THE PISSE-PROPHET, OR, CERTAIN PISSPOT LECTURES. Wherein are newly discovered the old fallacies, deceit, and juggling of the Pisspot Science, used by all those (whether Quacks and Empirics, or other methodical Physicians) who pretend knowledge of Diseases, by the Urine, in giving judgement of the same.  
By THO. BRIAN, M. P. lately in the City of London, and now in Colchester in ESSEX. Never heretofore published by any man in the English Tongue.  
Si populus vult decipi, decipiatur.  
LONDON, Printed by E. P. for R. Thrale, and are to be sold at his shop at the sign of the Crosskeys, at Paul's gate. 1637.   

THE PREFACE, To the Right Honourable, right Worshipful, whether more or less dignified, who have been or hereafter may be my Patients, as also to the courteous or discourteous Reader.  
YOur Honour, Worship, or other Worthiness whatsoever (good Reader) hath often heard it spoken from the mouth of many a well-read and experienced man in Physic, That (Vrina est meretrix, vel mendax) the Urine is an Harlot, or a Liar; and that there is no certain knowledge of any Disease to be gathered from the Urine alone, nor any safe judgement to be exhibited by the same: You have been (likewise) often told, by Physicians, that it were far better for the Physician to see his Patient once than to view 〈…〉 (who tell you so) to entertain the Urine as the only Index and discoverer of Diseases to prono●●●● their opinion of the 〈…〉 Disease by it, and to accept of being accounted skilful 〈…〉 learned Physicians 〈…〉 written dive●s Tracts therein 〈…〉 dangers of taking Physic 〈…〉 sight of the 〈…〉 dispossess men of that fond opinion, of a Physicians discerning diseases by it, wherewith they have been so long time deluded. To this purpose hath Dr Cotta written a Book (called, A short discovery of the unobserved dangers of several sorts of ignorant and (inconsiderate practisers of Physic in England) wherein, amongst other Tracts of the 〈◊〉 abusers of Physic, he hath written one Tractate of the Conjectours by Urines: therein showing the falsehood, and 〈◊〉 judgement of Diseases by the Urine. He hath also therein set down the ingenuous confession of a dying Physician (made to him being then present with him some three or four days before his departure) 〈◊〉, who, being requested to commend unto 〈…〉 that skill by which he had been so 〈◊〉 admired and esteemed, for judging 〈◊〉 to be with child by their Urine, made this answer. I have (saith he) long with the felicity of a good opinion exercised it, and with tried certainty know it to be uncertainty, and certain deceit: It is therefore unworthy posterity, and the name of Art. Read the Tract above mentioned, and you shall see this confession further amplified. If you please to take my confession too, you shall have it: I for mine own part have been so fortunate herein, that I have seldom failed an my predictions of determining a woman to be with child by the Urine, as I have made them believe, when the messenger hath been able to certify me of the state of the Woman's body, and could answer me to certain other questions touching other signs of conception. Above all the rest, I was once magnified by a Counselor's wife for this cunning cozenage (I am not ashamed to term it so) at a festival meeting at Canterbury, in the presence of two (as I take it) other Doctors of Physic: She told them to their faces that I was the cunningest Doctor in all the Town, for I had told her by her water that she was with child, and just how long it was since she conceived of it▪ But had the woman showed me (that brought it) no more than the Urine did, I should scarce have adventured to have pronounced her to have been with child: Yet I might (knowing the Gentlewoman, how long it was since she had a child, and the distance that she commonly kept in childbearing, as also that she nursed her children herself) have pronounced her, and that upon some probable conjecture, to have been with child, though the messenger could not have answered me to such interrogatives (as we use to demand of them before we pronounce a woman to be with child) nor the Urine show (as it doth not) any thing concerning conception at all. I dare say, that the good Gentlewoman is very confident that I determined her to be with child by the sight of her Urine only, because I did not intimate any thing to the contrary: Neither is she to be so much blamed for her credulity, as I for my juggling. But to make her and other good women amends (whom I have thus beguiled) I have in this ensuing Tract set down the fallacies, by which I judged her, and every other Physician doth judge every other woman to be with child; as also, by which we give judgement of the Disease, Sex, and the like, seeming to do it only by the Urine: which have not heretofore been published (though too much practised of most) by any man in the English tongue. Doctor Hart (in his Book entitled The Anatomy of Urines) hath by sufficient argument and demonstration, confuted the Pisse-Canons, or Conjectures of Urines, taken from the several accidents of the same (as the several colours, parts, contents, substance, quantity, smell) and showed their falsehood in all these, and the many absurdities that have been committed by pretending knowledge of Diseases by all these; I thought it likewise fit to set down the fallacies; by which judgement of Diseases is given by the Urine, to the end that the writings of other men (who have written against this base custom of Water-prophesying) may gain the more credit, and for the further satisfaction of such as yet remain doubtful whether there be any judgement to be taken from the Urine sufficient to determine the disease. To this end therefore I have set down the fallacies which have upheld this custom of prating, and predicating strange things by the Urine: And I have penned them in the English tongue, because that mere Englishmen (I mean the common people) who understand English only, are and ever have been most subject to be deceived 〈◊〉 deluded. I hope therefore that no Artist will be offended hereat, for I dare say that there is no ingenuous man, but is of mine opinion, and would as gladly (as I myself) that this base custom, of Lecturing upon the Urine, were overthrown and abrogated. What I have therefore done to this purpose, I entreat the courteous Reader to accept in as good part, as I have been willing to impart the same: And for as much as I have been guilty of this fraud, though I have not long used it, let it suffice that it repenteth me of the same, for I mean never hereafter to show my cunning, or rather cozening, upon the water, and hope that other men will help to beat down this custom, or else all that I have written will be to little purpose. However it will some thing delight the understanding and impartial Reader, and might profit the ignorant, if they ●ould make use of it to that end for which it 〈◊〉 penned. As for the style, and method of 〈◊〉 it is poor and mean; but such as best 〈◊〉 with such a poor, base, and stinking 〈◊〉 I have been enforced a little beyond my 〈◊〉 nature, and disposition, to be somewhat 〈…〉 in lecturing upon the Urine, for which cause I may incur censure of the graver and more modest people: If I have herein offended, I crave their pardon, for I could not well avoid it: And let them not tax me of levity, or lasciviousness, for my life and conversation hath, and shall for ever testify the contrary. Howbeit I can claim no privilege from backbiters, nor immunity from malignant tongues; I refuse to be tried by a prejudicated opinion, or the malignant spirit of contradiction; and appeal unto the learned, judicious, and impartial Reader, to whom (if I have erred) for it is Humanum errare) I submit for censure; if need be, for correction. And for as much as (I fear) that the greatest detractours that I shall find (though it be an old saying that the Arts, Nullum habent inimicum praeter ignorantem, have no enemy but the ignorant man) are offenders in this kind; I admonish you (brother Pisse-Prophet) that you be not too busy in playing the Critic upon me, because I have (in confessing mine own folly) reproved your wickedness, which you will hardly forsake. As for the censure of the ignorant (whom you help to retain in this prejudicated opinion) I regard it not. Hos oblatrantes caniculos cum contemptu, 〈…〉 I psse by these barking Curs (as the lion doth) with 〈◊〉 But if you 〈◊〉 (whose galled back i have rubbed, and whose sore I have lanced) who are conscious to yourself of your own guiltiness herein, I shall rub harder and lance deeper: and yet (if you kick overmuch) I shall find a Lash to quiet you. I pray therefore let me have your good word, lest you need mine. And so in hope that the learned, judicious, and impartial Reader will pardon my errors, and that the ignorant Reader will become wiser, and that the delinquent Reader will become honester, I rest▪  
Yours, T. B.   
The Pisse-prophet.  

CHAP. I.  
Wherein is showed the error of the common people (who think that Diseases are to be discerned by the Urine) and the fallacies of the Physician, who intimate the same unto them: As also, what is to be considered of the Physician before he pronounce his judgement of an Urine.  
THE vulgar sort are so strongly prepossessed (by reason of their ignorance) that Physicians can discern (by the Urine) the Disease, the conception, the sex, the party's age, with many other such absurdities, that I fear it will be an hard matter to dispossess them of that opinion. And Physicians (the more too blame they) have intimated and pretended this knowledge unto them so far, as that they will hardly acknowledge their errors, and relinquish this basery: But when it shall appear that the Urine is altogether 〈…〉 shall be showed and set forth by me in this ensuing Discourse: Let the ignorant choose whether he will believe his lying oracle or no, and let the Physician choose whether he will be honester than to use such deceit. Yet (I hope) the one will blush to have been so deluded, and the other to have his conjecturing discovered. And now me thinks you long to hear how it is (the Urine giving no certain knowledge of any Disease in the world) that Piss mongers (for they deserve not the name of a Physician that pretend knowledge of Diseases by it) do give judgement of it, and make thee believe that they discern Diseases by it, than the which nothing in the world is more false. But would you so fain know how this can be? Why thus it is, for I will now hold you no longer in expectation; I must therefore give unto your special consideration two things, (and then I will descend to all the particular Quillets and fallacies that deceive the ignorant) used in the contemplation and beholding of an Urine, which make a man presume to give judgement of Diseases by it. Observe now with me, that the two things to be considered are these; namely, that Diseases are either acute, 
The differences of diseases.  sharp, and violent, as the Pleurisy, Peripneumonia (which is the Apostumation, and inflammation of the Lungs) the Frenzy, Iliaca Passio, the small Pox, Pestilence, and every sharp Fever: Or else diseases: they are 〈…〉: (that is of continuance) 〈…〉 such as proceed from the ill temperature of the humours and disposition of the constitution of the body, such as are the Consumption, Dropsy, Melancholy. 〈◊〉 Palsy. Falling Sickness, Chachexia (which is a depravation of the humours of the body, where by it taketh away, in man or woman, the appear from meat makes the body unfit for exercise, and mars the liveliness of the spirit and countenance) and this disease in women is commonly called the Green Sickness, and it makes both men and women Green indeed. But (to omit all circumstances that may be) the Physician always bears these two considerations in m●●de. namely, that diseases are either Acute, Sharp, and Violent, or chronical, and of continuance, and more gentle, as aforesaid, etc. Now, for the most part, the common sort of people come 〈◊〉 send their Waters unto Physicians for Acute, Sharp, and Violent diseases: as the Countryman or Handycrafts-man (who use to labour) for some Surfeit (as they call it) taken by carching cold (as they think) after sweeting at their several labours, and your better sort of people (as they think themselves, because they use no labour) for a Surfeit taken by idleness, as sitting in the Sun, walking, sporting, drinking of Wine, eating over much or such meat as their stomach hath not well digested, and the like. 
The nature of a sharp disease.  You must likewise note, that every sharp disease hath an hot and burning Fever joined with it, and that the Urine (for the most part) in a burning Fever is of an intense high red colour; and this colour; amongst all the other uncertain signs of Urine (which seem to show a disease, to put a difference between sharp and chronical diseases, and to discover a Fever only) is the most certain of all other, and yet uncertain in itself. Such a Urine being brought unto a Physician to cast (as they call it) and being of a red high colour (as I said before) he presently conceives it to be a sharp and violent disease, 
How the Physician judgeth of such diseases by the Urine▪  and then knows for certain, that there is a Fever joined with it; so he is now quickly prepared to give his judgement of it, and needs now to do no more, but to give a description of a Fever, to make the messenger believe that he perceives the disease in the Water; but yet he comes to the true knowledge of the disease, by some such par●y and expostulation had with the messenger, as shows the symptoms and affects of the sick party (though he seem to have named them in the description of the disease to the messenger) which truly determine the disease: and then he names the disease, looking upon the Water (as if it were there to be found) in such manner as shall be hereafter showed; which makes the messenger to believe so indeed. Now the description of a Fever (and indeed one description will serve for any Fever, and for all sharp and violent diseases) is but to reckon up the Symptoms and signs of a Fever (the which we know before that ever we look upon the Water) which are these: namely; great oppression of the stomach by choler, or some other humour, which causeth want of appetite to meat: 
Signs of a sharp disease.  oppilation and obstruction of the liver and spleen, causing great heat (which causeth great drought, and much desire of drink) causing great pain in the head and back, which likewise causeth want of sleep and rest, from whence proceedeth (oftentimes) raving, frantic doting senseless and idle talk. Now to say that the sick party is this affected (for indeed so they are for the most part in every respect, but at the least in some kind, in every violent disease) makes the messenger to think, that the Doctor doth perceive (that the party is so affected) by the Urine which (by Yea and by Nay) is no such matter: for he dares not always trust to this high red Urine, 
That a high and red coloured Urine is not always one infallible sign of a Fever.  as an insallible sign of a Fever; for it may chance to be of such a colour by some other accident, when the party that made it, is free from a Fever. But admit that the high red colour of the Urine did always (as it doth for the most part) import a Fever, yet the Symptoms and companions of a Fever (as heat, drought, thirst, pain in the head, want of sleep, oppression of stomach, want of appetite, oppilation of the liver and spleen, or any one of these) are not therein to be seen, though it please his worship to play the Antic with the Water, pretending that there are such marks in it, as show all these things that I have named. Neither doth he presume to name these Symptoms (as heat, drought, thirst, etc.) from any signs thereof in the Urine, but for that he knoweth by daily experience, that the forenamed Symptoms and companions of a Fever (as heat, drought, thirst, etc.) are necessary consequences, and inseparable concomitants of a Fever: And yet (oh the pride of man, in seeming to be what he is not!) the Pisse-Prophet doth pretend, that he perceiveth all these things in the Water. These things being premised, I hope thou wilt be the better able to judge of that which followeth, and perceive how easy a thing it is to give judgement of diseases by the Urine (though it be not there to be seen) and wilt conceive the fallacies that uphold this custom, and so learn to put a difference between an honest learned plain-dealing Physician and a prating Empirick, and a Rogue. I will now (for this once) imagine myself to be one of them and, to be in my Chamber or Study ready addressed to come forth, to give my judgement upon that high red Water (that importeth a Fever, and so a violent disease) that I last spoke of, and will plainly show you (by the examination of three such several Urines, brought by three several messengers) in three several Chapters, how to give judgement of all acute, sharp, and violent diseases, by the last description of the Symptoms of a burning Fever.   

