A BRIDE-BUSH, OR A WEDDING SERMON:  
Compendiously describing the duties of Married Persons:  
By performing whereof, Marriage shall be to them a great Help, which now find it a little Hell.  
Marriage is honourable amongst all men: but Whoremongers and Adulterers God will judge.  Heb. 13.4. 
Printed at London by William jaggard, for Nicholas Bourne, and are to be sold at his shop at the entrance into the Royal Exchange, 1617.   

To the Reader.  
CHristian Reader; Marriage hath scarce more that use, than that accuse it. Most men enter into this estate, and being entered complain thereof. They should rather complain of themselves. It is an unjust thing, and a fruit of ignorant pride, to cast the blame of our grievances upon God's ordinances. I had been happy (saith one) had I not been married. Then wast thou foolish both before and since thy marriage. Use it well, it shall add to thine happiness. We make bitter sauce, and cry out that the meat is bitter. Thou livest in Matrimony not after God's direction, but the rules (crooked rules they be) of thine own lusts, and then sayest, Oh that I had never married, Oh that I were unmarried. For shame keep silence, thy crying shows thy disease. Thou art indeed married to an ill companion (thy wicked flesh, that body of death, that old husband) and art pestered with its brood, and neither seekest a divorce from this tyrant, nor endeavourest to crucify the wicked offspring thereof. Hence are thy woes; not thy Husband, not thy Wife, but thy pride, thy passion, cause all this annoyance, all this discontentment. I labour in this little Treatise to plead the cause of marriage: not so much directly in speech, as indeed actually, by directing the married to the knowledge and practice of their duties, which would mend all. These what soever man and woman endeavour to follow, if they prove not marriage a solace to their souls, and refreshing to their other griefs, let me never but grieve.  
These things I commend to thine understanding, to thy life: use them, and then say how thou speedest. I intended them at first for a few, and now communicate them to many. It is no uncharitable (I am sure) I hope, no unprofitable deed. I desire thou shouldest make some use of them, therefore I make them public: if not, be ignorant and complain still. I mean them not to the learned, that can find out better directions for themselves, but to those whose place is not too good to learn of the meanest Teacher: even unto men of the same rank, as they for the most part were, to whom I spoke them. If this work profit, I am glad, than I know it shall please: howsoever, thou hast it Reader, and better shouldst have had, if my store afforded any better. I hope thou wilt not blame me for meaning well, and doing no harm. So I commend thee to the Lord.  
Banburie, August 20. 1608. Thine in the Lord, W. W.   

