A PLEASANT comedy, Showing the contention between Liberality and Prodigality.  

AUT NUNC AUT NUNQUAM.   
As it was played before her Majesty.  
 
LONDON  
Printed by Simon Stafford, for George Vincent: and are to be sold at the sign of the Hand in hand in Wood-street over against S. Michael's Church. 1602.   

THE prologue.  

THe Proverb is, How many men, so many minds.  
Which maketh proof, how hard a thing it is,  
Of sundry minds to please the sundry kinds.  
In which respect, I have inferred this,  
That where men's minds appear so different,  
No play, no part, can all alike content.   

The grave Divine calls for Divinity;  
The Civil student, for Philosophy:  
The Courtier craves some rare found history:  
The baser sort, for knacks of pleasantry.  
So every sort desireth specially,  
What thing may best content his fantasy.   

But none of these our barren toy affords.  
To pulpits we refer Divinity:  
And matters of Estate, to Council boards.  
As for the quirks 'of sage Philosophy,  
Or points of squirgliting scurrility;  
The one we shun, for childish years too rare,  
Th' other unfit, for such as present are.   

But this we bring, is but to serve the time,  
A poor device, to pass the day withal:  
To loftier points of skill we dare not climb,  
Lest perking overhigh, with shame we fall.  
Such as doth best beseem such as we be,  
Such we present, and crave your courtesy:   

That courtesy, that gentleness of yours,  
Which wonted is, to pardon faults of ours:  
Which granted, we have all that we require:  
Your only favour, only our desire.   
The end of the Prologue.   

The speakers.  

The Prologue.  
Vanity, Fortune's chief servant.  
Prodigality, suitor for Money.  
Postilion, his servant.  
Host.  
Tenacity, suitor for money.  
Dandaline, the Hostis.  
Tom Toss.  
Dick Dicer.  
Fortune.  
M. Money, her son.  
Virtue.  
Equity.  
Liberality, chief Steward to Virtue.  
Captain.  
Courtier.  
Lame soldier.  
Constables, with hue and cry.  
Tipstaves.  
Sheriff.  
Clerke.  
crier.  
judge.  
Epilogue.    

THE CONTENTION between Liberality and Prodigality.  


SCENE I.  Enter Vanity solus, all in feathers. 

IN words, to make description of my name,  
My nature or conditions, were but vain,  
Sith this attire so plainly shows the same,  
As showed cannot be in words more plain.  
For lo, thus round about in feathers dight,  
Doth plainly figure mine inconstancy,  
As feathers, light of mind, of wit as light,  
subjecteth still to mUTABILITY.  
And for to paint me forth more properly,  
Behold each feather decked gorgeously,  
With colours strange in such variety,  
As plainly pictures perfect Vanity.  
And so I am to put you out of doubt,  
Even Vanity wholly, within, without,  
In head, in heart, in all parts round about:  
But whence I come, and why I hither come,  
And upon whom I daily do attend,  
In brief, to show you in a little sum,  
My special meaning is, and so an end.  
I came from Fortune, my most sovereign dame,  
Amongst whose chiefest servants I am one,  
Fortune that earthly goddess great of name,  
To whom all suits I do prefer alone,  
She minding in this place forthwith t'appear,  
In her most gorgeous pomp, and Princely port,  
Sends me to see all things in Presence here,  
Prepared and furnished in the bravest sort.  
Here will she mount this stately sumptuous throne,  
As she is wont to hear each man's desire:  
And who so wins her favour by his moan,  
May have of her, the thing he doth require.  
And yet another Dame there is, her enemy,  
'Twixt whom remains continual emulation;  
Virtue, who, in respect of Fortune's sovereignty,  
Is held, God wot, of simple reputation:  
Yet hither comes (poor soul) in her degree,  
This other seat half forced to supply:  
But twixt their states, what difference will be,  
yourselves shall judge, and witness when you see:  
Therefore I must go deck up handsomely,  
What best beseems Dame Fortune's dignity.   Exit.  

SCENE II.  Enter Prodigality, Postilion, Host. Prod. 

Postilion, stay, thou drug'st on like an Ass.  
Lo, here's an Inn, which I cannot well pass:  
Here will we bait, and rest ourselves a while.   Post. 

Why sir, you have to go but six small mile.  
The way is fair, the moon shines very bright,  
Best now go on, and then rest for all night.   Prod. 

Tush, Postil. fair or foul, or far or near,  
My weary bones must needs be rested here.   Post. 

'tis but a paltry Inn, there's no good cheer:  
Yet shall you pay for all things passing dear.   Prod. 
I care not for all that: I love mine ease.  Post. 
Well, Sir, a God's name then, do what you please?  Prod. 
Knock then at the gate.  Post. 

Ho, who's at home? rip, rap. ostler, chamberlain, tapster.  
Ho, take in Gentlemen. rip, rap. knave, slave, host, hostis, ho.  
What, is there none that answers? Tout a la mort?  
Sir, you must make entrance at some other port:  
For here's no passage.   Prod. 

No? let me come, I'll knock a little harder.  
Here must I inn, for sure I will no farther: rip, rap, rap, rap.   
Ho, who dwells here? rip, rap, rap. I'll call on the women another while. Ho Butter-wench, dairy-maid, Nurse, Laundress, Cook, host, hostis, anybody, ho?  Host. 
Whostere?  Prod. 
Up, sir, with a horse nightcap: what, are ye all in a drunken dream? can ye not hear?  Post. 
Not a word more: he is fast asleep again, I fear: what ho?  Host. 
How now?  Prod. 
How now? now the devil take thee. Can calling, nor knocking, nor nothing awake thee?  Host. 
Now sir, what lack ye?  Prod. 
Lodging.  Host. 
What are you?  Post. 
Gentlemen: seest thou not?  Host. 
Whence come ye?  Prod. 
What skills that? open the gate.  Host. 

