EASTWARD HOE. As It was played in the Blackfriars. By The Children of her majesties Revels  
Made by GEO: CHAPMAN. BEN: JONSON. ION: MARSTON.  
AT LONDON Printed for William Aspley. 1605.   

prologus.  

NOt out of Envy, for there's no effect  
Where there's no cause; nor out of Imitation  
For we have evermore been Imitated;  
Nor out of our contention to do better  
Than that which is opposed to ours in Title,  
For that was good; and better cannot be:  
And for the Title if it seem affected  
We might as well have called it, God you good Even:  
Only that Eastward; westwards still exceeds,  
Honour the suns fair rising, not his setting;  
Nor is our Title utterly enforced,  
As by the points we touch at, you shall see;  
Bear with our willing pains, if dull or witty,  
We only dedicate it to the City.    

EASTWARD HOE.  

Actus primi, Scena prima.  Enter Master Touchstone, and Quicksilver at Several doors, Quicksilver with his hat, pumps, short sword and dagger, and a Racket trussed up under his cloak. At the middle door, Enter Golding discovering a goldsmiths shop, and walking short turns before it. Touchstone. 
AND whether with you now? what loose action are you bound for? come what comrades are you to meet withal? where's the supper? where's the supper? where's the rendezvous?  Quick. 
Indeed, and in very good sober truth, Sir.  Touch. 
Indeed, and in very good sober truth Sir? Behind my back thou wilt swear faster than a french foot boy, and talk more bawdily than a common midwife, and now indeed and in very good sober truth Sir: but if a privy search should be made, with what furniture are you rigged now? Sirrah I tell thee, I am thy master William Tutchstone Goldsmith: and thou my Prentice Francis Quicksilver: and will see whether you are running. Work upon that now.  Quick. 
Why Sir I hope a man may use his recreation with his masters profit.  Touch. 
Prentices recreations are seldom with their masters profit. Work upon that now. You shall give up your cloak though you be no Alderman. Heyday, ruffians hall. Sword, pumps, here's a Racket indeed. Touch. uncloaks Quick.  Quick. 
Work upon that now.  Touch. 
Thou shameless Varlet dost thou jest at thy lawful master contrary to thy Indentures?  Quick. 
Why 'zblood sir, my mother's a Gentlewoman: and my father a justice of Peace, and of Quorum, and though I am a younger brother and a prentice yet I hope I am my father's son: and by God's lid, 'tis for your worship and for your commodity that I keep company. I am entertained among gallants, true: They call me cozen Frank, right; I lend them moneys, good; they spend it, well. But when they are spent, must not they strive to get more? must not their land fly? and to whom? shall not your worship ha, the refusal? well, I am a good member of the City if I were well considered. How would merchants thrive, if Gentlemen would not be unthrifts? How could Gentlemen be unthrifts if their humours were not fed? How should their humours be fed but by whit meat, and cunning secondings? well, the City might consider us. I am going to an Ordinary now; the gallants fall to play, I carry light gold with me: the gallants call cozen Frank some gold for silver, I change, gain by it, the gallants lose the gold; and then call cozen Francke lend me some silver. Why—  Tou. 
Why? I cannot tell, seven score pound art thou out in the cash, but look to it, I will not be gallanted out of my moneys. And as for my rising by other men's fall; God shield me. Did I gain my wealth by Ordinaries? no: by exchanging of gold? no: by keeping of gallants company? no. I hired me a little shop, fought low, took small gain, kept no debt book, garnished my shop for want of Plate, with good wholesome thrifty sentences; As, Touchstone, keep thy shop, and thy shop will keep thee. Light gains makes heavy purses. 'tis good to be merry and wise: And when I was wived, having something to stick too, I had the horn of Suretyship ever before my eyes: You all know the devise of the Horn, where the young fellow slips in at the Butt end, and comes squeezed out at the Buckall: and I grew up, and I praise providence, I bear my brows now as high as the best of my neighbours: but thou-well look to the accounts, your father's bond lies for you: seven score pound is yet in the rear.  Quick. 
Why 'slid sir, I have as good, as proper gallants words for it as any are in London, Gentlemen of good phrase, perfect language, passingly behaved, Gallants that wear socks and clean linen, and call me kind cozen Frank, good cousin Frank, for they know my Father; and by god; lid shall not I trust hem? not trust?  Enter a Page as inquiring for Touchstones Shop. Golding. 
What do ye lack Sir? What be't you'll buy Sir?  Touchstone. 
I marry Sir, there's a youth of another piece. There's thy fellow-prentice, as good a Gentleman borne as thou art: nay, and better meaned. But does he pump it, or Racket it? Well, if he thrive not, if he outlast not a hundred such crackling Bavins as thou art, God and men neglect industry.  Gold. 
It is his Shop, and here my M. walks. To the Page.  Touch. 
With me Boy?  Page. 
My Master, Sir Petronel Flash, recommends his love to you, and will instantly visit you,  Touch. 
To make up the match with my eldest daughter, my wives Dilling, whom she longs to call Madam. He shall find me unwillingly ready Boy. Exit Page.  
there's another affliction too. As I have two Prentices: the one of a boundless prodigality, the other of a most hopeful Industry. So have I only two daughters: the eldest, of a proud ambition and nice wantonness: the other of a modest humility and comely soberness. The one must be Ladyfied forsooth: and be attired just to the Court-cut, and long tail. So far is she ill natured to the place and means of my preferment and fortune, that she throws all the contempt and despite, hatred itself can cast upon it. Well, a piece of Land she has, 'twas her Grandmothers gift: let her, and her Sir Petronel, flash out that. But as for my substance, she that scorns me, as I am a Citizen and Tradesman, shall never pamper her pride with my industry: shall never use me as men do Foxes; keep themselves warm in the skin, and throw the body that bore it to the dunghill. I must go entertain this Sir Petronel. Goulding, My utmost care's for thee, and only trust in thee, look to the shop, as for you, Master Quicksilver, think of husks, for thy course is running directly to the prodigals hog's trough. husks Sra. Works upon that now.  Exit. Tuch. Quick. 
Mary seek goodman flatcap: 'sfoot though I am a prentice I can give arms, and my father's a justice a peace by descent: and 'zblood—  Goul. 
Fie how you swear.  Qui. 
'sfoot man I am a Gentleman, and may swear by my pedigree, God's my life. Sirrah Goulding, wilt be ruled by a fool? turn good fellow, turn swaggering gallant, and let the Welkin roar, and Erebus also: Look not Westward to the fall of Don Phoebus, but to the East; Eastward Hoe, 
"Where radiant beams of lusty Solemnising appear,  
" And bright Eovs makes the welkin clear.  We are both Gentlemen, and therefore should be no coxcombs: let's be no longer fools to this flatcap Touchstone. Eastward Bully: this Satin belly, & Canvas backed Touchstone; 'slife man his father was a Maltman, and his mother sold Gingerbread in Christ-church.  Goul. 
What would ye ha' me do?  Quick. 
Why do nothing, be like a gentleman, be idle the curse of man is labour. Wipe thy bum with testons, & make Ducks and Drakes with shillings: What Eastward hoe. Wilt thou cry, what be't ye lack? stand with a bare pate, and a dropping nose, under a wooden penthouse, and art a gentleman? wilt thou bear Tankards, and mayst bear Aims? be ruled, turn gallant, Eastward hoe, ta lyre, lyre, ro., Who calls jeronimo? speak here I am: gods so, how like a sheep thou look'st, a my conscience some cowherd begot thee, thou Goulding of Goulding-hall, ha boy?  Gou. 
Go, ye are a prodigal coxcomb, I a cowherd's son, because I turn not a drunken whorehunting rakehell like thyself? Offers to draw, & Goulding trips up his heels and holds him.  Quick. 
Rakehell? rakehell?  Goul. 
Pish, in soft terms ye are a cowardly bragging boy. I'll ha' you whipped.  Quic. 
Whipped, that's good i'faith, untruss me?  Goul. 
No, thou wilt undo thyself. Alas I behold thee with pity, not with anger; thou common shot-clog, gull of all companies: methinks I see thee already walking in moor fields without a Cloak, with half a Hat, without a band, a Doublet with three Buttons, without a girdle, a hose with one point and no Garter, with a cudgel under thine arm borrowing and begging three pence.  Quic. 
Nay 'slife, take this and take all: as I am a Gentleman borne, I'll be drunk, grow valiant, and beat thee. Exit.  Goul. 
Go thou most madly vain, whom nothing can recover but that which reclaims Atheists, and makes great persons sometimes religious: Calamity. As for my place and life thus I have read:  

whate'er some vainer youth may term disgrace,  
The gain of honest pains is never base:  
From trades from arts, from valour honour springs,  
These three are founts of gentry, yea of Kings.   Enter Girtred, Mildrid, Bettrice, and Poldauy a tailor, Poldauy with a fair gown, Scotch Varthing all, and French fall in his arms, girted in a French head attire, & citizens gown; Mildred sowing, & Bettrice leading a Monkey after her. Gir. 
For the passion of patience, look if sir Petronel approach; that sweet, that fine, that delicate, that— for loves sake tell me if he come. O sister Mill, though my father be a low capped tradesman, yet I must be a Lady: and I praise God my mother must call me Medam, (does he come?) off with this gown for shames sakes, off with this gown: let not my Knight take me in the City cut in any hand: tear't, pax on't (does he come) tear't of. Thus whilst she sleeps I sorrow, for her sake, etc.  Mil. 
Lord sister, with what an immodest impatiency and disgraceful scorn, do you put off your City tier: I am sorry to think you imagine to right yourself, in wronging that which hath made both you and us.  Gir. 
I tell you I cannot endure it, I must be a Lady: do you wear your coif with a London licket; your stammel petticoat with two guards, the Buffin gown with the Tuftaffitic cape, and the Velvet lace. I must be a Lady, and I will be a Lady. I like some humours of the City Dames well, to eat Cherries only at an Angel a pound, good; to die rich Scarlet black, pretty: to line a Grogaram gown cleane thorough with velvet, tolerable; their pure linen, their smocks of 3. li. a smock are to be borne withal. But your mincing niceries, taffeta pipkins, durance petticoats, & silver bodkins:— Gods my life, as I shall be a Lady I cannot endure it. Is he come yet? Lord what a long knight 'tis! And ever she cried shout home, and yet I knew one longer, and ever she cried shout home, fa, la, lie, re, lo, la.  Mil. 
Well Sister, those that scorn their nest, oft fly with a sick wing.  Gir. 
Boe-bell.  Mil. 
Where Titles presume to thrust before fit means to second them, Wealth and respect often grow sullen and will not follow. For sure in this, I would for your sake I spoke not truth. Where ambition of place goes before fitness of birth, contempt and disgrace follow. I heard a Scholar once say, that Ulysses when he counterfeited himself mad, yoked cats, and foxes, and dogs together to draw his plough, whilst he followed and sowed salt: But sure I judge them truly mad, that yoke citizens and courtiers, trades men and soldiers, a goldsmiths daughter and a knight: well sister, pray God my father sow not salt too.  Gir. 
Alas, poor Mil. when I am a Lady, I'll pray for thee yet i'faith: Nay, and I'll vouchsafe to call thee sister Mil still, for though thou art not like to be a Lady as I am, yet sure thou art a creature of Gods making; and mayest peradventure to be saved as soon as I, (does he come?) And ever and anon she doubled in her song.  

Now (Ladies my comfort)  
What a profane Ape's here!  
tailor, Poldavis, prithee fit it  
fit it: is this a right Scot?  
Does it clip close? and bear up round?   Pold. 
Fine and stiffly i'faith, 'twill keep your thighs so cool and make your waste so small: here was a fault in your body, but I have supplied the defect, with the effect of my steel instrument which, though it have but one eye, can see to rectify the imperfection of the proportion.  Gir. 
Most edifying tailor! I protest you Tailors are most sanctified members, and make many crooked thing go upright. How must I bear my hands? light? light?  Pold. 
O ay, now you are in the Lady-fashion, you must do all things light. Tread light, light. I and fall so: that's the court-Amble. She trips about the stage.  Gir. 
Has the Court near a trot?  Pold. 
No, but a false gallop, Lady.  Gir. 
And if she will not go to bed Cantat.  Bett. 
The knights come forsooth.  Enter Sir Petronell, M. Touchstone, and Mistress Touchstone. Gir. 
Is my knight come? O the Lord. my band? Sister do my cheeks look well? give me a little box o' the ear that I may see me to blush: now, now. So, there, there, there! here he is: O my dearest delight, Lord, Lord, and how do my Knight?  Touch: 
Fie, with more modesty.  Gir. 
Modesty! why I am no citizen now, modesty? am I not to be married? you're best to keep me modest now I am to be a Lady.  Sir Petro. 
Boldness is good fashion and courtlike.  Gir. 
ay, in a country Lady I hope it is: as I shall be. And how chance ye came no sooner knight?  Sir Petro. 
Faith, I was so entertained in the Progress with one Count Epernoum a Welsh knight: we had a match at balloon too, with my Lord Whachum, for four crowns.  Gir. 
At Baboon? jesu! you and I will play at Baboon in the country? Knight.  Sir Pet. 
O sweet Lady: 'tis a strong play with the arm.  Gir. 
With arm, or leg, or any other member, if it be a court-sport. And when shall's be married my Knight?  Sir Pet. 
I come now to consummate it; and your father may call a poor Knight, Son in Law.  M. Touch. 
Sir, ye are come, what is not mine to keep, I must not be sorry to forego: A 100. li. Land her Grandmother left her, 'tis yours, herself (as her mother's gift) is yours. But if you expect aught from me, know, my hand and mine eyes open together; I do not give blindly: Work upon that now.  Sir Pet. 
Sir, you mistrust not my means? I am a Knight.  Touch. 
Sir, Sir; What I know not, you will give me leave to say, I am ignorant of.  Mistress Touch. 
Yes, that he is a Knight; I know where he had money to pay the Gentlemen Ushers, and Heralds their Fees. ay, that he is a Knight: and so might you have been too, if you had been aught else then an Ass, as well as some of your neighbours. And I thought you would not ha' been Knighted, (as I am an honest woman) I would ha' dubbed you myself, I praise God I have wherewithal. But as for you daughter.—  Gir. 
I mother, I must be a Lady tomorrow: and by your leave mother (I speak it not without my duty, but only in the right of my husband) I must take place of you, Mother.  Mistress Touch. 
That you shall Lady-daughter, and have a Coach as well as I too.  Cir. 
Yes mother. But by your leave mother, (I speak it not without my duty but only in my husband's right) my Coach-horses must take the wall of your Coach-horses.  Touchstone. 
Come, come, the day grows low: 'tis supper time; use my house the wedding solemnity is at my wife's cost; thank me for nothing but my willing blessing: for (I cannot feign) my hopes are faint. And Sir, respect my daughter, she has refused for you wealthy and honest matches, known good men, well moneyed, better traded, best reputed.  Gir. 
Body a truth, Chittizens, Chittizens. Sweet Knight, as soon as ever we are married, take me to to thy mercy out of this miserable city, presently, carry me out of the scent of Newcastle Coal, and the hearing of Boe-bell, I beseech thee down with me for God sake.  Touch. 
Well daughter, I have read, that old wit sings:  

The greatest rivers flow from little springs.  
Though thou art full, scorn not thy means at first,  
He that's most drunk may soonest be a thirst.  
Work upon that now.   All but Touchstone, Mildred, and Goulding depart. 
No, no; yond stand my hopes.  Milared, 
Come hither daughter. And how approve you your sister's fashion? how do you fancy her cho ye? what dost thou think?  Mil 
I hope as a sister, well.  Touch. 
Nay but, nay but how dost thou like her behaviour and humour? speak freely.  Mil. 
I am loath to speak ill: and yet I am sorry of this, I cannot speak well.  Touch. 
Well: very good, as I would wish: A modest answer▪ Goulding, come hither: hither Golding. How dost thou like the Knight. Sir Flash? does he not look big? how lik'st thou the Elephant? he says he has a castle in the Country.  Gould. 
Pray heaven, the Elephant carry not his Castle on his back.  Touch. 
Fore heaven, very well: But seriously, how dost repute him?  Gould. 
The best I can say of him is, I know him not.  Touch. 
Ha Gulding? I commend thee, I approve thee, and will make it appear my affection is strong to thee. My wife has her humour, and I will ha', mine. Dost thou see my daughter here? she is not fair, well-favoured or so, indifferent, which modest measure of beauty, shall not make it thy only work to watch her, nor sufficient mischance, to suspect her. Thou art towardly, she is modest, thou art provident, she is careful. she's now mine: give me thy hand, she's now thine. Work upon that now.  Gould. 
Sir, as your son, I honour you; and as your servant obey you.  Touch. 
Sayest thou so, come hither Mildred. Do you see yond fellow? he is a Gentleman (though my Prentice) & has somewhat to take too: a Youth of good hope; well friended, well parted. Are you mine? You are his. Work (you) upon that now.  Mil. 
Sir, I am all yours: your body gave me life, your care and love happiness of life: let your virtue still direct it, for to your wisdom I wholly dispose myself.  Touch. 
Sayst thou so? be you two better acquainted. Lip her, Lip her knave. So shut up shop: in▪ We must make holiday.  

