THE LIFE, CONFESSION, AND HEARTY REPENTANCE OF Francis Cartwright, Gentleman; For his bloody Sin in killing of one Master STORR, Master of Arts, and Minister of Market Rason in Lincolnshire. Written with his own hand.  PSAL. 51. 14. Deliver me from blood-guiltiness, O God, thou that art the God of my health: and my tongue shall sing of thy Righteousness. 
LONDON, Printed for Nathaniel Butter. 1621.   

Francis Cartwrights PUBLIQVE REPENTANCE FOR HIS BLOODY SIN.  
THree special Motives, besides the suggestion of the Spirit of God in my own soul privately, have enforced me to this public declaring myself.  
First, because my Acts have been committed before the face of Heaven, and in the eye of the World, I cannot think, but I am bound in conscience to give satisfaction to the offended world; that it may be as well a witness of my serious and most humble repentance, as it hath been a Spectator of those crimes which have justly vpbrayded my condemnation before the Tribunals both of God and Man. Verily, me thinks, I am like a Leper in the Congregation, whom every one will shun, nay, who is bound to say to others; Come not near me, for I am unclean. Every eye that looketh on me is a Dart to wound me with the remembrance of mine own guiltiness, every finger doth or may point at me, as a man forlorn of men. So unclean, so despicable shall I remain, till I publish and proclaim my uncleanness. Surely, there will be no rest in my bones by reason of my sin, until I have doubled the confession of my sin. I owe a duty of submission, not only to God himself, whose deepest curse I have deserved, but also to his Church and people, whom I have grievously scandalised. Nay, I owe a reparation to my own lost credit. Hath some deed of mine been in the foulest colours blazed to the world in print? So may, perhaps, my printed Contrition redeem my reputation from those obloquys it is almost buried in, as well as my near dead soul hath internally received a new life from the merciful breath of God, inspiring into it all compunction and just sorrow that may prevent his eternal judgement.  
Secondly, that since I have been deeply branded with shame of the world outwardly, and with the terrors of God, and scourge of conscience inwardly, my example may be a dreadful thunderclap of warning and affright to all, presuming and persevering Sinners, whom the hand of God will surely find out, and deeply wound with the Darts of his vengeance.  
Lastly, and chiefly, that by this Discourse of mine, the world may see the power and goodness of the Almighty, that hath not forsaken me when I fled from him and myself, but hath even then poured on me the freshest Balm of his mercies, when the wounds of my soul festered and stunk most, giving me leave to surfeit on sin, that I might loath it; to dye my hands in blood, that I might seek the blood of Christ to purify me; and to wallow in sensuality and security, that my true repentance at last might lodge me safe in the repose of a quiet conscience. Let it not therefore seem tedious to thee, charitable and compassionate Reader, to survey my Anatomy thus by myself disected, of which I will not leave one small vein or sinew undiscovered; but from my first, to this day, truly and ingeniously without extenuating partiality, lest so I should seem to cherish, not abandon mine own corruption; I will relate how miserable I have made myself in what I have been, how much recollected and revived I am, in what I now am; and how happy I hope to be, in what I resolve to persever in, till the consummation of my wretched life.  
First, my youth and morning of my days was clouded with a stubborn and headstrong disobedience to my Parents, the first and worst note of a desperate and obstinate sinner; to whom I so much forgot my own duty, that all their indulgence to me, I valued as their duties; their Counsels were diseases to my courses, their Monitions were irksome to my ears, because enemies of my riots, and their gentle chastizements the Contradictors of my lasciviousness; so that even then before I knew what it was to be, I had made myself nothing, and which is worse unsensible of any thing; their cares still followed me, and still my stubborness fled from them, to heap the hotter coals upon my head. Little did I regard that which most behoved me to learn and practise: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom, 
Prou. 1. 7, 8, 9  but Fools despise instruction. My son hear the instruction of thy Father, and forsake not the Law of thy Mother: For they shall be an ornament unto thy head and chains about thy neck.  
Upon this foundation of my disobedience, the Devil began to build a Mansion for himself to inhabit, and so grew my soul a Cage of unclean Birds, wherein many foul sins were bred, and grew to such strength, that I was mastered by them: One Impiety begat another, yet still I thought myself not sufficiently fleshed in wickedness, till I defaced the Image of God, first in my own soul, by hatred and revengeful malice; then in another's body, by homicide. O frightful remembrance! O the deep sting, O the dismal sound of this crying sin! Wretched man that I am. Was it not heinous enough for me to kill a man, but I must by my fury be put on such a one, whose Coat and quality added many degrees to the foulness of the Murder; a Minister of God's Word, mine own Pastor and Watchman of my soul, Master William Storr, Master in Arts, who being a zealous detester of my lewd courses, and both in private and public using sharp reprehensions to me and of me, did thereby kindle in me an hatred, not of mine own lewdness, but of his person? I might perhaps by way of extenuation say, that had he used greater words and milder reprehensions to me, he might by God's blessing have plucked me out of the snare of Satan, and so had prevented this shortening his own days by my hand. I might say that my distemper was enraged by his unseasonable corrosives, which might perhaps have been allayed and cured by gentle Balms. But I utterly disavow all abating any part of my crime: I stand forth here to accuse, to arraign, and to condemn myself, not to use defences or mitigations, much less like to our first parents to put off my fault, and lay it upon others: Nay, I dare not so much as catch at Fig-leaues to cover my own shame. I proclaim my worst deformities, that others seeing them and hating them, may now pity my person▪ and comfort my soul.  
