KINDHARTS DREAM.  
Containing five Apparitions, with their invectives against abuses reigning. Delivered by several Ghosts unto him to be published, after Piers Penilesse Post had refused the carriage.  
Inuita Inuidiae. by H. C.  
Imprinted at London for William Wright.   

To the Gentlemen Readers.  
IT hath been a custom Gentle men (in my mind commendable) among former Authors (whose works are no less beautified with eloquent phrase, than garnished with excellent example) to begin an exordium to the Readers of their time, much more convenient I take it, should the writers in these da●es (wherein that gravity of inditing by the elder exercised, is not observed, nor that modest decorum kept, which they continued) submit their labours to the favourable censures of their learned overseers. For seeing nothing can be said, that hath not been before said, the singularity of some men's conceits, (otherways excellent well deserving) are no more to be soothed, than the peremptory posies of two very sufficient Translators commended. To come in print is not to seek praise, but to crave pardon: I am urged to the one; and bold to beg the other, he that offende● being forced, is more excusable than the wilful faulty, though both be guilty, there is difference in the guilt. To observe custom, and avoid as I may cavil, opposing your favours against my fear, I'll show reason for my present writing, and after proceed to sue for pardon. About three months since died M. Robert green, leaving many papers in sundry Book sellers hands, among other his Groatsworth of wit, in which a letter written to divers play-makers, is offensively by one or two of them taken, and because on the dead they cannot be avenged, they wilfully forge in their conceits a living Author: and after tossing it two and fro, no remedy, but it must light on me. How I have all the time of my conversing in printing hindered the bitter inveighing against scholars, it hath been very well known, and how in that I dealt I can sufficiently prove. With neither of them that take offence was I acquainted, and with one of them I care not if I never be: The other, whom at that time I did not so much spare, as since I wish I had, for that as I have moderated the heat of living writers, and might have used my own discretion (especially in such a case) the Author being dead, that I did not, I am as sorry, as if the original fault had been my fault, because myself have seen his demeanour no less civil than he excellent in the quality he professes: Besides, divers of worship have reported, his uprightness of dealing, which argues his honesty, and his facetious grace in writing, that aprooves his Art. For the first, whose learning I reverence, and at the perusing of Green's Book, struck out what then in conscience I thought he in some displeasure writ: or had it been true, yet to publish it, was intolerable: him I would wish to use me no worse than I deserve. I had only in the copy this share, it was il written, as sometime Green's hand was none of the best, licensd it must be, ere it could be printed which could never be if it might not be read. To be brief I writ it over, and as near as I could, followed the copy, only in that letter I put something out, but in the whole book not a word in, for I protest it was all Green's, not mine nor Master Nashes, as some unjustly have affirmed. Neither was he the writer of an Epistle to the second part of Gerileon, though by the workman's error T. N. were set to the end: that I confess to be mine, and repent it not.  
Thus Gentlemen, having noted the private causes, that made me nominate myself in print; being aswell to purge Master Nashe of that he did not, as to justify what I did, and withal to confirm what M. green did: I beseech ye accept the public cause, which is both the desire of your delight, and common benefit: for though the toy be shadowed under the Title of Kind-hearts Dream, it discovers the false hearts of divers that wake to commit mischief. Had not the former reasons been, it had come forth without a father: and then should I have had no cause to fear offending, or reason to sue for favour. Now am I in doubt of the one, though I hope of the other; which if I obtain, you shall-bind me hereafter to be silent, till I can present ye 〈◊〉 some thing more acceptable.  Henry Chettle.  

Kind-hartes Dedication of his dream, to all the pleasant conceited wheresoever.  
GEntlemen and goodfellows, (whose kindness having christened me with the name of Kindheart, binds me in all kind course I can to deserve the continuance of your love) let it not seem strange (I beseech ye) that he that all days of his life hath been famous for drawing teeth, should now in drooping age hazard contemptible infamy by drawing himself into print. For such is the folly of this age, so witless, so audacious, that there are scarce to many peddlers brag themselves to be printers because they have a bundle of ballads in their pack, as there be idiots that think themselves Artists, because they can English an obligation, or write a true staff to the tune of fortune. This folly raging universally, hath enfired me, to write the remembrance of sundry of my deceased friends, personages not altogether obscure, for than were my subject base, nor yet of any honourable carriage, for my style is rude and bad: and to such as jit belongs not to jest with Gods. Kind-hart would have his companions esteem of Estates as stars, on whom mean men may look, but not overlook. I have heard of an eloquent Orator, that trimly furnished with wars habiliments, had on his shield this Motto Bona fortuna: yet at the first meeting of the enemy fled with out fight. For which being reproved, he replied. If I have saved myself in this battle by flight, I shall live to chase the enemy in the next. So Gentlemen fares it with me, If envious misconsterers arm themselves against my simple meaning, and wrest every jest to a wrong sense. I think it policy to fly at the first fight, till I gather fresh forces to repress their folly. Neither can they what ●uer they be, deal hardly with Kind-hart, for ●e only delivers his dream; with every Apparition simply as it was uttered. It's fond for them to fight against ghosts: its fearful for me to hide an Apparition: by concealing it I might do myself harm and them no good; by revealing it, ease my heart, and do no honest men hurt: for the rest (although I would not willingy move the meanest) they must bear as I do, or mend it as they may. Well lest ye deem all my dream but an Epistle. I will proceed to that without any further circumstance.   

The Dream.  
SItting alone not long since, not far from Finsbury, in a Taphouse of Antiquity, attending the coming of such companions as might wash care away with carousing: Sleep the attendant upon a distempered bodies, bereft the suns light by covering mine eyes with her sable mantle, and left me in night's shade, though the days eye shined; so powerful was my received potion, so heavy my passion: whence (by my hostess care) being removed to a pleasant parlour, the windows opening to the East, I was laid softly on a down bed, and covered with equal furniture, where how long I slept quietly, I am not well assured, but in the time I intended to rest, I was thus by visible apparitions disturbed.  
First after a harsh and confused sound, it seemed there enrered at once ●iue personages, severally attired, and diversly qualified, three bearing instruments, their favours pleasant; two appearing to be Artists, their countenances reverend.  
The first of the first three was an odd old fellow, low of stature, his head was covered with around cap, his body with a fide skirted tawny coat, his legs and feet trust up in leather buskins, his grey hairs and furrowed face witnessed his age, his triple viol in his hand, assured me of his profession. On which (by his continual sawing having left but one string) after his best manner, he gave me a huntsup: whom after a little musing, I assuredly remembered to be no other but old Anthony Now now.  
The next, by his suit of russet, his buttoned cap, his taber, his standing on the toe, and other tricks, I knew to be either the body or resemblance of Tarlton, who living for his pleasant conceits was of all men liked, and dying, for mirth left not his like.  
The third (as the first) was an old fellow, his beard milkewhite, his head covered with a round low crowned rent silk hat, on which was a band knit in many knotes, wherein stuck two round sticks after the jugglers manner. His jerkin was of leather cut, his cloak of three colors, his hole pain with yellow drawn out with blue, his instrument was a bagpipe, & him I knew to be William Cuckoo, better known than loved, and yet some think as well loved as he was worthy.  
The other two had in their countenances a reverent grace, the one which was the elder, seeming more severe, was in habit like a Doctor, in his right hand he held a Compendium of all the famous Physicians and Surgeons works beelonging to theoric, in his left hand a table of all instruments for man's health, appertaining to practise.  
At the sight of this Doctor, you may think Gentlemen, Kind-hart was in a piteous case: for I verily believed he had been some rare Artist, that taking me for a dead man had come to anatomize me, but taking comfort that my thrummed hat, had hanging at it the ensigns of my occupation, like a tall fellow (as to me it seemed) I looked him in the face and beheld him to be master Doctor Burcot (though a stranger, yet in England for physic famous.  
