Thos. jolley Esqr. F. S. A.    

THE Court of Conscience Or Dick Whippers Sessions.  
With the order of his arraigning and punishing of many notorious, dissembling, wicked, and vicious livers in this age.  
By RICHARD WEST.  Math. 25. vers. 34. 41. Venite beati, abite Maledicti in ignem aeternum. 
Imprinted at London by G. Elder, for john Wright, and are to be sold at his shop adjoining to Christ Church gate. 1607.   

To his very loving friend and Master, Mr. William Durdant, and his very friend Master Francis Moor: RICHARD WEST, wisheth all health and happiness.  
MAny and sundry are the gifts and presents which are sent between friend and friend, of value according to the ability of the sender. Some present gifts of great worth, as Plate, jewels, and such like, others meaner things. Myself finding my own estate but of a weak kind, am bold instead of such gifts, only to bestow part of my brains fruit upon you both, presuming that it will be kindly received, though it be but of a small moment or value. By the one of you I assure myself (at least am in good hope) it will be kindly received as a simple present from the Servant to the Master. The other (in lieu of many good turns at your hands already received, and not any way requited) I make the rather bold to connex in the partaking of the same: humbly requiring you to be a kind of Sidemen in the assisting of Dick Whipper and his jewrie in this session to aid them with your judgements in the pronouncing the sentence of condemnation against the malefactors at the arraignment, having and being of that opinion, that you will not only judge without partiality at this time, but also be ready in your foins to attend the judge, at the next Court day, when I believe a greater malefaector will be brought in, than the worst of these: In the mean time I'll bespeak a new whip which shall stick close to his sides as ever his shirt did.  
Yours in any service: R. W.   

THE PREFACE.  

IN the beginning when the Lord of hosts,  
After his image lively face and feature;  
Created man in all the lands and coasts,  
And for their succours every living creature.  
He did ordain in lieu thereof each day,  
That they should praise his blessed name for ay.   

All lands and people than he did divide,  
And parted them with watery surging seas,  
Asundry language over and beside,  
He did appoint to men for better ease.  
With understanding of each others mind,  
That so they might be to his laws inclined.   

Which laws or statutes were by him erected:  
Declaring them to man on Sinai mount,  
Through Adam's sins from Paradise abjected,  
He vowed aday of judgement for account,  
Of every sin or vain offence committed,  
Which Cannot be without his mercy quitted.   

And knowing well that man of his own nature,  
Was most unapt t' observe his holy word:  
He did erect his plagues for every Creature,  
Ordaining for them hunger, fire and sword,  
And finding weighty sins of man abound,  
The whole world men and all he deeply drowned.   

Saving his servants whom he did appoint,  
Noah and his family to be in ark:  
God of his mercy only did anoint,  
Those eight to live within the self same bark.  
Having of every creature with them two,  
For world's increase which after should ensue.   

This is most credible the time is past,  
Approved of truth before we lived in age:  
The sins of man yet being apt to last,  
Procure the Lord to anger, wrath, and rage,  
But what should I of these things mean to write,  
The holy Scriptures plainly them recite.   

But as concerning this our latter time,  
Considering by the abundance of our days:  
To greater sin man's nature's apt to climb,  
Which is a mean that Satan sprenges lays,  
To catch the sons of men by subtle guile,  
Into his Nets, and so their souls to foil.   

GOD (as before time) for the better peace,  
And keeping under of each wicked wight:  
In every land true duty to increase,  
Hath placed a Prince to rule the people right.  
Whose swords & Sceptres bear so great a sway,  
That they expel disorders quite away.   

But oftentimes the kindest man in sight,  
He that will handle tongue in smoothest sort:  
To simple meaning man doth seem a light,  
Yet slily creeps and bites him to the heart.  
Which glavering people being least suspected:  
Live in that order long time undetected.   

But God creator of the world and man,  
Finding the hearts of such to be corrupt:  
Reveals to world and people now and than,  
The sliest plots and treasons most abrupt.  
Which in the hearts of such are closely hid,  
At length from world such members he doth rid.   

Dick Whipper now (man's conscience 'tis I mean,)  
Knowing the guilty hearts of every sort,  
Hath summoned a meeting, where all men,  
Are to repair in person at that Court.  
Aswell the rich as poor, the good, as bad,  
The wise, as foolish, reprobate and mad.   

A jewrie of the best he hath appointed,  
To be impanneld on the worse sort:  
And sit in judgement with him as anointed,  
To be the pillars of Celestial Port.  
For whom he hath elect a Princely coast.  
For th' other, whipstock, whip, and whipping post.   

The deeds of good he doth pronounce in Court,  
To th' endless praise and comfort of their souls:  
The others misdeeds to their endless hurt,  
He hath engrossed fair in his Court rolls.  
The good shall wear and have the heavenly Crown,  
The other feel the whip to pull him down.   

The names of the jewrie.  
Good Counsel.  
Upright judge.  
Zealous patron.  
Faithful Minister.  
Godly Magistrate.  
Loyal Subject.  
Charitable Benefactor.  
Careful parent.  
Obedient Child.  
Sure Friend.  
Peacemaker.  
Lowly minded.    


Good Counsel.  

Star of the Senate, light of all the land,  
Truth's cheese supporter, pillar of advice,  
Mishaps preventer, leader of the band,  
Out of Captivity jewel of great price.  
Guard to thy King, country and people's health,  
Wisdoms way-maker root of commonwealth.   

Vigilant waker when that others sleep,  
The King and Countries good, that seek'st to find:  
To hear the woeful plaints of such as weep,  
Oppressed by their superiors most unkind.  
Helping with thy advice that to redress,  
That otherwise would countries bane increase.   

To framing of good laws thou lendest thine ear,  
With purse and help in service of thy Prince;  
Country and neighbours with a tender care,  
Of being forward people to incense.  
To the right service of Almighty God,  
And breaking superstitious heavy clod.   

Be thou as foreman in this jewrie grave,  
Receive a rob befitting such a wight:  
Let give thy sentence, against deceitful knave,  
Be to his hid deceit an open light.  
Receive of people thanks and worthy praise,  
In heaven of God, the crown which never decay.    