This match shall on, for I intend to prove Ex. Gol. & Mil.  
Which thrives the best, the mean or lofty love.  
Whether fit Wedlock vowed twixt like and like.  
Or prouder hopes, which daringly o'er strike  
Their place and means: 'tis honest Time's expense.  
When seeming lightness bears a moral sense.   
Work upon that now. Exit.   

Actus secundi. Scena Prima.  Touchstone, quicksilver, Goulding and Mildred, sitting on either side of the stall. Touch. 
quicksilver, master Frances quicksilver, master quicksilver? Enter quicksilver.  Qui. 
Here sir; (ump.)  Touch. 
So sir; nothing but flat Master quicksilver (without any familiar addition) will fetch you: will you truss my points sir?  Quick. 
I forsooth: (ump.)  Touch. 
How now sir? the drunken hiccup, so soon this morning?  Quick. 
'tis but the coldness of my stomach forsooth.  Touch. 
What? have you the cause natural for it? you're a very learned drunkard: I believe I shall miss some of my silver spoons with your learning. The nuptial night will not moisten your throat sufficiently, but the morning likewise must rain her dews into your gluttonous weasand.  Quick. 
An't please you sir, we did but drink (ump, )to the coming off, of the Knightly Bridegroom.  Touch. 
To the coming off an'him?  Quick. 
I forsooth: we drunk to his coming on (ump, )when we went to bed; and now we are up, we must drink to his coming off: for that's the chief honour of a Soldier sir, and therefore we must drink so much the more to it, forsooth. (ump.)  Touch. 
A very capital reason. So that you go to bed late, and rise early to commit drunkenness? you fulfil the Scripture very sufficient wickedly forsooth.  Quick. 
The Knights men forsooth be still o' their knees at it, (ump )& because 'tis for your credit sir, I would be loath to flinch.  Touch. 
I pray sir, e'en to 'em again then; you're one of the separated crew, one of my wives faction, & my young Ladies, with whom & with their great match, I will have nothing to do.  Quick. 
So sir, now I will go keep my (ump )credit with 'em an't please you sir.  Touch. 
In any case Sir, lay one cup of Sack more alyour cold stomach, I beseech you.  Quick. 
Yes forsooth. Exit. Quick.  Touch. 
This is for my credit Servants ever maintain drunkenness in their masters house, for their masters credit; a good idle Serving-man's reason: I thank Time, the night is past; I near waked to such cost; I think we have stowed more sorts of flesh in our bellies, then ever Noah's Ark received: and for Wine, why my house turns giddy with it, and more noise in it then at a Conduct; ay me, even beasts condemn our gluttony. Well, 'tis our cities fault, which because we commit seldom, we commit the more sinfully, we lose no time in our sensuality, but we make amends for it; O that we would do so in virtue, and religious negligences; But see here are all the sober parcels my house can show, I'll cavesdrop, hear what thoughts they utter this morning.  Enter Goulding. Goul. 
But is it possible, that you seeing your sister preferred to the bed of a Knight, should contain your affections in the arms of a Prentice?  Myl. 
I had rather make up the garment of my affections in some of the same piece, then like a fool wear gowns of two colours, or mix Sackcloth with Satin.  Goul. 
And do the costly garments; the title and fame of a Lady the fashion; observation, and reverence proper to such preferment, no more inflame you, than such convenience as my poor means and industry can offer to your virtues?  Mil. 
I have observed that the bridle given to those violent flatteries of fortune, is seldom recovered; they bear one headlong in desire from one novelty to another: and where those ranging appetites reign, there is ever more passion than reasons no stay, and so no happiness. These hasty advancements are not natural; Nature hath given us legs, to go to our objects; not wings to fly to them.  Goul. 
How dear an object you are to my desires I cannot express, whose fruition would my masters absolute consent and yours vouchsafe me, I should be absolutely happy. And though it were a grace so far beyond my merit, that I should blush with unworthiness to receive it, yet thus far both my love & my means shall assure your requital; you shall want nothing fit for your birth and education; what increase of wealth and advancement the honest and orderly industry & skill of our trade will afford in any, I doubt not will be aspired by me; I will ever make your contentment the end of my endeavours; I will love you above all; and only your grief shall be my misery; and your delight, my felicity.  Touch. 
Work upon that now. By my hopes, he woes honestly and orderly; he shallbe Anchor of my hopes. Look, see the ill yoked monster his fellow.  Enter quicksilver unlaced, a towel about his neck, in his flat Cap, drunk. Quick. 
Eastward Hoe; Holla ye pampered jades of Asia.  Touch. 
Drunk now down right, a, my fidelity.  Quic. 
(ump )pulldo, Pulldo; show quoth the Caliver.  Goul. 
Fie fellow quicksilver, what a pickle are you in?  Quic. 
Pickle? pickle in thy throat; zounes pickle? wa ha ho, good morrow knight Petronel: morrow lady Goldsmith. come of, Knight, with a counterbuff, for the honour of knighthood.  Goul. 
Why how now sir? do ye know where you are?  Quic. 
Where I am? why 'sblood you loulthead where I am?  Goul. 
Go to, go to, for shame go to bed, and sleep out this immodesty: thou sham'st both my master and his house.  Quick. 
Shame? what shame? I thought, thou wouldst show thy bringing up: and thou wert a Gentleman as I am, thou wouldst think it no shame to be drunk. Lend me some money, save my credit, I must dine with the serving men and their wives; and their wives sirrah.  Gou. 
e'en who you will, I'll not lend thee three pence.  Quic. 
'sfoot lend me some money, hast thou not Hyren here?  Touch. 
Why how now sirrah? what vain's this, hah?  Quic. 
Who cries on murder? lady was it you? how does our master? pray thee cry Eastward ho?  Touch. 
Sirrah, sirrah, you're past your hickup now, I see you're drunk.  Quic. 
'tis for your credit master.  Touch. 
And hear you keep a whore in town.  Quic. 
'tis for your credit Master.  Touch. 
And what you are out in Cash, I know.  Quick. 
So do I. my fathers a Gentleman, Work upon that now; Eastward hoe.  Touch. 
Sir, Eastward hoe, will make you go Westward ho; I will no longer dishonest my house, nor endanger my stock with your licence; There sir, there's your Indenture, all your apparel (that I must know) is on your back; and from this time my door is shut to you: from me be free; but for other freedom, and the moneys you have wasted; Eastward ho, shall not serve you.  Quic. 
Am I free a, my fetters? rinse; Fly with a Duck in thy mouth: and now I tell thee Touchstone—  Touch. 
Good sir.  Quic. 
When this eternal substance of my soul,  Touch. 
Well said, change your gold ends for your play ends.  Quick. 
Did live imprisoned in my wanton flesh.  Touch. 
What then sir?  Quic. 
I was a Courtier in the Spanish court, and Don Andrea was my name.  Touch. 
Good master Don Andrea will you march?  Quic. 
Sweet Touchstone, will you lend me two shillings?  Touch. 
Not a penny.  Quic. 
Not a penny? I have friends, & I have acquaintance, I will piss at thy shop posts, and throw rotten Eggs at thy sign: Work upon that now. Exit, staggering.  Touch. 
Now sirrah, you? hear you? you shall serve me no more neither; not an hour longer.  Goul. 
What mean you sir?  Touch. 
I mean to give thee thy freedom; & with thy freedom my daughter: & with my daughter a father's love. And with all these such a portion, as shall make Knight Petronel himself envy thee: you're both agreed? are ye not?  Ambo. 
With all submission, both of thanks and duty.  Tou. 
Well then, the great power of heaven bless & confirm you. And, Goulding, that my love to thee may not show less than my wives love to my eldest daughter; thy marriage feast shall equal the Knights and hers.  Goul. 
Let me beseech you, no Sir, the superfluity and cold meat left at their Nuptials, will with bounty furnish ours. The grossest prodigality is superfluous cost of the Belly: nor would I wish any invitement of States or friends, only your reverent presence and witness shall sufficiently grace and confirm us.  Touch. 
Son to mine own bosom, take her and my blessing: The nice fondling, my Lady sir-reverence, that I must not now presume to call daughter, is so ravished with desire to handsel her new Coach, and see her knights Eastward Castle, that the next morning will sweat with her busy setting forth, away will she and her mother, and while their preparation is making, ourselves with some two or three other friends will consummate the humble match, we have in Gods name concluded.  

'tis to my wish; for I have often read,  
Fit birth, fit age, keeps long a quiet bed.  
'tis to my wish; For Tradesmen (well 'tis known)  
Get with more ease, than Gentry keeps his own. Exit.   Security solus. Secu. 
My privy Guest, lusty quicksilver, has drunk too deep of the Bride-bowl, but with a little sleep he is much recovered; And I think is making himself ready, to be drunk in a gallanter likeness: My house is as 'twere the Cave, where the young Outlaw hoards the stolen veils of his occupation; And here when he will revel it in his prodigal similitude, he retires to his Trunks, and (I may say softly) his Punks: he dares trust me with the keeping of both: for I am Security itself, my name is Security, the famous Usurer.  Enter quicksilver in his Prentices Cote and Cap his gallant Breeches and Stockings, gartering himself. Security following. Quic. 
Come old Security, thou father of destruction: th'indented Sheepskin is burned wherein I was wrapped, and I am now loose, to get more children of perdition into thy usurous Bonds. Thou feedest my Lechery, and I thy Covetousness: Thou art Pandar to me for my wench, and I to thee for thy cozenages: K. me, K. thee, runs through Court and Country.  Secu. 
Well said my subtle quicksilver, These K's open the doors to all this worlds felicity: the dullest forehead sees it. Let not mast. Courtier think he carries all the knavery on his shoulders: I have poor Hob in the country, that has worn hobnails on's shoes, have as much villainy in's head, as he that wears gold buttons in's cap.  Quic. 
Why man, 'tis the London highway to thrist, if virtue be used; 'tis but as a scrap to the net of villainy. They that use it simply, thrive simply I warrant: Weight and fashion makes goldsmith's Cockolds.  Enter sindefy, with Quicksilver's doublet, Cloak, Rapier, and Dagger. Synd. 
Here sir, put of the other half of your Prenticeship.  Quick. 