With him was the fifth, a man of indifferent years, of face amible, of body well proportioned, his attire after the habit of a scholarlike Gentleman, only his hair was somewhat long, whom I supposed to be Robert green, master of Arts: of whom (how ever some suppose themselves injured) I have learned to speak, considering he is dead, nill nisi necessarium.  
He was of singular pleasance the very supporter, and to no man's disgrace be this intended, the only Comedian of a vulgar writer in this country.  
Well thus these five appeared, and by them in post past a knight of the post, whom in times past I have seen as highly promoted as the pillory: but I have heard since he was a devil, that played the Cariar of Pierce penniless packet to Lucifer, and was now returning to contaminate the air, with his pestilent perjuries, and abominable false witness bearing.  
How Pierce his supplication pleased his Patron I know not, but sure I take it this Friend had a foul check for meddling in the matter: for when all these five before named had made proffer of several bills invective against abuses reigning, this devilish Messenger repulsed them wrathfully, and bade them get some other to be their packet bearer if they list, for he had almost hazarded his credit in hell, by being a Broker between Pierce Penilesse and his Lord: and so without hearing their reply, flew from them like a whirl wind. With that, (after a small pause) in a round ring they compassed my bed, and thrusting into my hand all their papers, they at once charged me to awake, and publish them to the world.  
This charge seemed to me most dreadful of all the dream, because in that the distinguishing of their several voices was heard, far from the frequent manner of men's speech. In fine, Cuckoo with his pipes, and Antony with his Crowd, keeping equal epuipage first left my sight; Tarlton with his Taber fetchig two or three leaden frisks, shortly followed, and the Doctor and master green immediately vanished.   

With this (not a little amazed as one from a trance revived) I rouzd up myself: when suddenly out of my hand fell the five papers, which confirmed my dream to be no fantisie. Yet (for that I knew the times are dangerous) I thought good advisedly to read them, before I presumed to make them public. So by chance lighting first on Antony nownowe I found on the outside, as follows on the other side.  
The friendly Admonition of Anthony Now now, to Mopo and Pickering, Arch-overseers of the Ballad singers, in London, or elsewhere.  
ANthony now now a God's blessing to his loving and living brethren Mopo and Pickering greeting, whereas by the daily recourse of infinite numbers to the infernal regions, whose plaints to be heard ar● no less lamentable, than their pains to be felt infollerable, I am given to understand, that there be a company of idle youths, loathing honest labour and despising lawful trades, betake them to a vagrant and vicious life, in every corner of Cities & market Towns of the Realm singing and selling of ballads and pamphletes full of ribaldry, and all scurrilous vanity, to the profanation of God's name, and withdrawing people from christian exercises, especially at fairs markets and such public meetings, I humbly desire ye that ye join with another of your brethren free of one City and profession, that always delighting in godly songs, is now in his age betaken to his beads, and liveth by the doleful tolling of Death's bell warning. Dear friends, I beseech you jointly to agree to the suppressing of the a forenamed 〈◊〉 vagabonds. And that I right incite (as I hope) your forward effects, I will particularise the difference between the abused times among you reputed, and the simplicity of the days, wherein I lived. Withal I wish ye to expect no greater matter than Anthony's capacity can comprehend. When I was liked, there was no thought of that idle upstart generation of ballad-singers, neither was there a printer so lewd that would set singer to a lascivious line. But I perceive the times are changed, and men are changed in the times. For not long since a number of children were bolstered by some unworthy Citizens and other free men in Towns Corporate to exercise a base libertine life in singing any thing that came to hand from some of the devils instruments, intruders into printings mystery, by whom that excellent Art is not smally slandered, the government of the estate not a little blemished, nor Religion in the least measure hindered. And to shut up all in the last, is it not lamentable that after so many callings, so many blessings, so many warnings, through the covetous desire of game of some two or three, such a flock of Run-agates should overspread the face of this land, as at this time it doth. They that intent to infect a river poison the fountain, the Basilisk woundeth a man by the eye, whose light first failing the body of force descends to darkness.  
These Basilisks, these bad minded monsters, brought forth like vipers by their mother's bane, with such lascivious le wdnes have first infected London the eye of England, the head of other Cities, as what is so lewd that hath not there contrary to order been printed, and in every street abusively chanted. This error (over spreading the realm) hath in no small measure increased in Essex and the shires thereto adjoining, by the blushless faces of certain Babies sons to one Barns most frequenting Bishops Stafford. The old fellow their father soothing his sons folly, resting his crabbed limbs on a crabtree staff, was wont and I think yet he uses to sever himself from the Booth, or rather Brothel of his two sons Ballad shambles: where the one in a sweaking triple, the other in an ale-blowen base carrowle out such adulterous ribaudry, as chaste ears abhor to hear, and modesty hath no tongue to utter.  
While they are in the ruff of ribaldry, (as I was about to say) the old ale-knight their dad breaks out into admiration, and sends straggling customers to admire the roaring of his sons: where that I may show some abuses, and yet for shame let slip the most odious, they hear no better matter, but the lascivious under songs of Watkins ale, the Carman's whistle, Chopingknives, and friar foxtaile, and that with such odious and detested boldness, as if there be any one line in those lewd songs than other more abominable, that with a double repetition is loudly belowed, as for example of the friar and the nun.  

He whipped her with a fox's tail, Barnes minor,  
And he whipped her with a fox's tail, Barnes maior.   
O brave boys saith Barnes maximus. The father leaps, the lubers roar, the people run, the Devil laughs, God lours, and good men weep. Nay, no sooner have the godly preachers delivered wholesome doctrine, but these imps of iniquity, and such as imitate their order, draw whole heaps to hearken to their inquinated cries, as if they were herds of the Gergishites swine ready to receive whole legions of soule-drowning spirits.  
Stephen, Mopo and Pickering I muse you make no complaint to those worshipful that have authority to restrain such stragglers for this is to be proved, of whom soever they buy them, that these two Barns utter more licentious songs, than all that part of England beside.  
〈◊〉 it is (had they any shame) that men brought up to an honest handicraft, of which the realm more need than jigging vanities, should betake the● to so impudent a course of lif●. The Rogue that liveth idly is restrained, the fi●ler and player that is maisterlss● is i● the same predicament, both these by the law are burned in the ear, and shall men more odious scape unpunished.  
It were to be wished, if they will not be warned, that aswell the singers, as their supporters, were burned in the tongue that they might rather be ever utterly mute, than the triumphers of so many mischiefs. Neither are these two alone in fault, though they stand worthily foremost as Malorum Deuces, but besides them, others more then a good many, some as I have heard say taken to be apprentices by a worthless companion (if it prove true that is of him reported) being of a worshipful trade, and yet no Stationer, who after a little bringing them up to singing brokery, takes into his shop some fresh men, and trusts his old searuantes of a two months standing with a dozen groats worth of ballads. In which if they prove thrifty, he makes them pretty chapmen, able to spread more pamphlets by the state forbidden then all the Bookesellers in London, for only in this City is strait search, abroad small suspicion,, especially of such petty peddlers. Neither is he for these flies only in fault, but the Governors of cutpurse hall, finding that their company wonderfully increased, however many of their best workmen monthly ●scande at the three foot cross, they took counsel how they might find some new exercise to employ their number.  