A BRIDE-BUSH: OR A Wedding Sermon.  
IF it were not grown out of custom to preach without a text, I should think that the fittest course for meetings of this nature. No one place of Scripture doth either directly contain, or plainly express the full duty of the married couple: which yet from many places may well be collected into the body of one discourse. But lest I should seem to affect novelty, in recalling the long disused practice of antiquity, I will make the ground of all my speech, those words of the Apostle Paul, Ephes. 5.23. where he saith,  The Husband is the wives head. 
THe comparison which the holy Ghost here useth, affords this general point, That there is a mutual bond of duty standing betwixt man and wife. They are indebted each to other in a reciprocal debt. The parcels and specials of which debt, I am at this time to declare unto you for the direction of all such as either are or shall be entered into this estate.  
2 Now that we may proceed in some order for the help of our own and your memories, these duties are all of two kinds. Some be principal, some less principal. Principal I term those, by the breach whereof this knot is dissolved and quite undone: and which being observed (other smaller infirmities notwithstanding) the bond remains entire on both sides.  
3 These main duties are two. The first is, the chaste keeping of each one's body each for other. The Husband must not dare to give himself to any woman in this world but to his wife; nor the wife to company with any under heaven besides her own husband. Against which duty if either of them shall offend, the party so transgressing, hath committed adultery, broken the covenant of God, removed the yoke from the yoke fellows neck, and laid himself open (if the Magistrate did as God's law commands) to the bloody stroke of a violent death. 
Leu. 20.40. Deut. 21.22.   
But if it be demanded, whether the party wronged may lawfully admit the other party again, after the offence known: I answer, that in case the man or woman have offended once or so, through, infirmity, and yet being convicted, shall by manifest outward tokens, testify his or her repentance, and sure desire of amendment, than it is meet and convenient that this offence be by the yoke-fellow passed by: for the love of the married couple should be very fervent and abundant, and therefore able to pass by great, yea the greatest wrongs, so far as it may with safe conscience be done. And we read not of any express commandment which enjoins a final separation. But again I say, that in case the party transgressing, shall continue in the begun fault, and declare himself irreformable, the party thus injuried is bound in conscience both to complain of the sin, and separate himself utterly: for no man must make himself a member of an harlot, nor woman of an whoremaster. The chief thing therefore that married people must take heed of, is this, lest by any means they should so far offend God, neglect their public covenant, wrong their yoke-fellow, scandalise the Church, pollute their bodies, and adventure their souls to damnation, as to follow strange flesh, and receive unto the use of their bodies any besides themselves, whom God hath coupled together, and sanctified one for another. Yet not alone the gross act of adultery, but all such overfamiliar and light behaviours, as may give either occasion or suspicion of an evil meaning, must be by them forborn & shunned; always bearing in mind the grave speech of wise Solomon, 
Prou. 6, 29.  [Whosoever toucheth her (speaking of his neighbours wife) shall not be innocent.] Let no man therefore, let no woman take this burning fire into their bosoms, or walk upon these scorching coals. And for the principal duty so much.  
4. The next is cohabitation or dwelling together, enjoined in express terms to the husband by the Apostle Peter (who bids him, 
1 Peter 3, 7  Dwell with his Wife) and therefore by good consequent extending to her also: for who can dwell with a woman that will run from him? And the Apostle Paul commands the husband to give unto the wife due benevolence, 
1 Cor. 7, 3.5.  and the wife to give the same to the husband; which cannot be without this cohabitation: yea, he especially forbids them to defraud each the other, unless it be by consent, and afterwards to come together again. Which doth necessarily import the abode in one home. So that the married man or woman may not abide or dwell where each of them pleaseth, but they must have the same habitation as one body. I deny not, that the service of the country, and needful private affairs, may cause a just departure for (even) a long time: but a wilful and angry separation of beds or houses must not be tolerated. And if it so fall out, that either party do frowardly and perversty withdraw him or herself from this matrimonial society (which fault is termed desertion) the man or woman thus offending, doth so far violate the covenant of marriage, that (the thing being found incurable, through the obstinacy of that party, after just care had to redress it) the other is loosed from the former band, and may lawfully (after an orderly proceeding with the Church or Magistrate in that behalf) join him or herself to another. Of which there is very great reason. First, because such a separation is a wilful frustrating of the proper purpose & end of matrimony, annihilating the same through his default and sinfulness (even presumptuous) which is found guilty, and for this cause deserveth (yea constraineth) that he should be rejected, as no longer a yoke-fellow. Secondly, because such unfaithful desertion is almost never separated from adultery, as the Apostle intimateth in the forenamed place, saying, Lest Satan tempt you for your incontinency. 
1 Cor. 7, 5.  He doth avoidable cast himself upon uncleanness that so lewdly casts off marriage, which he might avoid. And for this matter, we have received clear direction from the holy Ghost by the Apostle, who saith, 
1 Cor. 7.15.  If the unbeliever departed, let him departed: a brother or a sister is not bound in such thing. In which words, he permits not to the unbeliever such separations as lawful, but casts the fault upon him alone, and after frees the other party from the band by which he or she was formerly tied: as if he had said; If he will needs be gone, let him; and trouble not yourselves about it, the sin lies wholly upon his own soul. A Christian man or woman, when cases of this nature fall out, is no longer tied to the former covenant, nor to the former party, which hath himself first broken it. Neither is this any whit contrary to that of our Saviour, who forbids a man to put away his wife & marry another, unless it be for adultery. 
Matth. 19, 9  For we allow not to him or her, any such liberty of putting away, but upon that only cause. Yet if he or she be wrongfully put away (the yoke-fellow withdrawing him or herself out of the way, so that there be no hope to recall them, or else not returning upon good persuasion or means used) we yield with the Apostle, a freedom to the party so wronged. And these things you see may well stand together. No man may lawfully forsake his wife, nor the wife the husband (but in case of adultery) to marry another; and yet any man or woman, being wrongfully forsaken by his or her yoke-fellow, may lawfully then marry another, as being disburdened of the former yoke, without any sin, on their parts, in that thing, procuring it. Only we profess, that in cases of this nature, a just and orderly course must be taken. Every one may not headdily, and upon a sudde, carve to themselves: but seek direction, and crave help from the Church and Magistrate, whose duty binds them to provide remedy for such inconveniences. So that this thing also must be diligently avoided by married people, that they do never upon occasion of discontentment, or the like, absent themselves, or run away from each other; which to do, were to untie that knot, which God before had knit betwixt them, and to separate the things which God (and man by God's allowance) had conjoined. Yea, they must not alone beware of making an utter rent and total breach in their society, but avoid also those smaller jars and cracks, that make way thereunto. They must not through passionate fall out, and proud distasting of each others behaviour, separate house, bed or table, no not for a short space. They must not seek occasions of long and needless absence, through carelessness or slight respect each of other, or following vain pleasures and company-keeping abroad. For, is it not a madness to procure a strangeness betwixt themselves, which ought to be most familiar? And were it not better, not to departed, than to make an open jar of that which might have been privately reconciled?  
5. And for the main and principal duties required in matrimony, viz. chastity and cohabitation, so much. The less principal follow, to which, men and women are indeed bound by their promise and vow, but yet not with so much strictness, that any offence in them should make the former bargain void: wants in these matters, do stretch the corn of matrimony, and give (as I may say) a sore gird unto it, but break it not: only they break God's Commandment exceedingly, that have not in these things also great care to confirm that union, which should be made indissoluble, by their diligence. Now these also are of two sorts, whereof the first respecteth their ordinary society; the second looketh to the society of the marriagebed. Again, those which concern their ordinary society, are of two sorts: Some be mutual, pertaining to both: others special pertaining to either of them.  
6. The mutual therefore (that we may speak of them in order) be required both of man and wife, though not in an equal measure of both. For in all these common duties, the husband should be most abundant, knowing that more of every grace is looked for from him, then from the weaker vessel. We call them not therefore common or mutual, because both should have a like quantity of them; but because both must have some of all, and the husband most of all. And for these common duties, you must know in general, that whatsoever is required of all men and women, generally towards other, by the Law of Christianity and Charity, as they be men and neighbours; the same is in an higher degree and larger measure required from the husband toward the wife, and from her to him. So that look what the Law of Love or Religion bids thee perform to any person, as a man or Christian, that it binds thee much more diligently and carefully to perform to thy yoke-fellow. The nearer band of matrimony weakens not, but confirms the more common of humanity. But it shallbe needful more particularly to describe these common duties.  
7. They be of two kinds: The former respecting themselves; the latter their families. Unto themselves they own in common; first love; secondly, faithfulness and helpfulness; joined together, a faithful helpfulness, and an helpful faithfulness. As for love, it is the life, the soul of marriage, without which it is no more itself, than a carcase is a man; yea, it is uncomfortable, miserable, and a living death. For this, all must labour, as all will yield, that take marriage upon them. The want of this, causeth defectiveness in all other duties: the abundance of it, supplieth what is wanting in the rest. love seasons and sweetens all estates: Love breaks off, and composeth all controversies: Love overruleth all affections, it squareth all actions; in a word, it is the King of the heart, which, where it prevaileth, marriage is itself indeed, viz. a pleasing combination of two persons, into one home, one purse, one heart, and one flesh. But to commend it, and the good effects of it, (which all do confess) were needless pains. Let us rather show what a kind of love it must be, and how it may be gotten.  
8. This love therefore which we speak of, must be first spiritual, then matrimonial. Spiritual I say, that is, grounded principally upon the Commandment of God that requires it, (for I speak of Christians) not upon the face, favour, proportion, beauty, dowry, nobility, gifts or good parts of him or her, to whom it is due: for that natural love which builds itself upon such sandy considerations, as the forenamed, will either be blown down by some storm or tempest of displeasure, or fall of itself, or else degenerate into jealousy, the most devouring and fretting canker that can harbour in a married persons breast: but spiritual love, that looks upon God, rests upon his will, yields to his Commandment, and resolves to obey it, cannot change itself, because the cause thereof is unchangeable. Thou lovest thy Wife, for that she is fair, wellspoken, courteous, of good feature, brings much, and is huswifely. It is well. But what will become of thy love, when all those things fail, as all may, the most must fail? Thou lovest thine husband, because he is a proper man, and hath an actine and able body, is of good health, wit, carriage; because he is kind, loving, of fair condition, useth thee well. But where shall we find thy love, if an alteration come to these things, as to all earthly things it may come? Lo then how there is no constancy or firmitude in other causes. But he which loves his wife, and she which loves her husband, because God hath so bidden, the maker of all things hath enjoined it, the Lord and Master of the heart, who alone may command the very affections, appoints it so; shall find his or her love lasting and durable, as God altars not, and his Law continues always the same. This right foundation of love, is God's Commandment, and then it is spiritual when built upon this rock.  
9 It must be also matrimonial: We are to love our friends, our kindred, our neighbours, yea foreigners, and our utter enemies, even all men everywhere: but the nuptial love of yokefellows, is a special and peculiar love, far more dear and inward than all, or any of all these. It is the fixing of their hearts in the good liking each of other, as the only fit and good match that could be found under the Sun for them. The husband must rest his heart in his wife, as the best wife that the world could have yielded him. The wife must settle her very soul upon her husband, as the best husband that might have been had amongst men for her. Thus doing, they should love perfectly; thus striving to do, they love entirely. They may lawfully think others better men or women, but none a better husband or wife for them than their yoke-fellow: for this were to admit the desire of changing, which cannot stand with true love. Who would change his Child with any man? Every man's own son pleaseth him best, though perhaps his qualities displease; so should the husband, so the wife. They therefore that are still upbraiding each other with the bypassed matches, which they might, or should have had, love not sound, though they may smile upon each other. Marriage-love admits of no equal, but placeth the yoke-fellow next of all to the soul of the party loving; it will know none dearer, none so dear. And of this quality is the love we require.  
10. But how shall one that wants this love, attain it, and he which hath some portion thereof, gain a larger increase? I answer, there be two things which will even cement and glue the fowls of man and wife together; the first is, that they take special notice of God's gracious providence, for good in their match. They which look to God as the matchmaker, and that in favour take each other as love-tokens from Heaven, and therefore cannot but love that well, which comes as a sign of his favour, whom they strive to love above all. But they which see not his hand mercifully coupling them in this fellowship, must needs fall out speedily, seeing they want this third thing, as it were the ligament and juncture of their affections. A matter of small value is not smally respected, when it comes in goodwill, from a great friend, and dear withal. He that loves the giver, will love his gift also, though not so precious: So the husband or wife. though not of the best parts, shallbe dear to the yoke-fellow that loves God, if he or she resolve in their hearts, God in great goodness hath bestowed this man or woman upon me. Yea, say he or she be somewhat froward and sullied (as I may say) with ill conditions, the dearness of the giver will countervail some blemishes in the gift. Say the Lord did correct thee, in giving thee this husband, this wife: It was in savour, and for thy good. Canst thou choose but kiss and love even the rod that comes from a father's hand? But to this means add a second (which will also further unto this) and love shall grow without fail: Let married couples join together in private prayer, good conference, singing of Psalms, and other like religious exercises betwixt themselves alone. 