Well said sweet Sin: bring forth my bravery.  
Now let my Trunks shoot forth their silks concealed,  
I now am free; and now will justify  
My Trunks and Punks: avant dull flatcap then,  
Via, the curtain that shadowed Borgia;  
There lie thou husk of my envassaled State.  
I Sampson now, have burst the Philistines Bands,  
And in thy lap my lovely Dalida,  
I'll lie and snore out my enfranchised state.  
When Sampson was a tall young man  
His power and strength increased then,  
He sold no more, nor cup, nor can,  
But did them all despise.  
Old Touchstone, now wright to thy friends,  
For one to sell thy base gold ends  
quicksilver, now no more attends  
Thee Touchstone.   
But Dad, hast thou seen my running Gelding dressed today?  Secu. 
That I have Frank, the Ostler a'th' Cock, dressed him for a Breakfast.  Quick. 
What did he eat him?  Secu. 
No, but he eat his breakfast for dressing him: and so dressed him for breakfast. 
Quicksilver. O witty Age, where age is young in wit,  
And all youths words have grey beards full of it!   Hyn. 
But alas Francke, how will all this be maintained now?  
Your place maintained it before.  quicksilver. 
Why and I maintained my place. I'll to the Court, another manner of place for maintenance I hope then the silly City. I heard my father say, I heard my mother sing an old Song and a true: Tou art a she fool, and know'st not what belongs to our male wisdom. I shallbe a Merchant forsooth: trust my estate in a wooden Trough as he does? What are these Ships, but Tennis Balls for the winds to play withal? tossed from one wave to another; Now underline; Now over the house; Sometimes Brickwalled against a Rock, so that the guts fly out again: sometimes struck under the wide Hazzard, and farewell Mast. Marchant.  sindefy. 
Well Francke, well; the Seas you say are uncertain: But he that sails in your Court Seas, shall find 'em ten times fuller of hazard; wherein to see what is to be seen, is torment more than a free Spirit can endure; But when you come to suffer, how many Injuries swallow you? What care and devotion must you use, to humour an imperious Lord? proportion your looks to his looks? smiles to his smiles? fit your sails to the wind of his breath?  Quick. 
Tush he's no journeyman in his craft, that can not do that.  Sindefy. 
But he's worse than a Prentice that does it, not only humouring the Lord, but every Trencherbearer, every Groom that by indulgence and intelligence crept into his favour, and by Panarism into his Chamber; He rules the roast: And when my honourable Lord says it shall be thus, my worshipful Rascal (the Groom of his close stool) says it shall not be thus, claps the door after him, and who dares enter? A Prentice, quoth you? 'tis but to learn to live, and does that disgrace a man? he that rises hardly, stands firmly: but he that rises with ease, Alas, falls as easily.  quicksilver. 
A pox on you, who taught you this morality?  Security. 
'tis long of this witty Age, Master Francis. But indeed, Mistress sindefy, all Trades complain of inconvenience, and therefore 'tis best to have none. The Merchant he complains, and says, Traffic is subject too much uncertainty and loss: let 'em keep their goods on dry land with a vengeance, and not expose other men's substances to the mercy of the winds, under protection of a wooden wall (as Master Francis says) and all for greedy desire, to enrich themselves with unconscionable gain, two for one, or so: where I, and such other honest men as live by lending money, are content with moderate profit; thirty, or forty i'th' hundred: so we may have it with quietness, and out of peril of wind and weather, rather than run those dangerous courses of trading, as they do.  Quick. 
I Dad thou mayst well be called Security, for thou takest the safest course.  Security. 
Faith the quieter, and the more contented; and, out of doubt, the more godly. For Merchants in their courses are never pleased, but ever repining against Heaven: One prays for a Westerly wind to carry his ship forth; another for an Easterly to bring his ship home; and at every shaking of a lease, he falls into an agony, to think what danger his Ship is in on such a Coast, and so forth. The Farmer he is ever at odds with the Weather, sometimes the clouds have been too barren; Sometimes the Heavens forget themselves, their Harvests answer not their hopes; Sometimes the Season falls out too fruitful, Corn will bear no price, and so forth. Th'Artificer, he's all for a stirring world, if his Trade be too full and fall short of his expectation, then falls he out of joint. Where we that trade nothing but money, are free from all this, we are pleased with all weathers: let it rain or hold up, be calm or windy, let the season be whatsoever, let Trade go how it will, we take all in good part; e'en what please the heavens to send us; so the Sun stand not still; and the Moon keep her usual returns; and make up days, months, and years.  Quick. 
And you have good security?  Secu. 
I mary Francke, that's the special point.  Quick. 
And yet forsooth we must have Trades to live withal; For we cannot stand without legs, nor fly without wings; and a number of such scurvy phrases. No, I say still; he that has wit, let him live by his wit: he that has none, let him be a Tradesman.  Secu. 
Witty Master Francis!  
'tis pity any Trade should dull that quick brain of yours. Do but bring Knight Petronel into my Parchment Toils once, and you shall never need to toil in any trade, a my credit! You know his wives Land?  quicksilver. 
even to a foot Sir, I have been often there: a pretty fine Seat, good Land, all entire within itself.  Secu. 
Well wooded?  Quick. 
Two hundred pounds worth of wood ready to fell. And a fine sweet house that stands just in the midst an't, like a Prick in the midst of a Circle; would I were your Farmer, for a hundred pound a year.  Secu. 
Excellent M. Francis; how I do long to do thee good: How I do hunger, and thirst to have the honour to enrich thee? ay, even to die, that thou mightest inherit my living: even hunger and thirst, for a my Religion, M. Francis. And so tell Knight Petrovell I do it to do him a pleasure.  quicksilver. 
Marry Dad, his horses are now coming up, to bear down his Lady, wilt thou lend him thy stable to set 'em in?  Secur. 
Faith M. Francis, I would be loath to lend my Stable out of doors, in a greater matter I will pleasure him, but not in this.  Quick. 
A pox of your hunger and thirst. Well Dad, let him have money: All he could any way get, is bestowed on a Ship, now bound for Virginia: the frame of which voyage is so closely conveyed, that his new Lady nor any of her friends know it. Notwithstanding, as soon as his ladies hand is gotten to the sale of her inheritance, and you have furnished him with money, he will instantly hoist Sail, and away.  Secur. 
Now a Frank gale of wind go with him, Master Frank, we have too few such knight adventurers: who would not sell away competent certainties, to purchase (with any danger) excellent uncertainties? your true knight venturer ever does it. Let his wife seal today, he shall have his money today.  Qui. 
Tomorrow she shall, Dad, before she goes into the country, to work her to which actio, with the more engines, I purpose presently to prefer my sweet Sin here, to the place of her Gentlewoman; whom you (for the more credit) shall present as your friend's daughter, a Gentlewoman of the country, new come up with a will for a while to learn fashions forsooth, and be toward some Lady; and she shall buzz pretty devices into her Lady's ear; feeding her humours so serviceablely (as the manner of such as she is you know.)  Secur. 
True good Master Frances.  Enter sindefy. Quic. 
That she shall keep her Port open to any thing she commends to her.  Secur. 
A'my religion, a most fashionable project; as good she spoil the Lady, as the Lady spoil her; for 'tis three to one of one side: sweet mistress Sin, how are you bound to master Frances! I do not doubt to see you shortly wed one of the head men of our city.  sin.. 
But sweet Frank, when shall my father Security present me?  Quic. 
With all festination; I have broken the Ice to it already; and will presently to the knight's house, whether, my good old Dad, let me pray thee with all formality to man her.  Secur. 
Command me Master Frances; I do hunger and thirst to do thee service. Come sweet Mistress Sin, take leave of my winifrid, and we will instantly meet frank Master Frances at your Ladies.  Enter Winnifride above. Win. 
Where is my Cum there? Cum?  Secur. 
I Winnie.  Win. 
Wilt thou come in, sweet Cum?  Secur. 
I Wynney, presently. Exeunt.  Quic. 
I Wynney, quoth he? that's all he can do poor man; he may well cut off her name at Wynney. O 'tis an egregious Pandar! what will not an usurous knave be, so he may be rich? O 'tis a notable lewis trump! I hope to live to see dogs meat made of the old usurers flesh; Dice of his bones; and Indentures of his skin: and yet his skin is too thick to make Parchment, 'twould make good Boots for a Peter man to catch Salmon in. Your only smooth skin to make fine Vellum is your Puritans skin; they be the smoothest and slickest knaves in a country.  Enter Sir Tetronell in Boots with a riding wan. Petr. 
I'll out of this wicked town as fast as my horse can trot: Here's now no good action for a man to spend his time in. Taverns grow dead; Ordinaries are blown up; Plays are at a stand; Houses of Hospitality at a fall; not a Feather waving, nor a Spur jingling anywhere: I'll away instantly.  Qui. 
you'd best take some crowns in your purse Knight, or else your Eastward Castle will smoke but miserably.  Petr. 
O Francke! my castle? Alas all the Castles I have, are built with air, thou know'st.  Quic. 
I know it Knight, and therefore wonder whether your Lady is going.  Pet. 
Faith to seek her Fortune I think. I said I had a castle and land Eastward, and Eastward she will without contradiction; her coach, and the coach of the Sun must meet full butt: And the Sun being out shined with her ladyship's glory, she fears he goes Westward to hang himself.  Quic. 
And I fear, when her enchanted Castle becomes invisible, her Ladyship will return and follow his example.  Petr. 
O that she would have the grace, for I shall never be able to pacific her, when she sees herself deceived so.  Quic. 
As easily as can be. Tell her she mistook your directions, and that shortly, yourself will down with her to approve it; and then, cloth but her croupper in a new Gown, and you may drive her any way you list: for these women Sir, are like Essex Calves, you must wriggle 'em on by the tail still, or they will never drive orderly.  Petr. 
But alas sweet Francke, thou know'st my ability will not furnish her blood with those costly humours.  Quic. 
Cast that cost on me Sir, I have spoken to my old pander Security, for money or commodity; and commodity (if you will) I know he will procure you.  Petr. 
Commodity! Alas what commodity?  Qui. 
Why Sir? what say you to Figs, and raisins?  Petr. 
A plague of Figs and raisins, and all such frail commodities, we shall make nothing of 'em.  Quic. 
Why then Sir, what say you to forty pound in roasted Beef?  Petr. 
Out upon't, I have less stomach to that, then to the Figs and raisins: I'll out of Town, though I sojourn with a friend of mine, for stay here I must not; my creditors have laid to arrest me, and I have no friend under heaven but my Sword to bail me.  Qui. 
God's me Knight, put 'em in sufficient sureties, rather than let your Sword bail you; Let 'em take their choice, either the king's Bench, or the Fleet, or which of the two Counters they like best, for by the Lord I like none of 'em.  Petr. 
Well Frank there is no jesting with my earnest necessity; thou know'st if I make not present money to further my voyage begun all's lost, and all I have laid out about it.  Qui. 
Why then Sir in earnest, if you can get your wise Lady to set her hand to the sale of her Inheritance, the blood hound Security will smell out ready money for you instantly.  Petro. 
There spoke an Angel. To bring her to which conformity, I must feign myself extremely amorous; and alleging urgent excuses for my stay, behind, part with her as passionately, as she would from her foisting hound.  Qui. 
You have the Sow by the right ear Sir: I warrant there was never Child longed more to ride a Cock horse, or wear his new coat, then she longs to ride in her new coach: She would long for every thing when she was a maid; and now she will run mad for 'em: I lay my life she will have every year four children; and what charge and change of humour you must endure while she is with child; and how she will tie you to your tackling till she be with child, a Dog would not endure: Nay, there is no Turnspit Dog bound to his wheel more servilely, than you shall be to her wheel; For as that Dog can never climb the top of his wheel, but when the top comes under him: so shall you never climb the top of her contentment, but when she is under you.  Petr. 
'slight how thou terrifiest me?  Quic. 
Nay hark you sir; what Nurses, what Midwives, what Fools, what Physicians, what cunning women must be sought for (fearing sometimes she is bewitched, some times in a consumption) to tell her tales, to talk bawdy to her, to make her laugh, to give her glisters, to let her blood under the tongue, and betwixt the toes; how she will revile and kiss you; spit in your face, and lick it off again; how she will vaunt you are her Creature; she made you of nothing; how she could have had thousand mark jointures; she could have been made a Lady by a Scotch Knight; & never ha' married him: She could have had Poynados in her bed every morning; how she set you up, and how she will pull you down: you'll never be able to stand of your legs to endure it.  Petr. 
Out of my fortune, what a death is my life bound face to face too? The best is, a large Time-fitted conscience is bound to nothing: Marriage is but a form in the School of Policy, to which Scholars sit fastened only with painted chains, old Securities young wife is near the further of with me.  Quic. 
Thereby lies a tale sir. The old usurer will be here instantly, with my Punk sindefy, whom you know your Lady has promised me to entertain for her Gentlewoman: and he (with a purpose to feed on you) invites you most solemnly by me to supper.  Petr. 
It falls out excellently fitly: I see desire of gain makes jealousy venturous: Enter Gyrt:  
See Francke here comes my Lady; Lord how she views thee, she knows thee not I think in this bravery.  Gyr. 
How now? who be you I pray?  Quic. 
One master Frances quicksilver, an't please your Ladyship.  Gyr. 
God's my dignity! as I am a Lady, if he did not make me blush so that mine eyes stood awater, would I were unmarried again: Enter Security and sindefy.  
Where's my woman I pray?  Qui. 
See Madam, she now comes to attend you.  Secur. 
God save my honourable Knight, and his worshipful Lady.  Gyr. 
You're very welcome! you must not put on your Hat yet.  Secur. 
No Madam; till I know your Ladyships further pleasure, I will not presume.  Gyr. 
And is this a Gentleman's daughter new come out of the country?  Secur. 
She is Madam; & one that her Father hath a special care to bestow in some honourable lady's service, to put her out of her honest humours forsooth, for she had a great desire to be a Nun, an't please you.  Gyr. 
A Nun? what Nun? a Nun Substantive? or a Nun Adjective?  Secur. 
A Nun Substantive Madam I hope, if a Nun be a Noun. But I mean, Lady, a vowed maid of that order.  Gyr. 
I'll teach her to be a maid of the order I warrant you: and can you do any work belongs to a ladies Chamber?  Synde. 
What I cannot do, Madam, I would be glad to learn.  Gyr. 
Well said, hold up then; hold up your head I say, come hither a little.  Synd. 
I thank your Ladyship.  Gyr. 
And hark you; Good man, you may put on your Hat now, I do not look on you: I must have you of my faction now; not of my Knights, maid.  Synd. 
No forsooth Madam of yours.  Gyr. 
And draw all my servants in my Bow, and keep my counsel, and tell me tales, and put me Riddles and read on a book sometimes when I am busy, and laugh at country Gentlewomen, and command any thing in the house for my retainers, and care not what you spend, for it is all mine; and in any case, be still a Maid whatsoever you do, or whatsoever any man can do unto you.  Secur. 
I warrant your Ladyship for that.  Gyr. 
Very well, you shall ride in my coach with me into the country tomorrow morning; Come Knight, pray thee let's make a short supper, and to bed presently.  Secur. 
Nay good Madam, this night I have a short Supper at home, waits on his worship's acceptation.  Gyr. 
By my faith but he shall not go Sir; I shall swoon and he sup from me.  Petr. 
Pray thee forbear; shall he lose his provision?  Gyr. 
I by Lady Sir, rather than I lose my longing; come in I say: as I am a Lady you shall not go.  Quic. 
I told him what a burr he had gotten.  Secur. 
If you will not sup from your Knight Madam, let me entreat your Ladyship to sup at my house with him.  Gyr. 
No by my faith Sir, than we cannot be a-bed soon enough, after supper.  Petr. 
What a Medicine is this? well Master Security, you are new married as well as I; I hope you are bound as well: we must honour our young wives you know.  Quic. 
In policy Dad, till tomorrow she has sealed.  Secur. 
I hope in the morning yet your Knighthood will breakfast with me.  Petr. 
As early as you will Sir.  Secur. 
Thank your good worship; I do hunger and thirst to do you good Sir.  Gyr. 
Come sweet Knight come, I do hunger and thirst to be a-bed with thee. Exeunt.   

Actus Tertii. Scaena Prima.  Enter Petronell, Quicksilver, Security, Bramble, and Winifrid. Petr. 
Thanks for our feastlike Breakfast good Master Security, I am sorry, (by reason of my instant haste to so long a voyage as Virginia,) I am without means, by any kind amends to show how affectionately I take your kindness, and to confirm by some worthy ceremony a perpetual league of friendship betwixt us.  Secur. 
Excellent Knight; let this be a token betwixt us of inviolable friendship: I am new married to this fair Gentlewoman you know; & (by my hope to make her fruitful though I be something in years) I vow faithfully unto you, to make you Godfather (though in your absence) to the first child I am blessed withal; and henceforth call me Gossip I beseech you, if you please to accept it.  Petr. 
In the highest degree of gratitude, my most worthy Gossip; for confirmation of which friendly title, let me entreat my fair Gossip your Wife here, to accept this Diamond, and keep it as my gift to her first Child, wheresoever my Fortune in event of my Voyage shall bestow me.  Secur. 
How now my coy wedlock! make you strange of so Noble a favour? take it I charge you, with all affection, and (by way of taking your leave) present boldly your lips to our honourable Gossip.  Quick. 
How venturous he is to him, and how jealous to others!  Pet. 
Long may this kind touch of our lips Print in our hearts all the forms of affection. And now my good Gossip, if the writings be ready to which my wife should seal, let them be brought this morning, before she takes coach into the country, and my kindness shall work her to dispatch it.  Secur. 
The writings are ready Sir. My learned counsel here, Master Bramble, the Lawyer hath perused them; and within this hour, I will bring the Scrivener with them to your worshipful Lady.  Petr. 
Good Master Bramble, I will here take my leave of you then; God send you fortunate physnomy sir, and contentious Clients.  Bram. 
And you foreright winds Sir, and a fortunate voyage. Exit. Enter a Messenger.  Mess. 
Sir Petronel, here are three or four Gentlemen desire to speak with you.  Pet. 
What are they?  Qui. 
They are your followers in this voyage Knight, Captain Seagull and his associates, I met them this morning, and told them you would be here.  Pet. 
Let them enter I pray you, I know they long to be gone, for their stay is dangerous.  Enter Seagull, Scapethrift, and Spendall. Sea. 
God save my honourable Colonel.  Pet. 
Welcome good Captain Seagull, and worthy Gentlemen, if you will meet my friend Francke here, and me, at the blue Anchor Tavern by Billingsgate this Evening, we will there drink to our happy voyage, be merry, and take Boat to our Ship with all expedition.  Spoil. 
Defer it no longer I beseech you Sir, but as your voyage is hitherto carried closely, and in another knight's name, so for your own safety and ours, let it be continued, our meeting and speedy purpose of departing known to as few as is possible, lest your Ship and goods be attached.  Qui. 
Well advised Captain our Colonel shall have money this morning to dispatch all our departures, bring those Gentlemen at night to the place appointed, and with our skins full of vintage, we'll take occasion by the vantage, and away.  Spoil. 
We will not fail but be there sir.  Pet. 
Good morrow good Captain, and my worthy associates. Health and all Sovereignty to my beautiful gossip, for you sir, we shall see you presently with the writings.  Secur. 
With writings and crowns to my honourable gossip: I do hunger and thirst to do you good sir. Exeunt.  

Actus tertii. Scena Secunda.  Enter a Coachman in haste in's frock feeding. Coach. 
here's a stir when Citizens ride out of Town indeed, as if all the house were afire; Slight they will not give a man leave, to eat's breakfast afore he rises.  Enter Hamlet a footman in haste. Ham. 
What Coachman? my ladies Coach for shame; her ladyship's ready to come down;  Enter Potkinn, a Tankerd bearer. Pot. 
'sfoot Hamlet; are you mad? whether run you now you should brush up my old Mistress?  Enter Syndefye. Synd. 
What Potkin? you must put off your tankard, and put on your blue coat and wait upon Mistress Toochstone into the country. Exit.  Pot. 
I will forsooth presently. Exit.  Enter Mistress Fond, and Mistress Gazer. Fond. 
Come sweet Mistress Gazer, let's watch here, and see my Lady Flash take coach.  Gaz. 
A my word here's a most fine place to stand in, did you see the new Ship launched last day Mistress Fond.  Fond. 
O God, and we citizens should lose such a sight?  Gaz. 
I warrant, here will be double as many people to see her take coach, as there were to see it take water.  Fond. 
O she's married to a most fine Castle i'th' country they say?  Gaz. 
But there are no Giants in the Castle, are there?  Fond. 
O no, they say her Knight killed 'em all and therefore he was knighted.  Gaz. 
Would to God her Ladyship would come away.  Enter Gyr. Mistress touch. Synd. Ham. Por. Fond. 
She comes, she comes, she comes.  Gaz. 
Fond. Pray heaven bless your Ladyship.  Gyr. 
Thank you good people; my coach for the love of Heaven, my coach? in good truth I shall swoon else.  Ham. 
Coach? coach my Lady's coach. Exit.  Gir. 
As I am a Lady, I think I am with child already, I long for a coach so; may one be with child afore they are married Mother?  Mist. Touch. 
I by'r lady Madam, a little thing does that; I have seen a little prick no bigger than a pin's head, swell bigger and bigger, till it has come to an Ancome; & e'en so 'tis in these cases.  Enter Ham. Ham. 
Your Coach is coming, Madam.  Gyr. 
That's well said; Now heaven! methinks, I am e'en up to the knees in preferment; 
But a little higher, but a little higher, but a little higher,  
There, there, there lies Cupid's fire.   Mist. Touch. 
But must this young man, an't please you Madam, run by your coach all the way a foot?  Gyr. 
I by my faith I warrant him, he gives no other milk, as I have another servant does.  Mist. Touch. 
alas! 'tis e'en pity methinks; for God's sake Madam buy him but a Hobby horse, let the poor youth have something betwixt his legs to ease 'em; alas! we must do as we would be done too;  Gir. 
Go to, hold your peace dame, you talk like an old fool I tell you.  Enter Petr. and Quicksilver. Pet. 
Wilt thou be gone, sweet Honey suckle, before I can go with thee?  Gyr. 
I pray thee sweet Knight let me; I do so long to dress up thy castle afore thou com'st: But I mar'le how my modest Sister occupies herself this morning, that she can not wait on me to my Coach, as well as her mother!  Quick. 
Mary Madam, she's married by this time to Prentice Goulding; your Father, and some one more, stole to Church with 'em, in all the haste, that the cold meat lest at your wedding, might serve to furnish their Nuptial table.  Gyr. 
There's no base fellow, my Father, now: but he's e'en fit to Father such a Daughter: he must call me daughter no more now; but Madam; and please you Madam: and please your worship Madam, indeed; out upon him, marry his daughter to a base Prentice?  Mist. Touch. 
What should one do? is there no law for one that marries a woman's daughter against her will? how shall we punish him Madam.  Gyr. 
As I am a Lady an't would snow, we'd so pebble 'em with snow balls as they come from Church; but sirrah, Frank Quicksilver.  Quick. 
I Madam.  Gir. 
Dost remember since thou and I clapped what-do-you-call-its in the Garrat?  Quick. 
I know not what you mean Madam.  Gyr. 