Being thus enraged against him, and resolving to execute some notable revenge upon him; I did not (as the Searcher of all hearts witnesseth with me) intent more to him then some slight wounding, as the manner I took him in may in some sort witness: the place being public in the sight of many, myself unready, and unprovided for my own safety by flight, which I should have ordered my coursefor, had my intent been murderous.  
But here it pleased God in his just judgement, for my hardness of heart and contempt of his Word and Commandments, to give over my hand to wound deeper than my heart intended. Woe is me, my heart bleedeth to think, how deep my Sword pierced. The enemy of Mankind was a Murderer from the beginning, he got such dominion over me, that he made my Sword and hand his Servants, and so made me like unto himself, a bloody manslayer. So must I needs acknowledge myself, because my heart, though not before so intending, yet as principal is guilty of that which my hand did in the heat of fury. True it is, and alas, woe is me for it, I gave him diverse wounds, whereof within eight days he died, yielding up that soul which justly craved for vengeance upon me for dissevering it from the body. This done, I retired and saved myself by flight withal conveniency I could, & with a resolution to recover Scotland, after many dangerous escapes I attained to Berwick; where I was for the fact apprehended; and from thence (though it were a Garrison observed with all strictness) I made a strange escape, and thence over-land I went towards Plymouth, in which passage, though I avoided all the waylayings to prevent me, at Warwick I was questioned in susspition of a Robbery, but for that my innocence could not be frighted, though still the guilt of the other fact pursued me, but neither so retired or safe was I, that my being freed from the hand of justice, could either free my body from God's judgement, or my mind from fearing it, carrying ever with me a distressed conscience, that like a troubled Sea tossed me to and fro, yet never so left by God's mercy, that I had not ever a true and sensible feeling of what I had done, though my distractions directed me not a course which way to redeem myself; the horror of my fact and despair fight against me on the one side, my viewing and considering of God's mercies opposing that on the other, till thus in the following dangers and calamities of my life, which after I shall show, God hath by threatening me with unheard dangers, always following me, and yet never hurting, as if his Providence would not leave one hour of mine to such security, as might make me presume that he had forgotten to punish me, longer than I remembered to be mindful of my sins, and renew my Repentance for them.  
Myself, with my load of sin and guiltiness, being thus then from Dartmouth, shipped in a Vessel bound for Saint Malo●s in France, Almighty God knowing the corruption of my nature, lest I should forget his power and myself, in this seeming safety of mine, commanded the Winds and Seas to war against our poor Bark, which provoked a more fearful tempest within me, than could be threatened without, though we spent our main Mast by the board; for than I began to remember that excellent saying of the Psalmist, Whither shall I go from thy spirit? 
Psal. 139. 7, ●.  or whither shall I fly from thy presence? Let me take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the Sea▪ yet thither shall thine hand lead me, and thy right hand hold me, etc.  
Then much more than before, my conscience waked my sleeping soul, and the wounds I had made were bleeding before me; in this danger God vouchsafed us his mercy, and set us safe on shore in the I'll of Garnsey; there should I again have been examined (as usually Passengers are) to give account what I was, and whither I would, and so in likelihood should have been discovered. But this I shifted off by getting into a small Boat: and so unknown, I passed from Garnsey into France, to the Roads, and so to Roan, where I lived about six months; being at length exposed to as much misery, as perplexity could lay on a friendless Stranger in an unknown Land. These sufferings still brought me home to my self, and nearer to God, in the true acknowledgement of my vild fact; and his mercy in the extremest wrack of my want; see the Providence of God my still Preserver. Three ships of the States came to Calais to receive money, lent by the States to the French King; with whom like a restless man, being at that present relieved with money by my Father, I shipped myself, and from Rotterdam I came to Delphe, where Sir Francis Vere entertained me a Gentleman of his Company; during my abode in that service, I received continual solicit for my amendment, repentance, and comfort from one Master Trigg of Longledenham in Lincolnshire a godly Preacher, whose daily Letters quickened and seconded that good work the Lord had already begun in me. My Father had by this time, being the year 1603. procured my Pardon, and sent for me home, for which I was no sooner shipped; but still observe how God followed me with mercy, and threatening judgement; lest my pardon from my Prince, should make me careless of his better forgiveness, and negligent in the begging it. The Seas must again swell as angry to bear my sins, and as if all these dangers of Rocks and Seas had been to little, our Tempest beaten Vessel must be chased by a Dunkarker Man of War, so that their was no hope left to save us from these dangers, but his Omnipotent hand, which safely from all these delivered me once again on English ground.  