One of the ancientest that had been a traveler, and at Brainetree fair, seen the resort to the standing of the forenamed brethren, the sons of ol●e Barnes the Plu●er, chose out roaring Dick, W●t Wimbars, cum multis aliis of tune-able trebles, that gathered sundry assemblies in divers places, where y●r a lewd song was fully ended, some mist their knives, some their purses, some one thing, so●me an other. And alas, who would suspect my innocent youths, that all the while were pleasing rude people's eyes and ears, with no les delectable noise, than their ditties were delightsome: the one being too od●ous to be read, the other too infectious to be heard. Well how ever they sung, it is like they shared: for it hath been said, they themselves brag, they gained their twenty shillings in a day. Ah brother Mopo, many a hard meal have you made, and as many a time, hath Curtoll your four-footed traveller, been pinched for want of provender, and yet at the weeks end have you hardly taken ten shillings. But I persuade myself you gain by your honest labour, and they by leger demain. To tell you your own injuries, by them every where offered, need not: to wish you to speak to th●m it boots 〈◊〉. Therefore this is my counsel, and let it be your course: Make humble suit to her majesties Officers, that they may be henceforth prohibited: entreat the Preachers that they inveigh against this vice, which though it seem small to other abuses, yet as a grain of mustard seed it increases, and bringeth forth more mischiefs, than few words can express, or much diligence make void. First, if there be any songs suffered in such public sort to be song, beseech that they may ●ither be such as yourselves, that a●ter seven years or more service, have no other living left you out of Patent, but that poor base life, of itself too bad, yet made more beggarly, by increase of number: or at least if a●y if beside you be thereto admitted, than it may be none other but aged and impotent persons: who living upon charity, may the rather draw those that delight in good songs, to have mercy on their need. For to sing publicly, is by a kind of toleration, permitted only to beggars, of which number, it is not necessary to make them, that have seen no number of years, nor are in the members of their bodies imperfect. Is it not absurd to see a long legged lubber pinne● in a chair, fed with a dug, dressed with a bibbe, and rocked in a cradle? As vile it is, that boys of able strength, and agreeable capacity, should be suffered to wrest from the miserable Aged, the last refuge in their life (beggary excepted) the poor help of Ballad-singing. Many a crust hath old Anthony, got by it Mopo, beside other comforts: but now I hear my blind brother that exercised the base, is forced to lay his fiddle to pawn and trust only to the two and thirtieth Psalm, and job patience for his poor belly-pinchinge pittance. Once again I turn me in your names to the Magistrates, and Preachers of London, and as to them so to others elsewhere in the Realm. Right honourable, reverend, or worshipful, Anthony humbly desires you, to look into the lewd cause, that these wicked effects may fall. The people delight to hear some new thing: if these profane ribauldries were not: somewhat savouring of godliness, of policy, or at the utmost of moral wit, should be received. It is common, that they which have capacity, when they hear either divinity, Law, or other Arts, apply their memories to receive them, and as they have conceived, they bring forth fruits: so fares it by the contrary, when they hear lascivious surquedry, lewdness, impiety, they yield no other harvest, than they received seed: for who can gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles. It would be thought the Carman that was wont to whistle to his beasts a comfortable note, might aswell continue his old course, whereby his sound served for a musical harmony in God's ear: as now profanely to follow a jigging vanity, which can be no better than odious before God: s●th it is abominable in the ears of good men. But all is one, they are suffered, which makes them secure, and there is no impiety, but the base flatter themselves in, because they are not more strictly reprehended by their betters. If every idle word shall be answered for, how shall they escape that suffer whole days to be consumed in abominable brothelry. Well, at the hands of the shepherd shall the flock be challenged, there is a mercy that kisseth justice, every other toleration is sinful and shameful. Hear Anthony now now ceases: knowing the superiors have discretion upon true information, to deal as beseems them. I only urge my brother Mopo, S. P. and pickering, to beseech that lascivious singers may be utterly suppressed, as they will show themselves to be the men they should be, wherein if they fail, let them live ever in perpetual poverty, and far at all times as hard as poor Mopos Cut did with his masters countryman in Shorditc●, till by the force of his hinder heels, he utterly undid two milk maidens, that had set up a shop of Ale-drapery. Subscribed  
Anthony now now a God's blessing,  
When I had read this rabble, wherein I found little reason, I laid it by, intending at more time to seek out Mopo, and his mentioned companions. The next paper I chanced on, was that of Master Doctor Burcot:  
The superscription thus.  
To the impudent discreditors of Physics Art, either speedy amendment or punishment.  
Injurious enemies to Arts, that have sought to make Physic, among common people, estéemed common: and Chirurgery contemptible, to you is this my Brief addressed, for since I left the earth, comm●nded by him, that disposes of every creature, I understand some green-headed scoffers at my green receipt: have intermeddled in matters more than they conceive, and by that folly effected much less than they promised. It was held of old, for a principle, and not long since observed as a custom, that as the nights Bats, forerunners of darkness, never slickered in the streets, till the Sun was declined: and then every where blindly flapped in men's faces: so the Owls of Arts, blinde-flinder-mises (as I may term them) confirmning the old Oracle: never show themselves but in corners, giving their rules for that they understand not, to the loss of life, or man● dismembringe. Every simple hath his virtue, every disease his beginning: but the remedy riseth from the knowledge of the cause: If any can (in natural sense) give ease, they must be Artistes, that are able to search the cause, resist the disease, by providing remedies. How fares it then, blind abusers of the blind, your blushless faces are so seasoned, that you can in print or public writings, open the skirts of your shame, by promising sight to the blind, sound joints to the gouty, steady members to the Paraletike, strong limbs to the lame, quick hearing to the deaf, sense to the frantic. To begin with I. O. one of your sight healers, was it not well handled by him, when a gentleman of good account having only a heat in one of his eyes, he like a kind christian persuaded the patiented to receive a water preservative to the sound eye that it might draw the humour from the first, when in very truth by his cunning he so dealt, that not an eye was left in his head whereby he might well see, saving that by the eye that was first sore he can with much ado look through a crystal. Thus this cogging sight giver drank a hundred mark and utterly impaired the payers sight.  
O obscure knave, worthy to be so well known, that thine eyes being thrust out of thy head in a public assembly, thou mighsttest no more attempt to make blind thy betters. There was a Gentleman in the world, troubled not long since with a pain in the foot, Physicians found it to be the gout, against which malady promising no precise remedy, but only to give ease for the time, did their daily endeavour, by defensives preventing pain that would have proved offensive. He impatient of delay, forsook all hopes of art, and delivered over his life into the hands of some of these travelers that by incision are able to ease all atches. If a sensible man (conceiving their tyranny on him used) should note their cuttings, drawings, corrosiving, boxings, butcherings, they would conclude, Non erat inter Siculos tormentum maius. Yet forsooth, who but these are welcome to diseased or endangered people. The reason, they will undertake to warrant what no wise man can, & if it happen by strong conceit some have comfort, then to the world's wonder in old wives monuments are they remembered. Short tale to make, after many tortures, God gave the gentleman ease by death.  
For the dead Palsy there is a woman hath a desperate drink, that either helps in a year, or kills in an hour. Beside she hath a charm that mumbled thrice over the ear, together with oil of Suamone (as she terms it) will make them that can hear but a little, hear in short time never a wh●t. But above all her Medicine for the quartine Ague, is admirable. viz. A pint of exceeding strong march beer, wherein is infused one drop of Aqua mirabilis, this taken at a draft before the fit is ●ntollerable good, and for a precedent, let this serve.  
A Gentlewoman about London whose husband is heir of a right worshipful house, was induced to take this drench, from this wise woman, for every drop of that strong water she must have twelve pence. A 〈◊〉 at the least was prized at forty shillings. Thus daily for almost a month she ministered, the Gentlewoman having still good hope, at last was put by her husband quite out of comfort for any good at this woman's hands, for he by chance getting the deceivers glass, would needs pour out a spunefull what ever he paid, she cried out she could not spare it, all helped not, he took it and tasted, and sound it to be no other than fountain water.  
There was one Bondman or freeman (it skiles not much whether) that by wondrous ready means would heal madmen, what expectation was of him, by his great promises all London knows, how lewdly he dealt, it can as well witness, of him I will say little, because there is more knowue, than I am able to set down.  
Besides these 〈◊〉- agates, there are some of good experience, that giving themselves to inordinate excess, when they are writ unto by learned physicians to minister for the patient's health according to their advised prescription, negligently mistake. As for example, a Doctor directs to his Apothecary a bill to minister to a man having an ulcerous sore, certain pills for the preparing of his body, withal a receipt for the making a corrosive, to apply to the sore, he (either witless, which is too bad, or wilful, which is worse) prepares the corrosive in pills, and for●es the Receipt for the pills in manner of a plaster.  