2. Pet. 3.7.  S. Peter would not have the prayers of the married interrupted: for he knew full well, that these were the best means of nourishment to their loves. In these things, the bright beams of God's Image will shine forth, which have power to make them amiable each to other. Hear they shall bring so much profit and good to each others soul, even to their own feelings, as will effectually provoke their affections to be mutually fervent. Hear they shall see themselves to be children of the same father, servants of one Master, strangers of one Country, & Pilgrims travailing both to one & the same home. So when the sudden land-flood of youthful & violent affections are quite dried up, these fountains of spiritual love, which prayer, and other exercises of Religion shall have digged, will still run with a more moderate and sober, but yet more lasting and constant stream. Let them season their natural society with this spiritual communion, in the secret serving of God, and they shall avoid the surfeit of satiety, which choketh love. Religion will knit the hearts of strangers fast in one, making them dear to each other ever after, that for the space but of one month or week, shall converse and join together in the same; how much more effectual will it be to fasten their souls that are tied with so many and perpetual bands beside? Therefore to you all that are, to you that shall be husbands and wives, be this delivered as a direction; which if you fail to observe, you hear without profit. Pray together one with and for another in secret; confer, read the Word of God together, and sing Psalms alone: this will so rivet your hearts, that no contention shall dissever them. For if you do fall to some actions of unkindness, when you meet together again in prayer, in stead of faulting each other, the husband will blame himself, the wife herself: she coming in God's presence, will see the greatness of her own sins, he of his, and then the offences one of another shall appear but small. Thus they shall be ashamed after to jar, considering they must shame themselves before God for jarring: so that if any grudge arise, prayer will heal and compose the same, that it do not fester, rankle, or grow to a continued hard conceit. And let every man ask counsel of his own heart, if the little praying together of husbands and wives, the seldom joining together in any good exercises, be not the true cause of their little love. Fond he or she may be, that pray not between themselves, loving they cannot be.  
11. And for the first common duty thus much. The second is faithfulness, and helpfulness conjoined. 
Prou. 31.  Solomon saith, that the husbands heart may trust in his Wife. If she be a good Wife, she must be trusty to him, how much more he to her? He saith also, that she will do him good all the days of her life. It was the end of her creation to be an helper: he must be a greater helper to her, and do more good, by how much his place is better. Now these two graces are well united, when they be careful, not to do themselves, or suffer (through their carelessness, or wittingly) to be done by any other, any manner of hurt each to other; and when they be diligent, so far as in them lies, to do, and procure by others to be done, all good one to another. Now, man and wife must be thus faithful, and helpful; first to each others foul, in wife and due care, to heal each others faults, and chief to prevent the same. If the Husband live in any gross sin, the Wife must labour by all kind, loving, and Christian means to draw him out of it: which, if her own skill fail to effect, she must procure a Physician for his soul, as she would do for his body, being sick & diseased. Only, if after all good means used, he prove a dog, a swine, that grunts & barks, & regards no admonition, she hath now discharged her duty, & for the rest, must wait and pray to God, the great Physician of the soul to redress the matter, enjoying still in the mean this comfort, that she hath used the best means with faithfulness to procure his amendment. And so must the husband also deal with the wife: yea, they must both observe the diet, temper, and constitution (as I may speak) of each others soul, till they perceive what infirmities they be specially inclined and subject unto, that so he may withdraw from her, she from him, all occasions and provocations to that evil, and shun all occasions that might cause them so to over-shoot themselves. And again, that they may apply all means to weaken and hinder the overflowing of such faults, and to stay them from extremity, if they have begun to slip therein. They must labour to be thus acquainted with the diseases and distemperatures of one another's hearts, not to upbraid, not to disgrace, not to vilify, but to help and support one another, by diligent avoiding all things, which will cause such evils to break out, and using whatsoever will heal or mitigate the same. So that they deserve to be condemned as treacherous and untrusty to one another, that for their own ease sake, will quietly permit their yokefellows to sleep in any sin almost. Let the soul of the husband be infected with swearing, with breach of the Sabbath, with unjustice, or any such like; the wife fears an angry passion, if she should admonish him, and holds her peace; and so deals he sometimes with her. Is not this to betray one another to the devil, and damnation? to suffer one another go to hell in quiet? And they be also most harmful and mischievous yokefellows, that are ready to spy into the frailties of one another, with an evil and malicious eye, to upbraid, to provoke, to vex one another. If he perceive his wife to be passionately inclined, he is in heat, and will do this and this to vex her; she also will do so and so to anger him: so that what infirmities they espy, as it were gawled places, or sores, one upon another, they love to fret, chafe & rub the same, and make them worse. Sorry help it is, that such persons afford unto the souls of their married companions. But they must be helpful also, and faithful to each others body, by a free and ready under-going any cost or pains (to their power) to procure whatsoever diet, Physic, or other-like necessaries, may make for the preserving of health, and preventing or remedying of sickness. He must not think any pains or charges too much, that is this way bestowed (with wisdom, and according to his power) upon her; nor she, which is spent upon him. They must avoid that niggardice, which possesseth many folk's hearts, that they cannot find in their hearts to allow one another, fire, candle, food convenient, or the expense of Physic, when sickness cometh. This is not to be helpful, but to do harm rather: and argues a most unloving disposition. Thirdly, they must be careful of others good name, that they preserve it by honest secrecy and concealment. They must shun, as a monstrous treachery, the publishing of one another's faults and frailties, or the discovering of one another's secrets; I mean those things, which, in hope of privacy, they have communicated one to another. The wife is worthy all hard measure, that spreads abroad every thing which she sees amiss in her husband, still complaining and crying out in every company, what an ill match she hath met withal. And that husband cannot be requited with bad usage sufficiently answerable to his deserts, that can find almost none other talk, but what a bad wife he hath light upon. These be ill birds, that defile their own nests, and frantic folk, that uncover each others nakedness, and throw dirt in each others faces. When man and wife fall to peaching, what soul loathes it not? If they that be inward in such a degree seek to deface their names mutually; what man, what woman can be free from reproach? Yea, they must not only cover each others nakednesses, but also conceal each others secrets. For, if whatsoever he tells her, she will talk of to another, by this means it comes to another, and so successively to a fourth and fift, till that thing be (to his grief) made public to the whole town, that he left in his wives bosom, as it were under the lock and key of trustiness, and he do the like to her; what peace can they have, what concord? How can they avoid, but such occasions will bring forth discontentment and dissension? There can be no quiet and comfortable living, where there is not use of concealment and secrecy. Now therefore, let these parts of faithfulness and helpfulness, to the souls, bodies, and names one of another, be commended to all married people, which desire to enjoy themselves in this estate.  
12. And now having spoken of that rank of common duties, which concern their own persons, I come to them which concern their families and households. For men and women that before were parts of some other family, do therefore marry, that they may be the chief of a new family; and begetting children, (and training them up, together with servants, according to their place) may store the world with people, and provide plants, as it were, for the Church, God's own Vineyard. Wherefore they shall not have thoroughly discharged their duty, by performing all the aforementioned things mutually to themselves, unless they regard their families also; wherein the husband, as the first mover and chief; the wife as a subordinate and good furtherer, must both join together for good. These things themselves which shall be named. I confess to belong to them, as they be governors, & stand in relation to servants and children; but the joining together in them is the matter that I would press, as a part of their marriage-duty. Now this their family they must maintain and govern, keep it, and guide it,  
13. For maintenance therefore: first, both must be laborious and industrious in their calling, and set themselves with diligence to do something, for which their family may far the better. The husband must not be a drone, and make his wife a drudge. The wife must not give herself to laziness, and cast all the pains & care upon her husband: but he in things that concern him without; & she (in things that concern her most within) must unite their pains for their profit. If either live idly as a doenothing, that party is a burden, & (as a gouty leg, or diseased member) troubles & molests an whole household, Solomon hath much commended the painfulness of a good housewife, & he hath also spoken more than once, in commendation of a good diligent hand, for the man's part. They must therefore join as partners in labouring. Secondly, they must join in honest and thrifty saving, from cost & needles expenses: They must not pinch from Mercy and justice, but save from prodigality and misspending. He must not cast away the goods in gaming and following the Alehouse & Tavern, or other places of unthrifty meetings: neither must she be lavish to her talking gossips: but both must avoid that sin, which declares a man to be worse even than an Infidel; I mean, not caring for them of his own household. They must neither nourish sweet toothes, or finish & costly backs (these be thieves:) they must neither make private purses for themselves, or let all things go at random as they come, but unite their endeavours for the common benefit, as the right hand & the left. Thirdly, they must have a common care, that no necessary thing, through their default & improvidence be wanting to their family in time of need; no hurtful thing come upon them at unawares. They must join in foresight & due consideration, what is or may be needful and useful for them, to the end it may be procured; and what dangerous, to prevent it. Two eyes see more than one: and for this intent they be linked in so near and close a fellowship, that they may be but as one in all these things, in labour, thrift and foresight: which whilst they do, the Lord will bless their endeavours, and their hands shall find abundance. Otherwise the idle person walks upon an hedge of thorns, which shall surely prick his feet. The unwise and unthrifty person thrusts his foot into the snare that will entangle him, neither shall they ever be without vexation, disquietment, discontent and brawlings, that neglect those duties. Always provided, that they be both moderate in this matter. For, if they fall to pinching, carking, coveting, and eager affecting of wealth; Heaven and earth cannot keep a family diseased with this dropsy, from many sick, troublesome and froward fits.  
14. But what shall it avail to maintain a family, without government; or how can it be governed but by them? so that they must also be good rulers at home, and join in guiding the household: the man as God's immediate officer, and the King in his family: the woman as the Deputy subordinate, and associate to him, but not altogether equal; and both in their order must govern. Now to this end, their first care must be to see, that Religion flourish in their families, and be truly planted in their servants and children; by their care to catechize them, to read the Scripture, and call upon the name of God in the midst of them. And that they being instructed, may grow further; they must also bring them to the public assemblies; examining them also of their profiting by those means. These things, the husband being present, must perform; and the wife in his absence, and both must have care to find convenient time for the same; wherein if he grow slack, she must help him, and he her. Better (in respect of themselves) keep no family, than a family of little devils; and such shall they be without Gods more than ordinary work and grace, if they perform not these things. He keeps an household of fiends, a Seminary for the devil, a nursery for hell and the kingdom of death, which is not careful by these forenamed means, to make his children and servants become servants and children to God. Which, how often it falls out, woeful experience can testify. Sometimes the husband would have God served in the family; the wife hangs off, and counts it lost time. Sometimes the wife desires to have the worship of God find place under the roof; and he like a profane beast calls it preciseness, and will not have an hour so ill spent. Sometimes both conspire in negligence & omission: but how seldom do their desires and endeavours meet in this most needful point? How seldom do they one provoke, animate and encourage one another in so profitable works? This is the fountain of all disorder in families; where God is not served, what can abound but impiety and profaneness, in Master, Mistress, servants, children, and the whole household? But now, let all that fear God take care, that they fail not in using all good means to establish Religion and the exercises of it in their houses, remembering with fear that curse, which the Prophet prays God may come upon the family, 
jer. 10.25.  wherein his Name is not called upon. Secondly, they must oversee the ways of their family. 