Scarce was I entertained at home, but least still I should nestle myself in a secure slumber, another affliction arose to endanger me. The wife of the slain sueth an Appeal against me, notwithstanding my Pardon, against which her Plea, by reason of some error in the form of it, I obtained a defence or defeat, called, Ne recipiatur: yet after this was, my Pardon questioned at the Bench of Assize for about five years together, the judges of that Circuit still binding me over, and refusing to give allowance to it: Which I acknowledge (though it were Summum lus against me) yet that it was very honourably and judge-like done of them, in so notorious a Crime as mine. As also his Majesty himself, by whose extraordinary grace I enjoy my breath, was in point of justice very willing that some defect, if possible, might have been found in my pardon, and so should I have undergone the just stroke of the Law: which not only others, but even myself wondered how I could escape. Thus the terrors of deserved death were still knocking at the doors of my ears and heart.  
In all which troubled time, new provocations were daily offered me, whereby I was in danger to draw more blood upon me, or make myself uncapable of my pardon; all which things God suffered me to be temped with, but not to fall into, in the mean while, my Father was taken away from my troubles, and out of this World, I resolved to have gone again out of this Land; in which time I hoped with my earnest Repentance, to obtain forgiveness from my God, and a new acceptance at my return into the bosom of my offended Country: but the Appeal being crossed, and finding my Pardon firm, I altered that determination, and prayed to God to bless me with a Wife, with whom I might in an honest life wear out my days, and retire myself to God and the settling of my conscience. To this end I solicited a Gentlewoman, in which suit of mine, many dangers laid siege to me, and by the most means that ever man did; I scaped the depriving of my life, by four men which assaulted me with Halberds, and grievously wounded me; running me thorough the body, and giving me grievous wounds.  
How just, O Lord, had it been that I, by whose hand the life of a man was spilt, should have been made a due Sacrifice though not to justice, which if I escaped, vet to revenge, which I deserved: Yet though left for dead by this assault, it pleased God to preserve my life: I hope to my further repentance, and his better service.  
This done, my Pardon yet wanted allowance by Sir Peter Warberton, who enforced me publicly to submit myself to the Church, and so in the Convocation house before my Lord's Grace of Canterbury, and the rest of the Reverend Bishops and Clergy in the Parliament time; I did acknowledge my fault, and gave testimony of my Contrition and Repentance, and made a true profession of my Religion; and then the said worthy judge and judge Wamsley, gave allowance to my Pardon.  
Thus freed from the external punishment of the Law, and my mind thereby the better settled for my inward content; I bestowed myself in Marriage, in which God gave me the blessing of a Father in my Posterity, and thus retired my civil life, wove me again into the opinion of my Country, and conversation of the Ministry, from which, before my Fact had justly excommunicated me; Master Doctor Hooke, now Archdeacon of York, then entertaining me a sojourner in his house, with my Wife and Family; he and other Ministers of those parts affording me their conference, comforts and society. Yet lest my past troubles and vexations of body and mind, should foolishly make me hope; that I had made an ample satisfaction to God and the World, the Omnipotent Power had destined a new trial for me; and in the midst of my seeming peace, I must be exposed to a War almost as fearful as the first, as if by doing new mischiefs, I should only be made capable of satisfying for the old, or by losing myself again, I should thus be found the second time my first Repentance insufficiently perfected.  
My occasions drawing me to Grantham, unhappily, I encountered with one Master Riggs, a man urged by his own rashness (as I conceive it) to seek his own fall by my hand, that I being made the luckless instrument of his death, might then truly see that God was not at atonement with my soul for the first, when he permitted me to be a Destroyer of a second: unmoved by any occasion of mine, grossly, and strangely, three or four several times he heaped injuries upon me, beyond the temper of any humane sufferance, unless, in those with whom the Spirit of God had more residence than yet it had with me, nor satisfied with this but he must needs pursue me, though avoiding him and in my way home assaulted me with his Sword, of whom I received hurts; but in conclusion, by me he fell; his wound being dressed, the Surgeons warranted life, but the work of the Lord is beyond the imagination of likelihood, or the frail apprehension of weak man: It was otherwise for my greater punishment determined by him: but on the assurance of his Dressers; I was bailed, and when the news of his death came unlooked for, I was persuaded to fly, which for these two causes I utterly refused. First, and principally, I knew & had before tried that I could not fly from the wrath of God, though I were covered with Mountains, or hid in the Caves of the Earth; and therefore rather desired (if so it pleased him to accept of my poor life as a Sacrifice for the blood I had spilt) willingly, and patiently to lay myself on the block of death. Secondly, my Wife and innocent Children, must needs have been by my flight exposed to all ill sufferings for my guilt; my Wife widowed and comfortless; my Children Fatherless and destitute, and my estate which my stay might save for them thus confiscated. For these causes, was I apprehended, and in a moment ravished from all I delighted in, having nothing left to feed on but my Despair, had not God sent me inward comfort, no companion, but miserable and afflicted thoughts, no house to dwell in but a Prison and no Comforter; (I mean outward) but jobes', the scorn and reproach of all my Friends, and Acquaintance. In this miserable Exigent, I arraigned my soul, which still had nothing to plead, but guilty, a hopeless Plea; so that had not my still preserving God, who though I forsook him, never yet forsook me, sent me infinite comforts and assurances by two daily visiting godly Ministers, Master Buddle, and Master Atkinson, I should there I fear, have proved my own Executioner, and have died despairing. By their good means, I began with a lively faith to lay hold on the merits of Christ, and rest my weary, sick and staggering soul upon his Cross.  