The party receives the corrosive inward, his maw is fretted, death follows. If there be such an Apothecary that hath so done, let him repent his dealings, lest the blood of that man light on his head.  
It is said there was another skilful, no less overseen that having a poor man of a leg to dismember, who had long time been his patient, & at the instant, more extremely pained, then before, which was cause of requiring● his Chirurgeons immediate help. This workman, the poor patientes deathes-maister, in that point not to be termed his own 〈◊〉 master, dismembered him, the sign being in the foot. Whereof being told, immediately after the deed, he only merited this praise, by giving council to the murdered man to have patience at his sudden end.  
But these accidents among Artistes happen as seldom as the proof of a good cure among you that are vtte●y ignorant in Ar●e: for their faults, are committed by them rarely or never, your trespasses, like a quotidian disease. So of the one it may be said, Wine is a mocker, and strong drink is raging, and those that ●ee thereby deceived are not wise. Yet of the other may directly be concluded to their single commendation, that as no serpent is without his hidden sting, or any thing in earth without some blemish: ●o no purity of their impure proression, can be equalled in imperfection, so impure is all, so vile, so dangerous.  
Therefore now return I where I began, to you the excrements of nature, and monsters of men, whose murders are no less common than your crafts, which are not so well known to the world, as felt by them that leave it, with two of you will I 〈◊〉. The one a braggart of great antiquity, whose lively image is yet to be seen in King Luds Palace, and his living Ghost at this time ministering to the poor Pensioners of that place. Sirrah, nay it shall be sir in reverence of your old occupation, I muse not a little what wonderful 〈◊〉 preparative it is ye boast on: by which were men so mad to believe you, you are able to make any man not only boldly to walk in ill airs, and converse day and night with infected company, but also to receive the strongest poison (like king Mithridates) into his body? Ten to one, it is so strange, as no man but yourself is able to name it. Yet give me leave to guess at it without offence to your falsehood. I remember I have heard great talk, you have been both a caster of metal, and a forger, and it seems you have gotten the receit which the Tinne-melters wife ministered, to break her husbands cold, when he sat sleeping in his chair, videlicet two ounces of pure Tin put in an iron ladle, melted in the fi●e, and poured at an instant down the throat. If it be thus, I dare take your word fo● any poison hurting that party that so receives it, for as a simple fellow (seeing four or five hanged for their offences, and hearing 〈◊〉 speak bitterly of them being dead) said, Well, God make them good men, they have a fair warning: so I may say they that deal with your mettaline medicine have a fair warrant against poison: Likewise may it be said of your admirable eye water through the virtue of which, you have attained the worshipful name of Doctor put out: having put out some of their eyes that deal with it. But if I have varied from your met●aline receipt before, I conclude it but a forgery, and so blame you not greatly for following a parcel of your old and to some a hurtful trade.  
Another of your brethren, as well over seen in minerals as yourself, lying in a good fellows house not long since, being moneyless, as ye are all but thread bore make shifts, persuaded his host to take physic for fear of infection, his labour he was content to give, and nothing for their kindness would he require but even five mark, which he must pay for the very simples. His simple host believing him to be honest, gave him the money. If he had left here, though this had been to lewd, it had been far better than to go forwar● as he did, for some what he bestowed on purging simples which unprepared he ministered, and with the same ministered the poor man's death.  
The lewd wretch cried out that he had taken a great quantity of the purgation, more than he appointed, which was in a window in his chamber, much ado was made, and he would justify before any learned man his deed, but trusting better to his heels, than to hazard a han●, he gave them that night the slip, and is not yet 〈◊〉.  
To be short, how ever ye differ in several shifts, yet agree you all in one manner of shifting, cunning is the cloak to hide your cogging: money the mark for which ye play the makeshiftes, nay the murderers, not of the common enemy, but your own countrymen, than which what can be more barbarous? Common reason should persuade, that much reading and long practice in every Art makes men expert. Per Contrarium I conclude, you that have neither read nor practised, must needs ●e egregiously ignorant.  
Assure yourselves, if you refrain not, justice will stand up, and so restrain ye, as there shall be nothing more noted than your ignorant practices and impudent courses. In my life I was your adversary: in death I am your enemy. Beseeching the reverend College of learned Doctors and worshipful company of experienced chirurgeons to look more straightly to your false deceits, and close haunts, that there may be sooner heard talk of such a rare obscure assurance● to work what not wonders in Physic, or chirurgery, but he be rather looked into or ever he begin, than suffered to begin, whereby any poor patient should suffer loss in trial of their blind skill: so shall your cousinages be as open as your Acts be odious.  
Subscribed Burcot.  
This is somewhat like (thought I) if he had said any thing against cozening tooth drawers, that from place to place wander with banners full of horse teeth to the impairing of kindhart's occupation, but I perceive master Doctor was never a tooth drawer, if he had, I know he would have toutcht their 〈◊〉. Since he hath let ●hem pass, I greatly pass not: and yet in regard of the credit of my trade, I care no● to have a blow or two with them my ●elfe, before I look any further.  
Sundry of them that so wander, have not to do with the means Kindhart useth, but forsooth by charms they can at their pleasure fray away the pain, which Kind-hart counts little better than witch craft, if it could do good, and so to some of them have I affirmed it: But a proper slip-string, some time a potty sc●le-marster, now a pelting tooth charmer, having ●o reason to descend his obscure rules, quite put me to silence before a well learned audience, the one a cobbler, the other a carman, 〈◊〉 last a collier. These being poor men, had I for pity often eased of their pain, yet was the remedy I used somewhat painful, but not long since they are come acquainted with the charmer I told ye of, he in charitable consideration of their grief, promised to ease them only with writing and after burning a word or two. Travelling to a Gentlemans not far from London, I by the way chanced to be called to confer with him at the same very instant, where reproving his opinion, he put me down with such a galliemafrey of larine ends, that I was glad to make an end: Yet got I a copy of his charm, which I will set down that I may make it common.  

A Charm.  
Frst, he must know your name, than your age, which in a little paper he sets down, on the top are these words In verbis, et in herbis, et in lapididus sunt virtutes, underneath he writes in capital letters A AB ILLA, HURS GIBELLA, which he swears is pure Chalde, and the names of three spirits that enter into the blood and cause rheums, & so consequently the tootheach. This paper must be likewise three times blest, and at last with a little frankincense burned, which being thrice used, is of power to expel the spirits, purify the blood, and ease the pain, or else he lies, for he hath practised it long, but shall approve it never.  
Another sort, get hot wires, and with them they burn out the worm that so torments the grieved: these fellows are fit to visit cursed wives, and might by their practice do a number of honest men ease, if they would miss the tooth and worm the tongue.  
Others there are, that persuade the pained, to hold their mouths open over a basin of water by the fire side, and to cast into the fire a handful of henbane seed, the which naturally hath in every seed a little worm, the seeds breaking in the sire, use a kind of cracking, and out of them, it is hard among so many, if no worm fly into the water: which worms the deceivers affirm to have fallen from the teeth of the diseased. This rare secret is much used, and not smally liked. Sundry other could I set down practised by our banner-bearers, but all is foppery, for this I find to be the only remedy for the tooth pain, either to have patience, or to pull them out.   
Well, no more for me, lest I be thought to speak too largely for myself. I had thought to have had a fling at the rat-catchers, who with their banners displayed, bear no small sway, what I have to say to them they shall not yet hear, because I hope they will take warning by other men's harms. Only this I affirm that as some banner-bearers have in their occupations much craft, the rat-catchers is nothing else but craft.  
But stay Kind-hart, if thou make so long a 〈◊〉 between every act, thy jests will be as stolen as thy wit is weak. Therefore leaving those vagabonds to repent their villainies, I'll bid adieu to master Doctor, and see who is our next speaker.  
Robert Green to Pierce Penniless.  
PIerce, if thy Carrier had been as kind to me as I expected, I could have dispatched long since my letters to thee: but it is here as in the world, Donum à dando derivatur: where there is nothing to give, there is nothing to be got. But having now found means to send to thee, I will certi●e thee a little of my disquiet after death, of which I think thou either hast not heard or wilt not conceive.  