Prou. 31.27.  This thing Solomon commendeth in the virtuous wife, by a word worthy noting, which signifies to stand as a watchman in a watch tower, to look on every side, that no enemy do surprise the same at unawares. So she doth diligently look into the behaviour of all under the roof, that no disordered nor sinful practice may find quiet entrance and abode there: and it were a great shame for the husband, if the wife should exceed him in this watchfulness. Both of them must use their eyes with care then, to prevent all idleness and wickedness in their servants and children, and to look that they faithfully do their business committed to them, and carry themselves Christianly towards one another, and all men. If inferiors of themselves would be careful enough of their carriage, what need a governor in an house? But God knowing that the best servants, and the best children, will not want infirmities, yea, will be many ways subject to infirmities, as idleness, twattling, discord, and many of the like nature; would that the Master and Mistress should have their eyes open to prevent the same servants Children must be followed, their behaviour must be observed, they must be set to work, and the eye of the governors, with their care conjoined, must effect it, or else the family shall prove disordered, be the governors for other things never so godly. Thirdly, they must join together in admonishing, or encouraging; in reproving, or if need be, also correcting their inferiors. And in these things both must be careful to maintain each others authority to the full. If one do think it meet to encourage any in the family with some little kindness that is fit, the other must not seem to grudge at it, or be unwilling. If the one will reprove, the other must not defend. When the husband goes about to correct the children, the wife must not grow angry & save them, as if she thought it much to have them kept under nurture; neither must he do so towards her. Suppose either of them exceed, chiding or correcting without cause, or above the measure that agrees to the fault: the other must then quietly speak of it in the absence of the inferior, & not make a brawl about it before their faces, as it were bolstering them out against the authority of the yoke-fellow. For if he do, and she undo; or if she correct, & he cocker; what will be the fruit, but heartburning and distemper betwixt themselves, & contempt first of one, after both their authorities from the party to whom they have showed themselves so indiscreet? So at length, as in a Boat, wherein all the weight lies upon one side, the whole family willbe turned over into the waves of contention and strife: whereas if they did sit together in good concord, to further the fruit of one another's admonitions, reproofs, corrections, exhortations or encouragements; they should both preserve their own authority in the family, and keep peace between themselves, and find good amendment in their inferiors by these means. And for the common duties of man & wife to themselves & their families, for maintaining & governing them, thus much. We come now to speak of those that are peculiar to either of them.  
15. And first I will inform the man; then the woman after. Now for the husband's special duties, they may fitly be referred to these two heads: The keeping of his authority, and the using of it. First, he must keep his authority, and maintain himself in that place, wherein his Maker hath set him. Nature hath framed the lineaments of his body to superiority, & set the print of government in his face, which is more stern, less delicate than the woman's. He must not suffer this order of nature to be inverted. The Lord in his Word calls him the head; he must not stand lower than the shoulders; if he do, that is a deformed family. It is a sin to come lower than God hath set one. It is not humility, but baseness, to be ruled by her whom he should rule. No general would thank the Captain, for surrendering his place to some common soldier: nor will God the husband, for suffering the wife to bear the sway. The authority is Gods, invested in his person; he must not commit, that it be trodden down & despised. But, will some man say, my wife is disordered & froward, how shall I then hold mine own? It is sooner said than done, if a man meet with women of stirring spirits: direct us therefore how to do it. I answer, that most men do wrongfully cast the blame upon their wives, of abusing their authority, when it is due to themselves alone. It is not extorted from them by the wives violence, but cast away, & lost by their own folly & indiscretion. Know then that authority in this society, must not be kept by main force, and by violence, but by skill: not by big looks, & great words, & cruel behaviour, as of a great mastiff towards a silly cur; but by a milder & more artificial course. And that you may practise it, this it is. First, the husband must give a good example, walking uprightly, Christianly, soberly, religiously in his family. The wife must needs then give him the better place, if he show himself to be the better person. No inferior can choose but in his heart stoop to that superior, in whom grace & God's Image do appear. A virtuous man shallbe regarded, in the conscience even of the worst woman: yea, & in her behaviour also, if she be not monstrous. A godly wise carriage will draw good respect, & willing subjection, neither can any man bring forth one thus qualified, trodden down in contempt. In a mad fit & passionate distemper, the wife of the best may sling forth, & be undutiful, but afterwards her heart will condemn herself, & justify him, and so he loseth not authority, though it be assaulted; yea, he recovers his own with advantage. And as in general, we prescribe a godly conversation in the family, to be the preserver and upholder of the man's authority; so specially must he be counseled to shun and abandon three special and disgraceful evils, that have this effect, to make every man seem vile and base in all eyes that behold him thus defiled. The first is bitterness: So Paul willeth the husband; Be not bitter. The savour of violent and raging passions, will smell so loathsomely in the wives nostrils, coming from the husband, that she shall hardly choose, but first hate him, and despise him after. This distasteful bitterness of speech and behaviour, bewrays impotency of affection, and that great want of wisdom; and this will produce great want of reverence. If thou be an husband, and wouldst be regarded, tumble not thyself in those foul, dirty and stinking guzzels of passionate railing, striking, or the like. That which bewrays so great folly, must it not procure exceeding great contempt? Secondly, beware of unthriftiness, that is another great enemy to authority, and as a worm, rots and consumes the same. Whatsoever man gives himself to drinking, gaming, ill-company keeping, (which three vices go commonly together) shall at once lose his wit, wealth, estimation. When drink hath dispossessed reason, gaming providence, ill-company good conditions; the carriage willbe foolish, wicked, beastlike, and the person base, hated, loathed. Never did unthrift keep his place, as not his money. For who can regard him that will not be worth any thing? Thirdly, lightness must be avoided, foolish behaviour and carriage, childish and unsober tricks, that have no print or stamp of gravity upon them; these expose a man to contempt. For if the husband put on a fools Coat, and take a babble in his hand, (and what else be these odd and toyish demeanours?) can he blame his wife, though she take up laughter at him? The bitter man is as a frantic head, troublesome: the unthrifty man as a scald head, fulsome: the light man, the jester, as a giddy head, ridiculous. Such will soon displease themselves, though none go about to undermine them. But l●t every godly man abhor these base evils, and strive for holiness of conversation, that he may be indeed a governor, and his superiority remain entire unto him.  
16. Yet what avails to keep authority, if he use it not? or how can it but rust without using? Wherefore the husband must exercise his authority, and we must direct him for that purpose. Now, to the intent he may govern well, it behoves him to know both the end of his government, and the manner of it, The end of this, as all other government, in Nations, Kingdoms, Countries, Cities and Towns, is not the satisfying of his desires, or procuring of his ease, pleasure, credit, which hath the chiefdom: (for then all things run out of order, as when a bowl is not set with a right bias:) but the good and benefit of the party governed, to the glory of God the chief Lord and Governor of all. Thus one thing alone being well observed, would stop out a great stream of inconveniences, from breaking in upon the family: For therefore most men govern not well, because they do wholly serve themselves in governing, and not the wife; therefore they will do any thing to please their own humours, though it be never so dangerous to the wife (which is the greatest absurdity in government that can be committed,) because they conceive that the place was given them to fulfil their own desires, and not so much to procure their wives good; which conceit is altogether false. For as the Ministers must watch over the souls of their flock for their profit and salvation, not for their own private wealth and advantage: so must the husband deal with his wife: for this is the end why God hath ordained governors, private and public under him, that the inferiors might the better be drawn unto him by means of them, which always should be (as they be called) their betters.  
17. And yet to intend this, if he do not in some measure attain it, were to little purpose: so that as he must aim at her good, so must he effect it, by governing in a right manner, to the nourishing and increasing of whatsoever virtue, rooting out and weakening of whatsoever corruption he shall meet with in her. Now than he rules in a right manner, when in ruling, he rules himself by three principal virtues, which are of greatest use and note in all governments, and in this domestical kingdom, as I may so term it.  
18. The first of these three virtues is wisdom; which is the stern of authority, that doth guide it in an even and steady course, that it dash not against those two dangerous rocks, slavish fear on the one side, and contempt on the other. And the chief use of wisdom is to carry one's self so, that love and reverence may not enterfiere, cut, and so destroy each the other. It's hard of an inferior so familiar, to be loved and not slightly set by; harder to be reverenced, not slightly feared, not hated. Prudence therefore must so manage the matter, that they may keep these two affections in their due temper, free from excess, free from defect, so doing good according to the dignity of the place. Now this wisdom must be used in giving commandments and reprooses; with which two it is fit every wise man should content himself in this society. We dare not allow him to proceed so far as to correct by blows. Indeed what Christian woman will carry herself so, that a man of any indifferent good behaviour should need to strike? Let his wisdom rather appear in abstaining from blows, & preventing the breaking forth of such enormities as may challenge them, than in giving them moderately, and (as he thinks) in due manner. But for commandments and reproofs he may, he must give them: and herein we will direct him as we are able.  
19 First, in commanding he must regard these two rules chief. One is, that he do not command senseless and unreasonable (much less wicked & unlawful) things, that are grounded merely upon his wilfulness, and no just beside. Such commandings make her take him for an heady fool, not a wise head: and that conceit never riseth but with the utter ruin of reverence, and so of his authority. The wife indeed should cast her eye only upon the lawfulness or unlawfulness of the thing, ask none other question but whether it offend God, yea or no: but the husband must consider further, that that which he gives in charge be discreet, useful and commodious, and whereof himself can yield some sufficient cause to make it appear fit and needful to be done. He that doth not so, shuts out his commandments, as a child doth his arrow (a cockheight, as they say) not at any mark; and what is more ridiculous than such childishness in a man of years? He that bids his wife do a thing without reason, doth as if it were ride without a bridle. If such a man's horse be not exceeding gentle and well broken, he will sure either run out of the way, or stumble and cast the rider. So if such a man's wife be not more than ordinary in meekness and patience, she will either rebel against him, or contemn him. For the good that cometh from the thing commanded, yieldeth sufficiency of argument to the woman's understanding, whereby she may control her tumultuous rising of her passions (that will ask, Why should I be at all that pains for the man's will?) lending aid as it were to bring them soon into subjection. Which if it be wanting, it is hardly possible, but they will mutiney at the least, if not break out into open act of rebellion. Look therefore that thou bid thy wife do nothing, which reason (not only will) doth not first bid thee. Again, in commanding it must be regarded, that authority descend not unto low, mean, and trivial things, which are not of any moment or importance in the family. The life of the head must be derived even unto the feet; so the husband's authority doth indeed guide all, even the meanest things in the family; but the head is not always actually stooping unto the foot; for then the body would grow crooked and ill shapen: so must not the husband be charging, bidding and intermeddling by strict commandments in the small matters of the family; putting his hand (as it were) to every matter. For that garment which is much worn, must needs become threadbare: and this power of commanding is like a vesture for high days, to be put on, for some special and needful occasions. When the husband willbe housewife and all, and be dealing with brewing, baking, washing, and the particulars of these and the like businesses, it comes to pass that his wife can help in nothing, because he will do all things. When the man will bid and charge so eagerly in a thing of nothing, as if his whole estate did depend upon serving the swine, or washing the buck, etc. this disvalues his word, and makes his charge of no regard. In such things he should let his wife rule under him, & give her leave to know more than himself which hath greater matters and more nearly concerning the family to exercise his knowledge. And if he see any thing in these and the like matters done disorderly, it were his part to advise and counsel, rather than command. He that will be drawing out his commandments for every light thing, shall find it at length regarded in nothing. See then that the matter be so much worth, before thou lay a charge concerning it. And these be the two special rules of wisdom for commandments. Let them be concerning things useful and also weighty for the family.  