Master Buddle never leaving me, the time of Imprisonment and Irons. For which the Lord give to him, and all my just and merciful Friends, mercy to his and their houses, as Paul prayed for Onesiphorus who was not ashamed of my chains, and never left me till he had removed from me a desperate opinion I was falling into, that God hated me from the beginning, every thing being so cross to me from my birth, in which he satisfied me, that it was for sin: and that God hated none but for sin, of which, if I repented, and truly turned to God, I should find God his favour towards me, and that these afflictions would be good for me.  
New troubles yet (behold) assailed me, and now the Lord began to visit me every way as in myself, so in what was nearest and dearest unto me, my only Child for whose means of living, I had exposed myself to the stroke of death, was touched by the angry hand of God (hopeless of recovery) his wretched Mother weeping, the Bell tolling, his Grave prepared, and which was a doubler of my torment, myself like a condemned Galley Slave, led in Irons to see his departure. The grievousness of this spectacle struck a sudden amazement into me, and then I began earnestly, and faithfully to beseech God not to lay my sins on the head of my innocent Child, but to turn his merciful face towards him, howsoever his divine justice intended to dispose of me; My gracious God heard me, and past and beyond all earthly hope and mean; in an instant restored him to health.  
Now the time of my trial for Master Riggs came, where though my judge was severe in respect of my past life; and not trusting the under-sherife, did himself choose out a jury of men of the better fashion to judge upon me without partiality, yet upon the Evidence of my avoiding him, I was not found guilty of Murder, charged upon me in the Indictment, but of an inferior degree. At which time being adjudged without bail to suffer a years imprisonment, I felt again the hand of God upon me by visiting my said Son in a strange manner, that all men might take this for a terrible note of his judgement, and rather than accidental or natural disease, he was crippled and taken lame in all his limbs, and deformed in all proportion, as if the Lord had in him figured the lameness and deformity of his Father's soul. About 4. years this continued on him & then God in his good time restored him to perfect health and ability of body, leaving me this use of all his judgements which have threatened me and mine, that like an Indulgent Father ●e hath still shaken the Rod over me, but not laid it on me; that I might fear to offend him because I see his power; and love and seek him because I taste his mercies.  
My freedom at the years end, purchased I had not, yet in all these sufferings buried the old man so much in me, as that there remained not to much of him in my corruption, (notwithstanding all these extremes) most of my Estate I sold to satisfy such engagements as my troubles had pawned me in, the surplus of which, I dedicated not (I confess) that pious way I ought either in settling my then unsettled self in any honest Calling, or converting my left stock to good employment, but borrowing too much liberty from God's mercy, I gave myself to my Pleasures, which I called lawful Recreations, though in themselves not unlawful, being moderately used, yet surely very much unbeseeming such a Penitent as I was, or aught to have been; and as if this had been nothing, I went far further; and put my money out to Usury; for which, my Curse was to be utterly cheated of the most of it, because God in his infinite goodness saw, that whilst I had any thing left to feed my vanities withal, I could not be made wholly and fully his.  
Thus having disposed myself of all ways and power to live and maintain my Family here, I began to lay this to myself, that God had deservedly and justly taken from me all that I was Master of, and to praise him for so gentle a chastisement, and that now it lay upon me by invocating his blessing, and endeavouring myself in any course (how difficult soever) to leave something by my labours purchased for my Wife and Children, since my sins had made them destitute, never despairing, but that it might please God to preserve me, and fully to provide for me; to this intent I was an earnest Suitor about the Court, to some Acquaintance of my wives; only for employment, foreign or domestical, such as their discretions should judge me fit for▪ In this Court-hope, I languished long, till my necessities strained my patience, every course failing me, on which I built. At last no way was left me, but to ship myself for Argeares in the last Fleet; depending still on the mercy of God, and resolving to serve faithfully and resolutely in all such actions my Commander should impose on me.  
In a Ship called the Vanguard, Vice-admiral of the Fleet, I was appointed by the General to the Command of Sir Richard Hawkins, a Gentleman, from whom I received noble respect, and worthy favours; yet God that would not yet possess me of any certain quiet either in Friends or Fortunes, though my resolution were fixed to all Conformity, and my desires wholly dedicated to the redeeming my lost Credit with some good Action, still exagitated my Companions with secret heart-burnings against me, and for the Lord was angry with me, to whom could I be acceptable; he being at war with me, from whence should I expect peace, these my enemies, by daily provoking on purpose to tempt me so far that my fury might forfeit my life, and make me forget myself and God: that had not my wise Captain prevented it, by giving me leave to depart home, I am afraid, I had confiscated my life to Marshal Law, and heaped more blood upon my sinne-drenched Soul. Thus was I deprived of all the comforts I resolved of, and forced thus to return home, rather as it may be thought with an addition of shame, than Garland of Honour; for God knew how good soever to myself this course seemed, it was not fit for me, neither was the time of my peace yet come.  