Upright judge.  

WIth gravity and with indifference,  
Thou equally dost judge all things in right  
With Just sealed weights, & with an even balance,  
Thou waiyest causes in the public sight,  
Of all the world not tendering bribe or fee,  
Which shows the fear of God to stand in thee.   

The heavens maker and the earthly Kings,  
Having respect to that thy Godly care:  
For truly weighing all unequal things,  
Have placed thee in a princely seat full rare.  
Which place of their own people destitute,  
They have appointed thee to execute.   

Allowing thee not only worldly substance,  
For thy advancement fore the face of men,  
But honourable title and pre-eminence,  
Over all other people where and when  
Different Causes are to be decided,  
That by thy wisdom all may well be giuded.   

Aswell in Controversies and debates,  
As in disorders toward King and land,  
committed by outrageous runagates,  
Rebellious Traitors or any other man,  
Thy golden wisdom is with grace enamelld,  
Wherefore we crave thee here to be inpanneled.    

Zealous Patron.  

pattern of Pitey which with trembling fear,  
Most willingly to house of God repairest:  
Attentively his holy word to hear,  
Spreading abroad thy branches with the fairest.  
And having taken talon from the Lord,  
Dost not the same within the ground uphord.   

But makest use of every part thereof,  
Not putting Candle underneath a cover:  
As doth the Careless servant with a scoff,  
Concealing heavenly secrets from his brother.  
All thy delight is in the house of prayer  
Thy contemplations sound into the air.   

Thou sittest not in an un-godly seat,  
Nor yet thou standest in the sinner's way,  
Thou art elect of God the Lord so great,  
As Chosen vessel him thou dost obey,  
Studying each time, each hour, each day, and night,  
How to find out the heavenly paths aright.   

Thou stand'st in field under the Cross of Christ,  
In his defence and service every hour:  
unmovable and firm there doth consist,  
Thy faith in God acknowledging his Power.  
Grace light upon thee stand in God's defence,  
'Gainst sinful wight to hear the evidence.    

Faithful Minister.  

Heavenly Physician for the feeble soul,  
Ministering Physic of a pleasant taste:  
Of comfortable herbs spiritual,  
Excerped from the Godly gardens waste,  
Clothing that naked soul in Godly raiment,  
Thou shalt receive an heavenly seat for payment.   

Thy silly flocks in pleasant pastures green,  
Go feeding, fat, and full of Choysed flowers:  
Not penned nor pounded in a pinfold keen,  
Yet still defended from the ravening powers,  
In spite of Romish shepherd and his train,  
Thou grazest with them on the pleasant plain.   

Thou lead'st them not among the thorns and briars  
Tearing their fleeces, neither dost permit:  
Their carcases to stick in clammy myers,  
They walk secure from deep and dangerous pit,  
Then guide we pray thee with thy shepherd's hook,  
Those of this jury from a partial Crook.   

Take place among them, pass thy judgement freely,  
According as thou findest the guilty mate:  
Sift out and search their crafty dealings nearly,  
That being opened men may see the state.  
Wherein these foul and exercrable Crew,  
Have lived in spite of other men and you.    

Godly Magistrate.  

LIkewall to City in a Godly care,  
Thou dost encompass those the which thou guidest  
Upholding them in truth and virtue rare,  
And from that form and order never slidest,  
Whip to disordered, riotous and rude,  
Crown, to the Godly, virtuous and good.   

Within thy liberty thou dost forecast,  
To benefit the place wherein thou dwellest:  
And all with plenty still thou surely hast  
Vicious and wicked members thou expellest.  
Weeding out clean the Couchy stinking weed,  
That fain within the ground would shed her seed.   

To the sick-man most apt th' art to extend  
Thy Physic, therewithal to raise him up:  
To lame thou art a Crouch, an eye to blind,  
The feeble Creatures Comfortable cup.  
The orphans poor thou hoverest with thy wings,  
From the extortioners accursed stings.   

Now in this jury we most surely mean,  
That thou support and aid us with thy help.  
As the fifth ballaster whereon we lean,  
For punishment of want on foolish whelp.  
Unruly Creatures are so sprung and grown,  
That of necessity they must be mown.    

Loyal Subject.  

IN true obedience and loyalty,  
With tenderest care of Princes will performing:  
To people's good and Prince's royalty,  
Pretended mischiefs still thou art reforming.  
Most ready th' art to show and eke to do,  
Thy best endeavour to give Caesar's due.   

With might and main continual vigilancy,  
Still priest to arms and ready in pursuing  
The traitorous heart full stuffed with arrogancy,  
To that corrupt heart's downfall and undoing.  
Ready to boult and prudently to sift,  
Their secret treason and their Crafty shift,   

To patefie the Erroneous sects and schimes,  
Which are so blazed and sown in many places:  
heretical unfaithful Atheisms,  
And treasons toward Kings imperial graces,  
Upholding state of land and justice seat,  
Thou dost abandon each difloyall feat.   

In this high court or session for reproof,  
Of domineering ill disordered mate:  
Thou art elected one in the behoof,  
Of heavenly throne and high celestial state,  
To give thy Censure with unfeigned heart,  
'Gainst malefactious knave for his desert.    

Charitable Benefactor.  

THou which with pity in thy heart art moved,  
Towards the needy soul with care oppressed,  
Thou blest of God, of earthly men beloved,  
For helping of the Orphan so distressed.  
Comforting widows, salving sick-man's sore,  
Aiding the simple, with fall of thy store.   

Not as a greedy miser which doth hoard,  
All in his coffers till his day of dying.  
And at the last like cormorant absurd,  
Is forced to distribute bedrid lying.  
But art with willing heart in readiness,  
Apt to redress the poor man's neediness.   

We want thy helping hand to aid us here,  
Being in place appointed for redress  
Of impious wrongs against the country dear:  
Heaven grant us favour, fortune, and success  
To prime away the foggy mowldring moss,  
Ore-growing fruitful tree with filthy dross.   