Nay, soft a while, I am not wont so late  
To take in guests; I like ye not: away.   Prod. 

Nay, stay awhile, mine host, I pray thee stay,  
Open the gate, I pray thee heartily,  
And what we take, we will pay thee royally.   Host. 
And would ye have lodging then?  Prod. 
Yea rather then my life.  Host. 
Then stay a while, i'll first go ask my wife.  Prod. 

Nay, nay, send her rather to me:  
If she be a pretty wench, we shall soon agree.   Post. 
Now a bot's on him and his wife both for me.  Host. 
Then you would have lodging, belike sir?  Prod. 
Yea, I pray thee come quickly.  Host. 
What's your name, and please you?  Prod. 
Prodigality.  Host. 
And will you indeed spend lustily?  Prod. 
Yea that I will.  Host. 
And take that ye find, patiently?  Prod. 
What else?  Host. 
And pay what I ask, willingly?  Prod. 
Yea, all reckonings, unreasonably.  Host. 
Well, go to, for this once I am content to receive ye: come on, sir, I dare say, you are almost weary.  Prod. 
Thou mayst swear it.   

SCENE III.  Enter Virtue and Equity. Virtue. 

Oh most unhappy state, of reckless human kind!  
Oh dangerous race of man, unwitty, fond, and blind!  
Oh wretched worldlings, subject to all misery,  
When fortune is the prop of your prosperity!  
Can you so soon forget, that you have learned of yore,  
The grave divine precepts, the sacred wholesome lore,  
That wise Philosophers, with painful industry  
Had written and pronounced, for man's felicity?  
Whilom hath been taught that fortunes hold is tickle,  
She bears a double face, disguised, false, and fickle,  
Full fraughted with all sleights, she playeth on the pack,  
On whom she smileth most, she turneth most to wrack.  
The time hath been, when virtue had the sovereignty  
Of greatest price, and placed in chiefest dignity:  
But topsy-turvy now, the world is turned about:  
Proud Fortune is preferred, poor Virtue clean thrust out:  
Manssence so dulled is, so all things come to pass,  
Above the massy gold, t'esteem the brittle glass.   Equity. 

Madam, have patience, dame Virtue must sustain,  
Until the heavenly powers do otherwise ordain.   Ver. 

Equity, for my part, I envy not her state,  
Nor yet mislike the meanness of my simple rate.  
But what the heavens assign, that do I still think best:  
My fame was never yet, by Fortune's frown oppressed:  
Here therefore will I rest, in this my homely bower,  
With patience to abide the storms of every shower.   Exit.  

SCENE IIII.  Enter Tenacity and Vanity. Ten. 

By gog's bones, these old stumps are stark tired.  
Chave here round about for life conquered,  
Where any posting nags were to be hired,  
And can get none, would they were all vyred.  
Cham come too late for money, I hold a penny,  
Suitors to Vortune there are so many;  
And all for money, Ihill gauge a round sum:  
Money's gone before Tenacity come:  
Then am I dressed even to my utter shame:  
A fool returned, like as a fool I came.  
Ch am sure chhave come, vorty miles and twenty,  
With all these bags you see, and wallets empty:  
But when chave sued to Vortune vine and dainty,  
Ich hope to vill them up with money plenty:  
But here is one of whom ich will conquer,  
Whilk way che might attain to my desire.  
God speed, my zonne.   Van. 
What, father Croust, whither post you so fast?  Ten. 

Nay, burr lady zonne, ich can make no haste:  
Vor che may say to thee, ch'm tired clean.   Van. 
More shame for you, to keep your ass so lean: But whither go you now?  Ten. 
To a goodly Lady, whom they call her, Vortune.  Van. 
And wherefore?  Ten. 
For money, zonne, but iche veare che come too late.  Van. 

Indeed it seemeth by thy beggars state,  
Thou hast need of money, but let me hear,  
How or by whom think'st thou to get this gear?   Ten. 
Ihill speak her vaire, Ihill make low curtsy.  Van. 
That's somewhat, but how wilt thou come at her?  Ten. 

burr Lady, zonne, zest true, there lies the matter.  
Ihill make some friend.   Van. 
Whom?  Ten. 
Some man of hers that near her doth attend.  Van. 
Who is that?  Ten. 

Ich know not, I'd that unqueer of thee:  
And therefore if thou knowest, tell it me.   Van. 

What, in such haste forsooth, so suddenly,  
And so good cheap, without reward or fee?   Ten. 

Poor men, dear zonne, must crave of courtesy:  
Get I once money, thou shalt rewarded be.   Van. 
Go to then, i'll tell thee: his name is Vanity.  Ten. 
And where is 'a?  Van. 

No more ado, ask but for Vanity,  
Reward him well, he'll help thee to money.   Ten. 
But where?  Va. 
Why here in this place: this is Lady Fortune's palace.  Ten. 

Is this? Ah goodly Lord, how gay it is!  
Now hope I sure of money not to miss.  
So law, my zonne, ich will go rest myself a while,  
And come again.   Van. 

Do so. Now sure this coistrel makes me smile,  
To see his greedy gaping thus for gain,  
First hardly got, then kept with harder pain,  
As you ere long by proof shall see full plain.   Exit. Ten. 
This is mine old Inn, here Ihill knock. Holla ho.  Host. 
What Royster have we there that rappeth so?  Post. 
How now, sirrah, what lack you?  Ten. 
Lodging.  Post. 
Lodging? there is none: all is full.  Ten. 
How so?  Post. 
ta'e up by Gentlemen long ago.  Ten. 
Let me yet have some room for mine ass.  Post. 
Asinus super asinum, volitate ad furcas.  Host. 
Who is that thou pratest therewithal?  Post. 