His head as white as milk,  
All flaxen was his hair:  
But now he is dead,  
And laid in his Bed,  
And never will come again.   
God be at your labour.  Enter Touch. Gould. Mild. with Rosemary. Pet. 
Was there ever such a Lady?  Quic. 
See Madam, the Bride and Bridegroom:  Gyr. 
God's my precious! God give you joy Mistress What lack you. Now out upon thee Baggage: my sister married in a Taffeta Hat? Mary hang you; Westward with a wanion te'ye, Nay I have done we ye Minion then i'faith, never look to have my countenance any more: nor any thing I can do for thee. Thou ride in my Coach? or come down to my Castle? fie upon thee: I charge thee in my ladyships name, call me Sister no more.  Touch. 
An't please your worship, this is not your Sister: This is my daughter, and she call me Father, and so does not your Ladyship an't please your worship Madam.  Mist. Touch. 
No nor she must not call thee Father by Heraldry, because thou mak'st thy Prentice thy Son as well as she; Ah thou misproud Prentice, dar'st thou presume to marry a Lady's Sister?  Gou. 
It pleased my Master forsooth to embolden me with his favour: And though I confess myself far unworthy so worthy a wife (being in part, her servant, as I am your Prentice) yet (since I may say it without boasting) I am borne a Gentleman, and by the Trade I have learned of my Master (which I trust taints not my blood) able with mine own Industry and portion to maintain your daughter, my hope is, heaven will so bless our humble beginning, that in the end I shallbe no disgrace to the grace with which my Master hath bound me his double Prentice.  Touch. 
Master me no more Son if thou think'st me worthy to be thy father.  Gry. 
Sun? Now good Lord how he shines and you mark him! he's a gentleman.  Gon. 
I indeed Madam, a Gentleman borne.  Pet. 
Never stand a'your Gentry M. bridegroom: if your legs be no better than your Arms, you'll be able to stand upon neither shortly.  Touch. 
An't please your good worship Sir, there are two sorts of Gentlemen.  Pet. 
What mean you Sir?  Touch. 
Bold to put off my hat to your worship.  Pet. 
Nay pray forbear Sir, and then forth with your two sorts of Gentlemen.  Touch. 
If your worship will have it so? I say there are two sorts of Gentlemen. There is a Gentleman Artificial, and a gentleman Natural; Now, though your worship be a Gentleman Natural: Work upon that now.  Quick. 
Well said old Touchstone, I am proud to hear thee enter a set speech i'faith, forth I beseech thee.  Touch. 
Cry you mercy Sir, your worship's a Gentleman, I do not know? if you be one of my acquaintance you're very much disguised Sir.  Quick. 
Go too old Quipper: forth with thy speech I say.  Touch. 
What Sir, my speeches were ever in vain to your gracious worship: And therefore till I speak to you gallantry in deed, I will save my breath for my broth anon. Come my poor son and daughter; Let us hide ourselves in our poor humility and live safe: Ambition consumes itself, with the very show. Work upon that now.  Gyr. 
Let him go, let him go for God's sake: let him make his Prentice, his son for God's sake: give away his daughter for God's sake: and when they come a-begging to us for God's sake, let's laugh at their good husbandry for God's sake. Farewell sweet Knight, pray thee make haste after.  Pet. 
What shall I say? I would not have thee go,  Quick. 

Now, O now, I must depart;  
Parting though it absence move,  
This Ditty knight, do I see in thy looks in Capital Letters.  
What a grief 'tis to depart, and leave the flower that has my heart?  
My sweet Lady, and alack for we, why should we part so?   
Tell truth Knight, and shame all dissembling Lovers; does not your pain lie on that side?  Pet. 
If it do, canst thou tell me how I may cure it?  Quick. 
Excellent easily; divide yourself in two halves, just by the girdlestead; send one half with your Lady, and keep the tother yourself: or else do as all true Lovers do, part with your heart and leave your body behind: I have seen't done a hundred times: 'tis as easy a matter for a Lover to part without a heart from his sweet heart, and he near the worse: as for a Mouse to get from a Trap and leave her tail behind him. See here comes the Writings.  Enter Security with a Scrivener. Secu. 
Good morrow to my worshipful Lady. I present your ladyship with this writing; to which if you please to set your hand, with your Knights, a velvet Gown shall attend your journey a'my credit.  Gir. 
What Writing is it Knight?  Petrenell. 
The sale (sweet heart) of the poor Tenement I told thee off, only to make a little money to send thee down furniture for my Castle, to which my hand shall lead thee.  Gyr. 
Very well: Now give me your Pen I pray.  Qui. 
It goes down without chewing i'faith.  Scriue. 
Your worships deliver this as your deed?  Ambo. 
we do.  Gyr. 
So now Knight farewell till I see thee.  Pet. 
All farewell to my sweet heart.  Mistress Touch. 
Good-bye, son Knight.  Pet. 
Farewell my good Mother.  Gyr. 
Farewell Francke, I would feign take thee down if I could.  quicksilver. 
I thank your good Ladyship; Farewell Mistress sindefy. Exeunt.  Pet. 
O tedious Voyage, where of there is no end! What will they think of me?  Quick. 
Think what they list; They longed for a vagary into the Country, and now they are fitted: So a woman marry to ride in a Coach, she cares not if she ride to her Ruin; 'tis the great end of many of their marriages: This is not first time a Lady has rid a false journey in her Coach I hope.  Pet. 
Nay, 'tis no Matter, I care little what they think; he that ways men's thoughts, has his hands full of nothing: A man in the course of this world should be like a surgeon's instrument, work in the wounds of others, and feel nothing himself. The sharper, and subtler, the better.  quicksilver. 
As it falls out now Knight, you shall not need to devise excuses, or endure her out cries, when she returns; we shall now be gone before, where they can not reach us.  Petronel. 
Well my kind compear, you have now Th'assurance we both can make you; let me now entreat you, the money we agreed on may be brought to the blue Anchor, near to Billingsgate, by Six o'clock: where I and my chief friends, bound for this voyage, will with Feasts attend you.  Secu. 
The money my most honourable compear, shall without fail observe your appointed hour.  Pet. 
Thanks my dear Gossip. I must now impart  
To your approved love, a loving secret:  
As one on whom my life doth more rely  
In friendly trust, than any man alive.  
Nor shall you be the chosen Secretary  
Of my affections, for affection only;  
For I protest, (if God bless my return,)  
To make you Partner, in my actions gain  
As deeply, as if you had ventured with me  
Half my expenses. Know then, honest Gossip,  
I have enjoyed with such divine contentment,  
A Gentle woman's Bed, whom you well know,  
That I shall near enjoy this tedious Voyage,  
Nor live the lest part of the time it asketh,  
Without her presence; So I thirst and hunger  
To taste the dear feast of her company.  
And if the hunger and the thirst you vow  
(As my sworn Gossip) to my wished good  
Be (as I know it is) unfeigned and firm,  
Do me an easy favour in your Power.  Secur. 
be sure brave Gossip, all that I can do  
To my best Nerve, is wholly at your service:  
Who is the woman (first) that is your friend?  Pet. 
The woman is your learned Counsels wife,  
The Lawyer Master Bramble: whom would you,  
Bring out this Even, in honest Neighbourhood  
To take his leave with you, of me your Gossip.  
ay, in the mean time, will send this my friend  
Home to his house, to bring his wife disguised  
Before his face, into our company:  
For Love hath made her look for such a wile,  
To free her from his tyrannous jealousy.  
And I would take this course before another:  
In stealing her away to make us sport,  
And gull his circumspection the more grossly.  
And I am sure that no man like yourself,  
Hath credit with him to entice his jealousy,  
To so long stay abroad, as may give time  
To her enlargement, in such safe disguise.  Secu. 
A pretty, pithy, and most pleasant project!  
Who would not strain a point of Neighbourhood,  
For such a point, device? that as the ship  
Of famous Draco, went about the world,  
Will wind about the Lawyer, compassing,  
The world himself, he hath it in his arms:  
And that's enough, for him, without his wife.  
A Lawyer is Ambitious, and his head,  
Can not be praised, nor raised too high,  
With any Fork, of highest knavery.  
I'll go fetch her straight. Exit Security.  Per. 
So, so, Now Frank go thou home to his house,  
Stead of his Lawyers, and bring his wife hither:  
Who just like to the lawyer's wife, is prisoned,  
With his stern usurous jealousy; which could never  
Be over reacht-thus, but with overreaching. Enter Security.  Secu. 
And M. Francis, watch you th'instant time  
To Enter with his Exit: t'will be rare,  
Two fine horned Beasts A Camel and a Lawyer!  quicksilver. 
How the old villain joys in villainy?  Enter Secur. 
And hark you Gossip, when you have her here,  
Have your Boat ready, ship her to your Ship  
With utmost haste, lest Master Bramble stay you,  
To o'er reach that head that outreacheth all heads?  
'tis a trick Rampant; 'tis a very Quiblyn;  
I hope this harvest, to pitch cart with Lawyers;  
Their heads will be so forked; This sly touch  
Will get Apes to invent a number such. Exit.  Quick. 
Was ever Rascal, honeyed so with poison? 
He that delights in slavish Avarice.  
Is apt to joy in every sort of vice.   
Well, i'll go fetch his wife, whilst he the Lawyers.  Pet. 
But stay Frank, let's think how we may disguise her upon this sudden.  Quick. 
God's me there's the mischief; but hark you, here's an excellent device; fore God a Rare one: I will carry her a sailors gown and cap and cover her; & a player's beard;  Pet. 
And what upon her head?  Quick. 
I tell you a sailors Cap: slight God forgive me, what kind of figent memory have you?  Pet. 
Nay then, what kind of figent wit hast thou?  
A sailors cap? how shall she put it off  
When thou presentest her to our company?  Quick. 
Tush man, for that, make her a saucy sailor.  Pet. 
Tush tush 'tis no fit sauce for such sweet mutton; I know not what t'advise.  Enter Secur with his wives gown. Secur. 
Knight, knight a rare devise.  Pet. 
'sounds yet again.  Quick. 
What stratagem have you now?  Secur. 
The best that ever. You talked of disguising?  Pet. 
I may Gossip that's our present care.  Secur. 
Cast care a way then, here's the best device  
For plain Security (for I am no better)  
I think that ever lived: here's my wives gown  
Which you may put upon the lawyer's wife,  
And which I brought you sir for two great reasons;  
One is, that Master Bramble may take hold  
Of some suspicion that it is my wife,  
And gird me so perhaps with his law wit,  
The other (which is policy indeed)  
Is, that my wife may now be tied at home,  
Having no more but her old gown abroad,  
And not show me a quirk, while I firk others.  
Is not this rare?  Ambo. 
The best that ever shshas.  Secur. 
Am I not borne to furnish Gentlemen?  Pet. 
O my dear Gossip!  Secur. 
Well hold Master Francis, watch when the Lawyer's out, and put it in; and now— I will go fetch him. Exit.  Quick. 
O my Dad! he goes as 'twere the Devil to fetch the Lawyer; and devil shall he be if horns will make him.  Pet. 
why how now Gossip, why stay you there musing?  Secur. 
A toy, a toy runs in my head i'faith.  Quick. 
A pox of that head, is there more toys yet?  Pet. 
What is it pray thee Gossip?  Secur. 
Why Sir? what if you should slip away now with my wives best gown. I having no security for it?  Quick. 
For that I hope Dad you will take our words.  Secu. 
I by th'mass your word that's a proper staff  
For wise Security to lean upon;  
But 'tis no matter, once i'll trust my Name,  
On your cracked credits, let it take no shame,  
Fetch the wench Frank. Exit.  Quick. 
I'll wait upon you sir.  
And fetch you over, you were near so fetched:  
Go, to the Tavern Knight, your followers  
Dare not be drunk I think, before their Captain. Exit.  Pet. 
Would I might lead them to no hotter service,  
Till our Virginian gold were in our purses Exit.  Enter Seagull Spendall and Scapthrift in the Tavern with a Drawer. Sca. 
Come Drawer, pierce your neatest Hogsheads, & let's have cheer, not fit for your Billingsgate Tavern; but for our Virginian Colonel; he willbe here instantly.  Draw. 
You shall have all things fit sir; please you have any more Wine.  Spend, 
More wine Slave? whether we drink it or no, spill it, and draw more.  Scap. 
Fill all the pots in your house with all sorts of liquor, and let 'em wait on us here like Soldiers in their Pewter, coats; And though we do not employ them now, yet we will maintain 'em, till we do.  Draw. 
Said like an honourable Captain; you shall have all you can command Sir. Exit Drawer.  Sea. 
Come boys, Virginia longs till we share the rest of her Maidenhead,  Spend. 
Why is she inhabited already with any English?  Sea. 
A whole Country of English is there man, bred of those that were left there in 79. They have married with the Indians, and make 'em bring forth as beautiful faces as any we have in England: and therefore the Indians are so in love with 'em, that all the treasure they have, they lay at their feet.  Scap. 
But is there such treasure there Captain, as I have heard?  Sea. 
I tell thee, Gold is more plentiful there then Copper is with us: and for as much red Copper as I can bring, I'll have thrice the weight in Gold. Why man all their dripping Pans and their Chamber pots are pure Gold; and all the Chains, with which they chain up their streets, are massy Gold; all the Prisoners they take, are fettered in Gold: and for Rubies and Diamonds, they go forth on holidays and gather 'em by the Seashore, to hang on their children's Coats, and stick in their Caps, as commonly as our children wear Saffron guilt Brooches, and groats with holes in 'em.  Scap. 
And is it a pleasant Country withal?  Sea. 
As ever the Sun shined on: temperate and full of all sorts of excellent viands; wild Boar is as common there, as our tamest Bacon is here: Venison, as Mutton. And than you shall live freely there, without sergeant, or Courtiers, or Lawyers, or Intelligencers. Then for your means to advancement, there, it is simple, and not preposterously mixed: You may be an Alderman there, and never be scavenger; you may be any other officer, and never be a Slave. You may come to preferment enough, and never be a  Pandar. 
To Riches, and Fortune enough and have never the more Villainy, nor the less wit. Besides, there, we shall have no more Law than Conscience, and not too much of either; serve God enough, eat and drink enough, and enough is as good as a Feast.  Spend. 
God's me! and how far is it thither?  Sea. 
Some six weeks sail, no more, with any indifferent good wind: And If I get to any part of the coast of Africa, I'll sail thither with any wind. Or when I come to Cape Finister, there's a foreright wind continual wastes us till we come at Virginia. See, our colonel's come.  Enter Sir Petronell with his Followers. Petr. 
Well met good Captain Seagull, and my Noble Gentlemen! Now the sweet hour of our freedom is at hand.  
Come Drawer. Fill us some carouses; and prepare us for the mirth, that will be occasioned presently: Here will be a pretty wench Gentlemen, that will bear us company all our voyage.  Sea. 
Whatsoever she be; here's to her health Noble Colonel, both with Cap and Knee.  Petr. 
Thanks kind Captain Seagull. she's one I love dearly; and must not be known till we be free from all that know us: And so Gentlemen, here's to her health.  Ambo. 
Let it come worthy Colonel, we do hunger and thirst for it,  Petr. 
Afore heaven, you have hit the phrase of one that her presence will touch, from the foot to the forehead, if ye knew it.  Spend. 
Why then we will join his forehead, with her health, sir: and Captain Scapethrift, here's to 'em both,  Enter Security and Bramble. Secu. 
See, see, Master Bramble; fore heaven their voyage cannot but prosper, they are o'their knees for success to it.  Bram. 
And they pray to God Bacchus.  Secu. 
God save my brave Colonel with all his tall Captains and Corporals; see sir, my worshipful learned Counsel, M. Bramble, is come to take his leave of you.  Pet. 
Worshipful M. Bramble, how far do you draw us into the sweet briar of your kindness? come Captain Seagull, another health to this rare Bramble, that hath never a prick about him.  Sea. 
I pledge his most smooth disposition sir: come master Security, bend your supporters, and pledge this notorious health here.  Secu. 
Bend you yours likewise, M. Bramble, for it is you shall pledge me.  Sea. 
Not so, M. Security, he must not pledge his own health.  Secu. 
No Master Captain? Enter quicksilver with Winny disguised.  
Why then here's one is fitly come to do him that honour.  Quick. 
Here's the Gentlewoman your cousin sir, whom with much entreaty I have brought to take her leave of you in a Tavern; ashamed whereof, you must pardon her if she put not off her Mask.  Pet. 
Pardon me sweet cozen, my kind desire to see you before I went, made me so importunate to entreat your presence here.  Secu. 
How now M. Frances? have you honoured this presence with a fair Gentlewoman?  Quick. 
Pray sir, take you no notice of her, for she will not be known to you.  Secu. 
But my learned Counsel, M. Bramble here, I hope may know her.  Quick. 
No more than you sir, at this time, his learning must pardon her.  Secu. 
Well, God pardon her for my part, and I do I'll be sworn; and so Master Francis, here's to all that are going Eastward tonight, towards Cuckold's haven; and so to the health of Master Bramble.  Quick. 
I pledge it Sir, hath it gone round, Captains?  Sea. 
It has sweet Frank, and the round closes with thee.  Quic. 
Well Sir, here's to all Eastward & toward Cuckolds, & so to famous Cuckold's haven so fatally remembered. Surgit.  Pet. 
Nay pray thee coz weep not; Gossip Security?  Secu. 
I my brave Gossip.  Pet. 
A word I beseech you Sir; our friend, Mistress Bramble here, is so dissolved in tears, that she drowns the whole mirth of our meeting: sweet Gossip, take her aside and comfort her.  Secu. 
Pity of all true love, Mistress Bramble, what weep you to enjoy your love? what's the cause Lady? be't because your husband is so near, and your heart earns, to have a little abused him? alas, alas, the offence is too common to be respected; So great a grace, hath seldom chanced to so unthankful a woman; to be rid of an old jealous Dotard; to enjoy the arms, of a loving young Knight; that when your prickless Bramble is withered with grief of your loss, will make you flourish afresh in the Bed of a Lady.  Enter Drawer. Draw. 
Sir Petronel, here's one of your water men come to tell you, it willbe flood these three hours; and that 'twill be dangerous going against the Tide: for the sky is over cast, & there was a porpoise, even now seen at London bridge, which is always the messenger of tempests, he says.  Pet. 
A porpoise? what's that to th'purpose? charge him if he love his life to attend us: can we not reach Black wall (where my ship lies) against the tide, and in spite of Tempests? captains and Gentlemen, we'll begin a new ceremony at the beginning of our voyage, which I believe will be followed of all future adventurers.  Sea. 
What's that good Colonel?  Pet. 
This, Captain Seagull; we'll have our provided Supper brought a board Sir Francis Drakes Ship, that hath compassed the world: where with full Cups, and Banquets we will do sacrifice for a prosperous voyage. My mind gives me that some good Spirits of the waters should haunt the desert ribs of her; and be auspicious to all that honour her memory, and will with like Orgies, enter their voyages.  Sea. 
Rarely conceited; one health more to this motion, & aboard to perform it. He that will not this night be drunk, may he never be Sober. They compass in Winifrid, dance the drunken round, and drink carouses.  Bram. 
Sir Petronel and his honourable Captains in these young services, we old Servitors may be spared: We only came to take our leaves, and with one health to you all, I'll be bold to do so. Here neighbour Security, to the health of Sir Petronel, and all his Captains.  Secu. 
You must bend then Master Bramble; So, now I am for you: I have one corner of my brain, I hope, fit to bear one carouse more. Here Lady, to you that are encompassed there, & are ashamed of our company. Ha, ha, ha, by my troth, (my learned counsel Master Bramble) my mind runs so of Cuckold's haven tonight, that my Head runs over with admiration.  Bram. 
But is not that your wife, Neighbour?  Secu. 
No by my troth Master Bramble; ha, ha, ha, a Pox of all Cuckolds-havens I say.  Bram. 
A'my faith, her garments are exceeding like your wives.  Secu. 
Cucullus non facit Monachum, my learned Counsel; all are not Cuckolds that seem so, nor all seem not that are so. Give me your hand, my learned Counsel, you and I will sup somewhere else, then at Sir Frances Drakes ship tonight. adieu my Noble Gossip.  Bram. 
Good Fortune brave Captains; fair skies God send ye.  Omnes. 
Farewell my hearts, farewell.  Pet. 
Gossip, laugh no more at Cuckolds-haven Gossip.  Secu. 
I have done, I have done Sir, will you lead Master Bramble? ha, ha, ha.  Pet. 
Captain Seagull, charge a boat.  Omnes. 
A Boat, a boat, a boat. Exeunt.  Draw. 
You're in a proper taking indeed to take a Boat, especially at this time of night, and against Tide and Tempest; They say yet, drunken men never take harm; this night will try the truth of that Proverb. Exit.  Enter Security. Secu. 
What Winnie? Wife, I say? out of doors at this time! where should I seek the Gadfly? Billingsgate, Billingsgate,  Billingsgate. 
she's gone with the Knight, she's gone with the Knight; woe be to thee Billingsgate. A boat, a boat, a boat, a full hundred Marks for a boat. Exit.    