In a Ship called the Marigold of London, I was by my Captain provided for to come home, when in the very Road of Malaga, in the face of the Fleet, and beginning of our Voyage we had like to have perished, had not the Lord again extended his mercy. Two other English Ships hoisting sail with us, our Ship was foul of another Ship which lay at Anchor in the Road, and when she should have looffed, she fell the contrary way, as seeming unwilling to venture herself at Sea with so heavy a burden as I was charged with; the Sea was exceeding high, nor could the ship work, being ever foul of one Ship or another, and in spite of all art and labour could be by the Mariners employed she would to shore, as if she desired to spew me out of her sick bowels; and had she not in midst of all these dangers by the letting fall of an Anchor been stopped, she had inevitably split upon a Rock that was then menacing her. Away were our Companions gone to Sea, and we thus left, than began I to fear, lest the Seamen should lay all this misadventure on me, and prayed fervently that the Lord would not that way punish me, but for his mercy sake deliver us. With much labour and more fear, at length we put to Sea, where we had not long been, but on this side the straits of Gibiralter, when we were almost past fear; still the judgement of God pursued me, lest I should forget: Five Turks men of War bore up with us; and like the fear of these, the Sea had none; to resist we were unable, though we addressed ourselves for fight, and to be taken Slaves to Infidels and Vassals, to the common enemies of Christ, oh what can cruelty more device to punish with; or the trembling heart of dejected man more fear to suffer under! Yet from this gaping mischief the Lord provided an unexpected delivery, for those which are by nature the devourers of men, proved our Deliverers. Two Lions we had aboard us, which they knew sent from Argears a Present to our King, for which cause in all likelihood they left us without spoiling, that present intimating a League of Amity betwixt our Nation and their Town; this I applied to my soul, and confessed the wonderful Works of God.  
Parted thus from the Turks, all the rest of our time at Sea till we made Land, was for the most part frighted with all the hideous fears that salt Region is full of, so that I suspected myself still, and applied all to mine own heart, as well the dangers as deliverances; assuring myself, that such judgements could follownone but me, and such redemptions none but such the Lord had reserved for some good Worke.  
At Deal I landed, and in my way to Chatham, as I was hastily coming out of the hired Coach which I came in; my Sword suddenly fell out with the point up, nor could I stop myself: but violently with all my weight I fell upon it; yet the Lord turned the harm from me, and betwixt my arm and body it slided: of which escape, then and now I make this use; that though I had scaped the threatenings of the Seas, the fury of the Turks; myself had that about me the Lord could destroy me with, in my greatest security, which had I perished in, would have proved the fearfullest of all that ever threatened. That I by whose unhappy Sword, two before had fallen, should now after the Law was appeased, and all my recited dangers scaped, be exposed to an exemplary and wretched end upon my own Weapon, for in the unlikeliest means, more horror still aggravates the judgement.  
Francis   

Francis Cartwrights RESOLUTION AND RELIGION.  
THus my Life hath been an heavy burden to me, continually pressing me down. And although in my youth, I was truly taught the true and sound Religion, how to fear, honour and serve God; in so much that I durst not presume to run wilfully into sin, or to live and continue in sin without Repentance: Yet so far at length the subtleties of Satan, the allurements and pleasures of the World, mine own natural frailties, and my want of Temperance and judgement prevailed and overmastered me; that I presumed of the name of Faith, and of God's Mercies towards me, and gloried in mine own estate and condition while I compared myself with some others, whom I perceived so much to neglect God, as that they only used Policy, and made Religion only a Cloak; and I blind and miserable wretch so presumptuously thrust myself on God's mercies, without regard to God's Laws.  
So from hence have proceeded all other evils and mischiefs which have befallen me. Hence it is that I have so fearfully fallen, and so grievously and heinous sinned against God, committing these outrageous sins which I would not have committed for the saving of my life, and for the expiating and ransoming of which, after that I had acted and committed them, I would willingly have given my life, if it could have been accepted for a satisfaction. And God, for these my sins, giving me over; I wasted my Estate by Suits, not abating mine expenses as my Estate wasted: whereby I see plainly that God's heavy and dreadful hand hath haunted and pursued me not only for my cruel and bloody sin committed upon Master Storr, but also for my other sins and transgressions which I have committed, sometimes presuming too much, and sometimes despairing of God's mercy. So that now being as it were, brought to the stake, and as a miserable distressed man put upon the Rack; I am inwardly forced to make confession of my sins, open profession of my desires, purposes and resolutions, and give account of my Religion before Almighty God and the World.  
I do see and observe Gods fearful judgements upon all notorious Sinners from Adam until this present Age, not only testified and recorded in the holy Scriptures and in profane Histories, as for example upon Cain, Saul, Achitophel, judas, Herod, and cruel Nero, and such like; but even also daily executed before our eyes, as upon Varney, Dansecar, Percy, Catesby, Wright, and all such Murderers, Traitors, Pirates, thieves, and unjust persons.  