Look forth and see, a lubber, fat, great, and tall,  
Upon a tired ass, bare, short, and small.   Host. 

O ho, 'tis Tenacity my old acquaintance,  
And to my wife of near alliance.  
Father Tenacity!   Ten. 
Mine Host, God speed: how do you? Take in, Ostler.  Ostler. 
Anon, sir.  Host. 
chamberlain, wait upon my kindred here.  Chamberl. 
Well, sir.   

SCENE V.  Enter Money and Vanity. 

The Song.  Money. 

AS light as a fly,  
In pleasant jollity:  
With mirth and melody,  
Sing money, money, money.  
Money, the minion, the spring of all joy,  
Money, the medicine that heals each annoy,  
Money, the jewel that man keeps in store,  
Money, the Idol that women adore.  
That money am I, the fountain of bliss,  
Whereof who so tasteth, doth never amiss.  
Money, money, money:  
Sing money, money, money.   Van. 
What, Money, sing you so lustily?  Mon. 

I have none other cause: who would not sing merrily,  
Being as I am, in such felicity,  
The God of this world, so mighty of power,  
As makes men, and mars men, and all in an hour?  
Yea where I am, is all prosperity,  
And where I want, is nought but misery.   Van. 

Money saith reason, for so doth it fare,  
Money makes masteries, old proverbs declare.  
But, Money, Of Fortune our sovereign dame,  
What news?   Mon. 

Marry sir, of purpose I hither came,  
To let thee know she will forthwith be here:  
And lo, already see she doth appear.   Van. 

'tis true; now must I show my diligence.  
Down Ladies, stoop, do your reverence.     

SCENE VI.  Enter Fortune in her Chariot drawn with Kings. 

The Song.  

reverence, due reverence, fair dames do reverence,  
Unto this Goddess great do humble reverence:  
Do humble reverence.  
Fortune of worldly state the governess,  
Fortune of man's delight the Mistress,  
Fortune of earthly bliss the patroness,  
Fortune the spring of joy and happiness:  
Lo, this is she, with twinkling of her eye,  
That misers can advance to dignity,  
And Princes turn to miser's misery.   Reverence, due reverence. Fortune. 

Report hath spread, that Virtue here in place  
Arrived is, her silly court to hold:  
And therefore I am come with faster pace,  
t''encounter her, whose countenance is so bold.  
I doubt not, but by this my pompous show,  
By vestures wrought with gold so gorgeously,  
By reverence done to me of high and low,  
By all these ornaments of bravery,  
By this my train that now attends me so,  
By Kings that hale my Chariot to and fro,  
Fortune is known the Queen of all renown,  
That makes, that mars, sets up, and throws adown.  
Well is it known, what contrary effects,  
Twixt Fortune and dame Virtue hath been wrought:  
How still I her contemn, she me rejects;  
I her despise, she setteth me at nought:  
So as great wars are grown for sovereignty,  
And strife as great, twixt us for victory.  
Now is the time of trial to be had,  
The place appointed, eke in present here:  
So as the truth to all sorts, good and bad,  
More clear than light, shall presently appear.  
It shall be seen, what Fortune's power can do,  
When Virtue shall be forced to yield thereto.  
It shall be seen when Virtue cannot bide,  
But shrink for shame, her silly face to hide.  
Then Fortune shall advance herself before  
All harms to help, all losses to restore.  
But why do I myself thus long restrain,  
From executing this I do intend?  
Time posts away, and words they be but vain,  
For deeds (indeed) our quarrel now must end.  
Therefore in place I will no longer stay,  
But to my stately throne myself convey.   Reverence, due reverence, etc.    

ACT II.  

SCENE I.  Enter Liberality. 

HOw seldom is it seen, that Virtue is regarded,  
Or men of virtuous sort, for virtuous deeds rewarded?  
So wonts the world to pamper those that nought deserve,  
Whiles such as merit best, without relief do starve.  
Great imperfections are in some of greatest skill,  
That colours can discern, white from black, good from ill.  
O blind affects of men, how are you led awry,  
To leave assured good, to like frail Vanity!  
If some of virtues train, for Prince and Countries good,  
To show their faithful hearts, shall hazard life and blood,  
And guerdonless depart, without their due reward,  
Small is th'encouragement, th'example very hard.  
Where any well deserve, and are rewarded well,  
There Prince and people both, in safety sure do dwell.  
Where he that truly serves, hath nothing for his pain,  
More hearts are lost, then pecks of gold can ransom home again.  
Let States therefore that wish to maintain stately dignity,  
Seek to acquaint themselves with Liberality:  
For that is it which wins the subjects faithful love,  
Which faithful love, all harms from them and theirs remove.  
Liberality am I, virtues Steward here,  
Who for the virtuous sort, do nothing hold too dear.  
But few to Virtue seek, all sorts to Fortune fly,  
There seeking to maintain their chief prosperity.  
But whoso marks the end, shall be enforced to say,  
O Fortune, thou art blind: let Virtue lead the way.  
But who comes here? It seemeth old Tenacity.  
I must away; for contraries cannot agree.   Exit.  

SCENE II.  Enter Tenacity. Ten. 

Well, since che see there is none other boot,  
Chill now take pains to go the rest afoot:  
For brock mine Ass is saddle-pinched vull sore,  
And so am I, even here: Chill say no more.  
But yet I must my business well apply,  
For which ich came, that is, to get money.  
Chos told that this is Lady vortune's place:  
Chill go boldly to her, that's a ulat case;  
Vor if che speed not now at this first glance,  
Ch'm zure to be dashed quite out of countenance  
By certain lusty gallon lads hereby,  
Seeking vortune's favour as well as I.  
Oh knew I where to find Mast vanity,  
vortune's servant. Of mine honesty,  
Look where he comes in time as fine and trim,  
As if che held him all this while by the chin.    