CHAP. II.  
What manner of persons your Pisse-messengers are, how they are handled, deluded, and made to show how the sick party is affected, and yet to believe that the Doctor perceiveth the Disease by the Urine.  
I Have here already such a Messenger (attending my leisure to give my judgement upon such a Urine) who, being conducted to my presence, salves my worship with good morrow Master Doctor, and indeed the morning is the most usual and fit time for the viewing of Urines: The Quean at Darkin hath gotten that Art, that she would not prophesy thereof after eleven of the clock: And having thus saluted me, presents me the Urine, saying, Sir I desire your opinion of this water, and to tell me (though the sick party know that too too well already) what the party aileth, and what the Disease is; the messenger (whether man or woman) you must note, is one who is, as it were, made out of wax, whom a Physician cannot deceive (neither would he if he could) nor yet learn any thing out of him touching the Disease, unless he himself first have named it, and yet he will make a shift to mould him into any form● that shall fit his purpose best, and make him by impertinent questions (as he shall think) to tell him any thing, concerning the sick party, that he shall desire to know, and yet (like Hocus Pocus who makes his ignorant spectators to think that the Balls are under the Cups, though he have conveyed them away by sleight of hand, and when they see that, to deem him a Conjurer) to think that he hath discovered nothing, and me to be a skilful Physician and an honest man, when as indeed there is no such matter; for neither is Hocus Pocus a Conjurer, though by his nimble conveyance he have deluded his silly beholder, or so much a knave as they think him, because he hath not done it by any unlawful assistance; neither am I so skilful a Physician, though I have made the messenger believe that I perceive strange things by the Water, because I do but deceive the messenger; nor so honest a man as I am esteemed, though I carry the matter very fair, because I do not ingenuously confess to the messenger, and so to every body else when I shall have occasion to discourse about it, that there is no certain judgement of any disease by the Urine, but out of pride pretend knowledge of diseases by it, and to back this knowledge blush not to use such deceit and fallacies as hereafter follow. But now to return to the Urine from the Physician and the fool, 
The manner of the proceeding of Vrine-gasers.  the Messenger: This Urine, if brought out of the Country, is for the most part in a glasse-bottle, but (if ones in the City) it is brought in an Urinal; it is likewise red and high of colour, and that (for the most part) be tokeneth a Fever. I now therefore (before that ever I can pour the water out of the bottle, or take the Urinal out of the Case) rip up all the Symptoms of a Fever, and say, This party hath a great oppression of stomach and no appetite to meat, a great oppilation and obstruction of the Liver and Spleen, is very hot and dry, desireth much to drink, hath a great pain in the head and can take no rest, and was taken in the manner of an Ague with a grooving in the back and pain in the head, first cold and then hot, reckoning up all these things (as if I saw them there so soon as ever I look into the water) so fast as ever I can make my tongue belie my heart. And with this description I have made the messenger admire my readiness and skill in judging of Urines, and he verily believes that I have espied these things in the water; but it is far otherwise; for these things (that I have reckoned up) are but the usual Symptoms and companions of a Fever, and the most of them are joined with every Fever, and all of them and many more at once are complicate with many a Fever. These things being so, I cannot but have hit the nail on the head, for some of those Symptoms that I have reckoned up, must needs accompany the disease; and when I have once named them, the messenger presently answers, that the party is just so affected as I have said: But (as yet) I have not named the disease, and perhaps omitted something which is expected that I should have named: and the messenger is as ready then to ask me if I perceive nothing else by the water, as I was to pronounce my judgement of it before: To whom I answer, yes if you will give me leave to tell you; and then perchance asks me if I do not perceive a stitch, and whether the party have not a Pleurisy, I answer (looking upon the water as if it were there to be perceived) yes I well perceive the stitch, and some cough too; and I say, that when the cough takes the party, the party is much pained in the side; and for as much as I did not name the stitch at first, I tell the messenger that we use first to declare the cause of the disease before we come to every passion or affect of the disease, or before we name it: I further add that I was not yet come to speak of the stitch (no nor should never have found it out of the water, had not the messenger bolted it out) because I had named the cause thereof, namely, the oppression of the stomach and obstruction of the Spleen, and mesentery, and that the stitch was nothing else but a flatuous and windy humour proceeding from thence to the place affected; so now I determine the disease to be (as they suppose) a Pleurisy; And indeed they can better define their own diseases by the Symptoms and passions that they suffer, than any Physician can do by the water only. But now as I have been happy in my predictions of the disease, and rightly determined it to be (as it is indeed) a Pleurisy; so now I must proceed to the prescription (as it is required) of such remedies as may cure this Pleurisy: And now I am here as far to seek (though I know the disease to be a Pleurisy) as if I knew not the disease at all, nor had seen the Urine, because I do not therein perceive the scope and grounds of prescribing fit remedies (according to the rules of Art) in every respect proper to the disease; 
Indication of curing.  The which scope and grounds are these (namely) the party's age, the sex, the constitution of the body, and the strength of it at this time, with diverse other accidents, as whether the party be bound in his body, or have a flux and scouring, or the like: All the which nor any one of them can be discerned by the Urine, & yet I must find them there if the messenger refuse to tell me (but that they seldom refuse to do after that I have given them a description of the disease, and showed them in some part how the party is affected) or else I must needs err in my prescription; for if I should prescribe (not knowing the age of the party) such a quantity of blood to be taken away from a young youth (suppose ten or twelve ounces) in a Pleurisy, which is the disease in hand, as should be taken from a man in his full strength, the party might perish thereby; or if I should take but four or five ounces of blood from a lusty young man (in this disease) at his full strength, I should do him no good, and so he might perish on the other side: I might likewise err in the dose, if (not knowing the party's age) I should prescribe more or less than were proportionable to the party's age in prescribing purging Potions or Clysters in this case; I might likewise commit no less error if (not knowing the sex) I should in the forenamed disease prescribe blood-letting to a woman, her natural courses being broke forth upon her; for I might by that accident expect a solution of the disease without blood-letting. I might likewise err, if (knowing the sex) I should prescribe purging Physic for a woman in this case (not knowing whether she be with child or no) of such a quality as might cause her to miscarry: I might err concerning the constitution of the body if I should (not knowing the same) prescribe that for a weakly constitution of body which were fitter for a robustuous and strong constitution: and so on the contrary. I might likewise err if I should (not knowing the strength of the body at this time) prescribe too strong a Potion, or too much blood to be taken away, when the disease hath overcome the strength and the party is too much debilitated, or if I should prescribe too gentle a potion, or too little blood to be taken away when the strength is not yet dejected, but stands in equal contestation with the disease. I could show a thousand ways more how I could err, and how most Physicians do err that prescribe Physic by the sight of the Urine only: But my intent is to show how many thousand ways I could deceive thee and make thee believe that I discern all these things by the Urine (as thou thinkst I do) namely the disease, the party's age, sex, strength, constitution of body, and the like: I have therefore digressed herein from my purpose (since my intent was not to show the errors that are committed by such as pretend knowledge of diseases by the Urine, but to show the fallacies and juggling that they use in giving judgement of it) and so frustrated thy expectation of this dainty Art; but I hope it shall be to thy profit, for thou shalt hereby be the better able to give thy Physician such instructions as he shall require, and shalt perceive the danger of taking Physic prescribed by the sight of the Urine only: And now to the purpose indeed; but first imagine with me, that the last messenger, having received good satisfaction by the description of the party's disease for whom he came, was ready to certify me of all the forenamed circumstances that were requisite for me to inquire of, as the party's age, sex, constitution of body, present strength, how long the party had been sick, etc. And I have sent him away with 
Medicaments for a Pleurisy.  such remedies as were most proper for his Pleurisy, directions for blood-letting to mitigate his Fever, some pectoral Physic to ease his cough, with a Lineament to mollify, and to dispel wind, to anoint his side withal for his stitch, and wish him to repair unto me again within a day or two to certify me of the success of the Physic, and how the party stands now affected, that if need require, I may supply him with further advice. Now in all this (I hope) I have not erred, save only that I forgot to tell the messenger that the party was very dangerously sick, and would hardly recover, but yet I have prescribed him the best means that can, by the art of man, be for his recovery, and I pray God to give his blessing, and so I have quite dispatched this messenger. And now whether the party live or dye I shall be sure to be magnified for my skill; if he die, for that my predictions prove true; and if he live, for that I recovered him of so dangerous a disease. And now I am ready to encounter with the next messenger, who likewise brings me another Urine of an high red colour, in giving judgement upon which I will plainly show how a man may give judgement of all other sharp and violent diseases by the water (though it do not certainly show any Symptoms of any disease, which determine the same) and how thou shalt get out of the messenger every circumstance necessary to the judging and determining of a disease, as the age, sex, and strength of the party, and to the guiding of a man in prescribing of fit remedies, and yet he shall not perceive but that thou findest them in the Urine; Sed hoc est decipere, non judicare; but this is to juggle, and not to judge.   

CHAP. III.  
The craftiest messengers must be the more craftily handled: the action and gesture of the Physician in giving judgement of an Urine: that we come to the knowledge of the disease, and sex by impertinent questions (as they think) 〈◊〉 to the messengers, and not by the Urine: the cunning tricks that Physicians have to make the messengers confident of their (falsely) pretended skill; and the flammes that they have to evade censure, if they chance to err in the pronouncing of their judgement.  
SUppose this next messenger to be some Nurse or tender of sick persons, who is commonly versed, and accustomed in carrying sick folk's Urines unto Physicians; and she salute me, with Master Doctor, I have brought you a Water, and desire your opinion of it: and now I am like to have a hard task of it, and to be so put to my trumps, that (if I play not my cards sure) I shall lose the set, miscarry in my judgement, be accounted a dunce, and lose my patient for ever; but I will be aware of that, I warrant you. I now therefore take this carfty wench to do, 
How crafty messengers may be deceived.  and I will handle her as craftily; I take the Urinal of her, and bid her come from the door of my Parlour, Study, or Chamber (where they commonly stand,) unto the window, or light, where I commonly give my oracle; and indeed, a man had need of a good light, and a better sight, that shall perceive all these things that I must find out of this Urine. Being come to the light (as I am uncafing the Urinal to look upon it,) I ask the Nurse a question, not whose water it is (for that she is enjoined, any conjured, not to tell me, especially if it be a woman's, nor any thing else, unless I first find it out of the water) but my question is; How long the party hath been sick; And she out of modesty and good manners, can do no less but answer me to this question, for she thinks this question to be but words of course, and that I can gather nothing from hence touching the party's disease; and so she answers me a week, a fortnight, two or three days, or more or less. But from hence I collect and have strong presumptions that it is an acute disease; and if she say, A fortnight, I shall think it to be only an acute disease and of the less danger, unless there have another Physician been employed already, the which I shall be sure to know, and if there have, I shall go near to strike his nose out of joint, and gain the patient to myself, and then (if I recover him) I shall get immortal fame; but if he chance to die, I will make a shift to shuffle off the disgrace upon my brother Doctor, for that (as I will say) such and such means were not used at the first, though haply he have used as good a thode as myself could have done: But if she say that the party hath been sick a week, I shall think it is a more acute disease, whether there have another Physician been employed or no. But if she say three or four days, I then presume that it is a most sharp disease, and now I will so plant and interest myself in the party, as that I will prevent another's coming there, unless it be to a person of quality, and then I will be as ready to desire another Physician to be called, as the sick party shall be to request it, not so much that I desire his aid, or would have him partake with me in the booty, as in the disgrace, if the party should chance to die. And now I know (by this question, as also the Water, being high and red, witnessing the same) that it is an Acute disease: And now I take the Urinal in my hand, and hold it up to the light, and (looking very little upon it) I shake it together, and set it down very artificially in the window asloop, as if I meant to inquire further of it anon, and that it must stand so a while; and indeed it must stand so a while, and I must look but lightly upon it at first, or else I shall not have so good an evasion if I err never so little, nor so fit an opportunity to propound another question to the setting me forward in the pronoucing of my opinion, or to the inquiry of some other circumstance (necessary to the guiding me in prescribing fit remedies) as the party's Age, Sex, Strength, and the like, for this wench will be sure to hold me to my text. And now go along with me still, and conceive with me that it is asharp disease (as appeareth by her answer) and that I have no sooner asked her how long the party hath been sick, and set down the Urinal in the window (as I said before) but that I presently say, This party hath a great oppression of Stomach, no appetite to meat, with a great oppilation of the Liver and Spleen, is very hot, desireth much to drink, hath a great pain in the head, and can take no rest, and was taken in the manner of an Ague (as they call it) with a grooving in the back, and pain in the head, first cold and then hot, as I said in giving my judgement upon the last Urine; and indeed this description will serve for any acute disease, whether it be the Pleurisy, the small Pox or Maisels, a fit of the stone in the Kidneys, the Squinancy, Frenzy, Iliaca Passio, the Arthritis, or what other sharp disease soever, 
Why uniformity in judging is not to be used.  wherewith there is a Fever always complicate, or whether it be a simple Fever which is primarily the disease itself; but yet I will not always use the same description to all comers, because diverse messengers may come to a Physician, and may stay for companies sake to go away together, and might fall to questioning with each other what the Doctor said unto them, and so might think (if I should use the same description unto them all) that I could say nothing else. I therefore vary my description of the disease, and am sometimes shorter in the same, and then (if I find by expostulation with the messenger that I have omitted any thing that I should have spoken of) I say that it proceeded from such a cause as I had already named, and that I should have come to speak of that anon; I am sometimes likewise larger in my description, as I am here in relating how the party is affected, for whom this Nurse comes: and she is as ready to take me up for the same, and says, that it is true indeed, that the party can take no rest, hath no appetite to meat, and was taken (as I said) in the manner of an Ague, but complains not of her stomach at all, but cries out, My head, my head, and complains altogether of want of rest; To whom I reply, that the pain in the head is the chief of the passions that the party is affected withal, but yet that it proceeded from the oppression of the stomach, and oppilation of the Liver and Spleen, which being obstructed, send a choleric fume unto the brain, which infiame the Animal spirits, and cause this pain which hindered rest, and that (if rest were not caused) it would make the party rave, be frantic, and burst forth into senseless, and idle talk. Thus having answered this objection, I now begin to touch the Urinal, to see if it have settled enough, but finding it not to have settled enough to my purpose, and to show me those things that I must find out of it, I set it down again very tenderly, saying, it must yet settle alittle better; and then I fall to questioning with the Nurse concerning something that may show me the sex, for I must find that out of the water too; And now I ask her, what the party useth to do in the time of health, and this is a question that may (she thinks) as well be answered without giving me any light of the sex, as the former question (which was, How long the party had been sick) of giving me any light of the disease; but you shall hear what I collect from thence. She answers, I demanding what the party useth to do, that the party useth to do little, save only to go up and down the house, to work about the house, to walk up and down abroad, to keep a shop, to labour, or the like; and from all these I have my several collections. Now if she say, that the party useth to do little, save only to go up and down the house, I presume that it is the Mistresses of the house, or the good-wifes', or one of their daughters, or some Gentlewoman in the house, but for certain, that it is a woman's water, or a maids, for they should, and commonly do (if their shoes be not made of running leather) keep their house, and their work is to walk up and down the house; but if she say, the party useth to do such work as is to be done in or about the house, it is most likely that it is a maid-servant, but if she say to walk abroad, I then presume that it is a man's water, and that it may be the Master of the house, or his sons, or some other Gentlemen, whose work and employment is only to walk abroad and take his pleasure; but if she say, to keep a shop, I suppose it to be the Masters thereof, or an he Apprentice his; or if she say, that the party useth to labour, I imagine it to be a manservant, or some hired labouring man's; so by her answer to this question, namely, what the party useth to do in the time of health, I discern the sex. And now I take the Urinal again in my hand (for by this time it hath stood long enough to settle) and now I say that it is a woman's water, suppose that her answer to my question (What the party used to do in the time of health) did infer as much, that she hath a burning Fever, is so dangerously sick that she will hardly recover, unless such and such speedy means be used, and yet that All will scarce do; and this danger I will always pretend in every Violent disease, though there be no deadly sign at all; but not to the sick parties (for that they cannot endure to hear of) but secretly to the messenger, or some near friend, or by-stander, if I be present with them; and than if the party live. I shall not so much as have my judgement called in question, for saying the party would die, but be magnified for that I have recovered her of a dangerous disease; nay, to be sure to be happy in my predictions and prognostics concerning the life and death of my Patients (for they must always have a hint of that, although the thought of death be an unwelcome guest) I will deliver mine opinion both ways; I will threaten, or rather pretend the danger of death to the sick party (if my opinion be desired,) with a But if such and such means be used, you may haply recover: and to some by-stander or hanger on, I will secretly whisper that there is no danger at all: or else I will promise life to the Patient, which is altogether wished, and threaten death to some other inquisitor: and thus was a learned Doctor in Physic over-matched by a meaner Practicant in Physic, at Ashford in Kent who used this policy in his prognostics. I have for mine own part and office, herein delivered myself well enough to this Nurse in my prognostics concerning the event of the woman's sickness, for whom she is come: I have told her how the woman is affected, what the disease is, and what will be the event; and the Nurse is reasonable well satisfied herewith, but yet I have omitted something, that she will be sure to tell me of, for since she hath undertaken the matter, she will not go without her errand. So, now she asks me if I perceive nothing else by the water, and I imagine well enough what it is else that I should perceive by it, for when that question is propounded, it is to know whether the woman be with child or no: to whom I answer, that there are many more things to be perceived by the water (but not at all times) as whether a woman were with child or no, which is that you look for; but it is no now to be seen in this water, because her body is all out of temper, and her water troubled and discoloured, but yet I think her to be, and well I may, if she herself think so; I further tell her, that I could have certainly told, (but yet I lie,) if she had brought her water in the time of her health: and so she is satisfied for that matter, and confesseth that she is with child indeed. Having thus satisfied her in all these things, told her that it is a woman's water, in what manner she was sick, what was her disease, that it was likely that she was with child (which proves true) and that she would scarce recover (which is no great matter whether she do or no) I now begin to close with her, and ask her whose water it is; but she will not tell me, and commend her for it, for she was forbid, and therefore hath vowed the contrary; and indeed she was sent only to hear mine opinion of the water, the which, if she like, shall haply hear further from the party, but if not, she hath order to go to another Pisse-Prophet, and so if she like not his opinion neither, from him to another, until she come to him that hits the disease rightest (as she conceives) by the water, and he (I dare say, the most fool and knave of all the three) is the man that shall be made choice of to cure this woman; and this is thought great policy in making choice of an able Physician. It behoves me therefore to be my craft's master in this Art, for else you see here how I am like to be nosed of a Patient, and to have my skill called in question; for (if I cannot find the disease by the water) they will soon conclude that I know not how to cure it. This Nurse tells me indeed (but if she had not told me, I should have perceived it) that she came to hear mine opinion of the water, and that the sick party would send to me again, when she had heard (she should have said, If she liked it) what was mine opinion, and I think I have fitted her, and now tell the Nurse, that it had been fitter they had sent for some present remedies, than to know the disease, or to hear mine opinion of it, so I hast her away with her oracle, bid her be sure to deliver it so as I had told her, and tell (but not to the sick party) to some of her near friends, how dangerously she is sick, and that I would (if she think good to make use of me) use the best means to recover her that Art could lead me unto; and now I bid her make all the haste that may be, but yet (before I let her go) I thus bespeak her; in faith Nurse, I commend thee that thou wilt do thy errand handsomely, and make a Physician find the disease out of the water, and not be gulled (to tell how the party was affected) as many a fool would have done, but I hope I have showed thee truly how the party is affected, and what is her disease, and given thee such satisfaction as will content them that sent thee: lo therefore here is for thy pains, because thou hast put me to it so handsomely, and so I give her, (fearing lest I should have erred, that she may maintain my credit, and in hope of receiving a better fee, for being sent for) the cracked groat, or the Harry groat that was sent in stead of six pence, for casting this water; nay, if it chance to be six pence indeed, she shall have it all, and so I shall be sure to have my message well done, and perhaps she will tell me that which she denied before; but if not, she will magnify me for my skill, and I shall be sure to hear further from the party, and have the casting of all the waters that she can bring me; so I now send her away and laugh at her, and the Devil at us both: I laugh at her because I have cozened her, and the Devil, that he hath cozened us both, by making her to believe that I discern all those things by the water that I told her, and making me to back my pretended knowledge by such fallacies. But do not now imagine that I have been so long in hand with this Nurse, in giving judgement of this Urine, as I have been in penning the circumstances with the several actions and gestures that I use in the examination of a Piss pot, 
The diversity of actions to be used in giving judgement from the Urine.  which I have set down to help thy understanding, or so long as thou hast been in reading them; but that (as if she had been but now new come in) I take the Urinal of her, propound the first question, set down the Urinal in the window, and pronounce a description of the disease: then propounding the other questions in order (as I have done before) define or determine the disease, tell her that such and such means ought suddenly to be used, and so send her away; suppose therefore that she came but newly in, and is but now new gone out, and so I have done with her, and sent her away in a trice, and am ready for the next comer. But stay here a little, let that messenger tarry, and conceive with me how one may give his judgement of any sharp disease by the water, (though it be not there to be seen,) in pronouncing my judgement upon this last Urine, for I cannot stand to instance upon many particulars: mark therefore the description that I gave to the Nurse of the last disease, which I determined to be a Fever, after that I perceived by the Nurse's answer to my first question (which was, how long the party had been sick) that it was a sharp disease; 
The Symptoms of a sharp disease.  now my description was this; that the party had a great oppression of stomach and no appetite to meat, a great oppilation of the Liver and Spleen, was very hot, desired much to drink, had a great pain in the head, and could take no rest, and was taken in the manner of an Ague with a pain in the head, and grooving in the back, first cold and then hot, the which description may serve for any sharp disease in giving judgement of a water; yet I do not affirm, that in every sharp disease the party is just thus affected in every respect, but for the most part, for if it chance to fail and be excepted against, I have showed, how to make it good to the messenger, and to serve the turn to satisfy him, and not the Physician and practicant in Physic. Mark further, that in describing the disease, and showing how the party is affected, I do not yet define, determine, or name the disease, till I have expostulated with the messenger so far, that I perceive the disease from thence, and have sounded enough out of him, to tell him any thing that he shall desire to know of me; and then I determine the disease to be (as the symptoms, when I have strictly examined them, shall agree with the messengers relation.) A Fever, the small Pox, or Maisels, a Pleurisy, or the like, looking still upon the Urine, as if I found it there, whereas I hope you well perceive my fetches, which help me out, or else Dun might have stuck full fast in the mire. I hope also, that you perceive how easily a man may give his judgement of any other acute disease by the water, though it do not show it; and now a word or two with this other messenger, and then I shall have done with acute, sharp, and violent diseases.   

