AN OLD MAN'S LESSON, AND A YOUNG MAN'S LOVE. By Nicholas Breton. LONDON Imprinted for Edward White, and are to be sold at his Shop near the little North-door of S. Paul's Church at the Sign of the Gun. 1605. To the Right Worshipful and worthy Favourer of Learning and nourisher of virtue: Sir john Linwraye Knight, Master Surveyor of all his majesties Ordinance within his highness Realms of England & Ireland: Nich. Breton wisheth increase of all happiness on earth, and the joys of heaven hereafter. I Have often noted, that the wisdom of experience, hath been the School of a good wit, where youth giving ear to age, may the better determine of his courses: And again, that nature weighing love with reason, worketh the best effects of understanding. The truth of this you may find made good in this little Dialogue, where the Father kindly deals with the sons duty, and the sons love, with the Father's discretion: many pretty tracts have passed among them, where each was so pleased in the summary of their discourse, that, if all Fathers would be as kind, and all Children as wise, there would be a blessed common wealth: but the world is to be weighed as it is, and their rules to be made examples of much good: the discourse is dialogical, and the variety not unpleasant: where nature with wit, wit with learning, and learning with judgement, may prove some pains in the writing, and worthy patience in the reading. Such as it is (with my better service) I commend to your good favour, hoping that as in this little you may see my love, so in a greater service, you will command the bonds of my affection: in which, with heart's thankfulness▪ for your ever undeserved kindness: I take my leave. Yours Devoted and obliged: Nich. Breton. To the Reader. MY good Friend, if you be so, if not, I would you were so, at least, if you be worth the being so: I have met of late with a discourse written by I know not whom, and how well, judge you that read it: it is written in the manner of a Dialogue, betwixt an old Man, and his Son: the Father was a Widower, and the Son a travailer: who after a long absence, came home to his Father, at whose coming, (after kind greetings) there passed many pretty passages: in which was handled An old Man's Lesson, and a young Man's Love: I will not commend the handling of it, but rather leave it to correction of the wise, than the allowance of the contrary: and so wishing it may displease none, that are worthy to be pleased, and not to be worse thought on then it deserves: I leave it to your patience, and myself to your kind regard, and so rest. Your Loving Friend. Nich. Breton. An old Man's Lesson: and a young Man's love. Chremes and Pamphilus. Chre. Son, welcome home, God bless thee, and make thee his Servant. Pam. I thank you Father, and say Amen to your prayer. Chre. Well said Boy, but let me talk a word or two with thee: Thou hast been abroad in the world, and hast seen more than thou hast eaten, and hast left many a good Town behind thee for fault of carriage: tell me I pray thee, whence camest thou now? Pam. Directly from the University, where I have made no long stay: for had it not lain in my way, I had not come at it at all, such was my haste home, as well first to show my duty to you, as to acquaint you with the occasion of some matters, which at leisure I will impart unto you. Cre. I understand you well: me you come to see, but my money is the matter you would talk of, for certain occasions you thereunto moving: but by the way, let me ask you what news are abroad? Pam. News enough, but few worth the hearing: and in the place from which I came (I mean the Academe) there are but two points the Scholars stand upon: and one point the Townsmen. Chre. And what are the scholars points? Pam. Truly neither leather, thread, nor silke-points, nor points of pings, nor needles, nor points with the finger but the full point: of either truth or falsehood: for in argument, wit, and learning, to try their best virtue, is in finding out a falsehood or maintaining a truth. Chre. Why then wit and learning can make a fair show of truth where there is none: Pam. Yea, but better wit, & better learning can lay it open, that it may be known as it is. Chre. And when it is known, what then? Pam. Then to be regarded as it deserves. Chre. As how, I pray thee? Pam. If one hold an opinion that a man is wise because he is rich, and an other hold the contrary, and both having showed their reasons, he that finds out the truth of wisdom what it is, and in what it lies, makes it known so apparently to all good understanding, that wisdom is to be honoured as a virtue and grace of the divine Essence, and wealth to be esteemed as a Servant of necessity. Chre. And this is your School talk: Pam. Yea Sir. Chre. Good talk for Scholars: but do their Masters hold it so, that money is but a servant of need? Pam. Yes, and learned it themselves before they teach it us. Chre. But how understand you a servant of necessity? Pam. For provision of apparel which is necessary, meat and drink, and lodging, which are necessary: horse and furniture, which are necessary: maintenance of wife, children, and servants, all which are necessary: to keep good courses, with good company, which is necessary: to procure advancement, which is necessary: to keep off want, which is necessary to help the needy, feed the hungry, and relieve the oppressed, which is necessary: In all which necessary causes, the spirit being moved by grace and reason, to effect that which cannot be done without money, he is to be employed as a necessary servant, and a servant at all necessities▪ but wisdom which is a director of the spirit in all good, and necessary courses, & the employer of wealth in all necessary causes, is to be honoured above all things, whatsoever man can be master of. Chre. Well said; but superfluity then, money hath nothing to do withal, as thus: better want money then waste it upon drunkenness, wantonness, or wickedness▪ for when one hath a coat that will keep him warm, which was the cause garments were first made, and money is employed for them to lay on needless lace of thread, Silk or Silver, or Gold, which makes the garment more weighty than warm, money is to be pardoned for any such unnecessary expense. Pam. Pardon me Sir, it makes the garment more comely, and comeliness is necessary so far that it exceed not reason in measure: furthermore it is an utterance of Silk, an upholder of traffic, and maintainer of Arte. Chre. So Sir, well said Master Scholar, how finely you can make superfluity in pride, be a relief of necessity, and necessary to maintain traffic▪ but, content yourself, cloth the back warm, satisfy hunger and thirst, and so far my money hath been my Servant, and so far he shall be yours. Why so you may say of a house, when the first cause was to keep Man dry: to make more rooms than there is use for, more Chimneys, then is fire for; more Windows than there is wit for, and more Painting and Guilding then there is good reason for: why should not money lie still rather than be employed in such unnecessary humours? Pam. Oh Sir, are not many poor men employed in their labours, many men of trade exercised in their Art? and is not the beauty thereof comely to the eyes of the beholder? which may as well praise God in the workmanship, as have pride in the profession of it? oh, it is the ill mind of one that misconstrueth the good meaning of an other: and therefore money being made for necessary uses, and many necessary uses in the building of fair houses, money is to be employed and the builder for his wisdom to be honoured. Chre. I thank you Sir: but for myself, he hath served me to build rooms necessary for my use and no further, and for a house fit for your calling my money shall serve you and no further: why, you perhaps will defend feasts, and banqueting, when money is only to be employed for necessity to satisfy hunger and thirst. Pam. Without offence, I think I may say, that Feasts are as necessary as Fasts: for, as the one doth pull down the flesh from rebelling against the Spirit, so doth the other give the Spirit more life in rejoicing upon a just cause of joy: as in many excellent Histories, as well Divine as humane, we may read: but to allow thereby of Drunkenness or glotonny, I have no such meaning: As at marriages, holy days, and honest merry meetings, a little too much, is better then much too little: furthermore the varieties of meats and drinks, as Ale, Beer, Wine, Sugar and Spices, are the better