make their bodies proper. Flesh roasted on the spit, is gross, and nourisheth much, if it meet with a strong and a hot stomach to digest it, it bindeth the belly, which is manifestly proved, if a man eat the lean only without fat.  
Flesh boiled with Eggs and Pepper is hot, and is a good meat for winter, for it strengtheneth the body, and nourisheth above all other meats, it increaseth also seed, and blood. It maketh a man well coloured, strong, and well set. But in Summer it bringeth loathsomeness, heateth, and breedeth the stone.   

Chap. 19 Of Fowls in general.  

Isaac.  ALL Fowls generally, as Isaac reporteth, are lighter and finer than the beasts that go on the earth, but they nourish less. And the wild Fowls are better than the tame fowls, their flesh is more tender, & ●asier of digestion. The cause whereof is the lightness and rareness or their flesh proceeding of their often flying, and the dryness of the air. But the tame Fowls nourish more, and make commendable blood, and are more temperate by reason of the good temperature of their moisture and exercise. But above all fowls these are the finest the Stare, young Pertredges, and house chickens, and next unto them the elder Pertredge, the pheasant, the house Hen, and the Capon. Chickens are lighter of digestion than other Fowls, and engender good blood. They comfort the appetite, and unto all natures and complexions they are most agreeable, especial the Cockrel chickens nietheir to fat nor to lean. 
Auerrois.  And Auerrois in the fift of his Collections writeth thus: among Foules the Hen is principal insomutch that the broth thereof is good Medicine for those that have the Leprosy, and some say, that a Hen's Brain augmenteth the substance of a man's brain, and sharpeneth the wit.   

Chap. 20. Of the Hen.  

Isaac.  THE House Hen, saith Isaac▪ is not allthing so moist as is the Chick, & for that cause if it be compared to the temperament of the chickens, it is hard of digestion, but if it be well digested it nourisheth much, and specially if it be showed or boiled in fine broth, by which ordering it taketh a certain moistur of the water, and comforteth the stomach, and yieldeth much nutriment. 
Rhasis.  Moreover, mine author Rhasis in the place often before alleged, saith thus: The flesh of the Stare is found by experience to be best of all other fowls, and most fit for those that mean to live with a fine, and subtle diet. Next to this is the flesh of the Quayle, which engendereth but little superfluity, and is supposed not to be very hot. Then after this cometh the flesh of Chickens, and next of Pertredges which is more gross, binding the belly, and nourishing much.   

Chap. 21. Of young Pigeons.  
YOung Pigeons are very hot, ingendringe inflamed blood, and soon bringing an ague. And Isaac mine author saith, 
Isaac.  that young Pigeons are hot, and full of moisture, wherefore they make gross nutriment, a witness whereof is their heaviness and unaptness to fly, but when they begin to fly they wax lighter and more acceptable to digestion, they be meet for phlegmatic persons, but nought for the choleric. And also as the same writer saith: Ducks are the worst of all fowls, for their flesh, saith Rhasis, engendereth much superfluity, and destroyeth appetite, and is very warm, 
Rhasis.  but if nourisheth more than hens flesh doth. To conclude, the flesh of all water fowls in general breedeth much superfluity, and if it have therewith an evil savour: them is it judged much the worse.   

Chap. 22. Of parts of fowls, as they be eaten.  
THe Giserd of all fowls, saith Isaac, 
Isaac.  is full of sinews and hard of digestion, but being digested it make much nutriment. But of all Gisardes the Goose's is best, because of the plenty of moisture in it, and next unto that is the Hens or Capon's Gisard. Likewise their Livers is best commended, and most nourishing. The Wings of all fowls are better than any other part of the body, because of their often moving and exercise, for moving consumeth the superfluity of moisture. The Goose's and hens necks are best of all other fowls necks, and all parts of carved fowls are better than of the stoned, which maketh the Capon to be most excellent, and to yield best nutriment, and to engender perfect blood. The Brains of fowls are less moist and slimy, but drier, then of four footed beasts, and therefore more to be liked, chief of young stars, Partredges, Hens, & Cocks before they crow, or come to be carved.   

Chap. 23. Of Eggs, and their properties.  

Isaac.  FOrasmutch as Eggs, saith Isaac, do yield much nutriment for that their whole substance is converted into good juice, by reason of the affinity which they have to man's nature, and specially the yolk: therefore in respect of their temperament they be most like unto man's body. In this quality, saith Rhasis, 
Rhasis.  above the rest are Hen eggs, and Pertredges eggs, both which augment seed in man wonderfully, and provoke him to Lechery: next unto which are Duck eggs, in goodness not much inferior, but making evil juice. Geese eggs are loathsome, & have an evil smell. Hen eggs, and Pertredge eggs are most temperate, and convenient. The yolk being temperate in heat, causeth good nutriment. The white is cold and slimy, and hardly concocted. But concerning the yolk, 
Auerrois. in Cant. Avicen.  Auerrois upon the Canticles of Avicen showeth, how some be of opinion, that it engendereth as much blood in weight, as itself is of. And Rhasis saith, that eggs that are sodden or roasted hard, are more hard to digest, and descend, slowlier out of the stomach. But soft eggs are more quick to descend, being good for those that are troubled with a bloody flux, whose strength thereby is much decayed. As for réere eggs which are neither hard nor soft, are as it were in the mids between both the other. Moreover, eggs are good against roughness in the throat, and by them is engendered temperate blood, and much strength. What shall I say more? they are as good as flesh, and many times stand in steed thereof, wherefore those persons that be very fat aught not to use them.   

Chap. 24. Of Milk.  
OF Milk also it is Isaac's opinion, that it is very like unto blood. 
Isaac.  For in deed it is none other than the milk the second time concocted in the breasts or udder, whereof it receiveth whiteness, taste, and ability. Rhasis likewise saith, 
Rhasis.  that new milk cometh near to the temperment, although it decline a little unto coldness and moisture, whereby it fatteth and moisteneth the body. It is medicinable unto those that have the fever Hesticae, and the dry cough, and the burning of the urine. It ministereth excellent good nourishment unto dry bodies, & bringeth them to temperature: it also increaseth blood, and seed. But in that it is soon altered, it is noisome for those that be haunted with sharp fevers, or are troubled with headache by accident of sickness, and to them that are subject to the colic, or unto any other disease coming of cold. Cow milk of all beasts milk is counted the grossest, and is good for them that would fain be fat of body. And Asses milk is the subtlest of any beasts milk, & is good for all that are diseased in the Lungs. goats milk keepeth a mediocrity between both, but Eewe milk causeth more superfluities than any of them all. 
Isaac.  Isaac writeth of milk in this manner: Milk of beasts that be sound & not sick, if it be not eaten often, nor much, but moderately: engendereth commendable blood, moisteneth the belly, helpeth the breast, Lungs, & bladder, especially if the waterishness thereof, be sumway corrected: as altered with bread, flover, oatmeal, rice, or such like and then eaten. Rhasis writeth, the Butter milk is good against the lask proceeding of read choler, and helpeth them that are lean, and have weak bodies, & the rather, if there be a piece of hot iron or steel often quenched in it▪ whey extinguisheth read choler, it cureth the scab, whelks, blisters, the yellow jaundice, & helpeth them that are hurt with drinking strong wines. He saith also that Butter being raw, assuageth the sharpness of the throat, helpeth the Letters and ringworms, taketh away the redness of the face, and cleareth the skin, maketh whole pimpels and quiddles that are sharp & dry being therewith anointed, but it breedeth loathsomeness, & ascendeth up to the mouth of the stomach. Sedden butter weakeneth the stomach, softeneth hard impostumations, laid unto them plaster wise: it resisteth the most venomous biting of Vipers. Whoso useth to feed much on butter shall continually be troubled with diseases coming of phlegm. It nourisheth most of any unctuous thing, an● is of great faculty.   

Chap. 25. Of Cheese.  
Likewise he saith that green Cheese is cold and gross, and thought unmeet for cold natures. But old Cheese is esteemed of, according to the age. Tange Cheese which tasteth sharp of the rennet is hot, burning, breedeth thirst, and nourisheth éevel. But if a man eat a little thereof after meat: it strengtheneth the mouth of the stomach, also it taketh away satiety, and lothinge of the meat, which chanceth many times in the mouth of the stomach after sweet meats, but it must be neither too new Cheese nor to old. Moreover Isaac saith, 
Isaac.  that all Cheese in general is nought, noisum to the stomach, and hard of digestion, so that they which commonly eat it fall into the colic, and are grieved with the stone in the kidneys. Howbeit the better the Cheese is, the less harm it doth.   

Chap. 26. Of fishes  

Isaac.  THe temperament of Fish generally, as saith Isaac, is cold and moist, engendering phlegm, most agreeable unto hot and dry complexions in Summer time, and in hot regions. And unconvenient unto cold & dry complexions, in winter time, and in cold Regions. All Fish is either of the Sea, or of the fresh water. Those that are of the Sea remaining in the deep not near the shore in gravely and sandy places, are most subtle and commendable and easier of digestion than the other sea fish and engender better blood, but they descend slowly out of the stomach and entrails for lack of moist slimines. Fresh water fish are universally more gross and slimy, & slow of digestion, but they void out of the stomach with more facility than the seafish, and nourish more. The best of these are they which remain in dowfalles and swift running streams, whose bottom is gravelly or sandy, and far of from the filthiness of any town or city. Pond Fish is of all other the worst, of evil savour and hard of digestion, especially if they be far from the sea or any running stream. Rhasis, 
Rhasis  (mine author (saith: all Fishes are hard of concoction, and tarry long in the stomach, and make a man thirsty. The blood which young Fish engendereth is phlegmatic, breeding vicious sliminess in the body, whereof spring sundry diseases. Wherefore we aught to choose such fish whose substance is not clammy, nor very gross, nor have any evil smell, nor will quickly putrefy, nor that abide in ponds, Lakes and Méeres, that yield forth a stinking savour. For they that are conversant in filthy places are not fit to be eaten, neither such as live in waters abounding with unwholesome weeds whereon the Fish do feed, for they be made thereby unapt to be eaten. Saltfish aught not in any sort be set on the board, nor to be fed on, unless it were when a man for medicine sake would 'cause himself to vomit. But if any be desirous to eat thereof, let him eat but a small quantity, dressed with some slippery or unctuous thing, which may loath the stomach. The Crayfish of the river is very good for weak persons, as saith Avicen, 
Avicen.  their flesh is good for them that have a consumption, so is their broth, and Asses Milk. And some say, that they will break great impostumarions if they be laid thereto.   

Chap. 27. Of Pulse.  
COnsequently we must entreat of Pulse, 
Isaac.  in all sorts and kinds, and first of Rice, of which Isaac in the first book of the work before alleged, sayeth thus: Rice is dry in the fourth degree and hot in the first, which being sodden with water is good against the Colic that holdeth but one day. But being sodden with Almond milk it loseth the binding faculty, and nourisheth well, and engendereth good blood, and augmenteth seed. And if with the Rice or with the broth of it you wash freckles, it taketh them away, and cleanseth the skin. Avicen writeth, that the husk of Rice is thought to be poison, for if it be given in drink to any man, immediately he feeleth pain in his mouth, and his tongue wilbée blistered.  

Isaac.  Beans, after Isaac, that be green: are cold and moist in the third degree, and nourish but little, they engender gross and raw humours, and breed wind in the uppermost part of the belly. Dry beans are cold and dry in the first degree, engendering thick winds in the uppermost part of the belly, from whence there arise hurtful fumes into the brain. They 'cause sundry gross and corrupt dreams, and are hard of concoction. The great white bean not being old, is the best, and if it be sodden in water there is much of the windiness taken away thereby, and of the grossness likewise, specially if the first water be thrown away, ●nd they be boiled again in another. Being sodden with Mints, Organ, Cumin, and such like, and so eaten, their windiness is much amended. Whoso is desirous to cleanse the skin of his body: let him use to wash himself with the meal of beans, and he shall have his will. 
Rhasis.  Rhasis, saith, that green beans engender gross and raw humours, augmenting phlegm in the stomach and entrails, which breedeth much windiness. lentils also saith he are cold and dry, engendering melancholic blood, and drying the body, they darken the eyesight, and nourish Melancholic diseases, if a man use them much. Isaac saith, they fill the brain with gross fumes and Melancholy smokes, causing pain, and fearful dreams. Isaac divideth Chitch Peasen into white, 
Isaac.  and black. The white is hot in the first degree, and moist in the middle of the same, hard of concoction, engendering wind and fumosity in such quantity: that it puffeth up the flesh, and driveth the skin abroad, so that they which use it have a fair white skin, for when the skin is borne up and stretched abroad: it showeth white, and clear. The black Chitch is hotter than the white, but not so moist and is good against oppilation of the Liver, if it be boiled with Smaledge and Radish, and the juice thereof drunken, it also increaseth Milk, 
Arnold.  and seed, and provoketh Urine. Peason, according to the famous Arnoldus de villa nova, in his government of health: are of this nature: if they or Chitche● be laid a steep all night in fresh water, and be boiled next day in the same, a two or three wallops, and then be strained and kept, and when ye go to meat there be put unto the liquor a little white wine, and a small quantity of Spikenard in powder, and saffron, and a little salt Indie, and then once boiled together one wallop, and ministered at the beginning of the meal to be drunken or eaten, crumbed like pottage. It cleanseth the small veins, and the passage of the urine, especially if the Peasen and Chitches be laid in soak, and boiled with Persley in the same water. The unskilful sort say that they should be laid a soak in Lie, but that soaking taketh away all the opening faculty, and the finest part of the substance of them.   

Chap. 28. Of Pothearbes.  
NOw let us say somewhat of Pothearbes according as order and doctrine requireth, and first of Garlic, which, as saith Rhasis, is hot and dry, and taketh away thirstiness, 
Rhasis.  and increaseth fleshly lust, breaketh wind, and heateth the body. In hot regions, hot times, and unto hot complexions it doth harm, and Galen calleth it the husbandmen's treacle. 
Galen.  Beans or lentils sod & eaten take away the stinking smell of it, and so doth Rue being chawed, and a little thereof eaten down. So lkewise doth Setwall, or Mints of the garden or wild, if it be broken between the teeth, and after it a little quantity of vinegar be received. To the same purpose serveth the root of Beets, saith Pliny, being roasted, and eaten after it. Sorrell in Rhasis judgement is cold and dry, 
pliny.  it bindeth the belly, and sharpeneth the stomach, 
Rhases.  extinguishing read choler, and thirst. Avicen saith, that it taketh away toothache if they be washed with the juice thereof. Dill, according to Isaac in the second book is hot and dry, and being drunken in wine: 
Avicen.  resolveth windiness, puffines, and swelling in the stomach, 
Isaac.  and belly. The branches thereof boiled in Oil, dissolve swellings being outward anointed, assuage pain, and bring sleep. The seed drunken provoketh urine, increaseth milk, cleanseth the stomach from putrefied humours, it helpeth the hicket proceeding of the long abiding of meat in the stomach, and the often eating thereof weakeneth the eye sight.  

Isaac.  Garden smallage by the authority of Isaac, being eaten openeth oppilations, provoketh urine, bindeth the belly, is evil for the falling sickness, and hurteth women with child: and such as are with child & frequent the eating of it, it engendereth in the child's body biles, and rotten impostumations. Neither may we commend the use of smallage, for it draweth humours together from all parts of the body unto the stomach, whereof ensueth vomiting. The seed provoketh urine above the branches, 
Rhasis.  and as saith Rhasis, Smalledge openeth oppilations and puffeth up there withal, it moveth to venery, and taketh away the eevel savour of the mouth. Arredge also, saith he, is cold and moist, losing the belly, nourishing well, and is good for them that have an hot liver.  

Pliny.  Pliny in his second book writeth, that it engendereth sundry sicknesses, 
Lib. 2.  and therefore the liquor wherein it is boiled, aught many times to be changed, or else it engendereth pushes, and foul spots in the skin. Persnep, as saith Rhasis, is hot and windy, slowly digested, it maketh the seed of man hot, and expelleth urine, and farther saith Isaac, it helpeth fleshly lust, provoketh the terms, and engendereth discommendable blood.  

Pliny.  After Pliny in the second book, Beets are of two sorts, white, 
Lib. 2.  & read. The root of the read sod in water killeth the itch, the juice appeaseth the ancient pain in the head, & the dazzling, and the singing in the ears, it driveth forth urine, it appeaseth the toothache, it provoketh to venery, and is good against poison. 
Constantinus.  Borage, as saith Constantinus, is hot & moist in the first degree, it purgeth read choler, it helpeth that heart burning, and being stéepedin wine and drunken: it maketh them merry that are sad by reason of Melancholy, and the herb itself eaten raw, as some say, engendereth good blood.  
Coleworts, according unto Rhasis opinion, breedeth black choler, 
Rhasis.  troubleth the sleep with evil dreams, but it lenifieth the throat and breast, it maketh the belly soluble, and taketh away drunkenness. Isaac writeth of Coleworts, 
Isaac.  that the juice thereof drunken looseth the belly, but eaten without broth they do bind, and therefore to amend their fault, the first juice wherein they were sodden must be cast away, & then they must be sodden with good fat meat. Onions seasoned with oil, do neither heaten nor cool, nor provoke thirst, but make an Appetite. And Dioscorides saith, 
Dioscorides.  that if the juice of them be received in at the nose: it purgeth the head very well, and stamped with Vinegar taketh away spots, provoketh sleep, and softeneth the belly.  
The Gourd after Avicen, is good for the choleric persons, 
Avicen.  and hurtful to the melancholic and fleagmatick, and Dioscorides writeth, that the juice thereof holden in the mouth assuageth the toothache. 
Rhasis.  Cummin according to Rhasis is hot and dry, because it helpeth digestion, and breaketh wind, & Dioscorides reporteth, that being mingled with Vinegar, it stayeth the terms, and being drunken or anointed stoppeth the bleeding at the nose, and maketh pale and low coloured. The seed drunken with water, doth effectually cure wring, gripings, and windiness in the guts, and Isaac saith, 
Isaac.  if it be mingled with windy meats, it rectifieth them, and killeth worms being drunken. Fenell seed also saith he, increaseth milk, it dischargeth the stoppings of the Liver, and bladder, & expelleth the stone of the Kidneys, and is good against long agues, and saith Dioscorides, 
Diosco.  being mingled with eye confections: it taketh away the mistines from them. Hyssop, after Rhasis, is hot, being eaten helpeth the eye sight of weakness, it remedieth the whéezing in the Lungs, it driveth forth worms and causeth abortion, and helpeth to digest our meat. Garden Lettuce, as saith Isaac, 
Isaac.  is the best of all other Herbs to engender good blood, and being unwashed it is the better, and is soon concocted. It provoketh urine, it quencheth read choler in that stomach, it cooleth the boiling of the blood, it bringeth sleep, and increaseth blood, and seed. Mints also, saith he, is hot and dry in the second degree, comforteth the stomach, & provoketh appetite. It cleanseth away all lothsonnes of meat from the stomach, proceeding of corrupt humours, also it cleanseth the roughness of the tongue being rubbed therewith. If it be sodden in vinegar, and with the liquor the chaws be washed: it cleanseth the rottenness of the gums, but they must afterward be rubbed with powder of dried Mints. Cresses as Rhasis saith: are hot, and therefore heat the Liver and stomach, 
Rhasis.  they also mollify the belly, and drive worms out of the Maw, they provoke desire of wéemens' company, cleanse the Lungs, and take away the whéesing, help stopping of the Milt, and procure abortion. Poppy, as Isaac divideth it, is white, and black. The black is that whereof they make Opium, the white is more commendable, & nourishing, of which Dioscorides writeth thus: They that are wont to eat Poppy, it breedeth in them much sleep, 
Diosc.  and forgetfulness. Rhasis saith that the seed of white Poppy is cold, good for the throat and breast, and maketh one sleep. Persley also, saith Isaac, is hot and dry in the end of the third degree, it provoketh urine and Wéemens' terms, resolving windiness, and increasing seed, 
Serapiour  and, as Serapion saith, Persley laid plasterwise upon wheels, scabs, and morfew: cleareth the skin wonderfully, assuageth the pain of the kidneys & bladder, rarefieth the passedges of that body in opening the pores, provoketh urine & sweat, cleanseth the Liver, and resolveth the windy colic. I eekes, as testifieth Rhasis, are hot & dry although they provoke appetite, yet make they the head to ache, and engender éevyll dreams, 
Rhasis.  and are hurtful for them that are commonly troubled with the continual headache, and those that are soon offended with heat. Isaac therefore giveth counsel that it were good immediately upon them to eat Lettuce, Purslain, or Endive, that by the colons of one the heat of the other may be delayed. 
Isaac.  Being eaten raw: they cleanse the pipes of the Lungs from gross humours, they open that oppilations of the liver, & stop the salt rheum. Purslane, according to Rhasis, by quenching thirst and inward burning, bindeth the belly, and taketh away the chillness of the teeth, & bindeth the lask, proceeding of read choler, and it diminisheth natural seed. If warts be rubbed therewith, saith Avicen, 
Avicen.  they will come away by the roots. Radish, as Rhasis writeth, is hot and dry, 
Rhasis.  tareing long in the stomach, it maketh the juice subtle, and lifteth it up unto the mouth of the stomach, and so provoketh vomit. The leaves digest our meat, and provoke appetite in us, being received but in small quantity. And Isaac saith, that if they be eaten after meat they break wind, and by reason of their heaviness they make the meat to go down. And Dioscorides addeth, that the root being eaten with salt: 
Diosco.  increaseth milk, provoketh urine and the Flowers, & with a little grated Ginger put into an hollow tooth, assuageth the toothache presently. The Rape, after the judgement of Isaac is hot in the second degree, and moist in the first. It nourisheth more than all other herbs, yet is it hard of digestion, it maketh soft and foggy flesh, it stirreth unto company of women, & increaseth seed. Pliny in the second book writeth that the Rape being sodden, 
Pliny.  driveth cold out of the feet. And the commentary writer Auorrois, in the fift of his collections saith, that the Rape hath a marvelous force to clear the eye sight. Rue, as the learned Isaac reporteth, is good for concoction, because it hath the faculty to expel gross & clammy humours, it breaketh windiness, & moisteneth the belly. And Avicen saith, that it taketh away the loathsome savour of Garlic, leeks, & Onions, sharpeneth the sight, and taketh away the desire to women. Sage, after Diosc. provoketh the terms, & procureth abortion. The broth wherein the twigs and leaves are boiled repres the thoughts of lust, and motion to venery. The juice of the leaves maketh heir black. Macer saith thus of Sage: 
Macer.  If it be laid upon the bite: It heals the poisoned rankling quite. spinach and Succory are temperate, agreeable to the throat, Lungs, & stomach, the lenify the belly, & make very good nutriment. Todestooles, according to the doctrine of Rhasis, are cold & gross, & engender raw phlegm. Those of them which be read are nought, for if they be eaten they engender the colic, and at no time they must be eaten without warm sauces. Mus●hroms are far worse than Todestooles whereof some be stark poison, and will choke a man, & kill him presently. But the best of them engender phlegm. Isaac saith thus of them: 
Isaac.  by these tokens you shall know them that will kill men. They be soft, slimy, and gross, and being slit in the middle and let to lie so all a night: the next morning you shall find them rotten.   

Chap. 29. Of Fruits.  
THus by experience the noble Galen writeth of Fruits, my father, 
Galen.  saith he, had his health all his life time because he eat no fruits. And when he was dead I began to eat fruits, and by means thereof I fell into sundry, and long continuing diseases. And after that I abstained from rathe fruits, I had never any sickness saving an ague which held me one day. Then showed I the same unto my friends, and they that believed me abstained from rathe fruits, and in all their life time were never sick. This much of fruits in general.  
Figs, according to Rhasis, cleanse the kidneys from gravel, being green they breed wind in the belly, and they lose the same, and make indifferent good juice. If they be dry, they nourish much, and do heaten, the often use whereof engendereth the itch, and lice, and lose the belly being eaten before meat. 
Isaac.  Of whom moreover, mine author Isaac saith, in his second book, that if they meet with a stomach well cleansed from humours, they are then good of digestion, they engender good blood, cleanse the stomach, lungs, kidneys, and bladder if they be eaten fasting. Dates, saith he, are hot and make gross nutriment, and if they be eaten oftentimes they engender gross blood in the inner parts, they corrupt the teeth, and make steam and blood to abound. And in the second book Isaac saith, that Dates being hot and dry in the second degree, are better of digistion then Figs, & more provoking urine. But whoso accustometh himself unto them: shall feel an hard swelling in his Liver, & Spleen. raisins, as witnesseth Rhasis, 
Rhasis.  which are very sweet, are hot, but not so hot as Dates, neither so stopping as they are, they be windy and hurt much, they frank up the body suddenly, they also increase motion unto venery, and work to the erection of the yard. Those which have the thinnest skin, do soon descend, and breed less windiness, and the contrary do contrariwise. Those that are sour do not heaten, but being washed in cold water, and eaten before meat, do as it were extinguish heat. Sour grapes are cold, they bind the belly, and they repress blood and read choler.  
raisins are temperate in heat, which causing good nutriment, do breed no oppilation as Dates do, although they nourish stronger and in greater quantity.  
Pomegranates which are sweet, according to Rhasis, 
Rhasis.  do not cool, but puff up, and cause thirstiness, but they lenify the throat. The sour ones make the breast and throat rough, also they puff up the stomach and Liver, but always they moderate the heat of blood and read choler, 
Isaac.  they quench Fevers, and repress vomits. And Isaac saith, that Pomegranates are fit for medicine then for meat, for they yield but small nourishment, but it is good. It is the property of tart Pomegranates to extinguish the rage of humours, and to comfort the stomach. 
Rhasis  The juice dropped into their eyes that have the yellow Jandies taketh away the yellow colour.  
Quinces saith Rhasis, be they sweet or sour, they strengthen the stomach, but principally the sour, they provoke also a good appetite, and bind the belly. being eaten after meat, they make the ordure to descend quickly, and expel it out of the belly. And being eaten before meat they work the contrary effect. The sour ones are strongest in binding the belly.  
Pears after Galen being eaten before meat, do bind, 
Galen.  but after meat they lose the belly. Pears that are very sweet do not puff up, but they all bind the belly, unless they be eaten after meat. For being eaten after meat they drive the ordure forth, and then they strengthen the stomach.  
Isaac also saith, the sweet Pears are temperate, and if they be boiled with Musshroms they take away all their cleansing, especially if they be wild Pears, by reason of their tartness. Appels, after the judgement of Isaac: 
Isaac.  are cold, and because of their sourness do bind the more. And although they agree well with the mouth of the stomach: yet they fill it full of slimy humours. Avicen saith that Apples do comfort, especially those that smell sweet. Baked in a Pie they help the appetite, but the daily eating of them causeth overmutch heating of the sinews.  
Peaches, according to Avicen, if they be ripe: are good for the stomach, causing good concoction unto meat, but they may not be eaten after other meat, for they corrupt it, but rather before meat. If the Appels be dry they be hard of digestion, and although they nourish much yet are they not good. 
Isaac.  And Isaac saith, that the greater Peaches, if they be ripe they lose the belly, but otherwise they bind it. The less which are called in Latin Praecocia, and in English (as I think) Africoes, are wholesome for the stomach, and take away loathsomeness. Meddlers, saith he are cold and dry in the first degree, they comfort the stomach, and take away the flux of choler, and repress vomiting, they provoke urine, and being taken before meat they comfort the stomach the more, and hurt not the sinewnesse thereof. 
Diosc.  And Dioscorides writeth, that some say they help much the toothache if they be eaten while the teeth ache.  
The Pome Citron, after the opinion of Avicen, being pared and the rind eaten or chawed: 
Avicen.  maketh the mouth smell pleasantly. The sour juice being anointed killeth ringworms, the decoction drunken maketh a good colour, and fatteth the body. Mulberries which are ripe and sweet, as saith Isaac, lose the b●lly, are soon cast forth out of the stomach, and provoke urine. Being eaten fasting out of could water, they are very cooling, they quench thirst, and unnatural heat. Plums, likewise, saith he, are of two sorts. Some white, which are hard of digestion, and noisome to the stomach. The black of the garden, being ripe, moisten the stomach, and make soft the belly, and purge read choler. But if they be eaten overmutch: they hurt the stomach, but they do less hurt eaten before meat.  
Cherries also, as the same author writeth, are soon converted, they engender gross fleam and slimy with in the hollowness of the Liver and Spleen. And therefore engender long agues, and are very evil every way. The best time to eat them is before meat, for when they be eaten upon a full stomach, they flit above, and turn to putrefaction.  
Almonds, according to Rhasis, are temperate in heat, 
Rhasis  which although they make the throat smooth, yet are they heavy in the stomach, and tarry long there, they open oppilations, and assuage the burning of the urine, and being eaten with sugar: augment seed of generation.  
The bitter Almonds, according to Isaac's judgement, 
Isaac.  are hot and dry in the end of the second degree, they cleanse, scour, and comfort, they move urine, and dissolve gross and clammy humours, by means whereof they cleanse the breast and Lungs from fleagmatick humours, and release the oppilations of the Liver and Spleen.  
Nuts likewise, saith the same author, in a choleric person, and one that hath a hot stomach: are soon turned into choleric vapours ascending into the head, causing the pain and giddiness thereof. But if a man would correct them and make them good, he must crack them, and blanch them, and lay them a steep a whole night in water, that they may get some moisture.  
Dioscorides sayeth, that two Nuts, and two dry Figs, 
Diosco.  and twenty leaves of Rue, or Herb Grace, and one grain of Salt pounded together, and being eaten fasting: keepeth a man from infection of Poison, or Pestilence.  
The Fildbeards, after Rhasis, 
Rhases.  are not so hot as the other Nuts are, but are heavier, and are good against the stinging of Scorpions. And Serapion saith of them, that if Fildbeards be roasted with a little Pepper and eaten, they ripen the Catarrh or Rheum.  
Cheastnuts, as Constantinus writeth, are windy, 
Serapion.  they move to the act of the flesh, they yield much nutriment, they are hard of digestion, and therefore according unto the counsel of Isaac, 
Isaac.  they must be roasted, that their evil faculty may be thereby amended, and their substance rarefied. Then do they assuage the dryness of the breast and all the body, and moderate the difficulty of making water. The acorn also according to the same author, being disobedient unto digestion, bindeth the belly, but provoketh urine, and they do nourish. Beaten into powder, and the powder laid upon the vulva: drieth up the rotten humours that use to haunt and hurt the same.   