Actus Quartus. Scena Prima.  Enter Slitgut, with a pair of Ox horns, discovering Cuckolds-Haven above. Slit. 
All hail, fair Haven of married men only, for there are none but married men Cuckolds. For my part, I presume not to arrive here, but in my masters behalf, (a poor Butcher of Eastcheap) who sends me to set up (in honour of Saint Luke) these necessary Ensigns of his homage: And up I got this morning, thus early, to get up to the top of this famous Tree, that is all fruit and no leaves, to advance this Crest of my masters occupation. Up then, Heaven and Saint Luke bless me, that I be not blown into the Thames as I climb, with this furious Tempest; Slight, I think the Devil be abroad, in likeness of a storm, to rob me of my horns: Hark how he roars. Lord! what a coil the Thames keeps! she bears some unjust burden I believe, that she kicks and curvets thus to cast it: Heaven bless all honest passengers, that are upon her back now, for the Bit is out of her mouth I see, and she will run away with 'em. So, so, I think I have made it look the right way, it runs against London-Bridge (as it were) even full butt. And now, let me discover from this lofty prospect, what pranks the rude Thames plays in her desperate lunacy. O me, here's a Boat has been cast away hard by. Alas, alas, See one of her passengers, labouring for his life, to land at this Haven here; pray heaven he may recover it: His next land is even just under me; hold out yet a little: whatsoever thou art, pray, and take a good heart to thee. 'tis a man, take a man's heart to thee; yet a little further, get up a thy legs man: now, 'tis shallow enough. So, so, so! Alas, he's down again; hold thy wind Father: 'tis a man in a Nightcap. So! now he's got up again: now he's passed the worst: yet thanks be to heaven; he comes toward me pretty and strongly.  Enter Security without his hat, in an Nightcap, wet, band, etc. Secu. 
Heaven, I beseech thee, how have I offended thee! where am I cast ashore now, that I may go a righter way home by land? Let me see. O I am scarce able to look about me! where is there any sea-mark that I am acquainted withal?  Slit. 
Look up Father, are you acquainted with this Mark?  Secu. 
What! landed at Cuckold's haven? Hell and damnation. I will run back and drown myself. He falls down.  Slit. 
Poor man how weak he is! the weak water has washed away his strength.  See. 
Landed at Cuckolds haven? if it had not been to die twenty times alive, I should never have scaped death: I will never arise more: I will grovel here, and eat dirt till I be choked: I will make the gentle earth do that, which the cruel water has denied me.  Slit. 
Alas good father, be not so desperate; Rise man: if you will, I'll come presently and lead you home.  Secu. 
Home? shall I make any know my Home, that has known me thus abroad? how I owe shall I crouch away, that no eye may see me? I will creep on the earth while I live, and never look heaven in the face more. Exit creep.  Slit. 
What young Planet reigns now trow, that old men are so foolish? What desperate young Swaggerer would have been abroad such a wether as this, upon the water? Ay me, see a neither remnant of this unfortunate shipwreck! or some other. A woman! i'faith, a woman, though it be almost at S. Kathrin's, I discern it to be a woman for all her body is above the water, & her clothes swim about her most handsomely. O they bear her up most bravely! has not a woman reason to love the taking up of her clothes the better while she lives, for this? Alas, how busy the rude Thames is about her? A pox of'at wave. It will drown her, i'faith, 'twill drown her. Cry God mercy, she has scaped it! I thank heaven she has scaped it. O, how she swims like a Mermaid! some vigilant body look out, and save her. That's well said, just where the Priest fell in, there's one sets down a Ladder, and goes to take her up: God's blessing a thy heart boy, now take her up in thy arms and to bed with her. she's up, she's up! she's a beautiful woman I warrant her, the Billows durst not devour her.  Enter the Drawer in the Tavern before with Winifrid. Draw. 
How fare you now Lady?  Wynn. 
Much better, my good friend than I wish: as one desperate of her Fame, now my Life is preserved.  Draw. 
Comfort yourself; That power that preserved you from death: can likewise defend you from infamy, howsoever you deserve it. Were not you one that took Boat, late this night, with a Knight, and other Gentlemen at Billingsgate?  Wynn. 
Unhappy that I am, I was.  Draw. 
I am glad it was my good hap to come down thus far after you, to a house of my friends here in S. Katherine's, since I am now happily made a mean to your rescue, from the ruthless tempest; which (when you took Boat) was so extreme, and the Gentleman that brought you forth, so desperate and unsober, that I feared long ere this I should hear of your shipwreck, and therefore (with little other reason) made thus far this way: And this I must tell you, since perhaps you may make use of it, there was left behind you at our Tavern, brought by a Porter (hired by the young Gentleman that brought you) a Gentle woman's Gown, Hat, Stockings, and Shoes; which if they be yours, and you please to shift you, taking a hard bed here, in this house of my friend, I will presently go fetch you.  Wynn. 
Thanks my good friend, for your more than good news. The Gown with all things bound with it are mine; which if you please to fetch as you have promised, I will boldly receive the kind favour you have offered, till your return: entreating you, by all the good you have done in preserving me hitherto, to let none take knowledge of what favour you do me, or where such a one as I am bestowed, lest you incur me much more damage in my fame, than you have done me pleasure in preserving my life.  Draw. 
Come in Lady, and shift yourself; resolve, that nothing, but your own pleasure, shall be used in your discovery.  Wynn. 
Thank you good friend: the time may come, I shall requite you. Exeunt.  Slit. 
See, see, see! I hold my life, there's some other a taking up at Wapping, now! Look, what a sort of people cluster about the Gallows there! in good troth it is so. O me! a fine young Gentleman! What? and taken up at the Gallows? Heaven grant he be not one day taken down there: A, my life it is ominous. Well, he is delivered for the time, I see the people have all left him; yet will I keep my prospect a while, to see if any more have been shipwrecked. Enter Quick, barehead.  Quick. 
accursed, that ever I was saved, or borne.  
How fatal is my sad arrival here?  
As if the Stars, and Providence spoke to me,  
And said, the drift of all unlawful courses,  
( whatever end they dare propose themselves,  
In frame of their licentious policies.)  
In the firm order of just Destiny,  
They are the ready high ways to our Ruins.  
I know not what to do, my wicked hopes  
Are, with this Tempest, torn up by the roots.  
O, which way shall I bend my desperate steps,  
In which unsufferable Shame and Misery  
Will not attend them? I will walk this Bank,  
And see if I can meet the other relics  
Of our poor shipwrecked Crew, or hear of them.  
The Knight (alas) was so far gone with wine,  
And th'other three, that I refus de their Boat,  
And took the hapless Woman in another,  
Who cannot but be sunk, whatever Fortune  
Hath wrought upon the others' desperate lives.  Enter Petronel, and Seagul, bareheaded. Pet. 
Zounds Captain, I tell thee, we are cast up o'the Coast of France, 'sfoot, I am not drunk still, (I hope?) Dost remember where we were last Night?  Sea. 
No by my troth Knight, not I. but methinks we have been a horrible while upon the water, and in the water.  Pet. 
ay me we are undone for ever: hast any money about thee?  Sea. 
Not a penny by heaven.  Pet. 
Not a penny betwixt us, and cast ashore in France?  Sea. 
Faith I cannot tell that; my brains, nor mine eyes are not mine own, yet.  Enter 2. Gentlemen Pet. 
'sfoot wilt not believe me? I know't by th'elevation of the Pole; and by the altitude and latitude of the Climate. See! hers comes a couple of French Gentlemen; I knew we were in France: dost thou think our Englishmen are so Frenchified, that a man knows not whether he be in France, or in England, when he sees 'em? What shall we do? we must cene to 'em, and entreat some relief of 'em: Life is sweet, and we have no other means to relieve our lives now, but their Charities;  Sea. 
Pray you, do you beg on 'em then, you can speak French.  Pet. 
Monsieur, plaist il d'avoir pity de nostre grand infortunes? jesuis un pour Chevalier D'Angloterre qui a souffris infortune de Naufrage.  1. Gent. 
un pour Chevalier D'Angliterre?  Pet. 
Oui Monsieur, il est trop vraye; mais vous sçavez bien nous sums toutes subject a fortune.  2. Gent. 
A poor Knight of England? a poor Knight of Windsor, are you not? Why speak you this broken French, when you're a whole English man? on what coast are you, think you?  Pet. 
on the coast of France, sir.  1. Gen. 
On the cost of dogs Sir: You're i'th' I'll a dogs I tell you. I see you'ave been washed in the Thames here, & I believe ye were drowned in a Tavern before, or else you would never have took boat in such a dawning as this was. Farewell, farewell, we will not know you for shaming of you. I ken the man we'll, he's one of my thirty pound Knights.  2. Gen. 
No no, this is he that stole his knighthood o'the grand day, for four pound giving to a Page, all the money in's purse I wot well. Exeunt.  Sea. 
Death, Colonel, I knew you were over shot.  Pet. 
Sure I think now indeed, Captain Seagull, we were something overshot. Enter Quicksilver.  
What! my sweet Frank Quicksilver! dost thou survive to rejoice me? But what? nobody at thy heels, Frank? Ay me, what is become of poor Mistress Security.  Quick. 
Faith gone quite from her Name, as she is from her Fame I think; I left her to the mercy of the water.  Sea. 
Let her go, let her go: let us go to our ship at Blackwall and shift us.  Pet. 
Nay by my troth, let our clothes rot upon us. and let us rot in them: twenty to one our Ship is attached by this time? if we set her not under Sail this last Tide, I never looked for any other. Woe, woe is me, what shall become of us? the last money we could make, the greedy Thames has devoured; and if our Ship be attached, there is no hope can relieve us.  Quic. 
'sfoot Knight, what an unknightly faintness transports thee? let our Ship sink, and all the world that's without us be taken from us, I hope I have some tricks, in this brain of mine, shall not let us perish.  Sea. 
Well said Frank faith. O my nimble-spirited Quicksilver, fore-god, would thou hadst been our Colonel.  Petr. 
I like his spirit rarely, but I see no means he has to support that spirit.  Quic. 
Go to Knight, I have more means than thou art aware off: I have not lived amongst Goldsmiths and goldmakers all this while, but I have learned something worthy of my time with 'em. And, not to let thee stink where thou standst, Knight, I'll let thee know some of my skill presently.  Sea. 
Do good Francke I beseech thee.  Quic. 
I will blanch Copper so cunningly, that it shall endure all proofs, but the Test: it shall endure malleation, it shall have the ponderosity of Luna, and the tenacity of Luna, by no means friable.  Petr. 
'slight, where learnest thou these terms, trow?  Quic. 
Tush Knight, the terms of this Art, every ignorant Quacksalver is perfect in: but I'll tell you how yourself shall blanch Copper thus cunningly. Take arsenic, otherwise called Realga, (which indeed is plain Ratsbane) Sublime 'em three or four times, then take the Sublimate of this Realga, and put 'em into a Glass, into Chymia, & let 'em have a convenient decoction Natural, four and twenty hours, & he will become perfectly fixed: Then take this fixed powder, & project him upon well-purged Copper, et habebis Magistriū.  Ambo. 
Excellent Francke, let us hug thee.  Quick. 
Nay this I will do besides; I'll take you off twelve pence from every Angel, with a kind of Aquafortis, and never deface any part of the Image.  Pet. 
But then it will want weight?  Quic. 
You shall restore that thus: Take your sal Achyme prepared, and your distilled Urine; and let your Angels lie in it but four and twenty hours, and they shall have their perfect weight again: come on now I hope this is enough to put some spirit into the livers of you, I'll infuse more another time. We have saluted the proud Air long enough with our bare sconces, now will I have you to a wench's house of mine at London, there make shift to shift us, and after such fortunes as the stars shall assign us.  Ambo. 
Notable Frank! we will ever adore thee. Exeunt.  Enter Drawer with Winifrid, new attired. Wyn. 
Now sweet friend you have brought me near enough your Tavern, which I desired that I might with some colour be seen near, inquiring for my husband; who I must tell you stale thither last with my wet gown we have left at your friends: which, to continue your former honest kindness, let me pray you to keep close from the knowledge of any; and so, with all vow of your requital, let me now entreat you to leave me to my woman's wit, and fortune.  Draw. 
All shall be done you desire; and so, all the fortune you can wish for, attend you. Exit Draw.  Enter Security. Secu. 
I will once more to this unhappy Tavern before I shift one rag of me more, that I may there know what is left behind, and what news of their passengers. I have bought me a Hat and band with the little money I had about me, and made the streets a little leave staring at my nightcap.  Win. 
O my dear husband! where have you been tonight? all night abroad at Taverns? rob me of my garments? and fare as one run away from me? alas! is this seemly for a man of your credit? of your age? and affection to your wife?  Secu. 
What should I say? how miraculously sorts this? was not I at home, and called thee last night?  Win. 
Yes Sir, the harmless sleep you broke, and my answer to you would have witnessed it, if you had had the patience to have stayed and answered me; but your so sudden retreat, made me imagine you were gone to Master Brambles, and so rested patient, and hopeful of your coming again, till this your unbelieved absence brought me abroad with no less than wonder, to seek you, where the false Knight had carried you.  Secu. 
Villain, and Monster that I was, how have I abused thee, I was suddenly gone indeed! for my sudden jealousy transferred me. I will say no more but this dear wife I suspected thee.  Win. 
Did you suspect me?  Secu. 
Talk not of it I beseech thee, I am ashamed to imagine it; I will home, I will home, and every morning on my knees ask thee heartily forgiveness. Exeunt .Now will I descend my honourable Prospect; the farthest seeing Sea mark of the World: No marvel then if I could see two miles about me. I hope the red Tempests anger be now over blown, which sure I think Heaven sent as a punishment, for profaning holy Saint Luke's memory, with so ridiculous a custom. Thou dishonest Satire, farewell to honest married Men; Farewell, to all sorts, and degrees of thee. Farewell thou horn of hunger that call'st th'Inns o' court to their Manger; Farewell thou horn of abundance, that adornest the headsmen of the Commonwealth; Farewell thou home of Direction, that is the City lantern; Farewell thou Horn of Pleasure, the Ensign of the huntsman; Farewell thou Horn of Destiny, the sign of the married man; Farewell thou Horn Tree that bearest nothing but Stone fruit Exit.  Enter Touchstone. Touch. 