known, wherein God is glorified, and praised for his blessings, and the Vintner, the Grocer, the Comfit-maker, the Cook, the Brewer and the Butcher, do by the venting of their wares, the better maintain their trades▪ so that I think I may well say, that money in the provision of Feasts and banquets, is to be employed as a servant of necessity. Chre. So Sir, you say well: but money hath served me for the good loaf and the Cheese, Beef, and Mutton, and now and then a Goose and a Chick, or a Duck of mine own breed or your Mothers; and a cup of Ale or Beer of our own brewing: this outlandish drink (this Wine) is more costly than wholesome: I warrant you the greatest part of this Country stands upon Corn, and Sheep: and where have you a Ploughman or a Shepherd, that almost knows what Drink it is, or cares for it, when he sees it? No, Ale and Beer is our best liquor, and therefore so far as may kill hunger and quench thirst, money hath served me, and so far shall it serve you: but, whether is more wisdom in getting money to serve necessities, and keep it for necessary causes, or to study tricks to lay it out upon nice inventions? Pam. Truly Sir, (as I said before, money is but reason's servant, & wisdom is reason's master: them if reason the Servant to wisdom, can find means even among fools to get money, either by Labour, Art, or Fortune: and wisdom only be the director of reason in the employment of that money, to the necessary comfort and honour of man: I hold it a greater wisdom well to dispose of a servants business, then to come by the Servant, for money is every man's Servant in one sort or other: but wisdom liveth but with a few, whom she maketh more honourable than the money-Master. Chre. Yea, how can that be? what honour is there without money? the best Scholar without money may make a hard dinner, and go in a threadbare Coat: and for all his grace in the Schools, have little grace in the world. Pam. Yet learning in itself is honourable, and if he be gracious in patience, either to bear his Cross, or to attend his comfort, then deserveth he the honour of that virtue that learning hath taught him, & is wronged if he have it not given him: for shall an Ass be held wise because he hath put on a Fox's skin, or like a wolf can pray on a lamb? or if a fool that hath but so much wit as to play the knave, & by his cunning to gather coin, shall such a Devil in the shape of man be honoured as a God? God forbid: no, the Golden Calf of Horeb was an Idol, and covetousness is the witch of wit, and the root of all evil. Chre. And which is the Top? Pam. Pride. Chre And what is the body? Pam Sloth. Chre. And what is the Arms? Pam. gluttony and drunkenness. Chre. What is the sap? Pam. Lechery. Chre. What the Bark? Pam. Envy. Chre. What are the Leaves? Pam. Vanities. Chre. The fruit? Pam. Shame and pain. Chre. Oh brave! a Tree for the devils garden, God bless my ground from such Trees. Pam. Amen. Chre. But here me a little, I think if a man should touch you with a tickling humour, of an effeminate nature, you would defend it to be good, and money necessary to be used in such a service: and were not that a pretty piece of learning? Pam Howsoever Sir you think of it: I can show good reason for it: for Love is an humour of the mind infused into the heart, by the virtue of the Spirit: which by the grace of wisdom, the art of reason, and the Service of money, worketh honourable effects in nature: for when the eye beholdeth beauty, nature is pleased in the object; when reason findeth wit, wisdom is delighted in the Subject; and when wisdom findeth grace, reason is joyful in understanding; and then all these meeting together in conceit, must needs work together for contentment: for the accomplishment of which, money must be a servant of necessity. As thus: If your neighbour had two Sons, the one were wise, learned, valiant, and honest, yet did want money to advance his virtues, & the other had much money, and no other good matter to move the least humour of good liking my sister to whom my grandmother hath left a good Portion, should effect this younger Brother without money, and leave the other to his all money: is it not fit and necessary, that her money should rather be an advancement of his virtues, and a content of her kindness, and perhaps increase of her comfort, rather than be a choaker of Midas, with more money than he can swallow, and be an increaser of Idolatry: and perhaps, a grief to you in the Prime of her own comfort: so if it should fall out with me to affect the hope of my fortune, would you spare your Purse to procure my preferment? believe it father, the best love is begotten by the eyes bred in the Brains, & grows to perfection in the heart: and shall not money be a servant then of necessity to attend the commandment of Love? fie on this Market-matches, where marriages are made without affections, and obedience is performed by a grieved patience: no let money be used as a Servant to reason, and not a Master of love. Chre. Oh fine boy; I almost find where you are, but let me tell you, though your words hang well together, yet me thinks, money lies better together: for if a Wench that hath money Love thee, spend of her purse, or else thou wantest wit: if thou have money and love her that hath none, her wit hath made a fool of thee: for, tell me a tale of a Tub, of eyes & ears, and hearts, object and subject, and wisdom, and reason: without money, 'tis not worth a whiff: for Aurum potabile is a strange quintessence: it will make age young again, it will give the heart a life beyond all the physic of the world: why Gold is half a God on the earth▪ it hath such power among people, Let a wench be wealthy, and set out in her bravery, though she be painted for her beauty, and scarce gentle for her parentage, yet, if she catch the name of a Lady, she must be honoured like Queen Guinever: & if she be but near a Princess, she shall be almost worshipped like a Goddess. Why go no further but to our own neighbours: what a slut will have a husband if she have but a little money. and what fine Wenches match with Clowns, but only for their Farms and their stocks? Pam. Yea, but Father, what follows? jealousy and Cuckoldry, and Bastardy, & Roguery▪ she cannot Love him, nor he her: youth cannot love age, age will be jealous of youth, and love will have his working: and therefore as I said before, the cause is covetousness and the root of all evil. Chre. Well said again boy: but yet 'twill not serve your turn, for I will have an other bout with you: for money is a matter of more moment than you make account of: why? money makes the medicine for the sick, pleads the Client's cause, maintains the merchants Trade, makes the Soldiers fight, and the Craftsman work, the travailer tread lightly, and the old Mare trot, and the young Tit Amble: it doth, I know not what, nor almost what can on earth be done without it? It frameth the instrument, tuneth the strings, playeth the lesson, & singeth the song it furnisheth the court, graceth the city, & maintaineth the country: In sum, let me tell thee, it is a matter of such moment, as there is neither youth, nor Beauty, Valour, nor Learning, wit nor wisdom, but if it want money to grace it, it shall have little grace in the world: and therefore let him be first counted wise that gets it, then wise that keeps it, and last wise that knows how to use it: and whatsoever opinions are of it, hold you with me this assurance of it, that he is wise who hath it, and so contrary to all them that say against it, say you, he is wise that is rich. Pam. Oh Father I am sorry to hear you speak so feelingly of your love to money: which you have been long in getting, careful in keeping, and will be sorrowful in leaving: Oh let it not have such power over you, to make you a slave to your Servant▪ it is but a dross trodden on by the feet of Beasts, serveth the beggar, as a greater person, the wicked as the virtuous, the jew as the Christian, embrodereth the Horse's clothes as the Lords cloak, and the maids kertell, as her Lady's petticoat: it begetteth Pride, breedeth wars, procureth Treasons, and ruins countries: and yet let me say this of it: the fault is not in itself, but in the use of it: and for the good that is done by it, is not of itself but in the wisdom of him or her that hath the use of it, and therefore let it be left indifferent good or evil, or neither of both, but fit for either as it is used: and count him rather wise that knows how to use it, then how to get it: for many get it by a wicked Father, which being wise, will not leave it to a wicked Son: many get it by Dice and Cards, which being wise, will employ it in better courses: many get it by an old blind widow, that have wit to spend it with sweeter creature: many get it by piracy at Sea, that employ it in a better course at Land: In brief, the getting of it sometime is so grievous to a good conscience, as can approve no wisdom in it, and the employing of it may be to so good an end, as proveth great wisdom in the managing of it: and therefore in my judgement, knowing no man wise through riches, but, many rich through wisdom, I hold him rich that is wise, not him wise that is rich. Chre. So than you would have me that have been careful to get money, which I have lying by me for necessary uses, bestow it upon you that know (as you think,) how to prove more wisdom in the employing of it: it may be I will do so with part of it, in hope, that you that can speak so well of it will know as well what to do with it: but before we come to that point, let me talk a little further with you touching your travail: what have you chiefly noted for your benefit? Pam. The natures of the Soils, the inhabitants of the Countries, the dispositions of the people, and the wisdom of the Governors: To the first, I noted according to the climate of wihat heat or coldness, dry or moistness, what fruit, what store, and in what season, what Rivers, fresh or salt, what cattle, and Fowl, and Fish, what Minerals, and what Mines. Chre And for Fish, you could bring none home alive, nor sweet: and, have not our Seas, and fresh-waters, as good Fish as other? And for cattle, there can be no better Beef nor Mutton, then ours: Now for Fowl, both Land and water Fowle: there are in our heaths, woods and fens, I think as good and as great variety with us as any where▪ but it may be, far fetched and dear bought is good for Ladies, and if you have hit on a little monster, as a Chameleon, or an Indian Fly, it may be, if you can use the matter handsomely, fools may give you money for the sight of it: now for Minerals, how much money soever you found in the country, I fear you have brought but a little out of it, and therefore for these notes, I think for any profit you made of your travail, you had been as good a tarried at home: Nowfor the people, I think, they are as we are in shape though by some of those outlandish, they mishap themselves in their apparel, I know not what to say to them, but, if the men be rich, it is like they will keep their money, and if poor, they will either beg, cheat, or steal, and so live as long as they can: and for the women, if they be fair, they know what to make of their beauty, and if Fowl, how to make of their money. Old Folks can tell how to govern Children, and youths will play the wags, if it be with their own Fathers: for Boys (God send them Grace) had never more wit than they have now a days. Now for the Governors, where there are many, it is strange if there be not one wise, and if the rest will observe good notes, their wits may prove near the worse: now if there be many wise, it will trouble one wit too much to take notice of them all: and therefore Son, though a little expense of money have bought thee a little experience, and the variety of knowledge have given thee a little contentment, yet, let no Idol corrupt thy conscience, no vanity corrupt thy wit, nor folly be Master of thy will: thy native soil is natural, thy Countrymen nearer to thee then strangers: thy kindred, then unknown people, and thy Father's house will give a kinder welcome, than the Palace of a Princess: Let not the alteration of the Air, alter thy nature, the object of thine eye the judgement of thy mind, nor the sound of the ear, the sense of thy heart: If thou be returned home, as thou goest out, I shall be glad of it: but if either France have taught thee fancies, italy wantonness, Flaunders drunkenness, or any place wickedness, I shall be sorry for thy Travail and wish thou hadst never gone: Oh let not wars make thee bloody, Courts make thee prodigal, trade make thee covetous, law make thee partial, women make thee wanton, nor flattery make thee proud: for, as Travail is the life of youth, and variety the love of knowledge, so yet after all thy Travail learn this, nay by thy variety of thy knowledge learn this Lesson, couldst thou see all the world, thou shouldest see nothing but a world, and in the end of all, find all have an end: Riches must either be spent or left, beauty must decay, honour must be transported, nature must grow weak, senses lose their sense, and life must end, and then when all is gone, than vanity, vanity, and all is vanity: in the grave there is no beauty, no honour, no wealth, no sense, no life: & thither you must as well as I, and who knoweth, who first? now whether it be in the Sea, or in the land, in a Fish's belly or a Leaden Coffin: all is one, a grave there must be, of whosoever it be: and therefore before thou comest to that last Inn of thy worlds journey, let me wish thee wheresoever thou goest, and whatsoever thou seest, be still one man & remember one thing: serve but one God, love but one & thine own country, have but one wife & trust but one friend: for many Gods breedeth heathens miseries, many country's traveler's humours, many wives men's purgatories, and many friends trusts ruin: first God gave thee life, love him for it: yea he loveth thee, live to him for it: your Country gave you food under God, love it for it: your Country gave you knowledge first under God, live in it for it: your wife gives you Issue, love her for it, she easeth your house cares, live with her for it: and your friend conceals your secrets, love him for it: and is an other yourself, live near to him for it: and leaving the vain desire of variety, live to the only love of virtue: spend your thoughts in contemplation of Divine comfort, your substance in the service of God, and benefit of your country: wag not wanton with the wandering eyes, nor trifle out time in unprofitable toys, cover not your bald head with Periwigs of borrowed hair▪ curl not your beard with hot Irons: leer not aside like a Bear-whelp, nor look under the brows like a Bull▪ Dog, march not in a town of peace like a Soldier, nor run out of your wits in an humour: carry not a picke-tooth in your mouth, a flower in your ear, nor a Glove in your Hat, for it is apish and foolish, devised by idle heads, and worn by shallow wits: bind not your invention to Poetry, nor make an Oration of an Epistle: Learn but two parts of speech, to speak good words, and to good purpose: go cleanly but not gaiely, and gain honestly, and spend thriftily: feed sparingly, drink moderately, sleep sound, but rise early, so passing thy time merrily, thou shalt live happily and die blessedly: this lesson hath been taught me at home, and I doubt: you will scarce find a better abroad: but lest I grow tedious to thee, thus to take thee to School as soon as thou comest home, I pray thee tell me thy opinion of contentment: whether it can be so well had abroad, as at home? Pam. Truly Father I know not the mind of every man, nor how fully to define content: but when wit hath found out, reason hath judged, and nature hath received the pleasure of the Spirit in the delight of the senses, I think, if in the world there be any content it is there: Now, be it at home or abroad, all is one, for there is an old sentence which is oftentimes newly in effect. Omne Solum fortis patria: every house is home, all Countries are one to a resolute mind: a friend is a friendabroad, & an enemy is an enemy at home: virtue is limited to no place, but honoured in all persons, & love hath a world to walk in, to take the pleasure of his fortune, where variety of choice tries the wisdom of judgement: my father, if I behold him but as a man, I can love him but as a man, but when I think of his love, I love him as a Father: now, love being bound to no place, cannot forget his own nature any where: nay absence of place strengthens the memory of Love: and therefore if I behold myself, in being a son, I remember my Father▪ if I behold your bounty, I remember your blessing, and honour your Love: so that still I say, it is not the place, that perfecteth affection, no not in nature: and sometime absence is the cause of the more joy in love, as in the Soldier, who after Conquest returneth with more honour than he had at home: the Merchant after a voyage, pleaseth his mistress with better wares