Cap. 30. Of Spices.  

Rhas●●.  PEpper, by the authority of Rhasis, helpeth to concoct the meat well, and dissolveth windiness, and being very hot: heateth the stomach and liver, and hurteth hot bodies especially in Summer. Ginger also, according to the same Author is hot and moist, and in helping concoction is profitable for those whose stomachs and Livers are cold. It amendeth the dimness of sight rising of moisture, 
Avicen.  and as Avicen writeth, it augmenteth the memory, and cleanseth the moisture, of the head, and throat.  

Constan.  Zeadoarie, according to the same Avicen, is a treacle or preservative against all poisons, and as saith Constantinus, if consumeth the swelling by wind, and comforteth the stomach: it provoketh the appetite, taketh away that stinking of the mouth through eating garlic, 
Macro.  and according to Macrobius, assuageth the heat of the wine which we have drunken. Galingale likewise, 
Auic.  as writeth Avicen, is hot and dry, it resolveth windiness, maketh the mouth savour well, helpeth the stomach, concocteth the meat, augmenteth defier to women, and cureth the pain of the kidneys. Cloves also, saith he, are hot and dry in the their degree, they make the body smell well, they sharpen the sight, they comfort the stomach and Liver. cinnamon, 
Rhasis.  after▪ the opinion of Rhasis: is hot and dry, which in strengthening much helpeth the stomach, & liver, it causeth good concoction, 
Isaac.  and expelleth windiness. Also, saith Isaac, it openeth oppilations, and provoketh the terms. Saffron likewise, saith he, being hot and dry in the first degree: 
Isaac.  comforteth the stomach, openeth the stopping of the Liver, helpeth them that are shortwinded, and comforteth the weak parts. And Rhasis thus speaketh of Saffron in his Almansor. 
Almansor.  A certain woman, saith he, was very long in labour of child bed, and could not be delivered. And I gave unto her one dram of Saffron, and immediately she was delivered, and this have I tried often. And being drunken in wine, it is of singular force to make one merry. 
Plini.  Pliny in his second book saith: whoso drinketh Saffron first, 
Lib. 2.  shall not feel any surfeit: and a crown made thereof and put upon the head, releaseth drunkenness. Caraways, 
Constantinus.  according unto Constantine is hot and dry in the third degree, it dissolveth wind, it strengtheneth the stomach, it killeth worms, it helpeth concoction, and provoketh urine.   

Chap. 31. Of Certain Sauces.  
MUstard is hot and dry in the mids of the fourth degree, it drieth up the moisture of the head and stomach. 
Avicen.  And Avicen writeth, some say (quoth he) that if one that is fasting drink it, it maketh a good understanding, and it cleanseth the humours of the head. And Pliny saith in the second book, 
Pliny.  that mustardseed prepared with vinegar, driveth forth gravel. Salt, saith Rhasis, is hot and dry, it taketh loathsomeness from meats, and maketh the taste sharp, and it provoketh the appetite. But whoso eateth salt in any great quantity, it causeth much adustion in the blood: it weakeneth the eye sight, it diminisheth natural seed, and engendereth the itch. Venigre, according to the same author, is cold and dry, making a man lean, & weakening the powers, it diminisheth the seed, it strengtheneth Melancholy, and weakeneth read choler and blood, and maketh the meat subtle and fine wherewith it is received. Honey, 
Isaac.  as saith Isaac in the second book is hot and dry in the second degree, it taketh away the cause why the body cannot be nourished, and altereth the evil disposition unto better, and expelleth the abundance of evil humours out of the pores, and cleanseth the filth of the veins, and therefore is very agreeable unto them that are cold and moist of Nature, and unto old men. And unto hot complexions it is as poison, for it is soon converted into choler. If it be turned into the warmness of blood, it maketh it the warmer. So that Honey being eaten raw: engendereth windiness, and maketh a man to swell, breedeth the roughness of the throat, and provoketh unto vomit and siege.  
Oil Olive, as Plinius writeth in the fourth book, maketh every body soft which it toucheth, 
Plini.  giveth force and strength, restraineth all manner of poisons, driveth away pain, looseth the belly, cleanseth the face, appeaseth the swelling, cleareth the eyesight, helpeth the headache, and assuageth the heat of Fevers. 
Rhasis.  The Oil of Nuts, saith Rhasis, is very hot and dissolving, and according unto Avicen, it is good against the ringworm, inflammations, 
Avicen.  and pustles in any part of the eye. The Oil of Almonds, after Rhasis, is temperate, and is good for the Breast, 
Rhasis  Lungs, Bladder, and Kidneys, but if it be eaten it breedeth lothsumnesse, and departeth slowly out of the Stomach. And, as saith Dioscorides, if it be mingled with Honey: it taketh away that spots in the face, 
Diosco.  & maketh smooth the scars where wounds have been, it cleanseth the mistines of the eyes, and taketh away the scales from the skin.  
Oil of Poppy is to be judged of, according to the nature of Poppy, whereof we entreated in the Chapter last going before. And thus endeth the first Book, the contents whereof I have gathered out of the best approved Authors.  
¶ FINIS.    

¶ The second book of Table Philosophy, which speaketh of the manners, behaviour, and usedge, of all such with whom we may happen to be conversant at the TABLE.  

The Preface.  
Having ended the discourse concerning the Nature of Meats and Drinks, which are set before us upon the Table, it followeth now, that we say somewhat touching the Manners and conditions of whom we be matched at the Board. For as saith Macrobius in the third Book of his Saturnalia: There is no part of wisdom so great, as to apply a man's talk to the place, and time, having a regard to the estimation and calling of those that are present. For some will be encouraged with examples of Virtue, other with good turns, and some with the commendation of Modesty, that such as have used themselves otherwise, and hearing the same: may amend their lives. And therefore as touching them with whom we be set at the Table, I will say somewhat out of the ancient Records of our Elders, beginning with the most worthy personages.   

Chap. 1. ¶ Of emperors.  
ANd first to speak of Emperors, how that some of that excellent calling have been very frugal & sparing at their Board, 
Sueton●▪ lib. 3.  as Suetonius in the third Book of the lives of the. 12. Emperors, writeth of julius Caesar, saying that he drank very little Wine, which thing his enemies could not deny, and was indifferent about the residue of his diet. Upon a time when at the Table the good man of the house where he supped, had set before him old preserved Oil that was rank & stolen, in the steed of new and sweet, when other in company refused it, he only eat it greedily, for that he would not seem to reprove him that had invited him to supper, either of little good manner or covetousness. The same Author also saith of Augustus, that he was a man of small feeding, and drunk but very little wine, for he used not to drink thereof above thrice at a meal. Neither used he commonly to drink Wine, but when he was dry he would dip a sop of bread in fair cold water, or eat the slices of a Cucumber, or of a green mellow Apple, whose taste were tart, or somewhat like unto wine. In the jeastes of the Romans it is written, that the Emperor Augustus was a very small feeder. For he would eat common bread, and little fishes, or cruddes made of Cowmilke which he would wring in his hand, or green Figs which he liked well, and these things would he eat in every place, and when so ever his Appetite served.  

Helinan.  Helinandus in his Book of the institutions of Princes, saith that julius caesar, 
Lib. 3 de insti.  committed his Baker to prison, because he gave him better bread at his Table, than he gave to the residue of his Soldiers. Suetonius also in his work before alleged, 
Suetonius.  writeth of the Emperor Tiberius, that at his first coming to the Empire he was very frugal and moderate, but afterward he grew so glouttenous, and given to the belly: that in steed of Tiberius he was called Biberius, for Claudius Caldius, for Nero, Mero, that is to say, one over much given to wine. And upon a time spending two whole days and nights with Pomponius Flacchus, & Piso: for a reward, he gave unto the one the government of the Province of Syria, and to the other the lieutenantship of the same. He liked better of one that presented him with a Musshrom and a kind of Bird called Ficedula, then if it had been a greater matter.  

Eg●sippus  It is also written of the Emperor Vitellius, by Egesippus in his fourth Book of the destruction of Iherusalem. When he knew there was secret wait laid for him, 
Lib. 4.  in the mean time he gave himself to feasting and garmandize, because he would not loose the famous ignominy of the shame that hung over him. He was drawn from the banquet, he was contemptuously insulted upon, and slain in the midst of the City, at one time together, both shedding his blood and vomiting his surfeat, who if he had lived any longer: would have devoured the treasure of the Roman Empire in riot, and banqueting. To conclude, he had reigned but eight Months and five days, and yet Rome was able no longer to serve his belly.   

Ghap. 2. Of kings  
FRrontinus in his fourth book and third chapter of warlike Policies, reporteth how that Alexander king of Macedonia, 
Frontinus.  was used to eat of such bread as he found while he travailed upon the way. 
Lib. 4.  Also in the fourth book and seven. chapter, he writeth in this manner. Alexander king of Macedonia, travailing by great journeys through the deserts of Africa, both he and all his army being greatly athirst, a soldier offered him a draft of water in a Salad, which in presence of them all he powered on the ground, deserving more praise by that example, then if he had drunk it. Helinandus in the place before recited, 
Helinand.  telleth how that Piso desiring Romulus to supper, and perceiving how little wine he had drunk at that meal: O Romulus, if every man would do as thou dost, wine would be better cheap. Nay (quoth he) it would be dearer if every man might drink what he would. Valerius Max. in his fift book and sixth chapter, 
Valerius Max.  writeth that king Alexander upon a time being repulsed from some purpose by a tempest in the winter, beholding an old Macedonian soldier quaking and benumbed with could, and himself sitting in his regal seat by a good fire: 
Note.  even with those hands wherewith he was wont to bestow liberal rewards, he took the old man that was crooked and doubled with cold, and set him in his own place. What marvel was it then if it were pleasant unto them to serve so many years under that captain, which esteemed more of the goodhealth of a common soldier, than he did of his own dignity? In the same place it is also written, that Pyrrhus the king, said that certain Tarentines had talked of him very broad, and undutiful language at a banquet. Then demanded he of one of the company, whether they had any such talk or not? yea truly said he, we had so indeed, and unless our wine had failed us these had been but trifles in respect of that we would have spoken. So pleasant an excuse of their rioting, & so frank confession of the truth, turned the kings wrath into laughter. By using of which clemency he obtained this much, that his Subjects the Tarentines thanked him when they were sober, and prayed for him when they were drunken.   

Chap. 3. Of Princes.  

Plutrach.  PLutrach of the institutions of Princes, citeth the authority of Plato, which saith thus: when Potentates oppress their subjects, it is like as if the head of a body should swell to such hugines, that the other parts were able scarcely, or not at all, to bear it, but with great pain. Likewise when the higher powers do hate and persecute the subjects, it is like as if the tutor should pursue his pupil to slay him with the sword which he gave him to defend him against others. 
Helinan.  Hel●nandus in his book of the institution of Princes saith, that a Prince should do as the Physician doth, which never giveth extreme medicines, but when he seeth that gentle potions will never recover the patients health. Unto which purpose said Lucius very well, 
Lucius.  that it behoved a Prince to be an old man in manners, & to follow ripe and wise counsel, and to imitate the order of good Physicians, which sometime cure by filllnge that which is empty in spare bodies, & sometime by emptying that which aboundeth to much in full bodies, aswaging the grief many times with hot burning irons, & often with fomentations, and sometime otherwise, unto which intent he setteth down these verses: 
To punish let a Prince be slow, and quick to give reward:  
And let it grieve him when he is constrained to be hard.   

Aristotle.  Aristotle in the third of the Politics writeth thus: whoso would have wit and understanding to govern (saith he) it seemeth he would have God and the laws to govern: but whoso will have a man of himself without these to govern, putteth a very savage beast in authority. For when rage and lust bear sway, then good men go to wrack, so that understanding without affection is as good as a written law. Likewise Vegetius in his first book and first chapter of the art of war, it is decent for a Prince (saith he) that no man know more things nor better things than he, for his knowledge may profit all his subjects, and for that cause Princes aught to apply themselves to the study of wisdom.   

Chap. 4 Of the Gentle Bishops.  
VAlerius in his fift Book and fift chapter, writeth of Horatius Puluillus, who being bishop, 
Valerius.  and as he was after the guise at those days, consecrating a great Church unto jupiter, while he was pronouncing the solemn words, & holding the post in his hand: word was brought unto him that his sun was dead: he neither plucked his hand from the post, neither changed his countenance from the public religion to his private sorrow, because he would not seem at that present to sustain rather the person of a Father, then of a bishop. In the same place likewise he writeth of Xenophon, who being offering a very solemn sacrifice, it was told him that his eldest sun was slain. Then did he only put of the crown from his head, demanding of the messenger in what sort he was slain. And understanding that he was killed fighting very valiantly: he put the crown upon his head again, showing that he took more joy of his valiancy, than he did grief of his untimely death. S. Jerome in the second book against jovinian, 
Jerome.  writeth that Zenon that Stoic reporteth of the lives of the ancient priests of Egypt, how that setting all worldly care and business apart, they always remained in the Church, searching the hid natures of things, & observing the motions of the stars They never companied with their wives, nor any woman, nor never saw their children nor kinsfolks after the once they betook themselves to divine service. They abstained from eating flesh & drinking wine, chiefly to avoid the motion to the flesh, which cometh by those meats, & the drink. They did seldom eat bread, but they used oil both to drive away loathsomeness, and to take away the roughness of their throats. What shall I speak of fowls, seeing they eschewed eggs and milk as flesh, whereof they said the one was liquid flesh, and the other blood, the colour only being changed. They laid a footstool under their heads in steed of a pillow, 
Aristole.  and fasted two or three days together. And Aristotle in the seventh of his Politics: the Priests saith he, have charge of allthings appertaining to the God, and to see that houses be kept up tied in reparations, and those which be fallen down may be builded up again, and that others be appointed unto their purposes, and for this cause they be had in reverence. Sum of these Bishops are termed by one man, Princes, by an other Kings, sum call them Potestates, Provosts, and Masters. See then if the Priests and bishops of the Gentiles, were so religious, continent, and holy: what aught our Christian Bishops to be?   

Chap. 4. Of noble Personages.  

Tully  TVllie in his book of old age, writeth that when a certain man in reproach said unto Themistocles, that he had no honour of himself, but that all his estimation came unto him by reason of his country: surely, said Themistocles, if I were Seresius I should be but a varlet, and if thou were an Athenian thou wouldst never have been of any estimation.  

Cecilius.  Cecil●us Balbus, of the toys of Philosophers writeth: that when one a time one being borne of the race of a Senator and at that present much embased, objected to Epaminundas the vil●nes of his birth: I am glad (quoth he) that I am risen of myself, and thou art fallen of thyself, and we both together are honour and dishonour.  

Sallust.  Sallust in the Oration of Marius against jugurth, when one 〈◊〉 ●ery much in his own conceit in respect of his own 〈◊〉 and therefore reproached Marius baseness: although (saith h●●) we have one nature common unto us all, that eue●●● 〈◊〉 ma●, if he can, be most valiant and most noble, yet if there ●● an● man that despice-me, let them do that which is a agreeable to their manners, since the exercise of virtuous exploits, is the very beginning of mine honour. They envy at mine honour, let them also envy at my pains, and mine innocency, and my travels, and my dangers, for by these have I won it. Now see (I beseech you) how unjust they be, they will not suffer me to get that by mine own virtue, which they boast in themselves to have been gotten by another. And because I have no images, and my Nobility is new and now first risen in myself, which better it is to get first, then to dishonour it being once gotten before. As for me, in my judgement, there can no man's talk hurt me. For if they speak ill of me, my behaviour shall declare their report to be false. The Spear and Shield, ensign, Barbed Armour for the Courser, with other rewards of the Field, and scars in the fore part of my body, these are my Images, this is my Nobility, not left unto me by inheritance as theirs is, but gotten by mine own adventures and travail. 
Juvenal.  And Juvenal the Poet saith very well.  
I rather had Thersites sun thou were, so that thou might  
Like Pyrrhus bear Vulcanus Arms in midst of Martial fight.  
Then if Achillus should beget one like Thersites foul,  
A dastard wretch, that could do nought, but prattle, scold & skoule.  
And Albertus upon the first Book of the Ethics saith, 
Albertus.  how it is read, that the Emperor of Rome Dioclesian, who governed that Empire very valiantly, was taken from among shéeperds. And he is a right Gentleman, saith Seneca, 
Senica.  that is naturally disposed unto virtue.   

Chap. 5. Of Knights.  
VAlerius Maximus in the third Book and second Chapter, 
Vale. Ma.  writeth of a Knight that was Captain of a band under Augustus, and had given many a sharp shower unto Antonius, and went away evermore with the better hand. At length being taken by treason, and brought prisoner to Alexandria, Antonius asked him what he should do to him? Then the Knight, said command me to be slain (quoth he) for neither with hope of life, nor fear of death will I be persuaded, to forsake Caesar and serve thee. Howbeit, the more constantly he despised his life, so much the more easily he obtained it. For Antonius pardoned his life for his virtuous sake. 
Frontinus.  Frontinus in the fourth book and first chapter of his warlike policies, reporteth, that when Flaccus and Varro were Consuls than were Knights first dubbed, and admitted unto that order by an oath, for before they were governed by the Tribunes. The tenor of their oath was after this sort, that they would never depart one from another, nor break their array in the field, unless it were either to recover their weapon or to strike the enemy, or to save a citizen.  

Helinand.  And our Knights, saith Helinandus, march forth into the wars as it were to a wedding, for at Feasts they talk of Arms, and in the tents they speak of feasts. The art of warfare, 
Valerius.  saith Valerius, in the second book and first chapter, being earnestly followed, brought the whole Empire of Italy in subjection to the Romans. And got them the soverainity of many cities, puissant kings, and most valiant kingdoms. That same opened unto them the bosom of the sea, and broke up the straits and passedges over the Alpes, and Mount Taurus, and delivered them into their hands. And Clearchus, Captain of the Lacedæmonians, saith the same acthour, was wont to say often, beating it into the soldiers ears, that soldiers should stand more in fear of their Captain then of their enemies.   

Chap. 7. Of squires.  

Vegetius.  VEgetius in the first book and fourth chapter, saith, that the things which are learned in childhood are not learned very speedily, but they are retained very perfectly. And moreover the nimbleness which belongeth to a Soldier, as in leaping and running, is oftentimes to be exercised, that the body wax not unwieldy with age. For it is Swiftness and nimbleness, which are gotten with daily exercise, that make a good soldier. For unto him that is so trained up it shallbe no fear to encounter with any enemy, but rather a pleasure.  
And again in the same work and third chapter he saith thus: I doubt not, saith he, that any man can be of another opinion but that the common husbandman is fittest for the wars, that can abide to toil in the sun and open air, careth not for the shadow, knoweth not the baynes nor hothouse, is ignorant of delicacies, 
Note.  plain meaning, content with a little, able to abide all pains, to bear armour, to ditch, or cast a trench, and of custom to carry great burdens, not fearing the Sun or the Dust. Wherefore, meeseemeth we must for the most part take all our force out of the country, for me thinks he must needs care less for death that never felt any pleasure or sweetness in his life, and therefore such are to be trained up in the wars.  
Likewise in the first book and first chapter, we see, saith he, that the people of Rome conquered all the world be none other means then by exercise of the mind, by discipline of the field, and daily practise of chivalry, whereby they rose to that greatness. And when we choose new soldiers, we must choose nimble men, and furnish them with daily practise, for the knowledge of the order of the wars maketh a man bold to fight. For no man willbe a feared to do that which he knoweth that he hath learned to do perfectly. And when they come to the battle, the small band that is well trained, is most like to have the victory. The rude and unskilful multitude lieth always open unto slaughter.  
And Frontinus in the fourth book, & second chapter, 
Frontinus. lib. 4. ca 2.  writeth thus: Alexander King of Macedonia, saith he, with a few soldiers well trained, which his father Philip left behind him, setting upon the whole world: slew innumerable armies of his enemies.   

Chap. 8. Of warriors.  

Aristotle.  AS the noble Philosopher Aristotle writeth, in the seventh of his Politics, many cities have flourished by making war, but when they had once obtained the sovereignty; through peace they fell to decay, as iron gathereth rust with lying still. Valerius in the second book, and sixth chapter, writeth, 
Valerius.  that Laelius Atticus Dentatus was an hundredth and twenty times in battle, unto which he always went with such courage of mind and force of body, that he seemed ever to presume of the victory. The same author also reporteth that there was one which cut of the fingers of his left hand, because he would not go into the Italian war. Then by the decree of the Senate his goods were openly sold, and himself cast into perpetual prison, enforcing him to yield up that ghost most loathsomely in chains, which he refused valiantly to venture in the field. 
Frontinus.  Frontinus in the first book, and ninth chapter reporteth, that one Servius being a young man, and present in the battle which king Tarqvinius fought against the Sabines, perceiving those that were about the Standards to fight very slowly: snatched away one of the Standards and threw it amongst the mids of the enemies. To recover which, the Romans fought so sharply: that they obtained both standard, and victory. He telleth moreover of Macillius which was Consul, and at the war which the Romans made against the Samnites, who perceiving the soldiers fleeing out of the battle towards their tents: bent the force of his own band which he led, against them: swearing, that he would fight against good Citizens if they would not fight against their enemies, and by that means brought them all again into the battle.   

Chap. 9 Of Philosophers, and Orators.  

Architarentinus.  ARchitarentinus in the sixth book, writeth, that when on a time Aristippus the Socration Philosopher being thrown into the sea by shipwreck was cast a land at the shore of Rhodes, and found there certain Geometrical figures and demonstrations drawn in the sands: he cried aloud joyfully unto his Mates, let us be of good cheer Mates (quoth he) for I see here the foot steps of men. And forthwith he entered into the city of Rhods, where disputing in their schools with professors of Philosophy, he was rewarded with many costly gifts, wherewith he not only appayrelled himself, but also all that were with him, and bore their charges sufficiently for meat and drink. And when his Mates, being willing to return into their own country, demanded of him what service he would command them home: tell my country men (quoth he) that I wish they should prepare such possessions and inheritances for their children, as if they chanced to escape shipwreck, might escape with them, and not be taken away neither by violence of conquest, neither by change of fortune, nor by any other adversity. Behold here a Philosophical and wholesome document, moving men more to the study of learning and wisdom, then to heaping up of Money. In the old time when cities wear in peace, saith Eustacius upon the first book of the Ethics, the noblemen and politic governors, provided of the common charge, 
Eustacius.  for such as were students in Philosophy, that they should be void of all cares and troubles, and only apply themselves unto contemplation. 
Hermes.  Hermes surnamed Trismegistus in his second book of Constellations, reporteth that Politinus the Philosopher, being, as it were, made unto all ornaments of virtue, to the intent he might express that which he taught by his own example, and not by any others, and to a voided all the insults of Fortune: chose him a secret place of rest, where he was far from the trouble of human conversation only bestowing his time in divine contemplations. And first he contemned all titles of honour, accounting those to be the true honours which by perfection of wisdom he had gotten. He coveted after no worldly thing, but judged that to be the true riches, namely whereby a garnished mind may find out the original of it own authority. 
Aristotle.  Aristotle in the Secrets of secrets, asketh th●● question, what (saith he) hath so advanced the Empire of the Greeks to be perpetually renowned over all the world? Surely that did the diligence of students, and the virtue of the wisemen which loved knowledge, and science above all measure.  

Aulus. Gellius.  Aulus Gellius in his book of the Nights of Athens, writeth, that it is one of the greatest points of commendation which was in Philip king of Macedonia, father unto Alexander the Great, that he caused him whom he thought should be his heier, to be delivered in charge unto the most excellent Philosopher Aristotle, to be instructed in wisdom, and learning. And, saith Seneca, in that world, which men commonly call the golden world, Posidonius affirmeth that wise men governed kingdoms, these contained their hands from other mens goods, and defended the weak from the more mighty, they persuaded men from dishonesty unto honesty, and through their wisdom they declared what was profitable, and what otherwise.   

Chap 10. Of Physicians.  
ISidorus in the third chapter of his etymologies, writeth, that Apollo is reported to be the first finder out of Physic among the Greeks. 
Isidor.  Which his Sun Esculapius brought more into the light, who was stricken with a tempest of lightning and so died, and by that means both the art and the author perished together, and lay unknown the space of fivehundred years, unto the time of Artaxerxes king of the Persians, at what time it was revived again by Hypocrates, sun to As●ulapius.  
Valerius writeth, that when Alexander king of Maced●nia fell sick at Tharsis, 
Valerius.  Philip the Physician made him a potion with his own hands, and ministered it unto him. For this Philip was both an Earl, and a Physician. And while he was thus attendant upon the king, there were certain letters received and opened, written to this effect, That the king should take heed of Philip, as one of corrupted by Darius to poison him. But so soon as the king had read the letters, without any staying he drank of the Medicine, and delivered them unto Philip to read, for which good opinion of his trusty friend and Physician, he received of the Gods an immortal reward. Howbeit I wot very well, that Quintus Cur●ius in the history of Alexande● the great, 
Quin. cur.  telleth this story otherwise, namely, how that Alexander returning from Babylon, and spending long time in rest and idleness, he renewed the solemnity of Feasting and banqueting, which of long time he had omitted, and thus in a jollity he spent an whole day and a night, when Thessalus his physician invited him and his companions again to drinking a fresh. And taking the Pot in his hand, when he had drunk, as it were, half a draft, he suddenly stayed in the mids and cried out: and his friends reported that same to be the cause of his death. But the truth is, there was Treason wrought against him, the infamy whereof was covered by the punishment of his successors. And in deed Antipater was chéeif of the conspiracy, and gave the poison unto him. Thus died Alexander in the xii. yeère of his reign, his traitorous nobles falsely accusing his faithful Physician of poisoning him.   

Chap. 11. Of youngemen.  
MAcrobius in his fourth book of Saturnalia, reporteth, how that Papirius when he was but a child, 
Macrobius.  came into the counsel court with his Father. And when he returned home, his mother demanded of him what his Father had done or said in the Senate counsel. The child answered, that he might not tell. But when his Mother threatened to beat him unless he would declare it: immediately he devised a fine & pleasant lie to stop his mother's mouth withal, saying, that it was disputed in the Counsel house, whether it were more expedient for man to have two wives, or for a woman to have two husbans. This news told she immediately unto other Matrons & gossips of her acquaintance. And the next day there came a great flock of them to the Counsel house, desiring the honourable assembly, the one woman might rather have two husbands, than one man ii wives The Senators wondringe at that straying request: marveled at their so unreasonable, and dishonest importuniti. Then the child resolved the Senate of that doubt, she wing them what he had told his mother. The Senate embraced the child's wit and faithfulness, and made an Act, that hereafter there should no children come into the Senate with their fathers, but he only.  

Vale.  Valerius also in the sixth Book and fift Chapter, writeth of Manlius Torquatus, that while he was young: he was of so blunt and dull a wit, that his father judging him never like to be profitable member to govern in the common wealth, sent him into the country to follow husbandry. But afterward he delivered his father from danger of judgement. And likewise his country in the tumult among the Latins, which was well-nigh consumed in the conflict, and obtained therefore a most excellent triumph. 
Valerius.  I suppose, saith Valerius, that he was embased with this blemish of Fortune in his youth, whereby the excellency of his old age might appear more beautiful.  
And again in the same place he saith, Scipio surnamed Affricane, whom the Gods would have to be borne to the intent all virtue should be effectually expressed unto men in him, is reported to have spent thriftily his younger years, but farthest of all other from suspicion of lascivious dissoluteness.  

Fabi▪ Max  And this also saith he, hath Fabius Maximus pu●●●ased unto his posterity, that there was never any of better fame than he while he was young, neither did our City of Rome ever bring forth one that in his age was of greater honour and estimation.   

Chap. 12 Of old Men.  