20. The same virtue must be practised in the matter of reproving; wherein, if in any thing, great wariness ought to be used. This is a thing needful, I mean reproof, and if it speed well, doth much good; if ill, is very dangerous: so that in administering it, discreet care must be had, that a man poison not, in stead of healing. Now for the prudent giving a reproof, three things are of needful observation: First, that a man open not his mouth to tell his wife of a fault, when he perceives himself to be hot & burning with violent passion. A man is indeed most ready to speak then; but least able to speak well. If an admonition be Vomited forth, how can it do good? how shall that prosper, which proceedeth from the mere drunkenness of wrath? No man goes to judge of a colour with a moth in his eye: & what other thing is passion to the judgement? So that he which then will become a reprover, shall disgrace himself, not the fault; and make his wife contemn him, not condemn herself. For in such case men use not to speak what they should, but what they like; nor what is most fitting the fault, but most suitable to their distempers. Thus the reprehension is not proportioned to the offence, but as liquor it savoureth of the cask, and is outrageous, as was the heart whence it came. By which means in seeking to mend a fault in another, he commits a greater himself, and makes the other worse, not better. If thou be'st an husband therefore, take this advice. When there is need of an admonition, there is also need of wisdom to give it. Do it therefore when thou art in thy right wits. Passion is a short madness: can any thing be done disc●●●●ly in that fit? When thou art quiet, when thy judgement is clear, when thy heart is settled, when thou art thyself, then show thy wife her fault; else thou shalt never bring her to the sight of it. Secondly, it is a point of wisdom for the husband to consider his wives temper also, and observe if she be fit to receive, as well as he to utter wholesome words. For when she is enraged by passion, or dejected by grief and sickness, which make a ready way for passion, it is no time to bring forth a reproof. No man will hoist up sail in a tempest; no Physician will administer Physic upon a full stomach. Those words are cast away that are uttered when passion hath both stopped up the ears, and brought the mind out of taste. She will not relish a reproof when her heart is embittered. All is then taken as proceeding from ill will and hatred, though never so meant: for she judgeth with a distempered judgement. At such times therefore power not forth all thy mind, but defer it till afterwards. When thou seest a man drunken, thou first gettest him to sleep, before thou chide him for his drunkenness. Think not that strong drink is more violent than strong passion. They both make him in whom they are with excess, uncapable of all good counsel Say not, I will not suffer her to bear away the last word? This were to scold with her, a thing absurd for a man. Better that she have the last word, then both multiply worse words, till thyself also be cast into the same frenzy. For it is extremely difficult to talk long with an angry man, & not grow hot for company: but to contend with him, & not be like him, is impossible. And what more undecent and unsightly thing then to infect thyself in stead of amending her? as if the Physician & the patient should fall together by the ears about taking the potion. Wherefore as thou lookest to have all other things fit to receive what thou puttest into them, as the vessel the liquor, the ground the seed, etc. So look that thy wives heart be fit to entertain the reproof, & that there be room for thy words; which is then when she is quiet, well pleased & pacified, not soured & leavened with rash anger, or much grief. Now the third & most necessary part of wisdom is to give a reproof in secret. Every man is most willing then to hear of his faults, when none is present to report them again but himself. We are all naturally jealous of our credit; women are so principally; & if they take a thing as done in way of disgrace, they are provoked to do worse, not induced to amend. So that it is a matter and love equally, to see that none ear be privy to the fault reproved, but her own. Men that lay plasters to sores, choose a chamber, not the market place; they love not to do such things with a witness. Christ bids reprove thy neighbour; 
Mat. 18.5.  first betwixt him and thee; then take two more with thee, and so proceed further. More love is required to a wife, and so more secrecy. But say she offend in public before the servants, children, strangers. Then show thy dislike in a patiented manner of speaking, that all may see thou winkest not at the fault, and be much in expressing grief rather than anger. Leave the lawful sharpness and wholesome lancing (as I may term it) for a reproof till you come alone. By that time she will shame to remember how she overjoyed herself, if thou give her not advantage of replying, by committing the like absurdity at the same time. Neither fear that faults so healed in secrecy should infect the children & servants. Nay thy present grief & dislike will work more upon them then any reproof; & there is time in her absence to warn them of so offending, in theirs even to chide her for giving so bad an example. They may know thou hast reproved, though they hear thee not reprove. So that we can in no sort allow the foolish rashness of those husbands (yea we most sharply condemn it) which must needs out with their reproof before children, servants, and perhaps also strangers (as if their stomach were surcharged with it) not having the wit to refrain till the oporrunity of privatnes. These men disgrace themselves in discrediting their wives, as the head gains the knock if the heels be taken up. For now the wife conceives that her disgrace is aimed at: hence she becomes more choleric, perhaps also to justify the matter, that provokes him to more anger, kindles more heat; & so in conclusion that grows to a plain brawl or fray, which should have been a kind & Christian reproof. Had not these been better well saved till another time, then so dangerously misspent at this time to both their hurts, both their disgraces? And this is the practice of wisdom.  
21. The next virtue is mildness. This society comes nearest to equality, & therefore allows familiarity (which must not be suffered in other couple of superiors & inferiors) & requires more gentleness. This is the sweet sauce of this government, which maketh it not to seem over tart, it is the soft lining of this yoke of authority, which without it, is unsupportable. No woman can endure government, if gentleness do not temper it.  
22. Now this gentleness must be used in commandments and reproofs. In commandments, both for the matter of them, and for the manner, For the matter of them it must be regarded, that a man extend not his commanding power (in the use thereof) too far; neither show himself rigorous in every thing, but be content to gratify his wife in some things, that she may less unwillingly, yea with more cheerfulness be subject in other things. Obedience would be enticed and alured, and as it were by committing it to it own disposing in matters of inferior nature, that it may follow more dutifully, when more necessity requires more speedy and voluntary obsequiousness. The Sunamite is a noble pattern for this matter. 
2 Kings 2.22  His wife in the midst of harvest (he not knowing any cause) required a man and two asses from that needful and hasty work, to attend her unto the Prophet. He is not urgent in ask the cause, nor peremptory in repelling the suit, but grants her desire, though it might seem something inconvenient. He knew her to be no gadder, and one day was not much. Thus she had liberty to departed; and he himself was a gainer by it, as being freed from a great deal of sorrow, which the news of his sons death would have procured; and obtaining unspeakable comfort in his reviving: for she saw him raised up, before he knew of his disease. It was in Abraham also more than ordinary gentleness, that in a matter so nearly concerning him, would condescend to his wives passionate request, about her maid Hagar. Let not the husband be as churlish Nabal to his wife, but follow these patterns of husbandly mildness, which will beget at once both love and reverence, testifying kindness, and procuring it. He that will be Lord in every thing, stretcheth the authority of his string so high, that it is at least in danger of breaking. So carry thyself to thy wife, that she may perceive herself to have entered, not into servile thraldom, but loving subjection.  
23. Then when need requireth a commandment to be given, it must be, for the manner, not imperious, not in the heat and extremity of enforcing and charging words; but with a sweet instinct of kindness (as the head doth move the members of the body) by loving persuasions and familiar requests. Indeed if the wife try the mastery, and cast off the yoke of obedience, such her distemper makes it not alone lawful, but very mere, that the husband (with good words and behaviour, not bitter, not raging) do stand for his authority even stiffly and peremptorily, professing that he will have his will in things lawful. But such a course would be seldom used, and that alone in matters of some importance, that are worth so much earnestness. It is more safe, and as honourable subduing a rebellious City by treaties of peace with good and favourable conditions, than by the battery of ordinance, and fierce dint of the sword. So that husband doth with most praise and happiness subdue his wives passions of disobedience, that can effect it by fair means. Yea indeed she must be a monstrous and unwomanly woman, that being drawn by entreaty will not yield. Authority is like the arts of Logic and Rhetoric, that must in speaking be used, and yet concealed: and then they most prevail when being used, they are least seen. It prevents resisting, to request when thou mayst charge. There is nothing to strive for, when a man doth not, as it were vaunt his superiority. Things are also best done when the will is alured, rather than the body compelled. If thou stand upon it, and come with flat commandments (as, you shall; and, I will make you; and, you were as good as you did; and, you shall know that I am master, etc. and the like big words,) the heart goes against that which the hand performs; and thou art disliked inwardly, though perhaps obeyed in show: and if obedience come not from the heart, can it last long? This is the way to prevail with least burden to the inferior, & toil to the superior, if with mild words he wish this and this, rather than with imperious speeches enjoin it. Men that ride horses have a wand and a spur, both; they will rather set forward their horses with the whisk & sound, or perhaps little touch of the small stick, then with the sharpness of their iron spur. They proceed not to spurring till their horse be either resty or tiry; and if tiry, that doth more hurt. So the husband should govern his wife, & provoke her to accomplish his will with quiet, pleasing and insinuating terms, rather than open and express, much less violent commandings, unless she be more then ordinarily unruly. Christ beseecheth his Church most an end, which he might with most right command. Let the husband imitate that best husband, and beware of, Do it, or you had best; and, You shall whether you will or no; I will have it so to cross you, etc. Such an husband will cross himself most. Violent things are never of long continuance. And this is mildness in commanding.  
24. It must be used in reproving, where it is rather more necessary, by how much bitterness is less to be brooked, and a reproof less easy to be borne. And this must also be showed in the matter, and in the manner of a reproof. For the matter, in not finding fault for every trifle that he sees amiss, nor chiding for every infirmity. Many things must be passed by (yea all things that be not somewhat gross, and would endanger the wives self, if she should not hear of them roundly) with none or half a word. This effect of love is very needful towards strangers, that it passeth by wants and weaknesses; much more in the household, and in the nearest couple of the household. Charity is in this sense a great cover-fault; it will see none but where they be; and many it will see and not see, and not speak of, and it descends to a reproof with a willing unwillingness. This virtue should abound in this society. Hear Christ's example must be followed of all husbands. He shuts his eyes as it were, and will not spy out all his Church's faults; he will not mark extremely what is done amiss; he knows she is but dust, and is assured that she cannot but offend in many things: Yet he puts it up, and not so much as checks her, unless she comes to some wilfulness in sinning. Let all that be husbands do likewise: consider you be matched with women, the weaker vessels: think how many faults yourselves have; and if they have some, wonder not that they be so many, but that not more; and with silence, so much as is possible; and when it is lawful to be silent (viz. in weaknesses and infirmities) strive to amend them. It is a great deal safer here to be defective than to exceed; to be somewhat purblind, than too Eagle-eyed. In this inwardness of conversation, it is impossible but divers wants shall offer themselves to be seen: and he that will pry for them, and take occasion upon every slight matter, to draw forth his reproof, shall himself live in perpetual discontentment, & yield but little quiet to his wife. For from hence she will conceive, (and that not without some cause) that he loves her not much; and this will cause their affections to warp and chap, till all be full of dissension. Be not extreme here, be not rigorous; but as a mother's tenderness of love makes her not respect or observe many deformities in her own child; so stand thou affected to thine own wife. Pray to God against all her faults, commend unto her all virtues; reprove not lesser wants & natural weaknesses: let her perceive closely that thou knowest, but art not willing to take notice of them, that she may take the more diligent notice thereof herself, and be more careful to reform them.  
25. Moreover for the manner of reproving, when the thing is most needful, it must yet be gentle. The words and behaviour used to declare and press the fault upon her, must be mild, and such as breath forth love & pity. A reproof must be applied as a plaster, not with rating, but with moaning rather. It cannot be avoided, no not in the best, but this medicine willbe needed: yet the husband must remember, not to use more roughness than is fit to his own flesh. Reproof of itself, as it were a potion goes against the stomach: we need not by our bitterness make it more loathsome, as it were by a foul & unsightly cup. The mother's care must be showed here. She gives the child wormseed to kill the worms, and raisins to till down the wormseed: so must a man reprehend to reprove the fault, and yet with great lovingness of speech and countenance, to sweeten the reprehension. No patiented was never yet so sick and desirous of health, that he could be persuaded to drink a potion scalding hot: that which burns the lips would never find admittance into the stomach, though it were the most wholesome drink. It is just so with a reproof: if it scaled the ear, as I may so speak, with upbraiding and disgraceful speeches, with bitter taunts, scoffs and mocks, with vilifying and railing words, with a fiery look, and as arkling eye, with a raging exaltation of the voice and demeanour of the body, it will never gain passage to the heart. Compassion, love, kindness, declaration of ones sorrow for the fault, desire of their good, and will of their amendment, these be the things that frame the will to accept an admonition, and do much help the kindly working of it. I am not against the wholesome earnestness of reproving, and that sharpness which in some cases God commands; this may stand without bitterness, without violence of words and gesture, without that fierceness against which we speak. A thing need not to be keycold, though it scaled not; there is a large difference between these two. Then an admonition is healthfully sharp and earnest, when a man in plainness & with good terms lays open the absurdity, naughtiness and danger of the sin, enforcing these considerations upon the heart and conscience of the party, even somewhat lamentably, and with some moving, but still with declaration of sorrow more than anger: and this aught to be done. In one word therefore let thy reproofs be warm, not hot. And thus much for the practice of mildness.  