SCENE III.  Vanity and Tenacity. Van. 
'tis he in deed: what say you to him?  Ten. 
Marry sir, cham now come for money.  Van. 
For money man? what, still so hastily?  Ten. 

Yoo by gisse, sir, 'tis high time che vore ye,  
Cham averd another will hait afore me.   Van. 
Why so? who is it thou fearest? tell me.  Ten. 
Marry sir, they call him Mast Prodigality.  Van. 

Prodigality, is it true? young, wasteful, roisting Prodigality,  
To encounter old, sparing, covetous niggard, Tenacity!  
Sure such a match as needs must yield us sport:  
Therefore until the time that Prodigality resort,  
I'll entertain this crust, with some device.  
Well, father, to be sped of money with a trice,  
What will you give me?   Ten. 

Cha vore thee, son, do rid me quickly hence,  
Chill give thee a vaire piece of threehalpence.   Van. 
Indeed?  Ten. 
Here's my hand.  Van. 

Now, sir, in sooth you offer so bountifully,  
As needs you must be used accordingly.  
But tell me, know you him that cometh here?   Ten. 

Cocks 〈◊〉, 'tis Prodigality, 'tis he I did fear.  
Ch'm afraid che may go whistle now for money.   Van. 

Tush man, be of good cheer, I warrant thee,  
He speedeth best, that best rewardeth me.    

SCENE IIII.  Enter Prodigality, Vanity, Tenacity, Host, Fortune, and Money. Host. 
Sir, Now your reckoning is made even, i'll trust no more.  Prod. 
No.  Host. 
No, sure.  Prod. 

Set cock on hoop then: by some means, good or bad,  
There is no remedy but money must be had.  
By the body of an Ox, behold here this Ass,  
Will be my familiar, wheresoever I pass.  
Why, goodman Croust, tell me, is there no nay,  
But where I go, you must forestall my way?   Ten. 
By gog's flesh and his flounders, sir, che hope the queen's highway is free for every man, for thee as me, for me as thee, for poor Tenacity, as for proud Prodigality; Chill go in the queen's peace about my business.  Prod. 
This way?  Ten. 
Yea.  Prod. 
To whom?  Ten. 
To Vortune my mistress.  Prod. 
Wherefore?  Ten. 
That's no matter to you.  Prod. 

No matter, sir? but by your Croustship, ere you go,  
'tis a plain case, Prodigality will know:  
And therefore be round, come of, and tell me quickly.   Ten. 
And thou'dst so vain know, che go for money.  Prod. 

Out upon thee, villain, traitor, thief, pickpurse,  
Thou penurious knave, caterpillar, and what's worse?  
Hast thou heard me say, that for money I went,  
And couldst thou creep so closely my purpose to prevent?  
By the life I live, thou shalt die the death.  
Where shall I first begin? above or beneath?  
Say thy prayers, slave.   Van. 

How now, my friends, what needs this variance?  
Money comes not by force, money comes by chance:  
And sith at one instant, you both seek for money,  
Appeal both to Fortune, and then shall you try,  
Whether either or neither may hit to have money.   Prod. 

Gentleman, you say well, I know not your name,  
But indeed for that purpose to Fortune I came;  
For furtherance whereof if I might obtain  
Your friendly help, I would quite your pain.   Ten. 
I am your old acquaintance, sir, remember me.  Van. 

Thee, quoth 'a, for thy large offers I may not forget thee.  
You be both my friends, and therefore, indifferently,  
I will commend you both to Fortune's courtesy.  
Lady most bright, renowned goddess fair,  
Unto thy stately throne, here do repair  
Two suitors of two several qualities,  
And qualities indeed that be mere contraries;  
That one is called, wasteful Prodigality;  
That other cleped, covetous Tenacity;  
Both at once unto your royal majesty,  
Most humbly make their suits for money.   Fortune. 
Let's hear what they can say.  Prod. 

Divine Goddess, behold, with all humility,  
For money I appeal unto thy deity;  
Which in high honour of thy majesty,  
I mean to spend abroad most plentifully.   Ten. 

Sweet mistress, grant to poor Tenacity,  
The keeping of this golden darling money:  
Chill vow to thee, so long as life shall dure,  
Under strong lock and key, Ihill keep him vast & sure,   Van. 

Nay, pleaseth then your pleasant fantasy,  
To hear them plead in musical harmony?   For. 
It liketh me.  Pro. 
None better.  Ten. 

Well, though my singing be but homely,  
Chill sing and spring to, e're ch'd lose money.   Van. 

Well, to it a God's name, let saying go than,  
And each sing for himself the best he can.   

The Song.  Prod. 

THe Princely heart, that freely spends,  
Relieves full many a thousand more,  
He getteth praise, he gaineth friends,  
And people's love procures therefore.  
But pinching fist, that spareth all,  
Of due relief the needy robs,  
Nought can be caught, where nought doth fall,  
There comes no good of greedy Cobs:  
This issue therefore do I make,  
The best deserver draw the stake.   Ten. 

WHilst thou dost spend with friend and foe,  
At home che hold the plough byth' tail:  
Che dig, che delve, che zet, che zow,  
Che mow, che reap, che ply my flail.  
A pair of dice is thy delight,  
Thou liv'st for most part by the spoil:  
I truly labour day and night,  
To get my living by my toil:  
Chill therefore sure, this issue make,  
The best deserver draw the stake.    Van. 
Hola, satis disputatum.  Ten. 

Nay, by my father's soul, friend, now chave one begun,  
lett 'ym'ym to't, che pass not when che done.   Prod. 

Lo, Lady, you have heard our reasons both expressed,  
And thereby are resolved, I hope, who merits best.   For. 