●ro. pom.  TRogus Pompeius in his second Book, writeth of Alexander the great, that on a time when he was going forth in a dangerous expedition: he levied his army not of Cutters and lusty youths, but of such ancient soldiers as had served his father and his country in foretimes, to the intent he might have no common soldiers, but rather teachers of Chivalry about him. He made no Captains but men of threescore year old, so that no man thought of fleeing, but of having that victory. And Valerius speaking of the old Romans, 
Valerius.  ssith in those days young men honoured old age, as though all old men had been their fathers. Cicero in his Book of old age, 
Cicero.  reporteth, that in a certain controversy when Pisistratus the tyrant demanded of Solon, for what cause he durst resist him so boldly, he answered, because of mine old age.  
josephus in the first book of Antiquities: 
joseph.  Let no man (saith he) think that to be false which is written concerning the long living of our forefathers in the old time. For in respect of their virtues, and the singular profits which they devised for mankind, as are the Arts of Geometry, Astronomy, and such like: GOD enlarged the term of their life, for else they could never have come unto that perfection in them. It is read in the chronicles, that about the year of our Lord a thousand an hundred twenty nine, joannes de temporibus which lived in the time of Charles the Main, and whose Squire he was, died.  
Papius in the beginning of his Roman history, 
Papius.  writeth that the same Romulus which builded the City of Rome, and called it after his own name, chose into his counsel an hundred Senators whose advice he might use in all matters, whom by reason of their years, and for the likeness of the charge, he called Fathers.   

Chap. 13 Of Citizens.  
ARistotle in the third book of his Politics defineth a City after this manner. 
Aristotle.  A City (saith he) is an unity of those that be like, meeting together to live in happy society. And felicity is a certain treasure surpassing all other things, and the very exercise of all virtues. And these be the things without which there can be no City, for why the life of man requireth many necessaries. The first is food, than Arts, next weapons to subdue the disobedient: the fourth store of money: the fift instructions in religion whom they call Priests: the sixth a company of Judges to confer together what is right and what not, & if any of these be lacking it is no perfect city. And therefore there must needs be Husbandmen to prepare Victuales, handicrafts men, Warriors, ritchmen, Priests and judges. And moreover (he saith) whoso hath ability to participate or communicate, that is to give or take counsel, to rule or to be ruled: the same is a perfect Citizen.  
Likewise Citizens aught to agree and not to fall out, for as saith Orosius in the second Book of his Orchmestra, 
Orosius.  the most wise Citizens of Athens, being taught by their own harms, have said that small things grow greater by concord, and great things are destroyed by disagreement, and whatsoever was done well or ill in their Commonwealth, their Domestical contention at home, and their continual warring abroad subverted all, whereby they left to their posterity an example of ruin with small hope of recovery, but yet a most certain lesson to learn, that it is good to follow that counsel in prosterytie, which seemeth best unto us when we were in adversity.  

Vitarbius.  Vitarbius in his work of Architecture or Building, writeth that the Temple of Mars was builded without the walls of the City, because their should be no bloody dissension among the Citizens, but their force should serve them to defend their walls in time of war.   

Chap. 14 Of Merchants.  

Valerius.  VAlerius in his seventh Book and fourth chapter, maketh mention of one Claudius Centimmalus, who having an House standing very high upon the top of the hill Celius in Rome: was commanded by the College of Soothsayers, to take down somewhat of the height thereof, for that it hindered somedeal the perfect view of their Southsayinge. But he immediately sold it unto Calphurnius Lavarius. Then Cato being a man of great integrity, condemned the seller in the law, for that he told not faithfully to the bier both the commodities and discommodities like to ensue of the purchase, which he aught to have done.  
Likewise, the same Author in the first Book and second Chapter, writeth, how that in the Prenestine Siege it fortuned that one which caught a Mouse, sold him to another for two hundred Pennies, such was the scarcytie of victuales there. But it chanced not long after that he which sold it died for hunger himself, and he that bought it escaped alive. The like Example is reported by Frontinus, 
Frontinus,  of the Casseline Siege.  
Aristotle in the first of the Politics writeth, 
Aristotle.  that upon a time a certain man reproachfully cast Millesius in the teeth that he was a Beggar, as though Philosophy were a knowledge unprofitable to itself, and in no respect beneficial to the Professors thereof. Then Millesius perceiving by the judgement of Astronomy, that the next year there would be but very few Olives, in the Winter while there was great store he gave Money in earnest unto the Fruiterers and Masters of gardens in Miletum and Tyrus, upon a price for all their Olives the year following, as though he disinherited not but that there would be great store. But when the time came, and there were indeed but few, and many called for them, he sold them all suddenly together, making what price he list, and by that means gathering a great sum of Money, declared thereby how easy a matter it is for Philosophers to be rich when they list, but riches is not the thing that they seeks for.  
In the same place it is also set down that in the isle of Sicil a certain Merchant suddenly bought up all the Iron that was there about, or that was to be gotten out of the Mines. afterward there came straying Merchants unto the mart, and no man sold Iron but he only, not much raising the price, but of every five Talentes he gained ten Pennies, reserving unto himself a compotent profit. But Dionysius the Tyrant took his goods from him, and would not suffer him (as a finder out of wealth, which thing was much against his profit) to dwell any longer in siracusis. For as the expositor saith upon that place, tyrants may not abide to have their subjects rich.   

Chap. 15. Of husbandmen and Husbandry.  
IN the commendation of husbandry, Orosius in the seventh book saith, 
Orosius.  that in the three hundred fourscore and eleven year, after the building of the city of Rome, Quintus Cincinatus, which was Distator, was found in the country, and taken from the plough, and taking the honour upon him, and mustering his Army: obtained a great conquest over his enemies. And Valerius writeth, 
Valerius  that they which were sent unto Astilius to come take the whole government of the army upon him, found him in the fields going after the plough tail, sowing of corn. Howbeit those hands which were worn with exercise of husbandry, established the sure welfare of the commonwealth, and vanquished hugy armies of raging enemies. And those hands which not long before guided the yokes of the drawing Oxen, held then the reigns of the triumphant charet.  
And Plinius in the xviii. book of the history of nature, it is the saying of Marcus Curius, 
Pliny.  saith he, that thesame is a naughty Citizen, that cannot be sufficed to live with seven acres of land. What was the cause then that they had such plenty? Forsooth their generals, and governors tilled the land with their own hands, and the ground rejoiced at a Laureate share, and a triumphant ploughman. And look with what diligence they went into the wars: with thesame they tilled their fields. And ordered their land with as much care, as they did their Camps. Many times captains, yea, and whole Senates have been fet out of the country. And now bondslaves till thesame ground, and damned hands, and proscribed countnances.  

Valerius  Valerius in the seventh book and tenth chapter, telleth of Valerius corvinus, how he being an hundred year old, 
Vale.  and in good strength of body, left beehind him not only a wished example of dealing in Public functions, but also in tilling the land, and all manner husbandry.  
And Noble Cicero in the fift of his offices saith, 
Cicero.  that among all trades, whereby a man may live: there is none to be preferred before husbandry, nothing sweeter, or more plentiful, nor fit for a gentleman.   

Chap. 16. Of handicrafts men.  
ARistotle in his book entitled secrets of secrets, 
Aristotle.  showeth of the wonderful operation of the influence of the Planets in the natures of men and other things, by that which happened unto a child the sun of the king of India. For when the child his sun was grown to some years, the king would have had him brought up in learning, for which intent he sent him throughout all India and other Provinces adjacent, very honourably accompanied, as it was beesittinge for the sun of such a Prince. But the father's diligence profited him nothing at all, for why, the child's disposition could not be brought unto any other thing, but to be an handicrafts man. Wherewith the king being much troubled in his mind, sent for all the wise men of his Realm to come unto him, and when he had told them that the cause why he sent for them was to know their opinions, concerning his sun: They answered him, that he should apply him to that where to he was most inclined, and so he did. In the same place also he telleth of a certain weaver that had a sun, whose nativity foreshowed that he should be a great wise man, full of grave counsel, and in favour with Princes. And when his father would have instructed him in his own art of weaving: he could not learn it. Then did he whip him, and beaten him and gave him up unto his own will, and the b●y joining himself unto learned men, obtained knowledge, and understanding of the heavenly motions, and of the government of Princes, and at length was made one of the kings Counsellors Macrobius telleth in the second of his Saturnalia, 
Macrob.  that when Augustus returned from the Acticane victory: among those that went to gratulate his return, there was one which carried a Chough whom he had taught to say: God save thee Caesar our Empe. vanquisher of Antonius &: being likewise saluted by a Parrot, he willed that they should both bebought. And wondering at the same in a Pie, commanded that to be bought also. Which thing a poor Cobbler beholding, taught a Crow to speak in the same manner. And being overcharged with cost, and seeing that his bird would not answer, was wont to say often, all my labour is lost, all my labour is lost. But at length when the bird had perfectly learned the salutation: he offered her unto the Emperor, who answered that he had already enough such Birds at home, which saluted him after that sort. Then the Crow by chance remembering the other speech which his Master, mistrusting his docility, had often times uttered: began to speak aloud before the Emperor saying: I have lost my labour, I have lost my labour, whereat Caesar laughed, and commanded him to be bought likewise.   

Chap. 17. Of Rich men.  

Aemelius.  AEMilius Probatus in his book, of Captains of foreign Nations, telleth a story of the Prince's sun of Athens, how marvelous liberal he was, who having fermes and grainges in many places of the country: he never put any keepers over his corn or fruits, but suffered every man to take what he list, his servants followed him with money to give away if any lacked immeadiatly, jest he should seem to deny it by deferring it. If he saw any man ill apperrelled, he would give him his own clotheses from his back. He always prepared great plenty of meat, that those whom he found unbidden in the streets, he might have them all home unto his house, which he did every day and miss not. His credit, his help, his goods, never was failing to any that had need. He encritched many, and buried many poor folk of his own cost. Cecilius Balbus of the Philosophers toys, 
Cecili. bal.  reporteth that Agathocles king of Sicilia said, that a man aught to use plate of gold as he would cups of clay, for it is far more better to shine in good manners, then in riches. He used at his meals to dine and sup in earthen vessels, and on a time when one demanded of him the cause, he answered in this sort: 
Of Sicil though I now be King, a Potter was my sire.  
Whoso to rich and high estate shalt happen to aspire,  
Arising eft from base degree: use fortune reverently,  
And call to mind what was thy state before thou rose so by.   
And therefore this king considering the baseness of his parentage, was content to feed in earthen vessel as other poor men are.  
Valerius in his third book, and fift chapter, 
Valerius  reporteth that Marcus Curius, at what time the Ambassadors of the Samnites came to speak with him, bid that they should come into him, where they found him sitting upon an evil favoured form, very homely. Who marveling at his poverty, and delivering unto him a great sum of Money which they desired him to accept and to use it at his need and pleasure: 
Marc. Cu.  he refused it, willing them to tell the Samnites, that Mar. Curius had rather rule over rich men, then be rich himself. And remember this, (quoth he) that I can neither be overcome in battle, nor corrupted with money. The same author likewise telleth of Frabricius, who was greater than any man in all the City in honour and authority, and match with the poorest in wealth and revenue, who also sent back unto the Samnites many great gifts, in whose tuition and charge they were. He was rich without money, and kept a great family, for why, it made him rich not to possess much, but to desire sufficient.   

Chap. 18. Of Poor men.  
FRontinus in his fourth book & first chapter telleth how that Scipio after the he had achieved notable exploits in Spain, 
Frontinus.  writeth, that according unto a law made by Seleucus against adultery, his sun, who was apprehended in the same, should have lost both his eyes. And when the whole City for the honour and duty which they bore to the father, deured that the punishment might be remitted, long time refusing to be entreated, but at length relenting at the people's suit, first putting out one of his own eyes, and next one of his suns: notwithstanding fulfilled the whole punishment, dividing himself, as it were, between a merciful father, and a just judge.  
In Policratus the fift book, and second chap. it is set down, that when on a time there arose a certain controversy between King Alexander and certain of his soldiers, 
Policra.  and the king had the foil in the field judgement: he thankfully accepted the judgement, and gave great thanks to the judges, whose faith he had experimented in preferring justice, before the respect of any Potentate.   

Chap. 23. Of Lawyers.  
AVlus Gellius in his Nights of Athens, telleth an history of a young man, 
Aul. Geli.  who coming to Pythagoras to be instructed in eloquence, promised him a great sum of money for his pain to be paid that day, when he first pleaded cause before the Judges and obtained it. But when he had well profited in the art, and would take the handling of no causes upon him: Pythagoras convented him before the judges, saying unto him, now will I have my reward, whether sentence go with thee or against thee. For if sentence go on shy side, than my reward is due: and if it go against thee, then is it due also, for have I judgement on my side. The● answered the scholar, understand this much Master (quoth he) if sentence go on my side then own I nothing unto you by virtue of the sentence: and if it go against me, then by our bargain I own you nothing because I preveill not, and am not well taught. Which controversy the judges perceiving to be very litigious, and doubtful, deferred the Matter unto a very long day, so that I judge the case is not yet discussed. 
Helinand.  Heylinandus in his second book of the institution of Princes, telleth how on a time Demosthenes demanded of Aristodius what reward he had received to speak, who answered, a Talon: and I, (quod Domosthenes,) had a more to hold my peace. Thus a man may see that some lawyers tongues may do hurt unless they be tied with a silver chain, and many times they cell aswell their silence, as their words. Valerius writeth in the seventh book and third chapter, 
Valerius.  how that two men which were guests in a house, brought certain money and delivered it unto the goodwife with this promise, that she should deliver it again unto them both together. And a good while after, the one of them came and deceived the woman, requiring the money, and saying that his fellow was dead, which she forth with delivered. Not long after the other came also, and demanded the money. Whereat the poor woman being in distress: made the orator Demosthenes of her counsel, who made this answer in her behalf. My friend (quoth he) this woman is ready to tender the money, but she may not pay it to you unless your fellow come with you, for as you say, this was the agreement between you, that it should not be paid to the one of you without the other.  
Cecilius Balbus in the place before recited, 
Ceci. Bal.  telleth of an ancient soldier of Rome, who on a time being in some danger before the judges, beesought Caesar to come aurode into the court to help him. Unto whom Caesar appointed a good lawyer. Then the soldier said, (O Caesar quoth he) when thou wast in danger in the Asiane war I sought not a deputy, but I fought myself for thee, and there with all he discovered unto him the scars of the wounds which he had received there for him. Immediately Caesar sprang forth and came to help him, fearing jest he might seem not so much proud, as unthankful.   

Chap. 24. Of great men's Bailiffs.  
Josephus in the thirteenth book and twelfth chapter of Antiquities, 
josephus.  writeth how that the Emperor Tiberius was somewhat hard and wayward in all his business and affairs, and look what Receivers he had appointed in Provinces, he seldom or never changed them. And being demanded why he did so: he answered, because he spared the poor people. For if the Receivers knew that they should have their office but short time, then would they suck until the blood followed, and how much the shorter time they should be in office: so much the more intolerable they would deal, and they that came new would destroy all that they found. Which saying of his, he confirmed by the example of a man that lay wounded by the way, in the Summer season, and would not have the flies driven away which were about the wound. And one which came upon the way, supposing that of weakness he had let them alone: drove them away. Ah, (said he) you have done ill, for these flies were now full of blood and troubled me but little, and the fresh ones which come will sting me more sharply. Even so new appointed officers do pinch the commons more eagerly.  

Aristotle.  Aristotle in the Secrets of Secrets, writeth in this wise unto Alexander: Never set such a Bailiff to rule in any place which will be corrupted with money, for in so doing thou shalt subvert thy realms, and besides thou canst repose no assurance in such a one as gapeth after treasure, and commodity. For he serveth thee for the gold, and giveth up his senses unto money, and by polling of others: seeketh to fill up up his bottomless bags. And look how much his money increaseth so much the love thereof groweth, and perhaps the love of money may induce him to the destruction of thyself, and thy kingdom. And shortly after in the same place, he setteth down fifteen conditions generally to be required when we would get, or choose a Bailiff. The same Author likewise in the second book of his Rethorickes, proving that procurators, Rend gatherers, Bailiffs & Receivers aught not upon small occasion to be changed, where he useth for proof Esop's fable of the wounded Fox going upon the way, and the flies which sat upon him and sucked his blood. Then the Vrcheon coming by, & moved with compassion would have driven them away. To whom said the Fox, do not so I pray you, for these are now full of blood, and if new should come they would molest me more, as new Bailiffs and Stuewards do.   

Chap. 25. Of Friends, and Friendship.  
VAlerius in the fourth book and fourth chapter, 
Valerius  writeth of a pair of friends, called Damon and Pythias, which were so faithfully linked in friendship, that when Di●nisius the tyrant would have put one of them to death, and had given him respite before he died to go home and dispose his goods in order, the other of them doubted not to yield his life in pledge for his friend. And when the day of his return approached, and he was not yet came, every man condemned this foolish surety, of folly. Howbeit he said, that he doubted nothing of his friends constancy. But at the very same hover and moment when his friend should have died in his steed, he came and offered himself to death. Whose friendship and constancy the tyrant wondering at: forgave the punishment, and moreover requested them to let him be the third friend, and to receive him into their constant band of amity.  
Likewise the same Author in the fift book and ninth chapter, reporteth how that one Pretolius denying the request of a certain friend of his, why then, quoth his friend what need have I of thy friendship? Nay, (quod Pretolius) what need have I of thine, if I must do a dishonest deed for thee? Tully in his Book of friendship writeth● that when Tarqvinius the proud was expulsed out of his kingdom, he then understood who were his trusty friends, and who untrusti, when he could neither be even with them, nor requited their benefits.  
Seneca also in the second of one of his works, 
Seneca.  writeth that the philosopher Arthesius had two friends, a poor man, and one that was sick, but both of them for shamefastness sake, dissembled their friendship. Which thing when the Philosopher understood: he thought the he aught to secure them with out shamefastness, and that with speed. He privily put a bag of money under one of their Pillows, the other not knowing thereof, that laying aside all foolish and unprofitable shamefastness, his friend might seem rather to find that which he wanted, then to receive that which he asked.   

Chap. 26. Of Kinsfolks.  

Valerius.  VAlerius writeth in the first book and first chapter, that in the old time men were wont to make solemn feasts, which they called Caristia, whereat were none present but kinsfolk and allies, that if chance there were any controversy or breach between any of them at that solemnity, in that time of making merry, the matter might be proposed, and heard, and friendly ended.  
Likewise he writeth in the eight book, that when Decius the General or Emperor for the time, would have set the imperial Diadem upon his sun Decius head, he refused it, saying, I fear me lest when I am Emperor I leave to be a sun, rather let my father have the government, and let it be my dignity to be obedient unto him.  
Moreover in the fift book and fift chapter, he telleth of Cesetius▪ who being commanded by Caesar, the conqueror both of all abroad, and at home, to banish his sun for that he had ministered some occasion of distrust that he affected the kingdom, answered him saying: truly Caesar (quoth he) thou shalt sooner take all my suns from me, than I will sand away one of them at thy commandment. See what great boldness this was, that he would not yield unto him to whom all the world was in subjection. Likewise the same author in the fourth chapter writeth, that on a time the Praetor delivered a malifactour, which was a woman, borne of a good family, unto the Jailer to be executed in the prison, who being moved with compassion towards the woman, put her not to death immediately, but gave leave unto her daughter to come unto her, looking unto her that she should bring her mother no food, to th'intent he might kill her by famine. And when certain days were passed, marveling how she lived so long, in the end he perceived how the loving daughter relieved her mother's hunger with the milk of her breasts, which strange fact being reported to the Counsel, procured the woman's pardon. For what will not love & duty find out? and what is so rare to be seen, as the daughter to give the mother suck? A man would think that it were against nature, unless it were the first and principal law of nature, to love our parents.   

chap. 27. Of good Weemen  
A Good Woman aught first of all, to set light by temporal goods: touching which point Valerius, 
Valerius.  in the fourth book and first chapter telleth the story of Cornelia, which was mother unto the Gracchi: the same upon a time received into her house of gestred a gentlewoman of Campania, who showed her very beautiful Jewels and ornaments, which she had in store made according to the fashion in those days, but she gave her a quip for it: For when her children came home from school, and all these be my jewels & ornaments, quoth Cornelia. For truly, who so coveteth nothing, hath allthing, & in greater assurance than he that hath much goods in possession. And since worldly goods are but casual, yet are the virtues of the mind such as are subject unto no misadventures of Fortune. Secondly she aught to overcome all carnal desire. 
Orosius.  Touching which point, Orosius writeth in his fift Book, that when the Germans were overcome by Marius, their women with a more constant courage then if they had been the conquerors, desired the Consul that he would save their virgin's lives upon condition that they might preserve their chastyty, and be reserved to minister unto the Gods. But when they could not obtain so much of him: they dashed the brains of their young children against the stones and hanged themselves. 
Vale.  Thirdly she aught to preserve her loyalty, & the tokens of her goodwill towards her husband, whereof Valerius writeth in his fourth book and fift chapter, that at what time the Spartans kept certain Lacedæmonians in prison, whom they detained there to put them to death, their wives being women of noble blood, came thither, and desiring to speak with their husbands before they were executed: obtained licence of the Jailer to go into the Prison unto them. And when they were gone in they exchanged their apparel with their husbands, and so the men departed out of the prison in their wives attire, muffled, as though they had covered their faces for grief & heaviness. Moreover a woman aught to give her husband good counsel.  

Seneca.  The like example as touching the force hereof, is by Seneca set forth, showing that when Augustus the Emperor of Rome bethought him how he might revenge himself on one which sought his death, the Empress advised him that he should follow the trade of all good Physicians, who seeing that they can not prevail with Medicines of the same quality with the disease, apply the contrary. Wherefore said she, seeing that you cannot prevail by severity, prove to win by gentleness, which he did willingly, and took effect.   

Chap. 28. Of wicked Women.  

Orosius.  ORosius in his first book of the work before alleged, setteth it down, that when Ninus king of the Assyrians was dead his wife and Queen Semiramis reigned in his steed, blouddely imbruing the kingdom with slaughter the space of. xly. years. The same burning in lust, and thirsting blood, among so many horrible murders and abominable whoredoms, having quatted her greedy desire with so many whorish devices and strange manners of coupling, at length having conceived a son by shameful dealing, and nourishing him up by ungodly means, and having had with him incestuous meddling, she sought to cover her private shame with public wickedness. For she gave forth in commandment that there should be no such reverence nor respect between parents and children, nor no discretion used in taking of wives or observing of matrimony, but in that point it should be lawful for every man and woman to take whom they lusted. S. Jerome writing against iovinianus, 
S. jeaom.  reporteth that the wife of Sylla was a common woman, or as they term them a good fellow. And likewise Pompeius that overcame well-nigh the whole world, had an incontinent Lady to his wife. 
Cato  Cato also which was called Censorinus, married a very baggage of a mean parentage, yet was she a shrew and a whore, and that more strange is, proud and saucy to her Lord and husband.  
justinus the abridger of Torgus Pompeus writeth, 
justinus.  that when Grippus which was sun to Deme. had recovered his Father's dominions, & had quite ended all foreign dangers, he was afterward assaulted by the treason of his own greedy mother. Who for the desire that she had to reign having betrayed one of her suns and by that horrible deed putting of all motherly affection, supposed now that her dignity and honour was much embased by the conquest and renown of her other child. Wherefore upon a time she watched opportunity, and preparing a cup of deadly poison, presented him therewith when he came hot and thirsty from exercise. But her attempt took contrary effect. For Grippus, as it were offering dutiful courtesy to his mother, desired her to begin unto him. At the last he urged her so far, that he found out great proofs of her purpose, wherewith the Queen being overcome, and turning the mischief unto herself, died with the poisoned potion which she had provided for her sun.   

Chap. 29 Of married Weemen.  
VAlerius writeth in the fourth book and third Chapter, 
Valerius.  that when julia, who was daughter unto Caesar & wife to Pompeius the great, beehelde her Lord and husbands Gown brought home all bloody out of the field, being strooken with sudden fear that some violence had befallen unto him, fell down in a swonde and was delivered of Child before her time, not with out great loss and detriment of the whole Empire.  
And Cecilius Balbus in the place before recited, 
Cecili. bal.  writeth a story of a certain man whose name was Damelius, to whom a companion of his objected that he had a stinking breath. Then departed he home unto his Wife discontented, & chiding with her for not telling him thereof before. Then his wife said surely I would have done so (quoth she) but that I thought that all men● breathes had smelled in that sort, and therefore very like it is that she had never joined her mouth unto any other man's.  

Valerius.  Valerius also writeth in the sixth book, and third chapter, of Tercia Emilia the wife of Scipio African, whose singular good will and patience toward her husband was so great, that perceininge that her Lord bore good affection unto one of her Handmaids: she dissembled the matter and would not see it, for that she would not seem to suspect or blame her Lord of incontinency, or to move him to impatiency which was conqueror of the world. Yea after her Husband's decease, she made her handmaid free, and bestowed her in marriage with one of her free men.  
Likewise Sulpitia was most diligently kept by her mother julia, because she should not follow her husband Lentulus into Italy, who was proscribed and condemned to die. Howbeit she changed her attire, and put one the garment of a servant, and taking with her two Handmaids, and two men, stole away secretly unto him, not refusing to banish herself, that her faith might be known to her condemned husband.   

Chapter. 30. Of good widows.  
THe word Vidua which signifieth a Widow, soundeth as it were Divisa, that is to say, one that is divided and parted from her Husband. And Valerius writeth in the first book & first chap. that in the old time those women that were contented with one husband & once marrying, were crowned with a Garland of chastyty, supposing that the tasting of many and often wedlocks, was a token of a certain kind of intemperancy.  

jerom.  Saint Jerome in his work against iovinianus reporteth that when Cato's Daughter had mourned four weeks for the death of her Husband, a certain Matron demanded of her when she would make an end of mourning? who answered, when she made an end of living.  
Likewise the same Author in his book de Anima, writeth o●her, that when on a time a friend of hers persuaded her to marry another husband since she was yet but young, and her beauty fresh & flowering: she answered that she would not: For, said she, if I chance to find as good an husband as I had before, I will not stand in fear to lose him: but if he be éevel, what need I to trouble myself with such an one? And again in the same place, when one in the presence of Porcia, praised a certain woman which had buried one husband and Married the second, she answered, that a good and an honest woman never marrieth but once. And semblably Valeria which was sister unto the Messalas, after the decease of her Husband would never marry again, and being demanded the cause, she answered that her husband always lived unto her. Artemisia also which was Queen and wife unto Mausolus' king of Caria, although in respect of her fidility towards her husbands she be singularly commended, yet is she most praised for that she loved her Husband always as dearly when he was dead, as if he had been living: and in the honour of him she builded a most beautiful and renowned Sepulchre, in so much that thereof all great and sumptuous sepulchres are called Mausolea, that is to say, like Mausolus' monument.   

Chap. 31. Of Virgins.  
COncerning Virgins, Saint Jerome writeth against iovinianus, that it appeareth in how great honour virgins were had among the people of Rome, forasmuch as Consuls and generals of Arms sitting in their triumphant chariots when they returned home with conquest over their enemies, and finally all kind of degrees were accustomed in meeting them, go out of the way, and give them place. Nichanor when he had overcome and subverted the City of Thebes, was taken in the love of a captive virgin. And desiring her embracings and company in the commendable law of wedlock, which thing a captive might well have liked of, he found by trial that unto chaste minds virginity is more dear than a kingdom. Whom the lover when she was slain held in his own hand, lamenting his own grief, and her most miserable condition. 
Seneca.  Seneca in his sixth book of declamations reporteth that a vestal virgin wrote these verses following: 
O happy married wives, your life is fraught with joy,  
For that I may not taste your state, I die in great annoy.  Against which, there was alleged an answer in this sort: 
As one that tried hast a man, thou yieldest up the ghost,  
Or diest because thou art denied the thing thou covetst most,  both which things aught to be farthest from a woman of that cote. For unto thee the Magistrates do cast down their faces in token of reverence, unto thee the Consuls and Praetors give the upper hand in the streets, and it is no small calling to be both a virgin and a priest: and that which hath been spoken with so great affection that it seemed to proceed from the very hark & entrails must needs be true, that what woman soever wisheth the act, even without the act doing is an harlot. 
Valerius.  Valerius in the seventh book and third chapter, writeth of a certain vestal virgin in Rome called Tuccia, whose chastity being obscured with a sinister report of incontinency, and she herself being privy of her own innocency, took into her hands a siue, and thus prayed unto the goddess Vesta, saying: Vesta, if I have always touched thy sacrifices with chaste and undefiled hands, command that I may take water out of the river Tiber with this Sieve, and carry it into thy Temple. Which indeed she accomplished, the common course of Nature giving place to her bold attempts.  

S. jerom.  Likewise Saint Jerome in the place before alleged, writeth of another vestal virgin named Claudia, who being suspected that she had played the harlot, and at that present the Image of the mother of the Gods stuck fast in the Oase of Tiber in a ship, to give example therefore of her integrity, it is reported how she tied her girdle unto the ship and that she drew it so away, more than many thousand men were able to accomplish.  
And, Saint Augustine in his work de civitate Dei, 
s. August.  writeth that the ancient Romans were wont to bury alive the vestal virgins that were corrupted, and whatsoever other women were taken in adultery, they were one way or another punished, but none were put to death: supposing it meet to punish more severely the breach of a divine vow, then of human chastity. And thus as I judge I have run over all sorts of men with whom a man may happen to be conversant with all at the table.  
FINIS.    