Spend now some time to honour of thy Lord,  
The country's wealth, and subjects peaceful living.  
In heaven thou shalt be paid, thy whole reward,  
Thou shalt have people's praises and thanksgiving.  
With worldly wealth the Lord hath thee endued,  
When by himself the wicked were pursued.    

Careful Parent.  

TO heavens glory, and terrestrial joy,  
The heavenly father, father to us all,  
Created man, and Satan to annoy,  
Hath by his son released him from his thrall.  
Only to work salvation for that creature,  
Which is of his proportion face and feature.   

Thou undersianding wherefore thou wert framed,  
Hast sown the godly seed of purpose culled,  
To breaking of the wanton child untamed,  
When by persuasion he would not be ruled,  
And hast in godly nurture trained him up,  
From tasting of the Romish damned cup.   

Instructing him in a religious kind,  
In knowledge of the heavenly father's will:  
Provoking him, and putting in his mind,  
The holy Scriptures that he may fulfil,  
The duty that he oweth to God above,  
To live with neighbours in unfeigned love.   

It is most fitting thou shouldst take a place,  
To hear and to determine every fault  
Which is committed by the brazen face,  
Of shameless rascal which is good for nought.  
Their cheats and cousinages are abroad so plenty,  
Of grace and goodness world's even almost empty.    

Obedient Child.  

IN honour, love, and true obedience,  
Towards thy Parents dutiful and kind:  
Thou hast endeavoured with diligence,  
To be submissive and of lowly mind.  
All to enlarge, increase, and to prolong,  
Thy happy days, (as heavenly Father's tongue.   

Hath openly upon the Mount declared,  
In the pronouncing of his holy laws:)  
The path to heavens kingdom is prepared,  
For thee to walk, suppressing hellish claws.  
Which have been raking at the heavens anointed,  
To walk the paths forbidden and unappointed.   

Meek in behaviour, courteous in speech,  
Lowly and reverent to all thy betters:  
Orderly given, loath for to impeach  
Thy nurture, being trained in godly letters.  
heavens due bewater that young tender plant,  
A sweet increase God grant it never want.   

That as a second Daniel it foresee,  
And pry into deceitful false devices:  
Of false accusing Elders, and to be  
A judge to punish such bad enterprises,  
As are committed by a damned sect,  
Of rogues and vagabonds the Hell's elect.    

Sure Friend.  

NOt like Thirsites envious and repining,  
In maledictious order thou hast lived:  
But prone and ready still to be adjoining,  
In friendly amity and never grieved.  
To be a loyal and true hearted friend,  
In case of charge assured to the end.   

Damon by right and title thou art called,  
For to the last to Pythias thou didst stand:  
Before the tyrant proffering to be haled,  
For him to death, and gav'st that tyrant band  
For his forthcoming, which had he but slacked,  
Thyself for him had been most surely racked.   

Thou hast not with blanditious flatteries,  
Soothed up thy friend in hope of any gain:  
Giving fair words, and turning them to mockeries  
Tainting thy conscience then to work him pain.  
But rather than to make thy friend a pray,  
Thyself thou hast endangered many away.   

Caring for conscience how thou mayst uphold,  
It guiltless of revealing secret things:  
Most willing thou hast been still to unfold,  
The mischief which to friend a mischief brings.  
Then in this friendly knot come take a place,  
To heavens glory, and to hell's disgrace.    

Peacemaker.  

TRoubled in mind at each dissentious sound,  
Or motion of thy neighbours disagreeing:  
Thy chiefest care hath been to find the ground,  
Of all their discord, studying and foreseeing  
The way to make an universal peace,  
To bring the factious hearts to quietness.   

Who from the roots of envies hateful branches,  
Have practised the most accursed devices:  
Each against other plotting of mischances,  
To breed contentions and detested vices.  
Causing not only worldly expense and charges,  
But secret malice, which souls pain enlarges.   

Most worthy thou in the superior place,  
Bearing the title of the Child of God  
Shouldst have been set disposing of that grace,  
Committed to thee for reproof, of odd  
Disordered creatures, foul and naughty doings,  
Delighting falsehood, theft, and blood imbrewing.   

In heavens service to the Father's peace,  
For executing justice, and upholding  
Of truth: and for the punishment of vice,  
In justice seat we place thee at unfolding  
Of those disorderly accursed slights,  
As have been used by untamed wights.    

Lowly minded.  

NOt surly Pompous, scornful foolish proud,  
Though not of base house, stock or parents sprung,  
But lowly minded, meek, and of a good  
And kind behaviour, with a gentle tongue.  
Ready to bow to mighty Potentates,  
And humble to the poor and meaner states.   

A worthy brother not to be abjected,  
From the society and godly knot,  
(In heavens behalf) of jewrie here elected,  
And now impanelled, hardly to be got.  
Seek all the world for twelve such other more,  
You'll ' never find them in the earthly store.   

Therefore to Court and council let us high us,  
Their guilty persons shall be all brought in:  
Like justice sword my whip shall here stand by us,  
To take sir Rogue and Rascal by the skin,  
Come knaves and wretched whores with all your train  
I'll lead you trenchmore to another strain.   

Down with your Triggens, ho me thinks you leap  
Already round and capering on the toe:  
How fine you'll ' jump when you behold my whip,  
I'll cleach you sound all before you go.  
I'll teach you th'capers and the antic jumps,  
Put off your gaskins, quick, put on your pumps.     

To all and singullar backbiters, Slothful teachers, Graceless Truants, Cokring Parents, Cheating thieves and Cutpurses, Drunken Scoundrels, Highway haunters, Shifting Gamesters, Whoremongers, Gluttonous Epicures, tyrants, and merceles Villains, Covetous Parsons, Proud Knaves, Extortioners, Idle Caterpillars, profane SWearers, Atheists, and unbelievers, Punks, Bawds, Makebates and Tattling Gospips, Liars, and Apple-squires, Witches, Conjurers, and Enchanters, Beggars, Idle Rogues, and Sergeant Madmen, Fools, Flattering Maplefaces, Cruel Masters and Dames, and Ungodly Servants.  
KICHARD WEST wisheth due punishment sound paid them for their deserts and at the end of the Whippers Court true repentance of sins.  
per Christum dominum nostrum. Amen.  