26. The third virtue to be showed by the husband, is justice, the soul of government, the true temperature of authority, without which it rots and putrefieth, and degenerates into the most fulsome and stinking carrion of tyranny. Now the husband must deal justly with his wife in four things: First, in allowing her sufficient maintenance, agreeable to his place and ability, and that willingly, and with a liberal hand. He must not think himself so absolutely Lord of all, but that she must also have the free and plentiful use of all, according as his calling requires, and his sufficiency will bear. Indeed if she should exceed both, or either of these, his authority must sound retreat unto her lavishness; neither must he weaken, much less overthrow his estate by pranking her body, and feeding her tooth: this were after a sort to kill himself, her, his children, and whole family, with fondness towards her, a part full of unrighteousness. But let her be made equal partner of that which her husband hath. So be it she cut her coat according to her cloth, justice will not permit that she should be scanted with niggardice, which is so near a companion. The husband must communicate maintenance to the wife, as the head doth animal spirits to the body, plentifully, willingly: for if any stoppance grow in this conveyance, great distempers must of necessity ensue: yea, not alone whilst himself liveth, but even after his decease also: and supposing him to leave the world, must he provide, after his ability, that her estate be competent, and that she be not inferior to her children, and forced to stand beholding unto them, over whom she should command. And this is one point of justice. Another, and the second is, that the husband compel not his wife by his authority to attempt things unlawful. Where God hath commanded, let not him forbid; where God hath forbidden, let not him command. What a madness is it to force either to disobey God, or him? Will he exceed his commission, and think to be yielded unto? Is not this unrighteous in the highest degree, for the Deputy to take upon him even against the Sovereign Lord? This is to justle her into some stinking guzzle or ditch: whence it must follow, that if she prove stronger than himself, and will not be thrust in, yet he renders himself odious that attempted to do her harm: if she prove weak, and fall in, he must be at the pains to pull her (out) and make her clean again: otherwise both must perish; the one for sinning, the other for driving unto sin. Wherefore in some doing he violates both justice & Wifedome, showing himself in one action, both a fool before her, and a rebel against God. Nay, he must not alone abstain from urging her unto things that indeed are, but unto such also, as she upon some supposed reason, grounded on the Word of God, thinks to be unlawful. The conscience is Gods immediate officer, and commanding by virtue of its commission, which is Gods revealed will; though it err in construction of that commission, yet must it be obeyed, and over-weigh the authority of all other commanders, till it be satisfied and set down with reasons, manifesting such mistaking: for whosoever goes against conscience in things thought to be sinful, and are not, will at length offend against it in such things as both are, and are thought to be faults. Indeed if she will pretend conscience, and cannot allege a reason out of the Word of God, yet may carry some show, this is obsunacy; and in such case the thing being of weight and use, it is safe, yea needful, if reason persuade not, to compel her. But when she grounds upon the Word of God, though misinterpreted and mistaken, she must be resolved, and not compelled. Not every scruple of conscience makes a thing sin to a man, but that which is grounded upon God's Word, by which alone-conscience must be informed and guided: which when it is, though it be misinformed through want of judgement, yet it retains its own authority; and then to enforce the wife against it, were to force her to sin, the most unrighteous thing that can be in a Governor. None is Lord, but only the Lord of Heaven and earth. Be not therefore so unrighteous towards thy wife, as to urge her either to displease GOD, or her conscience, leaning on his word. The third part of justice, is, not to reprove without a fault, nor sharply for a lesser fault: The former of these is to lay a plaster on a found place, which is a needless labour at all times, and often dangerous: for it may cause a sore. So to find fault without a cause, may procure a fault. The latter is to sear, and cut and cauterize, where a Lenitive would serve; and to give a violent strong purgation, where an easy pill would suffice for health. This comes from cruelty, and breeds distemper. A reproof must come forth, not when a man is angered, but when God is offended: not when our profit or pleasure is crossed, but when God's commandment is broken. And as the plaster must be fitted to the wound, the medicine to the disease; so the admonition to the fault. For of those sins which necessarily call for an admonition, there are degrees, according to the increase whereof, a man should show more or less anger and dislike. So that the husband must be more earnest in reproving, not when she hath committed a smaller sin against GOD, that turneth more to his loss; but when she hath done a greater evil against GOD, though he be a small, yea, no loser; yea a gainer by it for his outward profit. And always when the fault is amended, cease upbraiding: this is a most unequal thing. When the fire is thoroughly quenched, who would stand casting on water? Now the last point of justice follows, which is, that a man endeavour to confirm and increase the good things that are in his wife, by all good encouragement and testification of his love and good liking, aswell as to reform and diminish the evil things by reproof. We provender an horse as well as whip and spur him, else the best would tire: and the wife must be animated to good things, and not only withdrawn from evil. A man should use his right eye as well as his left. Nothing can be more base then to be a faultspier, a fly-blower, that is, always nibbling where the skin is off. Fie upon that husband, which like a fly seeks ever for a galled place to blow his maggots on; this healeth not, but pricks, and makes all things worse. It is a great unrighteousness to look only to the worst things. justice gives one his due for well and ill both; which not to do is the bane of love, on both sides causing jars, heart-burnings, secret dislike, and open contention at the last. Therefore if ever thou will live with comfort, consider as well what virtues thy wife hath, as what vices; what good, as what bad; & what help and benefit thou hast by her, as what hindrance; to comfort & strengthen her in the one, as help her out of the other: yea & let her see that thou takest notice rather of the best things. Surely these good herbs will grow best & safest in the sunshine. And thus much for the man's duty: wherein I have been more long, because disorders in him are more dangerous and hurtful, as diseases in the head; and any thing amiss in the great wheel of a clock.  
27. Now proceed we to the women's duty, and giving the men leave to chew the cud awhile, request the women to listen with more diligence than before. The whole duty of the wife is referred to two heads. The first is, to acknowledge her inferiority: the next, to carry herself as inferior. First then the wives judgement must be convinced, that she is not her husband's equal, yea that her husband is her better by far; else there can be no contentment, either in her heart, or in her house. If she stand upon terms of equality, much more of being better than he is, the very root of good carriage is withered, and the fountain thereof dried up. Out of place, out of peace. And woe to these miserable aspiring shoulders, that content not themselves to take their room, next below the head. If ever thou purpose to be a good wife, and to live comfortably, set down this with thyself. Mine husband is my superior, my better; he hath authority and rule over me: Nature hath given it him, having framed our bodies to tenderness, mens to more hardness. God hath given it him, saying to our first mother Eva, 
Gen. 3.16.  Thy desire shallbe subject to him, and he shall rule over thee. His will is the tie and tedder even of my desires and wishes. I will not strive against GOD and nature. Though my sin hath made my place tedious, yet I will confess the truth, Mine husband is my superior, my better. If the wife do not learn this lesson perfectly, if she have it not without book, even at her finger's ends, as we speak, if her very heart condescend not to it, there will be wrangling, repining, striving, viing to be equal with him, or above him; and thus their life willbe but a battle, and a trying of masteries. A woeful living.  
28. Secondly, the wife being resolved that her place is the lower, must carry herself as an inferior. It little boots to confess his authority in word, if she frame not to submission indeed. Now she shall testify her inferiority in a Christian manner, by practising those two virtues of reverence and obedience, which are appropriate to the place of inferiors.  
29. And first for reverence, the wife owes as much of that to her husband, as the children or the servants do to her, yea, as they do to him: only it is allowed that it be sweetened with more love and more familiarity. The wife should not think so erroneously of her place, as if she were not bound equally with the children and servants to reverence her husband; all inferiors own reverence alike. The difference is only this, she may be more familiar, not more rude than they, as being more dear, not less subject to him.  
30. Also this reverence of hers must be both inward and outward. First, her heart must be kept inwardly, in a dutiful respect of him, and she must regard him as God's Deputy, not looking to his person but his place; nor thinking so much who and what an one he is, as whose officer. This the Apostle doth very strictly enjoin, saying, Let the wife see that she fear her husband. 
Ephes 5. last verse.  As if he had said: Of all things let her most carefully labour not to fail in this duty: for if she do, her whole life besides will be rude and unbeseeming. And you must know that the Apostle means here not a slavish, but a loving fear, such as may well stand with the nearest union of hearts, as between Christ and his Church. And this fear is when, in consideration of his place, she doth abhor it as the greatest evil, next to the breach of God's Commandment, to displease and offend her husband. Men stand in right awe of God, when they loathe it as the greatest of all evils, to break his Commandment and grieve his Spirit; and the wife fears her husband in good manner, when she doth shun it as the next evil, to displease, grieve and disobey her husband, who is next to GOD above her in the family. Such regard her heart must have of her head, that it keep hand and tongue and all from disorder. I know this is not customable, nay it is scarce thought seemly amongst many women; nay they are as little for their husbands, as they for them; yea they despise him, yea they have inverted this precept, and cause their husbands to fear them. This impudency, this unwomanhood tracks the way to the harlot's house, and gives all wise men to know, that such have, or would, or soon will cast off the care of honesty, as of loyalty. But if thou wilt be a virtuous wife, deal with thine heart to make it stand in awe of thine husband: and know that God hath not for nought given the former Caveat to women. As thou growest in this inward reverence, so look to get the better of all other infirmities: as thou art careless herein, so shalt thou be pestered with all other enormities. Where the heart sets light by any one, the words and gestures willbe contemptuous. If the fountain be muddy with neglect, so shall the streams.  
31. And as the heart principally, so next the outward behaviour must be regarded in three special things. First, in speeches and gestures unto him. These must carry the stamp of fear upon them, and not be cutted, sharp, sullen, passionate, teechie, but meek, quiet, submissive, which may show that she considers who herself is, and to whom she speaks. The wives tongue towards her husband must be neither keen, nor lose, her countenance neither swelling nor deriding: her behaurour not flinging, not puffing, not discontented; but savouring of all lowliness and quietness of affection. Look what kind of words or behaviour thou wouldst dislike from thy servant or child, those must thou not give to thine husband: for thou art equally commanded to be subject. Herein Sarah once faulted, she was aloft in the boughs; God be judge between me and thee. Herein also Rachel offended, that in a pelting chase came suming, and chod with her husband; Give me children, or I die. jacob could not brook this without anger, though he loved her tenderly. Herein Micol also was out of the way, when she came scoffing and flouting to her husband David: 
2. Sam. 6.20.  How glorious was the King of Israel to day, etc. when her husband in her conceit (though not indeed) carried himself somewhat unfit for a King's place; she cannot admonish him in good sort, but with bitter taunting breaks a jest upon him. These examples show how subject women are to disreverent behaviour; and withal how loathsome, how unwomanly they be. Yet for all these warnings we have some women that can chase and scold with their husbands, and rail upon them, and revile them, and shake them together with such terms and carriage, as were unsufferable towards a servant. stains of womankind, blemishes of their sex, monsters in natures, botches of human society, rude, graceless, impudent, next to harlots, if not the same with them. Let such words leave a blister behind them, and let the canker eat out these tongues. But besides these so notorious ones, even women otherwise virtuous, must see their faults in this behalf. They can take up their husbands with quick speeches sharply set on. They can set them down short, with a cutted answer, with a frowning countenance, with a disdainful look, and the side turned towards them in displeasure. Why wilt thou teach thy children to be rebellious, and show thy servants how to swell, pout, and fume? Thinkest thou such behaviour will not infect? Shall not they also use it to thee? or is it less tolerable in thee? Be submissive rather, and let them learn reverence from thee to practise to thee. That woman makes herself vile, that sets her husband at nought, or else seems to do it.  
32. Secondly, the wife must express reverence towards her husband in her speeches and gestures before him and in his presence to others. His company must make her more respective how she carries herself towards any else. Her words must not be loud and snappish to the children, to the servants in his sight. If she perceive a fault, yet must consider, that her better stands by, and not speak without necessity; and then utter that in more still and mild manner, which in his absence she may set on with more roundness. No woman of government will allow her children and servants to be loud and brawling before her; and shall she before her husband be so herself? What is become of inferiority then? Yea her reverence doth enjoin her silence when she stands by. I mean not utter abstinence from speech, but using few words, and those low and mild, not eager, 