¶ The third Book of Table Philosophy, which containeth certain delectable and pleasant Questions, to be propounded while we be at meat, or at any other time.  

The Preface.  
NOw, since we have already briefly entreated concerning the manners and behaviour of those, with whom we may chance to be accompanied at the table, next it remaineth that with like brevity we run over certain pleasant questions of table talk. For as witnesseth Macrobius in his first book of Saturnalia: A well nurtured mind cannot solace it self with more profit or seemliness, then in taking opportunity to dispute and demand questions after a learned and virtuous manner, and if need be to answer with courtesy, and men cannot question of any thing with greater delight than of matters of learning. And therefore as saith, the same Macrobius in the third book, the first thing which we aught to observe at the table is to weigh the estimation and calling of every jest, and the next to take occasion when he seeth it offered to speak, not to pour forth our own secrets among the cups, neither yet to minister crabbed and unpleasant talk, but rather profitable and delightsome Questions.   

¶ The first Chapter containing five several Questions.  
FIrst therefore and foremost, this may be demanded: whether that the Air or Meat be more necessary for the preservation of the life of Man? And it seemeth of the twain that Meat is more necessary, since that is more necessary which supplieth that substance which is lost, and which may be a member or part of a member of the body, 
Avicen. Constan.  of which nature is our Meat according to the assertion of Avicen. But indeed Constantinus is of the contrary opinion, saying, that Air is more necessary, to the body, proving the same both by Reason, and experience. By Reason thus: Life consisteth in natural heat, because natural heat is the beginning of life, wherefore that thing which tempereth natural heat, retaining it in the natural temperature is more necessary, but the Air which by way of breathing we draw in, is of such sort: wherefore it is more necessary. By experience thus: If a man be suddenly brought out of a stinking close prison, first he desires to take the fresh Air, and afterward calleth for Meat, and Drink. But against the reason first alleged it may be answered negatively, for life consisteth in two points, the one is a beginning somewhat far of, as restoring that which is lost, and the conservation of all the members and parts. In respect of which, the nourishing of natural heat is most necessary, which is immediately and principally maintained by the qualities of the Air. And therefore Air is more necessary to the preservation of life, for that it respecteth the life principally and immediately.  
Secondly, it may be demanded which of the two, Meat, or Drink, is more necessary unto life? To this may be answered that Meat is, although that Drink be commonly more desired than Meat. The reason of the first is, that that is more necessary which restoreth the thing which is lost, then that which serveth only to convey the juice about all the body. But Meat is ordained to restore the parts, and Drink to carry the meat about the body: wherefore the conclusion is manifest. And that Drink is more greedily desired: the reason is, for that drink delayeth the vehemency of natural heat, in which respect it is more necessary unto life then Meat, as is the Air also. Thus Drink hath two offices, first it conveyeth the Meat unto all parts of the body, and so is Meat a thing more necessary than drink. Secondly, it mitigateth the natural heat, and preserveth it in the just temperature, and is thereby more necessary than meat. Wherefore any living creature can longer live without meat, than drink.  
Thirdly, this question may be demanded: Weather evil Air or evil Meat do more hurt the body? Whereunto it may be absolutely answered, that evil Air hurteth more, for, that it is more noisome unto the heart, which is the fowntaine of Natural heat, and of the spirits. Howbeit we may use a distinction herein, that a thing may do harm after divers manner of ways. first, if it touch some noble and principal part, and the other thing do not so. Secondly, if it altar it often times and it cannot otherwise be avoided. Thirdly, if it touch it immediately. And by these three means éevill Air hurteth more than evil Meat. For it toucheth a principal part, and it is often drawn in, and it toucheth the part immediately. Fourthly, a thing may hurt the more, because it maketh a strong impression. Fiftly, if it continnue there long, and cleave long time unto the ●●●ber. And by these last means, corrupt meat eaten a●●● more than naughty Air drawn in.  
●●urthly, this demand may be moved: Whether Meat ●●●pe do more comfort the body? It may be answered, 〈◊〉 lack of Meat doth more grieve the body then lack of sleep, and thereby concluded that Meat is more necessary than sleep. And the reason is this, for the sleep restoreth not that which is lost, neither appeaseth the vehemency of natural heat from working upon the natural moisture, which being consumed, than death is at the door, which meat doth: wherefore it is more necessary. Moreover, there be three powers, the Vital, Natural, and Animal. The Animal is not so much appertaining unto the substance and effect of life, as the other two are. Wherefore, nutriment which belongeth unto the Natural and Vital faculties: is more needful than sleep, which belongeth unto the Animal virtue only.  
Fiftly, it may come into question: whether the Air or Meat do more nourish the body? Unto this may be answered, that there is some kind of Nutriment which goeth into the substance of that which is Nourished, and is converted in to the same, and after this manner the most finest and subtlest parts of the meat is nutriment unto the spirits, and not the Air. Secondly, a thing may be termed a nutriment unto the spirits, because it comforteth them, and thus we call that the temperature or temperament of any thing which preserveth the same and nourisheth it, having some proportion with that which is nourished. And in this manner, Air nourisheth the spirits, refreshing, and preserving them in their natural temperature. And this much concerning this Question.   

The second Chapter containing 12. Questions.  
THe sixth Question moveth this demand: Whether evil Meat can engender good juice? And according unto the opinion of Haly super tegni, 
Haly.  etc. It is answered that there may be engendered good blood out of evil Meat, & contrariwise also. The reason is this, good Meat may be éevelly digested, and so thereof become evil blood. And contrariwise, naughty meat well digested, and so converted into good blood. So that in every kind of meat, yea if it were of a venomous qualiti are found two natures. The one, wherein it is unproportionable unto the nature of the parts of the body, and by this means eevel meat engendereth evil juice, and this is the proper effect which evil meat worketh. The. y. nature is whereby meats have the quality to become proportionable unto the parts & like unto them, and in this sort naughty meats may engender good juice. For when Nature is strong, she is able to remove the other quality which is nearest unto her, to wit in the same meat which is received, and when it is altered she bringeth it unto her own quality, and so of evil meat engendereth good blood. And contrariwise, if Nature be weak and feeble, she is not able to overcome the meats, & to bring it unto good effect, which of itself is of power to be converted into commendable nutriment, & therefore failing for want: turneth good meat into evil juice.  
seventhly it may be demanded: Whether a simple, or a componed Meat be easiest of digestion? To this we must answer with Dyasanus, 
Dyasanus.  as appeareth in the last of the Saturnalia that simple meat is the easiest. For crudity and surfeit cometh two manner of ways, either by the quality or quantity of the meat. By the quality, into which the meat is converted if it be not agreeable unto the rest of the humours of the body, & by the quantity thereof, if there be more received into the body than nature is able to digest. Then, for as much as the diversity of meats hath diversity of Natures, & some are soon digested and converted into juice, whiles the harder lie boiling in the stomach: the first waxeth sour and unprofitable and is perceived by sour & evil savouring belching, & there whiles that which is harder of concoction procureth gulping, & boiling in the belly, even as green wood lieth smoking when it taketh heat of the fire. Besides that, the diversity of meats provoketh gormandize, & a desire to eat more then enough, so that Socrates counseled very wisely that men should abstain from such meats as seem to provoke appetite when the belly is full, or to increase thirst, when a man hath drunken sufficient.  
Eightly, it may be demanded whether it be good to walk immediately after meat or not? And hereunto it is to be answered, that there is two sorts of Motions, or exercises. The one may be termed a toil, and that is not good after meat. The other is a kind of walking either within doors, or abroad down sum hill, 
Isaac.  whereof Isaac entreateth, and the same moderately driveth the me●te down unto the bottom of the stomach, to the intent that natural heat, which before was as it were a sleep may be awakened and stirred up, which is requisite after meat.  
Ninthly, some man may demand whether it be good to sleep immediately after meat or not? whereto I answer, that sleep is not wholesome while the stomach is burdeined, for it procureth the meat to be burned, 
Avicen.  as witnesseth Avicen, li●● as the bread burneth when the Oven is over heated, as also because it procureth the rheum and pain in the head, wherefore most expedient it were to defer sleeping until the meat be departed out of the stomach.  
Tenthly, What is the cause that if a man stay longer for meat then his accustom hour, he loseth his appetite? It must be answered, that when the stomach hungereth and findeth no meat to work upon, it draweth éevil humours from all parts of the body & feedeth upon them, and is thereby falsely and counterfaitly satisfied, and so desireth no more, wherefore in this case Rhasis giveth advise, 
Rhasis.  to drink a draft of warmewater or tisane, whereby to provoke the party to vomit if it may be.  
eleventhly, Are our bodies warmer before meat or after? Galen saith in his second book of the sum of Physic, 
Galen.  that natural heat is augmented three ways: either in quantity, as in applying sweet and warm furs, or the belly of a young whelp unto the stomach: or in quality by medicines, or jointly by both means in meats, and by this means the body is warmer after meat than it was before.  
twelve: whether doth fasting hurt more a choleric person or a phlegmatic? I answer according to Hippocrates, 
Hyppocr.  that it hurteth most a choleric, the reason is, for that heat more aboundeth in a choleric persons stomach then in a phlegmatic so that the same heat consumeth more, and consequently maketh him more to desire food. Moreover, phlegm may be turned into blood, but choler can never, so that the phlegmatic person containeth in his body the matter and substance of blood, and may thereby the better satisfy the appetite. As for the choleric, he hath in him no such matter, wherefore hunger is more grievous unto him then to the phlegmatic, as experience in them both proveth to be true.   

The iii Chapter, containing. x. questions.  
NOw in this question i●●alleth out that many are desirous to understand, what should be the cause that many men are very hungry, and look when they sit down to their meat, they are immediately satisfied with a little. Again, some have but small appetite, and when they be sit at their meat, they eat greedily: Whereunto we must answer, that this chanceth according to the diversity of stomachs. For some men's stomockes are small & hot, and in that the stomach is hot desireth much, and in that it is small the heat disperseth soon the meat over all the capacity thereof, and maketh a fantastical fullness, so that little meat sufficeth such. Other some have large stomachs and could, and in that their stomachs are cold, a little meat filleth them, but in that their stomachs are large, they feed much and a long time.  
Secondly: which of the twain, those which have a strong heat or a weak, are able longest to abide hunger? Surely I suppose that they which have the stronger may fast longest, since for the more part such persons are of the stronger constitution. Howbeit this distinction is to be noted, that there be two points to be considered in fasting, to wit, the resolution of natural heat, & the utter quenching of the same, & the strongest nature is able best to sustain them both. And secondly, the discommodities are to be weighed which ensue fasting, of which the strongest nature sustaineth more than doth the weak.  
Thirdly: how chanceth it that those whose powers be small and narrow, can abide hunger better than they which have wider? Because through wide and large pores, the body is more abundantly resolved, & less through the narrow and small pores, wherefore the remaineth which should provoke appetite.  
Fourthly: doth choler nourish or not? unto this demand we answer, 
Galen. Isaac. Avicen.  that although Galen and Isaac say, that it nourisheth not, because blood only nourisheth: yet Avicen holdeth opinion that choler nourisheth also, which two opinions of singular learned men, we must make to agree after this manner. There are two sorts of choler, whereof the one, which is contained within the gall cannot nourish: the other necessarily concurreth with the blood, wherewith the parts of the body which are of a choleric constitution, are as well nourished, as the sanguine parts are with the blood.  
fifthly, whether can the sick or the whole best endure hunger? Some hold opinion that the sick can, because natural heat in a sick person is busy in resolving more fumosities, breaths, and vapours rising from the humours, then in an whole person. Howbeit this reason is weak, first because there can be no parts nourished, nor spirits engendered by corrupt humours, and secondly if this were so, then should there be more spirits in a sick body then in an whole, and because the spirits are the carriers of the powers and strength into althe parts, the sick should be stronger than the whole, which is evidently false. But to grow to the purpose, we answer that whereas the sick tolerateth hunger better than the whole person, there are three causes to be given: the fist is because nature is occupied about the sickness, and the cause thereof: the second, for that the parts of the body are infected and cheaked with the corrupt matter, and therefore do not desire nutriment: and the third is because the strength of the sick party being, as it were, laid a sleep and weakened, ●auseth them to have no appetite unto meat.  
Sixtly, whether in the force of a strong or weak stomach best able to abide hunger? The force of a strong stomach desireth most, but it may best sustain forbearing of meat, and contrariwise the appetite of a weak stomach looketh less for meat, & is not so well able to abide delay from it.  
seventhly, which of the twain is best able to endure hunger he that is accustomed to eat much meat or little? It may be answered that he that useth to eat much meat may best fast for by reason of his great ravening he hath but small heat, and therefore may best endure hunger, & so likewise contrariwise, because of the contrary cause.  
Eighthly, whether doth fasting more grieve men in hot or cold seasons of the year? It is more noisome in Summer then in winter, because the body is more resolved in Summer than it is in winter, and therefore aught then to be feed more abundantly and very often, and in winter it sufficeth to eat once in a day. Ninthely, why are those that feed griediestly soon filled? Hereunto we must answer as it is written in the Saturnalia, that they which feed greedily eat in much air with their meat by reasen of their wide gaping, and often fetching of their breath. And therefore when the veins are filled with air, the appetite is fully satisfied.  
Tenthly, wherefore are we able to abide hot meats and drinks in our mouth, which we cannot for heat suffer in our hands? we answer as appeareth in the place before alleged, for that the natural heat which is contained with in the inner parts of the body is very sharp and vehement, and therefore it overcometh & weakeneth whatsoever other hot substance cometh within the mouth, wherefore then when thou puttest any extreme hot thing into thy mouth, gape not wide nor fetch not thy breath in often, thinking thereby to cool it, but rather shut thy lips almost close together, to the intent that the greater heat which cometh out of the belly, may help the mouth, and that greater heat overcome the lesser, as for the hand that can abide no hot thing because it is holpen by no other heat than is in itself.   

The. 4. chap. containing. 7. questions.  
SOme man may haply move this question: what is the cause that when a man which is hungry drinketh, thereby he assuageth his hunger? but if he be a thirst and eat, his thirst is not thereby slaked? Unto this demand there is answer made in the Saturn▪ that there is no impediment but that liquor may pass into every part of the body, and replenish the veins thereof. But the substance of meat is more grosser, and it cannot pass into the veins until it be digested by little and little, so that it cannot slake the thirst which it findeth, yea rather it soaketh up the moisture which it findeth, whereby thirst which is the want of moisture, is more increased.  
Secondly, Such as are fasting, whether be they more an hungered then a thirst? By the same place I answer that they thirst most, forasmuch as natural heat worketh continually upon the food and nutriment which we receive, consuming it away. Which also appeareth in children whiles they be infants which consume and concoct great store of nutriment by reason of their vehement heat. But contrariwise we perceive how easily old men can sustain fasting, by reason of the default of natural heat in them. But in the middle age, if natural heat be stirred up with exercise, it procureth a stronger appetite unto meat, for want of natural heat. Wherefore, if there be always heat in appetite, & moisture be the peculiar substance whereon heat worketh, if when a man is hungry he desireth meat, surely heat especially requireth his own nutriment, which being received, the whole body is therewith refreshed, & can that longer tarry for more sounder sustenance  
Thirdly, why is it that we conceive more delight in drinking when we are a thirst, then in eating when we be hungry? Drink, as a substance more liquid than meat, sooner perceath into the stomach & the rest of the body, and at one time maketh a great & sensible delectation of the body to arise in every part thereof, whereas meat by small and small recomforteth the want and weakness of the same, whereby the delight thereof is much diminished. Fourthly: why doth the self same drink seem stronger to one tha● is fasting, them to one that is full? Hunger emptieth the veins, & fullness stoppeth them, and therefore when as the drink passeth through the empty parts, it is far more evident perceived, and causeth more strong sense of delectation unto the tasting.  
Fiftly, If a man be thirsty and have a dry stomach, whether may a little drink suffice him or not? It is hereunto to be answered according unto Galen, 
Galen.  those which have dry stomachs are soon a thirst, and a little drink sufficeth them. The reason whereof may be this, for that every member which is dry, shrinketh together and waxeth to be of less capacity than it was before, which happeneth unto the stomach which is dry, and therefore is soon filled, and with a little drink. And in the stomach there is engendered great thirstines, when the mouth thereof waxeth dry and desireth to be moistened with drink, and then a little drink sufficeth it. For when that which was dry and hard, is shrunken together, the capacity thereof is soon filled with drink and a little extinguisheth the thirst, insomutch as it feeleth not it own emptynes, and this thirst soon returneth again.  
Sixtly, May the stomach be over charged and troubled with to much drink? Surely Galen affirmeth the same, 
Galen.  and the reason may appear out of the premises. For if a dry stomach by reason of the narrowness thereof, be full with a little drink, if then the drink be more than the capacity of the stomach be able to contain, needs, as Galen saith, must much drink over flow and runover in it.  
seventhly, why can a moist stomach bear much? A moist stomach is in all points contrary to a dry, for it is very soft, like unto a soft bottle or bladder, & for that cause is able to contain more, for it yieldeth every way as the meat which is received chanceth to fall or sway in it, & also apparent it is to sense, that a moist bladder will receive more than will a dry one, and so likewise will a moist stomach. And moreover forsomutch as it is moist without any dryness, which may procure thirst, therefore it much desireth not drink, howbeit it receiveth much and is nothing grieved therewith, as is the dry stomach. And for this cause, the Danes, Polonians, flemings, yea, and the Englishmen can bear much drink, because their stomachs are wide, procured by the softness of moisture. But in hot Regions as are Spain, Barbary, and such like, the inhabitants do thirst much, and drink but little, because of the dryness of the mouth of the stomach, and in such their stomachs can receive but little, because of the dryness thereof.   

The. 5. Chap. of thirstiness, containing 4 questions.  
NOw are we occasioned to move this question concerning Thirstines, Whether the cause thereof proceed sometime from the Lungs or no? Which Galen affirmeth, for that when the Lungs are hot and dry, 
Galen.  they long to be moistened, which dryness is specially assuaged by drawing in of cold air, and cold and moist.  
Secondly, what is the cause why thirstines, which cometh from the Lungs, is appeased by drawing in cold and moist air? And the dryness of the stomach by drink? It is thus to be answered, that there be two passages, the one for air, which is directed unto the Lungs: the other for meat and drink, & that passeth into the stomach. And for this cause the thirstiness which cometh of the Lungs, is abated by drawing in of cold air, and that which riseth of the stomach, is slaked with drink.  
Thirdly, Is thirst a desire of that which is cold and moist, or of that which is hot and moist? There are in the body two appetites or desires: the one in respect of meat, to restore that which is lost, which appetite is satisfied with that which is hot and moist, according to the nature of the parts to be nourished. The other looketh for that which is cold and moist, to repress the flame and firines of natural heat, which is accomplished by drink only, and such drink as men seldom use but in the way of medicine, or when they be sick.  

Galen.  Fourthly, Which quencheth the thirst best of wine or water? Thirst, as saith Galen de simplici medicina, is caused two manner of ways: the one by emptiness: the other by heat & drought of the heart. That which cometh by emptiness of the parts, is chiefly assuaged by Wine which is both meat and drink, for it requireth such drink as is able to restore that substance which is lost, which quality since it is in Wine, that is the only drink then whereby that thirst is appeased. But as for the other thirst which is caused by heat & drought of the heart that is again double, the one coming of heat only, which is quenched with cold only, as with Vinegar and such like. And likewise some is caused by dryness, & is slaked by moisture. Again, thirst which is engendered by heat, is of three sorts: The one riseth forth of the stomach: the other forth of the Lungs, and the third from the parts which are farther of. So that which cometh from the Lungs is slaked by drawing in of cold Air, and that which proceedeth from the stomach and other parts near thereunto, is quenched with cold water, but that which springeth of some éevil disposition of the parts and members which are far distant, as are the Liver and such like, is delayed with water wherewith sum piercing and subtle thing is mingled to 'cause it the sooner to go unto the place, as is vinegar or such like, for water of itself is but slow and dull in operation, wherefore it is needful that some sharper thing be joined with it.   

The 6. Chap. of hurts which come after meat, containing. 15 questions.  
HEreafter we mean to entreat concerning certain accidents which chance after meat and drink, And first to begin with the sour belching, it may be demanded whereof it cometh? And unto this point we answer with Galen, 
Galen.  that the Sour belching proceedeth of a fainting heat, which faileth & decayeth by means of cold. For heat is the beginning of the sourness which beginneth to digest, but is not able to accomplish it, which default cometh especially by hindrance through cold. Secondly, why is not this sourness felt in the stomach▪ immediately upon the receiving of meat? At the first falling of the meat into the stomach, it remaineth a while in the same nature Which it had before it was eaten, and cannot so soon be sour, but when once the heat beginneth to work upon it, there ensueth indigestion, and after that the sowrnes.  
Thirdly, Why happeneth this sourness rather, and in more abundance to them that sleep, then do wake? In sleeping the meat descendeth not down forthwith unto the bottom of the stomach where the digestion is wrought, but remaineth in the mouth of the stomach, fleeting there about, & engendering windynes. But for the more part while men be awake, they be stirring about or walking, whereby the meat is driven down, and enforced into the bottom of the stomach, which is the most effectual place of digestion, and repugnant to the cause of sourness.  
Fourthly, Why (saith Avicen) do sweet things soon wax sour in the stomach, 
Avicen.  as milk, and such like? Milk, and sweet blood are soon altered, and when the stomach assayeth to digest them and cannot, then turn they to be sour.  
Fiftly, Why will wine wax sour quickly in the stomach? Wine and Milk of their own nature are very soon converted into sourness, & the stomach useth to bring things from power into act, and so maketh them sour.  
Sixtly, since all Wines be hot: How chanceth it, that they engender cold diseases, and not hot? Wine of itself breedeth no disease, but by filling the sinews and brain, and such repletions ensue indigestion, and indigestion nourisheth cold sicknesses, and by this means Wine breedeth none but cold infirmities.  
seventhly, Whereof cometh wring, and gripping in the belly? Wring and griping chanceth in all parts of the body, and it is of divers sorts. One cometh of gross windiness, and this happeneth in the bottom of the stomach: anoof gross & tough humours, and another of choleric superfluities. And this last kind of griping in whatsoever it beginneth, for the most part it endeth in the stomach, the bottom thereof being a place of great sensibility, notwithstanding that this gripping also may pain any other place of the guts wheresoever.  
Eightly, May a sick Man eat as much meat as he was won● to do when he was in good health? Custom is a second nature and he that is accustomed to eat much when he is whole, cannot fast when he is sick, and therefore must be more often refreshed with meat, even as often as he used to be being in good health, and more abundantly than he that eateth little.  
Ninthly, whether doth bread or flesh more hurt unto such as are recovering out of sickness? 
Rhasis.  Rhasis saith that flesh is less hurtful than bread unto them, and among all flesh, Swine's flesh nourisheth most, and being light of digestion it is most agreeable unto them.  
Tenthly, whether is bread or flesh most meetest for them that have an Ague? Concerning flesh, there be two points to be considered in the dieting of Agues. The one is light digestion, and herein flesh excelleth: the other is easy conversion into nutriment, and herein bread is better than flesh, for that flesh by reason of the oylines thereof is soon inflamed.  
eleventhly, whether is it good to permit such as recover out of sickness to drink wine immediately after their flesh, or afore? In this point the common people is deceived, for the flesh should first be eaten, and afterward the wine drunken because above all things wine is soon converted into blood, and spirits, & augmenteth natural heat, and therefore aught to be given later than flesh.  
twelve, whether aught one that is recovering out of sickness, to be dieted & governed two days, like as when he was sick? verily he aught so, and that for three causes. First, for the debility of natural power: Secondly, because of custom: Thirdly because of some distemperature remaining yet with in the body since the sickness. This also may be a reason, that it is not good to change suddenly from that whereto a man is accustomed but by little and little, and therefore the recoverer aught for a while to retain the same diet.  
Thirtenthly, Is gross meat good for such as recover out of sickness? According unto the judgement of Hippocrates, it is not for, saith he, it is convenient that they be nourished two or three days with the same diet which they used before. For otherwise they would soon be altered by feeding on gross meats, which were not good for them to do.  
Fourtéenthly, which of these two alterations hurteth a man most, from emptiness to repletion, or from repletion to emptiness? The sudden change from emptiness to fullness is more hurtful then from fullness to emptiness, according to the opinions of Hippocrates and Avicen. 
Hypp. Avicen.  The reason is, for that through the emptiness which went before, the strength of the body is overthrown, the natural heat and spirits being resolved, so that he cannot bear a great quantity of meat, nor a sudden change unto fullness.  
Fiftenthly, how chanceth it that some meats of evil juice as Eels, fresh Beef, and such like, do many times free many men of the Ague? It fortuneth the sundry, many times are delivered by such contraries in their feeding, both by the provocation of nature, who after the receiving of such meats is much lightened, and thereby assaying to disburden herself doth often cast herself headlong, sometime to better, & sometime to worse: and also for the comforting of nature as taking great strength by the receiving of customable meats, & so the powers being strong, the patient is eased and freed by such meats: but being weak, are overthrown, and quite extinguished.   

The. 7. Chap. of Bread, containing. 8. quest.  
BRead is in diverse places made of divers & sundry sorts of corn, and therefore it may be demanded, why bread, which is made of wheat, nourish more than that which is made of Barley? unto which Aristotle answereth in his problems, because it hath more moderate clammines, which it behooveth all good nutriment to have, whereby it may be joined and cleave unto the body, also it sticketh fast together in the moulding, and is therefore the more commendable.  
Secondly, why doth stolen bread seem whiter and fairer than new? Moisture is the cause of the blackness which is more abounding in new bread then in stolen, for in the new bread it yet remaineth, but in the stolen it is exalted away, and departed together with the heat.  
Thirdly, why is unsalted bread heavier than salted? Salt drieth & by it things are preserved from putrefaction, so that by salt the moisture is consumed & is expelled away by exhalation, which maketh stolen bread to be lighter than new, and again, in new bread the moisture yet remaineth and maketh it heavy.  
Fourthly, why is not bread made of wheat, hard when it is cold? wheat naturally containeth in it a sweet slimy humour, which is as it were the soul thereof, & will not permit it to be hard.  
Fiftly, why doth wheaten past rise, and barley past fall both in working and baking? Barley meal when the water cometh unto it shrinketh down, because it lieth hover and thin, and is full of husks. And wheaten meal riseth up, because before it lay very near together: but when once it cometh to heat, them doth it puff up, and rise up into a greater heap.  
Sixtly, Why looketh the dough which is of wheat, white when it is wrought, and barley dough black? For two causes, first for that that which is in the uppermost of the wheaten bread is sooner altered by the heat of the oven as being a thing hot and is converted into whiteness: And secondly because the husky part of the barley retaineth in it more moisture than doth wheat, which causeth the blackness.  
seventhly, Since honey is a more clammy substance than water, how chanceth it that paste which is made up with honey is more brittle in the baking? Water is joined & glued together by heat of the fire. But honey glueth together & drieth with all, and therefore is more brittle, for brittleness cometh of dryness  
Eightly, why is bread which is made of new corn worse than that which is made of old? In new corn there yet remaineth much waterish and slimy clamminess, whereby it is less commendable than that which is made of old grain.   