Sir Francis Varney an Englishman borne, and living here in Sensuality until he had spent his Estate, went to Sea, and became Pirate. And falling in at Argears, and there for some small time remaining, he fell in love with a Whore or Prostitute, but she being subtle, would not incline to him without marriage; nor marry unless he would forsake his profession of Christ and turn Turk. He enraged with Lust after this Whore (became Turk) and presently married her, which he no sooner had done, but a Dog, which Dog before waited on him and loved him; assaulted and fell upon him suddenly, most Lion or Tygre-like, as though he would instantly have devoured him: but being rescued, yet the Dog in that rage tore the Calves of his legs. And yet a further judgement fell upon this Varney, for (albeit the Turks for some small time, gave him command and office) in the end they cashiered him, and being taken by the Spaniard, judged him to the Galleys, where he wrought as a Slave, until he died most miserably.  
Danseker a Dutchman being a Pirate at Argears, though he turned not Turk, yet he was as it is reported, murdered by them of Argears privately.  
An Heathenish Pagan, Infidel, or Atheist, I am not: Neither am I of the Romish Religion, though (I confess) there are many carnal reasons which do persuade me to embrace and put in practice some of their Opinions and Doctrines, as praying to Saints; because I hold myself unworthy to pray to God Almighty, Purgatory that I might have an end of torment, and not remain under eternal wrath and Vengeance in Hell: Merit or satisfaction by Fryerly austerity.  
For such as I whose conscience is burdened, are held fit to be new moulded and tutored in their Monasteries, and set upon strange and hideous Exploits, for redemption of themselves, and good of that Church. Besides, I have had many favours & courtesies from some noble and zealous persons of that Religion, the loss of which I do willingly sustain for this mine open profession. Yea, being by God's heavy judgements plunged into the depth of extremities, I have been beholding to some of the learned among them, and can now, if my conscience would suffer me, be entertained among them, either into their Cloisters, or for the Wars; and be esteemed and sufficiently relieved with necessaries: whereas I am now neglected by mine own Nation, who all seem to verify in me that saying of DAVID, God hath forsaken him, pursue and take him. And though all this be come upon me, yet, I profess, I do not incline to believe the Romish Doctrines of the Mass, Transubstantiation, Merit, justification by Works, and such like. I acknowledge that all the glory of our salvation is due to God, who worketh all in all. And to our Lord jesus Christ we owe all the thanks, who by his own sufferings, and with his most precious blood hath satisfied the Law, pacified God's wrath, paid our debt and ransom, and canceled the bond.  
And if they of mine own Religion here in this Church of England should utterly refuse me, forsake and cast me off, yet will I still hold this opinion, and thus reverently esteem, think, and speak of this Church and Religion, and will choose rather to live in concontinuall penury, then to be of another mind: For I am sure, this Religion is that which is taught in God's holy Word, and therefore I must needs believe it; As for the doctrine of the Church of Rome, I could never find comfort in it, only in that which they deny to Laymen, that is, the reading of the Scriptures do I find true ground of consolation.  
True it is, that simple and unstable men may abuse their reading of the Scriptures unto error, and by God's gracious promises therein recorded, may take occasion to presume and trust too much to their own Faith and God's Mercies: But this ought not to make us disclaim or to neglect the daily reading of God's sacred Word; for there is no means like to this so powerful, to keep men from committing of sin; nor after sin committed, to uphold them from falling into final Desperation.  
For my part, I have desired as much as any Sinner that ever was, the content of this World's base sinful Pleasures, Riot, Vainglory, Revenge, Excess in Prodigality, and the like: But these crosses and calamities befalling me. The reading of the Scriptures accompanied with the sweet Conference and Comfortable Letters of merciful learned men, who have dealt with me those ways in England, and by writing to me into the Low Countries, (among whom I cannot omit to name with reverence and thankful acknowledgement, Master Trigg, Master Buddle, Master Crashaw, and of late at Lambeth, Master Doctor Goad▪ and Master Doctor Featly, etc. unto whom I have sued as the woman did to Christ, even for Crumbs falling from our Saviour's Table) have most powerfully opened mine eyes, and enlightened mine heart and soul to see, seal, and taste God's judgements and Mercies, mine own sins and transgressions, the peace of conscience, the difference of Sinners penitent and impenitent. Cain, Saul, Achitophel, and judas, their despair; and the confession and repentance of David, Peter, and the rest of God's Saints.  
Seeing David that great anointed King and all the renowned Servants of God, have confessed their blood guiltiness and other foul sins, and have repent of them, and openly exclaimed against them: Shall I a wretch not worthy to be named among the meanest of all dejected Sinners, think it a shame to me, and blush to confess my sins, and openly to publish my grief and repentance? Especially (seeing) now all the World; Learned Men, God's Messengers, Friends, Enemies, the Troubles and Miseries which I have sustained, the peace and torment of Conscience which I have felt, do provoke me, teach me, drive me to confess my sins and offences, offending and transgressing the Laws of God.  
I here (therefore) in bitterness of soul, confess my faults, and cry out against all my sins committed from my birth to this present, from Master Storr his blood; to every hurt and wrong which I have done to any, in deed, word, or thought: not only for my cruelty and revenge done to men, but for that I have since also thought it lawful to defend myself with Sword, contrary to the Laws of God, when I might perhaps better have done it by other means.  