Having with humble penitence be sought pardon for my infinite sins, and paid the due to death, even in my grave was I scarce laid, when Envy (no fit companion for Art) spit out her poison, to disturb my rest. Aduersus mortuos bellum suscipere, inhumanum est. There is no glory gained by breaking a dead man's skull. Pascitur in vivis livor, post fata quiescit. Yet it appears contrary in some, that inveighing against my works, my poverty, my life, my death, my burial, have omitted nothing that may seem malicious. For my Books, of what kind soever, I refer their commendation or dispraise to those that have read them. Only for my last labours affirming, my intent was to reprove vice, and lay open such villainies, as had been very necessary to be made known, whereof my Black Book, if ever it see light, can sufficiently witness.  
But for my poverty, me thinks wisdom would have bridled that invective; for Cuivis potest accidere, quod cuiquam potest. The beginaing of my dispraisers is known, of their end they are not sure. For my life, it was to none of them at any time hurtful: for my death, it was repentant: my burial like a Christians.  

Alas that men so hastily should run,  
To write their own dispraise as they have done.   
For my revenge, it suffices, that every halfe-eyd humanitian may account it, Instar belluarum immanissimarum seuire in cadaver. For the injury offered thee, I know I need not bring oil to thy fire. And albeit I would dissuade thee from more invectives against 〈◊〉 thy adversaries (for peace is now all my plea) yet I know thou wilt return answer, that since thou receivedst the first wrong, thou wilt not endure the last.  
My quiet Ghost (unquietly disturbed) had once intended thus to have exclaimed.  
Pierce, more witless, than penniless; more idle, than thine adversaries ill employed; what foolish innocence hath made thee (infant like) resistless to bear, what ever injury Envy can impose?  
Apocal. thou commendedst immediate conceit, and gavest no great praise to excellent works of twelve years labour: now, in the blooming of thy hopes, thou sufferest slander to nip them ere they can bud: thereby approving thyself to be of all other most slack, being in thine own cause so remiss.  
Colour can there be none found to shadow thy fainting, but the longer thou deferst, the more grief thou bringst to thy friends, and givest the greater head to thy enemies.  
What canst thou tell, if (as myself) thou shalt be with death prevented: and then how can it be but thou diest disgraced, seeing thou hast made no reply to their twofold Edition of invectives:  
It may be thou thinkest they will deal well with thee in death, and so thy shame in tolerating them will be short: forge not to thyself one such conceit, but make me thy precedent, and remember this old adage: Leonem mortuum mordent Catuli.  
Awake (secure boy) revenge thy wrongs, remember mine: thy adversaries began the abuse, they continue it: if thou suffer it, let thy life be short in silence and obscurity, and thy death hasty, hated, and miserable.  
All this had I intended to write, but now I will not give way to wrath, but return it unto the earth from whence I took it: for with happy souls it hath no harbour.  Robert Greene.. 
Had not my name been Kind-hart, I would have sworn this had been sent to myself; for in my life I was not more penniless than at that instant. But remembering the Author of the Supplication, I laid it aside till I had leisure to seek him: and taking up the next, I found written.  
To all maligners of honest mirth, Tarleton wisheth continual melancholy.  
NOw Masters, what say you to a merry knave, that for this two years' day hath not been talked of: Will you give him leave if he can to make ye laugh: What all a mort: No merry countenance: Nay, than I see hypocrisy hath the upper hand, and her spirit reigns in this profitable generation. Sith it is thus, I'll be a time-pleaser. Fie upon following plays, the expense is wondrous; upon players speeches, their words are full of wiles; upon their gestures, that are altogether wanton. Is it not lamentable, that a man should spend his two pence on them in an afternoon, hear covetousness amongst them daily quipt at, being one of the commonest occupations in the country; and in lively gesture see treachery set out, with which every man now adays useth to entrap his brother. By'r lady, this would be looked into: if these be the fruits of playing, 'tis time the practisers were expelled.  
Expelled (quoth you) that hath been prettily performed, to the no small profit of the Bouling-allyes in Bedlam and other places, that were wont in the afternoon's to be left empty, by the recourse of good fellows unto that unprofitable recreation of Stage-playing.  
And it were 〈◊〉 much amiss, would they join with the Dicing houses to make suit again for their longer restraint, though the sickness cease. Is not this well said (my masters) of an old buttoned cap, that hath most part of his life lived upon that against which he inveighs: Yes, and worthily.  
But I have more to say than this; Is it not great shame, that the houses of retailers near the towns end, should be by their continuance impoverished: Alas good hearts, they pay great rents, and pity it is but they be provided for. While Plays are used, half the day is by most youths that have liberty spent upon them, or at least the greatest company drawn to the places where they frequent. If they were suppressed, the flock of young people would be equally parted. But now the greatest trade is brought into one street. Is it not as fair a way to Myle-end by Whitechapel, as by Shoreditch to Hackney? the Sun shineth as clearly in the one place, as in the other; the shades are of a like pleasure: only this is the fault, that by overmuch heat sometime they are in both places infectious.  
As well in this as other things there is great abuse: for in every house where the venerean virgins are resident, hospitality is quite exiled, such fines, such taxes, such tribute, such customs, as (poor souls) after seven years service in that unhallowed order, they are feign to leave their suits for offerings to the old Lenos that are shrine-keepers, and themselves (when they begin to break) are feign to seek harbour in an Hospital: which chanceth not (as sometime is thought) to one amongst twenty, but hardly one amongst a hundred have better ending. And therefore seeing they live so hardly, its pity Players should hinder their take a penny.  
I marry (says Baudeamus my quondam Host) well fair old Dick, that word was well placed: for thou know'st our rents are so unreasonable, that except we cut and shave, and paul, and prig, we must return Non est inventus at the quarter day.  
For is not this pitiful▪ I am a man now as other men be, and have li●'d in some shire of England, till all the Country was weary of me. I come up to London, and fall to be some Capster, Hostler, or Chamberlain in an Inn: Well, I get me a wife, with her a little money: when we are married, seek a house we must, no other occupation have I but to be an Ale-●raper, the Landlord will have forty pound fine, and twenty mark a year, I and mine must not lie in the street: he knows by honest courses I can never pay the Rent. What should I say: somewhat must be done, rent must be paid, duties discharged, or we undone. To be short, what must be shall be: indeed sometimes I have my Landlords countenance before a Justice, to cast a cloa●e ●uer illrule, or else he might seek such another tenant to pay his rent so truly.  
Quaintly concluded (Peter Pandarus) somewhat ye must be, and a bawd ye will be. I by my troth sir, why not I as well as my neighbours, since there's no remedy. And you sir, find fault with plays. Out upon them, they spoil our t●ade, as you yourself have proved. Beside, they open our crosse-biting, our coney-catching, our trains, our traps, our gins, our snares, our subtleties: for no sooner have we a trick of deceit, but they make it common, singing jigs, and making ●easts of us, that every boy can point out our houses as they pass by.  
Whither now Tarlton? this is extempore out of time tune, and temper. It may be well said to me:  Stulte, quid haec faris, etc. Rusticus ipse, ●uis malus es, tibi pe●simus ipsi. 
Thyself once a Player, and against Players: nay, turn out the right si●e of thy russet coat, and let the world know thy meaning. Why thus I mean, for 〈◊〉 I speak in soberness.  
Every thing hath in itself his virtue and his vice: from one self flower the Bee and Spider suck honey ●nd poison. In plays it fares as in books, vice cannot 〈◊〉 reproved, except it be discovered: neither is it in any play discovered, but there follows in the same an example of the punishment: now he that at a play will be delighted in the one, and not warned by the other, is like him that reads in a book the description of sin, and will not look over the leaf for the reward.  
Mirth in seasonable time taken, is not forbidden by the austerest Sapients.  