The. 8. chap. Of Wine, containing. 13. Quest.  
COnsequently I think it meet to entreat of wine, concerning which there may be many profitable questions moved, 
Avicen.  & likewise resolved not with out delight, as first, if, according unto the assertion of Avicen in his cantickles, & Rhasis in Almansor it be good once in a month to be drunken with wine? Unto this answereth Averroes, 
Aver. Avicen. Galen.  in his commentary upon the Canticles of Avicen, that this opinion of drunkenness is but a drunken opinion, & erroneus. For although according unto the judgement of Galen, Wine is as agreeable to the maintenance of natural heat, as Oil in the Lamp to preserve the burning light: notwithstanding like as to much oil rather hindereth the light and extinguish the candle, so doth overmutch Wine quench natural heat altogether. Howbeit if it be delayed with water it is more convenient, but it hurteth the animal heat and the sensible organs thereof, both the brain, and sinews.  
Secondly, why surfeit they sooner that drink delayed Wine, than they which drink it pure? Concerning pure Wine generally, Galen saith, 
Galen.  that for such as naturally have weak veins, it is better to drink water then Wine. And to come nearer to the purpose, 
Aristotle.  Aristotle in the third part of his Problems giveth a threefold cause unto this demand: the first, because that which is tempered or mingled by reason of the subtility thereof entereth into more narrow passages than doth that which is not tempered: secondly, because men drink less of that which is mingled as liking not so well of it as of that which is not tempered, and thirdly, that which is impermixt and without mingling is hotter and digesteth the residue of the meat, which is in the stomach, sooner, than the delayed Wine is able to do.  
thirdly, Why doth Wine which is unmingled with water sooner 'cause a man's head to ache then that which is mingled? The unmingled Wine is thick, and sticketh in the passages, sending up the vapours and fumes with heat into the head: and the mingled Wine being thinner and also delayed, both pierceth sooner, and fumeth less.  
Fourthly, what is the cause that mingled wine moveth a man more to vomit then the clean wine doth? The swiming of the waterishness of it about the stomach, procureth loathsomeness, and maketh apt to vomit.  
Fifthly, why do not children which are hot of complexion, love wine, which aged persons, and men of perfect strength being hot also, do greedily desire? Men are hot and dry, and children hot and moist, and the desire unto Wine is the appetite unto moisture, which moisture abunding in children keepeth them from drinking, and the drieth which is in aged men & strong persons, provoketh them to a desire of drink.  
Sixtly, when wine is cleansed from the Lees why is it stronger and not durable? Macrobius in his Saturnalia the fourth book, 
Macrobius  writeth that having no strength nor matter to cleave unto, it is on every side exposed unto dangers: for the Lees is as it were the root whereby the Wine is strengthened & preserved?  
seventhly, why doth wine immoderately taken engender both hot and cold diseases? It is to be noted that there be two qualities in Wine: the first is to heaten, and in this respect it rather procureth hot then cold sicknesses: the second is to stuff the brain, and to fill the sinews. Thus when cold vapours arise from the Wine, they 'cause unlustiness, fullness, and undigestion, and consequently procure cold diseases.  
Eightly, Whether doth Wine engender most of Fleame or Blood? Seeing as we have before concluded Wine breedeth cold humours, doubtless it breedeth also more Fleame then any other humour. The reason is, that when wine is quaffed in great abundance, it is not perfectly digested & causeth likewise the residue of the meat to fail in concoction, thereby engendering abundance of Fleame: But indeed if it be moderately drunken, it increaseth blood above other humours.  
ninthly, Doth Wine hurt the brain? Isaac saith yea. 
Isaac. Galen.  And Galen also affirmeth that it hurteth the brain, and helpeth the stomach. And albeit that at the first drinking wine doth properly warm, yet because it fumeth much, it annoyeth the brain, filling it with vapours and stopping the sinews.  
Tenthly, Why doth strong Wine hurt the brain and comfort the stomach, and weak wine worketh the contrary effect? Because Wine heateth the stomach whereon consisteth digestion, strong Wine is of greater effect in this case than is the weak. But again, how much stronger the Wine is, so much the more it sendeth vapours up into the head, so that the strength thereof breedeth inconvenience.  
eleventhly, Why doth the use of Wine engender the sour gulping or belching in the stomach, more than water? The sour belching never happeneth in the stomach but when digestion is beegun, and Wine stirreth up natural heat, and is as soon digested as Milk. Wherefore, like as when they be out of the stomach they soon wax sour: so do they likewise in the stomach.  
twelve, Whether doth wine or meat comfort natural calidity? Isaac saith that wine doth, and the reason is, because it is very swiftly converted into natural heat, 
Isaac.  comforting it much more than any meat doth. But meat when it is converted into nutriment, doth more restore that which is lost, and comforteth and preserveth the body longer.  
Thirtenthly, and lastly, If wine must needs be given unto the sick, whether were it most expedient to give them new wine or old? Although the common people do contrary and much amiss, yet new wine is far more wholesome for them then old. The reason is, for that how much the newer the wine is, so much the less it is inflative or windy, and for that cause is more convenient for them, then are the old wines.   

The 9 chap. Of Flesh: containing. 4. quest.  
HEnceforward now let us see what may be said of Flesh. And first it may demanded, why strong Flesh is soon digested? It is answered in the Saturn. that natural heat is strong in a man which stoutly invadeth the matter and substance which resisteth it, consuming & dissolving the same, and that which is tender & light it burneth sooner into ashes, then turneth it into juice. For like as sound wood being hewn in to pieces is soon converted into coals, & if chaff fall into the fire there scarce remaineth any ashes thereof to be found: so fareth it in the digestion of strong and light meats. So likewise an heavy millstone breaketh the greatest corns, and letteth the small depart whole. The strong winds also throw down high Firtrees & mighty Oaks to the ground, & letteth the low shrubs, & bushes to stand: Even so natural heat digesteth the hard flesh, and overpasseth the fine and tender nutriment.  
Secondly, Why be Culliss which are made of Flesh, harder of digestion than the flesh itself? The lightness which it getteth by pounding, causeth it to swim upon the top of all kind of moisture which it findeth in the stomach, so that it cannot cleave unto the sides of the stomach, the truth whereof is perceived if some portion of the cullis be thrown into water, for it will always fleet upon the top, and for that cause is the slowlier concocted in the stomach.  
Thirdly, which is moister of roasted or sodden flesh? We must answer hereunto with Aristotle in the. 4. book of the Meteors, 
Aristotl●.  that the roasted is moistest: for in roast flesh by reason of the fire the outward parts are hardened, and consequently the the pores are stopped, so that the inmost moisture cannot issue forth. But in sodden flesh the outward pores are resolved through the heat and moisture of the water, and so opened that all the moisture departeth. Thus it happeneth that roasted flesh seemeth dry without and is moist within, and sodden flesh contrariwise. Fourthly, why do the beams of the Moon cause flesh sooner to putrefy, then of the Sun? There can be no putrefaction unless heat and moisture do meet. And the putrefaction of flesh is nothing else but a certain secret dissolution converting the sodility of the flesh into moisture. And heat if it be temperate, nourisheth humours, but being immoderate drieth them up, & doth extenuate. So that the Sun being hot, draweth all the moisture out of the flesh and drieth it. But the beams of the Moon, in whom there is no manifest heat but an hidden warmth, increasing the moisture, engendereth quickly therein great putrefaction. For there abideth in the beams of the Moon a certain natural propriety to moisten bodies, & to imbrue them as it were with a misty dew, whereunto the heat which she hath being joined, corrupteth the flesh which lieth any time in it.   

The. 10. chap. Of Eggs, containing. 9 quest.  
THis Chapter requireth now some special treatise of Eggs, wherein the first question which offereth itself most fitly to be demanded, is this: which is the hotter of the yolk or the white? Among all humours blood is warmest in temperate warmth, so that the yolk as coming nearest unto the blood, is surely the warmer. Moreover, the Liver is hotter than the breasts, and the blood warmer than the milk, and the yolk in the egg is in temperature unto the white, as is the blood in the Liver.  
Secondly, why doth the yolk being cast into water, sink down to the bottom, and the white fleet on top? The white is very slimy, and cleaveth unto that which is next unto it, and by reason of the slimines swimmeth above the water, and the yolk because of the soundness and want of pores, sinketh down.  
Thirdly, why have birds fewer eggs and bigger than the fishes, and they have more and smaller than birds? The greatness in a thing which is continual, 
Avicen.  is procured by a strong heat: but a multitude in that which is divided is long of the matter, because the matter is the beginning of division. And because birds have more heat than fishes have, therefore have they great eggs in continual, and but few in division, and contrariwise it fareth in fishes.  
Fourthly, why have birds eggs an hard shell, and fishes eggs a soft? Fishes lay their eggs in a moist place, and therefore they need no hard shell. But birds lay their eggs in hard and sound places, as upon the ground, stones, trees, and such like, and therefore have need of an hard shell to keep them from hurt, until such time as the chick or bird be hatched.  
Fiftly, why are birds eggs speckled and of diverse colors, and it is not so in fishes? In birds there is a strong natural heat which is able to separate things of diverse natures asunder, as the yolk from the white, and in fishes this heat is so weak that it is not able to work the like effect.  
Sixtly, why are birds eggs long, and fishes eggs round? Heat moveth from the centre, and especial causeth a form like a pillar, broad beneath and sharp above, as appeareth in flame of a fire which riseth up into a sharp point. Wherefore, heat being more abundant in birds then in fishes, the birds Eggs are long, and fishes round, for the weak heat carrieth the matter equally round.  
seventhly, what breaketh the eggshell when the chick is hatched? There be two causes hereof alleged, the one is, for that by long and continual lying the shell waxeth soft and thin, as it is if an egg be steeped nine days in vinegar: the second is, for that when the young bird lacketh nutriment, he breaketh the shell to seek meat.  
Eightly, why doth the yolk of an egg which is laid in the full of the moon, and in the light thereof, 
Rhasis.  scour spots out of cloth? The fatty drop in the mids of the egg being the means of the generation, conceiveth a piercing and a dividing heat both by the great light, and the moisture which the Moon moveth, which it can not do at another time.  
ninthly, why do some eggs crack when they be laid into the fire and some not? Such crack as have within them windiness, which is perceived when the shell reaveth, to issue forth with great noise and force. And this happeneth when the fire is great. For if a birds egg were cast into the mids of the fire, the shell would soon break, & the windiness would start forth with great noise and force, which it would not do if the fire were small. But proportionably, there is much more windiness in the eggs of fishes, and therefore they make a great noise when they be cast into the fire, as appear for example in the row of an hearing.   

The. 11. chap. Of Fishes, containing 4. Questions.  
NOw let us a little come to demand a few questions concerning the nature of Fishes, and first, whether Fishes do feed upon their own fry or not? whereto it is to be answered affirmatively, both because they be ravenous by reason of their cold stomachs, and also because they have blunt senses and cannot discern their own fry from other, devouring up all a like.  
Secondly, do Fishes chaw their meat? Not, for if they did, superfluous water would enter into them with their meat, and suffocate them. Again, they be ravenous, and feed greedily and eat down their meat whole as it cometh.  
Thirdly, why doth the rain profit fishes, and hurt birds? Sweet water nourisheth only, and therewith are fishes nourished being mingled with mud and clay. As for birds they live in the air, and seek their living by flying about, and the feathers of their wings will clod and cleave together with the rain, and so are hindered in their flying. Whereof it may be gathered, that abundance of rain hurteth aswell fishes as fowls, for in such times they fall into oppilations of the nutritive parts, by reason of the sweetness of such water. For sweet things, as saith Galen, do stop the parts nutritive.  
Fourthly, Why do the Roes of fishes crackle more in the fire then other things do? When the fire is so hot that it resolveth more than it consumeth then do they break in the fire, as it also appeareth by the example of the chestnut: But when it is so temperate that it consumeth as much as it resolveth, then do they neither réeve nor break: besides that fishes eggs or Roes do crackle by reason of windiness included within them, which issuing forth at a little hole, causeth a noise.   

The 12. Chap. Of Pultes or Podware containing. 3. Questions.  
NExt we may take a convenient occasion to dispute of Podware, 
Galen  or grains contained in a Cod or shalt, wherein we may first demand the reason, why Galen supposeth that such as use to feed on that kind of ware are much subject unto the gout? And the cause is for that being hard and windy, they be of evil digestion and are soon turned into phlegm, and of phlegm springeth the gout.  
Secondly, beans being windy, why do they not loose that evil quality by boiling, as well as barley? Beans are naturally more windy than barley. Or this may be the cause, for that beans are of a harder, more compact and gross substance than barley which is light and hover, and is sooner discharged of the windiness. 
Isaac. Galen.  Whereupon saith Isaac according unto the doctrine of Galen, we cannot altogether take away the windiness from beans, but we may diminish it by boiling them.  
Thirdly, may Lentils prepared with vinegar, be ministered in sharp diseases? Avicen holdeth opinion that they may, 
Avicen.  but Galen denieth it. And therefore it is thus to be understood, that Lentils prepared with vinegar are noisome in a Fever with impostumation, because they fret and bind the passages, which thing Galen meaneth. But in a Fever without impostumation, by reason of contrariety they be good, as Avicen understandeth it.   

The 13. Chap. Of Pot herbs, and Salad herbs. containing. 6. Questions.  
HEreafter now ensueth to discourse with like brevity concerning a few usual herbs, where as first the cause and reason may be required, why Coleworts do dissolve drunkenness? Aristotle answereth hereunto in the third part of his problems, 
Aristotle.  that Coleworts yield a sweet juice, and contain a purgative faculty, the effect whereof Physicians use to prove in the ministering of emollient Glisters, so that by the same virtue it draweth the supefluous & indigested matter from of the wine or drink in those that be drunken. For this being left in the uppermost part of the belly, the body waxeth cold, which being cold, the thinnest part of the moisture is conveyed into the bladder. Wherefore the body being rid of this double moisture, must needs be discharged of the surfeit.  
Secondly, why doth Purcelain take away the benumbing, or edge of the teeth? The same Aristotle also in the second part of his work before named, saith that the slimines of Purcelain entering within the teeth, draweth forth the sharpness which is the cause of beenumming, and likewise milk melting about the teeth, hath the same effect.  
Thirdly, why do Leeks and Onions prospero best in dry ground, and worst in moist? It is also to be answered by the same Author in the first part of the problems, as all that is milted by hot and dry is of the nature of water as appeareth by all kinds of Metals. And Earth is turned into Salt, when it is cleansed from the dross in moisture and burning heat, and drieth congeling and hardening it, so that Salt is a certain dryness of the earth burned by an heat into a waterish hardness, whereby the taste thereof cometh near unto bitterness, which is engendered of heat working upon an earthly dry substance. Then being of this nature, by heat it is hot and dry, and by reason of the bitterness it killeth the belly worms, and by drithe it drinketh up putrefying moisture, abolishing the same, and consequently prohibiting all stinking. Now because it drieth, and consumeth moisture and heat, it hindereth generation and fruitfulness of the ground, and because it hath a sharpness of a burning heat, it sharpeneth the things that are mingled with it. And because it hath a certain bitter dryness, the taste thereof is loathsome, and provoketh thirst by reason of drieth, and because of the sharpness it dissolveth, and being mingled with other sauces maketh them pierce into the tongue, and so it hateth other tastes. Moreover Salt hath a certain marvelous nature, which is to draw forth the like unto itself, out of another thing. For if powdered Fish or flesh which is very salt be laid to sook in brine which is newly made, it draweth the saltness out of it sooner than fresh water doth.  
Lastly, Why doth Salt crackle when it is cast into the fire? According unto the same doctrine in the fourth of the Meteors, Salt is of substance earthy combust mingled with water and therefore it crackleth when it is thrown into the fire. But if you would know the cause why Salt preserveth flesh from corruption, read it before in the discourse of flesh.   

The. 16. Chap. Of Honey: containing 2. Questions.  
Among many other we must not forget to say somewhat of Honey, and first to demand this question therein, which is the better of new or old Honey? The choice in Honey and Wine is quite contrary, for the newest Honey, and oldest Wine is preferred according unto Macrobius judgement. 
Macrob.  The cause hereof is this, for that the nature of wine is moist and of Honey dry, as the proof appeareth in the use of Physic, for things which are to be moistened, must be fomented with Wine: and such as are to be dried, must be cleansed with Honey. Thus in continuance of time there is some part of them both consumed away, and the Wine waxeth stronger, and the Honey drier.  
Secondly, If honey be put into a Wine vessel why do the Lees rise up unto the top of the Honey, whereas whatsoever else is put in, the Lees as the heavier substance always keepeth the bottom? The drags or Lees, as being the most earthly and heaviest part of the substance, fall down to the bottom, and yet are overcome by Honey, for Honey naturally by reason of the weight thereof, falleth down to the bottom, and driveth up the lees as lighter than itself.   

The. 17. Chapter Of Oil, containing. 3. Questions.  
NOw lastly we come to the consideration of Oil, where these questions are to be moved.  
First, wherefore fleeteth Oil in the top, wine in the mids, and Honey in the bottom? The better the Honey is, the heavier it is: and that which lieth in the bottom is always the best, and in Wine that is, chiefest which lieth in the middle not troubled with the lees, nor above corrupted by the air. For the husband men of the country, not contented only to cover their vessels abroad, hide them up in the ground, and defend them from external hurt, preserving them as much as is possible from taking the air, wherewith they be so manifestly annoyed, that sometime the whole full vessels are almost corrupted. Wherefore the Wine which is in the mids of the vessel, being farthest from the air and the lees in the bottom is best, as farthest distant from two noisome neighbours.  
Secondly, why doth Oil amend in goodness, which is preserved in a vessel but half full? The air filleth up the other voided place of the vessel, and drieth up the superfluous moisture which aboundeth in the oil, which being taken away it getteth a new sweetness in the taste.  
Thirdly, why doth Oil congeal, but wine very seldom? Oil is a smother and thicker substance than wine is, and therefore more apt to congeal: but wine is nothing so soft, & besides is much more liquid. And whereas upon occasion hereof it may be replied, why vinegar which is passing cold doth not freeze, when other things do which are not so cold: Surely it may also be answered by the same reason, for that among all liquors it is the thinnest, sharp also and eager, which is some hindrance, as it is evident if we take the sea for example, which by occasion of the bitterness and saltness thereof, is kept from congealing. And now also of purpose a little to digress, what is the cause that Pepper and Mustard being applied unto the outside of the skin do blister and inflame the place, but received into the stomach they offend very little, or not at all? Sharp spices and drugs do exulcerate the upper most part of the skin because they be thereto applied in their full virtue without the mixture of any thing else with them: but being eaten down into the stomach, their force is delayed by the moisture of the belly, so that they be altered by the heat which is there, before that they be able to do any harm.  
FINIS.    

❧ The fourth Book, of Table Philosophy, which compriseth many merry honest jests, delectable devices, and pleasant purposes, to be used for delight and recreation, at the board among company.  

The Preface.  
In this fourth Book we intent to set down somewhat concerning honest mirth, and pleasant recreation in words, whereby men are refreshed, at the table. For as saith Aristotle in the fourth book of his Ethics, In this life if at any time we have the liberty to live in rest & quietness, and to refresh ourselves with any pastime, we aught therein to frequent comely and courteous speech, and to behave ourselves gently, so that a man's words and deeds do tend unto delight, disposing himself to utter himself accordingly, and to bear the merry deeds and words of others. Upon which place, Albertus in his Commentary saith: Every man that is given to study hath need of recreation that his wit be not wholly overthrown. For whoso evermore applieth his study, and bendeth his mind always to practise or look upon sumthinge: doubtless his spirits shallbe resolved, and the animal power be destroyed, and the proper functions of the parts surcease: which parts being destitute, then is the force of study brought to ruin. In consideration whereof those which are studious, and much troubled with affairs, have need of rest, wherein their spirits may be released, and their senses resolved in some pleasure. For like as in the common course of our life nature wanteth sleep, so in study and travail, rest is semblably needful. But who so is a student, or wearied with honest exercise, to such is none other then honest recreation acceptable: which plainly consisteth in such words & deeds as are not repugnant to virtue, but stir up the delight of our affection. For look how bodily weariness is cured by bodily rest: so is tediousness of the mind assuaged by pleasure of recreation, which is also a certain resting of the mind. As it i● read in a certain writer, that as there was a man of ripe years, and much addicted unto contemplation; playing for his delight among children which he taught: there came one by, who beholding the same, mocked him to scorn. Then said this good man, why mockest thou? bend thy bow, which thou hast in thy hand, and he did so. Nay, bend it more quoth he: I dare not said the other for fear of breaking it. Even so, quoth he, it fareth with my mind: For unless I should refresh it with some pla●e: it would fail me, and be quite extinguished. And therefore it is expedient to use honest recreation▪ by means whereof to recreate a man's mind, as namely after godly studies, and painful travails And among many it is a pretty kind of solace and delight, to use witty invectives & quips one at another at the table, so that the wit therein be exercised, not by biting: but by sharpening one another. Or whether it were in pleasant questions or picked devices, whereby the one provoketh another to break silence. Or else in pleasant tales or histories, wherewith the hearers are delighted, and made merry.   

Chap 1. Of pleasant quips, and taunts.  

Macrobius.  ACcording to the doctrine of Macrobius in his fourth book of Saturnalia, there be two kinds of quips, or invectives. The one a plain railing, or chacking. The other a figuratively shadowed speech covered cleanly with mirth & civilyty, sounding one thing, & covertly meaning another, but not proceeding to express bitterness. The first kind is altogether to h●e banished the table. For as the same author writeth, like as a little thrust driveth down him that standeth upon a narrow footing: so a small grief being sprinkled and bathed with wine, will soon drive a man into madness. The other kind which is covert, may also be sauced with sharpness. The like whereof is reported of Octavianus, who seemed to be a noble man of birth. Before whom when on a time Cicero pronounced somewhat, I heard not what you said, quod Octavianus. That is marvel said Cicero, since your ears were wont to be so well boored, which he spoke for this cause, for that Octavianus was borne in Lybia, where the manner of the people was to make holes through their ears. This kind of nipping, because it is next neighbour to railing: aught amongst wise men to be avoided at the table. But some there is which hath in it less sharpness, as that which Cicero used against Gneus Servilius, which was Consul but one day. In foretimes, quod Cicero, Flamines were but for one day, and now the Consuls be so. And again, when Fannius had been Consul but a few days: then said Cicero: there happened a great wonder in Fannius year, for when he was Consul, there was neither Winter, nor Spring, nor Summer, nor Harvest. And when Fannius demanded of him, why he came not to see him while he was sick in his consulship: he answered, I would have come, but the night came to fast upon me. These, and such other like may be used, which touch certain faults and deformities of the body, which engender little or no grief at all, as are the crookedness, rising up, or flatness of the nose.  
Certain nips and girds, do seem at the first appearance to have some reproochefulnesse or slander in them, and yet they do not touch the hearers, as this is. When Quintus Lucius said unto his friend which sat by him, that his hands were cold, then said his friend: that is great marvel having brought them warm so lately out of the Province. Wherewith Quintus was much delighted, for that he was without all suspicion of thee very, whereas contrariwise, if he had spoken it unto one that had b●●ne guilty and privy of his own theft: it would have much troubled him.  
Or if a man should say unto one that liveth very chastened, he loveth a whore as well as you, it should much delight him. Contrariwise, if you should say unto a coward or timorous person, thou art as hardy as ever was Achilles, or Hercules, or unto some notorious naughty person, I account thee more vicious than ever was Aristides: these words do sound as a praise, when as indeed they be plain discommendation. Also in the uttering of a nip or invective: it is well commended if he which speaketh it be also of the same condition. As if a poor man mock at a poorer than himself for poverty, or one that is borne of base parentage, flout at another as meanly borne as himself: as did one Tharseus, who from a Gardener coming unto some better calling, flouted at his old friend and acquaintance which was blind & of base parentage: but immediately he added: And I also am borne of the same seed. There be moreover some kind of nips, which do not only not displease the hearers: but make them merry. The like whereof Diogenes cast forth against Aristenes his master, saying: This man of a rich man hath made me poor, and from a fair house, hath brought me to devil in a Tub. For by these words he uttered better his sense and meaning, then if he had said, I thank my master that hath made me a Philosopher, and a man perfectly fraught with all virtue.   

Chap. 2. Of speeches convenient for every kind of person.  
THe assembling together of men for honest mirth & banqueting, 
Macrobius.  as it is commendable, so aught it not to be dumb, and without words, as saith Macrobius. And who so is desirous to be a pleasant companion, and a provoker unto talk, and delectable devices: must demand such questions as are easy to be resolved, and wherein he knoweth the party to have some skill and exercise. For every man is glad when he is provoked to utter his knowledge in that wherein he is skilful, and would not willingly have his ●unning hid wherein he hath travailed, which is perhaps unknown unto the residue, be it Divinity, Physic, Astronomy, Law, or such like. For herein he seemeth to have attained unto some end of his study, when he hath gotten fit occasion to utter that which he hath read, without suspicion of ostentation, wherewith he can not be touched, when he speaketh, not intruding himself, but being thereto required. Again, it is a great grief, and a point of discourtesy, to demand a question of a man in some matter wherein he is ignorant, and that also in company. For he is then either enforced to confess his ignorance, or to answer unadvisedly, or to commit himself to the hazard of a true or false event. Such as have travailed far by land and Sea, are glad when they be asked of the situation of far Countries, or of the working of the wild Seas. Captains and Soldiers do willingly blazon their own valiant acts, yea, sometime without any motion of arrogancy. And generally, every man rejoiceth to discourse of his own dangers & troubles, which he hath passed in his life. If thou canst, provooke him often to talk, who hath been many times favourably entertained of great personages, or hath accomplished embassages with happy success, or hath been honourably entertained of the Prince: or who so having been beset by Pirates, among the whole fleet of his fellows, hath himself only escaped away by his wit & valiancy. It will like some man well to declare if thou require him, the sudden felicity of his friend, which he would not utter of his own accord, and yet is loath to suppress it, for fear of suspicion of envy. He that loveth hunting, is delighted to talk of Hounds, forests, Chases, and the event of hunting. If there be any religious person present, as Monk, or Friar, give him leave to gloze of his own holiness, how he may deserve well of God, what is the commodity of Ceremonies, and what rewards are promised unto the devout fulfyllers of the same. But if there be ever an old man in the company, you shall do him a great pleasure to ask him of such matters as are nothing to the purpose, for that age is much given to talk, as witnesseth Macrobius. All these and such like things may be invented to delight and procure the whole assembly to talking, and to fall unto variable communication, of what calling so ever they be.   

Chap. 3. Of apt pleasant words.  
Sweet and pleasant words do cheer the feast no less than Wine, as is the old saying. For if this delightsome provocation be mingled with opportunity, it persuadeth more than doth any herb mingled with the Wine, or whatsoever enchantment it be, not not the best juices which are brought out of India or Arabia, are of so great effect. For this is the charm wherewith that fair Helen of Greece, alured her amorous gheast, and turned him from sorrow to joy, even the opportunity to utter her pleasant discourses. Whereby it is evident, that pleasant words and apt sayings, not exceeding the bounds of honesty, do much cheer the table, & solace the company. And now to speak of antiquity, there be two very eloquent companions, saith Macrobius, to wit, Cicero & Plautus, excelling all other in delightful conversation, where he bringeth in certain places out of Cicero to the same purport, as this is, that on a time it happened that Cicero supped at the house of Damasippus the Philosopher, who setting a little wine of Falernum before him: said, drink ye of this wine which is forty year old: surely, quoth Cicero, it beareth his age well. Likewise being desired to dinner by a friend of his (for commonly he denayd none that requested him in that behalf) which was but simple & ordinary, when he was coming away & taking leave, he rounded the master of the house in the ear, saying: I knew not before that we two were so familiar and coming also on a time unto Pompeius' house, some that were there before, said that he came to late: Nay not so said Cicero, for I see nothing previded. Likewise seeing Lentulus his son in law, a man of small stature, going with a long sword by his side: who, quod Cicero hath tied my son in law to a sword? The same beholding the counterfeit of his brother Quintus Cicero set forth very large, and in a great portraiture, and Quintus himself being a man but of a very small scantling: half my brother said he, is bigger than the whole. After the victory which Caesar obtained Cicero being demanded how he was so deceived in taking part: answered thus: his girting deceived me, testing at the manner of Caesar, who was wont to let his gown trail down after him, going somewhat wanton & ●ff●minatly in apparel In so much that Sylla foreseeing what might haply ensue, said on a time unto Pompeius, take heed of that ungyrted boy. Laberius passing by Cicero and faking a place to sit on: I would give you part of my place then quod Cicero, but that I sit in a narrow room, thereby both disdaining him, & jesting also at the new Senate, the number whereof Caesar had augmented beside right and order. Howbeit he carried it away not s●otree: for Laberius answerered him home again, saying: It is marvel that you sit so narrowly, which use to sit on two stools at one time, thereby reproaching Cicerces' lightness. Therefore, for as much as these and such like jests, do provoke laughter and delight, in them that hear them: I have purposed to fill this fourth part with the like, according to sundry estates of persons, drawing them forth of allowable aucthorityes, and disposing them in a convenient order, and beginning eftsoons with the greatest personages.   

Chap. 4. Of Emperors, and their merry jests.  
MAcrobius writeth, that Augustus the Emperor was delighted in jesting, having always respect of his honour, and honesty. 
Macrobius.  And many marveled more at the jests and quips which he bore, than those which he gave. On a time when he saw a graver graving a tomb for his father: In deed quod Augustus this is the true reverensing and culture of the father's sepulchre. When he heard that king Herode among the children which were but two months old, whom he slew for Christ's sake, had also killed his own son, said, that he had rather be Herodes hog then his son. There came unto Rome a certain young Gentleman very like unto Augustus, whom when the Emperor had seen, be demanded of him if his mother had sometime been at Rome or not? Not quoth the Gentleman, but my father hat been often. When Augustus had written certain invectives against Pillio: but I will hold my peace quoth Pillio, for it is a shrewd matter to writ against him that can banish me. Then one as he was passing by, said, there goeth a tyrant: Augustus turned about, & answered, if I were one, thou wouldst not dare to say so. One night as he lay in a village in the country, an Owl troubled him so with her crying, that he could not sleep. But when one of the soldiers going forth had taken the Owl, he commended his industry, & commanded that he should ha●e a thousand pence given him for a reward. Which the soldier mistyking of said he had rather that she should live, & so let her fly. Who will not marvel how this saucy soldier could escape so well, having offended an Emperor? Lucan, the Poet reporteth, that when ●●● that was inferior unto julius Caesar euert●, war●ed him in certain matters, he answered him saying:  
Not stare whereto thou canst aspire,  
Can make thee wothie Caesar's y●e.  

Of a necromancer that deluded a noble man.  There is a story told of a certain Necromancer, who had a noble man to his Scholar, that promised him many great gifts and bountiful rewards. Whom the master meaning to try what he would do in deed, wrought so by his art that he seemed unto himself that he was elected Emperor. And having thus obtained much land and living as he thought, his master desired him to bestow some part thereof upon him. Why quoth his Scholar, I know thee not. Then said the master, I am he that hat hath given you all these riches, and now I will take them away again, and there withal caused the vision to surcease, and then he found himself to be in case as he was before. Thus many men promise' many goodly matters, which they never mean to perform.  