CEase you sad Nymphs your Delia to bemoan,  
For she a joyful life since death hath gained:  
And you pale Dimenes' daughters cease to groan,  
For Phaeton was for his folly pained.  
The one by nature, but the other died,  
Cast Down by jove, from Heaven for his great pride   

It grieves me sore to see your sad laments,  
In the bewailing of so great your friends:  
Look but about who's this that parchment rends,  
Sure he brings news that to lamenting tends.  
'tis not for one alone to lend his ear,  
For all are nought and so 'twill prove I fear.   

Sure 'tis foam Lawyer or some worthy man,  
So by his habit he doth seem to be:  
By his black gown, his pen and ink in hand,  
Paper and Dust box, frowning face and eye,  
He hath a scroll all full of written names,  
He calls in order masters Men and Dames.   

What should it mean why 'tis no brewer's clerk,  
Clerk of no kitchen nor of any Church:  
Steward of hell no no no who then? hark,  
I'll stand a loof and keep out of his lurch.  
He hath a great long launching whip behind him.  
I cannot stealt I know not how to blind him.   

Take heed my masters you with whom he reckons,  
It seems he'll pay you all your wages sound:  
Ha, let me see whose that to whom be beckons,  
he's very brief, he begins to call him roundly,  
What fellows that, that to him doth trudge,  
There sits a jury by him, he's a judge.   

Backbiter.  

YOu Mai. Silke-strings, bawdy emblem maker,  
Rhymer and Ridler Come into the court:  
Maker of songs by every channel raker,  
You are indicted here what all a-mort,  
Hold up your hand hear your inditment read,  
'twill cost, ye a whipping else I'll lose my head.   

And wherefore ist? because you spend your time,  
All the whole day among your bawdy queans:  
In ribald talk and loathsome filthy rhymes,  
Stperfluously it floweth out in streams.  
Backbiting all men in a hidden sort,  
Come, come, untruss, O here is gallant sport   

And more than that for still you do invent,  
Seditious like 'gainst all men to exclaim:  
In bawdy ballads being wholly bend,  
In sort undecent men unknown to blame.  
Thinking to excuse yourself by giving quipps,  
'Gainst those that never deserved your railing nips,   

What should I stand to tell you all your tricks?  
I should backbite men then as well as you,  
Nor yet your rabble's altogether mix,  
It were an endless work I tell you true.  
A jail delivyry further I must make,  
Of other knaves with you that share a stake.    

Slothful teacher.  

YOu that in gown befurrd with rod in hand,  
Like Dominator over silly boys:  
Bear such abreadth among that silly band,  
And make them with their babbling keep an noise,  
Only to blind those that pass by the school,  
You ere indited here: Come in you fool.   

Why you forsooth ant please you have a slight,  
To make a Monitor among those apes:  
youar' there i'the morn and come no more till night  
Next day you whip them all, there's none that scaps  
Whose fault ist that they loiter sport and play,  
Who should be there he that's not there all day?   

Thus by your negligence not only you,  
Spend time in vain (the more shame for you sir)  
(Not like a Careful man as others do,)  
But make poor silly Children to incur,  
There parents anger, and to ere in wit,  
And practice ill, 'gainst whom soever it hit.   

Come, Come, untruss, indeed y''re in great fault,  
I cannot spare you'faith I pray dispatch:  
Are you a master now you shall be taught,  
How think you now sir have you met your match,  
Heeres no commanding rod your chair or stool,  
y'had sped far better if y'had stayed at school.    

Graceless Truant.  

YOu that can take your breakfast in your hand,  
Your Pen and Ink, your Satchel at your back:  
And blind your parents, you that must be manned,  
To the schoole-doore like an ungodly crack.  
For fear of running out 'mongst cutpurse boys,  
To play at Trap, at nine-holes and such toys.   

Neglecting that which for your sake your friends,  
To their great cost would willingly bestow:  
All for your good, yet you to make amends,  
Practise your own pernicious overthrow.  
Cash ring all the duty that is due  
By God's laws to your parents all from you.   

What is the means (but want of sound correcting)  
That in you fall beginning with a little:  
Pilfering and stealing, all good course objecting,  
Till master graund-theefe makes you venture much  
Then from Bridewell, New gate, or other jail,  
Either y'are hanged or whipped at a Cart's tail.   

By which good silly Father's heavy heart,  
With careful mother's sorrow to't ' annexed:  
Makes them repent each of them for their part,  
Thy coming to the world theyare so perplexed.  
Untruss thou villain, never be in hope,  
I'll whip thee from the hangman and the rope.    

Cockering Parents.  

YOu wanton parents (that your properest term)  
The roots of wantonness in every child:  
Supporting children's pleasures so infirm,  
By cocking of your lobkin louts so wild,  
Still yielding to them at each fond request,  
The fames the way that makes a jail their nest.   

Here is the court there is a suit Comenced,  
Against you jointly by a declaration:  
Being found guilty you shallbe recompensed,  
As is your child before the self same fashion.  
More guilty you are found then witless child,  
For flattering him in glavering wise so mild.   

When child to pilfering any way is bend,  
Purloining, lying, slandering or debate:  
Carrying of factious tales found evident,  
Or guilty of assisting thievish mate,  
Where's his receiver sooner than yourselves,  
Who lends more listening ears to make bate-elues,   

Because 'tis fit to keep your children down,  
Which peradventure you'll ' forget to do:  
Untruss sir knave, and I'll put of your gown,  
Breech, Smock and Petticoat I tell you true.  
I'll lace your quirks full sound that procures.  
Dericke to hang himself and none of yours.    

Cheating thieves & Cutpurses.  

ungodly signior, you that walk in shape,  
Of a good gentleman with glorious tongue:  
Though for a prey you altogether gape,  
Traversing the City all the streets along.  
besieging every crowd in every place,  
And will undo a man before his face.   

Having your instrumental tools and knives,  
To show your cunning over labouring people:  
Undoing them, their children and their wives,  
You show no pity on the poorest cripple,  
Come how it will, so you lay hold upon't,  
You care not if men's lives should lie upon't.   