But indeed there is a time of mirth, and a time of mourning. Which time having been by the Magistrates wis●ly observed, as well for the suppressing of Plays, as other pleasures: so likewise a time may come, when honest recreation shall have his former liberty.  
And let Tarleton entreat the young pe●ple of the ●ittie, either to abstain altogether from plays, or at their coming thither to use themselves after a more quiet order.  
In a place so ci●ill as this City is esteemed, it is more than barbarously rude, to see the shameful disorder and routs that sometime, in such public meetings ar● used.  
The beginners are neither gentlemen, nor citizens, nor any of both their servants, but some lewd mates that long for innovation, & when they see advantage, that either Servingmen or Apprentices are most in number, they will be of either side, though indeed they are of no side, but men beside all honesty, willing to make boot of cloaks, hats, purses, or what ever they can lay hold on in a hurley burley. These are the common causers of discord in public places. If otherwise it happen (as it seldom doth) that any quarrel be between man and man, it is far from manhood to make so public a place their field to fight in: no men will do it, but cowards that would feign be parted, or have hope to have many partakers.  
Now to you that malign our moderate merriments, and think there is no felicity but in excessive possession of wealth: with you I would end in a song, yea an Extempore sung on this Theme, Nequid nimis necessariùm: but I am now hoarse, and troubled with my Taber and Pipe: beside, what pleasure brings music to the miserable. Therefore letting songs pass, I tell them in sadness, how ever Plays are not altogether to be commended: yet some of them do more hurt in a day, than all the Players (by exercising their profession) in an age. Faults there are in the professors as other men, this the greatest, that divers of them being public in every one's eye, and talked of in every vulgar man's mouth, see not how they are seen into, especially for their contempt, which makes them among most men most contemptible.  
Of them I will say no more, of the profession, so much hath Pierce Penniless (as I hear say) spoken, that for me there is not any thing to speak, So wishing the cheerful, pleasance endless; and the wilful sullen, sorrow till they surfeit, with a turn on the toe I take my leave.  Richard Tarleton. 
When I had done with this, one thing I misliked, that Tarleton stood no longer on that point of Landlords: For lamentable it is (in Kindharts opinion) to note their unreasonable exaction. I myself knew a Landlord, that beginning to enlarge a little Tenement, was according to statute prohibited: he made humble suit that the work might go forward; for good man, he meant not to make thereby any benefit, but even in charity he would turn it into an alms-house. This godly motion was liked, and he allowed to go forward with his building. The work ended, in all the Country there could not poor be found worthy, or at least able to enter into the same.  
To be short, it was turned into a Tavern, and with rent and fine in few months turned the Tenant out of doors. Yet it hath been said, the poor man did what he might, Cum vino & venere, to continue his state: but the Landlord had made such a Dent in his stock, that with all the wit in his head it would not be stopped. I beshrew the Card-makers, that clapped not a gown about the Knave of Hearts, & put him on a hat for a bonnet over his nightcap, than had not after Age taken care for the Image of this excellent alms-house builder, but in every Alehouse should have been reserved his monument, till Macke, Maw, Ruff, Noddy, and Trump, had been no more vs●e, than his charity is 〈◊〉.  
Pity it is such Wolves are not shaked out of sheep's clothing. Elder times detested such extremity: the Gospel's liberty (howsoever some Libertines abuse it) gives no such licence: by their avarice Religion is 〈◊〉, lewdness is bo●stered, the suburbs of the City are in many places no other but dark dens for adulterers, thieves, murderers, and every mischief worker: daily experience before the Magistrates confirms this for truth.  
I would the ●art of the City were whole, for both within and without, extreme cruelty causeth much beggary, Victa i●cet pietas, and with piety pity. Self love hath exiled charity: and as among beasts the Lyou hunteth the Wolf, the Wolf devoureth the Goat, and the Goat feedeth on mountain herbs: so a●ong men, the great oppress the meaner, they again the meanest: for whom hard fare, cold lodging, thin clothes, and ●ore labour is only allotted.  
To see how soon the world is changed: In my time I remember two men, the one a Divine, the other a Citizen: it was their use, at the time they should quarterly receive their duties (for the first was well beneficed, the later a great Landlord) when they came to any poor creature, whom sickness had hindered, or mischance impaired, or many children kept low: they would not only forgive what they should receive, but give bountifully for the relief of their present necessity.  
The old Proverb is verified, Seldom comes the better: and they are posseft; the poor of that comfort dispossessed.  
Some Landlords having turned an old Brue-house, Bakehouse, or Dye-house, into an Alley of tenements, will either themselves, or some at their appointment, keep tippling in the fore-house (as they call it) and their poor tenants must be injoinde to fetch bread, drink, wood, coal, and such other necessaries, in no other place: and there till the weeks end they may have anything of trust, provided they lay to pawn their holiday apparel: nay, my Landlady will not only do them that go●d turn, but if they want money, she will on monday le●d them likewise upon a pawn eleven pence, and in mere pity asks at the weeks end not a penny more than twelve pence.  
O charitable love, happy tenants of so kind a Landlady: I warrant ye this Usury is within the Statute, it is not above five hundred for the loan of a hundred by the year.  
Neither will they do this good to their tena●tes alone, but they will deal with their husbands, that for a little room with a smoky chimney (or perchance none, because smoke is noisome) they shall pay at the least but forty shillings yearly.  
Fie upon fines, that's the undoing of poor people: we'll take none (say these good creatures) marry for the key we must have consideration, that is, some Angel in hand: for verily the last tenant made us change the lock: neither think we deal hardly, for it stands in a good place, quite out of company, where handicraft men may have leisure to get their living, if they knew on what to set themselves a work.  
Now for all this kindness, the Landlord scarce asketh of the tenant thanks (though he deserve it well) for (as I said) his Wife is all the dealer: so plays the Parson (the person I should say, I would be loath to be mistaken) that I told ye before builded the Alnteshouse. The care of rents is committed to his Wife, he is no man of this world, but as one metamorphizd from a Saint to a Devil.  
How now Kindhart? shall we never have done with these Landlords? It seems well thou hast as little land as wit: for while thou livest they will not mend, and therefore it's as good to make an end, as waste wind. Well, all this was of good will to help Tarleton out with his tale. Now let me see what note Cuckoo sings, for 'tis his luck to be last.  
William Cuckoo to all close jugglers wisheth the discovery of their crafts, ●nd punishment for their knaveries.  
Room for a crafty knave, cries William Cuckoo. Knave, nay, it will near hand bear an action: Bones a me, my tricks are stolen, and all my old companions turned into Civil suits. I perceive the world is all honesty, if it be no other than it looks. Let me see, if I can see, believe me there's nothing but juggling in every corner; for every man hath learned the mystery of casting mists, & though they use not our old terms of hey-pass, repass, and come aloft: yet they can bypasse, compass, and bring under one another as cunningly and commonly, as ever poor Cuckoo could command his jack in a Box.  
Yet my masters, though you robbed me of my trade, to give recompense, after death I have borrowed a tongue a little to touch their tricks.  
And now sir, to you that was wont like a Subsister in a gown of rug rend on the left shoulder, to sit singing the Counter-tenor by the Cage in Southwark: me thinks ye should not look so coily on old Cuckoo. What man, it is not your sign of the Ape and the Urinal can●arry away our old acquaintance?  
I trust ye remember your juggling at Newington with a Crystal stone, your knaveries in the wood by Wansteed, the wondrous treasure you would discover in the isle of Wight, all your villainies about that piece of service, as perfecty known to some o● my friends yet living as their Pater noster, who curse the time you ever came in their Creed.  
But I perceive you far as the Fox, the more ●and, the better hap.  
I wonder what became of your familiar, I mean no Devil, man; but a man Devil: and yet I need not wonder, for since my descending to under earth, I heard say he was hanged for his knavery, as you in good time may be, Amen. Amend I should say, but I think ye me one it not: the matter is not great, for (thanks be to God) how ever you mend in manners, the world is well amended with your man and you.  