The determination of Frederick the Emperor.  Frederick the Emperor lying in siege before the City of Mill●yn, determined if he might take it, to slay man, woman, and child. Then answered the Earl of Subandia, saying, that his Majesty had yet a greater conquest then that in hand, which he must also obtain. What is that, quoth the Emperor? truly said the Earl, your own will and courage of mind. Which saying the Emperor having well digested within himself, altered his determination, & granted them all their lives.   

Chap. 5. Of Kings, and their sundry merry jests.  
THe noble Seneca, in his book which he wrote of anger, showeth that ●ing Antiochus, hearing certain of his subjects evil reporting of him, & railing against him in a place where there was nothing but a curtain drawn between them that spoke, and him that hard: he gently reproved their folly, as it had been some other man, saying unto them, departed from hence lest the king hear you.  

How king Alexander would kill the Ass driver.  Valerius in the seventh book & third Chapter. Writeth, that king Alexander being warned by an Oracle, that whomsoever he met when he walked forth of the Gate, he should command him to be slain, seeing a driver of Asses, coming a far of, willed immediately that he should be killed. Then the poor Ass driver ask the cause why he should be put to death nothaving offended, they answered, that it was the commandment of the Oracle. Then quoth the Ass driver, If it be so, O king, then hath this lot fallen upon another & not on me, for the Ass which I drove before me met with you first. Then king being delighted with this subtle answer, and seeing how he was revoked from his error, saved the man, & commanded the Ass to be slain.  
When the people of Athens would have yielded divine honours unto Alexander, beware quod Demades, that whiles ye keep heaven, ye lose not ●he earth. 
Of the va●let that told king Philip that he was his kinsman.  A certain poor varlet meeting with Philip the king, desired him to give him somewhat for that he was of h●s kindred. Which way said the king? Marry quod the varlet, by our great grandfather Adam, Thou sayest true quod the king, and commanded that his men should give him a penny, Which when the varlet disdained at, saying, that it was no princely reward: The king answered, that if he should give so much unto every one that is as near of kin unto him, as he, he should leave nothing for himself.  
King Antiochus showing his mighty & excellently furnished army unto Hannibal, 
Another pleasant jest of king Antiochus.  asked him if he thought not that it was sufficient for the Romans? Yes surely quoth he, unless they be to covetous. pleasantly jesting at the kings saying, who asked him touching the number and strength of his army, and he answered of the spoil. Philip king of France, having certain poor priests with him at his table at dinner, 
Of the priest that took a capon from king Philip'S table, and how the king espied him.  perceived one that sat farthest of at the boards end conveying an whole Capon into his pocket. When dinner was ended, the king called him aside, and inquired of him secretly what he studied? who answered, Divinity. Why said the king, is it not written in the Scriptures, that you s●ould not be careful for meat against to morrow? yea said the Priest, and therefore because I would put away all carefulness, I have done this thing.   

Chap. 6. Of princes, and their merry jests  
IN the second book and second Chapter of the before alle●ged author Valerius, 
Of a gentle man that kissed the kings daughter in the open s●●ere.  there is set down an history of a young gentleman, who burning in the love of Philis●iatus d●ughter, which was Prince and Tyrant of Athens, and me●ting with her by chance: kissed her openly in the s●reete. For which ●●ct, his wife the queen dealt earnestly with him, to 'cause the young gentleman to be put to death. To whom he answered, if we kill them that love us, what shall we do unto them that bate us? Frontinus in the fourth book of his stratagems, sayeth, that it behoveth a Prince to be sage and ancient in behaviour, meaning, that he aught to follow grave and moderate counsel.  
Again, Valerius in the first book and third chapter writeth, that when Dionysius Prince of Syracuse, 
how Dionysius called him sel●e a robber.  having sacked the temple of Proserpina at Locris, passed the sea● with a merry wind and a prosperous course: he laughed unto his friends, saying: see what an happy journey the immortal gods have given to a thief, 
How king Dionysius stole a golden coat.  and a stealer of holy things. The same king taking from the Image of Jupiter, a golden coat of a great weight, and putting him on another of cloth, said, that the golden coat was to heavy for summer, and to cold for winter: and the woollen indifferent for both the seasons. Likewise he took away the golden platters and crowns which the Images held forth in their hands, 
How dionysius took the golden crowns from the images.  saying, that it was a folly to refuse their gifts which they offer us, of whom we require all kind of good things. S. Auste● in his work de Civitate Dei, writeth of Fabius the destroyer of the city of Tarentum, that when his secretary demanded of him what should be done with the images and pictures of the gods, which were many, and armed as though they were going to the wars? declaring his incontinency, he spoke gestingly saying: let us leave unto the Tarentines their angry gods.   

Chap. 7. Of Earls, and their merry jests  

How the Earl Subàdia answered the jews.  IN books of histories I find it written, that when certain Jews came unto the Earl of Suba●dia, desiring him that they might dwell within his dominions, he forbidden them, saying, that they had not yet made peace concerning the unjust death of their Lord, and therefore how dared they be so bold, as to come into his land? 
How the Earl Bellimo●t answered the priest that begged toll.  A certain religious man, required of the Earl of Bellimount for God's sake, to give some timber out of his Forest toward the making of seats in his Church. Then said a knight that was present, My Lord will consider of the matter. Nay quod the Earl, God forbidden that I should take any deliverance on this matter, since he asketh for God's sake, of whom I have received all that I have, and therefore let him take whatsoever he needeth for the service of God. A certain soldier desired an Earl, (his lord and master) to aid and help him to bring up his daughters, which were ten in number. Which request one of the Earls servants, a churlish fellow and very rich, hearing: excused his lord, and said, 
how a soldier got a hundred pounds of a churl.  that he had not where withal. yes said the Earl, I have thee, and I give thee unto him, and thou shalt give him an hundred pound to redeem thy liberty, and so he did. When the Earl of Bellimount was hardly besieged in a Castle by the Infidels, 
HOW the Earl Belimount over came the infidels that besieged him.  and determined to go forth with a few, and to fight for the faith of Christ against an infinite multitude: one of his soldiers said, that it was dangerous for a few to encounter with so great an host: then quoth the Earl, I would to God that as many as believe not in God, were here with them, and so by reason of his strong faith, be obtained over them a glorious victory.   

Cap. 8. Of knights, or soldiers, and their merry jests.  
Now must we give to understand, that whatsoever is here written of knights, is likewise to be applied unto the name of soldiers, for that the latin word, Miles, 
Of a knight that said that he was kin to niene kings.  is indifferent to them both, so that what so is said of one, may be applied to the other. But to come to the matter, I find it written in histories, that there was a certain noble knight, which gloried that he was of kin unto nine kings, whereof having named six, he could not devise the other three. Then a jester standing by said unto him, Sir, I know well the other three. O, well said friend (quoth the knight) I pray thee tell me which they be? Marry quoth the jester, the three kings of Collein. 

Of a knight that made the priest to wash afore him.  
Of a knight that said, it was good luck to meet a priest in a morning.    
A knight which made a feast, would have the priest to wash first: you do well said the priest to make us wash first, and sit down last: Yea, answered the knight, me thinks we do best, for of all other you aught to be first clean, and last drunk.  
A certain knight which was riding to a turneament, chanced to meet with a Priest by the way: and returning from the turneament, brought home a broken leg with him. And perceiving that the Priest came not to see him, demanded the cause of him: who answered, I was afraid that you had been angry with me because I met with you before you broke your leg, for it was counted ill luck to meet with a Priest, if a man were going forth to war, or to turneament. Nay said the knight, it was good luck for me, for if I had not met with you, 
Of the two knights that fought a combat  perhaps I had broken my neck. Two knights fought a combat for life which should slay the other, and when the one had overthrown the other the conqueror standing upon him, said unto those that stood by, some body take pity upon him. And when he had often called unto them, and no man would entreat for his life: then quoth this gentle knight, I myself will take compassion upon him, so he let him rise, and they shoo●e hands, and departed both together over the seas.  

Of a knight that asked a drunken Prior what ●ewes in the Abbey.  There was a knight which me●te with the Prior of his Parish, coming home very drunk from the Chapter which was held in the Abbey whereof he was, of whom he asked what news? The drunken Prior answered, a vengeance on this Abbey, for they were wont to have twelve dishes of meat at a dinner, and this day they had but eleven. Then answered the knight, If I had but two dishes of meat in my house, they would suffice me, and thou wretch as thou art, canst not be contented with eleven? surely I will give thee the twelfth, and there withal he threw him down in the dirt.  

Of a knight that desired to hear his wives confession.  There was a knight which desired much to hear his wives confession, which she denied him, because he had on neither Surplice nor Stole. And when he had gotten them, and put them on and disguised himself, he called her, and she confessed herself unto him, saying, that when she was young, she loved a young Gentleman, and afterward a Squ●re, and then a Knight, and next a Fool, and lastly a Priest. Then the knight hearing that, in a rage cast of the Surplice and the Stole, and asked her angrily, if that Priest were now living, and she said yea, requesting him that he would reveal it to no man. And after three days, when he had sufficiently bit on the bridle, and vexed himself: she came unto him and said, Dear husband, understand, that that which I said unto you in my confession, I spoke it for the nonce, and I told you the truth: for first when I was married unto you, you were a young gentleman, and afterward a Squire, than were you dubbed a Knight, and after that, you become a fool, because you coveted to understand such matters of your faithful Lady, and now lastly you are become a Priest, for you have heard my confession. Frontinus in his first book, writeth, that when Scipio landed in Africa, coming forth of the ship, he fell down to the ground, and because his soldiers should not be afraid, Hear ye my soldiers said he, I have now taken all Africa.   

Cap. 9 Of Squires and armour bearers, and their merry jests.  
QVintus Curtius in his history of Alexander the great, writeth, 
Quincut Curtius.  that when Alexander fought with Darius, there was a Persian who putting on the armour of a Macedonian soldier, came behind Alexander, and struck him on the head, 
How king Alexander forgave the armourer that w●uld have killed him.  but his helmet was so hard, that the stroke glanced away, and did him no harm. Then being apprehended and brought before the king, and demanded why he had done so: answered, that Darius and he had covenanted, that if he could kill Alexander, he should then marry his daughter, and have part of his kingdom. Then Alexander liking well of the covenant, and praising his adventure, suffered him to departed safe to his company.  
A certain Squire offered himself unto a king to serve him, saying, that he was very sturdy, and bold. On a time seeing rain lying upon the kings head, he would have beaten it of, and as he was doing, the king boughed with his mouth, to make him afraid. Then he immediately lifted up his hand, 

Of a knight that gave the King a box in the ear.  
Of two Squires, that were sworn fellows.   and gave him a box on the ear, that he cast him to the ground, saying, wilt thou eat me up? But when the other servants would have apprehended him, the king bid them let him alone, saying, I took him into my service because he promised me that he was boold. Two Squires were sworn fellows, concerning all their gains and pray, whereof one went into turneament, and gained much, the other went not, but required his my Lord said the poor man, 
Of a lawyer that took away a poor man's cow.  if you hear him speak, then have I surely lost my Cow in deed. An Advocate ●ntred into the Cisterian order, and was set to keep sheep. In a time when great trouble arose in the Abbey, there was none found that could give any good counsel, but he only. At the length, being called and required, 
Of the Advocate that was set to keep ●hep.  wherefore he meddled not with the Monastery matters, answered, O brethren, God giveth abroad in the world, and the Abbot in the order of religion.  
A certain Earl going forth on Pilgrimage, put his lawyer in trust with his wife, while he should be absent: When the Earl was departed, the Lawyer began earnestly to solicit her to consent to his incontinent lust: whereunto, because she would not agreed, 
Of a lawyer that was put in trust with an Earl's wife  he withdrew from her her meat and apparel, and other necessaries appertaining unto her necessary furniture. At length fearing jest she should be starved, and that the people would think that it came through some evil desert of hers, granted to consent unto him, and sent her handmaid to bed unto him in her steed. And when he had taken his pleasure of her he cut her finger, which the Lady hearing, tread a linen cloth about her own finger. Now, when the Earl was returned, and this bawdy Lawyer thought to have shamed the Lady before her Lord, she disproved his treachery, and proved him a liar, saying, Look whose finger is cut, & she it is that lay with you, and there withal she plucked away the cloth, and showed her finger that was whole. A certain Lawyer had taken sees of both parties, in a controversy: of one, a Cow, of the other, an Ox. 
Of the client that bid his lawyer speak Ox.  Now when he should plead for him that had given him the Ox, he was dumb, and could not speak. Then said the Client, Speak Ox, and he answered, The Cow will not suffer me. 
Of the country man that asked his Laweir a months ●espite to pay him his Coselinges.  A man of the country desired an Advocate to teach him the best word belonging to an Advocate, and he would give him a certain number of goslings for a reward. Then said the Advocate, whatsoever is asked of thee in judgement, deny it, and require a longer time to answer, although thou know it w●ll already. N●w when the Advocate sent his servants for the Goselinges, the countryman denied them, saying that he owed him none.  
But at length confessing the debt he required a longer term to pay him, which was an whole year after.  
A certain Lawyer which obtained the upper hand in all causes, become a Monk, 
Of a lawyer which become a Monk.  and being made solicitor for the Abbey, all matters went against him. And when the Abbot was much displeased therewith, he said unto him, my Lord be not angry, for now I dare not lie and face as I have done before, and therefore I lose all matters that are committed unto me.  
And Advocate being very sick, 
Of an advocate that would he●● judgement, before he would receive the communion.  his friends that were about him thought it expedient for him to receive the Communion ere he died. Then said he, I will hear judgement whether it were best for me to do so or not. Then said his friends we judge it best. But I appeal from your sentence (quoth he) for you are not my judges, and so died. And an old verse there is written of lawyers many a year ago:  
I have heard some which made their moan,  
That lawyers friendly are to none.  
But whether that be true or no:  
It is not lawful to say so.   

Chap. 12. Of Merchant men, buyers and sellers.  
A Proper jest of a certain Merchant that would never come to Church, nor hear sermons, 
Of a Marchā● that did not love to go to Church.  and being moved often times by his wife thereto, said always unto her, go thou for us both. On a night he dreamt that he was called into judgement, and seeing his wife with many other holly folks entering in at the door of the celestial joy, and he likewise would have gone in with them: the porter put him back, and said, she shall go in for you both. Thus he tareing without, awaked with sorrow and grief and aterward lead a godlier life. 
Of a Merchant that wrought a state to try his wives falsehood.   
A certain Merchant having occasion to travail beyond the sea, who had a fair woman to his wife, which he had somewhat in jealousy: At his home coming, demanded of his wife, between jest and good earnest, how often she had made him cuckold since he went: who answered that she had not done it at all, well (quoth he) I shall know it on Sunday when I come at church: how can you (quoth she) marry said he, look how often you did it, so many horns will appear on my head at church: well then (quoth she) try it a gods name: This merchant in the mean time got a company of sheeps horns, found the means to make them stick in the hear of his head, and when Sunday came his wife and he went to church together, and coming to church, either of them went to their own Pew. And as soon as the merchant had said his prayers he took preevely one of the sheeps horns and stuck it on his head, and by and by his wife spied it, but she said nothing, within a little while after he privily stuck on another, and his wife spied it, and yet said nothing, the marchante within a while stuck on the third horn: At last, the wife perceived the horns to grow up so fast, stepped to her husband and rownded him in the ear, and desired him for the passion of God to get him out of the church quickly for surely said she, if you tarry here any while you will have a hundred horns on your head, so by that means, he tried his wives falsehood, although not greatly to his contentment.  
A Merchant coming to Paris, delivered a casket full of Gold and silver to a certain rich Citizen to keep, 
Of a Merchant that was deceived of a casket full of gold.  who was godfather to Philip the French King. And when the merchant came to require his money, the Citizen denied it him, and said that he never saw him before. Then the merchant complained unto the King, whereat he being greatly astonished, caused the Merchant to hide himself secretly in his Chamber and caused the Citizen to be sent for, whom courteously entertained, and communed with him of many familiar matters. And seeing a ring upon his finger, which he had often times offered to give him: good godfather (quoth the King) have you yet your ring: yea my Lord, quoth the Citizen, and I have often desired your grace to take it at my hand, and now again I desire you to accept it. Then the King received the ring, and sent it immediately secretly unto the Citizen's wife, that by the same token she should send unto her husband the casket of gold and silver. In the meanwhiles he inquired of the Citizen touching the same casket, which he utterly denied that he had it, until the messenger returned, and the king brought it forth before his face, and for the fact expulsed him out of the realm.  
One that had bought an horse, when he had paid his money, 
Of one th●● bought an horse.  demanded of the seller if he were good? yea (quoth the seller) Why dost thou cell him then (quoth the bier) because I am but a poor man, (quod the seller) and he will eat to much. What other evil conditions hath he said the bier? none answered the seller, saving that he will not climb trees. But when he had bought the horse, and brought him home, he bitten every body. Then said his master, he that sold him to me said true, for he eats to much indeed. And another time riding forth upon him, when he came to a wooden bridge he would not go over. Which when some saw that where with him when he bought the horse, he told you true said they, for he will climb no trees.  
There was a certain good workman which gained much and yet was always poor. 
Of a drunkard that was enjoined to penance to drink always by measure  And coming on a time to confession, the Priest perceived that he was given much to drinking, and therefore enjoined him penance that he should not drink above a certain measure of wine at a meal, whereunto he consented, unless he sold or bought something that day. On a day being at dinner with his wife, he drank up his measure of wine, & was yet a thirst. Then his wife knowing of the penance that was enjoined him, husband said she, follow my counsel, I will cell you a cow & then you may drink more by covenant, and you shall cell her to me again, and by this means he deceived himself, and could never be rich. 
Of one that bought a horse that would not stand by his fellows.   
One bought an horse, and demanded of the seller what fault he had? None (quoth he) but that if you travail him in company, he will not stand with his fellows. The buyer liking well of that, and imputing it unto courage and stomach, said that he liked him never a whit the worse for that. But when he proved him, he found him a lame, dull, and tired jade and could never reach to his bait with his company, but always was fain to tarry behind.   

Chap. 13. divers pleasant histories, and pithy examples of Usurers.  

Of certain usurers that would not stand up for the priests blessing.  A Preacher which in a Sermon had declared the vile wickedness, and abomination of usurers, pronounsing absolution after the Sermon unto all sorts of people according to the manner that then was, willed that every sort of them should stand up to have his Benediction, when he named them, according to their vocation. And first (said he) arise all you that be Carpenters, which they did, and when he had blessed them he bid them sit down again. Next arise Clothiers, and after them Shoemakers, and so of the residue. Now said he last of all let the Usurers stand up to be blessed, and when none stood up, although there were many present: Good Lord, (quoth he) how will they appear before God in the day of judgement to receive eternal damnation, which dare not stand up before men to receive blessing?  

Of the usurer that wild to have a bag of money with him.  A certain Usurer very rich and covetous, dwelling in the City of Mentz, being sick and perceiving that he should die, willed that a bag which he had full of Money should be buried with him in his grave, for the sure performance whereof, he caused his friends to swear unto him by an oath.  
When he was dead and buried, and afterward some came pri●●y in the night to his grave to take away the Money, they saw there the Devil sitting with a great Spoon of Iron burnying hot, f●●dyng him with the Money flaming in at his mouth bright with fire.  

Of the usurer that confessed to have sinned three manner of ways,  A certain Usurer which was sick, confessed himself to a Priest, saying, that he had but three sins whereof he was guilty, to wit, Usury, Lechery, and Gluttony. To whom the Priest said, that he could absolve him of twain of them, but of the third, that is to say Usury he could not absolve him, unless he would make restitution. Then said the Usurer, do the Scriptures, and learned men say so? Yea quoth the Priest. But I will see first whether they say true or not, said the Usurer, for yet I will not make restitution, & therefore in God's name you may departed.  
An Usurer which was sundry times moved to make restitution, 
Of the usurer that was buried under the Gallows  notwithstanding could not be thereto persuaded. Falling sick, and waxing weak to the death, he sent for a Priest and desired to have the Rites of the Church. The Priest denied him, unless he would restore the goods ill gotten, which the Usurer refused to do. When the Priest was departed, he waxed weaker and weaker, and was even at the point of death, and the Priest was sent for in all haste to commend his soul unto God, but he could not be found. Then (quoth the Usurer) I myself commend my Soul unto all the Devils of Hell, and so died. But when he was dead, his friends besought the Priest that he would bury the body in the Holly procession path, which he denied to do. Now the Priest had an Ass which served him for none other purpose, but to carry his books to the Church, and knew none other way but that. Wherefore the usurers friends, desired the Priest to show them so much courtesy, as to let them lay the Corpse upon the Asses back, and look whether soever he carried it, there to bury it, supposing that he would go directly to the Church, or home to the Priestes-house, because he knew none other way. The Priest was contented, and the body was laid upon the Asses back, and he went forward, never turning to the right-hand, nor to the left, until he came unto the Gallows, and cast him down there under the gallows, and there was buried among his fathers.   

Chap. 14. Certain merry jests of rude Husbandmen of the Country.  
WHen king Liberius, of whom Macrobius writeth in the third book of the Saturnalia, was lately advanced from the plough tail unto great riches, he called certain Philosophers unto his table, & mocking at their often controversies & quiddities in Philosophy, desired them to resolve him certain questions. Namely, why of white and black beans ground together, there riseth Meal of one colour? Whereat Aricides disdaining: then answer thou me this question said he, why if a man whip with a Lash made of white and black thongs, the strips look all alike which they make.  
A young delicate Cocknie of the City was married unto a rich farmer of the Country. 
Of a Cockny, maid that married a farmer of the country.  And always against he should come home to dinner or supper from his work, she prepared him some fine little dainty dish in a potenger, wherewith he was much discontented. And once she dressed him a capon for his supper, whereat he was much more offended then before. This pretty parnel seeing that she could not please him, went and complained to her mother of the matter, who asked of her what she gave him to eat, who answered, this, and that, and recited as before is written. Then said her mother thou art much deceived, but henceforward set before him a great bowl full of Beans and Peason, with brown Bread, for he is a labouring man, and must be grossly feed. Now when the daughter had followed her mother's advise, he laughed and was merry, and said that he laughed at the Capon which she dressed for him the day before, but truer it is, that he rejoiced because his belly was full.  

Of a woman that was very willing to please her husband.  There was a woman which could never make Bread that would please her husband. On a time stripping herself naked, and washing herself clean all her body over, she made Doughty and moulded it upon a stool, and when she was weary, she forgot herself and sat down upon the stool and the Dough cleaved to her Buttocks. Anon she arose and sought for it, and her husband asked her what she looked for, and she said for the loaf which I have made for thine own tooth. Marry quoth he, it sticketh to thy buttocks, and then the cleanly housewife remembered herself.  
An honest strong woman of the country, when her husband came home from work out of the fields: 
Of the woman that blessed her husband's eye.  having one of his eyes so grievously hurt that he could not see with it, would needs bless her husbands other eye that it might not be infected by that which was sore. And so while both his eyes were stopped, her sweet heart, whom she had hid up in a corner, slipped out of the doors, the husband not seeing him.   

chap. 15. Of merry jests of the jews.  
A Certain jew fell into a ditch upon a Saturday which is the Jewish Sabbath, 
Of a jew that fell in a ditch on the Sabbath day.  at what time there came a Christian by and would have helpen him forth, but he would not saying, that he must not violate the Sabbath day. The next day the Christian passed by again, and the Jewe called unto him desiring him to help him forth. But he answered, this day is Sunday, and now I may not break my Sabbath, and so the wretch remained there. A good fellow in Merseborow in an evening stole away a poor widow's Cow, & brought her in the night unto a jew to whom he pawned her for five shillings, 
Of a fellow that stole a widows Cow.  and the same night he stole her away again from that jew, and pawned her unto another jew for so much money, and again the same night he stole her from him and pawned her unto the third Jewe for the like some. Then devising with himself how the widow might come by her Cow again, he stole her likewise from the third jew, and brought her home in the morning betimes by the horns. And meeting with the widows maid that was going to the brook to wash clotheses, he chid her, saying, that if he had not been, the cow had been lost for ever. Thus the knave served his own necessity for money, deceived the greedy Jews and restored the widow her cow.   

Chap. 16. Of merry jests of thieves.  
A Thief wandering in the woods, by chance met with a Priest, and said unto him, that he would fain be shriven. For, 
O● a thief that would be ●hriuen of a p●●●st in the woods.  said he, there passed to day a Priest by this way, and I took his Horse from him, and therefore I pray you enjoin me penance. Then quoth the Priest, give me five shillings to say mass for thine offence, and the thief told him out ten shillings into his hand, saying, take here five shillings for the Priest's horse which I took away this day, and because you make so good a market, I give you five more for the Horse whereon you ride, and so he took away his horse also.  

Of the thief that stole the poo●e man's goose.  There was a thief which had stolen a poor man's goose who complained thereof unto the Priest of the Parish, desiring him to speak to the people thereof out of the pulpit the next Sunday. When Sunday was come, and the Priest in the pulpit, he bid all the people sit down, and when they answered that they were all seat, nay said the Priest, for he is not yet set that stole the poorman's goose (yes quoth the thief that I am) then (quoth the Priest) for shame restore to the poor man his goose again, 
Of the thief that gave one that sold an ox a pice of his shirt to put in his money.  or else I will excommunicate thee.  
There was a thief which watched a man that had sold an Ox, and took acquaintance of him, and lead him to the Tavern, and gave him a quart of Wine. And when he that had sold the Ox, would have been gone, saying, that he must go buy him a purse to put his money in: Nay quoth the Thief, lay thy money to mine, and let us drink more, and I will give thee a piece of my shirt to wrap thy money in, and he did so. But when he departed, this cozening thief ran after him with hue and cry, saying that he had cut away a piece of his shirt with his money in it, and showed the place, so he got the money, and the true man was hanged.  

Of a thief that cozened a gentlewoman of a Sil●● Cup.  A cozening knave seeing a silver Cup in a gentleman's house, which was broken a little in the foot: he bought a good Pickerel & carried it unto the Gentlewoman, while her husband was abroad saying, My master your husband hath sent you this Pickrell to be dressed for dinner, for he will bring home geasts with him, and willeth you to sand him the broken cup that he may have it mended for the geasts to drink in, and she delivered it vnt● him. Now when he had toiled this tale to his fellow, surely, quoth he, and I will have the pickerel again. And when he came to the house, finding there the Mistress, and all the household weeping, he spoke unto her with a counterfeit merry countenance, saying. be of good cheer now, for my master hath taken the thief, and sentence is given that he shall be hanged immediately with the pickerel about his neck, and therefore you must sand him the pickerel out of hand, which she delivered. Thus the thief and his fellow had both the cup, and the pickerel.   

Chap. 17. Of jesters, and their merry devices.  
MAcrobius in his Saturnalia, writeth of Cicero, that he was so pleasant in words, & so full of pastime: 
What means a jester used to make Eurelius to laugh.  that his friends termed him a scoffer and jester. Frederick the emperors jester, with words provoked very much one Eurelius a learned man, to have moved him to laughter, but h●e could not. Shortly after perceiving him to be in some deep cogitation, he made a great many of little balls of herbs, and threw them hard at him. And when he demanded of him what he meant by that: the jester answered, saying, I have hard say that there is great force in three things, to wit: words, herbs, & stones, And as for words I have sufficiently assayed you with them & can avail nothing, now will I try you with herbs: and if I can profit nothing that way, surely I will stone you to death: at which saying he fell in a laughter, 
How a jester taught his horse to kneel down when he said Flectamus genua.  & gave the jester a reward. A jester taught his Horse to kneel down on his knees as often as he said Flectamus genua. It happened afterward, that a thief seeing the jesters Horse to be a proper Gelding, stole him away. It fortuned this thief riding upon this Horse which he had stolen, to ride through a deep slough, and full of mire, which the jester seeing, cried aloud, Flectamus genua, and forthwith the Horse fell down upon his knees, 
Of a jester that eat powdered beef greedily, when he was in danger of drowning.  and threw his rider in the dirt. Another i●ster being upon the Sea, and suddenly a tempest rising, began very greedily to eat powdered beef, and when one asked him why he did so: he answered that perhaps he should have occasion to drink more shortly than ever he did.  

How a jester in a tempest cast his wife over ship board.  A certain jester being upon the sea in a tempest, every man in the ship was commanded to cast the heaviest thing which he had over board. Then took he his wife & threw her into the Sea, saying: that he had never any thing so heavy. A skoffer seeing thieves rifling and searching his house in the night: 
How thiefs came to rob a jester.  sirs quoth he, I marvel what you can find here by dark in the night, when I can found nothing in the broad day light. A certain merry fellow being sick, 
How a man jester made his will.  was admonished by the Priest to make his will▪ Marry gladly quoth he. And I have none other goods but only two horses, which I bequeath to the Kings and Princes of the earth But the Priest demanded why he would not rather give them unto the poor: answered, you preach that we should imitate God, and he hath given all the riches of the earth unto them and not unto the poor, & therefore I would feign do as like unto him as I could. 
Of a jester that should be hanged for railing at a noble man.  A jester had railed & skoffed so bitterly at a noble man, that he threatened to hung him, wheresoever he took him, At length being taken by the noble man's servants, & brought before his presence, my Lord, than quoth he, I see now there remaineth nothing unto me but present death, which I have well deserved: I beseech you grant me one request, which may be profitable for my soul's health, which as the earnest request of those that stood about him, the Lord frankly yielded unto. Then said he, when I am hanged, I beseech you to come unto me three days after with a fasting stomach every morning, & kiss my bore tail with your mouth. Now the devil hung thee, and kiss thy tail, quoth the Lord, & went away in a rage, 
●ow a merry fellow pre●ented the Fires that came to dinner.  & so he escaped. A merry companion, having prepared a morsel of good meat for his own eating, & his wives: there came unto his house a company of Friars, & knowing not how to excuse the matter & to shift them of, said un-them: sirs I am very sorry that you may not eat with me, for I am excommunicate. Then said the Friars, we will not believe thee, unless thou tell us the cause why? For beating of a Friar quod he. Then a●t thou worthily excommunicate said they, & fearing lest he would have beaten them also, they departed incontinently.   