Ha Sirrah! Thinks my Knight Adventurer we can no point of our compass? Do we not know North-north-east? north-east and by East? East and by North! nor plain Eastward? Ha? have we never heard of Virginia? nor the Cavallaria? not the Colonoria? Can we discover no discoveries? well, mine errant Sir Flash, and my runagate Quicksilver, you may drink drunk, crack cans, hurl away a brown dozen of Monmouth caps or so, in sea-ceremony to your boon voyage but for reaching any Coast save the coast of Kent; or Essex, with this Tide, or with this fleet, I'll be your warrant for a Gravesend tossed: There's that gone afore, will stay your Admiral and vice-admiral, and Rear-admiral, were they all (as they are) but one Pinnace, and under sail, as well as a Remora, doubt it not; and from this Sconce, without either powder or shot, work upon that now. Nay, and you'll show tricks, we'll vie with you, a little. My Daughter, his Lady, was sent Eastward, by land, to a Castle of his, i'the air (in what region I know not) and (as I hear) was glad to take up her lodging in her Coach, she and her two waiting women, her maid, and her mother, like three Snails in a shall, and the Coachman atop on 'em, I think. Since they have all found the way back again by weeping Cross. But i'll not see them. And for two on 'em, Madam, and her Malkm, they are like to bite oh the bridle for William, as the poor horses have done all this while that hurried 'em, or else go graze o'the common: So should my Dame Touchstone too, but she has been my Cross these thirty years, and i'll now keep her, to fright away sprights; i'faith. I wonder I hear no news of my son Goulding! He was sent for to the Guildhall, this Morning betimes, and I marvel at the matter, if I had not laid up Comfort, & hope in him, I should grow desperate of all. See, He is come I'my thought! How now Son? what news at the Court of Aldermen?  Enter Goulding. Gould. 
Troth Sir, an Accident somewhat strange, else it hath little in it worth the reporting.  Touch. 
What? It is not borrowing of money then?  Gold. 
No sir it hath pleased the worshipful Commoners of the city, to take me one i'their number at presentation of the inquest  Touch. 
Ha!  Gould. 
And the Alderman of the ward wherein Idwel, to appoint me his Deputy—  Touch. 
how!  Gold. 
In which place, I have had an oath ministered me, since I went.  Touch. 
Now my dear, & happy Sonnellet we kiss thy new worship, & a little boast mine own happiness in thee: What a fortune was it (or rather my judgement indeed) for me, first to see that in his disposition, which a whole City so conspires to second? ta'e into the Livery of his company, the first day of his freedom? now (not a week married) chosen Commoner? and Alderman's Deputy in a day? note but the reward of a thrifty course. The wonder of his Time! Well, I will honour M. Alderman, for this act, (as becomes me) & shall think the better of the cômon Counsels wisdom, & worship, while I live, for thus meeting, or but coming after me in the opinion of his desert. Forward, my sufficient Son, and as this is the first, so esteem it the least step, to that high and prime honour that expects thee.  Goul. 
Sir, as I was not ambitious of this, so I covet no higher place; it hath dignity enough, if it will but save me from contempt: and I had rather my bearing, in this, or any other office, should add worth to it; than the Place give the least opinion to me.  Touch. 
Excellently spoken: This modest Answer of thine blushes, as if it said, I will wear Scarlet shortly. Worshipful Son! I cannot contain myself, I must tell thee, I hope to see thee one o'the Monuments of our City, and reckoned among her worthies, to be remembered the same day with the Lady Ramsey, and grave Gresham: when the famous fable of Whittington, and his puss, shallbe forgotten, and thou and thy Acts become the Posies for Hospitals, when thy name shall be written upon Conduits, and thy deeds played i'thy life time, by the best companies of Actors, and be called their Get-peny. This I divine. This I prophecy.  Gold. 
Sir, engage not your expectation farther, than my abilities will answer: I that know mine own strengths, fear 'em; and there is so seldom a loss in promising the least, that commonly it brings with it a welcome deceit. I have other news for you Sir.  Touch. 
None more welcome, I am sure?  Gould. 
They have their degree of welcome, I dare affirm. The Colonel, and all his company, this morning putting forth drunk from Belinsgate, had like to have been cast away o''is side Greenwich: and (as I have intelligence, by a false Brother,) are come dropping to town, like so many Masterless men, i'their doublets and hose, without Hat, or Cloak, or any other—  Touch. 
A miracle! the justice of Heaven! where are they? let's go presently and lay for 'em.  Goul. 
I have done that already Sir, both by Constables, and other officers, who shall take 'em at their old Anchor; and with less tumult, or suspicion, then if yourself were seen in't: under colour of a great Press, that is now abroad, and they shall here be brought afore me.  Touch. 
Prudent, & politic son! Disgrace 'em all that ever thou canst; their Ship I have already arrested. How to my wish it falls out, that thou hast the place of a justicer upon 'em! I am partly glad of the injury done to me, that thou mayst punish it. Be severe i'thy place, like a new officer o'the first quarter, unreflected: you hear how our Lady is come back with her train, from the invisible Castle?  Gould. 
No, where is she?  Touch. 
Within, but I ha' not seen her yet, not her mother; who now begins to wish her daughter undubbed, they say, and that she had walked a foot-pace with her sister. Here they come, stand back.  Touchstone, Mistress Touchstone, Gyrtrude, Goulding, Mildred, sindefy. 
God save your Ladyship; 'save your good Ladyship: your Ladyship is welcome from your enchanted Castle; so are your beauteous Retinue. I hear your Knight errant is travailed on strange adventures: Surely in my mind, your Ladyship hath fished fair, and caught a Frog, as the saying is.  Mist. Tou. 
Speak to your Father, Madam, & kneel down.  Gyrt. 
Kneel? I hope I am not brought so low yet: though my Knight be run away, & has sold my land, I am a Lady, still.  Touch. 
Your Ladyship says true, Madam, & it is fitter, and a greater decorum, that I should curtsy to you that are a knight's wife, and a Lady, than you be brought a'your knees to me, who am a poor Cullion, and your Father.  Gyr. 
la! my Father knows his duty.  Mist. Tou. 
O child!  Touch. 
And therefore I do desire your Ladyship, my good Lady Flash in all humility, to depart my obscure Cottage, and return in quest of your bright, and most transparent Castle, however presently concealed to mortal eyes. And as for one poor woman of your train here, I will take that order, she shall no longer be a charge unto you, nor help to spend your Ladyship; she shall stay at home with me, and not go abroad, not put you to the pawning of an odd Coach-horse, or three wheels, but take part with the Touchstone: If we lack, we will not complain to your Ladyship. And so good Madam, with your Damoselle here, please you to let us see your straight backs, in equipage; for truly, here is no roost for such Chickens as you are, or birds o'your feather, if it like your Ladyship.  Gyrt. 
Mary, fist o'your kindness. I thought as much. Come away Sin, we shall assoon get a fart from a dead man, as a farthing of curtsy here.  Mild. 
O, good Sister!  Gyrt. 
Sister, sir reverence? come away, I say, Hunger drops out at his nose.  Goul. 
O Madam, Fair words never hurt the tongue.  Gyrt. 
How say you by that? you come out with your gold ends now!  Mi. Tou. 
Stay Lady-daughter: good husband.  Touch. 
Wife, no man loves his fetters, be they made of gold: I list not ha' my head fastened under my child's girdle; as she has brewed, so let her drink, a God's name: she went witless to wedding, now she may go wisely a-begging. It's but honeymoon yet with her Ladyship; she has Coach horses, Apparel, jewels yet left, she needs care for no friends, nor take knowledge of Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, or anybody: When those are pawned, or spent, perhaps we shall return into the list of her acquaintance.  Gyrt. 
I scorn it i'faith. Come Sin. (Exit Gyrt.  Mi. Tou. 
O Madam, why do you provoke your Father, thus?  Touch. 
Nay, nay, e'en let Pride go afore, Shame will follow after, I warrant you. Come, why dost thou weep now? thou art not the first good Cow haste had an ill Calf, I trust. What's the news, with that fellow? Enter Constable.  Goul. 
Sir, the Knight, and your man quicksilver are without, will you ha' 'em brought in?  Touch. 
O by any means. And Son, here's a Chair; appear terrible unto 'em, on the first enter view. Let them behold the melancholy of a Magistrate, and taste the fury of a Citizen in office.  Goul. 
Why Sir, I can do nothing to 'em, except you charge 'em with somewhat.  Touch. 
I will charge 'em, and recharge 'em, rather than Authority should want foil to set it of.  Gould. 
No good Sir, I will not.  Touch. 
Son, it is your place; by any means.  Goul. 
Believe it, I will not Sir.  Enter Knight Petronell, quicksilver, Constable, Officers. Pet. 
How Misfortune pursues us still in our misery!  Quic. 
Would it had been my fortune, to have been trust up at Wapping, rather than ever ha' come here.  Pet. 
Or mine, to have famished in the Island.  Quic. 
Must Goulding sit upon us?  Consta. 
You might carry an M. under your girdle to Master Deputy's worship.  Gould. 
What are those, master Constable?  Const. 
an't please your worship, a couple of Masterless men, I priest for the Low-countries, Sir.  Goul. 
Why do you not carry 'em to Bridewell, according to your order, they may be shipped away?  Const. 
An't please your Worship, one of'em says he is a Knight; and we thought good to show him to your worship, for our discharge.  Goul. 
Which is he?  Const. 
This Sir.  Goul. 
And what's the other?  Const. 
A knight's Fellow Sir, an't please you.  Goul. 
What? a Knight, and his Fellow thus accoutred? Where are their Hats and Feathers, their Rapiers, and their Cloaks?  Quic. 
O they mock us.  Const. 
Nay truly sir, they had cast both their Feathers, and Hats too, before we see 'em. Here's all their furniture, an't please you, that we found. They say, Knights are now to be known without Feathers, like cockerels by their Spurs, Sir.  Goul. 
What are their names, say they?  Touch. 
Very well this. He should not take knowledge of 'em in his place, endeavoured.  Con. 
This is Sir Petronel Flash.  Touch. 
How!  Con. 
And this Francis quicksilver.  Touch. 
Is't possible? I thought your Worship had been gone for Virginia, Sir. You are welcome home sir. Your Worship has made a quick return, it seems and no doubt a good voyage. Nay pray you be covered Sir. How did your biscuit hold out Sir? methought, I had seen this Gentlemen afore; good Master quicksilver! How a degree to the Southward has changed you.  Gould. 
Do you know 'em Father? Forbear your offers a little, you shall be heard anon.  Touch. 
Yes, Master Deputy: I had a small venture with them in the voyage, a Thing, called a Son in Law, or so. Officers, you may let 'em stand alone, they will not run away, I'll give my word for them. A couple of very honest Gentlemen. One of 'em was my Prentice, M. Quicksilver, here, & when he had 2. year to serve, kept his whore, & his hunting Nag, would play his 100. pound at Gresco, or Primero, as familiarly (& all a'my purse) as any bright piece of Crimson on 'em all, had his changeable trunks of Apparel, standing at livery, with his Mare, his Chest of perfumed linen, and his Bathing tubs, which when I told him off, why he— he was a Gentleman, and I a poor Cheapside Groom. The remedy was, we must part. Since when he hath had the gift of gathering up some small parcels of mine, to the value of 500. pound dispersed among my customers to furnish this his Virginian venture; wherein this knight was the chief, sir Flash: one that married a daughter of mine, Ladified her, turned two thousand pounds worth of good land of hers, into Cash, within the first week, bought her a new Gown, & a Coach, sent her to seek her fortune by land, whilst himself prepared for his fortune by sea, took in fresh flesh at Billingsgate, for his own diet, to serve him the whole voyage, the wife of a certain usurer, called Security, who hath been the broker for 'em in all this business: Please Master Deputy, Work upon that now.  Goul. 
If my worshipful Father have ended.  Touch. 
I have, it shall please M. Deputy.  Goul. 
Well then, under correction.—  Touch. 
Now son, come over 'em with some fine gird, as thus, Knight you shall be encountered, that is, had to the Counter; or Quicksilver, I will put you in a crucible or so.  Gould. 
Sir Petronel Flash, I am sorry to see such flashes as these proceed from a Gentleman of your Quality, & Rank; For mine own part, I could wish, I could say, I could not see them: but such is the misery of Magistrates, and men in Place, that they must not wink at Offenders. Take him aside, I will hear you anon sir.  Tou. 
I like this well yet: there's some grace i'the knight, left, He cries.  Goul. 
Francis Quicksilver, would God thou hadst turned Quacksalver, rather than run into these dissolute, & lewd courses; It is great pity, thou art a proper young man, of an honest and clean face, somewhat near a good one, (God hath done his part in thee) but, thou haste made too much, and been too proud of that face, with the rest of thy body; for maintenance of which in neat and garish attire, (only to be looked upon by some light housewives) thou hast prodigally consumed much of thy Master's estate: and being by him gently admonished, at several times, hast returned thyself haughty, and rebellious, in thine answers, thundering out uncivil comparisons, requiting all his kindness with a course and harsh behaviour, never returning thanks for any one benefit, but receiving all, as if they had been Debts to thee, & no Courtesies. I must tell thee Francis, these are manifest signs of an ill nature; and God doth often punish such pride, and outrecuidance, with scorn and infamy, which is the worst of misfortune. My worshipful father, what do you please to charge them withal? from the press I will free 'em Master Constable.  Const. 
Then i'll leave your worship, Sir.  Gold. 
No, you may stay, there will be other matters against 'em.  Touch. 
Sir I do charge this Gallant, Master Quicksilver, on suspicion of Felony; and the Knight as being accessary, in the receipt of my goods.  Quick. 
O God Sir!  Touch. 
Hold thy peace, impudent varlet, hold thy peace. With what forehead or face, dost thou offer to chop Logic with me, having run such a race of Riot, as thou hast done? does not the sight of this worshipful man's fortune & temper, confound thee, that was thy younger fellow in household, and now come to have the place of a judge upon thee? Dost not observe this? Which of all thy Gallants, & Gasters, thy Swearers & thy Swaggerers, will come now to moan thy misfortune, or pity thy penury? They le look out at a window, as thou rid'st in triumph to Tyburn, and cry, yonder goes honest Frank, mad Quicksilver; He was a free boon companion, when he had money, says one; Hang him fool, says another, he could not keep it when he had it; A pox o'the Cullion his Mr. (says a third) he has brought him to this: when their Pox of pleasure, & their piles of perdition, would have been better bestowed upon thee, that hast ventured for 'em with the best, and by the clew of thy knavery, brought thyself weeping, to the Cart of Calamity.  Quic. 
Worshipful Master.  Touch. 
Offer not to speak, Crocodile, I will not hear a sound come from thee. Thou hast learned to whine at the Play yonder. Master Deputy, pray yond commit 'em both to safe custody, till I be able farther to charge 'em.  Quic. 
O me, what an infortunate thing am I!  Pet. 
Will you not take security Sir.  Touch. 
Yes mary will I sir Flash, if I can find him, & charge him as deep as the best on you. He has been the plotter of all this: he is your engineer, I hear. Master Deputy, you'll dispose of these? In the mean time, I'll to my Lo. Mayor, & get his warrant, to seize that Serpent Security into my hands, & seal up both house, and goods, to the king's use, or my satisfaction.  Goul. 
Officers take 'em to the Counter.  Qui. & Pet. 
O God.  Touch. 
Nay on, on: you see the issue of your Sloth. Of Sloth cometh Pleasure, of Pleasure cometh Riot, of Riot comes Whoring, of Whoring comes Spending, of Spending comes Want, of Want comes Theft, of Theft comes Hanging; and there is my quicksilver fixed. Exeunt.   