In fields and highways, with purloined things,  
As Buttens, Cambric, Rapiers, and such like:  
Old Hats, or Cloaks, or counterfeited rings,  
And such like merchandise you daily seek.  
To overreach poor simple minded wretches,  
In cheating wife by such your Tyburn fetches.   

Now forasmuch as you play least in sight,  
That Master Derrick cannot seize upon you,  
I have a deputation to indite,  
All your whole sect my blessing will come on you.  
And with my whip I'll lead you such a course,  
Shall save you riding on the three legged horse.    

Drunken Scoundrel.  

THou that to Tippling and to quaffing still,  
Appliest thy mind, and hatest a virtuous race:  
Carousing every hour with every lil,  
Gunpowder bellied with a bagpipe face.  
Till that with drink thou art so overblown,  
That all thy shameless life is seen and shown.   

Reeling, and staggering, and blaspheming God,  
With bitter oaths, and loathsome bawdy songs:  
Thinkst thou or not, hast thou deserved the rod,  
By thy transgressing in these odious wrongs,  
The holy Psalms on every drunken seat,  
Thou hammerest out when thou canst scarcely speak.   

And with a thousand cursings thou disdainest,  
Those blessed creatures which the Lord hath sent,  
Thou makest no spare, for why? as king thou reignest,  
The head of sinners: ready for to rend  
God in two pieces. Ah thou odious wretch,  
I want a cord for thee to make thee stretch.   

But since I have no cord, I have a whip,  
Look here you knave, here's whipcord strung with wire,  
Down with your gaskins, now I'll make you skip  
Out of your drunken skin, and for your higher,  
Dance A charanto, though you like not that,  
'tis better sport, then whipping of the Cat.    

Way-walker.  

GEntlemen your charities for the love of God,  
We are poor Soldiers newly come from France:  
In hard adventures for you we have trod,  
In sturdy service, though it be our chance  
In our own countries now to crave relief,  
We have been Captains, our exploits the chief.   

When came you over? Friday seven-night last,  
God is our judge, and to our great expenses:  
We had of foreign coin, well, that is past,  
Ye'a spent it all among your pretty wenches,  
No God renounce us, by a storm at Sea,  
We were compelled to throw much goods away.   

I you say well, but as I chanced to ride  
To Highgate ward, some sixteen weeks ago:  
Where you were standing by the highway side,  
With every one his trull, what ist not so?  
'Twas but to crave an alms, it was no worse:  
You spoke me fair, but took away my purse.   

You shameless rascals, thus you do abuse,  
The worthy name of soldiers by your roguing:  
You never were in service, you refuse  
To leave this shameless course & kind of progging.  
Come Countus mountus, down with all your hose,  
Your bums shall feel my whip, your sconce the blows:    

Gamester.  

WHat Mozus Auus, with a pair of Dice?  
Ready to open a pair of holy Tables:  
Fine nimble fingered knave, that in a trice,  
Will cog a Die, and twenty other Fables,  
Within this hour he scarcely had a penny,  
Now for a hundred pound he'll play with any.   

Your tricks are sirrah, first to fetch men in,  
Under a simple colour that you use:  
As ignorantly playing, first they win,  
You oversee your game, or so to lose.  
At last poor Butter-making john begins,  
Instead of money to go count his pings.   

And further sirrah, you except no time,  
For Carding, bowling, or any other play:  
Sundays or holy, when the Bells do chime,  
Instead of Church you driely march away.  
Into a Cook's shop, Alehouse, 'tis your guise,  
To meditate on pots and Mutton pies.   

And in that service you remember God,  
But how? by swearing by his heavenly name:  
To dearest friend you have, you'll ' wink and nod,  
But cut his throat for two pence if you can.  
Untruss your trunks, your tail and I must play,  
A game at tick tack ere you pass away.    

Whoremonger.  

NOw Cavaliero you have been at Paul's,  
At forenoon's sermon? whether walk you now  
To Lincoln's Inn, the Temple, or the Rolls,  
And so to Moor gate to the Golden plough?  
In the after no one you'll walk a turn or two,  
About Moore-field the grounds all leveled new.   

The winds too high, the dust flies in your eyes,  
'tis paltry walking there till th'elms be grown:  
A better place than that you can devise,  
Towards the Curtain than you must be gone,  
The garden alleys paled on either side,  
if'ft be too narrow, walking there you slide.   

Into a house among a bawdy crew,  
Of damned whores; ay there's your whole delight:  
Let purse and time go which way 'twill for you,  
Buss me sweet rogue till moneys all gone quite.  
Then curse and swear how shall we do for more,  
At bawdy house they go not on the score.   

Then to high way or other pilfering course,  
You do betake yourself to be maintained:  
Picking of locks or else to stealing horse,  
After y''re taken ●hen you must be hanged,  
Untruss you rascal, quick, dispatch and strip you,  
For these your bawdy tricks I'll sound whip you.    

Epicure.  

BEane-bellied Churl thou filthy clenchpoop clown  
Shaped like a butterfirkin o greacy face,  
Thy fame for eating ringeth through the town,  
To thy discredit and most foul disgrace,  
If all day long thou dost not eat and glut,  
Thy belly thinketh that thy throat is cut.   

Twenty poor men with that thou devourest,  
Would thoroughly be every day content:  
To see another eat or drink thou lourest,  
As all the victuals in the world were spent.  
When thou hast filled thy never-contented crop,  
Down like a dog thou fallest to catch a nap.   

Being awake thou utterst out the old,  
And on a fresh begin to feed again:  
In Pluto's register thou art enrolled,  
As a chief spoile-good, and a earthly bane.  
To be the mean so many people famish,  
Thou stinkst before the face of God most rammish,   

Untruss thou barrel; o my sweet child chopper,  
Welcome to school to me seest thou my whip:  
When thou hast tasted some of my school butter,  
Thy limbs will be so liethy thou wilt leap.  
Hay, how he dances, Pen and ink and paper,  
To chronicle up how nimbly he can caper.    

Merciless Tyrants and Villains.  