Dame Fortune dealeth not by merit, but by chance:  
He hath it but by hap, whom Fortune doth advance;  
And of his hap as he hath small assurance:  
So in his hap likewise is small continuance.  
Therefore at a venture, my dear son Money,  
I do commit you unto Prodigality.   Ten. 

To Prodigality? ah poor Money, I pity thee;  
Continual unrest must be thy destiny:  
Each day, each hour, yea, every minute tossed,  
Like to a tennis ball, from pillar to post.   Money. 
I am where I like.  Ten. 

And is there then no other remedy?  
Must poor Tenacity put up the injury?   Van. 
Your time is not yet come.  Ten. 
When will it come, trow ye?  Van. 
At the next turning water happily.  Ten. 

And che wist that, Chud the more quietly depart,  
And keep therewhile a hungry hoping heart.  
How sayest thou vrend fanity?   Van. 
No doubt but 'tis best.  Ten. 
Then varewell to all at once.  Exit. Prod. 

Good night, and good rest.  
And now will I likewise with my sweet Money,  
Go hunt abroad for some good company.  
Vanity, for thy pains I will not grease thy fist,  
Peltingly with two or three crowns: but when thou list,  
Come boldly unto Prodigality's chest,  
And take what thou wilt, it's ever open.   Van. 
I thank you, sir, 'tis honourably spoken.  Prod. 

Yet ere I go, with song of joyfulness,  
Let me to Fortune show my thankfulness.   

The Song.  Et Exeunt. 

THou that dost guide the world by thy direction, 
Verse to Fortune.   
Thou that dost conquer states to thy subjection,  
Thou that dost keep each King in thy correction,  
Thou that preservest all in thy protection,  
For all thy gifts, unto thy majesty,  
I yield both thanks and praise immortally:  
To mighty Fortune, etc.   

SWeet Money, the minion that sails with all winds, 
Verse to Money.   
Sweet Money, the minstrel that makes merry minds,  
Sweet Money, that gables of bondage unbinds,  
Sweet Money, that maintains all sports of all kinds,  
This is that sweet Money, that rules like a King,  
And makes me all praises of Money to sing.   Exeunt.    

ACT III.  

SCENE I.  Enter Dandaline the Hostess. Dan. 

NOw i'faith ye little peevish harlotry,  
Ill one day make you spit your meat more handsomely.  
By my truth truly, had I not come in the rather,  
She had laid me to the fire, the loin of veal and Capon both together,  
Not weighing, (like an unwitty girlish mother)  
That the one would ask more roasting than the other;  
So that either the veal had been left stark raw,  
Or else the Capon burned, and so not worth a straw;  
And that had been pity: for I assure you at a word,  
A better bird, a fairer bird, a finer bird,  
A sweeter bird, a younger bird, a tenderer bird,  
A daintier bird, a crisper bird, a more delicate bird,  
Was there never set upon any Gentleman's board.  
But I lack my guests, that should pay for this gear:  
And sure my mind gives me, I should find them here,  
Two of mine acquaintance, familiar grown,  
The third to me yet a Gentleman unknown,  
More than by hearsay, that he is fresh and lusty,  
Full of money, and by name Prodigality.  
Now, sir, to link him sure to his Hostis Dandaline,  
Dandaline must provide to have all things very fine.  
And therefore already it is definitum,  
The Gentleman shall want nothing may please his appetitum.  
And because most meats unsauced, are motives to drought,  
He shall have a Leman to moisten his mouth,  
A lemon I mean, no Leman I trow:  
Take heed, my fair maids, you take me not so:  
For though I go not as grave as my Grandmother,  
Yet I have honesty as well as another.  
But hush, now shall I hear some news.    

SCENE. II.  Enter Tom toss, Dick Dicer, and Dandelyne. Dick. 

Fellow Tomkin, I think this world is made of flint;  
there's neither money, nor wares, worth money in't.   Tom. 

Hold thy peace Dick, it cannot still keep at this stint:  
We are now lighted upon such a mint,  
As follow it well, I dare warrant thee,  
Thy turn shall be served in every degree.   Dand. 
Dick boy, mine own boy, how dost thou? what cheer?  Dick. 
What Dandeline mine Hostis, what make you here?  Dand. 
I came of purpose to inquire for thee.  Dick. 
And I came of purpose to seek Prodigality.  Dand. 
What, he you told me of? indeed is it he?  Dick. 
I of my fidelity.  Dand. 

A good boy of mine honesty.  
But when come ye?   Dick. 
As soon as I can find him.  Dand. 

Seek him, good Dick, and find him speedily:  
For this I assure ye, your Supper is ready.   Dick. 
go home before, make all things very fine.  Dand. 
I will, farewell.  Dick. 
Farewell.  Dand. 
Farewell to Tomkin too.  Tom. 
Farewell, sweet Dandeline.  Dand. 
But hear ye? bring him.  Dick. 
Who?  Dand. 
Tush a God's name, you know who I mean, the Gentleman.  Dick. 
go to, go to.  Dandaline exit. Dick. 
Tom, now to the purpose where first we began.  Tom. 
Cast care away, Dick, I'll make thee a man.  Dick. 

A gospel in thy mouth, Tom, for it never went worse.  
Master money hath left me never a penny in my purse.   Tom. 
'Twill be better, Dick, shalt see very shortly.  Dick. 

I pray thee tell me, is this brave Prodigality,  
So full of money as he is said to be?   Tom. 
Full quotha? he is too full, I promise thee.  Dick. 
And will he lash it out so lustily?  Tom. 
Exceedingly, unreasonably, unmeasureably.  Dick. 

Then may such mates as we that be so bare,  
Hope some way or other to catch a share.   Tom. 

Assure thyself that: but whist, he cometh here:  
Let's entertain him with familiar cheer.   Dick. 
In order then bravely.   