Actus Quintus. Scena Prima.  

Gertrude.  
sindefy.   Gyr. 
Ah Sin! hast thou ever read i'the Chronicle of any Lady, and her waiting-woman, driven to that extremity, that we are, Sin?  Syn. 
Not I truly, Madam, and if I had, it were but cold comfort, should come out of books, now.  Gyr. 
Why, good faith Sin, I could dine with a lamentable story, now. O hone, hone, o no nera, etc. Canst thou tell near a one, Sin?  Sin. 
None, but mine own, Madam, which is lamentable enough; first to be stolen from my Friends, which were worshipful, and of good account, by a Prentice, in the habit and disguise of a Gentleman, and here brought up to London, and promised marriage, and now likely to be forsaken (for he is in possibility to be hanged.)  Gyr. 
Nay weep not good Sin. My Petronel, is in as good possibility as he. Thy miseries, are nothing to mine, Sin: I was more than promised marriage, Sin, I had it Sin: & was made a Lady; and by a Knight, Sin: which is now as good as no Knight, Sin: And I was borne in London, which is more than brought up, Sin: and already forsaken; which is past likelihood, Sin: and in stead of Land i'the Country, all my Knights Living lies i'the Counter, Sin. there's his Castle now?  Syn. 
Which he cannot be forced out off, Madam.  Gyr. 
Yes, if he would live hungry a week, or two. Hunger they say breaks stone walls. But he is e'en well enough served, Sin, that so soon as ever he had got my hand to the sale of my inheritance run away from me, and I had been his Punk, God bless us. Would the Knight o'the Sun, or Palmerin of England, have used their Ladies so, Sin? or sir Lancelot? or sir Tristram?  Syn. 
I do not know, Madam.  Gry, 
Then thou know'st nothing, Sin. Thou art a Fool, Sin. The Knighthood now a days, are nothing like the Knighthood of old time. They rid a horseback Ours go afoot. They were attended by their Squires. Our by their lackeys. They went buckled in their Armour, Ours muffled in their Cloaks. They travailed wildernesses; & deserts, Ours dare scarce walk the streets. They were still priest to engage their Honour, Ours still ready to pawn their clothes. They would gallop on at sight of a Monster, Ours run away at sight of a Sergeant. They would help poor Ladies, Ours make poor Ladies.  Syn. 
I Madam, they were Knights of the Round-Table at Winchester, that sought Adventures, but these of the Square Table at Ordinaries, that sit at Hazard.  Gyr. 
True Sin, let him vanish And tell me, what shall we pawn next  Syn. 
I mary, Madam, a timely consideration, for our Hosts (profane woman) has sworn by bread, & salt, she will not trust us another meal.  Gyr. 
Let it stink in her hand then: I'll not be beholding to her. Let me see, my jewels begone, & my Gowns, & my red velvet Petticoat, that I was married in, & my wedding silk stockings, & all thy best apparel, poor Sin. Good faith, rather them thou shouldest pawn a rag more, I'd lay my Ladyship in lavender, if I knew where.  Syn. 
Alas, Madam, your Ladyship?  Gir. 
ay, why? you do not scorn my Ladyship, though it is in a Waistcoat? God's my life, you are a peat indeed! do I offer to mortgage my Ladyship, for you, and for your avail, and do you turn the Lip, and the Alas to my Ladyship?  Syn. 
No Madam, but I make question, who will lend any thing upon it?  Gyr. 
Who? marry enough, I warrant you, if you'll seek 'em out. I'm sure I remember the time, when I would ha' given a thousand pound, (if I had had it) to have been a Lady; and I hope I was not bred and borne with that appetite alone: some other gentle-born o'the City, have the same longing I trust. And for my part, I would afford 'em a pennyworth, my Ladyship is little the worse, for the wearing, and yet I would bate a good deal of the sum. I would lend it (let me see) for 40 li. in hand, Sin, that would apparel us; and ten pound a year: that would keep me, and you, Sin, (with our needles) and we should never need to be beholding to our scurvy Parents? Good Lord, that there are no Fairies now adays, Sin.  Syn. 
Why madam?  Gyr. 
To do Miracles, and bring ladies money. Sure, if we lay in a cleanly house, they would haunt it, Sin? I'll try. I'll sweep the Chamber soon at night, & set a dish of water o'the Hearth. A Fairy may come, and bring a Pearl, or a Diamond we do not know Sin? Or, there may be a pot of Gold hid o'the backside, if we had tools to dig for't? why may not we two rise early i'the morning (Sin) afore anybody is up, and find a jewel, i'the streets, worth a 100. li.? May not some great Court-Lady, as she comes from Revels at midnight, look out of her Coach, as 'tis running, and lose such a jewel, and we find it? Ha?  Syn. 
They are pretty waking dreams; these.  Gyr. 
Or may not some old Usurer be drunk overnight, with a Bag of money, and leave it behind him on a Stall? for Godsake, Sin, let's rise tomorrow by break of day, and see. I protest law, If I had as much money as an Alderman, I would scatter some on't, i'th' streets for poor Ladies to find, when their Knights were laid up. And, now I remember my Song o'the Golden shower, why may not I have such a fortune?  
I'll sing it, and try what luck I shall have after it.  

Fond Fables tell of old,  
How love in Danae's lap  
Fell in a shower of Gold,  
By which she caught a clap;  
O, had it been my hap,  
( howe'er the blow doth threaten)  
So well I like the play,  
That I could wish all day  
And night to be so beaten.   Enter Mistress Touchstone. 
O, here's my Mother! good luck, I hope. Ha' you brought any money, Mother? Pray you Mother, your Blessing. Nay, sweet Mother, do not weep.  Mistress Touch. 
God bless you; I would I were in my Grave.  Gyr. 
Nay, dear Mother, can you steal no more money from my father? dry your eyes, & comfort me. Alas, it is my knight's fault, and not mine, that I am in a Waistcoat, and attired thus simply.  Mistress Touch. 
Simply? 'tis better than thou deserv'st. Never whimper for the matter. Thou shouldst have looked, before thou hadst leapt. Thou wert afire to be a Lady, and now your ladyship and you may both blow at the Coal, for aught I know. Self do, self have. The hasty person never wants woe, they say.  Gyr. 
Nay then Mother, you should ha' looked to it; A body would think you were the older: I did but my kind, l. He was a Knight, and I was fit to be a Lady. 'tis not lack of lying, but lack of living, that severs us. And you talk like yourself and a citiner in this, i'faith. You show what Husband you come on iwis. You smell the Touchstone. He that will do more for his daughter, that he has married a scurvy Gold-end man, and his Prentice, than he will for his tother Daughter, that has wedded a Knight, and his Customer. By this light, I think he is not my legitimate Father.  Syn. 
O good Madam, do not take up your mother so.  Mistress. Touch. 
Nay, nay, let her cene alone. Let her ladyship grieve me still, with her bitter taunts and terms. I have not dole enough to see her in this miserable case, l? without her Velvet gowns, without Ribbons, without jewels, without French-wires, or Cheat bread, or Quails, or a little Dog, or a Gentleman Usher, or any thing indeed, that's fit for a Lady.—  Syn. 
Except her tongue.  Mistress Touch. 
And I not able to relieve her neither, being kept so short, by my husband. Well, God knows my heart. I did little think, that ever she should have had need of her sister Golding.  Gyr. 
Why Mother, I ha' not yet. Alas, good Mother, be not intoxicate for me, I am well enough. I would not change husbands with my Sister, I. The leg of a Lark is better than the body of a kite.  Mistress Touch. 
I know that. But—  Gyr. 
What sweet Mother, What?  Mistress Touchstone. 
It's but ill food, when nothing's left but the Claw.  Gyr. 
That's true Mother; ay me.  Mistress Touchstone. 
Nay, sweet Ladybird, sigh not. Child, madam. Why do you weep thus? Be of good cheer. I shall die, if you cry, and mar your complexion, thus?  Gyr. 
Alas Mother, what should I do,  Mistress Touch. 
Go to thy Sister's Child, she'll be proud, thy Ladyship will come under her roof. she'll win thy Father to release thy Knight, and redeem thy Gowns, and thy Coach, and thy Horses, and set thee up again.  Gyr. 
But will she get him to set my Knight up, too?  Mistress Touchstone. 
That she will, or any thing else thou'lt ask her.  Gyr. 
I will begin to love her, if I thought she would do this.  Mistress. Touch. 
Try her good Chuck, I warrant thee.  Gyr. 
Dost thou think she'll do't?  Syn. 
I madam, and be glad you will receive it.  Mistress. Touch. 
That's a good Maiden, she tells you true. Come, I'll take order for your debts i the Alehouse.  Gyr. 
Go, Sin, and pray for thy Frank, as I will, for my Pet.  Enter Touchstone, Goulding, Wolf. Touch. 
I will receive no Letters, M wolf, you shall pardon me.  Gould. 
Good Father let me entreat you.  Touch. 
Son Goulding, I will not be tempted, I find mine own easy nature, and I know not what a well-penned subtle Letter may work upon it: There may be Tricks, Packing, do you see? Return with your Packet, Sir.  Wolf. 
Believe it Sir, you need fear no packing here. These are but Letters of Submission, all.  Touch. 
Sir, I do look for no Submission. I will bear myself in this like Blind justice, Work upon that now. When the Sessions come, they shall hear from me.  Gould. 
From whom come your Letters, M. Wolf?  Wolf. 
an't please you Sir. One from Sir Petronel. Another from Francis quicksilver. And a third, from old Security, who is almost mad in Prison. There are two, to your worship: One from M. Francis, Sir. Another from the Knight.  Touch. 
I do wonder, M. Wolf, why you should travail thus, in a business so contrary to kind, or the nature o'your Place! that you being the Keeper of a Prison, should labour the release of your Prisoners! Whereas methinks, it were far more Natural, & Kindly in you, to be ranging about for more, & not let these scape you have already under the Tooth. But they say, you Wolves, when you ha' sucked the blood once, that they are dry, you ha' done.  Wolf. 
Sir, your Worship may descant as you please o'my name, but I protest, I was never so mortified with any men's discourse, or behaviour in Prison; yet I have had of all sorts of men i'the Kingdom, under my Keys, & almost of all Religions i'the land, as Papist, Protestant, puritan, Brownist, Anabaptist, Millenary, Family o' Love, Jew, Turk, Infidel, Atheist, Good Fellow, etc.  Gould. 
And which of all these (thinks M. Wolf) was the best Religion?  Wolf. 
Troth, M. Deputy, they that pay Fees best: we never examine their consciences farther.  Gould. 
I believe you M. Wolf. Good faith, Sir, Here's a great deal of humility i'these Letters.  Wolf. 
Humility, Sir? ay, were your Worship an eye-witness of it, you would say so. The Knight will i'the Knights-Ward, do what we can Sir, and Master quicksilver, would be i'the Hole, if we would let him. I never knew, or saw Prisoners more penitent, or more devout. They will sit you up all night singing of Psalms, and edifying the whole Prison only, Security sings a note too high, sometimes, because he lies i'the Twopenny ward. far off, and can not take his tune. The Neighbours can not rest for him, but come every Morning to ask, what godly Prisoners we have.  Touch. 
Which on 'em is't is so devout, the Knight, or the tother?  Wolf. 
Both Sir. But the young Man especially! I never heard his like! He has cut his hair too. He is so well given, and has such good gifts! He can tell you, almost all the Stories of the Book of Martyrs, and speak you all the Sick-man's Salve without Book.  Touch 
ay, if he had had grace, he was brought up where it grew, I wis. On Master Wolf.  Wolfe. 
And he has converted one Fangs a sergeant, a fellow could neither write, nor read, he was called the Bandog o'the Counter: and he has brought him already to pare his nails, and say his prayers, and 'tis hoped, he will sell his place shortly, and become an Intelligencer.  Touch. 
No more, I am coming all ready. If I should give any farther ear, I were taken. adieu good Master Wolf. Son, I do feel mine own weaknesses, do not importune me. Pity is a Rheum, that I am subject too, but I will resist it. Master Wolf, Fish is cast away, that is cast in dry Pools: Tell Hypocrisy, it will not do, I have touched, and tried too often; I am yet proof, and I will remain so: when the Sessions come, they shall hear from me. In the mean time, to all suits, to all entreaties, to all letters, to all tricks, I will be deaf as an Adder, and blind as a Beetle, lay mine care to the ground, and lock mine eyes i'my hand, against all temptations. Exit.  Gold. 
You see, master Wolf, how inexorable he is. There is no hope to recover him Pray you commend me to my brother Knight, and to my fellow Francis, present 'em with this small token of my love; tell 'em, I wish I could do 'em any worthier office, but in this, 'tis desperate: yet I will not fail to try the uttermost of my power for 'em. And sir, as far as I have any credit with you pray you let 'em want nothing: though I am not ambitious, they should know so much.  Wolse. 
Sir, both your actions, and words speak you to be a true Gentleman. They shall know only what is fit, and no more. Exeunt.  