Flint-hearted our most devilish and despiteful,  
Making a sport of envious cruel deeds:  
Tending to blood to whom it is delightful,  
To hear of any murder that exceeds.  
Be it on aged man or tender child,  
Thou thinkst it cannot be to strange or vild.   

Thy chiefest care is still for new devices,  
How to torment poor silly minded creatures:  
Craving thy mercy for such enterprises,  
As be offensive by their silly meatures.  
Talk not to thee of mercy nor forgiving,  
For thou wilt pardon never a creature living.   

Now Master Suck-blood I have found a trick,  
How to requite your kindness to the poor:  
Three yards of wire and whipcord in a whip,  
I have erected here and all to scour.  
Your carcase from the shoulders to the heels,  
I'll whip your skin till all your carcase dreeles.   

Untruss your Pipdianos never quake,  
I swear I'll never remit your bloody deeds  
Dispatch I'll make your pagatron to shake,  
And give you ierry lickum till it bleeds.  
If this my penance have no power on you,  
Next time the Devil he will seize upon you.    

Covetous Person.  

YOu that are troubled with a golden care,  
I mean your care of hoarding worldly wealth,  
Not caring by what means or way to rear,  
Your substance be it well got or by stealth,  
But so you have it hoardward in your bags,  
You care not if your father go in rags.   

What do you pass in flattery by allurements,  
To induce poor servants by a cunning means:  
To rob their friends or masters, your procurements  
Are the supporters of all thieves and queans.  
Rascals and runagates you with liquorish things,  
Are all the way that youth to folly brings.   

When pilfering Tom hath been abroad at work,  
Cheating or picking poketts if he scape:  
Your are his landlord at your house he'll lurk,  
Let constable and officers go scrape.  
Y'are of such wealth by such most dam'd defects,  
That never a man or neighbour you suspect.   

Who Master Monymonger a good old man?  
And why his money covers all his crimes:  
He walks demurely with his cap in hand,  
More knave than all the rest a thousand times,  
But with my whip for all your money gabs,  
I mean to ierre-lick your old knaves rags.    

Proud Knave.  

Oatmeal mouthed gentleman, get up your surly Ass  
john Suck-egges picture proud, & yet a noddy:  
Y''re stout in heart, behold but in a glass,  
Your Coxcombks picture, and fantastic body▪  
Y''re so befashioned I know not where to find you,  
Ere long I trow you'll ' wear your nose behind you.   

All that thou hast in money and in lands,  
Tom Taylor seizeth on to please a goose:  
Paul's alley Meg, than she comes in for bands  
And cuffs new fashioned, turn but Margaret lose,  
For French and Dutch, for Spanish and Polony,  
she'll ' set you forth in coxcombs shape for money   

Then for a Feather to Blackfriars gate,  
A sword and dagger, boots & ringling spurs,  
Within a week the fashion altars, strait  
Off goes that gallant suit among the curs,  
Why what carest thou, thy father hath good lands  
The rent but yestet-night came to thy hands.   

Yet thouart borne but meanly in degree,  
Silly poor web, thy fathers goes to plow,  
All he can get he's feign to lay on thee;  
Another gallant suit a making now:  
Work master Taylor, pray you work a pace,  
And with my whip the whilst I'll set on lace.    

Extortioner.  

THou miserable caitiff, which with usury,  
Extortionably without conscience dost encroach  
The poor man's living, driven by necessity  
To borrow money: let him not approach  
Without a band, a gage, a pawn, or some amends,  
Exceeding ten times that this varlet lends.   

If he foreslack, or break but one poor hour,  
Neglecting of the payment of that sum  
Little or much, than he is in thy power,  
Thou suest his bond, poor wretch he is undone.  
His gage or pawn, thou tak'st by bill of sale,  
'Tis fully thine, if near so little he fail.   

Ten in the hundred, not twice ten to that,  
Cannot content thee for thy moneys lone:  
If less he proffer than thou tellest him flat,  
Thou canst not lend: the money's not thine own:  
Either thou'lt gall his heart and make it bleed,  
Or disappoint him in his greatest need.   

Impious and cankered Cur, if I should spare,  
And suffer thee to live in such a kind:  
The devil of hell himself would come and tear  
Thee all to pieces: no i'll whip thee blind.  
For thy extortion which poor man doth nip,  
I'll pay the hire, and use for't with my whip.    

Idle Caterpillar.  

AH goodman snekesby, tender fingered rogue,  
Idle companion, you that will not work:  
But round about the fields and streets go proge,  
And all day in the bowling alley lurk,  
Spinning of streat-webs, hunting after plays,  
Dice, Cards, and whores, and all accursed ways.   

Not being able for thy life to set,  
Thy hand to any exercise or pains:  
Towards thy living any thing to get,  
To goodness never thou appliest thy brains.  
Either in Paul's all day, thou't ' sit and sleep,  
Else to some bawdy miching Ale house creep.   

How canst thou shift to pass away the day,  
Either thou must have money or a dew:  
Pilfering and stealing needs must be the way,  
Thou art ringleader of the filthy crew.  
Thou fearest not Marshal, Newgate, nor Bridewell,  
Their punishment, thou canst already tell.   

But goodman Rascal you did never see,  
So fine a clacking whip as I have made,  
To teach your idle skin activity,  
Come hoist arise, come up you lazy jade.  
Come hayt aree, i'll jerk your idle sides,  
The slothful grief upon your shoulders rides.    

Profane Swearers.  

Nay here come they that I have long expected  
Shakebag of Kent, and Ruffianly Dick Coomes:  
Swearing Blackwill, the devils chief elected,  
The seeds and flowers that Pluto sheds & blooms.  
Hell's chief supporters and her royal states,  
The very hooks and hinges of her gates.   

The name of God, and all his blessed substance,  
They spare not to blaspheme and take in vain:  
The seed of Cain, they are of his alliance,  
Bloodsuckers, murderers, and all for gain.  
In swearing, and in blood's their chiefest boast,  
Another sect there are, Knights of the post.   

Which without conscience will swear and stare,  
Against a man they never saw before:  
And petty swearers, such as will not spare,  
To set themselves upon the devils score.  
Cursing their bodies, facing down the things,  
Which truth apparently to light oft brings.   