than she had at home: the Courtier after travail, tells his Lady a better tale, then of a Fox and a Goose, and the Scholar after Travail, makes a better verse then at home: why the Clown after travail can learn to kiss his hand, & maid Malkin after travail, can make new countenances & new complexions: oh father, this home humour will soon be worn so threadbare, that if it were not shifted with some travail (even with lazy) wit would grow lousy: for in place of account, where knowledge is to be inquired, there is more matter than for the Market, and of more judgement than master constables: were the wise that have seen the world, note the necessary good of Travail: who never heard but a jacke-dawe would think a Parrot a spirit, & either be afraid of her, or in love with her, when he that knoweth her what she is, will regard her as she is: now he that never saw but an Ape, would think a Baboon a little devil▪ but he that hath travailed where they are bred, will know them for ordinary beasts of those countries: he that never saw a Mountebank, would take a curtizen for a better creature, but he that had seen their traffic would never care for their trade: he that never saw a Whale would think it a Devil in the Sea, but he that had been where they are bred would know it there, an ordinary Fish: he that never saw a Picture would go near to think it an Angel, but he that knows them what they be, will think of them as they are. Oh Father, the Tyranny of one Prince makes the mercy of an other more glorious: the terror of war, makes peace seem more joyful, and the danger of the Sea makes the Land more wished for: doth not the drunkenness of one Country make sobriety in an other seem more gracious? the Treasons in one Country make loyalltie more honourable in an other? and who hath not seen the one, how can he judge of the other? now, for further causes of contentment, what Gold is in the Indies? what Art in China? what workmanship in Milan? what building in Florence? what Fountains in Genova? what State in Norremberge? and for Venice who hath not seen it cannot praise it, but who hath seen it, and can judge of it, I leave him to speak of it. Oh the Corn, wine and fruit of France▪ the Oil, Spice, Drugs and fruit of Spain▪ the Rosen, Pitch, Tar, and Hemp, Wax, and Honey from the east Countries▪ the Velvets, Satins, taffeties and Silks of Italy, and other far Countries! are these at home? yea, but how? not to be seen with that contentment that it is at their home: for, to see the little Worm that winds the Silk, how she lives before her working, and then, how with her work, she pays for her living, how neat the Maids bring them to Market, wound up in their work, how finely they are wound out of their work, and their Silken threads woven into divers fine Stuffs, as well Cloth of Gold, Tissue, Silver, or Tuffed or plain Velvet or Satin, or stuffs of other names, the rareness in the Art of it, and the neatness in the doing of it, it is a thousand times more contentive, then to buy it in a Shop, and to wear it in slappe: Oh to see a General in the midst of an Army, or a City besieged! to see the Beauty of one, and note the strength of the other, and to tarry the fortune of both, it would make you break your Spade, and your Flail, and as old as you are, try the Fortune of your Sword, to see but one such a sight in all your life: why in a Chamber to see a woman of worth sued to, by the better sort, to hear the excellency of her wit delivered at the end of her tongue, with such a grace of modesty, as might clear suspicion of ungracious action, when her eyes like stars did sparkle in the little Element of her face, and her hairs like wires, might wind up the thoughts of loves heart, while her words like Oracles, should conjure honour to loyalty, to behold such a queenlike creature in the richest of her array. to read her in the excellency of her wit, & hear her in the excellency of her music, were such a contentment to the spirit of good understanding, as would make the heart to rise, to the highest of his worlds joy: and, is this to be seen at home in a cupboard, or a Corne-lofte, or a Cow pastor? no, no, I confess, flesh and blood, red and white, and lovely brown, will do well where are no better: but a country dance is but a jig to a stately Pavane: no father had you seen that which I have seen, and know that I know, you would long as well as I to see that I would see: for an old Man's lesson, is knowledge by experience, and a young Man's Love is variety of understanding, which is the fruit of Travail. Chre. Well Son, I said it not for nought, that Boys in these days, have wit at will, God send them grace to use it well: but, now I have heard you at leisure, give me leave to answer you a little touching contentment: you say, every house is a home, and every Country alike to a resolved spirit, but he that selleth Land at home, to look over Land abroad, when his money is spent, and he hath neither house nor home, what then follows, but, instead of content, play Mal-Content: and for the commodity of Land, better have an Acre of land in Cheapside, than a hundredth in the Land of waste, for it is either under water, or subject to drowning, and therefore tell not me of your outlandish earth nor the fruits of it: for, I can have as good herbs and fruits here at my door for my money, as you can have any where in your travail, I know it: for I have heard them say it, that have tried it: why? have not we our Cherry, our Strawberry, our Raspesse, our Goose-berrie and our Mulberry, and I know not how many berries, as the Season serves? have not we the Plum, the Pear, the Apricock, the Apple, the warden, and the Quince, the Walnut and the filbert, and the Hasell Nut, the Meddler, and the Chestnut, and all in their seasons, growing in our countries, & brought to our markets? and are they not cheaper here then to travail for them, I know not whether? Indeed, I think we have them not in such abundance, for I hold no such necessity: now, for Minerals, I do not think but you may find more Gold and Silver above the ground in one Acre in Cheapside, than you may find in ten of the best Acres in your Travail: and therefore, for Earth I think we have as good at home, as you can find abroad: and so much for your earth. Now for your fine worms, and your worming Maids, it is a pretty idle thing to stand peering on a Worm, but, perhaps we have worms at home, that wind themselves up in Silk, though they be not carried to Market, one of which are better worth than a hundredth of your worms, & for Maids, if our maids be not as cleanly on the market day, as they are on a Holiday, trust me no more, and I am sorry you can say no more for yours: for they that be not Sluts, will be neat, and there is an end: and for your Silks and Velvets, we have our Satins here with such a glass, that you may almost see your face in it, upon the backside of a Farthingale: and therefore talk no more of it: we have it here without travail, as well as you have it thore with your travail, and so content yourself: Now for your Parrots, your Apes, your Whales & your tricks, some of them we hear speak, and other we see dance, & other we hear of, and what care we for more? they that will be fools to give money for fancies, let them alone with their follies, I wish not to Travail for any such toys: Now for your Camp and your City besieged, how gallant soever the sights seem pleasing to your humour, yet I think the heart of a wise man will be better pleased with a poor peace, than a Rich War: though commonly War be the cause of poverty, and peace of wealth: Now for your wenching humour, so fine and so wise, so fair, and so sweet in her looks, and her words, and her tricks, and her toys, I thank God, the thought of that world is done with me, and I would it were never to be thought on with you: for let an Old Man's lesson be what it will, a fair wench is a young Man's Love, and so I allow it should be: but then I would have it near home, that I might judge the better of it, for there are as I hear, so many Painters of women's faces, so many instructors of women's tongues, and so many flatterers of women's humours, that if a man have not both his insight and his outsight, he may pay home for his blindness: and therefore, let Wires, And Oracles, and such Poetical figures or fictions pass, and for a flaxen or a brown hair, for a chaste eye, and an honest face, for a good complexion, and a gracious disposition, I think all the world is not better provided