CHAP. IU.  
The rude simplicity of such as send their Urine unto a Physician without any instructions how the party is affected: And the desperate hazard, that they put their lives in, who adventure to take Physic prescribed only by the sight of the Urine.  
NOw this messenger is as rough-hewed as he that sent him and is a very plain fellow in his holiday Jacket and his busking Hose; he was called from making of Faggots, or from thrashing, to go to the Doctor and carry this Piss that is put up in the Vinegar bottle, and brought to me to judge of; and it is a very turbid water of a very high, dark, red colour, by which as also by the messenger, (for I can better tell, by the messenger, his gesture, time of coming, haste to be gone, and other circumstances, what the party aileth, how long he hath been sick, and whether it be a man's or woman's water, than I or any Physician can do by the Urine, especially if I lived in a Town or City where I had much Country practice) I conceive it to be some Country Farmers, his sons, or man's, his Hubber the hoy which is his man-boy, or half a man and half a boy: But which of them soever it be, he hath borne it out with head and shoulders (for so your Country people use to do before they send to a Doctor) and wrestled so long with the disease, and been so often foiled out, for they do not observe the orders in Moor or Lincolns-Inne fields, where if a man be three times foiled out, it is to stand for a fall, and he is to wrestle no more for that time, as that he can no longer stand, and yet he is to have one bout more with the disease who hath a cruel second in this Duel, even death itself: And now (if nature be not assisted by Art) this fellow, whose second I must be, is like to be put to the worst, and the disease is like to give him a flat fall upon his back in his Grave, never to rise again until the resurrection. Therefore if I have any skill, I must show it now or never: I now therefore take the water to examine it, and think to question with this messenger (as with the former) How long the party hath been sick, whose water it was, and to put him such other questions as might show me such other circumstances which might show me the disease, and guide me in the prescribing fit remedies for the same; but he cannot answer me one question, not whose water it is, nor how long the party hath been sick, no nor whether it be a man's or a woman's water; much less the constitution of the body, the present strength of it at this time, or whether the party be bound or lose in his body, with diverse other such circumstances, all the which are so necessary for me to know, as that without the knowledge thereof I cannot safely prescribe any Physic, and yet this fellow cannot tell me one word, for he saith that he was not told, but was only hired to bring me the water, and to bid me send something to help the party, and hath brought eighteen pence or two shillings with him to pay for that which I shall prescribe or send; and all that he can say, is, that such a man's servant came to him to get him to come, but did not tell him whose water it was, nor how long the party had been sick. And now what, on God's Name, shall I do in this case, for it is presumed that I know the disease by the water, and all other circumstances belonging to the same, which are requisite for to guide me in the prescribing of fit remedies, and I have pretended as much, and holpen to nurse up folks in this folly, (as other Physicians have done before me) by giving my judgement of diseases by the sight of the Urine, and backing my pretended knowledge by such fallacies as I have spoken of, without the which neither I nor any Physician in the world can give any judgement of a disease, nor come to the knowledge of such circumstances (unless the messenger, that brings it, tell us) as may guide us in the prescribing of safe medicines every way proper unto the disease. I must tell you therefore (for mine own part) that I have already, and do for ever hereafter mean to steer a new course; yet I must, for this one time, prescribe for this fellow, who (being all this while out of breath with his last Arthleticke combat, and having caught such a wrinch, (though he played strong play, as that he will go near to fall the next bout) is expected to enter the sands, to revive the quarrel, and to undertake the last encounter. I now therefore take the Urinal (since the messenger can tell me nothing) and look better upon the water, as if I could tell miracles by it, for I must now make all the haste that may be to set him on foot, 
What is to be done, when no instruction can be had from the messenger.  since he is so earnestly expected by his adversary: Now looking upon the water, I perceive it to be very crass, thick, and turbid, in all places alike, of an intense, high, dark, red colour; and from thence I conceive, that according to the fopperous Pisse-maximes, and rules of our great Pisse-prognosticatours, there is a great commixture of superabundant humours, which the substance of it (as they say) being crass, thick, and turbid, showeth; and that nature is not yet able to concoct these humours, for then there would be some separation in the Urine, and it would not be in all places alike, but would have sediment in the bottom, and be transparent in the upper part; I conceive also that he hath a great Fever, for that the colour showeth, being red and high, and that there is great danger, for it is of an high dark red colour, tending to blackness. But yet I cannot tell what manner of Fever it is, for I cannot discern by the Urine (as common people suppose) the passions and affects of the sick party, that determine the disease, and should guide me in the prescribing fit remedies, and therefore I cannot tell whether it be best to let him blood, to give hive him a purging potion, or Clyster, or whether his body would now bear any of these, or whether I were best to give him something to make him sleep, or some cooling Juleb, or some Cordial Antidote to expel noxious humours from the vital parts; now which of these methods I shall best use (for the messenger can tell me nothing) I know not, but however the matter is not great, for the party ventureth but his life, and why should not I adventure my skill against it? I now therefore pronounce the party to be sick of a bastard Pleurisy (for, it is no matter what I say to this messenger,) or a Fever, and that the party would hardly recover, further adding, that he should have been let blood a week ago, and that I feared it would now be too late, but yet I wish it to be done, for if any thing in the world recover him, it must be that; and if that do it, it is but Hab, Nab, but yet however, I must put it in practice; so now I hast away the messenger to get a Chirurgeon to let him blood; and tell him where, and in what quantity it must be done, and now it is a question whether the disease, or the life be let out by this blood-letting: if blood offending in quantity, or corrupt blood (offending in quality) putrified by choler in the lesser veins, be let out, the disease may chance to be let out with it, and so Mors or Death may tarry for a sacrifice, till some other sickness take him upon more advantage. But if the good blood, seeming to be inflamed, be let out, when this Fever proceedeth from choler in the greater veins, or from Phlegm, or other mixed humours in the stomach, Spleen, or Mesentery, which ought to be purged, the life (instead of the disease) may be let out, by loss whereof the debt to God and Nature would be paid. But haply (instead of blood-letting, I prescribe at random, (for so I must do in either) some purging Potion, and so set the disease and a medicine together by the ears & leave the success to fortune. And now whether the party live or die, I care not: for if he die, I have taught them to blame their own negligence, in not sending any sooner; but if Nature be of such for●e, that she be able to withstand the conflict between the disease and the Antidote, and start up, and take part with the Medicine, so that the party recover, I shall have more attributed unto me, (as the only cause of his recovery) than I have deserved, or than to God, who in his providence, had been pleased (by the work of Nature, more than by any skill of mine) to spare and recover him: and thus you use to over-value the means, whereby (as you suppose) you have been recovered, although used so desperately (as I have prescribed for this fellow) by a methodical Physician, professing knowledge of diseases by the Urine, or used quite contrary to the rules of Art, by some rude Empiricke and Quack-salving knave, especially, if you chance to recover; and to undervalue the best means in the world, used by the most grave and learned Physician, if the party chance to die: never satisfying yourselves, when things are so come to pass, that it was God's providence, saying, (sic placuit Domino,) it was Gods will it should be so, and so resting yourselves contented, but still tormenting yourselves further, in thinking that this child, that friend, this brother, or that sister might have been recovered, if the best means had been used, as if God would not have directed thee unto that means, had it not been his will now to take this party unto himself. And now, I hope that you perceive by these few instances, how a man may deceive the wisest messenger that you can send unto a Physician with a water, and show you the disease by the same, although it be not there to be found, and how great danger they put their lives in, that adventure to take Physic prescribed by the sight of the Urine only: and so I have done with all sharp and violent diseases, and am now coming to speak of chronical, lingering, and diseases of continuance, wherein I mean to show you how to give judgement of them by the water, though in those diseases, it show less than in sharp and violent diseases.   