It wounds me to think of my blasphemous oaths uttered in passion and distemper. My disobedience to my Parents, my excess, my drinking of healths, my prodigality: yea, my eating and drinking of more than to suffice nature, and my feeding of Horses, and Dogs with man's food, such as many good Christians wanted; expecting of the blessing for my faith without works, and for believing without living of a sanctified life, or truly following of a lawful calling; my open and secret sins, my many motions to sin, and too much yielding to Satan's subtleties and mine own imperfections, vain and light disposition, proneness to Anger, Pleasure, Distrust, Despair, my presumption when God showed any miraculous deliverance, or any mercy to my soul, body or estate.  
All these are as a terrible Army of so many deadly foes, and like so many Swords and Spears entering into my heart and soul. When I consider with myself mine own uncertain condition, how when I have thought myself safe and sure, I have found immediately that I have been most uncertain and in greatest danger; and when in greatest danger, by God's help and power most secure; how in every pleasure and calamity I have found a bait, and in every bait an hook; and that though for the space of ten years' last, I have had a resolution not to sin with purpose; but rater to dye: yet by mine own weakness and wilfulness in passion, I have fallen into so innumerable and so abominable sins, and have as it were trampled under foot the blood of the Son of God, and returned like the Dog to his vomit, and like the Swine to the mire, by my continual falling; repenting from the bottom of my heart, for all and every sin which I have committed from my birth, to this moment.  
And upon the knees of my heart, do with such humble desire and affection, as the difference requireth between the Mighty and Almighty Commander of Heaven, Earth, and Sea; and me one of the greatest Sinners in the World, a wretched vile worm of no reputation: yea, with as servant and vehement importunity as ever any Thief did crave pardon, or child mercy and forgiveness, do I beg and sue for pardon of God the Father of our Lord jesus Christ, the seer of the secrets of all hearts, for his mercy's sake, whose mercies are over all his works, whose mercy prevaileth and rejoiceth against his justice, and whose loving kindness lasteth for ever.  
Upon his promises made unto us in his holy word, do I build all my hope and confidence, even such as these following: viz. That though our sins be as Crimson or Scarlet, he will make them white as Snow, 
Esay 1. 1●.  or Wool. That at what time soever a Sinner doth repent, he will put out all his iniquities; that if they would turn from their wickedness, and do righteousness, they shall not dye but live, That he hath Balm of Gilead to heal the weak and sick. Also upon these promises of our Lord jesus, God equal with his Father, who saith, Come unto me all ye that travel and be heavy 
Mat. 25.  laden, and I will ease you, etc. His disgraces, reproaches, troubles, tears, sighs, groans, thorns, scorns, whipping, spitting upon, beating, stripes, sweeting, nailing, hanging, wounding, bleeding out his heartblood, Passion, Death, Resurrection, and Ascension are so many Salves and Medicines to cure my bleeding soul. His blood speaketh better things than the blood of ABEL, and the cry thereof overcometh the voice of Master Stors' blood, and of all other my loud crying sins which call to Heaven for vengeance. And therefore with this his blood which hath satisfied for all temporal and eternal punishments, do I come sprinkled before God, and for the price and satisfaction made by this blood, do I cry for mercy, mercy, and earnestly desire grace to live hereafter an holy and righteous life. I am a Christian and a penitent Sinner: how can I despair or doubt of salvation, knowing Gods infinite Mercy and Truth? that he is not only a God of Mercy ready to pardon but also a God of Truth, who will truly fulfil his word and promise of pardon; upon men's true Repentance, as of justice in punishing them, who persist in sins committed. Why should I be afraid to touch the hem of my Saviour's garment; seeing his promises are made unto me, his satisfaction for me, and for such Sinners as I am, he did undergo all his sufferings, from the prick of the Thorn to the wound with the Spear; from his first groan, to his last act of passion, his grave and burial to his Resurrection and Ascension into Glory? Me, thinks, those blessed words of the Apostle are spoken not only to me, but of me; jesus Christ came into the World to save Sinners, of whom I am the chief. Can I repenting doubt? Can I being a Christian be so base as to be ashamed to confess the Faith of our Lord jesus Christ. Can I have more content, or aim at more than to be a Christian Convert and a true Penitent, seeing there is no higher honour in the world to be aimed at, no glory comparable to be a true Christian? Can disgrace, poverty, calamity, height, or depth, life or death, sin or the Devil daunt me? They cannot, they cannot, for I find God a light to me in the midst of darkness, and a refreshing comfort in all calamities. In so much that when I am in the deepest despair for my sins, in the greatest agonies and horrors of conscience and most bitter passions, thinking with myself what an Estate I once had, and how poor I am now? How I was valued, now despised, how they who esteemed me living in sin, do now refuse me repenting of my sin.  
What great cause of discomfort it is to me, that I cannot nor am able to have the breeding, or to enjoy the sight of my Children being Infants, for whom I would suffer death, having no refuge but to be a Soldier or serve: yet still even when I am thus dejected, and cast down as low as sin, misery, and the Devil can cast me down: I do not let go my hold, but do cleave to God and am upholden by him continually.  