for good Wenches then our Country, talk of your far Countries what you list, and therefore I see not how you are benefited by your Travail, more than to have liberty to tell more than many well believe: but let me ask you one thing in your Travail, did you not read any Ancient Histories? Pam. Yes diverse: and one which me thinks were worthy to be read of daily: of Lycurgus the great Lawmaker. Chre. What might that be, that you wish so to call in memory? Pam. The Law that he first made when he came into the City of Athens, that all the Fools and jesters should be whipped out of the City. Chre That would go sore now I tell you, for they thrive strangely in these days: but tell me, have you not read, nor heard the opinions of the Philosophers, touching their descriptions of some especial matters? Pam. Yes, I have read certain descriptions of opinions, but, I find not their names set down: I have read a strange description of a Woman. Chre. And not of a man? Pam. Oh yes and that to good purpose. Chre. I pray thee if thou canst remember them, recite them. Pam. First I read that a woman was the crack of a Man's wit, & the trouble of his understanding, the hardest part of his body, & the worst part of his substance, Nature's Baby, and reasons Torture. Chre. And what of Man? Pam. I read that Man is the Pride of Nature, the play of Time, a Woman's Fool, & an Ape's Schoolmaster. Chre. And what of Riches? Pam. That they are the Plague of wit, the subduer of reason, the tempter of Nature, and the abuse of time. Chre. And what of poverty? Pam. That it is the Badge of Patience, the trial of virtue, the Touchstone of grace, and the punishment of mercy. Chre. Good Notes, but whom have you noted the most happy in the world? Pam. The Foole. Chre. Your Reason? Pam. Because he knows no unhappiness. Chre. And who most unhappy? Pam. The Atheist, because he wants grace. Chre. Whom the Richest? Pam. The wise: because, knowledge is a high Treasure. Chre. And who the wisest? Pam. The faithful, because they are half way in Heaven. Chre. What is the best government? Pam love. Chre. And what is the best punishmen? Pam. Fasting. Chre. What is the best Law? Pam. justice. Chre. And what the best pleading? Pam Truth. Chre. Short, and sweet, I like all this well: now tell me what is the best Beauty? Pam. Virtue: for that it makes the fowl fair, and the fair gracious. Chre. What the best honour? Pam. Wisdom, for that it serves God, & governs the world. Chre. What hast thou read to be the greatest torment of the world? Pam. An unquiet wife, because a man is bound to her. Chre. And what the greatest comfort? Pam. A quiet conscience, because it keeps the soul in peace. Chre. What find you the most precious? Pam. The word of God, for it directs the soul. Chre. And what next? Pam. Time, for it is wisdoms rule. Chre. And what is most grievous? Pam. A frustrate hope, for it grieves the heart. Chre. And what most joyful? Pam, A settled faith, for it is fearless. Chre. Which is the most witty creature in the world? Pam. A Woman because she can make a Fool of a man. Chre. And which is the most foolish? Pam. A wicked man, because he leaves heaven for hell. Chre. What hold you the least worth? Pam. Vanity, because it is a hurt of wit. Chre. What virtue hold you the greatest? Pam. Patience, for it keeps the Spirit in temper. Chre. And what vice the vilest? Pam, Drunkenness, for it makes a Beast of a Man▪ Chre. What is the best study? Pam. Divinity, for it is the School of Wisdom. Chre. What next? Pam. Philosophy, for it is the School of Nature. Chre. What thinkest thou of Love? Pam. A trouble of wit. Chre. What thinkest thou of beauty? Pam. A colour. Chre. Of Youth? Pam. A Spring. Chre. Of Age? Pam. A Blast. Chre. Of Honour? Pam. A Title▪ Chre. Of power? Pam. A charge. Chre. Of Wealth? Pam. A care. Chre. Of life? Pam. A Travail. Chre. Of death? Pam. A rest. Chre. Truly Son what thou hast benefited thy body by thy travail, I know not, but by the Travail of thy spirit, I see thou hast so much bettered thy knowledge, that I care not whether thou goest, so thou returnest so well home: and were it not to weary thee to much, I would ask thee a few more questions. Pam. What please you I will answer the best I can and crave pardon, if all be not to your liking. Chre. No thou canst not displease my love, that joys not a little in thine understanding: and therefore, let me first ask thee, where dost thou think is the most danger in the world? Pam. At the Sea: for the Winds, and the Waves, the Rocks & the sands do often threaten destruction. Chre. And where most safety to live? Pam. In heaven: for in the world there is none. Chre. But in the world where is the sweetest life? Pam. In the University: for there are the best wits, and the best rules. Chre. And where the vainest life? Pam. Among women: for there is but loss of time Chre. And where the costliest? Pam. Among Courtiers: for there is much pride in apparel, and great causes of expense. Chre. And where the Idlest? Pam. In the Ordinaries where there is nought but talk, and play, and Cheer. Chre. Where is the quiet life? Pam. In the Country, where wit may feed the spirit in contemplation. Chre. Where the noblest? Pam. In the wars: where valour may show mercy, and wisdom gain honour. Chre. And where the most blessed? Pam. In the Church, where prayer and fasting finds admirable comfort▪ Chre Well said my good Boy, but out of thine own Country, tell me where thou didst find most contentment? Pam. In Italy: for there I found the Merchant rich, the Soldier valiant, the Courtier Affable, the Lawyer Learned, and the Craftesman cunning, the Women fair, and the Children toward: the earth fruitful, the fruit pleasant, the Climate temperate, and the Labourer painful. I cannot say but in other Countries I found divers of these, but not all, so much in any. Chre. And where most discontentment? Pam. In Barbary, where the Soldier is bloody, the jew lives with the Gentle, the Merchant is of no pleasing carriage, the Courtier I never saw, the Women are not beautiful, the Climate is hot, and the Soil but even so, so: and in sum, little good but Hides and Sugar. Chre. I hope thou didst make no long stay there: Pam. No Sir, nor ever intent to come there again: I had rather make Salt my Sugar, than Travail thither again for it. Chre. Where didst thou make thy longest abode? Pam. In Italy, and there, except at home with you, I had rather spend my life, then in many places of the world: and in Venice of any place there. Chre. Your reason? Pam. Because there I may feed mine eyes with many fair objects, and my mind with many deep considerations: to behold the platform and Situation of the City, how it standeth environed with the Sea: then to view the stately buildings of stones, as well in their Churches as their Houses: upon the Realta, to see the variety of strangers, to observe the people, their habits, their Languages, and their carriages: to see the treasurer of S. Marco, the provision in their Arsenal, and the state in the Duke's Palace: to note the strict & civil manner of their government, to converse with fine wits, to accompany kind natures, to behold their fair Ladies, and to enjoy the liberty of conscience, to take a Gondolo, and cross a smooth Sea, to their sweet Rivers, and at pleasure to take the air of their pleasant villages: to feed of their sweet fruits, and drink of their delicate wines: with other needless things to talk of, that except this country, and your house, I know no such place of contentment. Chre. Thou sayst well, these causes, of content may well make thee in love with the Country: but I am glad to hear thee except thine own country & my house, where I doubt not, thou shalt receive as much true content, as either Italy, or all the world can afford thee: at least if I can devise it, it shall be so: but if it cannot be, it shall be my content, that thou shalt have it where thou wilt, or canst devise it: but, being now abroad, & supper will not be ready this hour: I pray thee recite me some pretty History, or tell me some pretty tale of somewhat that hath passed in the way of thy passage: I care not of what nature it be, it shall content me. Pam. Upon the sudden to call to mind any history of ancient time, that may be worth the recounting, I shall have somewhat to do: but of some such matter as hath passed in my Travail, whereof I have been either an eye witness, or had perfect intelligence, that I may tell you the truth, I care not if I acquaint you with the