CHAP. V.  
A Recapitulation of those things which have been spoken, touching the giving of judgement of the Urine in Acute and Violent diseases: and a Praecapitulation of some things necessary to be premised touching chronical and diseases of continuance, before we come to the examination of the Pisse-messengers, as we have done in Sharp and Violent diseases.  
AND now, whereas I showed you (before that I came to instance and show my cunning in giving judgement upon Urines in violent diseases) that diseases are either sharp and violent, (the which I have spoke of) or chronical and of continuance, such as I am now to speak of next; and that, in sharp diseases, the Urine is for the most part of an high red colour, and that there is a Fever always joined with every sharp disease; so I showed you that one may give a description how any sick party is affected in any violent disease, by reckoning up the common Symptoms and companions of a Fever (which are oppression of stomach, want of appetite, Heat, Thirst, Pain in the head, want of sleep, etc.) and make the messenger believe that I perceive the disease by the water, because I show how the party is in some kind affected, the which neither I, nor any Physician in the world can perceive in, or by water, but gather by consequence, when we once conceive that it is a violent disease; for than we know that there is a Fever joined, and that there are some of those Symptoms (that I named) joined with it, but yet I do not know what kind of Fever it is, nor what violent disease it is (and therefore I do not name or determine it) until I have expostulated with the messenger, in such manner as I have already showed, and thereby come to the knowledge of some specifical note, or difference, which determine the same.  
I must now likewise give you to understand (before that I come to examine some few Urines, to show you how I give my judgement of chronical diseases) that in chronical diseases (such as are the Drop●e, Gout, Palsy, Falling sickness, Scurvy, French Pox, Green sickness, Malacie, which is the disease of women newly conceived with child, Cough, Headache, Mother, and such like) the Urine is no way faulty, but representeth the Urine of healthful; nay, oftentimes the most healthful men in the world: And yet the Physician (such a Urine being brought unto him) must sentence the party that made it, to be sick, upon no other proof but only this lying strumpet, and false witness (the Urine) suborned by the beguiled and so self-conceited vulgar, and connived at by the Pisse-Justice or Judge, before whom she is brought, who is corrupted for a testar, sometimes for more and sometimes for less, and is contented to accept of her evidence for truth, when he knows it to be a palpable lie that she comes to affirm. She is indeed the dumb messenger between the Doctor and his Patient, who (instead of passing the relation of his disease in writing, or by some discreet messenger) pisseth his mind in his water, and expecteth an answer; but if I should write him an answer in a letter written in the same language, I doubt he would scarce read it. How then shall I do, who must answer his expectation, since the Urine in this case showeth no disease at all? Or what oracle shall I give? Shall I say (such a water being brought unto me) I do not perceive by this water that the party that made it is sick, or aileth any thing: far be it from me for thinking so: If I should return such an honest plain-dealing answer, both the messenger and he that sent him would perceive me to be diseased in my brain, without the casting of my water, and would presently say that I were troubled with the simples: For why (would they say) have I sent or brought this Urine if the party be not sick? Is not this a wise Doctor that cannot tell the Disease by the water? This Doctor shall give me no Physic, for I have gone to such a Doctor (Rogue or Knave you might call him) that hath told me my disease directly by the water, and he shall be my Doctor; and (for me) so let him: And thus you grumble at your Doctor, if he honestly tell you that the Urine doth not certainly show any disease, and begin to examine whose water it is, and how the party is affected, as also the age, sex, constitution of body, the present strength of it, and such other circumstances as should show him (he not seeing the party) the disease, and guide him in the prescribing fit remedies, you presently suspect him of ignorance, and think that he should tell you these things by the Urine. And thus was I lately taxed by a Gossip at East Greensted in Sussex (where I lived and began my practice) because I was strict in examining the state of her body that I might not err in prescribing her something to give her ease of that which she complained of; for it was very suspicious that she was with child, and she pretended that she desired to take something by my prescription, but because I asked her so many questions (the which she thought I should have resolved myself by the water) she would none of mine advise, but reported that I had no skill in waters, and said, I asked her many questions, but could tell her nothing from the water. I spare to name her, yet I wish that she may chance to read this Story, wherein she may perceive that I could have cozened her, that she may blush to think that she was so much a fool, and thank me that I have canonised her for a foole-Saint, by no other name, but the name of a Gosssip and so let her know that I wanted not wit to have deceived her, had not my will been restrained by a better resolution than to use such base deceit (to fit the humours of my Patients) as is used to delude the vulgar, who think that there is no disease nor symptom thereof, belonging to the body of man or woman, but that it may be discerned in the Urine: Yet it is far otherwise, for in these chronical diseases (for the most part) the water seemeth not to import any disease at all, and yet the party is irrecoverably sick: So likewise the Urine is oftentimes of an high red colour, and seemeth to import a violent Fever when the party is not sick at all: It may be also of so good a colour and consistence, in a violent disease, as importeth no disease at all, and yet the party sick unto death: for confirmation whereof, I will give you two or three instances out of mine own experience, and refer you to Doctor Hari for further satisfaction, who in his Book entitled, The Anatomy of Urines, hath set down many examples out of his own observation, as also out of the most ancient and authentic Writers, which confirm the same which I affirm: First, therefore to confirm this point, That the sick party is often irrecoverably sick of a most Acute and violent disease, when his water seemeth not to import any disease at all; I had a Urine brought me (when I lived at East-Greensted in Sussex, where I was then a young practicant in Physic) which did not seem to import any disease, but was of a better colour and consistence than mine own, who was in perfect health, in so much that I could not discern thereby that the party was sick; much less that he was sick unto death of a violent disease: But I did not tell the messenger that brought it, that I did not perceive by the water, that the party was sick, for than I might have showed myself to have been a fool, and to have had no skill in waters, as that Gossip thought me that I last spoke of: But thus I handled the messenger; I asked him how long the party had been sick, and he answered me, a week; from whence I knew that it was a violent disease, for else I should (if I had not put him that question) have thought it to have been a chronical disease, and so should have given a wrong description of the same, because the water seemed to import no disease at all: So when I had gathered, by his answer to that question that it was a violent disease, I likewise knew that there was a Fever joined, and gave him but the description of a Fever, to show him how the party was affected, and he was very well satisfied therewith, and thought I perceived the disease in the water. Now having given this description how the party was affected, and that he had a Fever (and indeed a man needs not to say any more, what kind of Fever soever it be) I fell to some conference nearer to the matter (with the Messenger) whereby I came to understand the disease better than by the Urine; and now I begin to tell him the danger that the party was in. and he desires me (for the messenger was kinsman unto to the sick party) that I would be pleased out of charity (for the sick man was poor, by profession a Shoemaker, by name John Lintell) to go along with him, and to see him; the which I granted, and went along with the messenger to see this sick party, whom I found, lying in his bed not able to stir himself, sick of a peripneumoniacall Fever (which is the Apostemation and inflammation of the lungs) with all the signs of death in his face, upon the eighth day of his sickness, with sharp nose, hollow eyes red cheeks, a great pain in his back between his shoulders, and a great oppression of his stomach and pectoral parts, in so much that he could scarce breathe or speak, but with rattling in the throat; all the which when I had well observed, I put him in mind of his mortality and present imminent danger, gave him the best instructions that I could to prepare himself for that sudden change of this life for another that was like to be, and so took my leave of him: But before I could get away, I was desired by some of his friends that were about him, to tell them (for they think that we can surely tell, or else that we are not our crafts-masters) whether he would dye, or no; and I took upon me to determine his death before eight of the clock the next night, within half an hour of which time he died. But (before I could get out of the chamber) they began to whisper, as the manner is and to scoff me to my face, saying amongst themselves, that they did nor perceive but that he might live as long as I; but my predictions proved so true, and were so soon accomplished, that I came off from that their censure with more than ordinary credit, for as much as I had prefixed so short a time of his life, and the event (death) following now so near the utmost bounds and limits of the time. Yet I confess ingenuously, that I was too peremptory in determining his death within so short a time, or by such an hour, for I had told them▪ that he could not live until such an hour (which was ●ight of the clock) and that, if he should escape that hour, he would recover; but yet both of these predictions might have proved false, for he might both escape that hour, and yet might not recover (though I said he would, if he passed that hour) but die within a few days or hours after. Neither did I pronounce my judgement from any grounds of Art, that did determine his death within such an hour, but only by conjectural probability; for your cunning men, or Conjurers, nay the Devil himself, cannot otherwise than upon conjecture, determine a sick man's life unto an hour, unless you make him one of the Almighty's scoret counsel. Nay I dare affirm, that the Devils may, and often are deceived in their conjectures and calculations touching the life and death of men, and yet their natural knowledge is far more than men's, for they are spirits; and their acquired knowledge is as much beyond men's, because they are ancienter than men (even from the beginning of the world) & are not subject to the same mortality that man is, who (before he come to begin to have understanding) is in his Grave. I say therefore, that no Physician, nay the Devils (who are ancienter than Aesculapius or Hypocrates, or any of that race) cannot determine the life and death of a man, but upon conjecture, and may be deceived; but yet you look that a Physician should be able to do it, and not to err, because such an event doth oftentimes accidentally follow such a peremptory conclusion as this of mine was, that this party would dye within such an hour. It is true indeed, and I might truly say (the nature of the disease, and the strength of the body, with all other signs of death being well considered) that I thought the party would scarce live until such an hour: but if I should say (without any qualification of the sense) that the party would not live until such an hour, and that he would recover if he should pass that hour, you might think that I spoke without my book, for I could not say so, but that I must speak more than I know, and so derogate from the providence of God, in assuming that knowledge unto myself that belongs only to him. I was likewise called to another lusty young man (one John Duffield by name) in the very same Town, very shortly after, who was sick of the very same disease, in the same manner, whose friends were very importunate at me to be tampering with him, and to use my best skill to recover him, but I perceived that there had another Quack been tampering with him before, who had omitted the opportunity of letting him blood, and found him so far and in such case debilitated that now there was no place for bleeding unless I had been contented to have undergone the scandal that would have soon ensued; so I wished them to send for the Physician of the soul, and told them there was no place for my Art: For, had I caused him to have been let blood, he would have gone near to have died under the Chirurgeons hands, and then they would not have stuck to have said that I had killed him; for it was afternoon, and almost night when I was called unto him, and he died before the next morning: Yet (as I said before of the incertain judgement of diseases by the water) his water was of as good a colour and consistence every way as any healthful man's, yet notwithstanding I gave my judgement so upon this Urine, as that I satisfied the messenger; for I asked the messenger, how long the party had been sick, who answered almost a week; from whence I gathered that it was a violent disease although the water did not witness the same, and so gave the description of a Fever which showed how the party was affected, and made the messenger think that I perceived his disease in the water; but you (I hope) well perceive how I did it, and how a man may be sick unto death, his Urine showing no disease at all, and if a Physician can satisfy the messenger and seem to describe the disease by the Urine, notwithstanding. So now I proceed to sit in judicature upon this modest harlot (the Urine) who in chronical diseases seemeth to import no disease at all, and yet she is caught ipso facto in her close tricks, for which she is come to public censure: But first, before I come to examine this strumpet, I must further show you how I come to know certainly whether it be a chronical disease or no, since she is (namely the Urine) so perfidious as that there is no credit to be given to any thing that she comes to give in evidence concerning the state of any sick or well body's water whomsoever: 
How a linger disease is found out.  Now that I discern (namely whether it be a chronical disease or no) by the same question that I propounded in giving my judgement upon Urines in violent diseases; and that question was this; I only asked the messenger how long the party had been sick, by answer whereunto I am certified, or at least have strong presumption, whether it be a chronical or violent disease; for if the Piss Post say a week or less, I then presume that it is a violent disease: But if the Pisse-bearer say that the party hath not been very well a good while (which is their answer commonly in a chronical disease, when we ask how long the party hath been sick, for indeed they are not sick in most chronical diseases, but are illish or not well) I dare say then that it is a chronical disease; and when I have once received this answer to the forenamed question, (let the water be of what colour soever it will, or whether I 〈◊〉 or no, I care not) I know how to give an answer that shall please the messenger, and fill his bag, but put nothing in it; and though the water show no disease at all, (for so it falleth out for the most part, as I have already told you, in these chronical diseases, that I am now to speak of next;) yet I will find the disease (for which the party sent it) out of it: nay, (if the party should have no disease at all, but send his Urine to see if he be not inclining unto some such hereditary disease as his Parents have died of, or been subject unto, as the Gout, Stone, Consumption or the like) I will shake it into the danger of falling into the same, or some other disease of no less danger, for that they always fear, and love to be warned of, though they have obtained such a constitution of body as is not obnoxious unto their Parents diseases; and thus I must do, if an Urine be sent, though the party be well, or but a little out of tune, by reason of the least distemper that may be▪ for there is no such constitution of body, but that it hath its proper infirmities, the which must be discerned (since there is such a custom) by the Urine; and I will find them out, and more than there are, by it, if once I come to lecture upon it, or else let them blame my judgement; so then (I trow) there will be work for the Tinker to prevent an hole in Nature, where there was never like to be a breach. But (I pray) may not this Physick-tinker (who pretending such knowledge by the Urine, is constrained to back his pretended knowledge by such base fallacies) may not (I say) nay, will he not, think you (under pretence of fortifying that place where you fear a breach) grate an hole in another to let in diseases, to make himself continual work, the which (at last) will let out that precious liquor of thy life, that thou wouldst be loath to lose? But I leave that to thine own charity to judge of; and so betake myself to my Study, to come forth from thence in my gown and my cap, to entertain the next Pisse-bearers, who now begin to come thick and threefold; I must therefore be gone to my Study, from whence you shall see me come forth presently, and hear me pronounce true judgement, upon the false evidence of the suborned witness (the Urine) on the delinquent (the sick party) though he be absent, and not here to speak for himself.   

CHAP. VI  
After what manner (if diverse Pisse-messengers come together) they must be examined: How to show (by the Urine) the Sex, whether a woman be with child or no, how long it is since she conceived of it, and whether she s●all bring forth a boy, or a girl, although the Urine show none of all these.  
AND now I am in my Study indeed, and you think (I suppose) at my book in earnest consultation with Hypocrates, or Galen, or some other learned Physic Author; but, if I be looking upon any book at all, it shall rather be Gordo●ius his tractate of the Cautions of Urines, wherein he teacheth a Physician, (though I think his intention was to teach him not to be deceived by the Urine) to deceive the people by the same: otherwise I am meditating how to handle every Pisse-pot-bearer upon any occasion whatsoever: and my mind being now set more upon the benefit that comes to myself by the Pisspot, than to others by my study, I mind my gate or door more than my book, though I am in my Study (where haply, my name being up, I have a bed and am lying upon it, and should have lain there till noon, had I not been interrupted) and hear a great knocking at my gate, and must myself (in my man's absence) be fain to go see what the matter is: so to my gate I trudge, in all precipitious haste, with a quick pace and a sharp look, importing greater business than to examine a Pisspot, where I find three or four Pisse-messengers at once, (with their Urinals under their aprons) whom I usher into my Hall, and there begin (before I take them aside, apart, to Lecture upon their waters) to look very sternly upon them, and ask them very hastily, (to the end that I may dash them so far out of countenance, that they may not be capable of conceiving whether I err or no in giving my judgement on their waters, and to make them the more ready to tell me whatsoever I shall demand of them) what they would with me, where they live, whose water it is for whom they come, etc. And they are all ready to present me their waters, looking who shall be dispatched first: but before I take any of their Urinals of them, I sound them how far I shall be puzzled with them, dispatching them first, that I shall be least troubled withal. To the first therefore I say, where live you? and she answers, at such a place, naming it: I further ask her whose water it is? and she saith her Mistresses: I ask her also who is her Mistress, to which she answers me very orderly, and is now ready to put forth her Urinal unto me, but I do not yet take it, nor I ask her no more questions, for she will be ready to tell me whatsoever I shall demand: I come therefore to a second, and ask her where she dwells, and (she having told me) I likewise ask her whose water it is that she hath brought, and she saith a Gentlewoman's, who desired her to bring it unto me, and she is ready to give me her Urinal, but I refuse it: I go now to a third, and ask her (for they are for the most part, She-pisse-bearers in a great Town or City) where she dwells, and that she is contented to tell me: but when I ask her whose water it is, she pauseth here, and begins to make a doubt whether she were best to tell me that, or no; and therefore answers, that it is a friends of hers: I then ask her what friends it is, and whether it be a man's or a woman's water; and she tells me, that I shall perceive that by the water, (thinking that I can or aught to do so indeed) when I look upon it, and holds forth her Urinal unto me, in hope that I will dispatch her first, but I refuse to take it, for I am like to be puzzled with her, and it will require more time and Art to answer her than both the other, and therefore she shall tarry to be the last answered for that trick. I now therefore take the Urinal of her that told me that it was her Mistress water, and single her out from her fellows, and bid her follow me into another room (for I must not let several messengers hear what I say to each other) because I may chance to stop two gaps with one bush, and to give the same answer and description of the disease to them all three, (and indeed one description will as well serve for all chronical diseases, as the description of a Fever for all violent diseases, as I have showed you) and then they would think that I pulled the bush out of one gap to put it into another, and that I could say nothing else. I having therefore took the maid into another room, bid her come to the light, and as I am taking the Urinal out of the case (perceiving it to be of a subcitrine or pale colour, which seem not to import any disease) I presently say; maid, thy Mistress goes up and down: and she answers, yes forsooth; and imagines no less now, but that I perceive the Idea or shape of her Mistress in the water, and thinks that I can tell any thing else by the same, so that I shall not now need to trouble myself in ask her any more questions, for she tells me that her Mistress goes up and down indeed, and that I had said very right, and tells me that her Mistress desired that I would certify her whether she were with child, or no; so I now set down the Urinal in the window, and tell her that it must stand so a little while, and settle, and then I will tell her presently. 
Ordinary times of conception.  In the mean time, I fall to parley with the maid, and ask her whether her Mistress have had any child or no, and how long (if she have) it is since she had one; and she saith, a year, a year and an half, or almost two years: and (indeed) most childing women go a year, or near upon, and many a year and half, and some two years before they conceive with child again, especially if they nurse their children themselves. I ask her likewise, if she can tell whether her Mistress have her natural courses monthly or no, or when she had them; to which 〈◊〉 answers, that her Mistress bid her tell me, that she hath not had them this ten weeks, and therefore tells me that she thinks she is with child, but would desire me to resolve her: 
The sign of conception in married women.  And I may quickly do it without any more looking upon the water, for the tale (that this wench hath told) shows plainly that she is with child, and the sudden stopping of the courses in a married woman (that enjoyed them monthly before) is the most certain token in the world, that I know, that a woman is with child: it is likewise the aptest time for a woman to conceive immediately after she hath had them, neither can I nor any other Physician tell, but by this token, (which is the most certain of all the rest) agreeing with other signs of conception, which the water shows not, whether a woman be with child or no, and yet for fashion sake, I take the Urinal in my hand again, and fall to peering into it (as though I looked for some little child there) And say now to the maid that her Mistress is not very well in her stomach, 
Other signs of the same.  hath no appetite to meat, is ill in her stomach in a morning, and apt to vomit after meat (and so are most childing women at this time) and say, that she is a quarter gone with child, which jumps just with ten weeks, according to the common computation of a woman's go in forty weeks: but do not say, that she is ten weeks with child, or just so long as since she had her natural courses last, for that would make them so cunning (in time) that they would not send their waters to a Doctor to cast, to know whether they were with child or no, but I say, she is a quarter gone with child, which is but as much as to have said she is ten weeks with child, or just so long as since she had her courses last, which was (as the maid told me) ten weeks ago. I further say, that she is with child of a boy, and to say so, is an even lay; yet, lest it should prove false, 
How you are to deal with those who desire to be resolved whether the child is like to be a boy or a girl.  I say (looking upon the water very earnestly) that if it had been brought when it had been warm, or when she had been quick with child, or some such like flame, I could have told her certainly whether she were with child of a boy, or of a girl, but I verily think it will be a boy; so now, if it chance to be a boy indeed, it will be granted that I knew for certain that it would be a boy, and I shall be accounted one of the rarest Doctors in the Town; but if it chance to be a girl, the flame, that I gave to the maid, and the truth of my predictions in determining the Gentlewoman to be with child, and telling her how long she was gone with child, will help to bear out the other, so that I shall not have my skill one jot abated thereby. I now therefore tell the maid, (as if she had come in but now) that her Mistress is not very well in her stomach, hath no appetite to meat, is inclinning to vomit after meat, is with child a quarter gone, (and as I think) of a boy, and that it were very convenient for her to take some corroborating Electuary to strengthen and settle her stomach though she be with child, nay, I tell her that it will be good, not only for her, but for her child also, and I bid her tell her Mistress, that it will make her child to prosper the better within her, and make it the more lively, so that she shall be the better able to bring it forth with the more ease; nay, I tell her that it will make her bring forth the more wise and understanding child. And so I have done with the maid, bid her remember me to her Mistress, and be sure to tell her what I had said: and now I am sure that I shall get a fee for myself, and a feeling for mine Apothecary; for what woman (being with child) would not have it to prosper within her? but would she not more gladly bring it forth with ease, and most gladly (it being brought forth) have it prove a wise and understanding child? I dare say she would, though for no other end but (merely out of pride and emulation) to have it wiser (that is wittier, and more sharp-witted) than her neighbours, and not so much out of desire that it should attain true wisdom; but whatsoever her drift be, it skills not; I must bethink myself of something to perform that which I promised, for this Gentlewoman will repair unto me for such an Electuary as I spoke of 〈◊〉 to which purpose I have the most admirable receipt in the world, learned it of a proud gossip very lately, into whose company I light bychance who was very inquisitive to learn where she might get some Quinces, and in a proud scornful manner questioned with me concerning the nature and virtue of them: who told her that they did corroborate the stomach, and were cooling and restringent, and therefore good against vomiting, and fluxes; at which she seemed to scorn, and said, that she had heard a learned Doctor say, that they being eaten of a great bellied-woman, would make her bring forth a wise child, as if I could not as well tell how fa●re they conduce to the producing of a wise child as her learned Doctor. But suppose Marmalade, or some other confection of Quinces alone to be admirable for the purpose, yet I have learned more wit than to tell this Gentlewoman so, or to give her a box of Marmalade, and bid her eat often of it in the morning fasting, and before and after meat, no, she would then undervalue my skill, and scarce think me worthy of a fee; but I prescribe her an Electuary, wherein Marmalade, or some other confection of Quinces is the chief ingredient, but I mix therewithal some species or conserveses to seem to prescribe some rare curious thing though Marmalade alone would have done as well: I shall serve this Gentlewoman even so, and shall prescribe her such an Electuary, which may haply stay her vomiting, and corroborate her stomach, so as she may have a better appetite to meat, and her child may become the more lively and prosper the better within her; but whether it will make the child so wise as to know its own father or no, I know not; I dare not promise: but let her now send when she will, for I am provided for her; and so I have done with her maid, and sent her away, and am ready to encounter with the second (and to send her away as wise as she came) who told me that it was a Gentlewoman's water that she had brought.   