When it is manifest that none of these things can tempt and allure me either to remove my Religion which I profess, or to forsake my Lord jesus Christ whom I should forsake and forgo, if I should resolve to live in Theft, piracy or any other sin: That I have time to publish this I am fully satisfied my soul is at rest: I am less careful of my life a thousand times, not desperately but humbly yielding myself to God; if I starve, perish, die by the Sword, be taken captive by the Turk, and live a most miserable Slave all my days: Yea, come woeful life or shameful death I will trust in God though he kill me, and will never fly from him.  
And here (I profess) and protest before God and the World, that as I have dishonoured God, stained myself with blood in a most vile and abominable manner, and defiled the honour of Religion to the great scandal and offence of many: So I do now with all my heart desire, if I may be thought worthy, and have a due calling thereunto, to stand with my Sword in my hand, and to expose myself to the greatest dangers in the World; in the most bloody Battles, Fire or Sword, where God may show extraordinary Mercy or judgement, in the defence of the Gospel and of true Christian Religion. And as I have basely slain a Minister of God's Word, so in defence of the men of God, the faithful Ministers of his Word in this Church of England, I may in any breach or danger interpose myself even between them and death, and defy and withstand all their Enemies, or any other ways yield myself to God's judgements, Trials, Corrections, and Directions, in a Vocation how low and mean soever, and never turn Capuchin, or take upon me any Popish and Superstitious Vow and profession of austerity which is a fit refuge for Cowards, cain's and judasses'.  
Though my sins are innumerable and abominable which still hang fast on me, and cleave as rust unto my corrupt nature: yet I have the Balm of Gilead, the blood of jesus Christ; the mercy of God, and the Divine Power of Heaven to countervail them all. Yea, I have many marks and tokens of God's grace given to me, and of his mercy showed towards me which do much refresh my soul.  
As first, that I ask and sue for mercy at no other power, but at the hand of God for our Lord jesus Christ's sake, and so in the right way to the Fountain of Life.  
Secondly, That I find great content and comfort in wrestling against flesh and blood, and all mine own corruptions, and in maintaining to the Devil's face my Religion, Faith, Hope, Repentance.  
Thirdly, That I hold my certain and resolute determination, as an armour against his fiery Darts, and do still lay fast and sure hold on our Lord jesus Christ, hoping to persever and hold out to the end.  
Fourthly, That I have peace of conscience more than the World is worth, which if I never had tasted nor known but were as an Heathen or Turk, I should with the World (holding that for blood, vengeance must haunt without Redemption, and so being frighted with Furies unknown and endless) grow desperate, and like Varney and Dansekar, die with bloody content in revenge, or prosecute till death piracy or Theft, to mitigate my endless tormenting miseries, and to leave my Children an Estate, though never so unjustly got.  
Fiftly, That I cannot be brought to deny Christ, or to doubt that there is a Christ, nor be pulled from believing in Christ, and hope to be saved through him, by the Devil, nor all my sins, if I had all the sins in the World upon me.  
Sixtly, That I am delivered from the danger and infection of the Romish Religion. For if I were of that Religion, I would attempt any sinful course, as Theft or piracy to relieve my wants in hope of Pardon, Penance or Purgatory, (for no punishment should terrify me, let it be whatsoever it could be, even Purgatory itself, so it might have end I would willingly endure it, if so be it might procure me pardon, and under that condition grant me liberty to sin) I should with them of that Religion hold that justice must be satisfied necessarily upon Sinners in this World, and that by our own bodily sufferings, sin must be expiated, and there is no avoiding it. And so I would seek by voluntary earthly punishment in this life to satisfy justice, by turning Pilgrim or Capuchin.  
Yea, I am assured that our Lord jesus hath satisfied for all punishments of vengeance both temporal and eternal, though I have endured or should hereafter undergo all miseries and calamities, and even a most bitter and painful death, yet I do not account them any satisfaction or expiation, my blood cannot satisfy for blood; I may if God should so dispose, have a bloody end, as a just reward of my sin, I cannot deny it: but what can satisfy to justify? Surely none of mine own miserable calamities can make any part of satisfaction, that is a thing which I utterly disclaim; only the blood and satisfaction of jesus Christ is that on which I do lay hold and rely by Faith for justification.  
Yet because not only the Majesty of God hath been deeply offended by my heinous transgressions, but also his Church greatly scandalised, and the minds of my grave Fathers and dear Brethren in Christ no less deeply wounded in their compassion for him that died by my hand, than himself was in his passion and bodily dissolution, whose many wounds bleed a fresh in my eyes and memory: I profess myself ready and willing to endure whatsoever other humiliation this blessed Church hath or shall impose upon me, for the further assurance of my satisfaction to her, which may in some sort suit with the depth of my offence against her and her Children.  
Verily as I abhor Popish satisfaction, derogating from the merits of Christ's blood, so I with others more learned than myself; wish that the ancient Discipline of the Primitive sincere Church were more throughly revived in every scandalous crime by public confession, submission and satisfaction to the Christian Congregation. Wherein myself desire as much to go beyond others in my humiliation, as I have exceeded all in my presumptuous transgressions. With offensive, but penitent Ecebolius, in the Ecclesiastical History, I say of myself; Cast me out, tread upon me for unsavoury Salt.  
FINIS.