2 Tim 2.11.  not loud. Paul commands the women to learn in silence. The word is, in quietness: wherein be not alone enjoins a public, but even a general silence to hold in the house and other like meetings: for why should that be restrained without any need, which doth well receive a larger extent? The reason of which duty is grounded even upon the consideration of the two sexes: for even as youth is inferior to age, and the young folk to the aged (unless some other respect do overbalance this difference, as sometimes it falls out that the younger is in authority, and the elder under it; the younger hath more excellent gifts; the elder fewer, and such like; by which the inferiority of young men is shadowed, and as it were covered:) so is the male sex preferred before the female in degree of place & dignity, as all men will yield that read what the Scriptures speak in that behalf. Now if there be an inferiority of the sex, by what thing should it be better expressed, rather than this, by which also younger people must testify theirs, namely, to speak little and low before them? For what less thing can be required in witness of this difference? Let women then either excuse chat and loudness in young folks before their ancients, in children and servants before them; or else condemn it in themselves before their husbands, yea before any men. I know this duty goes against the hair: for where there is suddenness of wit, and scarcity of wisdom (as in the most of this sex comparatively) there is readiness to speak, and multitude of words; but amongst all wisemen, talakativenes of women (chief when it comes to loud and earnest words) hath been reputed a fault most of all in the husband's presence. Now then let women learn silence, and let the reverent account of their husband's work in them a special moderation of speech whilst they be in place.  
33. Thirdly, the woman's speeches of the husband behind his back, must be dutiful and respective. She must not call him by light names, nor talk of him with any kind of carelessness and slightness of speech, much less with despiteful and reproachful terms. Herein the godly fact of Sarah, commended to our imitation, must be followed in practice. When she thought of her husband in the absence of all company, she entitled him by the name of my Lord. If in her private conceit she gave him so good and honourable titles, what would she have done in company? what in his own presence? what unto himself? So the women must enure themselves to submissiveness of thoughts and speeches in their husband's absence, that they may the better practise the same in their presence: for custom in this thing hath great force. Who would brook a child speaking disgracefully and murmuring. of his father behind his back? And shall it be suffered in a wife? By how much here is more certain trial of her her inward affection & disposition, by so much must she be more attentive to her words in such case. Very dread may make a woman give good words before her husband's face, because she dares do no other, and he will brook none other; but this shows a conscionable subjection, when she will not think nor speak of him, though he be far from hearing, without some note of good regard, that those which hear may perceive she doth account of him as her Governor and her better. He that allows not an evil thought of the Prince, will not allow evil speeches of the husband in private talk between neighbours: for he is the household Prince, the domestical King; Though think husband be from thee, let thy fear of him be with thee, that in mentioning him to others thou show not contempt. And for Reverence thus much.  
34. Obedience follows: as concerning which duty a plain text avers it to the full, saying; Let the Wife be subject to her husband in all things, in the Lord. What need we further proof? Why is she his wife, if she will not obey? and how can she require obedience of the children and servants, if she will not yield to the husband? doth not she exact it in his name, and as his deputy? But the thing will not be so much questioned, as the measure: Not whether she must obey, but how far. Wherefore we must extend it as far as the Apostle, to a generality of things, to all things, so it be in the Lord. In whatsoever thing obeying of him doth not disobey God, she must obey: and if not in all things, it were as good in nothing. It is a thankless service, if not general. To yield alone in things that please herself, is not to obey him, but her own affections. The trial of obedience is, when it crosseth her desires. To do that which he bids, when she would have done without his bidding, what praise is it? But this declares conscionable submission, when she chooseth to do what herself would not, because her husband's wills it. And seeing she requireth the like largeness of duty in his name from the servants, herself shall be judge against herself, if she give not what she looks to receive. But if sufficeth not that her obedience reach to all things that are lawful, unless it be also wiling, ready, without brawling, contending, thwarting, sourness. A good work may be marred in the manner of doing. And as good stuff is spilled by bad making, so doth the wife disgrace and disfigure her obedience if she hang off and contend, and be impatient, and will not, till she cannot choose. Needs must, needs shall, we say in the Proverb. Such kind of yielding declares no reverence, deserves no praise. Then it is laudable, commendable, a note of a virtuous woman, a dutiful wise, when she submits herself with quietness, cheerfully, even as a welbroken horse turns at the least turning, stands at the least check of the rider's bridle, readily going and standing as he wishes that fits upon his back. If you will have your obedience worth any thing, make no tumult about it outwardly, allow none within.  
35. And for the less principal duties of husband and wife concerning their ordinary society, thus much. I come now to such as concern the marriagebed, which are as needful to be known as the former, because offences in that kind are more capital and dangerous, though not so public. Their matrimonial meetings must have these three properties. First, it must be cheerful: they must lovingly, willingly and familiarly communicate themselves unto themselves, which is the best means to continue and nourish their mutual natural love, and by which the true and proper ends of matrimony shall be attained in best manner: for the husband is not his own, but the wives, and the wife the husbands. Secondly, their meeting must be sanctified. Paul saith, meat, drink and marriage are good, being sanctified by prayer. Men and women must not come together as brute creatures and unreasonable beasts, through the heat of desire; but must see their Maker in that his ordinance, and crave his blessing solemnly as at meals, (the Apostle speaks of both alike) that marriage may indeed be blessed unto them. To sanctify the marriagebed, and use it reverently with prayer and thanksgiving, will make it moderate, and keep them from growing weary each of other (as in many it falls out,) and cause that lust shall be assuaged, which else shall be increased by these meetings. Propagation and chastity, the two chief ends of marriage, are best attained by prayer and thanksgiving in the use thereof, without which they will hardly come, or not with comfort. Neither is it more than needs, to see God in that which so nearly toucheth ourselves, as the hope of posterity: him, as the increase of his kingdom. Let Christians therefore know the fruit of prayer even in all things. Thirdly, their nuptial meetings must be seasonable, and at lawful times. There is a season when God and Nature sejoines man and wife in this respect. The woman is made to be fruitful; and therefore also more moist and cold of constitution. Hence it is that their natural heat serves not to turn all their sustenance into their own nourishment; but a quantity redounding is set apart in a convenient place to cherish and nourish the conception, when they shall conceive. Now this redundant humour (called their flowers or terms) hath (if no conception be) it monthly issue or evacuation, (and in some oftener) unless there be extraordinary stops and obstructions, lasting for six or seven days in the most: Sometimes also this issue, through weakness and infirmity of nature, doth continue many more days. Always after childbirth there is a larger and longer emptying, because of the former retention, which continueth commonly for four, five or six weeks, & in some longer. Now in all these three times and occasions, it is simply unlawful for a man to company with his own wife. The Lord tells us so, Levit. 15. c. 19.25. ver. also chap. 18 ver. 19 also chap. 20. ver. 18. Of which places it is needful, that married people should take notice: to which I send them. Neither let women think themselves disgraced, because I have laid this matter open in plain, but modest speeches. Where God threatens death to the offender, can the Minister be faithful, if he do not plainly declare the offence? This fault is by GOD condemned to the punishment of death, Leuit. 20.18. Bear then with necessary plainness. And let no woman grieve that the cause of her fruitfulness is known, when she rejoiceth to be found fruitful. Say not, that I may let them read it. What if they cannot? what if they will not? Can the Minister so discharge his office, of giving men warning that they sin not, because they may read it? But if any through niceness or otherwise, do take snuff at this openness (for immodest and obscene speech they have heard none,) they shall argue themselves guilty of the sin, which they would not have known; and show rather a willingness to commit evil, then prove it evil to teach that plainly which God hath plainly revealed to be known. In a word, we must speak all the truth, you should with willingness hear all; if not, you must against your will. Though men will be offended, we must not conceal what God will have known. And thus you have heard the duties of married people, principal, and less principal, for their common society both mutual and special; and for their nuptial society in the marriagebed. Now though I have been long, I will tarry to make some use and application.  
36. And first, this ministers a good instruction to young and unmarried people, that they do not unadvisedly rush into this estate. A thing of such difficulty should not be lightly undertaken. They shall have their hands full of duty, if they get not their hearts full of grace, and their heads full of wisdom; they shall find an house full of trouble, and a life full of woe, meeting with gall in stead of honey, and gravel in stead of nourishing morsels. Wouldst thou be married? See what wisdom, what patience, what grace fit to govern or fit to obey thou findest in thyself. Get these against thou come to use them, or else marriage will not yield thee such contentment, as thine imagination promiseth. Vain youths grow wanton and fall in lust, and must marry before they have any power to practise, any understanding to know their duties; so they trouble themselves, and discredit their estate both at once. He that leaps over a broad ditch with a short staff, shall fall into the midst; and he that enters upon matrimony without care to attain great grace, shallbe mired and doused in disquietment and vexation. Let unmarried people think of this, and be wise.  
37. Secondly, I must advise all married persons, to grow acquainted with these duties, and to mark their fall in the same But mistake me not. I would that the wife should know hers, the husband his, and both the common duties. I desire that they should observe each their own, not so much each others failings. Indeed it may be feared, that divers hearers now will be worse for hearing, because they heard amiss. The husband may perhaps ring his wife a peal of her duty when he comes home, and tell her how her faults were ripped up; and yet never consider or meditate of his own duties or faults. The wife also may likely tell him of his own at home, when she hath little or nothing to say to herself. Thus both shall be worse, when they seek to upbraid each other, not to amend each one's self. Thou husband didst listen attentively when the woman's duties were handled, and thoughtst, There he met with my wife; such a time she showed little reverence, less obedience. Thou wife hadst the like thoughts concerning thine husband: There he told him home of his duty. It is not long since he showed himself neither wise nor gentle. I would he would see to amend. Unwise man, unwise woman: why hadst thou not most care of thine own soul? Couldst thou mark what was good for another's disease, not what for thine own? Wilt thou grow skilful in his way, and not know one foot of that wherein thyself must travel? Brethren, sisters, let this be altered in us. If thou be a Christian husband, have more care to know that, and be more frequent in considering that, for which thine own soul must answer, than what lie, to the accounts of another. So do thou that art a Christian wife. And that man or woman that sees not more faults and failings in him or herself then the yoke-fellow, bewrays wondrous great pride, ignorance and hypocrisy, if he or she be not matched with one too too notorious for ill demeanours. If the heart were well touched, it own sins would be more grievous the husbands or wives less. Contend therefore, not how short thy yoke-fellow comes, but not to come short thyself. Pass by the others failings more easily, be more censorious towards thine own: this were to deal as a Christian, even to judge thyself. He never yet learned to work well in any work, that would cast his eye more upon his neighbours fingers than his own. Neither was he ever good scholar that would con his fellows, and not regard the task imposed upon himself. And that makes husbands and wives such ill paymasters one another, because they look often what is owing to them, not what they owe. I doubt not but experience will back my speech, if I pronounce that they be not the best husbands & wives, which are heard to complain much of their yokefellows defects in duty, little of their own. And yet is not this ordinary? Every man would be a good husband, if his wife were not so bad: & she a good wife, were not he so excessively faulty. All the accusations, all the judgings are datted at each other. What folly is this? Understand idle man and woman, it is not the requiring or receiving of duty from others, but the knowing & performing of what pertains to thyself, that will prove thee a Christian, comfort thee in temptation, rejoice thee in death, and stand for thee in judgement. And yet art thou soloud and much in calling for duty, so mute and dumb and ignorant in yielding it? To conclude therefore, know thine own duty best, mark most thine own transgressings of duty; then shalt thou be free from brawls with thy yoke-fellow, if thou be taken up with pains about thyself: and there is no better means of peace in families, than that every one should learn and ply his own work, see and labour to mend his own faults. Have you then been both or either unchaste, unloving, unfaithful? repent both; and strain not courtesy who shall begin: but let either set other a copy of goodness. And if you will needs strive, let it be, which shall be the best, which mend first. Hast thou been a foolish, passionate, unjust husband, full of bitter words, perhaps also (which is monstrous) of blows in anger, seeking and serving thyself alone, and not regarding thy wives good, so thou mightest go away with thine own will? Dive not into her faults, cry not out, she hath been thus and thus to me: but repent of thy bitterness, unthriftiness, folly of all sorts: confess it to God; beseech him to make thee a better husband, that thy wife may be better. Hast thou been a disdainful, contemptuous, brawling, impatient, discontented, and disobedient wife? ask thine hear before God, and dissemble nor. If yea, clamour not against thine husband's folly, exclaim not of his rashness and hardness; but condemn thyself before, and call upon God, to make thee fear and obey thine husband, as a Commander under him. Entreat him of mercy to make thee better, that thy husband also may be better. Fellow the Proverb, and let every of you mend one, I mean himself, and contention will cease. Pray for each ones self first, then for each other. Where you have offended, labour to see it, confess, bewail it, and call for power to reform, and be not skilful to cast the fault upon another, but to cast it out of thyself. So shall your loves be sure, your hearts comfortable, your example commendable, your houses peaceable, yourselves joyful, your lives cheerful, your deaths blessed, and your memories happy for ever.  
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉  
FINIS.   