CHAP. VII.  
That Physicians are often fain to reckon up most of the Symptoms that accompany all the chronical diseases of all the parts of the body (from head to heel) until they hit upon that which the messenger looketh for, because the Urine (for the most part) in a chronical sickness, seemeth not to important disease at all: and that a Physician (if he give a false description of the disease, so that he be taken up by the messenger for the same) must make it good however.  
I Am now come forth with the maid whom I have dispatched, and bid the second messenger follow me into the same room where I gave my oracle unto the maid: where being come, I say, come (good woman) give me thy Urinal, and tell her (the Urine being of such a colour, as importeth not an Acute disease, that is of a high red colour) that this Gentlewoman walks up and down, hath a crude stomach, no appetite to meat, and is (if she feed liberally) ill after it, and by reason of the ill disposition of her stomach, is often pained in the head: and here she stops me before I run any further (for else I might chance to reckon up most of the Symptoms that accompany chronical diseases, till I hit upon that which the messenger looked for) and so takes me off, and saith she is troubled with a great pain in the head indeed, but doth not complain much of her stomach: and then I reply that the pain in the head proceeded from the stomach and parts thereunto adjoining, and that the stomach is always accessary to the diseases of the head, and that I named the illness of her stomach, first, because it was the cause of her disease: and having once given a description of a disease I must be sure to make it good, whether it be true or false; for if I had (for a description of a disease) said that she had been troubled with an oppilation of the Liver, and pain in the head (the messenger answering, no Master Doctor, she is troubled with an illness, and pain in the stomach) I would have said, it is very true indeed, and I should have told you so, had you not interrupted ●he, but yet I would maintain it very confidently, that it came from the head (for the stomach and head do mutually offend each other) and what could she have said to the contrary? or if, when I had given a description of the disease, she had said, Master Doctor, she is much as you have said, but do not you perceive that she hath a very weak back? to which I answer, yes marry hath she (for else why should she ask me?) and something else too, which I shall tell you presently; and then I take the Urine and look upon it and shake it together and set it down in the window to settle, pretending that it will show me something else anon: In the mean time I gather by conference with the messenger, whether it be a married woman's or a maiden's water, and the● I take the Urinal and say, (if it be a married women) that she hath a very weak back indeed and that she is troubled with the Whites, which is a disease that very many women are trouble withal, that complain of weak backs: so no● I have made amends for not naming it at the first amongst the other Symptoms: and now she● thinks that I have found it out by the water, never dreaming that I conclude, that she hath weak back, from her question, and add, that she● hath the Whites, as a disease that follows the weakness of back, but thinks (because I look● in the water) that I find it there: but if this water chance to be a maiden-gentlewomans', who●● either troubled with a pain or heat in her back and the messenger ask me if she be not troubled with one of them, I presently conjure them bo●● into the water (for they commonly go both together) by shaking and looking into it, as also 〈◊〉 setting it down a little to settle, and taking it 〈◊〉 again straightways (for it is quickly found) and then I say, that she hath a great pain and heat in her back too, and (according to her ripeness, and readiness for the man) that she would have the Stone, or rather the Stones, if she could tell how to get them: I further add (naming the disease for which she hath sent her water, though she ail nothing save only that Cupid hath hit her with his golden arrow) that this Gentlewoman wanteth a good husband, and that she dreameth often of her sweetheart; & bid the woman bid her be of good cheer, & tell her that her sweetheart will come very shortly; and with this message she is so delighted, that she is more than half well again, and thinks to herself (though she say nothing to her that brought me her Urine) that I am a very cunning man, and that I can as well tell, whether she shall enjoy him whom she is taken withal, as I have guest by her years & constitution of body (but she thinks I have done it by her Urine) that she is in love, and that I can help her to something to make her sweetheart as far in love with her, and means to try me for some Love powder, or some other devise to catch her Lover in a Cleft stick; for she hath heard of such tricks, and some that have professed Physic, have taught that Art, and diverse both men and women have repaired unto such Knaves, (and by practising such wicked means as hath been taught them) have obtained their Lovers; but yet if she repair unto me again for this purpose (though I have been very youthful in descanting upon her water) I will read her a graver Lecture, for I disclaim such knowledge (though haply I know more than such a Rogue as shall practise it) and detest such wickedness at mine heart. But now this long Parenthesis, or discourse concerning this maiden-Gentlewoman, may seem to have hindered the dispatch of the woman that came for the married Gentlewoman: yet if you do suppose that she came in but now and that I have but now taken her to do, and have gathered (after that I have once pronounced a description of the disease) by parley with her, that the Gentlewoman is married, and such other circumstances as I would know, you shall not perceive but that I presently dispatch her; taking the Urinal in my hand and from the water (though she have told me all) pronounce the disease, and say, that the Gentlewoman hath a very weak back, is troubled with the Whites, & that this disease had hindered (for you must conceive that the woman told me that this Gentlewoman hath not had any child, this three or four years) her conceiving with child, and that she would have no more children, unless she were freed of them; and now I must think upon something (against she send) to cure this Gentlewoman, for I am sure she'll to't again for the t'other boy: and now I am ready for the third messenger, that said she came for a friend of hers.   