I pray ye was that he which was your instrument in Notingam-shire, to make your name so famous for finding things lost: It may be, you forgot that one fetch among many: and lest it should be out of your head, I'll help to beat it into your brains.  
YOur Mastership upon a horse whose hire is not paid for, with your Page at your stirrup, like a Castilian Cavalier, lighted penniless at a pretty Inn, where that day sat certain justices in Commission. Your high heart, careless of your present need, would needs for you● self share out one of the fairest chambers. Your Page must be purveyor for your diet, who in the kitchen found nothing for your liking. Beef was gross, veal flashy, mutton fulsome, rabbits, hens, & capons common. Wild foul for Will fool, or he will fast.  
Well, at your will ye shall be furnished. But now a juggling trick to pay the shot.  
My Imp your man, while mistress, men, and maids were busied about provision for the justices that sat, slips into a private parlour, wherein stood good store of plate, and conveying a massy salt under his Capouch, little less worth than twenty mark, got secretly to the backside, and cast it into a filthy pond: which done, he acquaints your knaveship with the deed.  
By than your diet was dressed, the salt was missed, the good Wife cried out, the maids were ready to run mad.  
Your man, (making the matter strange) enquired the cause: which when they told. O (quoth he) that my master would d●ale in the matter, I am sure he can do as much as any in the world.  
Well, to you they come pitifully complaining, when very wrathfully (your choler rising) you demand reason why they should think ye be able to deal in such cases. Your kind nature (bend always to lenity) yielded at the last to their importuning: only wished them to stay till the next day, for that you would not deal while the justices were in the house.  
They must do as your discretion appoints: next day calling the goodman and wife to your bedside, ye tell them the sal●e was stolen by one of their familiars, whom he had forced by Art to bring it back again to the house, and in such a pond to cast it, because he would not have the party known for fear of trouble.  
●s you direct them, they search and find: then comes your ●ame in rare admiration, the Host gives you four Angels for a reward, the Hostess two French crowns: the maids are double diligent to do you service, that they may learn their fortunes, the whole town talks of the cunning man, that indeed had only coney-catched ●is 〈◊〉.  
If that slip-string be still in your service, I advise you make much of him, for by that trick he proved himself a toward youth, necessary for such a master. This juggling passes Cuckoos play. Well, I advise you play least in sight in London, for I have set some to watch for your coming, that will iustiste all this and more of your shifting life.  
Return to your old craft and play the Pinner, although it be a poor life, it is an honest life: your fallacies will one day fail ye.  
There is another juggler, that being well skilled in the jews Trump, takes upon him to be a dealer in Music: especial good at mending justruments: he juggled away more instruments of late, than his body (being taken) will ever be able to make good.  
Tut, that's but a plain trick: How say ye by some Jugglers that can serve writs without any original, and make poor men dwelling far off, compound wit● them for they know not what? I tell you there be such, that by that trick can make a vacation time quicker to them than a Term: who troubling threescore or four score men without cause, get of some a crown, of others a noble, of divers a pound, beside the ordinary costs of the writ, to put off their appearance, when n● such thing was toward.  
Fie upon these jugglers, they make the laws of the Realm be ill spoken of, and are cause that plain people think all Lawyers like them: ●s appears by a poor old man by chance coming into one of the worshipful Inns of the Court, where sundry Ancients and Students both honourable and worshipful sat at supper: the poor man admiring their connely order and reverent demeanour, demanded of a slander by, what they were. Gentlemen (said he) of the Inns of Court. Lord bless 'em (quoth plain Coridon) been they of Queen's Court? No, said the other, but of the Inns of Court. What done they, quoth the Country man, wotten ye? The other answered, that they were all Lawyers, and Students of the Law. Now, well a ●eere cries plain Simplicity, we han but one Lawyer with us, and he spoils all the Parish: but here been now to mar the whole shire. His simpleness was by the hearers well taken, and the lawyers name enquired, who proved no other but one of these perifogging jugglers, that having scraped up a few common places, and by long Sollicitership got in to be an odd Attorney, was not long since disgraded of his place by pitching over the Bar, yet promoted to look out of a wooden window, cut after the Dove hole fashion, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 on his subtle pate, containing the juggling 〈◊〉 showed. So fortune it to his fellows, and let the●r misery come cito pede. Law is in itself good, the true Professors to be highly esteémd. But as in Divinity it sometime fares that Schismatics, Heretics, and such like, make Scripture a cloak for their detested errors, and by their practices seek to make the reverend Divines contemptible; so a sort of coney-catchers (as I may call them) that have gathered up the glean of the Law, only expert to begin controversies, and utterly ignorant of their end; persuade the simple that if they will follow their rules, thus and thus it shall chance to their speédy quieting, and that Attorneys, Counsellors and sergeant, are too costly to be dealt with simply, burr by their mediation, who are able to speak when Counsel fails, and give more ease in an hour, than the best Benchers in a year, when God wots, they do no more good than a Drone in a Hive. These jugglers are too cunning for Cuckoo, and in the end will prove too crafty for themselves: Other jugglers there be, that 〈◊〉 favour from Authority to seek some thing to themselves beneficial, and to the Commonwealth not prejudicial, under colour of orderly dealing have hooked into their hands the whole living to a number poor men belonging. These when they were complained on, immediately took an honest course, and promised large relief yearly to them they wrong: But every promise is either broken, or kept & so it fares with them: I protest if their juggling were set down, it would make a pretty volume: but I will let them pass, because there is hope they will remember themselves. To set down the juggling in Trades, the crafty tricks of buyers and sellers, the swearing of the one, the lying of the other, were but to tell the world that which they well know, and therefore I will likewise overslip that. There is an occupation of no long standing about London called Broking or brogging, whether ye will; in which there is pretty juggling, especially to blind Law, and bolster Usury: if any man be forced to bring them a pawn, they will take no interest, not past twelve pence a pound for the month; marry they must have a groat for a monthly bill: which is a bill of sale from month to month; so that no advantage can be taken for the Usury. I hear say its well multiplied since I died; but I beshrew them, for in my life many a time have I borrowed a shilling on my Pipes, and paid a groat for the bill, when I have fetched out my pawn in a day.  
This juggling exceeds Cuckoos get, and sundry times turned poor William to his shifts. Indeed I deny not, but in their kind some of them deal well, and will preserve a man's goods safe, if he keep any reasonable time: these are not so blamable, as they that make immediate sale. If ever I have opportunity to write into the world again, I will learn who abuse it most and who use it best, and set ye down their dwelling places.  
Now I will draw to an end, concluding with a Master juggler that he may be well known if he be got into any obscure corner of the Country. This Shifter forsooth carried no less countenance than a Gentleman's ability, with his two men in blue coats, that served for shares not wages. He being properly seated in a Shire of this Realm, and by the report of his men bruited for a cunning man, grew into credit by this practice.  
His house being in a village through which was no thorough Fare, his men, and sometime his mastership in their company at midnight would go into their neighbours several grounds being far distant from their dwelling houses, and oftentimes drive from thence Horses, Mares, Oxen, Kine, Calves, or Sheep, what ever came next to hand, a mile perthaunce or more out of the place wherein they were left.  