discourse. Chre, I pray thee do, and thou sayst well, for travailers are given (some say) to begull the world with gudgeons: especially such as long after news & to hear strange things, though they neither understand them in the telling of them, nor can remember a word of them, but for thyself, though I were but a friend, yet I see, such is thy knowledge of good, as will not let thee commit so great an evil: & therefore, on gods name say what thou wilt, it shall content me, I will believe it, & thank thee for it, for it will be a good mean to pass away the time, and to make our walk seem the shorter. Pam. Sir to tell you of a bloody fight, a defeated army, the Sack of a City, or the wrack of a Ship, were more lamentable than comfortable: to tell you of a monster, that had been the death of a man, would but move pity and grief to tell you of the plague in a country, and the ruin of a kingdom, would but be a breeding of melancholy: to tell you of a Shepherd and his Dog, would but show you that you see every day: to talk of a Fox and a Goose, why the country is too full of them every where: to tell you of a Wolf & a Lamb, why it would but make you pray for your flock: & therefore to leave all idle & unfitting humours, I will tell you in my opinion, a true & pretty discourse of somewhat that happened in a City, where I spent some time, which I hope shall not dislike you. Chre. I pray thee do. Pam. Then Sir you shall understand, in the City of Venice, a place in which I spent some time, it was my hap, among other contentments to fall acquainted with a young Gentleman, much of mine own years, had been at the university, seen something in travail, & there finding many pleasing spirits, thought good to spend some time among them: it fell out one morning among other, going towards S. marco in my company, passing by a house of a great Magnifico or gentlemanly merchant, he chanced to espy, in an entry within the door, a pretty, nay a young gentleman talking with a fair damsel, whom he imagined to be the young man's mistress, but it fell out she was his sister: now the young gentleman well acquainted with my friend, beckoned him into the house, & gave not only him, but me also▪ for his sake, a very kind welcome, & procured no less at the hands of his fair sister: whom though far short of her desert, I will describe in her worthiness her years about twenty the prime of nature's pride and virginities honour: beautiful, so far, as a creature can be imagined. wise with that modesty that made her wit admirable: & kind, with that care that made humility gracious▪ her portion though not for a prince, yet able to make a poor man wealthy: & for her proportion, the painter might be graced in her counterfeit▪ loved she was of all that knew her, hated of none that could know her: served of many that were happy to attend her, and especially beloved of one that did truly honour her, who was the young man whom as myself I loved: often did he solicit his suit with such secret proof of his affection, as made her Parents no less willing to entertain his kindness, then her his love: his speech was seldom & not much, his letters few & not tedious, his gifts not many, but of worth: and thus far wrought her favour with his affection, that for women though he saw many, yet he loved none but her: her virtue made him vow chastity, her beauty were his eyes bliss, her modesty, was his loves praise, & her love, his life's honour: she knew it, and was pleased in it▪ I knew it, and love him for it: her parents used him as a Son, her Brother as himself, and she as her Brother: now affection grew to passion, and patience to join with reason, for the confirmation of a mutual comfort: but what fortune doth in these courses, too many in their crosses can witness: he was far from his parents, & she at home with her friends: loathe he was to put her to adventure of her honour, with his fortune, though in him she reposed her worlds felicity: loathe she was to leave him for want of what with him, and yet her care was such of him, that she would be ruled by him: and therefore having betwixt themselves sealed with their hands, the infringible band offaith and troth in the heart, after a supper in her father's house, & a breakfast in her brother's lodging, as well as love could give him leave, he took leave of his fair lady, to look home toward his father, to whom he would impart his suit, of whom he would obtain a blessing, and from whom he would return to her, with his fortune: To tell you the manner of their parting, if ever you were in the like perplexity, would but revive a forgotten passion: but, when swallowed sighs, and bleeding tears had almost marred all on both sides, her brother carried her away, & I brought him away, and so went the world away: Now many a night since have I lain with him, and heard him deliver such due praises of her worthiness, and sigh out such deep sorrows of his own unhappiness, that if I could have done him good, I could not have denied him, and not being able, I could not but sorrow with him. Chre. Alas poor Gentleman, where did you leave him? Pam. Not far from his father's house. Chre. And doth his father love him? Pam. Or else he were unnatural. Chre. And doth he love his Father? Pam. dearly, I will swearefor him. Chre. And will not his father help him? Pam. He is fearful to charge him. Chre. And dost thou love him? Pam. As myself: and dearest of any but yourself. Chre. What will serve him? Pam, A thousand Crowns. Chre. I will give it him, and thee as much more to accompany him▪ Pam. And will you not repent it when you know him? Chre. Why, I know he is not mine enemy, if he be thy friend: and if thou lovest him, I will think nothing too dear for him? Pam, Imagine it were myself: Chre. Have I ought too dear for my Son, that could find me out such a Daughter? Pam. Then dear Father pardon my circumstance, and favour my suit, your son is the man▪ my Mistress the Lady: and in the performance of your word, lies the hope of my comfort. Chre. sayst thou me so Boy? gramercy for thy merry tale: I will be as good as my word to thee and better in my love to thee: I will go to her with thee, and make up the match for thee: Thy valour with her Beauty, thy learning with her wit, thy honesty with her virtue, thy land with her money, I hope shall make a happy conjunction: for though thou wert a stranger, thou shalt be found no beggar: and now thy Mother is dead, and thy sister is married, I care not in my old age to see a little of the world with thee: but yet by the way, now thy wooing is past, for thy wiving let me tell thee: If she govern thee, thou art gone: Lord have mercy upon thee: and if she will be governed by thee, then beware of a fools Paradise, for Women have stomachs: and if they cannot prank, they will powte, if they be fair they are either idle or worse occupied, if fowl either sullen, or uncomfortable: if rich, either proud or froward: if witty, in danger of humours: if fantastic, out of question Amorous: if young, wilful: if aged: wayward: Now tell me how wilt thou choose a wife? if thou fit not her humour she will frown, if she fit not thine, thou wilt fret, & therefore though wit be gracious, & beauty be precious, & kindness be comfortable, & virtue be honourable, and wealth do well, & love be a wonderful thing, & all this be in a woman, yet, when use makes weariness, & weariness makes loathsomeness, & constancy is so cumbersome that it hinders much contentment: when she falls deaf, or thou blind, or she sick, & thou poor, or she be of one mind or thou of an other, that complaints must be made, causes must be decided, quarrels must be ended, enemies must be reconciled, or parties parted, and how then? when will or want breeds woe or wickedness, & love is an other thing than hath been talked ofin the old time, what then? swearing & staring, scolding and brawling, cursing & banning, & crying: oh fine life for a mad dog, when the child bawls in the Cradle, the wife brawls at the table, the nurse wralles in the kitchen, & the maid mumbles in the seller, where are you then? in a pitiful wood, alas the day that ever I did it: there is no help for it, & therefore in time look to it▪ if thy mistress be as thou sayst, God keep her so: if she be not & hold not, if thou sayest thou lovest her, I pray heartily that it hold it so: but hope says the best, & I will believe it, & fear says the worst, & I will defy it only this my Son, let me tell thee touching the managing of a wife, maintaining love with a