Chap. 18. Of merry jests of women.  
MAcrobius writeth in his Saturnalia, that when one demanded of julia, which was daughter vnt● Augustus the Emperor▪ why she decked not herself according to her father's plainness▪ 
The answer of julia the Emperor Augustus' daughter.  fragility, she answered saying: My father forgetteth that he is Emperor, but I remember that I am the Emperor's daughter. When some that were privy of her incontinency, wondered that her children were so like unto Agrippa her husband, considered that she yielded so commonly the use of her body abroad in every brothel house: I never take any passenger to sail in my ship, quoth she, but when my ship is already fraught. 
Of Populia the daughter of Marcus.  When one said that he marveled why all brute beasts would not abide to company with the males, but only when they would conceive young: Populia which was daughter unto Marcus answered, because they be beasts. Faustus' son unto Sylla, 
A pretty quip of F●ustus to his sister.  knowing that his sister used the carnal company of twain, namely Pompeius and a fullers son: I must said he how my sister can have any spit in her, while she hath the company of a fuller? A woman seeing a soldier valiantly behaving himself in a turneament, much commended him, & fell in love with him. 
Of a woman that fell in l●ue with a soldier.  But when he put up his beaver to take the air, & the woman coming apace to see him, perceived that it was her husband, she made a mock at the matter, & cared not for him. A certain jealous man set two overseers to tend upon his wife, who passing by the house where her lover was, for the nonce fell down in the mire. 
Of a jealous man, and hi● wife.  And leaving her two keepers at the door, she feigned an excuse to go into that house to wash herself, & when she had made merry with her lover, she came forth & went her way. There was a woman which oftentimes would say unto her husband that if he should die, she would never marry more. 
Of a woman that said she would not marry, if her husband were dead.  But when he was dead, & she talked as touching marrying another, even by his coffins side, her maid rebuked her, saying, that her mas●er was warm yet: If he be warm quoth the mistress, I will blow upon him till he be cold. A certain jealous husband followed his wife to confession, 
of the jealous man that followed his wife to confession.  whom when the Priest should lead behind the Altar to be displyed, the husband perceiving it & doubting the worst, cried unto him, saying: hear ye master Person, my wife is young & tender, I pray you let me be desplyed for her: And kneeling down before the Priest, I pray you quoth the wife to the Priest, strike him hard, for I am a great sinner.  

Of a woman that told a gentleman that her husband was a good Physician.  A woman whose husband had swinged her well, went unto a Gentleman that was deceased, and told him that her husband was a very good Physician, but that he would cure no man unless he were first well beaten. Then she caused him to go thither, from whence he brought home his back full of stripes, and thus his honest wife was revenged on him.   

Chap. 19 merry jests of maidens, and young women.  

Of an old woman that caused her bitch to eat mustard for a policy.  AN old woman which was desirous to make a match between a young man & a maid, caused a little bitch which she had, to eat mustard, and when the bitch wept with the strongness of the mustard, she showed her unto the maid, saying, that sometime she had been a maid, & for refusing a young man which loved her entirely she was changed into a bitch, & for sorrow thereof wept so continually. 
Of a young man that gave himself to the Devil for the love of a maid.  Which thing the maid hearing, consented unto her lover. A certain young man gave himself to the devil for a maid which he loved ardently, and could not obtain her love. But when the Devil also doing his best, saw that he could not bring it to pass, to make her love the young man, he went to an old woman & promised her certain skins for a reward, if she could mollify the maidens heart. Which when she had brought to pass, and required the skins of the devil, he reached them unto her upon the end of a long poa●e, saying: I dare not come near thee, because thou art worse than I am, according unto the old verse: 
A wicked woman fraught with all evil,  
Is by three farthings worse than the devil.   

Of the good man that took his wife a bed with another man.  A good honest whore woman, being by her husband taken a bed with her lover, consulted with an old mother Be of her acquaintance, how to excuse the matter. But the old woman perceiving that the husband the night before had eaten an herb called chervil unto his supper, sought occasion to meet him in the street, and saluted him, saying: God save you both. Then said the husband, why speakest thou thus unto me, since I am alone? Then she rubbed her eyes, saying: a vengeance on this herb Cheruile which I eat the last night, for ●uer it maketh me to take one for twain. The husband remembering that he likewise had eaten chervil the night before, thinking the old wives tale to be true, and that it had wrought in him the like effect, held his wife excused. 
of the good wife that kneeled before the hearth worm wood.  A certain old woman hearing a young wife evermore giving her husband overthwart answers, & for that cause had borne him many a blow: said unto her, if thou wilt I will tell thee how thou shalt live in quiet with thine husband, whereunto she willingly agreed. Then quoth the old woman, thou shalt go into my garden at the full of the Moon, and kneel down before the herb called wormwood, and desire it to tell thee some counsel that is good. And mark well what the herb saith unto thee, and do so. At the time appointed the old woman hid herself behind the bush of wormwood, and when the young woman according to her instruction, began to utter her request to the herb, saying: O thou most bitter wormwood, tell me what I shall do that is good: the old woman answered: 
If thou wilt live in peace and rest,  
Answer with reason for that is best:  And ever after she used her tongue better, & lived more in quiet.   

Chap. 20. merry jests of Boys.  
BOetius in his book of the discipline of scholars, 
of the boy that bit his father's nose, when he was going to the gallows.  writeth a story of a boy whom his parents corrected not in his youth, for his naughty demeanour. But increasing every day more & more in wickedness, at last committed such great robberies, that he was led to the gallows to be hanged, & desiring to kiss his father ere he died, came unto him and bit of his nose, saying, that if he had corrected him for small faults when he was a child, 
of the boy that told his father that he had forgot to beat his mother.  he had not then come unto that shame. A certain little boy seeing his father beating his mother every day, & hearing him say one night when he was a bed, that he had forgotten to do one thing: I know what that is quoth the child, what said the father? Marry said he to beat my mother. A man had two sons, whereof one always craved a piece of whatsoever was at the board, whom the father rebuked, 
of the boy that hemmed to his father for meat.  & set them both together on a stool. And when the young boy saw meat on the table that he liked & durst not ask it, he hemmed, and the father threw a piece of meat at the other. Then said the little one, what a pain is this that I must hem, and another must have the meat?   

Chap. 21. merry jests of bl●nde folk.  

Of Senecas wife, when ●hee waxed blind.  SEneca the wife, in his fifty two Epistle, writeth thus unto a friend of his: you know Harpasta the foolish woman my wife, whose eye sight suddenly failed her. she requesteth of her schoolmaster to go into another house, saying that it is very dark where she now is. In ●raiectum the lower, there was a blind man which by begging had gotten twenty pounds in Turone groats, 
Of the blind man, that hid xx. pound which he got a begging.  which he hid up in the parish Church where he dwelled, under one of the pews, which the clerk perceiving, sought for in the same place, & found it, and carried it away. The next morning the blind man seeking for the money, according to his custom, & not finding it: said unto his boy, lead me into the chancel among the chaplains, & mark whom thou seest to laugh bring me to him & he did so. Then the blind man calling him a side, said unto him: Sir I have hard much good report of you, that you be of a very honest life & virtuous conversation, I have a secret matter to break unto you, which I would have no man to hear. I am blind & weak, and I know not how soon I shall die. So it is, that in this Church under such a pew I have hidden twenty pound in Turon groats, whereof no man knoweth, & I mean to lay up there twenty more, which I would have you to take & to employ at your pleasure, bestowing some part thereof for my soul's health as it is convenient. When that clerk hard this, he went & laid the twenty pound in the place again where he had it, hoping to have the other twenty pound also. But the blind man coming to church very early in the morning, took away the money with him, & so deceived the clerk that had deceived him. 
Of the blind man that bid his wife set a candle light before him.  A certain blind man, commanded his wife always to set a candle a light by him. On a time the wife being offended at him, discovered her naked tail and so stood before him. Then said he, wife is there a candle a light in the house? yea quoth she: Surely said he, if there be never a better, yet is there a brighter. 
Of the blind man that turned the goose.  A blind man & his wife had a fat goose to dinner, & while the wife was gone forth about business, & the blind man turned the spit, there came a good fellow into the house, which he hearing & thinking it to be a dog, rose up to ratle the dishes to drive him away. In the mean whiles this fellow stole away the goose, & put a great brown loaf which stood there by upon the spit, & departed, and he turned the loaf about very diligently. But when the good wife came in, he chid her sharply for leaving the door open, for said he, there came in a dog even now, & had I not moved the dishes to drive him away, he would have done some harm. O husband said she, it was no dog, but some thief, and he hath stolen away the goose. 
Of two that were eating a jowl of salmon.  One that had but one eye was eating of a jowl of Salmon with another that had two eyes, who being ready to eat the Sammons eye, he that had but one eye cried unto him saying, for God's sake give me that eye for thou lackest none, and I have but one.   

Chap. 22. merry jests of fools.  
THere was a merry companion that said there were four kinds of fools. 
of four kinde● of fools.  The first of them that threaten so much that no man careth for them. The second, that sweareth so much that none will believe them. The third, that giveth so much away to others that they keep nothing for themselves. The fourth, 

Of the fool that wept when the sun did shine 〈◊〉 laughed ●●●n it ●●●d.  
〈◊〉 fool L●●●inu● tha●●●●e not himself when he had on his 〈◊〉 coat●.   that having none to help them, will not help themselves. There was a fool, who when he saw the Sun to shine wept, & when it rained, laughed: & being asked why he did so, answered that rain cometh after the Sun shining, & therefore he wept: and when it rained he knew that afterward the Sun would shine, & therefore he laughed. There was a fool called Lobellinus, who upon a time putting on a new coat knew not himself, & went about inquiring of every body if they saw not Lobellinus? Than one reached him a good sowse on the ear, saying, this I give not to thee but to Lobellinus, & therewith he remembered himself who he was. A Lord gave his fool a new caote whereon were embroidered a great many Asses heads. Then a stranger seeing him, said unto him: It appeareth that thou art a fool, 
〈◊〉 fool that had alcoate embroidered with Asse● heads.  because thou wearest so many Asses heads upon thy coat, which the fool hearing, went unto the Lord his master & bid him take his coat again, for he would not wear it. Why so quoth the Lord because the makest me a fool, said he, in putting Asses heads upon my coat. Not said the Lord, they be deer's heads. Deeres heads, qoud the fool, where be the horns? Then said the Lord, they have no horns yet for they be fawns, & with that answer the fool was contented, & so he answered unto whosoever mocked him therewith. Frederick the Emperor was wont to say, that they were 〈◊〉 most fools in all the world, that believe the punishments and rewards that shall be in the world to come, and yet live still in their sins. 
Of the fool that hid his money in the hole.  A certain foolish fellow having a little money, hid it in a hole, & covered it with a stone, whereupon he wrote: here it is. Another coming by, and reading the superscription, and marveling what it should signify, overturned the stone & carried away the money, and laid the stone again in his place, and wrote upon it: It is not here.   

Chap. 23. merry jests of those that are possessed.  

Of a maid that was possessed with an evil spirit.  A Maid in Westphalia which was possessed of a spirit disputed with every one that came to her in what science soever, which a certain master of Art, that came lately from Paris hearing, came unto her. To whom said the devil: thou comest lately from the village of straw, therefore tell me the quantity & quality of this proposition: Every horse is a mare. Wherefore he being amazed, 
Of the husbandman that asked the devil how many children he had.  departed immediately. When a certain man of the country demanded of one that was possessed, how many children he had: the devil answered that he had one. Now it appeareth quoth the husbandman, that thou art a liar, for I have twain? Nay said the devil, I have told true, for one of them is not thine, but a Priests. A Priest being defamed with a certain woman, promised a devil that if he would help him in his purgation, he would give him a sufficient reward. Then the Devil promised him that if he haply should be searched, it should not appear at all that he had any members. But when the time came, and he had striped himself naked, it was of all manifestly seen that he had as much as was requisite for any man to have. Thus we may see how they are deceived that put their trust in the devil. 
Of one that committed his wife to the devils custody while he was from home.  One that was going away from his wife because of her naughtiness, meant not to take leave at his departure. Then said his wife unto him, to whom ●●…ll you commit me in your absence: to the devil quoth he, & immediately he went on his journey. But when he was gone, & her lovers according to their custom came to the house, the devil always frayed them away. Long time after when the husband came home again, now take thou the charge of thy wife again, quoth the devil unto him, for I had rather keep all the wild boors in the whole country, than her only.  
One that was possessed, coming through the Market place in a City, fell thrice in a laughter: 
Of one possessed that fell thrice a laughing in the market place.  and being demanded the cause, answered: the first was, because he saw a man buying shoes and a Capon, and too day he shall die (quoth he) for all he hath bought them. The second was, because he saw a Bailiff leading a poor thief to hanging that had stolen a trifle, saying, that it was a strange matter to see a great thief leading a little thief to the gallows.  
Thirdly because he saw a Priest following a child that was going to burying, singing, and a husbandman coming after, weeping, when as in deed (quoth he) it aught to have been otherwise, as namely the Priest to have wept whose sun he was, and the husbandman to have sung as being discharged of a great burden. The Devil spoke in one that was possessed, saying: In hell there is no redemption, and therefore man is very unwise that will hazard so noble a pleadg, which if it be forfeited can never more be redeemed. One upon occasion of talk said to his fellow. I marvel said he, that the Devil suffereth us to live, since we be all such grievous sinners? to whom the other answered, but I marvel rather why he hurteth not his servants.   

Chap. 24. Of Popes and their merry jests.  
IT is read in the Chronicles that when the Pope is consecrated, 
The manner of consecrating Popes.  as they term it, there is a great handful of Tow set on fire in presence of them all, & therewith all these words spoken: Thus passeth the glory of the world, remember that thou art ashes and a mortal man. A good lesson if they would follow it.  
Sergius the Pope was called before he was Pope Os porci, 
Of Pope Hog's mouth  that is to say, Hog's mouth, and since his time all Popes have changed their own proper names.  
Evaristus the Pope, appointed seven deacons to gward the Pope's person while he preacheth, which I think is but seldom, 
Of the Pope● preaching.  or to assist him that he err not, whereby he might come into obloquy, and be defamed by his adversaries, Adrian the Pope with the whole assembly of Cardinals, bishops, and prelate's, and all the Synod gave up all the authority unto Charles king of Rome, to choose and appoint who should be Pope. And moreover that all archbishops should receive their investure of him, and that all that were disobedient unto this decree should be accursed: much repugnant unto that wherein the Popes will take upon them to make, and depose Emperors at their pleasure.   

Chap. 25. Of Cardinals and their merry jests.  

how the Pope sent for friar Tortus, to make his Niece conceive.  Octavianus a Cardinal, caused the Pope to sand for one friar Tortus to Lions, that had very good knowledge in Physic. And when he was come unto him, the friar demanded the cause why he sent for him. The Pope answered, I have a niece that hath been this long married, and can have never a child, and I have sent for you because you are a Physician, to do your endeavour to make her conceive. Then answered, the Friar, your hollines is hot, young, and lusty you should sooner make her to conceive than I can: whereat the Pope laughing took him to be his chaplain.  

How two Priests strived for a benefice.  Two priests striving before the Cardinals for the Mastership of a certain hospital, it is a strange matter to se quod one of the Cardinals, how you two poor fellows and unlearded, can not agreed for one simple Mastership of an hospital. Nay, said one of the Priests, it is more marvel to behold how you rich prelate's and learned men are at such contention for one great Popedom. A certain Cardinal hearing of a friar that always preached against prelate's, would needs have him to preach in his audience, and he did so. Then taking occasion to speak of Cardinals, he said that the Lords Cardinals were so termed of this Latin word cardo which signifieth the hinge of a door. 
Of a Pr●este that preached against Cardinals.  For like as the hinges of a door lacking oil do always mumur and make a noise, but being oiled do open an shut very pleasantly: so fareth it with these Cardinals, for until they have promotion they never leave preaching and crying out at covetousness and ambition, and when they have to much than they preach no more, but grease their bellies with delicates and give themselves wholly to all voluptuousness.  
A certain Cardinal had a chaplain called Michael whom he promised that if ever God called him to greater dignity, 
Of a Cardinal to p●e●●● his chaplain.  he would prefer him to his contentation. Afterwards being made Pope and troubled with many affairs, he quite forgot his old chaplain Michael. Who seeing that he could have no access unto the Pope, wrote upon a door by the which he should pass, these verses following.  
Here standeth without before the door, Michael the chaplain poor,  
Saying that honours do manners change,  
But seld to better, for that were strange.  
Which the Pope reading, and seeing him standing before the door, remembered his promise, & gave him a good benefice.   

Chap. 26. Of archbishops and their merry jests.  
A Certain archbishop preaching upon Palm sunday discoursed very much of Christ's humility, 
Of the bishop that preached of the she ass that Christ● rid upon.  and of the she Ass whereupon he road. And when the sermon was done, he mounted up upon his lofty palfry, and was riding home. Then came an old woman running, and took the horse by the bridle saying, I pray you my Lord, is this the she ass whereupon Christ road? An archbishop in a sermon sorely inveied against the whole order of Preaching friars, & compared them to the Pharasies. When the sermon was finished, 
Of the archbishop tha● preached against the friars.  and the archbishop come down out of the Pulpit, the reader of the same covent arose and came to him saying: My Lord, your grace had forgotten one text which is this: Thy Nation and thy bishops have delivered thee unto me. Again, the same archbishop preached another time against Masters & Readers in the universities, 
Of an archbishop tha● preached against masters.  how they clothed themselves in soft apparel, and sought to be magnified and placed in the chief seats in the schools, and Churches, and such like. Shortly after the same archbishop chanced to meet with a Reader, in a very foul and dirty place. Then said the archbishop to the Reader, what do you here Master Ammirandu●? for that was his name: Marry my Lord (quoth he) I come to make clean & neat mine apperell whereof your Grace spoke of late and therewith all he showed him his tail all dirty behind.  
An Archbishop being in visitation, sharply punished a certain Lady Prioress of a Nunnery for trespasses which she had committed, 
Of an archbishop that punished the Lady priores.  whom she earnestly entreated that in consideration of a piece of money, he would in part remit the punishment. But he deneying so to do, saying, that he loved her not, and therefore he would not pleasure her so much: I think so quoth she, and well believe it, for there was never yet Capon that loved an Hen.   

Chap. 27. Of Bishops, and their merry jests.  

Of one that flattered a bishop for advantage.  ONe thinking to get the goodwill of a Bishop by flattery, said unto him, my Lord, if your Lordship would take less pains you might live yet five years, but if you continued so still you will scarce live two years to an end. Who answered, I had rather be a good Bishop two years, than an ill Bishop five years.  

Of one that objected against a bishop because he was covetous.  One objected unto a Bishop, that he was to covetous, for that by keeping a niggardly house, he had saved money enough to redeem his Church lands which his predecessor had laid to mortgage. But he answered that he was far more liberal than his predecessor, for (said he) I have paid his debts and mine own also.  

Of a bishop that promised to give a Prebend at the kings appointment  A Bishop in France, promised Philip the French King, that the first Prebend that fell in his gift, he would give it to whom soever it pleased the King. And when many fell void, and the king was pleasured with none, he was sore offended. To whom the Bishop sent this answer, desiring his grace not to be offended, for he had yet given never an one of them, but sold them all.  

Of a Bishop that coursed a Hart.  The Bishop of Mentz coursed an heart, and after long running, the beast leapt into a deep pond, and a great Pike caught him fast by the throat. And when the heart came out of the water, he brought the Pike with him hanging by his throat, and so he took them both, and sent pieces of them abread for present to his friends.  

A priest rebuked by the Bishop for burying a ●ead Ass.  A certain Priest was accused unto the bishop of the Diocese for burying his dead Ass solemnly with Dirige, & Masses of Requiem. And being much rebuked for so doing he certified the Bishop that it was a very godly Ass, & had made a will, & had bequeathed his Lordship five pound, which he had now brought unto him. And when the Bishop had received the money, he said, let him then rest in peace, & so discharged the priest.  
A noble young Gentlemen that was a scholar in Paris, 
A gentleman that said all bishops were blind.  said that all Bishops in France were blind, because they gave not some good benefice to his master, being but poor, and well learned. Not long after, being himself made a Bishop, he was so blinded with his spiritual promotion, that he neither gave his poor master any thing, but on a time when he came to Paris, his Master went and met him, bearing a couple of Wax candles burning in his hand. And when the Bishop asked him why he did so: he answered, because your lordship should see me, for you are blind. 
Of a Bishop that preferred his kinsfolk,   
A certain Bishop had many young Nephews and Kinsfolks in his house, which always sat at meat at a low table before him, and whensoever any preferment fell void, he repulsed other, and bestowed it upon one of those. Then a man of worship, whom the Bishop had bid to dinner, set himself down at the children's Table. And being demanded by the Bishop why he did so, he answered that he could not be preferred sitting at any other Table, neither knew he any other than those that sat there, advanced by him unto any dignity.   

Chap. 28. Of Archdeacon's.  
AN Archdeacon being in visitation, 
Of a woman that told the Archdeacon, he did not his duty.  spent whole days in feasting & making good cheer, when the people looked that he should have preached unto them the word of God. And as he was going from hearing Mass unto dinner, an old woman said unto him that they looked for that which was his duty to do meaning, to show them their duties out of the word of God. Well (quoth the Archdeacon) I will not call thee to counsel what I had best to do. But she answered, surely he had small care of our souls that put them in trust to thee.  
An Archdeacon visited his parish Church, 
Of a man tha● had a poor woman to his wife, asked the Archdeacon if h● might not marry another that was 〈◊〉.  from which he was promoted unto the Archdeaconry. And there came unto him an husband man to ask counsel, saying: M. Archdeacon I married a poor wife, and now I know where I may have a rich one, is it lawful for me to forsake the poor one, and to take the rich? The Archdeacon answered, by no means. Then said the husbandman, but you have forsaken a poor church and keep a rich Archdeaconry. Which he hearing, gave up his Archdeaconry, and returned to his own Church.  

Of a Priest that killed a young Ass in steed of a Calf, etc.  A certain Priest against his Archdeacon should come in visitation, having none other provision, killed a little Ass which he had, and dressed him in the stead of Veal, and when the Archdeacon feed hungerly thereon at dinner and the Priest himself would eat none, the Archdeacon demanded the cause. Then quoth the Priest, your Mastership saith that I have wit and learning little enough already, and therefore I need to eat no asses flesh. When the Archdeacon heard this, he arose from the table in a rage, and immediately departed.   

chap. 29. Of Canons and their merry jests.  

Of the chancellor of Paris that had many benefices.  IVlius in his book of Bees, writeth an history of one Philip that was Chancellor of Paris, who having many benefices was in his sickness admonished by the bishop to resign them up, for fear of longer incurring God's displeasure: who answered that he would try the truth of that, before the great judge. But shortly after he was dead, he appeared unto the bishop like a shadow, and said: I most miserable wretch am damned, and that chiefly for three causes: First for my fruits which I kept from the poor: Secondly for my plurality of benefices: And lastly for my detestable whoredom. Moreover he said, is the world yet at an end? Then quoth the bishop, I marvel that thou having in thy life time been a great clerk, and seeing me and other living, who must all die before that day come, shouldest ask me that question? But he said marvel not at all, for in hell there is neither knowledged, nor reason. Master Albertus said unto a Canon of Colein, 
Of the Charon that had got a dispensation, for many benefices.  which came home from the Court with a dispensation to have many benefices: Before you might have gone to Hell without licence, and now you must needs go thither by virtue of your dispensation.  
There was a Canon which had two Canonries, one in one Church, another in another, the dreamt one night the two staves were reatched unto him, and the same night the bishops of both Churches died. Then some of his familiars expounding his dream, said that he should be chosen bishop in both places and riding out the next day morning, he fell from his horse and brake both his legs, and was feign to go with two crutches to bear himselft up withal.   

Chap. 30. Of the Halt and Lame.  
ON a time there came unto a sanctes church, 
How a priest did drive the haut and lame out of the Church.  so many halt and Lame people to be cured, that the Priest could not drive them forth. Then said the priest, give me your staves & I will heal you all. And when he had them, he sent for fire, & being demanded what he would do with it: Burn him that is most lamb, quoth he, that you may all be healed with his Ashes. And when they heard this, they ran all away.   

Cap. 31. Of Priests.  
A Certain poor lecherous Priest had a concubine, 
Of a priest that lost his Concubine and, his benefice together.  whom he loved well, whereof the archdeacon hearing, commanded him either to forsake his Church, or to leave his concubine But being loath to departed from his Concubine, he resigned his benefice, and when the harlot saw that he had nothing now to live withal, she would tarry no longer with him, and so he lost both profit and pleasure together.  
A certain Priest had two Concubines, one young, 
Of a priest that had an young and an old concubine  another old: The young because she would have the Priest to be like herself, plucked all the grey hears out of his head, and the old plucked away all the black, until between them both they had made him bald, not only in head, but also in his goods, and mind.  
A poor aged woman, being weak and like to die, bequeathed unto a Priest one Hen which she had, 
Of a poor woman that bequeathed her Hen.  to be delivered after her departure. But the Priest came and took away the Hen while she was yet living. Then said the old woman, I perceive that Priests be worse than the Devil, for many a time have I given my Hen to the Devil, & the Fox and they have let her alone, and now have given her but once to a Priest, and he taketh her away.  
There was a Priest which used to carry holy water, as they termed it, about unto his friends & parishioners houses, &, when he came to a certain ritchman's house, 
Of the 〈◊〉 that had 〈◊〉 leg.  he was sure of nothing else but railing, curses, and evil language. It fortuned that he caught a sore in one of his legs, and at the Priests next coming thither, he ma●e him good cheer, and desired him to pray for him. Then quoth the Priest, I pray God send your other leg to be sore also, that you may be more devout. Which the rich man hearing, well bombasted the Priest, and with straining his leg found the pain to be eased. This or the like is alway the end of ungodly prayers.   

Chap. 32. Of Abbots and their jests.  

Of one Arsemus, that sent both his Scholars to ●●e Abbots.  IT is read in the book entitled vitae patrum, that it belonged unto the duty of one Arsenius an Abbot, always to provide an Abbot for a certain Monastery being destitute, who sent unto them a scholar of his own bringing up, one that was religious and severe. But when the monks could not away with him, he sent them another that was calm & gentle, & finding him to be soft and tractable, they yet misliked him and required another. Then said Arsenius, I have sent you twain, whom I myself have bought up, and I know that neither of them is destitute of the grace of the holy ghost, who appeared in the form of fire, & of a Dove, and in none other likeness that I have heard: And therefore I can provide you none other.  

Of an Abbot that came ●uddinly among his monks,  A certain Abbot came suddenly upon a company of Munks as they were talking, & when they saw him, they were abashed. Then said the Abbot, whereof were you talking? Whereunto one that had the readiest wit among them answered, of your Lordship. And what said you of me, quoth the Abbot? Surely we were talking, said the Monk, how you and other Abbots can so soon wax evil. Marry answered the Abbot, because we be made of so ill stuff, that is to say, of Monks.  

Of an Abbot that was by his monks dep●●ued of his dignity.  An Abbot being in the Chapter house among the monks, said that he had no pleasure nor rest, but pain & vexation both of body & mind in the office, & that he was no lord, but rather their servant and underling. To whom the monks answered: Midsummer and the feast of S. John the Baptist is now at hand, go play thyself somewhere else, for we will have thy service no longer, and so deprived him of his office.  
The Abbot's room of S. Dennise in France being void, 
Of three monks that gave to the king five ●●po●● a piece, to have the Abbotship of S. Denys.  and the time of the election drawing near, the Provost of the same house, offered unto the king five hundred pound for his good will, the Chamberlain as much, and the Sellerer as much also: all which money he severally willed them to deliver unto his Chamberlain. When the day appointed for the election was come, and the king was sat down under his cloth of estate, those three above named gaping every one for the preferment, the king called unto him a simple Monk which sat in a corner, and made him Abbot: who alleging his insufficiency for it, and the worthiness of many other in the Covent: the king smiling, I will supply your want, quoth be, and give you fifteen hundred pounds toward your charges, (which was the provosts, Sellerers, and Chamberlains money.) and besides help you with the best counsel and aid otherwise that I can. 
Of a merry demand that the Abbot of Paris asked the schoolmen.  An Abbot of Paris, coming into the schools at the Quodlibets, demanded this question, whether it were better to know a little good and to follow it, or to know much and follow nothing? It was answered that the first was the best. Then, quoth the Abbot, you be all fools, that learn many sciences and follow none.   