Home would they return and leave the cattle straying: In the morning, sometime the milkmaids miss their Kine, another day the Plough-hinds their Oxen, their Horses another time, somewhat of some worth once a week lightly. Whither can these poor people go but to the wiseman's worship? Perchance in a morning two or three come to complain and seek remedy, who welcomed by one of his men, are severally demanded of their losses. If one come for sheep, another for other cattle, they are all at first told, that his Mastership is a sleep, and till he himself call they dare not trouble him. But very kindly he takes them into the hall, and when his worship stirs promises them they shall speak with him at liberty. Now sir behind a curtain in the hall stands a shelf garnished with books, to which my mate goes under to take o●e down. And as he takes it down pulleth certain strings which are fastened to several small be●s in his masters chamber, and as the bells strike, he knows what cattle his neighbours come to seek, one bell being for Oxen, another for kine, another for swine, etc. A while after he stamps and makes a noise above, the servingman entreats the Suitors to go up, and he hearing them coming himself kindly opens them the door, and ere ever they speak, salutes them, protesting for their loss great sorrow, as if he knew their griefs by revelation, comforts them with hope of recovery, and such like words. They cry out, jesus bless your Mastership, what a gift have you to tell our minds and never hears us speak. I neighbours saith he, ye may thank God I trust I am come among ye to do ye all good. Then knowing which way they were driven, he bids them go either Eastward, or Southwarde to seek near such an Oak or row of Elms, or water, or such like mark near the place where the cattle were left; and he assures them that by his skill the thieves had no power to carry them farther than that place. They run and seek their cattle, which when they find, O admirable wise man, the price of a Cow we will not stick with him for, happy is the shire where such a one dwells. Thus do the poor cozened people proclaim, and so our shifter is sought too far and near. I think this be juggling in the highest degree: if it be not, Cuckoo is out of his compass. Well the world is full of holes, and more shifts were never practis●e▪ But this is Cuckoos counsel that ye leave in time, lest being convicted like my Host of the Anchor, ye pine yourselves in prison to save your ears from the Pillory: an end too good for juggling shifters, and cozening perjurers.  William Cuckoo. 
Ha sirrah, I am glad we are at an end, Kindhart was never in his life so weary of reading. Beshrew them for me, they have wakened me from a good sleep, and wearied me almost out of my wits. Here hath been a coil indeed with lewd song singers, drench givers, detractors, players, oppressors, rentraisers, bawds, brothelhouses, shifters, and jugglers. But sith they have all done, turn over the leaf and hear how merrily Kind heart will conclude.   

kindhart's Conclusion of his Dream, and his Censure on the Apparitions severally.  
FOR memory's sake, let me see what conclusion we shall form: Antthony told a long tale of Runagate song-singers, inveighing especially against those lascivious ballads, that are by Authority forbidden, privily printed, and publicly sold. In which I find no reason (as before I said) 〈◊〉 I believe none are so desperate to hazard their goods in printing or selling anything that is disallowed. Or if there be some such, I persuade myself the Magistrates diligence is so great, they would soon be weeded out. But now let me sound a little into Anthony's meaning: he complains not that these lascivious songs how ever in London they begin, are there continued, but thence they spread as from a spring; and albeit they dare not there be justified, yet are they in every Pedlar's pack sent to public meetings in other plares where they are suffered, because the Sellers swear thes are published by Authority: an● people far off think nothing is printed but what is lawfully tolerated. Such knaves 〈◊〉 would be looked into, that are not content with corrupting the multitude, but they must slander the Magistrates. If Mopo and his mates be such men that I may meet with, I will not only deliver them Anthony's mind, but urge them to exasperate the matter.  
For Master Doctor's motion, I doubt not but those which have charge thereto to look will be very careful to discharge their duties. Myself will not be slack against wandering Tooth-drawer's. Besides, I have a Copy of the Confederacy between Don Mugel Prince of Rats, and the Grand Cavalier of the Rat-catcher's: which I will publish, if he dissolve not the League, to the utter overthrow of his Standard, being three Rats and a pair of shackells, drawn in a white field, chevernd with Newgate chain, (in memory of his long community therewith) and loftily borne on a broom staff. Neither will I alone against them inveigh, but generally against all such banner-bearers, whether they be of Teeth, of Stone cutting, or of Rat-catching. Nay, Kind heart will not spare the ensign-baerer of Robert the Rifler. What though he be one of the head Burgesses of Knaves-borough: and sometime hath two Bearwards serving under his colours, and they marshaled with Turks, Bows, Arrows, Skoyles, and Nyneholes. And though Kind heart will not meddle with those sports that are lawful; yet it may be shortly he will speak of their lawless abusers.  
With Robin green it passes kindhart's capacity to deal; for as I know not the reason of his unrest: so will I not intermeddle in the cause: but as soon as I can convey his letter, where it should be delivered.  
For old Dick Tarlton that mad companion, I have helped him out with his invective against wring Landlords, and commend his commendation of honest mirth. But I understand, how ever he speaks well of players, there is a graze widow in the world complains against one or two of them, for denying a Legatie offortie shillings sum. Pity it is (poor soul) being turn● to their shifts, they should hinder her of her portion, for had she that, she intends to set upan Apple-shop in one of the Inns. If they pay her, so it is; if not, she hath sworn never to be good, because they have beguiled her.  
For Cuckoo I have somewhat to add to his juggling.  
It happened within these few years, about Hampth●re there wandered a walking Mort, that wen● about ●he Country selling of tape, she had a good voite, and would sing sometime to serve the turn: she would often be a leech, another time a fortune teller.  
In this last occupation we will now take her, for therefore was she taken, having first overtaken an honest simple Farmer and his Wife in this ma●ner.  
ON a Summer's evening by the edge of the Forest, she chanced to meet the forenamed Farmer's wife: 〈◊〉 whom when she had offered some of her tape, she be●an quickly with her to fall in talk. And at the first sta●ing her in the face, assures her she shall have such for● as never had any of her kin: and if her husband were no more unlucky than she, they should be possessed of s● infinite a sum of hidden treasure, as no man in England had ever seen the like.  
The plain woman tickled with her soathing, entreated her to go home, which she at first making somewhat strange, was at last content. There had she such cheer as Farmer's houses afford, who far not with the meanest.  
Shortly the good man comes in, to whom his Wife ●elates her rare fortune, and what a wise woman she had 〈◊〉 with. Though the man were very simple, yet made he some question what learning she had, and how she came by knowledge of such things. O sir (said she) my Father was the cunningst juggler in all the country, my mother a Gipsy, and I have more cunning than any of them both. Where lies the treasure thou talk'st on said the Farme●? Within this three miles (quoth she.) I wonder thou thyself getst it not (said the man) but livest (as it ●eemes) in so poor estate. My poverty (answered this coosner) is my chiefest pride: for such as we ●anuet ourselves uè rich, though we make others rich. Befine, 〈◊〉 treasure is by spirits possessed, and they keep it only for them, to whom it is destinied. And more (said she) if I have a several room to myself, hanged round about with whit● linen, with other instruments, I will by morning tell ye, whether it be destined to you.  
The goodman and wife giving credit to her words, fetched forth their finest sheets, and garnished a chamber as she appointed: seven ●andles she must have lighted, and an Angel she would have laid in every candlestick. Thus furnished, she locks herself into the room, and appoints them two only to watch, without making any of their servants privy. Where using sundry mumbling fallacies, at last she called the man unto her, whom she saddled and bridled, and having seven times ●id him about the room, caus● him to arise and call his wife, for to her belonged the treasure.  
Both man and wife being come, in very sober manner she told them, that they alone must attend in that place, while she forced the spirits to release the treasure & lay it in some convenient place for them to fetch: but in any wise they must not reveal about what she went, neither touch bread nor drink till her return. So taking up the senen Angels away she went, laughing to herself how she had left them waiting.  
All night sat the man and his wife attending her coming, but she was wise enough. Morning came, the servants mused what their Master and Dame meant, that were wont with the Lark to be the earliest risers: yet sith they heard them talk, they attempted not to disturb them. Noon drawing on the Farmer feeling by the chimes in his belly 'twas time to dine; was by his wife counseled to stay till the wise woman's return. Which he patiently intending, on a sudden the sent of the Ploughs wanes meat so pierced his senses, that had all India been the meed of his abstinence, eat he will, or die he must. His wife more money wise, intended rather to starve than lose the treasure: till about evening one of their neighbours brought them news of a woman cozener that by a justice was sent to Winchester for many lewd pranks. The man would needs see if it were the same, and coming thither found it to be no ●ther, where thinking at least to have good words she impudently derided him, specially before the bench: who ask her what reason she had to bridle and saddle him: faith (said she) only to see how like an Ass he looked.  
A number of such there be, whom I will more narrowly search for in my next Circuit, and if my Dream be accepted, set them out orderly.  
FINIS.