CHAP. VIII.  
How to correct the perverse disposition of cross messengers: and afterwards to make the messenger believe that thou canst conjure, by showing the disease by the Urinal case. How men will serve their wives (who would fain be rid of them) and women their husbands, when they have been with a Physician (for advice) the one for the other. The notable imposture of a Butterbox about this Town, who pretendeth great skill (above other men) in giving judgement of diseases by the Urine.  
I Have made this Gossip tarry till the last for her oracle, because I feared by her answer (when I asked her whose water it was that she had brought) that she would prove a cross piece of flesh to deal withal: I must therefore handle her gently, for the wildest colts are oftener tamed by gentle means, as by letting them have the reins lie still in their necks, and giving them their own play, than by curbing them in too straightly, or by labouring to quiet them by switch and spur, or the lash: I therefore suffer this colt to play in her own halter▪ till she have so tired or hampered herself, that I may do what I will with her: I do in no wise handle her roughly, or speak harshly unto her, and say, come you with your friend's water, and let me see it, and (when I have taken it of her) ask her whether it be a man's or a woman's water, for it seemeth by her other answer, that she will not tell me that, and then say (she denying to tell me) come, come, a Pox on't, tell me whose water it is, for I have not time to stand peering into it, for every thing that I must tell you, though I could find it there, if I had not other fish to seethe: and indeed their foolish peevishness had (oftentimes) need to be so met withal, and some Physicians have gone that strain, and by that humour have gotten more fame, than their transcendent skill in Physic or learning, above other men hath deserved: but I am not of that humour, no, I say, come good woman (who stinks as much of goodness, as a Poult-cat of musk) I have made you tarry, but you shall not altogether lose your labour; I pray follow me; and so I conduct her into my Parlour, where I have now my man waiting for me with a cup of Ale, with a Nutbrown tossed in it, or else a cup of good English Beer of sixteen at the least, with Nutmeg and Sugar in it for my morning's draught, and sit me down in my chair, and say, here good woman I drinks to you, and so fetch off a bowl of almost a pint, and bid my man fill the good woman a cup and put in some more Nutmeg and Sugar and bid her to drink an hearty draught: and when she hath drunk, I bid my man fill me another cup, that I may wash both mine eyes, so that I may see the better to dispatch this woman quickly: and when I have drunk that off, I bid my man fill the good woman another cup, and bid her mend her draught, and tell her that to drink Nutmeg and Sugar in her Beer in a morning will make her water sweet. And thus are the perverse dispositions of cross messengers better corrected, than the malignity of Scammony, with Anise-seed, Rhubarb with Spike, Agricke and Turbitch, with Sal-gemme, Ginger, or galangal, Senna, with Ginger, or Cinnamon, black Hellebore with Mastic, or Cinnamon, or La●is Armenius, with twenty times washing in Rose-water: but now to return to the matter, I have washed away all the ill quality of this woman's nature with the cup of Beer that I gave her, and wrought her to so good a temper with my loving speeches, that I need not fear, but that she will tell me any thing that I shall ask her: however I have now drunk my morning's draught and shall be able to see the clearer, if I must find it all out of the water, that I must show. I therefore now say, come good woman (it is a great chance but that I lie;) how long hath your friend been sick? and she cannot answer me to this question without showing me the sex, (that is, whether it be a man's or a woman's water) for the party is not sick; for than she might answer me directly without giving me any knowledge thereof, and might say, a week, a fortnight, or more, or less, but she must needs say, He, or She (but yet she will scarce remember that she said, He or She, anon when I shall show my skill upon the water, and determine the Sex) hath not been very well a good while, and so offers me her Urinal with the water in it, as it is in the Case, but I refuse to take it, and say unto her as followeth. Good woman, because I have made you to stay so long, I will show you your friend's disease by the Urinal Case, and never look upon the water at all: give me therefore the Urinal Case, and do you keep the water to yourself, so that I do not see it at all, and yet I will tell you your friend's disease, as well as he that should poor and peep, or gaze into the water this month: and now the woman thinks that I can surely conjure. I now therefore take the Urinal Case of her, and look as wistly upon it, as if it were the Urinal with the water in it, and presently pronounce (looking upon the Case,) That this party goes up and down, is not heartsick, but is faint in the body, hath but a bad stomach, doth linger and pine as it were, is joyless and melancholic and takes no pleasure in any thing, which shall be the description of this disease: and now the woman she wonders to hear me say, by looking only upon the Urinal Case, that the party is so affected, as I have said; and yet it is true, that the party is so affected, & it is as true that the Urinal Case doth show it as certainly as the Urine itself. For the water might be of such a laudable colour and consistence as might seem not to import any disease at all, and yet the party might be sick unto death: It might likewise be of such a colour and consistence as might seem to import a violent disease when the party is not sick at all: I wish therefore that any Physician would set pen to paper to disprove me, or to show that there is any certain judgement of any disease, by the water; and yet forsooth this base custom, of divining by it, must be continued: But how then, will you say, can a Physician conclude, that a party is thus or thus affected, from it? Why thus you may do it: namely, by putting a question; For (as Fernelius saith) Interrogatiuncula cautè praemittenda quampridem morbus invasit: A question is to be propounded (craftily) to the messenger (as I have done to this woman) how long the party hath been sick: Then pronounce a description of the disease, and fall to parley with the messenger, and thou shalt quickly find what the disease is; for the same Author saith, Verborum circuitu stultorum mens facile irretitur, by exchange of words the fool messenger is soon caught: And thus have I caught this woman, whom (though she be an old bird) I have caught with chaff; for I asked her, before I took the Urinal case of her (by which I have undertaken to divine) how long her friend had been sick, and she answered me, that he (but hath forgot that she said he) had not been very well a good while, from which answer I shall show both the sex and the disease; for this word (He) showeth me the sex, and these words, Hath not been very well a good while, show me that it is a chronical disease, and how the party is affected: The latter part of her answer, namely, A good while, show that it is a chronical disease; and the former part of the words, namely, Hath not been very well, do imply that the party lieth not by it, and that therefore he goeth up and down, hath no appetite to meat, is faint in his body, doth linger and pine as it were, is joyless and melancholic, and takes no pleasure in any thing (as I told her before) and so are all they that have not been very well a good while: But the woman never dreams that I gather all this from her answer, because I look upon the Urinall-case, but rather think that the Urinal infected the case, or else that I can conjure: But let her think what she will, so that I conserve that fame which I have got in the Pisspot Science, I care not: Yet this I am sure, that she will think never the worse of me for being a conjurer. Imagine with me, that she came but now in, and that (after my courteous entertainment of her) I have but now taken the Urinal case of her, asked how long her friend hath been ●●cke, and received her answer, but that I presently pronounce the same description of her friend's disease that I have already showed you; at which she wonders not a little; but I shall make her wonder more anon: And now I add, that it is a man's water, to which she answers, that it is indeed. I further ask her how old the party is, and according to her answer, as the party's age shall agree with hers, I say that it is her husbands, at which she marvels more than at all the rest, and saith that it is indeed: And now she is ready to put finger in the eye, and asks me if he be not in a Consumption, and tells me (for I did not name it) that he hath a very great cough: She asks me likewise if I do not perceive it; and I answer, yes I do perceive it, or else befool me while you will, and I will never be angry: And then I tell her that this cough proceeded from his ill stomach (which I had named) that sent a theume unto his head, which distilled down from thence upon his lungs and caused the same. I now come nearer to the matter, and tell her that her husband is inclining (and perhaps further entered than ever I shall be able to recover him) into a Consumption: But yet I tell her that I hope he may be recovered as yet, and that I will use the best means▪ that may be, to restore him: I also ask her why she so long deferred coming to a Physician, and she saith, that her husband had thought to have worn it out, as they all think to do: I now tell her that I fear there will be some danger, yet I will do what can be done on my behalf, and that she must now defer no longer time, if she love her husband's life: And now if she be not provided of another husband already, and so come more to know how long she shall be troubled with him, and to excuse her self (if he should chance to dye) than for any thing to cure him, I must bethink myself of some Aurum potabile, some Liquor of life of a great price, some Consumption powder of twenty or thirty shillings an ounce, or some such receipt which no body hath but myself) than the which none datur majus secretum, there is not a greater secret in the world: And now if I recover the man, he will think his purse to be in a Consumption, but I cannot cure it there. But if this woman would have him dye, she'll go home and tell him that he is in a Consumption indeed, and will scarce recover: So now whereas he went up and down before, walked abroad, and was sick but a little in jest, he feels himself iller already with this message, and means to dye in good earnest; and so betakes himself to his chamber, with a resolution to save his purse, out of which he never comes till he be brought with his heels forward: And thus was I cruelly haunted (at Canterbury) by a man to put him in comfort of his wives more sudden departure than God had decreed, but she is yet living, and (for aught that I know) may live to eat of that Goose that may graze upon his Grave. I dare say that women come not short of that man▪ yet I did never perceive that any woman ever brought me her husband's Urine for that purpose; I will not therefore belie them, to make them worse than they are, for they are (God amend them) bad enough of themselves already. I have therefore done with this woman (for I suspect, for all her feigned tears, that she came to to that purpose) and have given her her errand, and sent her away, and she (by this time) hath given her husband his errand, and sent him the way of all flesh, (who had he not trusted to his wife, and relied upon the sending of his Piss in stead of sending for myself or some other learned Physician) might have been a live man and have lived many a fair year: But you see what is become of him, and (I hope) conceive what danger you put your lives in that adventure to take Physic prescribed by the sight of the Urine only: I hope likewise that you conceive by these few instances that I have already set down, how a Physician (if I may so call him that useth such base fallacies to back his pretended knowledge) may give judgement of Urines both in Acute and Violent, or chronical and lingering diseases, and how handsomely your Pisse-messengers are fobbed over: for I protest before God, that by these fallacies, this deceitful juggling, and far worse shifts than any I have here set down, hath this base custom of giving judgement of diseases by the sight of the Urine, been underpropped and supported, or else it had long ago been abrogated, and fallen to the ground: For there is no knowledge of any disease to be gathered by the Urine, sufficient to guide a Physician in the prescribing of medicines to cure the same: (And yet (forsooth) such a base custom hath been upholden by most of our best Physicians, that (you bringing us your Piss) we must tell you (though we do it merely by such fallacies as I have showed you, or the like) what is the disease by it, and whether it be a man's or a woman's water; as also, if it be the water of a womankind, whether it be a married woman's or a Maidens; and, if a married women, whether she be with child or no; and, if with child, whether she shall bring forth a boy or a girl, and when she conceived of it; and (I think too) whether she shall bring forth a man or a monster: I can tell you one thing more (as well as any man in the world can tell you any of these that I have named) by the water, if you be as much desirous to know, as you are far to seek sometimes, and that is this, namely who begot this child, whether your own husband or what other man. But if women did believe as much (which they may as well as any of the other) we should as often have half a piece, for being sent for to the women kind, as have half a shilling sent us for casting their water. Nay the Maid (that I spoke of) may chance to be but a cracked vessel and a supposed Virgin, and hath been toying with some fellow or other, so far that she knew not how to backe his putting forward, but hath (she thinks but in jest) taken such earnest for her Virginity, as hath confirmed the sale of her chastity: Upon consideration whereof, she now begins to grow malcontent, is queasy stomached, troubled with a pain and swelling in her belly, and her ankles are swollen towards night; for which cause, her friends fear the Dropsy, or some ill disease, and so send their Daughter's water to a Doctor to cast, to know what she aileth; and if they have any jealousy of their Daughter, that she hath played at fast and loose, and played loose when she should have kept fast, they think that a Doctor can tell how the knot slipped, and easily resolve them of that doubt: But if we suspect and conceive it to be so indeed by the tale of the messenger that brings this water, yet we dare not say that this Maid is with child, for we know not the trouble and stir that might come of it; but happily we say, Is this a Maids water? and than we say (if it be) that she hath a Tympany (which is a Dropsy as her Parents feared) meaning with two legs, which proves too true, and makes the messenger to call to mind (when this Tympany hath more plainly discovered itself) that the Doctor asked her if this were a Maid's water; and then they surely think that we could tell by the water; but yet we can tell no otherwise, than as I have showed you before in giving judgement of women's Urines, and how we judge them to be with child by their water; the which, women themselves might do (if they would apply their hearts unto that wisdom that most properly concerned them) by conferring with discreet women, or Midwives, who (if they could not better tell by that secret examination of their bodies which they might make, and by other observations, whether a women were with child or no, than any Physician can do by the Urine,) were not worthy to exercise that function; So they should not need to trouble a Physician (for that matter) but that they love rather to be tampering with a man than with their own sex, and so might save that groat (sent for casting their water to know whether they be with child or 〈◊〉) to buy them a pound of Soap to make their Limon white: But the woman is, so addicted to the man, that Midwives (I think) ere long will be quite out of request, so that if some more of us Physicians (who are the most proper and handsome handed men amongst us) do not tur●● women-deliverers, our brothers will be overwrought; Sed 〈…〉 targere: But I will not now rub any more upon this sore, for I have not now time to search it to the bottom, and therefore I will let it a one until I may chance to rank it with the other monopolised secrets of the met hodicall Abusers of the noble Profession of Physic. And thus have I showed the fallacies and knavery (of all those, whether Physicians or Quacks and Empirics; who pretend knowledge of diseases by the same) used in the giving judgement of an Urine: The which I have so plainly showed that the most ignorant people may perceive how finely they are flammed over, when they send their Piss to a Doctor to cast, and may collect (for it is very true) that there is no certain knowledge of any disease to be gathered from the Urine; but yet the nature of men is such that (being settled in an opinion, though grounded merely upon errors and 〈◊〉 they will hardly be bearen from it by sound arguments and solid reasons and will rather embrace and maintain falsehood (instead of truth) than be thought so weak as to have been possibly deluded: I know for certain that it will hardly sink into many of your heads, which I have written; because many Physicians, some Divines, and other silenced Ministers who have turned Physicians (whose tender consciences would not serve them to subscribe to the decent ceremonies of the Church) have practised these base fallacies, in giving judgement of Waters being brought unto them: But (I hope) some of their waters will be better looked into, than to be suffered to exercise two callings of such weight as are Divinity and Physic: And (for mine own part) scare not though I be censured for going about to overthrew this custom of giving judgement of diseases by the Urine, the which I know I shall be; for I have already ejaculated something to this purpose, and I find men so prepossessed with an opinion that the Urine is sufficient to show a Physician the disease, sex, and conception, and the like, so that very mechanics tell me that they have sent their waters unto such and such Doctors, who have thereby told them their diseases directly: I (saith one) have sent my Wife's water by my Maid (who is a cunning wench, and would not be deceived) to a young Dutch man a Doctor, who (they say) is the most expert man, for his judgement in waters, in all the Town; and he hath told the Maid (by the water) how her Mistress hath been affected in every respect, and that she was with child, which proved true. To which I answer, that if the Maid had no more wit than her Master, I could as easily cozen her as the Dutchman did; and I do further affirm that the Dutchman is an Ass, the Frenchman a Fool, and the Englishman a Knave, who pretendeth knowledge of diseases by the Urine. I have likewise had some conference with some of better breeding, and more knowing men, who (because they have been thus deluded by their Physicians) do likewise believe that the Urine doth show the disease sufficiently of itself: And (to this purpose) saith one, I have sent my water unto such a Doctor with a Latin Epistle of two or three lines (not writing how I was in any kind affected) and he hath returned me an answer in very terse Latin, and showed me truly how I was affected, and what was the cause of my disease; and therefore certainly (saith he) the Urine doth show the disease: To whom I answer, that he could pen no Epistle (though he do not write therein how he is affected) from whence a Physician cannot collect something which shows how he is affected, more than the Urine: and yet when he returns his answer, he will therein imply that he perceiveth it by the Urine. For example's sake I have here framed an Epistle from this Academian; 〈…〉 in such terse Latin as he wrote) unto his Physician, for his judgement of his disease by his Urine: I have likewise set down the Physicians Oracle or answer in some of the very same words which this Gentleman said, that his Doctor written unto him: From whence you shall perceive that there is nothing but fallacy in giving judgement of diseases by the Urine only.   