SCENE III.  Enter Prodigality, Money, Tom Toss, and Dick Dicer. Prod. 
How be't, my sweet Money, shall we be lusty now?  Money. 
Be as lusty as you will, I'll be as lusty as you.  Prod. 

Who lacks money ho, who lacks money?  
But ask and have, money, money, money.   Dick. 

Sir, here be they that care not for your money,  
So much as for your merry company.   Prod. 
And company is it I seek assuredly.  Tom. 

Then here be companions to fit your fantasy,  
And at all assays to answer your desire:  
To go, to run, to stay, to do, as you require.   Prod. 

What can I wish more? well then, I pray,  
What sports, what pastimes shall we first assay?   Tom. 

Marry first, sir, we both pray you heartily,  
To take a poor supper with us here hard by,  
Where we will determine by common consent,  
What pastimes are fittest, for us to frequent.   Prod. 
I grant.  Dick. 

Then if you please, with some sweet roisting harmony,  
Let us begin the utas of our jollity.   Prod. 
Thou hitst my hand pat. Money, what sayst thou?  Mony. 
I say, that I like it: go to it, I pray you.  Prod. 
Shall I begin?  Mony. 
Yea.  Prod. 

Then surely shall it be,  
To thee, for thee, and in honour of thee.   

The Song.  

Sweet money the minion, that sails with all winds,  
Sweet money the minstrel, that makes merry minds.   Exeunt. fly goldknops.   

SCENE IIII.  Enter Liberality. Lib. 

The more a man with virtuous dealing doth himself enure,  
The less with worldly business, he is molested sure,  
Which maketh proof, that as turmoils still toss the worldly mind:  
So minds exempt from worldly toil, desired quiet find.  
And chiefly where the life is led in virtuous exercise,  
There is no toil, but ease, and contentation to the wise:  
But what account, how sleight regard, is had of virtue here,  
By actions on this worldly stage, most plainly doth appear.  
Men see without most just desert, of virtue nought is got,  
To Fortune therefore fly they still, that giveth all by lot;  
And finding Fortune's gifts, so pleasant, sweet and savoury,  
They build thereon, as if they should endure perpetually.  
But this is sure, and that most sure, that Fortune is unsure,  
herself most frail, her gifts as frail, subject to every shower:  
And in the end, who buildeth most upon her surety,  
Shall find himself cast headlong down, to depth of misery.  
Then having felt the crafty sleights of Fortune's fickle train,  
Is forced to seek by virtues aid, to be relieved again.  
This is the end, run how he list, thus man of force must do,  
Unless his life be clean cut off, this man must come unto:  
In time therefore man might do well, to care for his estate,  
Lest letted by extremity, repentance come too late.    

SCENE V.  Enter Liberality and Captain Weldon. Cap. 

Sir, I beseech you speak a good word for me to the Prince,  
That by her letters, I may be commended to some Province,  
Where service is to be had, either there to die with fame,  
Or else to get me somewhat, whereon to live without shame:  
For beg I cannot, and steal I may not, the truth is so;  
But need doth make, the Proverb saith, th'old wife to trot for woe.  
Yet whom stark need doth pinch, at length the devil drives to go:  
Therefore, I beseech you, pity his extremity,  
That would not make this suit without necessity.   Lib. 
Who be you, my friend?  Cap. 

By birth a Gentleman, by profession a soldier,  
Who, though I say it, in all our sovereign's war,  
With hazard of my blood and life, have gone as far,  
As haply some others, whole fortunes have been better:  
But I in service yet, could never be a getter,  
x can I impute it but to mine own destiny:  
For well I know, the Prince is full of liberality,   Lib. 
What is your name, sir?  Cap. 
My name is, Weldon.  Lib. 
Are you Captain Weldon?  Cap. 
Though unworthy, sir, I bear that name.  Lib. 

Give me your hand, Captain Weldon, for your fame,  
In feats of Arms, and service of your Country,  
I have heard oft, you have deserved greatly:  
Therefore think this, that as you merit much,  
So the consideration thereof shall be such,  
As duly doth pertain to your desert.  
Trust me, the Prince herself, unmoved of my part,  
Your dutiful service hath specially regarded,  
And expressly commands that it be well rewarded:  
Wherefore you shall not need to seek service abroad.  
I exhort you at home still to make your abode:  
That if in this realm occasion of wars be offered,  
You and others your like may be employed.   Cap. 
My duty binds me to obey.  Lib. 

Then for this time you shall not need to stay.  
As for your cause I will remember it,  
And see it holpen too as shall be fit.   Captain Weldon exit.  

SCENE VI.  Enter Liberality and a Courtier. Lib. 

Truly, if I should not have care of this man's necessity,  
I should both swerver from virtue and from honesty.   Court. 
Sir, I humbly beseech you help to prefer my suit.  Lib. 
What is it?  Court. 
There is an office fallen, which I would gladly execute.  Lib. 
Who be you?  Court. 
A servant here in Court.  Lib. 
Do you serve the Prince?  Court. 
No and please you.  Lib. 
Whom then?  Court. 
A noble man near about her Majesty.  Lib. 
In what degree.  Court. 
Forsooth, sir, as his Secretary.  Lib. 
How long have you served?  Court. 
A year or twain.  Lib. 

And would you so soon be preferred?  
In troth, my friend, I would be glad, as I may,  
To do you any good: but this I say,  
Who seeks by virtue, preferment to attain;  
In virtuous proceeding must take more pain,  
Then can be well taken in a year or twain:  
For time gives experience of every man's deeds,  
And each man by merit accordingly speeds.  
Go forward, my friend, in virtue with diligence,  
And time, for your service, shall yield you recompense.  
Your Lord and Master is very honourable,  
And him in your suits you shall find favourable:  
And as for my part, as erst I did say,  
I never will hinder, where further I may.  
Let this for this time be your answer.   Court. 
Sir, with my boldness, I beseech you to bear.  Lib. 