wife, & the assured notes of a loving wife: & first for the managing of a wife note her years, her wit, her disposition, & her acquaintance: if she be young, be careful but not jealous of her, make not two beds with her, except in sickness, & that not feigned: let her not want such company, as you think fit for her, for idleness & solitariness, put many thoughts into a woman's head, that may anger her husband at the heart: why a dream sometime of unkindness will put strange passions into some woman's head, & therefore awake let her not be without company to exercise her wits in good conference: lest she be worse employed in ill cogitations: let her be appareled to thy calling, but no further, for fear of pride, & then a worse plague: let her feed wholesomely, but not to daintily: for, as snow engendereth hail, a licoris tongue will have a covetous mind: you know my meaning, let her want no necessaries, nor feed her with superfluities, welcome her friends that are honest, & keep her from tattling Gossips, make some commend her modesty in her hearing, but unseen: cherish all good humours in her▪ let her lack no silk, cruel, thread, nor flax, to work on at her pleasure, force her to nothing▪ rather prettily chide her from her labour, but in any wise commend what she doth if she be learned and studious, persuade her to translation, it will keep her from Idleness, & it is a cunning kind task: if she be unlearned, commend her housewifery, and make much of her carefulness, and bid her servants take example at their mistress: wink at an ill word, at least if it grow of ignorance: and sometime feed her humour, so it be not to thine own dishonour: let her use thy purse but not be privy to thy state: If she be given to play, take heed of a trick, and if it be at Tables, look she bear not false: at board be merry with her, abroad kind to her, always loving to her, and never bitter to her for patient grizel: is dead long ago, and women are flesh and blood, though some have little wit & reason: if she be wise observe her, if virtuous love her, if kind requite her, & if constant make too much of her, for she is a jewel, and more worth than you can imagine her: believe me Son what I tell thee, for I have danced the dance before thee, and though I will not blow the horn to thee, yet if thou hunt a good chase, I can teach thee: Tush though Boys be mad wags, yet an old Dog bites sore: and therefore, my good Boy, hear and note what I tell thee: thou wilt find it will be good for thee: if she college and kiss thee, and hang on thy lips, take heed she do not flatter thee, and look who is behind thee: if she powte, and lower at thee, she means no good to thee: words of course may be good, but course words are nought: take heed of a leering eye, and glib tongue, for they are commonly like a crossbow, soon bend: take heed of a proud spirit and a fowl mouth, for they are most of them either costly, or unquiet: take heed of a swearer & a drunkard, for they will surely bring thee to destruction: but what need I to give thee warning of these woes, when thou hast made a choice of so many comforts? & therefore I will only hope the best, and believe it, and help thee in what I can to it. Pam. My good Father, how much I hold my self bound to your kindness, I cannot express, but will endeavour in my duty to make you find: for though I am assuredly persuaded of my judgement, yet shall my wit give place to your experience: and such and so many are the merry tricks of these days, that four pair of spectacles will scarcely help one pair of eyes, to see clearly into the true constancy of a kind woman: for though in my mistress, I hope it is not so, yet naturally in many, it is so: they have strange humours in painting their faces, in borrowing their hairs, & changing their minds: why, sure I think they are mad, when they think themselves wise: when running from God to the Devil, they can cuckold their husbands with knaves, though sometime money makes such matches, that Beggars live better lives: and it is a fine jest, to see how the devil teacheth them, to excuse their own sin, as thus: flesh is frail, these wicked men are full of temptation, and my husband is such a, and so forth: but this will not serve, when time shall serve, that they shall answer for their service to God, and their husbands: but I hope mine is not so, nor will prove so: nor any honest husband is so ill wived, nor any honest wife so ill minded: 'tis but a tale surmised to wrong poor Wenches, and fright poor fools, and therefore such as are good, God hold them so, and such as are to blame let them do no more so. Chre. Amen Boy say I to: but I doubt the worse, therewill be tricks in the world, that every man shall not be acquainted with: but since we are entered into this same love-talke, though it be a matter past my reach many year ago, yet to refresh an old wit, let me ask thee one question? Pam. As many as please you. Chre. If love be in the world, where dost thou think he lives? Pam. In men's hearts and women's eyes. Chre. How is that found? Pam. By women's tongues, and men's wits. Chre. How so? Pam. Why their eyes speak kindly, & men's hearts believe it: and their tongues bewitch men's wits, that are carried away with it. Chre. Whither are they carried? Pam. To their wills. Chre, And what to do? Pam. To undo themselves. Chre. Is it so in all? Pam. For the most part. Chre. How then is it with thee? Pam. far otherwise▪ for when you shall see the subject of my choice, I doubt not but you will say, if there be a Phoenix in a woman, and an Angel in an earthly creature, she is one. Chre. Oh but Son, speak neither poetically, nor profanely, for the Phoenix is but a fiction, and an Angel is a heavenly creature, if it be a good one, or else I know not what to say to it, whether it may be in a woman or not: for let me tell thee, a woman being the weaker vessel, I wonder how (having a stronger spirit than her husbands) she doth not burst with the force of it? Pam, No, no, as you say, it may be a worse spirit than her own that doth haunt her but by fits, to try her husband's patience, which being found, puts the fury to flight, and then she becomes herself again: but from such spirits in women that use men thus, good Lord deliver us. Chre. Amen say I boy, for thy sake, for I have done with them: but tell me now the reason of patience, why, a man than sees his misery, knows his abuse, and will abide it, why he should so befool himself to digest it. Pam. Because, in seeking to help himself, he may hurt himself, & of two evils the least is to be choose, for shame cannor be recovered, grief cannot be put off, murder cannot be answered, & therefore a fault must be winked at: and in time either age or weakness, will make them weary of it that use it, and then repentance makes the perfect creature: virtue is a divine gift, and every one hath it not: Chastity is good for Alcamistrie, but that is a long study: wisdom lines but with a few, and therefore a great many must be borne withal, and honesty is such a jewel, that there is little money to be gotten by it▪ and yet there are wise, and fair, rich, and virtuous women, and make men happy that can happen on them: among which it may be that your mistress may be, and I hope will be one of them. Pam. Oh Father doubt it not, for a stayed eye, a natural beauty, a soft speech, a strait proportion, a gracious gesture, and an humble mind, show a true heart, a good wit, a blessed soul, and an excellent creature, and such is my Mistress. Chre. And yet a stayed eye, may have a strange sight, a blushing cheek, an ill forehead, a soft speech, a sly meaning, and an humble mind, a covered craft: but so I hope hath not your mistress. Pam Oh no, variety of knowledge, solitary walks, holy observance and necessary exercise: show a careful wit, a contemplative spirit, a zealous heart, and an industrious mind, and such hath my mistress. Chre. And yet variety may breed vanity, solitariness may shadow pride, holy shows may hide hipocricie, and exercise may prove cunning: but such I hope isnot your mistress. Pam. No Father, virtue and vanity, are odd, Solitariness and pride are of a contrary humour, holiness & Ipocricie, are contraries, and labour and craft are of sundry natures, and my mistress and an ordinary creature are different in their dispositions: and therefore I beseech you, if you speak of the best sort, let her not be left out, & if of the worst, think not of her name, for she hath no place in their imperfections. Chre. I