You Scoundrels, swear, and do the best you can,  
Swagger, and quarrel, fight, and chafe your sills:  
At all your sundry weapons curse and ba●,  
I'll beat you down, with all your forest bills.  
I have a whip will make your hides to smart,  
‛ Twi●l break no bones, but sting you to the heart.    

Atheist, Anabaptist, and unbelievers.  

THou unbelieving villain which dost think▪  
That heaven & earth & all was made by nature,  
Not framed of God: That even at hell mouths brink  
Thou infidel and most for-saken creature,  
Recant thy Error for there is a God,  
One that can make thee feel his heavy rod.   

But thou'lt not stick most openly to say,  
There is no God, the scriptures are but fables:  
Made and devised only to gainsay,  
And to prevent and disappoint the troubles.  
Which one man 'gainst the other still doth plot,  
For wealth and substance sake wert not for that.   

Thou livest in pomp and pride, thou hast not felt,  
The hand of God, he hath not taught thy state:  
Nor laid his finger to decrease thy wealth,  
He never sought thy substance to abate,  
But still hath suffered thee to abuse his name,  
Looking at length thou shouldst thyself reclaim.   

Yet thou in wickedness dost wander still,  
And wouldst continue in thy blasphemy:  
I'll see thee hanged ere thou shalt have thy will,  
To God's dishonour Satan's chiefest enemy.  
For I'll so whip you that you shall believe,  
The devils horns do hold you by the sleeve.    

Punks, and Shameless Whores.  

TAllow faced whores, diseased with the Pox,  
Through most inordinate and filthy lust:  
Tricked up and trimmed in your harlot's locks,  
All to conceal your filthy Cankered rust.  
And to bring youth by your alluring words,  
To all the mischief that the world affords.   

To rob and steal to pillfer and purloin,  
Their masters goods, and all that they can get:  
To trick and trim and make your bodies fine,  
How they come by it you do not respect.  
When they have got what they can rap and run,  
You'll be the first shall hand them if you can.   

Your dainty mouths long after sweetest fare,  
You must have wine the best that can be gotten:  
Faith Mistress Susan, a caudle is very rare,  
I but alas long time it cannot cotton.  
Though for a while you rub it out in pride,  
Yet at the length your whoredom will be spied.   

Where are you then, faith clean out of request,  
Detested loathed, utterly forsaken,  
Noted and flouted like a shameless beast,  
With my whip therefore you must now be beaten,  
Of with your Mask and all your whore's attire,  
I'll lace your skirts with whipcord strung with wire    

Bawds.  

NOw Mother Beeton where dwell you? you jade  
For soothe i'the lane that leads to spittlefeild:  
What occupation are you what's your trade?  
My house a pretty wench forsooth will yield.  
A pot of good ale good wine or a fire,  
You shall have any thing you can desire.   

Your trades to lusk (you jade) about the Inns,  
To see what country wenches come to town.  
To seek for service then this witch begins,  
To speak them fair: I pray sweet heart sit down,  
Y'are weary I woosse what do ye want a service,  
I'll help you to a very gallaint mistress.   

she'll give great wages if so be she like you,  
Pray go with me I'll bring you to her speech:  
What can you wash or starch well (I beseek you)  
She bids her drink then with a Crafty fetch,  
The gallant mistress which she doth provide,  
'tis Meg was carted at Alhallantide.   

Where she continewes not a month or more,  
But she is mad as bold as any other:  
A shameless strumpet and an arraunt whore,  
One that will cut the throat of her own brother,  
Old jade I'll whip thee sound thouart th'undoing,  
Of many maids and Comely proper women.    

Make bats & tattling Gossips.  

YOu that at Conduits, and such other places,  
The alehouse, bakehouse, or the washing block  
Meet daily, talking with your brazen faces,  
Of people's matters which concern you not.  
You sow such discord twixt the man and wife,  
You set a thousand at debate and strife.   

With truly Gossip, such a one doth this,  
And William's wife went forth with john the Cooper:  
Simon called Susan whore: why truly Sisse:  
Francis and Mary's gone abroad to supper.  
Were it my case, as it is mother jones,  
I'd tear the flesh from off the villains bones.   

What's this concerning you or your affairs,  
Your mind should only be about your work:  
To earn your living should be all your care,  
And not by th'alehouse fire still to lurk.  
Gauging your husband's goods for Ale and Beer,  
You'll ' sell your smocks & kerchers for good cheer.   

Get home you Mawkes from off your gossip's seat,  
Take heed of meddling any more of others:  
I'll make your back, your sides and shoulders sweat,  
And jerk you till you shed your Gossip's feathers.  
Turn up your tippet, I'll teach you to prate,  
Your shoulders and my whip are fallen at bate.    

Liars.  

HEre comes a proper child, a well faced youth,  
With very neat apparel, comely making:  
Where have you been my child? forsooth in truth  
I was but where my mother's maide's a baking,  
O lying villain, all this livelong day,  
He hath been with the cutpurse boys at play.   

What this is one of these that cannot speak  
Three words, but two of them shall be a lie:  
Is grace gone from you? is your faith so weak,  
To stand in falsehood? what's the cause or why?  
Or who should move thee thus to speak the word,  
Which can no truth nor certainty afford.   

Thy credit's cracked, there's no man that will trust thee  
If thou shouldst tell a thousand certain tales:  
All honest men abandon and detest thee,  
Each true man cries out, and upon thee rails.  
They do eschew, abandon and detest  
A liar, worse than any savage beast.   

Nimble tongued Nicholas (as the Proverb saith)  
He that will lie will steal: but as for you,  
I have a whip will remedy in faith,  
The tripping of your tongues not speaking true.  
Untruss you Rascal, nay a knave so young,  
Must learn to rule his false and lying tongue.    

Panders & Apple-squires.  

GEntelemen Servitors, and the chief retainers,  
To old Meg Curtis, and her bawdy tenants,  
Mall Clevelyes' pages, though but little gainers,  
For in a conscience you become their servants▪  
Only to have your bawdry of freecost,  
Y''re goodman of the house, y''re called mine host.   