Chap. 33. Of priors and of their merry jests.  
IN the Priory of Ramessa there dwelled a Prior that was very liberal, which caused these verses to be written ever his door: 
Of the liberal prior of Ramessa.  
Be open evermore, o thou my door,  
To none be shut, to honest or to poor.   
But after his death, there succeeded him another whose name was Raynhard, as greedy and covetous, as the other was bountiful and liberal, who kept the same verses there still, changing nothing therein but only one point, and made them run after this manner: 
Be open evermore o thou my door  
To none, be shut to honest or to poor.   
afterward being driven from thence for his extreme niggishnesse, it grew into a proverb: that for one point Raynhard lost his Priory. A Prior having gheastes to dinner, caused his servants to mingle water with the wine, 

Of a Prior that served his gheastes with wine mingled with water.  
Of a Prior that told his monks, that he was like to God in ●. qualities.  
Of the Monk that displied the Prior with hard blows   to the intent it might stretch the farther. And perceiving one of the monks to be very talkative, and full of words, said unto him: Brother when will your mill leave clacking? It cannot leave sir, quoth the Monk, as long as ye give it so much water. A Prior said unto one of his monks, that he was like unto God into three qualities: First that he could not sin, for that he defended so much his own innocency at their Chapters: Next in knowing allthings, for he went about from shop to shop to learn new; what was done or said in any place: And thirdly in being in every place, for he wandered very much abroad. A certain Monk displying the Prior and others after Complin, struck very hard blows upon the priors head. But meeting afterward at the Chapter, the Prior said unto the Monk: Brother, you know not yet well how to displie. But when you dispel the Prior, you must strike handsomely and gently, and not thus, and thus, and buffeted him well favouredly about the ears, and so was even with the Monk for his hard displying.   

Chap. 34. Of many merry jests of monks.  


Of the young Monk that douckt always downward till he had found the keys of the Abbey.  
Of an old Monk that fell a sleep in the choir.  
Of him that bid the Monk to drink, when he was in his prayers.   Sometime there was a young Monk in an Abbey, who always went casting his eyes to the ground, and was very mild and lowly in behaviour. afterward being made Prior, he held up his h●ad aloft▪ and was very severe and arrogant, which seeming strange unto them that knew him before, & being demanded the cause of so great alteration: Answered, that before he always looked on the earth for the keys of the Abbey, if haply he might found them: which now having found, he looked no more on the ground, but bear himself according to the dignity whereunto he was called. An old Monk sitting in the choir▪ fell a sleep, and dreamt that there came unto him a foul long sloven with such a filthy wisp as they use to rub horses withal, and looking grimly upon him, would forcibly have wiped his face therewith. But he striving to escape from him, plucked back his head and knocked it against the wall, and so awaked. A Monk being devout in his prayers, one asked him if he would drink, who wagged his finger, signifying that he would not. Then said the monks servant, my master meaneth that he would drink a cup of white wine. But when the Monk beckoned with two fingers, signifying that he would have none at all, and it was demanded of his servant what he meant thereby, he answered that he would also havea cup of read wine, so the master drank but little and the knave drank up all the residue. 
Of a fellow that told the Monk his as●e being laden was able to carry all the patience in the Abbey.  A certain Monk leading his horse to the water, saw a country fellow going over a bridge driving an ass before him so heavily laden, that he could scarce move one foot by another, whom the country fellow notwithstanding beat forward without pity or mercy. Then said the Monk, why wilt thou kill thy beast being laden? The fellow answered, he is not so laden, but he will carry all the patience of your Abbey, whereat the Monk was very wrath. Then said the fellow: The dumb beast murmureth not under his burden, 
Of the Friar that rang the bell, and told the Monk he rang for the charity that was gone out of the Abbey.  and you are out of patience for one words speaking. A certain Friar coming unto the gate of an Abbey, seeing that he could not get in, range the bell very hard, and a Monk coming to the gate, asked why he range? then said the Friar, I ring for the charity which is gone a way from the Abbey, which the Monk hearing, took the bell and range harder than he had done. What meaneth this, than quoth the Friar. Then quoth the Monk, I ring for the patience which is departed from your Friary.   

Chap. 35. Of merry jests of preaching Friars.  
IT is written in the Chronicles of Friars, that after the Lateran counsel, when the Pope travailed into the coasts of Toledo, 
How the Pope writ to Dominicke the preaching Friar.  about certain affairs, and would writ unto Dominick the Friar: he said unto the Notary, writ unto Dominick the Friar, and to the residue of the preaching Friars. Then staying a while: writ quoth he, unto master Dominick, and to the preaching Friars: and after that time they began to be called the preaching Friars. A certain Friar tossing the pot, 
Of the Frie● that said he must drink after every good word  and drinking very often at the table, was reprehended by the Prior. Then said the Friar. It is an old proverb, that a man aught to drink after a good saying. And there were so many read even now, 
Of the friar that bid the official if he were the son of God to make the stones bread.  that there is not wine enough to drink after them all: for at that time the book of the proverbs of Solomon was read at the table. One master Hugh, an Official, having a Friar at his table at dinner, and seeing that he could not eat of the bread because it was so heart, asked of him why he did not eat? to whom the Friar answered: If thou be the Son of GOD, command these stones to be made bread. Friar Nicholas of Bronsbarch, an ancient & ● reverend father would often declare, how he was the Duke of Sa●ons son, 
How friar Nicolas of Bronsbarch said he was the duke of Saxons ●onne.  and after this manner. The Duke dreamt that the Duchess his wife, being with child, should bear a child that should be poor and a beggar, and therefore when she was delivered, he commanded the child to be slain, because he should not shame him. But the Duchess being moved with motherly pity, delivered her son unto a poor knight's wife, to bring up as her own, and he increased in learning and knowledge, and taking himself to be that poor knights son, he entered into the order, that the Duke's dream might be fulfilled. At length when he was made a master of his order, and came into Saxony: the Duchess much rejoiced in him, and told him all the whole matter. Howbeit he long time refused to credit her, supposing himself in deed to have been the poor knights son.   

Chap 36. Of Friars called Minours, and of their merry jests.  

How a friar that had displeased the Pope made his answer.  A Certain Minour Friar had displeased Boniface the Pope, and by the Friars of the same order he was delivered unto him. Who being brought before the Pope, and desiring pardon, said the Pope unto him, thine own nation and thy Bishops have delivered thee unto me. To whom the Friar in his own defence answers: He that delivered me unto thee, hath the more sin. 
Of the woman that bequeathed her garment to the minor friars.  At which answer the Pope being delighted, sent him away free. A certain woman of Brunswik, bequeathed unto the Minour Friars (of whose fraternity she was,) one garment worth a noble. But when the Antonians came to the town and preached great pardons and indulgencies of their fraternity, this woman hearing thereof, carried her garment unto them, which they received with great thanks. Which when the Minors understood: they blamed her much for so doing, who made them answer that all fraternities were one fraternity. Then the Minours' understanding that the Antonians had there in the town a S. Antony's pig, that was fat and worth a mark, they took him home to their house and killed him. And when the Antonians complained thereof, for that it was to great an injury, the Minours answered that the pig belonged unto their fraternity, for that all fraternities are one fraternity. In the end the matter being brought before the judges of the city, it was agreed upon that every one should keep that which he had, and take better h●●de hereafter.  
A certain Minour Friar of Brunswik fell mad, but notwithstanding▪ 
Of the friar minor that fell mad.  he could help to Mass. And seeing the priors man bearing a great Capon in a platter, whose legs hung a great way over the platters side, he ran unto him, inquiring of him whether it were a Crane or a Capon? But the servant sharply rebuked him away, and would not tell him. In the morning after, when the Prior should say Mass, he would help him. And when the Prior began Confiteor, that is to say, I confess, (a superstitious part of the Mass:) Now said this Friar, tell me whether it were a capon or a Crane which you had yesternight to supper, else I will not absolve you? Then the Prior taking compassion upon his folly, swore unto him by God that it was a capon. Then said the Friar, Misereatur vestri, etc. God forgive you, and so forth, and they proceeded in their l●usines. On a time when many minour friars coming from the Chapter, 
Of a citezyn that deceived a company of friars of their good cheer  flocked unto a certain citizens house, carrying with them wine and other provision to make good cheer: the townsman understanding thereof (for he had been forth) caused the Belinan to ring alarm at the door, and to cry out aloud as though there had been enemies coming, which noise the Friars hearing, and fearing the loss of their horses, and their alms: in all hast ga● up into their wagons, and road away as fast as they could, & the goodman of the house came in, and took the wine and other provision, which lasted him to make merry withal many days after,   

Chap. 37. Of divers merry jests of Novices.  


Of the young novice that said that he never read that Christ was either black or white or grey friar.  
Of the ●arle of Blaakenburgh son that become a Novice.   A Certain Novice of the order of the Preaching Friars, being in place among other Friars where they contended of the excellency of their orders, every man preferring his own before the other: them said this Novice, is it true that every thing which christ did is for our instruction? Y●a, said the Friars. But I never read, quoth the Novice, that our saviour Christ was either a black, white, or grey Friar, but hearing that he was a poor Preacher, I had rather follow his steps therein, than any others. The Earl of Blankenburgh hearing that his Son, whom he sent unto Paris to study, was become a Novice: he roo●e thither to bring him from thence. Then said his son, I would go with you, if you could assure me of one thing. What is that, quoth the father? The son answered: that I may be sure not to die so soon when I am abroad, as when I continued here. Which the father hearing, and perceiving his obstinacy, with sorrow departed, 
Of a poor man's son, that become a Novice.  and let him alone. A certain poor man had put his son to study at Paris, upon whose maintenance he bestowed all that ever he could earn, thinking that he should have kept and relieved him in his old age. But when he was entered into the order of preaching Friars, his father weeping and lamenting thereat, asked him why he had done so, who answered, because I would live in poverty. That might you have done, son, quoth the father, if you had tarried at home with me, and never have gone out of the doors, for you should have found there poverty enough. A certain Novice entered into the order at Paris, 
Of the Novice that was anointed with lamp oil.  and as he was going to bed at night, a lamp fell down and all the oil was spilled upon him. Then they brought him unto his bed, where were woollen sheets laid upon a bed of straw, and he was commanded to keep silence. The next day morning, 
How friar numbertsed certain novices with three pieces of bread.  when the other Friars came unto him, and asked him how he fared, and was used since he came into the order: He answered, yesternight I was anointed, and laid upon straw, and made dumb. One Friar Humbert a master of the order, carrying with him certain Novices unto Lions, came to a village where they could get no meat. At length an old woman brought them a little bread unto the bridge whereon they sat, which when the Novices had eaten, he asked her if she had any more, and she brought another piece, and the young men eat it immediately very greedily. The third time he willed her to fetch more, if she had any: which she did, and they eat it up all strait ways. Then said the Master unto the Novices, he will provide you bread, that increased the five loaves in the wilderness, reciting unto them the whole story out of the Evangelist, and how there were twelve baskets fu●lle●t, over and besides that which was eaten. Now by Jesus quoth the old woman, you be no such, for you have left none at all.   

Chap. 38. Of merry jests of Connertites.  
A Certain Conn●rti●e serving in an Abbey, 
Of the connerti●e that mocked the monks as they were at banquet.  waited upon the Abbot, Prior, and Monks at a feast, after that they came from the Chapter, where there was much good cheer prepared. And having many dishes to carry in, when he had brought in the first, he said, there is no more, and likewise at the second he said, there is no more, and so at every one. Then the company being offended that they had fed so much of one dish, seeing there was plenty, & that they were so filled that they could not taste of the other: demanded of him, why he said always at every dish that there was no more? In deed, said he, I spoke that word, but I meant it not of meat, but of Paradise. For in this world you will wear soft apparel, eat delicate meats, ride with great trains, and live in all pleasure, and therefore I meant that you shall have no more in the world to come. All the cattle belonging unto a certain Monastery, 
Of the Connertite that went to fetch the Abbot's cattle out of the pound.  were carried away to the pound a good way of, and the Abbot sent a simple Connertite which was in the house, to bring them home, commanding him that he should not come again empty, but bring what soever he could get. But when he which had them in pound, had answered him that he should not have them, notwithstanding if he would sit down and eat meat with him, he should be welcome: he feed very greedily. Which the Master of the house beholding, and reproving him somewhat therefore: he declared what commandment was given unto him, and because he could bear nothing else home with him, he would carry at lest wise as much as his belly would hold. Then all the company laughed well, and perceiving the simplicity of the man, gave him all that he required.   

Chap 39 Of many merry jests of Nuns.  
THe Nuns of a certain Monastery had this custom, that when any of them were delivered of child, she should use recreations, and bathings, and other things necessary for women in that case, 
The punishment of young Nuns when they be g●t with child.  and the Nuns would come a gossiping unto her, and bring h●r presents. But because that the correction that belonged to the order should not be abrogated, at the months end she must come naked into the Chapterhouse before them all, and receive three stripes at every one of her sister's hands with a Before tail, which always hung up in the Chapter house for that purpose. In a certain Monastery were a company of old Nuns, that had been good fellows in their youth, unto whom the young Nuns cleaved very fast. 
Of the young Nuns that were restrained of their liberty.  It fortuned the old lady Prioress died, and there succeeded one that was more severe in her room which forbade the coming in of religious men, or any other unto them. So that the young Nuns seeing themselves restrained of their liberty, said unto the elder Nuns: happy are you, Sisters, for you lost your virginity in your youth, which if you had now, there were as small hope for you to lose it as is for us. 
Other that said in con●ession, it was good reason to prove all thing.  A certain Nun confessing ●yr self unto a Bishop, that she had sinned in the act of the fl●sh: he sharply reproved her for so doing, and demanded what cause moved her thereto, and she answered, good reason, for it is written, prove all thing. Yea, said the Bishop, but if you had read all that text, you had not done it, for it followeth in the same place, keep that which is good. But she answered, O my Lord, I did not turn over the leaf.  

Of friar Cō●ade that called for ●i●●ger in the●unrie.  One, Friar Conrade, dining once in a Nunnery, called at the table for vinegar, and the Nuns said then had none. That is marvel, quoth the Friar, being so many broken vessels in the house.   

Chap. 40. Of many merry jests of sisters.  
A Certain Sister in a Priory, being an old merry wench, 
Of a merry wench in a Priory said that none might justly find fault with her behaviour.  made her boast that none could find any fault with her behaviour. For said she, if I laugh it is good fellowship, if I weep it is devotion, if I speak it is Philosophy, if I hold my peace it is religion, if I sleep it is quietness, if I rise it is a vision, and so of many things more. But thee forgot one thing, that the more she gloried, the more fool she was counted.  
A merry fellow that would feign set out the idle occupations, 
Of a merry fellow that drew a pattern of all the sisters idleness.  wherein the sisters busied themselves: He made a ●yrle, wherein he painted how three sisters were stealing of one goose: one held him by the leg, another laid a knife upon his neck: and the the third struck the knife with an hammer: and round about the circle it was thus written: Look how these three holy sisters are occupied about stealing of a goose, so are all the rest also. Certain sisters conferred together on a time, 
How the sisters imagined for each a several death.  by what deaths they would wish to die. One said I would desire to be hanged in the chord of contemplation, according to the saying of job. The other said, I would choose to be buried in the grave of humility. The third coveted to be burnt in the fire of charity: And the fourth to be drowned in the tears of compunction. But how far their inward thoughts were differing from their outward hypocrisy, their holy and chaste lives did well declare. A sister being in the monastery bore headed and in her petticoat only: 
How a sister uncovered her lower part to hide her face from the Friar.  two Friars knocked at the gate, and she ran to the gate and opened it. And being ashamed because she was bore headed, she took up the tail of her petticoat to cast over her head, and uncovered her naked buttocks, and ran away as fast as she could. Then one of the Friars calling unto her, willed, her to cover her naked parts, saying, it is better to see a woman's bore top, than her bore tail. It fortuned that in a Priorye one night, there was a Priest found a bed with one of the sisters, unto whose chamber many other of the sisters flocked to see the sight. 
Of the two sisters that were taken a bed with two priests.  And when another of the sisters, in whose bed a; also at that present there lay a Priest, heard this stir, making haste to go see the other, thinking to cover her head with her accustomed veil, threw the Priest's breaches upon her head, and came unto that merry or rather lamentable spectable to bewail that case among the other, as though she had been guilty of no such matter. But when one of the sisters saw the breach: O sister said she, and dearly beloved fellow, what thing is this, or what meaneth this strange sight? who then beholding her own naughtiness, was much astonished, and because of this accident, the other escaped unpunished, for that she was found not to be in that fault alone.   

Chap. 41. Of many merry Dreams.  
VAlerius in the first book and seventh Chapter, writeth, that Alexander the king of Macedon, 
now king Alexander was warned in a dream of one that should kill him.  was warned of the hand that should slay him in his dream, before that he felt it to be true in effect, for he thought that he saw him in his sleep that should kill him. And shortly after, when he saw the party, and knew that he was Antipater's son, he declared the vanity of his dream, and he cast out of his mind the suspicion which he had conceived of the poison, whereof he died at Cassander's hands. Likewise he telleth that whilst Amilcar, that was captain of the Carthagians, 
Of the dream of Amilcar the captain.  lay in siege about the City of Syracuse, he thought that in his dream he heard a voice which said, that the night following he should sup within the City. Then Amilcar being careless, or rather thinking himself sure of the victory, was somewhat negligent in not looking carefully to his Army, upon whom the Syracusians issuing forth the next day, possessed his tents, took him prisoner, and led him into the City, 
Of the the dream of Friar john of Duren.  where the same night he supped not as a conqueror, but as a captive. Friar john of Duren, dreamt one night, that he road upon a snail, having two long horns, & that his arms touched the ground, and how the boys in the str●etes seeing him, laughed and shouted at him: after which dream, 
Of the farmar that dreamt where great treasure was to be found.  as he said, he had very good fortune, but wherein, he would not tell. A country man dwelling near Ratisbona, dreamt that upon the bridge at Ratisbona he should found great treasure. And coming thither in the morning very early for that purpose, he met with a rich man which asked him what he sought, and he told him the cause of his coming, and how and whereof he had dreamt the night before. Then the rich man up with his fist, & gave him a box on the ear, saying: Ah fool, wilt thou believe dreams? I myself dreamt this night, how that in the village of Regendolf in such a place, (naming a certain farm place) I should find a great sum of money, but I mean not to be so much a fool as to go seek it. But when the country man heard this, and perceiving that it was his own farm where he dwelled, thought within himself, it is happy for me that I came hither this day to have a box on the ear, & going home immediately, digged in the place which the other named, and found a rich treasure. 
Of the Camnon that made verses in his sleep.   
A certain Cannon in Werda nigh to the Rhine, which never could make verse in all his life, dreamt of these two verses in his sleep, which he remembered well when he awaked, to this effect. 
The words of revenge, a bitter doom hath given on thee.  
Though thou ne knowest, how that thy life shall shortly ended be.  And when he had openly told it at the table, one of his familyars said unto him, what ever it should signify, if I were in your case, I would take order with my goods, & dispose them as I thought best, whatsoever should befall: but others said it was but a trifle, & that dreams were not to be accounted of. But he being strooken into a dump, got him upon his horse, & took his hawk upon his fist, & road abroad into the fields for pleasure, to digest the melancholy. And coming homeward at night, where he must ride over a bridge that lay over an arm of the Rhine, his horse began to strive and plunge, and threw them both headlong into the Rhine, and there were drowned.   

Chap. 42. Of divers and sundry Artificers.  
MAcrobius in the second book of the Saturnalia, 
How Servilius asked a painter why he painted not as well for himself as for others.  writeth that when Servilius of Rome, beheld the children of Mallius, an excellent painter, how misshaped & evil favoured they were, said unto him, Mallius why dost thou not paint likewise aswell for thyself, as thou dost for other men? To whom Mallius answered, I devise in the night time, but I paint in the day.  

of a carver that carved Pismares.  One Gallatricus a carver, made Pismares of ivory of so small quantity, that they were no bigger, neither could be discerned from those Pismares that lived in deed.  

Of a Shoemaker that was made a judge.  A certain Shoemaker dwelling in a City of Lombardy, was made a Judge in certain causes, before whom one of the same occupation had a matter then presently to be handled. And perceiving himself to be in some danger, came unto this Shoemaker Judge whereas he sat in judgement, and secretly requested him to be favourable unto him, saying moreover unto him: Do you not know me sir? I am such a friend, and sometime a fellow of yours. But he answered him churlishly, and said, stand away and trouble me not, for at this present I know neither thee, nor myself.  
Many more examples, and sayings might be alleged of Artificers, 
The conclusion.  of whom there is no special treatise made in this book. But because I have already touched the chiefest sorts and degrees, and it were impossible to run through all: I shall request the loving Reader to hold himself contented with these few, which I have gathered together for his delight, and to receive them for his part as friendly, as I have willingly employed the travail to wry●e them.  
FINIS.  T.T.   

 

  

  

  

  

   


¶ A Table containing the principal matters comprised in this present work of Table Philosophy. And these are the contents of the first book, which is Philosophy natural.  

THe Preface into the first book. Of the times to eat, and how often in one day we should eat meat. Chap. 1.  
Of appetite, and of the custom in eating. Chap. 2.  
Of the order of meats, and eating of them. Chap 3.  
Of the place to eat in. Chap. 4.  
Of meats & drinks wherewith men be refreshed at the table. Cham 5.  
Of wine and the properties thereof. Chap. 6.  
Of mead and the properties thereof. Chap. 7.  
Of double beer and ale. Cha 8.  
Of flesh in general. Cham 9  
Of the flesh of wild beasts. Ca 10.  
Of kids flesh. Chap. 11.  
Of Lamb. Chap. 12.  
Of Mutton. Chap. 13.  
Of veal. Chap. 14.  
Of Pork. Chap. 15.  
Of Deeres flesh, or venison. Ca 16.  
Of Hare's flesh. Chap. 17.  
Of bears flesh. Chap. 18.  
Of the parts of beasts. Cham 19  
Of baked flesh, or pies. Cham 20.  
Of Fowls in general. Cham 21.  
Of Pultrey. Cham 22.  
Of young Pigeons. Cham 23.  
Of the parts of Fowls. Cham 24  
Of eggs and the properties thereof. Cham 25.  
Of milk. Cham 26.  
Of cheese. Cham 27.  
Of fishes. Chap. 28  
Of all kinds of fetches or podware, as: Rice, beans, lentils, Chitches. Peason. Cap. 29.  
Of Pot herbs, and salad herbs, as: Garlic, Sorrell, dill, Smallage, Arrage, Bancia, Beets, borage. Colewoorts, Onions, Gourds, Coming, Fennell, Isope, Lettuce, Mints, Cresses, Poppy, Perceley, Leeks, Purcelain, radish, Rapes, Rue, Sage, spinach, Mushrumes. Chap. 30.  
Of fruits, as: Figs, Dates, Raisins, Pomegranates, Quinces, Pears, Apples, Peaches, Medlars, Pome citrons, Mulberries, Plums, Cherries, Almonds, Nuts, Fylberds, Chestnuts, Acorns. Ca 31.  
Of Spices, as: Pepper, Ginger, zedoary, Galangall, Cloves, Cinanamon, Saffron, Carrowayes. Cham 32.  
Of Sauces, as: Mustard, Salt, Vinegar, Honey, Oil. Chap. 33.    

The contents of the second Book of Table Philosophy, which is moral.  

The Preface.  
Of Emperors. Chap. 1.  
Of Kings. Chap. 2.  
Of Princes. Chap. 3.  
Of the gentle Bishops. Chap. 4.  
Of Noble men. Chap. 5.  
Of Knights. Chap. 6.  
Of Squires. Chap. 7.  
Of Warriors. Chap. 8.  
Of Philosophers and Orators. Chap. 9  
Of Physicians. Chap. 10.  
Of Youngmen. Chap. 11.  
Of old men. Chap. 12.  
Of Citizens. Chap. 13.  
Of Merchants. Chap. 14.  
Of Husbandmen and Husbandry. Chap. 15.  
Of Artificers. Chap. 16.  
Of Ritchmen. Chap. 17.  
Of Poor-men. Chap. 18.  
Of Religious persons. Chap. 19  
Of strangers & Pilgrims. Chap. 20.  
Of Hunters. Chap. 21.  
Of judges. Chap. 22.  
Of Lawyers. Chap. 23.  
Of Lords bailiffs. Chap. 24.  
Of Friends & friendship. Chap. 25.  
Of Kinsfolks. Chap. 26.  
Of good women. Chap. 27.  
Of naughty women. Chap. 28.  
Of Married women. Chap. 29.  
Of good widows. Chap. 30.  
Of Virgins. Chap. 31.    

The contents of the third Book of Table Philosophy, which is natural.  

THe Preface.  
Whether air or meat be more necessary for life?  
Whether meat or drink is more necessary for life?  
Whether sleep or meat be more profitable for the body?  
Whether meat or air nourish more? Chap. 1.  
Whether can good blood be engendered of ill meat?  
Whether simple or compound meat be soon digested?  
Whether it be good to walk immediately after meat?  
Whether it be good to sleep immediately after meat?  
Why the appetite faileth, when the accustomed time of eating is past?  
Whether our bodies be warmer before meat or after?  
Whether fasting hurt more a choleric or phlegmatic complexion? Chap. 2.  
Why some desire much, and are filled with a little meat?  
Whether they that have a strong heat can more tolerate hunger than they that have a weak?  
Why they that have narrow powers can better abide hunger than they that have wide?  
Whether choler nourish?  
Whether sick persons can better fast then whole?  
Whether the strength of a strong stomach can better tollerat fasting then of a weak?  
Whether he that useth to eat much can better abide to fast than he that useth to eat little?  
Whether fasting annoy more in warm or cold seasons?  
Why are the greediest feeders soonest filled?  
Why we receive hotter meats into our mouths then we are able to abide in our hands. Chap. 3.  
Why if one that is hungry drink, it appeaseth hunger?  
Whether those that fast are more a hungered then a thirst?  
Why it is more pleasure unto us when our thirst is quenched with drink or when our hunger is appeased with meat?  
Why one kind of drink seemeth stronger to one that is fasting then to one that is full?  
Whether unto them that are thirsty by a dry stomach a little drink be sufficient?  
Whether the stomach be burdened with much drink?  
Why a moist stomach can bear much?  
Whether thirst proceed at any time from the Lungs?  
Why thirst of the Lungs be appeased by drawing in of cold air, and of the stomach by cold drink?  
Whether thirst be a desire of that which is cold and moist, or of that which is hot and dry?  
Whether water slake thirst more than wine? Chap. 4.  
Of the hurts which happen after meat, with the questions thereto belonging. Chap. 5.  
Of Bread, and the questions thereto appertaining. Chap. 6.  
Of wine, and the demands thereunto incident. Chap. 7.  
Of flesh, with the proper questions thereof. Chap. 8.  
Of Eggs, and the demands touching the same. Chap. 9  
Of fishes, and their questions. Chap. 10.  
Of Pulse and Podware, with their problems. Chap. 11.  
Of Pothearbes and Salad herbs, and their questions. Chap. 12.  
Of Fruits, and certain demands concerning the same. Chap. 13.  
Of Salt, and the proper questions thereof. Chap. 14.  
Of honey and oil, and motions touching their natures. Cham 15.    

❧ The contents of the fourth book, of Table Philosophy, which morally treateth of honest mirth, and pleasant pastimes.  

He Preface.  
Of honest mirth and pastimes. Chap. 1.  
Of pleasant invectives. Cham 2.  
Of speeches convenient to every person. Chap. 3.  
Of apt pleasant words. Cham 4.  
Of Emperors. Chap. 5.  
Of Kings. Chap. 6.  
Of Princes. Chap. 7.  
Of Earls. Cham 8.  
Of Knights and soldiers. Cham 9  
Of squires. Cham 10  
Of Physicians. Cham 11.  
Of Lawyers & advocates. Cha 12.  
Of Merchants. Chap. 13.  
Of Usurers. Chap 14  
Of Husbandmen. Chap. 15.  
Of jews. Chap. 16  
Of thieves. Chap. 17.  
Of jesters. Chap. 18  
Of women. Cham 19  
Of young women & maids. Ca 20  
Of Children. Cha 21.  
Of Blindfolke. Cham 22  
Of Fools. Cham 23.  
Of persons possessed. Cham 24  
Of Popes. Cha 25.  
Of Cardinals. Chap. 26  
Of Archbishops. Cham 27  
Of bishops. Chap. 28  
Of Archdeacon's. Chap. 29  
Of Cannons. Chap. 30.  
Of the halt and lame. Chap. 31.  
Of Priests. Chap. 32.  
Of abbots. Chap. 33.  
Of priors. Chap. 34.  
Of monks. Chap. 35.  
Of Preaching Friars. Chap. 36.  
Of Minour Friars. Chap. 37  
Of Novices. Chap. 38.  
Of Connertites. Chap. 39  
Of Nuns. Chap. 40.  
Of Sisters. Chap. 41.  
Of Dreams. Chap. 42.  
Of sundric Artificers. Chap. 43.    
Thus endeth the Table.