God be with you.  
Some men deserve, and yet do want their due;  
Some men again, on small deserts do sue,  
It therefore standeth PRINCE's Officers in hand,  
The state of every man rightly to understand,  
That so by balance of equality,  
Each man may have his hire accordingly.  
Well, since dame virtue, unto me, doth charge of many things refer,  
I must go do that best beseems a faithful officer.   Exit.   

ACT IIII.  

SCENE I.  Enter Money. Money. 

Liberty, liberty, now I cry liberty:  
Catch me again when you can, Prodigality.  
Never was there poor soul so cruelly handled:  
I was at the first, like a Cockney dandled,  
Stroked on the head, kissed and well cherished,  
And so thought surely I should have continued:  
But now how my case is altered suddenly;  
You would not believe, unless you saw it apparently.  
i'faith since ye saw me, I have been turmoiled  
From post to pillar: see how I am spoiled.  
The villains among them provided the roft,  
But Money was forced to pay for the cost,  
Both of their feasting, and of their chamber cheer,  
Yea in every place, they have fleeced me so near,  
He a fleece and she a fleece; that nothing could I keep,  
But glad to run away like a new shorn sheep.  
And though I have been pinched very near,  
I am glad to see you in good health every one here:  
And now I have escaped the traitorous treachery  
Of such a thriftless Roisting company,  
To my mother in haste again I will get me,  
And keep at home safely: from thence let them fet me.    

SCENE II.  Enter Vanity and Money. Van. 
What, master Money, how goeth the world with you?  Money. 
Look but upon me, thou mayst quickly judge how.  Van. 
Why, where the vengeance, where the devil hast thou bin? Among brambles, or briars, or spirits sure, I ween.  Money. 

Both ween it, and wot it, I have passed a wilderness  
Of most mischievous and miserable distress;  
Sharp brambles, sharp briars, and terrible scratchers,  
Bears, Wolves, Apes, lions, most ravening snatchers,  
Thorns, thistles, and nettles most horrible stingers,  
Ravens, gripes, and griffins, oh vengible wringers,  
Yea through my whole passage such damnable sights,  
As I cannot but judge them most damnable sprites.   Van. 
Hah, hah, ha, ha.  Money. 
Laugh ye, my friend? It is no laughing toy.  Van. 
But who did guide you in this labyrinth of 〈◊〉  Money. 

Who sir? your minion sir, 〈◊〉,  
The Captain elected of all roisting knavery,  
He will be hanged, I warrant him shortly.   Van. 
Hah, hah, ha, ha.  Money. 
Yet go to, laugh on.  Van. 
Are you not a cuck, cuckold?  Money. 

I may be indeed, my clothes be but thin,  
And therefore I will even go get me in,  
That Fortune my mother may clothe me anew.   Exit. Van. 

Do so, you had need so, I may say to you.  
Now sure it is a world of worlds to see,  
How all the world inclines to Vanity:  
Men seek at first, that is but Vanity,  
And lose at last that was but Vanity,  
And yet continue still to follow Vanity,  
As though it were a thing of certainty:  
And I that bear the name of Vanity,  
And see the world's exceeding vanity,  
In following so the tracks of vanity,  
Do triumph still amid my Empery,  
And laugh at their simplicity,  
That will be so misled by Vanity,  
But who is this? oh I know him, a scholar of our train,  
'tis Hob a clunch, that comes for money again.    

SCENE III.  Enter Tenacity, Vanity, Fortune, and. Money. Ten. 
God speed, Mast fanity.  Van. 
Wocum, Mast Tenacity.  Ten. 
Sur, ch'm come once again vor money.  Van. 
So methinks.  Tin. 
shalls be sped now at length trow ye?  Van. 

I cannot tell ye, 'tis hard to say;  
Peradventure yea, peradventure nay.   Ten. 
How so man?  Van. 
I fear me you will spend him too fast away.  Ten. 

Hoh, hoh, ho, ho, dost thou veare, that friend fanity?  
Shalt not need man, Chill keep him safe, che warrant thee.  
Oh that chad him in my clutches, shouldst see I trow,  
Whether Chud keep him vast and safe or no.  
I pray thee, good sweet Mast fanity,  
Speak one good word for poor Tenacity.   Van. 
And dost thou indeed so well love money?  Ten. 
Do my wives Bees at home, thinkst thou, love honey?  Van. 
What wouldst thou do with it?  Ten. 
Chud chud, chud, chud.  Van. 
Chud, chud, what chud?  Ten. 
Chud do no harm at all.  Van. 

No, nor much good (I think) to great nor small.  
But well, put case I procure thee to speed,  
You will remember your promise that I shall be fee'd.   Ten. 
God's vast, man, yea Chill do it, chill do it.  Van. 

Stand there a while and wait.  
Bright goddess, behold here again Tenacity,  
That humbly makes his suit to have money.   Money. 

For money? ho there: money finds himself well:  
Money now hath no liking from Fortune to dwell.   Van. 
In vanum laboraverunt, come.  Ten. 

Now good soot, honey, vaire, golden mistress,  
Let poor Tenacity taste of thy goodness:  
Thee che honour, thee che serve, thee che reverence,  
And in thy help, che put my whole confidence.   For. 
Money, you must go to him, there is no remedy.  Money. 
Yea, and be used as before with Prodigality.  Ten. 

Let Prodigality go to the gallows tree:  
Why man, he and I are clean contrary?  
I chill coll thee, chill cusse thee.   Money. 
So did he.  Ten. 
Chill save thee, chill spare thee, chill keep thee from wasting.  Money. 