like thee well boy, I see persuasion doth well in affection, thou wilt stand for thy Mistress against the whole world: it is well done, for if she be worthy thy praise stick to her, if thou be worthy her favour, never leave her: but now leaving this love tale till we come where the matter is further to be talked of, let me have an other bout with you, for a few points of your opinion touching certain propositions, that I mean to make you. Pam. Dear father your Son will be ready to perform his best to your pleasure: & therefore say what shall please you. Chre. Tell me then, if you must leave your father, or your mistress, which would you leave? Pam. My Mistress. Chre. Your reason. Pam. Because I may have such an other mistress, but such an other father I cannot have. Chre. But if your Mistress were your wife, how then? Pam. I must leave Father and mother, and cleave to my wife. Chre. If you must lose your land or your love, which would you? Pam. My Land: for I may purchase other Land but I cannot purchase such an other love. Chre. If you were without a wife, you may be rich, and by a wife shall be poor: which will you? Pam. A wife for Godliness is great riches to him that is content with that he hath. Chre. If you may be wise, and will not, and would be wise and cannot, which would you choose? Pam. The may be, for where there is power, we may be persuaded, but where there is no power, will is not to be spoken of. Chre. If example teach you, & you conceive it not, or if you conceive it, and regard it not, which is the worse? Pam. Not to conceive, for will is sooner cured than wit, of any imperfection. Chre. If a friend deceive you, & an enemy help you, whom will you love best? Pam. My friend▪ for they do both again their wills, and the one out of no good, the other out of no evil mind. Chre. Thus much for a friend and a wife: Now to other matters: what dost thou think most needful in the world? Pam. Honesty there is so little of it, that it is in few men's hands. Chre. And what least needful? Pam. Villainy, there is so much, that many hung for it. Chre. What is most comfortable in the world? Pam, air, for it maintains life. Chre. What most profitable? Pam. Money, for it gains thousands. Chre. What least profitable? Pam. Pride, for it spends much. Chre. Which is the vilest creature in the world? Pam. The Cuckoo, for she kills the sparrow that hatched her Chre. And which the kindest? Pam, The Pelican, for she kills herself to feed her young. Chre. Who is the truest lover in the world? Pam. The Turtle, for she never changeth whom she chooseth. Chre. Which is the most dogged bird in the world? Pam. The Turkey-Cocke for he beats his hen when he hath trodden her. Chre. which is the most foolish bird? Pam. The Woodcock, for she is ever showing her tail. Chre. Which is the best beast in the world? Pam. The Unicorn, for his horn killeth poison, & he never hurteth a Virgin. Chre. Which is the most stately? Pam. The Lion, because he stoops all other with his look Chre. Which is the most crafty? Pam. The Fox, when he scrapes the huntsman. Chre. And what the strangest? Pam. An Ape, because he is like a man, Chre. And which is the most monstrous Beast? Pam. A wittol, because he hath a world of horns. Ch. Well said, which is the nimblest beast in the world Pam. A Chameleon, for he can turn himself into diverse colours in an instant. Chre. Which is the most profitable beast in the world Pam. An Ox, for when he hath drawn all the year, he will make beef against Christmas. Chre. What is the most unprofitable Beast? Pam. A Wolf, for he is good for nothing while he lives, nor dead, but for his skin. Chre. Which is the sweetest Beast of the world? Pam. A civit Cat. Chre. And which is the most unsweet? Pam. A dog when he hath eaten carrion. Chre. Well, thus I see thou art able to answer me to good purpose, to whatsoever I shall propound thee▪ but leaving this ticktacke, shall we go to some other game? Pam. What please you. Chre. Then let me be merry with thee: and to my questions answer me conceitedly. Pam. As I can without offence. Bhre. Then first to your Grammar rules, how many parts of speech are there? Pam. Two, to speak well or speak ill. Chre. What is a noun substantive? Pam. A rich man, for he can stand alone without help. Chre. A noun adjective? Pam. A Beggar, that lives of alms, for he cannot stand alone. Chre. What is a Verb? Pam. Love: for when you have declined it to the full, it makes nothing but a noise: for it hath no substance. Chre Well, leaving further to speak of these grounds of learning, let me ask you, when an english is given to be made in Latin, what is to be done? Pam. No harm, if it be well made. Chre. How do the Nominative case, and the verb agree? Pam. Better than many neighbours, that can hardly live together. Chre. How understand you the Plural number in one person? Pam, Two ways: one in haec homo the common of two or three: or in a Wench great with child, before she know her husband. Chre. How make you a figure of a Cipher? Pam. When a fool keeps a place among wise men. Chre. And how a Cipher of a figure? Pam. Of a wiseman without money: for a purse without money is a body without life. Chre. How figure you a Gerunde? Pam. In hope, ever doing, and never done. Chre. And how a Participle? Pam. In hap, done well or ill. Chre. And how make you a broken number? Pam. With sighs, and sobs. Chre. And how a full point? Pam. At the grave: because I can go no further at least in this world. Chre. A good place for them that walk right, but for other, it is a sorry gate to a heavy house: but leaving those points to men of more divine studies, let us a little more talk of the course of the world: and tell me what is the reason, why one man that hath no wit, shall have much money, and an other that is very wise, can get little? Pam Because the one hath gotten understanding, and the other hath gotten to stand under. Chre. Indeed thou sayest well, the wise man stands over, and the covetous stands under his money: but tell me thy opinion, why should a knave prosper, and an honest man go down the wind? Pam. Because the one seeks his paradise here, and the other in an other world. Chre What dost thou think most beautiful in the world? Pam. A fair day. Chre. And what most uncomfortable on the earth? Pam. Imprisonment. Chre. And what most pleasing to nature? Pam. Liberty. Chre. And what most grievous? Pam. Sickness. Chre. What is the best substance of a syllogism? Pam. Truth. Chre. And what the best proof of a good wit? Pam. To maintain it. Chre. Thou sayest well, but I fear I trouble thee with to many questions, and therefore not to try thee too much, I will only tell thee a word or two, of my opinion of the world, and so we will go into supper. Pam. I thank you sir: I shall be glad to hear it, and hope, not hastily to forget it. Chre. I will tell thee: I think the world, a maze of wit, a walk of will, a trouble of reason, a poison of nature, an enemy of rest, a labour of man, a Laborinthe of time, a wilderness of creatures, and a pilgrimage of patience: where the wise govern best, and the wicked thrive most, the rich have most power, and the poor most misery: where pride makes her triumph, vanity sells her wares, folly hunts after fortune, and honour follows wealth: where children have long breeding, Women bring charge, & men Travail toward death: Learning breeds study, Art breeds labour, and Sickness weakness: the Sea is dangerous, the Air infectious, the earth laborious, and the fire is terrible: In sum, no felicity in it nor happiness, but to leave it, & therefore, when thou hast as well past it as I, and knowest it as I do, Coelum virtutis patria, et non est hic mihi mundus: Heaven is virtues Country, and here is no world for me: but for that thou art young, and some things are to be done in this world (I hope) before thou shalt go out of it, I will first provide for thy content in the happy course of thy wished comfort, & then leave thee to the heavenly contemplation of thy spirits happiness: but I see my servant coming towards us; the messenger of my stomachs attendance, and the Sun is toward his declination, and therefore for this time I will trouble thee no further, but only rejoice in thy happy health, and that I have heard from thee: I see it is even supper time, and therefore let us away. Pam. I will wait upon you. FINIS. Imprinted at London for Edward White, and are to be sold at his Shop near the little North-door of S. Paul's Church, at the Sign of the Gun. 1605.