You colour whoredom in an antic show,  
You'll ' walk before a whore in a blue coat,  
Or livery cloak, your sword and dagger to,  
Your boots all dirty in a spotted Hat,  
She like a country-Gentlewoman wanders,  
After your heels to bawdy rascals chambers.   

And thus you live upon a whore's reversion,  
Upholding them in all their whorish doings:  
'Tis good you should, why'tis your occupation,  
To entertain their clients in their wooings.  
When you have made them drunk, you'll ' rob them quite  
Of all they have, and turn them out at night.   

O y''re a notable and a cheating rogue,  
Who'd think your maple-face should have it in you,  
To rob a man and after like a Dog,  
To lay him down well near a furlong from you,  
Come you base slave, and hold your tippet up,  
For you shall drink though but of a dry cup.    

Witches, Sorcerers, Conjurers, and Enchanters:  

YOu Cankered old whore, you whose nose and chin  
Touch one another y''re so old and crooked  
when you should mind your soul's health, you begin  
To wax unlucky, who ist that provoked,  
Your beldames skin to witchcraft and such evil,  
But even your father Lucifer the devil:   

You Nigro muzell in the devils likeness,  
Clothed in black with white rod in your hand:  
You that can conjure all the clouds to thickness,  
Blustering and raining, troubling all the land.  
Which are invested so with hellish skill,  
You blow down trees and houses when you will,   

Troubling and perplexing every creature,  
With fiery lightnings thunderclaps and showers,  
The heaven yet keeps them from your fiery meature,  
And utterly everts your hellish powers,  
When all your witchcrafts past and earth be shaken  
Dericke will truss you up when your are taken.   

But ere you go for all your last offences,  
Vnluckines and troubling of the land:  
Behold my whip; here's one that recompenses,  
All the whole rogry you have took in hand.  
For all your witchcrafts showers of rain & thunder  
I think my whip will make your shoulders wonder.    

Beggars, Idle Rogues, and Counterfeit madmen.  

YOu sturdy rogues and harlots that do lie,  
Begging and craving still at every door:  
Some upon stiltes and crouches, some there be,  
That never show yourselves but always poor,  
Under the colour of those tattered rags,  
You hoard great sums of money in your gabs.   

Another sort there is among you: They,  
Do rage with fury as if they were so frantic,  
They knew not what they did but every day,  
Make sport with stick and flowers, like an antic.  
Stout rogue and harlot counterfeited gomme,  
One calls herself poor Bess the other Tom.   

you're able all to serve and do good work,  
Were not the roots of rogry so enrooted:  
Within your lazy bodies: that you lurk,  
In fields or hedges daubed and bebooted.  
Up to the very eyes in dirt and mire,  
Bridewell hath often paid you for your hire.   

But that's a thing of nothing for y'have fellt,  
All the whole punishment Bridewell can yield:  
I tell you jolly youngsters I have smelled,  
A whip out for you which you cannot shield,  
Nor yet defend yourselves by all your shifts,  
From tasting of his frank and liberal gifts.    

Fools and Flattering Maplefaces  

YOu whom the Lord with wit hath so endued,  
With knowledge and perfection of skill:  
Yet for the want of grace it is eschewed,  
Folly embraced, having wit at will,  
Amongst the wise thouart holden as a scoff,  
To make thyself a fool and others laugh.   

thouart feign like Gnato, as a fawning Cur,  
To flatter and to soothe men for thy living:  
Up holding them in each Contrary word,  
Be it true or false thy sentence thou art giving.  
A flattering and deceitful tongue, and lying,  
Despise their own good, others theyare envying.   

Thou like a fool with coxcomb, motley coat,  
Ladle and pudding and a thousand toys:  
Goest like a coke's an noddy and a sot,  
Derided by a hundred little boys.  
O 'tis a proper sight to see your person,  
In all your foolish robes and flattering fashion,   

Come let me see how finely you can flatter,  
To save your Pakes and shoulder from the whip:  
Your sides will quake, your butocks they will clatter  
When you shall feel the smart, I know you'll skip  
Out of coxecomes coat, and leave your ladle,  
The whip for such a fools afitter babble.    

Cruel Masters and dames.  

YOu cruel masters that be put in trust,  
For bringing up of youth in Godly fear:  
To learn their trades, in godly kind Just,  
The keeping of their portions all your care.  
Whether they have their trades or have them not,  
Why what care you, when money you have got.   

You do detain that is sufficient from them,  
In meat and drink and other needful things:  
If they purloin or steal who can condemn them  
'tis your own selves, that youth to folly brings.  
Yet not withstanding if they do offend,  
Be sure to bounce them; never seek to mend.   

Or find redress in justice that they leave,  
Their naughty kind of negligence uncarefullnes,  
But mistress minks your wife for sooth must have,  
Her pennyworth from their pates, in hatefullnes,  
Ready to beat out silly chilldrens' brains,  
(If they offend but little) for their pains.   

Because misusing servants is so good,  
And want of needfall things that they should have:  
You dogged quean put of your cruel hood,  
Your coat & smock, down with your hose sir knave  
You shall receive the thing the which you need,  
My whip shall make your sides and shoulders bleed.    

Unconscionable and ungodly Servants.  

ANd you in whom bad conscience hath such root,  
That you respect not, so you have your fills  
Of necessary things: it makes no boot  
What work you do: you jacks and saucy jills.  
In masters absence pass the time away,  
In loitering or in sleeping all the day.   

Your eyelids must be opened, you be taught  
To leave your filching, and such other vice,  
Look here's my whip, it serveth not for nought,  
Make ready quick, I'll cleach you in a trice,  
A sounder set of slaves cannot be found,  
'twere good to whip about, another round.   

But as you like the cheer which you have had,  
Fall to your knaveries again once more:  
This gentle warning is not half so bad,  
As next will be, if you be on my score.  
If you offend, the next time I will have,  
A Tree and halter for a saucy knave.   

But my desire is that we may be friends,  
And all the world leave their disorder quite,  
If you do so, i'll make you all amends,  
I'll break my cord, and fling away my whip.  
Into my jewrie you shall all be taken,  
When you have all your knaveries off shaken.    
FINIS.