¶ The duties of the married people are either  

1. Principal: the breach of which annihilates the former covenant by them made: which are 

1. The chaste keeping of their bodies for each other: to which is opposed adultery: sect. 3.  
2. Cohabitation or dwelling together: to which is opposed desertion: sect. 4.    
2. Less Principal: the breach whereof notwithstanding, the comnant is firm: and these are of two sorts:   

1. Such as concern their ordinary society of life: which are either 

1. Mutual: such as both must mutually perform: which do respect either 

1. Their persons, and these are 

1. Love, sect. 7.  
2. Faithfulness & helpfulness conjoined, sect. 11.    
2. Their families, as concerning their 

1. Maintenance: sect. 13.  
2. Governing: sect. 14.      
2. Special, pertaining to either separately, 

1. The husband: whose duties are 

1. To keep his authority: sect. 15.  
2. To use his authority: of which I show 

1. The end: sect. 16.  
2. The manner, with three virtues, 

1. Wisdom: sect. 18.  
2. Meekness: sect. 21.  
3. justice: sect. 26.        
2. The wife: whose duty is 

1. To confess her inferiority: sect. 27.  
2. To carry herself as inferior 

1. In reverence: sect. 29.  
2. Obedience: sect. 34.        
2. Such as concern their society in the marriagebed, that it be 

1. Loving. sect. 35.  
2. Sanctified. sect. 35.  
3. Seasonable. sect. 35.