CHAP. IX.  
That the 〈◊〉 Clerks are not the 〈…〉 and 〈…〉 long judgement of diseases (by the Urine) 〈…〉, or mere juggling.  
VRinam hanc nostram (egregie Domine Doctor) morborum quam vocant indicem, per hunc bafulum cum hisce meis literis, inspic●endam ad te misi. Quid mali m●natur, vel quodram morbi genus significare videtur, ex tuis literis rescriptis scire gest●●: Inspice igitur, & rescribe sententiam tuam tantum quae sit, de urina, quem morbum indicat presentem, vel futurum prognosticat: Déque cura ejus, & consilij genere quod erit ei accommodatissimum, sum post hac consulturus quum te certiorem fecerim (ex ore meo) quid mali, potissimum affligit, &, quae sit ejus causa (si forte caelarae eam Vrina) ostenderim: Vale interim, & ut valeas cura, ut & me valere facias, & valentem conserveses.  
Amicus tuus tui amantissimus. R. K.  
Englished thus.  
WOrthy Master Doctor, I have sent you by this bearer, with these my Letters, my water to view, which men call the discovere● of diseases: I desire to understand by your letters, what evil it threatens, and what kind of disease it seemeth to betoken: view it therefore; and return me your opinion of it in writings and what present infirmity or imminent danger it doth foretell: as for the cure of it, I shall take your advice; concerning that counsel which shall be most convenient for it, when I have certified you (from mine own mouth) what malady most afflicts me, and have showed you (if my Urine should conceal it) what is the cause of it. In the mean time have a care of your own well- 〈◊〉, that you may make me well, and preserve my welfare also. And so fare-you-well.  
Your most loving friend, R. K.  
I confess that this Epistle doth give a Physician very little light of the disease, towards the pronouncing judgement of the same, yet not so little as the Urine. I can draw no conclusion from the words thereof, because I penned them myself. But from the circumstance of the words I gather these particulars. First that there was acquaintance between you and your Doctor, and that thereby he knew the complexion and constitution of your body, which conferred much to the giving judgement of your Urine: otherwise (if there had been no acquaintance between you) you would not have written unto him so familiarly; secondly, you did but leviter ●●rotare, were but a little sickish or ill at ease; or else you would not have been able to have written yourself for in a Violent disease (for the most part) men are in two or three days so debilitated in their bodies, and disturbed in their senses, that they cannot write: Thirdly, from the Urine ariseth this circumstance, that (as the water seemed not to import a violent disease) it did not seem to import any disease at all, save only that it was sent with your letters, to witness that you were not well. Fourthly, I presume, that the messenger, whom you sent with your Piss, could tell your Doctor (for I am sure he would demand that) that you walked up and down, but were not very well: all which circumstances being well considered and laid together, were light enough for your Physician to show how you were affected. I doubt not, but that your Doctor knew well how to make use of all such advantages, for else he would have been as lightly esteemed of all men, as you would have esteemed him, if he had not told you (as you think) your disease by your water. I will now pen his answer unto your letters, and then I will show you the fallacies of them; wherein you shall perceive, that the learnedst Clerks are not the wisest men, nor the craftiest Pisse-prophets so honest as they should be.  
DIfficilis admodùm (Domine doctissime) morborum, ex Vrinae solius inspectione, cognitio & investigatio: Quae verò inde noverim, ut me velis reforibere, ea recenseo laboras (ut opinor) a pituit â è stomacho in caput elevatâ, & rursus è capite in subjacentes partes distillante: quam verò partem opprimit, quamque viam affectat nescio: At m●hi suspicio orta est, ventriculum eandem praecipuè tenere, & nauseam tibi cum sibi fastidio adesse, unde nec cibum appetis nec estum digeris: Li●n praeterea, prae stomachi impuritate, vitio inquinatur, & inde cor tetro vapore feritur & caput: unde tristaris, & somni ca●entia, vel saltem tibi adsunt somni turbulenti. Venture cum hypochondrijs flatibus cruciatur. Videris etiam aliquantulum febricitare. Si quid omisi quod ex Vrinâ noverim, vel quod eadem non indicaverit, fac me ut sciam, & id tibi consilij genus (quod, ad morbum profligandum & ad pristinam sanitatem inducèndam erit aptissimum) suppedit avero. Vale, & ut valeas curo & cupio.  
Sanitatis tuae studiosissimus. H. C.  
Englished thus.  
THE discerning and finding-out (most learned Sir) of diseases, by the sight of the Urine only, is a matter of great difficulty: yet (as you desire me) I have written unto you what I discern by your Urine. You are (as I conceive) troubled with Rheum arising from your stomach unto your head, and from thence, distilling again upon the lower parts: but what part it most oppresseth, or what place it affects, I cannot well tell; yet I have great suspicion that it chiefly possesseth your stomach, and that your stomach is nauseous and joaths your meat, insomuch that you neither desire meat nor can digest it when you have eaten it. Furthermore, your Spleen is ill affected by reason of the impurity of your stomach; whereupon your heart and head are assaulted with a tetrous vapour, so that you are melancholic, and cannot take your rest, or at least have very troublesome sleeps: your belly and hypochondres are oppressed with wind: you seem also to be somewhat feverish. If I have omitted any thing that I discern by your Urine, or that your Urine doth not show, let me but know it, and I will supply you with that advice which shall be most convenient to profligate your disease, and to reduce you to your former health. I desire and study your welfare, so farewell.  
The most earnest Wisher of your health. H. C.  
This Epistle (Master Doctor) hath pleased your Patient, and you thereby have purchased a great deal of honour: your Latin he understands well enough, but the implied sense and meaning thereof he is not aware of, because he is not acquainted with the mystery of giving judgement of a Pisspot: I will therefore be so bold as to comment upon your Epistle, the better to help his understanding, and then I leave him to his own Genius to retain or reject his old opinion concerning judgement of diseases by the sight of the Urine.  
And now (Master Doctor for your Epistle) you begin it thus, first you write, That the discerning and finding out of diseases by the sight of the Urine only, is a very difficult matter.  
It is very true, Master Doctor, that you have said; it is a very difficult matter (indeed) to find out diseases by the sight of the Urine only, but these your words imply that it may be done, and that you yourself have arrived at the Haven of this knowledge, and that most other men have come far short of it. Herein, Master Doctor, that which you imply is merely false; for neither Hypocrates nor Galen, nor yourself (who think not yourself inferior unto them) did ever attain unto this knowledge: but however you will not be ashamed to assume and arrogate it unto yourself (because it is put upon you, and you can make a shift to delude such Novices,) and to derogate what you can from other men: and this is very common to you with most other men of our Profession. If you had written thus to your Patient (Sir it is impossible to give true judgement of diseases by the sight of the Urine only, which is but one of the many signs which together, with the knowledge of diverse other Symptoms (which the Urine showeth not, do determine the disease) you had said but truth, and showed yourself to have been an honest man. But hang honesty, what care you for it? so that you carry the matter so fair, that you be not caught in your knavery. You think, that if you had written so to your Patient, he would have suspected your skill, and therefore you will rather smother the truth to maintain this your pretended skill (though you be conscious to yourself that you are a Knave for your labour) than you will have your skill questioned, though you have spoken truth, and therein played the part of an honest man: for than you think you should likewise lose your Patient.  
Secondly, you say, That you have according to your Patient's desire, written unto him what you discern by his Urine. To which I answer, that if the Urine show you any thing, which I question much in such a case, you write a great deal more than you perceive in the water, and that (if you will be an honest man) you must often frustrate the desire and expectation of your Patients, which you may do, and yet give them content too, if you carry the matter discreetly.  
Thirdly, Master Doctor, you write, That your Patient (as you conceive) is troubled with Rheum arising from the stomach unto the head, and from thence distilling again upon the lower parts; but what part it most oppresseth, or what place it affecteth, (which is most true, but yet there will be no notice taken of these words) you know not.  
I answer unto this, that you do not (from the water) gather this, but from his complexion and constitution of body which you know and are acquainted withal: for neither doth any Urine so certainly betoken either Phlegm, Rheum, Choler, or Melancholy, but that (by reason of the diverse variations that it is subject unto) it may (falsely) pretend any of these humours to be predominant, and so be far distant from the conjectural and probable Canons of the Pisse-pot-science: but admit, Master Doctor, that this Urine had been brought you from a Stranger, whose constitution you had not known, I presume that you would have enquired very narrowly what constitution of body the sick party had been of, whether a lean spare, a gross and fat man, or of a middle temperature and habit of body, as also how long he had been sick, and whether he went up and down or no, before you pronounce your judgement of the Urine: and then, if it chance to be true that you speak or write, you can make him believe, that you perceive it by the Urine; but if it be false, that you have said, you can make it good.  
Fourthly, Master Doctor, you write, That you have a great suspicion (which is a word that might call you judgement into suspicion, but that your Patient is very confident of your skill, and therefore he will give it a favourable construction) that this Rheum did chiefly possess his stomach, and that his stomach was now become nauseous and loathed meat, and did not digest it being eaten: and your Patient believes that you perceive his stomach is possessed with this humour, & that you perceive also by it that his stomach is nauseous, desires not meat, nor digests it being eaten: but here, Master Doctor, you are too cunning for him; he writes unto you for your judgement of his Urine, and you are afraid, that if you do not satisfy his desire, he will seek advice somewhere else: you therefore think that you were as good deceive him as another man. You read his Letters, and they only desire your judgement of his Urine, but do not show you any thing how he is affected: you look upon his water, and that importeth no disease at all: you tell the messenger looking upon the water (as if you there perceived it) that he goes up and down, and the messenger answers that he doth. You likewise know his constitution to be spare and thin, and what humour is predominant in the complexion & temperature of the same. You take all these into consideration: and first collect that he is not very well, because he hath sent unto you his Urine; and desires your advice of it: Secondly, you conceive that he is not very ill, because he walks up and down, and his Urine doth not import any disease at all. Thirdly, you know his complexion to be (for so I suppose it) Phlegmatic. And now you conclude (he neither being sick nor well, and his complexion Phlegmatic) that he cannot have a good stomach to his meat, and therefore you determine the cause of his sickness to be Phlegm in the stomach: so you write unto him that he is troubled with Rheum in the stomach rising from thence, and distilling down thither again, caused nauseousness, and want of appetite and digestion, and your Patient thinks you perceive all these things by his Urine: never dreaming that you collect from the forenamed circumstances (namely his complexion, his going up and down, and his Urine not importing any disease) that he was troubled with Rheum in the stomch; nor once imagining that you add the nauseousness of his stomach, want of appetite and digestion, as consequent effects of this precedent cause (Phlegm in the stomach) but thinks that you perceive them all severally in the water: whereas indeed, you perceive none of them at all▪  
Fifthly, Master Doctor, you add, That your Patient's Spleen is ill affected by reason of the impurity of his stomach: and he thinks likewise that you perceive this in his water: if his Spleen be not ill affected at all, yet he will think it to be, because you say so: and if it be ill affected, it is not to be discerned in the Urine, but is (you well know) Cacochymiae soboles, the offspring of impurity, which followeth (very) often crudity of stomach.  
Sixthly, You further add, that his head and vital parts are assaulted with a noxious vapour proceeding from his Spleem, which makes him sad, and that he cannot take his rest, or at least that his sleeps are very troublesome, he still thinks that his water shows all this, not knowing that these are necessary consequences of a crude stomach and a Rheumatic constitution: he never considers, Master Doctor, (as you do) that those that are on the sudden distempered (though they be but a little ill) do not take their rest, or at lest have troublesome sleep: but thinks that the Urine (according to the several parts of it) doth show the disease of the several parts of the body: he therefore thinks, that the Circle shows the discases of the head, the Centre of the trunk or middle part of the body, and the lower part the diseases of the lower parts of the body: and so by consequence the disease of the Toe is to be found in the very lowest part of the Urine; but the pains in the head or Toes, are neither to be perceived by the upper-most or lower-most part of the Urine nor by any other part of it. Yet a silenced Minister in Kent, who was become an Aesculapius, being asked by a friend of mine (when he had, by this fallacious way of giving judgement upon an Urine, reckoned up a Pain in the head, amongst other Symptoms) whether he perceived by the Urine, that the party had a pain in the head, he answered, yes: look you here (quoth he) this Circle or Ring, by some marks that I perceive in it, doth show me that the party hath a pain in the head. He might as well have worn the Surplice, and baptised with the Cross, against his conscience, as to make a common practice of lying against his conscience wilfully.  
Seventhly, You add that he is troubled with wind in the belly & Hypochondres; which is likewise incident to Phlegmatic constitutions, but is not (as he supposeth) to be perceived in the Urine.  
Eightly, You add that he seemeth to be somewhat feverish: you do not perceive this in the water neither, yet you know that whosoever is not well doth (vel febre laborare, vel sebricitare) labour either of a Fever, or is feverish; and therefore you have added this to help at a pinch, for you know not certainly, but that his feverishnesse may be greater than you suspect: his heat may be such, as that he may expect that you speak something of his Liver, for he thinks that it is overhot; but you can tell him that he cannot have a Fever, but that his Liver must be inflamed. In fine (Master Doctor) whether he he have a Fever or no Fever, you have hit the nail on the head, and he believes that you have written nothing but what you perceived in the water; but if it please him to read an exposition upon your Letters, he shall perceive your cunning to be (vix frans honesta) scarce honest cozening. You determined his disease (as he told me) to be Flatus Hypochandriacus, when you saw him, that is, wind in those parts called the Hypochondres: but it was (as he confessed to me) Flatus Hypochondrunckicus, or (as I think I may fitly call it) the drunken Hiquet, ex crapulâ contractus, taken by a drunken surfeit. It skills not what his disease was, nor how he took it; I do not mean to scandal him for it, since he is recovered of it; I rather bestow this Recipe upon him, by the way of prevention, (Noli tu peccare ampli●ùs, ne Pejus tibi contingat) that he fall not into the like infirmity: and wish withal my heart, ut valeat & resipiscat, that he may enjoy his health with that greater happiness of that wisdom, whereby he may rectum distinguere falso, discern truth from falsehood.   

CHAP. X.  
I have here inserted another Epistle (out not in Latin) from a Revealed Divine, unto his cunning Ae●culapius, for his judgement of his wife's Urine, to know whether she were with child or no: I have likewise set down the Doctors answer, with an explication of the Aenigmatized fallacies, therein contained, darking the judgement of the learned, and making a specious show of a falsely assumed knowledge.  
WOrthy Master Doctor, my kind love salutes you etc. My wife being neither sick nor well, goes up and down the house, but is very puling: she hath a very, nauseous stomach, loathes meat, and if she eat any thing (which is very little, or of some very strange dish) she is ready to vomit it up again: she hath now twice miss (which she orderly enjoyed before) the natural benefit of her monthly evacuation: ever since which time, that she had them last, she hath been thus ill: and for the same cause, that she hath miss them, she suspects that she may be with child, or else is thus ill for want of them: I have here sent you her Urine, and desire you to vouchsafe to look upon it, and to resolve us whether she be with child, or what other infirmity she doth labour of, that we may (if she ●e not with child) prevent a worse danger in ●●me; I pr●y return your answer in writing; and ●o with my best wishes for your own welfare, that others may far the better for you, I bid you farewell, and rest.  
Your wel-wishing friend, J. H.  
REverend Sir, my best respects to yourself and your wife, do kindly resalute you both: your wife (you write) is neither sick nor well; you may then shife your hands of her, if you do not like sir, and tell her that you promised only to keep her in sickness and in health: but however (good Sir) I am sorry, as she is not sick, that she is not well, but not so much as otherwise I should be, because your kindness hath caused this neutrality of being neither sick nor well. Her nauseousness of stomach, loathing of meat, and vomiting after, it will ●●ortly cease, and the disease (which now troubles her stomach) will some seven months hence, be gotten into her arms. In the mean time it were not amiss for her to take something to corroborate her stomach, which she may very safely do, I have viewed her water, and can say no more than have done, unless to speak more plainly. I say with an 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 she is with child, and that almost a quarter gone, God send her a happy deliverance, when the time shall come, and (till then, and ever) health, and so prays,  
Your assured loving friend, H. P.  
This good Divine (as most of them are) is one who is possessed with this opinion, that the Urine doth show the disease, 〈◊〉 conception, and the like: yet haply hath heard that Vrina 〈◊〉 meratrix, the Water is a lying Harlot, but yet he thinks that a Physician (if he be his craft's master) can tell whether a woman be with child or no● because he heareth women clatter such things who have been thus deluded. He never stands to examine the truth of such predictions by the Urine, but supposeth that men are or should be honest in their callings. This I am sure of, that he is a loving man to his wife, for which I think him to be the honester man. He hath sent her Urine to a Doctor, and desireth him to resolve him from thence whether she be with child or no● or what other danger may be imminent. He writeth likewise, very punctual and carefully, how she is affected: namely, that she hath a nauseous stomach, loathes meat, longs after trifles, and is apt to vomit after she hath eaten: now all these are evident signs of Conception, if she be a childing-woman, and they do agree with other signs also, and if she find any such alteration in her body▪ as that she suspect the same: he likewise adds, that she hath not had her monthly benefit of nature, now this two months, which she enjoyed orderly before: & this witnesseth very strongly to the former signs that she is with child, and shows how long it is since she conceived of it: but the goodman (though he have read this in Aristotle, and Albertus) 〈◊〉 think that this is all the ground we have to conclude woman to be with child, but thinks that Hypocrates and Galen, and the common practice of viewing of waters, have taught us otherwise to distinguish the Sex, as also whether a woman be with child or no, by her water: but (good man) he is deceived; and which is worst of all, he hath partly deceived himself, for he hath written that unto his Doctor (though he do not know it) that shows his wife to be with child, and yet he desireth to be resolved from the water; and so his Doctor hath done: he hath read his Letters, and therein finds enough to his purpose, and a great deal more than the Urine showeth, from whence he may boldly pronounce her to be with child, though he never look upon the water at all: yet (having read the Letters) he taketh the Urine, and before the messenger that brought it) falls to peering into it, to seem to find that there, for which he hath brought it: and so he betakes him to his pen and ink, to answer these Letters, and (having descanted upon the former part of the Divines Letters, in such manner as you see in his answer, which showed him that the good Gentlewoman was with child) he now determines her to be with child, and that almost a quarter gone: which proving true, as it is very probable that it will, makes them the more admire this unsuspected juggling: for they are not aware that the sudden ceasing of the natural monthly benefit of a woman, together with nauseousness of stomach, longing 〈…〉 trifles, want of appetite, and vomiting after meat, are the most infallible signs of Conception by which we judge a woman to be with child, as indeed they are neither do they observe, that it is the most apt time for a woman to conceive immediately after that she hath enjoyed that natural benefit, as their Doctor doth: nor they do not conceive that the Doctor determines her to be a quarter gone with child, from the time that she enjoyed her natural benefit last, which (as her husband writeth) was now more than two months ago, which is almost a quarter, for two months is almost ten weeks, and ten weeks is a quarter of the time that a woman goeth with child from her conception according to the common computation of a woman's going forty weeks with child but they goodman and good-woman, think (as almost all the world beside themselves doth) that the Dr. perceives, by some signs in the Urine, the conception, as also how far a woman is gone with child: and the Dr. is very well contented that they should think so: but whatsoever they think you see what they are but fools) for their labour, and their Dr. but a Juggler at the best, for nursing them up in that false opinion. And now I hope that you conceive that there is no certain knowledge of any disease in the world by the Urine, much less of the 〈◊〉, Conception, party's age, and the like: you perceive likewise the fallacies whereby the Water-Prophet maketh the messenger to think that he perceives all these things in the Urine. You 〈◊〉 also that not only the rude multitude, 〈…〉 Clerks have been made both Greek fools, and Hebrew Asses, by 〈…〉, and these deceitful fallacies which I have showed: yet these are not all the tricks, and fallacies that Pisse-mongers have to deceive their Patients, or Pisse-messengers withal: but by these you may perceive how you may be a thousand ways more deceived; for by a little may be perceived what more is meant, and according to the old Proverb, Verbum sapienti sufficit, to the wise few words suffice. Let this therefore suffice, that hath been spoken, to show you how you are cozened, when you bring or send your water to a Doctor to cast: and from hence learn to esteem an honest plain-dealing Physician, according to his worth, who tells you that the water doth not show the disease, as you suppose, and the common Pisse-pot-casters do make you believe.   