Holdfast.  
Bramble.  
Security.   Hold. 
Who would you speak with, Sir?  Brā. 
I would speak with one Security, that is prisoner here.  Hold. 
You're welcome Sir. Stay there i'll call him to you. Master Security.  Secu. 
Who calls?  Hold. 
Here's a Gentleman would speak with you.  Secu. 
What is he? Is't one that grafts my forehead now I am in prison, and comes to see how the horns shoot up, and prosper.  Hold. 
You must pardon him Sir: The old man is a little crazed with his imprisonment.  Secu. 
What say you to me, Sir? Look you here. My learned Counsel, M. Bramble! Cry you mercy, Sir: when saw you my wife?  Bram. 
she is now at my house, Sir, and desired me that I would come to Visit you and inquire of you your Case, that we might work some means to get you forth.  Secur. 
My Case, M. Bramble, is stone walls, and iron grates; you see it, this is the weakest part on't. And, for getting me forth, no means but hang myself, and so to be carried forth, from which they have here bound me, in intolerable bands.  Bram. 
Why but what is't you are in for, Sir?  Secu. 
For my Sins, for my sins Sir, whereof Marriage, is the greatest. O, had I never married, I had never known this Purgatory, to which Hell is a kind of cool  in respect: My wives confederacy Sir, with old Touchstone, that she might keep her Jubilee, and the Feast of her new-moon. Do you understand me Sir? Enter quicksilver.  Quick. 
Good Sir, go in and talk with him. The Light does him harm, and his example will be hurtful to the weak Prisoners. Fit, Father Security, that you'll be still so profane, will nothing humble you? Enter two Prisoners, with a Friend.  Friend. 
What's he?  Pri. 1. 
O he is a rare young man. Do you not know him?  Frien. 
Not I. I never saw him. I can remember.  Pri. 2. 
Why, it is he that was the gallant Prentice of London, M. touchstone's man.  Frien. 
Who quicksilver?  Pri. 1. 
ay, this is he.  Frien. 
Is this he? They say, he has been a Gallant indeed.  Pris. 
O, the royal est fellow, that ever was bred up i'the City. He would play you his thousand pound, a night at Dice; keep Knights and Lords Company; go with them to bawdy houses; had his fix men in a Livery; kept a stable of Hunting horses; and his Wench in her velvet Gown, and her Cloth of silver. Here's one Knight with him here in Prison.  Frien. 
And how miserably he is changed!  Pris. 1. 
O, that's voluntary in him; he gave away all his rich clothes, assoon as ever he came in here, among the Prisoners: and will eat o'the Basket, for humility.  Friend. 
Why will he do so?  Pris. 2. 
Alas he has no hope of life. He mortifies himself. He does but linger on, till the Sessions.  Pris. 2. 
O, he has penned the best thing, that he calls his Repentance, or his Last Farewell, that ever you heard: He is a pretty Poet, and for Prose— You would wonder how many Prisoners he has helped out, with penning Petitions for 'em, and not take a penny. Look, this is the Knight, in the rug Gown. Standby.  Enter Petronel, Bramble, quicksilver, Wolf. Bram. 
Sir, for Securities Case, I have told him; Say he should be condemned to be carted, or whipped, for a Bawd, or so, why I'll lay an Execution on him o'two hundred pound, let him acknowledge a judgement, he shall do it in half an hour, they shall not all fetch him out, without paying the Execution, o'my word.  Pet. 
But can we not be bailed M. Bramble?  Bram. 
Hardly, there are none of the judges in Town, else you should remove yourself (in spite of him) with a Habeas Corpus: But if you have a Friend to deliver your tale sensibly to some justice o'the Town, that he may have feeling of it, (do you see) you may be bailed. For as I understand the Case, 'tis only done, In Terrorem, and you shall have an Action of false Imprisonment against him, when you come out: and perhaps a thousand pound Costs. Enter M. Wolf.  Quick. 
How now, M, Wolf? What news? what return?  Wolf. 
Faith, bad all: yonder will be no Letters received. He says the Sessions shall determine it. Only, M. Deputy Golding commends him to you, and with this token, wishes he could do you other good.  Quick. 
I thank him. Good M. Bramble, trouble our quiet no more; do not molest us in Prison thus, with your winding devices: Pray you depart. For my part, I commit my cause to him that can succour me, let God work his will. M. Wolf, I pray you let this be distributed, among the Prisoners, and desire 'em to pray for us.  Wolf. 
It shall be done, M. Francis.  Pris. 1. 
An excellent temper!  Pris. 2. 
Now God send him good-luck. Exeunt.  Pet. 
But what said my Father in Law, M. Wolf?  Enter Hold. Hold. 
Here's one would speak with you, Sir.  Wolf. 
I'll tell you anon Sir Petronel. who is't?  Hold. 
A Gentleman, Sir, that will not be seen. Enter Gold.  Wolf. 
Where is he? M. Deputy! your wor. is welcome.—  Gold. 
Peace!  Wolf. 
Away, Sirrah.  Gold. 
Good faith, M. Wolf, the estate of these Gentlemen, for whom you were so late and willing a Suitor, doth much affect me: and because I am desirous to do them some fair office, and find there is no means to make my Father relent, so likely, as to bring him to be a Spectator of their Miseries; I have ventured on a device, which is, to make make myself your Prisoner: entreating, you will presently go report it to my Father, and (feigning, an Action, at suit of some third person) pray him by this Token, that he will presently, and with all secrecy, come hither for my Bail; which train, (if any) I know will bring him abroad; and then, having him here, I doubt not but we shall be all fortunate, in the Event.  Woolf. 
Sir, I will put on my best speed, to effect it. Please you come in.  Gold. 
Yes; And let me rest concealed, I pray you.  Wolf. 
See, here a Benefit, truly done; when it is done timely, freely, and to no Ambition. Exit.  Enter Touchstone, Wife, Daughters, Sin, Winifred. Touch-stone. 
I will sail by you, and not hear you, like the wise Ulysses.  Mild. 
Dear Father.  Mistress Touch. 
Husband.  Gyr. 
Father.  Win. & Syn. 
M. Touchstone.  Touc. 
away sirens, I will immure myself, against your cries; and lock myself up to our Lamentations.  Mistress Touch. 
Gentle Husband, hear me.  Gyr. 
Father, It is I Father; my Lady Flash: my sister and I am Friends.  Mil. 
Good Father.  Wyn. 
Be not hardened, good M. Touchstone.  Syn. 
I pray you, Sir, be merciful.  Touch. 
I am dease, I do not hear you; I have stopped mine ears, with shoemakers wax, and drunk Lethe, and Mandragora to forget you: All you speak to me, I commit to the Air. Enter Wolf.  Mil. 
How now, M. Wolf?  Wolf. 
Where's M. Touchstone? I must speak with him presently: I have lost my breath for haste.  Mild. 
What's the matter Sir? pray all be well.  Wolfe. 
Master Deputy Goulding is arrested upon an execution, and desires him presently to come to him, forthwith.  Mild. 
ay me; do you hear Father?  Touch. 
Tricks, tricks, confederacy, tricks, I have 'em in my nose, I sent 'em.  Wol. 
Who's that? master Touchstone?  Mi. Tou. 
Why it is M. Wolf himself, husband.  Mil. 
Father.  Touch. 
I am dease still, I say: I will neither yield to the song of the Siren, nor the voice of the Hyena, the tears of the Crocodile, nor the howling o'the Wolf: avoid my habitatio monsters,  Wolf. 
Why you are not mad Sir? I pray you look forth, and see the token I have brought you, Sir.  Touch. 
Ha! what token is it?  Wolf. 
Do you know it Sir?  Tou. 
My son Goulding's ring! Are you in earnest Mai. Wolfe?  Wolf. 
I by my faith sir. He is in prison, and required me to use all speed, and secrecy to you.  Touch. 
My Cloak there (pray you be patient) I am plagued for my Austerity; my Cloak: at whose suit master Wolf?  Wolfe. 
I'll tell you as we go sir. Exeunt.  Enter Friend. Prisoners. Frie. 
Why, but is his offence such as he cannot hope of life?  Pri. 1. 
Troth it should seem so: and 'tis great pity; for he is exceeding penitent.  Fri. 
They say he is charged but on suspicion of Felony, yet.  Pri. 2. 
ay but his master is a shrewd fellow, he'll prove great matter against him.  Fri. 
I'd as live as any thing, I could see his Farewell.  Pri. 1. 
O 'tis rarely written: why Tobis may get him to sing it to you, he's not curious to anybody.  Pri. 1. 
O no. He would that all the world should take knowledge of his Repentance, and thinks he merits in't, the more shame he suffers.  Pri. 1. 
Pray thee try, what thou canst do.  Pri. 2. 
I warrant you, he will not deny it; if he be not hoarse with the often repeating of it. Exit.  Pri. 1. 
You never saw a more courteous creature, than he is; and the Knight too: the poorest Prisoner of the house may command 'em. You shall hear a thing, admirably penned.  Fri. 
Is the Knight any, Scholar too?  Pris. 1. 
No, but he will speak very well, and discourse admirably of running Horses, and White-Friers, and against Bawds; and of Cocks; and talk as loud as a Hunter, but is none.  Enter Wolf and Touchstone. Wolf. 
Please you stay here sir, i'll call his worship down to you.  Pris. 1. 
See, he has brought him, and the Knight too. Salute him I pray, Sir, this Gentleman, upon our report, is very desirous to hear some piece of your Repentance. Enter Quick. Pet. etc.  Quic. 
Sir, with all my heart, & as I told M. toby, I shall be glad to have any man a witness of it. And the more openly I profess it, I hope it will appear the heartier and the more unfeigned.  Touch. 
Who is this? my man Francis? and my son in Law?  Quick. 
Sir, it is all the Testimony I shall leave behind me to the World, and my Master, that I have so offended.  Friend. 
Good Sir  Qui. 
I writ it, when my spirits were oppressed.  Pet. 
ay, I'll be sworn for you Francis.  Quick. 
It is in imitation of Manington's; he that was hanged at Cambridge, that cut of the horse's head at a blow.  Frie. 
So sir.  Quick. 
To the tune of I wail in woe, I plunge in pain.  Pet. 
An excellent Ditty it is, and worthy of a new tune.  Qui. 
In Cheapside famous for Gold & Plate,  
Quicksilver I did dwell of late:  
I had a Master good, and kind,  
That would have wrought me to his mind.  
He bade me still, Work upon that,  
But alas I wrought I knew not what.  
He was a Touchstone black, but true:  
And told me still, what would ensue,  
Yet, woe is me, I would not learn,  
I saw, alas, but could not discern.  Frien. 
Excellent, excellent well.  Gould. 
O let him alone, He is taken already.  Quic. 
I cast my Coat, and Cap away,  
I went in silkci, and satins gay,  
False metal of good manners, I  
Did daily coint W.  
I scorned my Master, being drunk.  
I kept my Golding, and my Punk,  
And with a knight, sir Flash, by name,  
(Who now is sorry for the same)  Pet. 
I thank you Francis.  
I thought by sea to run, But Thames, and Tempest did me stay.  Touch. 
This cannot be feigned sure. Heaven pardon my security. The Ragged Colt, may prove a good Horse.  Gould. 
How he listens! and is transported? He has forgot me.  Quic. 
Still Eastward hoe was all my word:  
But Westward I had no regard.  
Nor never thought, what would coin after  
As did alas his youngest Daughter,  
At last the black Ox trod o'my foot,  
And I saw then what longed unto't,  
Now try I, Touchstone, touch me still,  
And make me currant by thy skill.  Touch. 
And I will do it, Francis.  Wolfe. 
Stay him M. Deputy, now is the time, we shall lose the song else.  Frie. 
I protest it is the best that ever I heard.  Quick. 
How like you it Gentlemen?  All. 
O admirable, sir!  Quic. 
This Stanze now following, alludes to the story of Mannington from whence I took my project for my invention.  Frin. 
Pray you go on sir.  Quic. 
O Manington thy stories show,  
Thou cutst a Horsehead off at a blow  
But I confess, I have not the force  
For to cut off the head of a horse,  
Yet I desire this grace to win,  
That I may cut off the Horsehead of Sin.  
And leave his body in the dust  
Of sins high way and bogs of Lust,  
Whereby I may take virtues purse,  
And live with her for better, for worse.  Frin. 
Admirable sir, & excellently conceited.  Quic. 
Alas sir.  Touch. 
Son Goulding & M. Wolf, I thank you: the deceit is welcome, especially from thee whose charitable soul in this hath shown a high point of wisdom and honesty. Listen. I am ravished with his Repentance, and could stand here a whole prenticeship to hear him,  Frien. 
Forth good sir.  Quick. 
This is the last, and the Farewell.  

Farewell Cheapside, farewell sweet trade  
Of goldsmiths all, that never shall fade  
Farewell dear fellow Prentices all  
And be you warned by my sall:  
Shun Usurers, Bawds, and dice, and drabs.  
Avoid them as you would French scabs  
Seek not to go beyond your Tether,  
But cut your Thongs unto your Leather  
So shall you thrive by little and little,  
Scape Tyburn, Counters, & the Spittle   Touch. 
And scape them shalt thou my penitent, & dear Frances.  Quick. 
Master!  Pet. 
Father!  Touch. 
I can no longer forbear to do your humility right: Arise, and let me honour your Repentance, with the hearty and joyful embraces, of a Father, and Friends love. Quicksilver, thou hast eat into my breast, Quicksilver, with the drops of thy sorrow, and killed the desperate opinion I had of thy reclaim:  Quick. 
O sir, I am not worthy to see your worshipful face.  Pet. 
Forgive me Father.  Touch. 
Speak no more, all former passages, are forgotten, and here my word shall release you. Thank this worthy Brother & kind friend, Francis.— M. Wolf. I am their Bail;  A shout in the Prison. Secu. 
Master Touchstone? Master Touchstone?  Touch. 
Who's that?  Wolfe. 
Security, Sir.  Secu. 
Pray you Sir, if you'll be won with a Song, hear my lamentable tune, too:  

SONG.  
O Master Touchstone,  
My heart is full of woe;  
Alas, I am a Cuckold:  
And, why should it be so?  
Because I was a Usurer,  
And Bawd, as all you know,  
For which, again I tell you,  
My heart is full of wot.   Touch. 
Bring him forth, Master Wolf, and release his bands. This day shallbe sacred to Mercy, & the mirth of this Encounter, in the Counter.— See, we are encountered with more Suitors.  Enter Mist. Touchst. Gyr. Mil. Synd. Winnif. etc. 
Save your Breath, save your Breath; All things have succeeded to your wishes: & we are heartily satisfied in their events.  Gyr. 
Ah Runaway, Runaway! have I caught you? And, how has my poor Knight done all this while?  Pet. 
Dear Lady-wife; forgive me.  Gert. 
As heartily, as I would be forgiven, Knight. Dear Father, give me your blessing, and forgive me too; I ha' been proud, and lascivious, Father; and a Fool, Father; and being raised to the state of a wanton coy thing, called a Lady, Father; have scorned you, Father; and my Sister; & my sister's Velvet Cap, too; and would make a mouth at the City, as I rid through it; and stop mine ears at Bow-bell: I have said your Beard was a Base one, Father; and that you looked like Twierpipe, the Taberer; and that my Mother was but my Midwife.  Mi. Tou. 
Now God forgive you, Child madam.  Touch. 
No more Repetitions. What is else wanting, to make our Harmony full?  Gould 
Only this, sir. That my fellow Francis make amends to mistress sindefy, with marriage.  Quic. 
With all my heart.  Gould. 
And Security give her a dower, which shall be all the restitution he shall make of that huge mass, he hath so unlawfully gotten.  Touch 
Excellently devised! a good motion. What says Master Security?  Secu 
I say any thing sir, what you'll ha' me say. Would I were no Cuckold.  Wini 
Cuckold, husband? why, I think this wearing of Yellow has infected you.  Touch 
Why, Master Security, that should rather be a comfort to you, than a corrosive. If you be a Cuckold, it's an argument you have a beautiful woman to your wife; than you shall be much made of; you shall have store of friends; never want money; you shall be eased of much o'your wedlock pain; others will take it for you: Besides, you being a Usurer, (and likely to go to Hell) The Devils will never torment you: They'll take you, for one o their own Race. Again, if you be a Cuckold, and know it not, you are an Innocent; if you know it, and endure it, a true Martyr.  Secur 
I am resolved sir. Come hither Winny.  Touch 
Well then, all are pleased; or shall be anon, Master Wolf: you look hungry, me thinks. Have you no apparel to lend Francis to shift him?  Quicksands 
No sir, not I desire none; but here make it my suit, that I may go home, through the streets, in these, as a Spectacle, or rather an Example, to the Children of Cheapside.  Touch 
Thou hast thy wish. Now London, look about,  
And in this moral, see thy Glass run out:  
Behold the careful Father; thrifty Son,  
The solemn deeds, which each of us have done,  
The Usurer punished, and from Fall so steep  
The Prodigal child reclaimed, and the lost Sheep.  Exeunt. 

EPILOGVS.  
STay Sir, I perceive the multitude are gathered together, to view our coming out at the Counter. See, if the streets and the Fronts of the Houses, be not stuck with People, and the Windows filled with Ladies, as on the solemn day of the Pageant!  

O may you find in this our Pageant, here,  
The same contentment, which you came to seek;  
And as that Show but draws you once a year,  
May this attract you, hither, once a week.   
FINIS.