CHAP. XI.  
Wherein, 〈…〉 how judgement of diseases by the 〈◊〉 of the Urine hath been upheld by confederacy, and other such like cozening tricks.  
AND now to add more credit unto that which hath been already said (although I have said more already than some would willingly hear, though no more than truth, and yet so much as might satisfy concerning the imposture and cozenage used in giving judgement of diseases by the sight of Urine only,) I will briefly subjoin some few sleights of confederacy, and other cunning tricks, whereby imposturs have beguiled the common people, and gained themselves credit, in maintaining the cozening Trade of Water-prophesying. 
What Confederacy is with whom this Confederacy is commonly made.  Now this confederacy is a plot or mutual compact made betwixt the Pisse-prophet and some servant (whether man or maid) or some other of his family, whom he hath deputed to that office, or else some Nurse, Midwife, Apothecary, or such like, who first set upon the messenger being come to the Doctors house telling them that the Doctor is not yet at leisure, and so fall to parley with the messengers, getting out of them all things necessary to the judging of the disease (as namely whose water it was, when the party was taken sick, and what other grievances the party laboured of) and then went or rather sent 〈◊〉 ●ther that stood by (who seemed to take no not 〈◊〉 of that which the messenger said to the inquisitor) to see if the Doctor were at leisure to speak with the messenger, who is in very great haste to be gone: Now this by-stander tells the Doctor (whose business was not so great, but that he might have come and dispatched the messenger at first, if his skill in Urine had been as good as he pretendeth, and is presumed upon by such as he thus gulleth) all that the messenger had related, who now comes forth and takes the Urine, and tells the messenger that the party is thus and thus affected, as his confederate had told him, which makes the 〈◊〉 messenger to think that he is a cunning man 〈◊〉 the judgement of Urines. And thus the Parson of Caverley was wont to deceive his patients, 
〈…〉 of this cozenage by confederacy.  and so gained the name of a cunning man; too many such Parsons and persons are suffered to abuse the common people in our days. Others have their Apothecaries or other attenders upon sick persons, for their intelligencers, who come beforehand, and tell them that such a one is thus and thus affected, and hath been thus long sick (and hath haply taken such or such means already) who means to send his Urine for his advice; I hope now the Doctor is provided to tell whose water it is, what is the disease, how long the party hath been sick, nay and what Physic the party hath taken; 
Another Dunce in Essex famous for this imposture. That by this cozening he determineth the conception, sex in the womb, & tells what Physic the party hath taken.  as useth a juggling Dunce in Essex (who hath gained by 〈◊〉 and the like knavish plots of confederacy 〈◊〉 credit than is 〈◊〉 such an illiterate 〈◊〉 as he is) who presumeth to determine the conception to a day, the sex in the womb, the place where the party lives, and what Physic the party hath already taketh, with so many other such knavish absurd cozenages, as I have not time, and should (if time did permit) be ashamed to relate. A learned Doctor, a much honoured friend of mine, told me that a Nobleman (a Patient of his) told him that he would undertake that this Juggler would tell by the Urine what Physic the party had 〈◊〉: 
That he determineth a man to have a pain in his right kidney 〈…〉 done but by confederacy.  And a Doctor of the Civil Law told me that he went as a stranger to him (as he thought) and carried him his Urine, who so soon as he saw it, told him that he had a pain in his right kidney, the which (as the Civilian told me) was true, but yet that the Physicianer perceived it in his Urine was a lie; I dare say that all learned Physicians will swear as much. This therefore must needs be done by confederacy, or else he had some accidental intelligence thereof by hearing himself speak of such a thing long before, or else by hearing some body else to speak of it, which is little better than confederacy. Such advantages are often made use of, for most people are (when they come in company with a Physician) telling of their infirmities, which they be oft subject unto, and Physicians take more notice thereof than they are aware of, and remember to make use thereof when occasion shall serve: Besides 〈…〉, that Physicians have that live in great 〈◊〉 Towns, and have much Country practice, whereby they come to know the disease, as also how long the party hath been 〈◊〉 without the sight of the Urine, and that is this, 
Another trick (not much unlike to confederacy) by which we come to know whose water it is, and the like, and may make the messenger believe the water shows us.  They never have any Urine brought out of the Country but that (so soon as they have dispatched the messenger) they ask if any body else be sick in their Parish or near about them; and so are often told that such or such have been thus long sick, and after what manner, and that they do mean to send to them very shortly; so that now they need to do no more but ask the messenger where he dwelleth, but that he knows the disease without looking upon the Urine, and can say (that this is such a ones, Urine) as doth the forenamed Juggler, and the party is, thus or thus affected, although the Urine do not show it. By this confederacy hath much people been much deceived, and many ignorant Rascals have got much credit, who have accommodated themselves to the humouring of the vulgar people and such as have not been able to discern the fucus or cloak of their cozenage; but I hope that henceforward it will appear more plainly unto them, by this little which hath been said to that purpose, so that I shall not need to enlarge myself any further hereupon, for than I should swell this small Pamphlet unto a large volume. Read it therefore and make 〈…〉 that end it was penned, viz. (〈…〉 evites) not to cozen, 〈…〉 avoid the cozener. And so I will now proceed to show you the lawful use of the Urine.   

CHAP. XII.  
That there is no judgement of diseases to be given by the Urine alone; that the Physician ought not to give judgement of the Urine, before he have strictly examined how the sick party is affected: how this base custom came up.  
YOu will now ask me: 
Obi●●. Answ.  What is there no use of viewing the Urine at all? I answer no: there is no use of viewing it alone without the consideration of other signs, symptoms and indications of diseases, which are not therein perceived: neither can a Physician prescribe Physic (by the sight of the Urine) with less danger, than if (it being granted that purging would cure, and blood-letting would kill his Patient) he should notwithstanding cast cross and pile which of these he should appoint. You will further object, 
Another Object. Answ.  that you suppose that a Physician will not prescribe before he have examined all circumstances needful for him to know. I answer, that no messenger can tell us that in all diseases; though (oftentimes) in many cases they can. Nay oftentimes they can not certify us any thing how the party is affected; but (with the very hazard of their 〈◊〉) expect that we should tell them what they 〈◊〉 by the sight of their Urine alone, and prescribe them Physic accordingly. But let such messengers learn to give their Physicians better instructions, or stay at home, unless the Patient be contented to put his life upon such a desperate chance. 
Another Object.  You will further object, that every one is not able to undergo the charge of sending for a Physician: and then what shall they do, if it be not convenient to send their water? 
Answ.  To this I answer, that it is true, that every one is not able to reward a Physician (especially in the country) for coming to see him: Let therefore such an one send for his Minister (who is of duty bound to do it) to ask his counsel unto what Physician to send, and entreat him likewise to write how he is affected, what age the party is of, of what sex, of what constitution of body, the strength of it at this present time, when the party was taken sick, and what other unusual symptoms the party now laboureth of: as whether he have a vomiting or looseness, or be extremely bound in his body, and how long it is since he was at stool; as likewise whether he have a cough, or stitch, or can take rest or no, or bleed or sweated, or be grievously pained in the body, and where the pain lieth; or whatsoever passion he suffereth: And then (on God's Name) let them also send their Urine to a Physician. And let the Physician (before that ever he vouchsafe to look upon the water) strictly examine all those, or the like circumstances that I have named: Then let him take the Water and look upon it, and pronounce the disease: But if he take the water, and begin to pronounce a description of a disease by the sight of the Urine alone, before he have examined those circumstances; he makes but a fool of thee, and is (for his labour) but an impostor, and a knave himself. I had not thought that this imposture had crept into this City, or been connived at by those that have power to suppress it: But here it is so exercised, that some refuse to be informed of those circumstances (to the end that they may purchase the more fame) till they have showed their juggling skill upon the Urine. A friend of mine told me (very lately) that he carried his Urine unto a Dutch Doctor (naming the man) to have his judgement of it: Now this man was so faint and weak, that he was fain to rest himself three or four times by the way, and had his disease written more manifestly in his face than in his water; and now being arrived at the Doctors house, and admitted unto his presence, he begins to tell the Doctor that he had nor been very well (which the Doctor perceived very well by his countenance) a good while, and that he had made hard shift to come unto him; and was ready, presenting him his Urine withal, to declare unto him further how he had been affected; but this Butterbox interrupted him, saying, I pray forbear to tell me any thing, yet I will tell you your disease by your water: Was this (think you) an hard matter to do, to tell the Gentleman (whose sickness was written in his forehead, who had told the Doctor that he had not been very well a good while, and whose complexion and constitution of body showed the Doctor what diseases he was most subject unto) what was his disease? He might have done that without the Urine, though his Patient had said no more unto him: Yet to show his Uromanticke skill to the end that his fame may be the more spread for the same, he takes the Urine (though he discern no disease by the same) and pronounceth his opinion from it. I hope you will (in time) perceive your own errors, and their juggling who pretend knowledge of diseases by the Urine; and so I have done with this juggling. I should now answer another objection, and question; 
Object.  and they are these, That it may be that I plead for the Physicians profit, to overthrow the judgement of Urines, that our fees may grow the greater for being sent for: 
Answ.  To this I answer, Let their moneys perish with them that think so, rather than I would be enriched by it. The question is this, 
Quest.  How this custom of giving judgement of diseases by it (since it shows no disease certainly) came up: 
Answ.  To this I answer, That covetousness in the common people, to save their money (because they saw Physicians to view the water at the Patient's 〈◊〉 house) caused them to send their waters likewise unto Physicians: And Pride in the Physicians, to show more skill than ever they had learned out of their Master Hypocrates, made this to become a custom, which is become a very strong Plea. I could show how this custom might be as soon abrogated; but since I have no power to put it into execution, I leave it to them (whose power insufficient to suppress it) if their care were correspondent. I will now show you your errors in the choice and change of your Physician, and give you some few directions for the choice of the most convenient Physician, for most men in their several places and callings, and according to their several abilities.   

CHAP. XIII.  
Errors committed in the choice and change of a Physician: Directions how to avoid these errors: Some Rascals nominated, who are usurpers upon, and abusers of the noble profession of Physic, and the honourable Professors thereof.  
THE errors that you commit in the choice of a Physician, are these: Either you choose an insufficient man, for his knowledge in Physic; or else one, who (though he be sufficiently qualified for his knowledge) is notwithstanding no fit Physician for thee. For the first, you are in the time of your sickness led either by your own fancy or by the persuasion of some friend to send for, or send unto such a man, who hath (they tell you) cured such a one of such a disease, when all other Doctors had given him over: or else because he giveth out some great matters of himself, and disableth all other honest learned Physicians, as doth Trig, alias, Markham, who predicates of himself to ignorant people, that he was Bachelor of Arts in Clare Hall, and Pupil and kinsman unto Doctor Butler in Cambridge, a Master of Arts of Saint john's in Cambridge, a Master of an Hospital, and one of the Fellows of the College of the Physicians in London, and all these lies: for he never was otherwise than a Shoemaker, bred and brought up, save only that he became a Last-maker; and is no other but an Ass (though he pretendeth great learning amongst silly people) who understandeth not one word of Latin. This Trig lives in a place called Captain Royden his lodgings over-against the Customhouse▪ Such another is Butler of Puddle Wharfe, a Glover, Fell-monger, or Sheep-skin-dresser, who should therefore be the better acquainted with the virtue of Aesipus, because it belongs to his Trade; but yet I dare say he knows not what it is. Such another is little Doctor George another Shoemaker, living about Westminster. And one Fashions an Horne-merchant, who furnisheth Apothecaries with Harts-hornes, and Stags pisces, and professeth great skill in curing Consumptions. To whom may be added Donnigton in moorfield's, who drencheth Asses (I do not mean the long eared ones as familiarly as he was wont to drench Horses, and burns children behind the ears for the Rickets. Unto such Knaves, or else to Witches and Conjurers (whom you term Cunning men and women) you are carried (though they are the most vile and base ignorant Asses in the world) with more confidence than to the most learned honest Physician that can be. And then if you chance to recover, you impute the cause thereof to such a Rascal, never considering that it was God's providence not (as yet) to take this party unto himself, and that this rascally Quack (for medicines used by an ignorant Quacke, are said to be poisons; but being used by a skilful Physician, they are said to be Gods own helping hand) did not kill this party, for it was (as they say) but haphazard. But if it happen that one of these Rascals kill his Patient (for so it falleth out too often) and some of your neighbours or friends question with you, Why you made use of such a Rogue; you are then as ready (to excuse your own foolery and wickedness) to excuse him too, and to say that the best Doctors cannot save a man's life when his time is come: and you think this is a sufficient plea to excuse yourselves for not using the best means: You will not afford an honest man the like favour, who hath used the best means that Art could lead him unto, if his patient should chance to dye, and satisfy yourselves (as you ought to do) in this case, that it was God's providence, but prosecute him with all the scandals, and slanders that you can, questioning withal his skill, the which you are no more able to judge of than a blind man of colours. So much shall suffice to have spoken concerning the errors you commit in making choice of such a one, for your Physician, who hath not been lawfully called thereunto, nor is sufficiently qualified with that knowledge, 
Who are not to be chosen, although they be able.  and those Arts that necessarily conduce unto the making of a Physician. Now you err likewise in making choice of an able man, when you make choice of the Kings or Queen's Physician, who for their sufficiency, it is not to be doubted but that they are skilful men: but yet, in respect of their attendance at the Court, and their much employment by persons of great quality, they are not the best Physicians for persons of mean condition; for they cannot give that due attendance unto such a Patient as his present necessity might require: Neither can you obtain his presence when it is most desired: And then you are constrained to call another, who (in respect that he knoweth not what hath formerly passed about the sick party) knoweth not what to prescribe without error on his own part, and danger to the sick party.  
You err likewise, when (being destitute of acquaintance with some able and convenient Physician for you) you make choice of a Physician by the garb, and habit wherewith he is accoutred; that is to say, his Beaver-Hat, his Plush-suite, with his cloak of, or at least, lined through with the same, his silk stockings, with all other such suitable ornaments to deck his person: thinking that there dwells Art alone, knowledge, and the Muses, because he is mounted upon the wings of Fame, which is no less mendacious & deceitful than an Harlot, or their Pisspot; the one whereof feigneth diseases, the other modesty. You err likewise, when (having haply made choice of an able and convenient Physician) you cast him off, because you do not presently obtain the sudden effect of the desired success. 
What Physicians are to be chosen.  But now to avoid the errors of making choice of an insufficient, or inconvenient Physician; Leave Trig, and little Doctor George to their A●le, and (Ne suitor ultra crepidem) let the Shoemaker not presume to go beyond his Last; Et Artem, quam quisque ●orit exerceat: Let every other man exercise that Art and faculty which he understands, and hath been bred up in: and let mean people, let Kings and Queen's Physicians alone, for those great personages whom they are to give attendance upon, and listen unto me a little, in directing thee in the choice of an able and convenient Physician in the time of a violent and dangerous sickness. Take therefore, (and that in time) such a Physician as is authorized and allowed, either by the Universities, or by the learned College of Physicians of London: In the choice of such a one, who is so allowed and approved of, have some respect unto his dwelling, and other employments; and consider with thyself whether by remoteness of place, or multitude of employments, he can give that attendance, that thy need may require. For in diseases of danger, it were very convenient that the Physician did see his Patient, (if it were possible) three times in a day: so he should often observe something or other in the sick party, that might divert him from his intended purpose, and direct him a safer way. Wherefore an honest neighbour is more convenient than a stranger remote, especially for the meaner sort of people, and those who are so poor, that their purses will not reach to the gratifying of a Physician for coming to see them with a fee: and let no man shake off that Physician whom he hath first entertained; but let him (if he please) take another Physician, or more into consultation with hi● first elected Physician, retaining him still. Let this (in brief) suffice to direct in the choice of a Physician, for I had no purpose to touch upon this subject, but only to show the fallacies and juggling, that is used in giving judgement of diseases by the Urine, with the dangers that insuethe prescribing of Physic by the sight of the same alone. If I have not therefore satisfied thee in this latter, read Doctor Cotta his book, called, A short discovery of the unobserved dangers of several sorts of ignorant & inconsiderate practitioners of Physic in England, wherein he hath (at the latter end) very learnedly set down a description of the true Artist, with directions for the Election of him in the time of sickness.  
FINIS.   

IStum tuum 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 tractatum non oscitanter percurri. De ●o siquaeras quid sentiam● Eum & doctrina & facetijs refertum esse existim●. Nec arbitror in eo quidquam contineri, quod possit bonorum aures offendere. Si quis sit quìsecus à me sentiet, ego illum habebo aut pro impostore, aut pro impostorum fautore. Quamobrem sim ego tibi Au●or eum publicandi. Nam hinc, & inibis apud omnes bonos gratiam, & perennem nominis famam tibimet comparabis. Neque est quod vereare, ne forte ex ejus evulgatione labes medicinae aspergatur. Honestae ejus praxi nullum hinc poter●t detrimentum accedere; non magis quam civitati illi dedecus in qua mercirices aut vapulant, aut exulant. Ex musaeolo meo ipsis Idibus Martijs anniab exhibito in carne Messia supra millesimum sexcentesimum tricesimi sexti.  
Tui si quis alius Studiosus, Alexander Read, M. D. atque ex numero soctorum Collegij Medici Londinensis.  
Impr.  
Tho. Weekes.