So did not he.  
Go to then, seeing that my mothers will is such,  
To put it in adventure I may not grudge.   Ten. 

Oh, my sweeting, my darling, my jewel, my joy.  
My pleasure, my treasure, mine own pretty boy.   Mon. 
How now? what mean you by this, Tenacity?  Ten. 

Oh, forbid me not to kiss my sweet Money.  
Varewell, Vortune: and Vortune, che thank thee alway.  
Come on, sirrah, chill make you vast, bum vay.   Mon. 
What with ropes? what needs that?  Ten. 
Vor veare of robbing by the high way. La, mi, fa, sol, fa, sol, mi, fa, re, mi.  Here Tenacity goeth to the lane for his Ass. Exit.  

SCENE IIII.  Enter Prodigality, Dick Dicer, Vanity, and Tom Tosse. Prod. 

O monstrous vile filthy luck! see, in the twinkling of an eye,  
Scarce knowing which way, I have quite lost my Money.   Dick. 
Out of all doubt, prodigality, he is not gone yonder way.  Prod. 

Then seek some other course, make here no stay:  
He must be found out, there is no remedy.  
Thou knowest in what pickle we stand without Money.   Dick. 

Why sure, Prodigality, it can be no other,  
But he is returned to Fortune his mother.   Prod. 

Thinkest thou so?  
Thou, Fortune, hearest thou? by fair means I advise thee,  
Restore my Money to me again, deal plainly and wisely:  
Or by this sharp-edge sword, shalt see me play a proud part.  
For I will have him again, in spite of thy heart.   Van. 
Whom have we there, that keepeth such a coil?  Prod. 
even he that will not put up such a foil.  Van. 
What's the matter?  Prod. 

Vanity, to that dame thy mistress commend me  
Tell her, tell her, it doth not a little offend me,  
To have my money in such great despite,  
Taken so from me, without any right.  
What though it were once her own proper gift?  
Yet given, 'tis mine own, there is no other shift.  
Therefore charge her in the name of Prodigality,  
That he be restored to me incontinently,  
Lest she repent it.   Van. 

These be sore and cruel threatenings, marry.  
Is your haste so great, that by no means you may tarry?   Prod. 
I will not tarry, and therefore make haste.  Van. 

Soft, sir, a little, there is no time past.  
You may tarry, you must tarry, for aught as I know:  
Nay, than you shall tarry, whether you will or no.   Exit. Dick. 
'swounds, sir, he mocks you.  Prod. 

Gibe not with me, you whoreson rascal slave,  
For money I come, and money will I have.  
Sirrah, Vanity, Vanity. What, Vanity?  
Speak and be hanged, Vanity. What wilt not be?   Dick. 
What a prodigious knave, what a slave is this?  Prod. 

Fortune, fine Fortune, you, minion, if ye be wife,  
Bethink ye betimes, take better advice:  
Restore unto me my money quietly,  
Else look for wars: Vanity, Fortune, Vanity.   Dick. 
Sir, you see it booteth not.  Prod. 

It is but my ill luck.  
Now the devil and his dam give them both suck.  
What may we do? what counsel giv'st thou, Dick?   Dick. 

Marry, sir, be ruled by me, I'll show you a trick,  
How you may have him quickly.   Prod. 
As how?  Dick. 
Scale the walls, in at the window, by force fet him.  Prod. 

None better in faith, fetch a ladder, and I will set him.  
Fortune, thou injurious dame, thou shalt not by this villainy,  
Have cause to triumph over Prodigality.  
Why speakst thou not, why speakst thou not, I say?  
Thy silence doth but breed thine own hurt and decay.   Dick. 
Here is a ladder.  Here Prod. scaleth. Fortune claps a halter about his neck, he breaketh the halter & falls. Prod. 
Set it to.  Prod. 
'swounds, help, Dick: help quickly, or I am choked.  Dick. 
God a mercy good halter, or else you had been yoked.  Prod. 

O thou vile, ill-favoured, crow-trodden, pie-pecked 〈◊〉!  
Thou abominable, blind, foul filth, is this thy wont,  
First, maliciously to spoil men of their good,  
And then by subtle sleights thus to seek their blood?  
I abhor thee, I defy thee, wheresoever I go,  
I do proclaim myself thy mortal foe.   Tom Tosse. 
News, Prodigality, news.  Dick. 
Good, and God will.  Prod. 
What news, Tom?  Tom. 
I have met with money.  Prod. 
Where?  Tom. 

Marry sir, he is going into a strange country,  
With an old chuff called Tenacity.   Prod. 
Tenacity? is that tinker's budget so full of audacity?  Tom. 
'tis true,  Prod. 
May we not overtake him?  Tom. 
Yes, easily with good horses,  Prod. 
Let's go then for God's sake, we'll catch him in a trap.  Dick and Tom. 
Go, we will go with you, whatever shall hap,   

SCENE V.  Enter Vanity, and Fortune. Van. 

O rotten rope, that thou must be so brittle!  
Hadst thou but happened to have held a little,  
I had taught my princocks against another time,  
So to presume dame Fortune's bower to climb.  
To make such a scape, his hap was very good.  
Well, he scaped fair, I swear by the rood:  
But will you have me say my fantasy,  
Quod differtur, non aufertur. For assuredly  
The Gentleman will never hold himself quiet,  
Till once more he come to taste of this diet.  
Mark the end.   For. 
Vanity?  Van. 
Madam.  For. 
Is this Royster gone!  Van. 
Yea, Madam, he is gone.  For. 

Then get thee anon,  
And cause my attendants to come away,  
For here as now I will no longer stay,  
But prosecute this foe of mine so fast,  
By mischiefs all I may, that at the last,  
He shall arrive unto a wretched end,  
And with repentance learn how to offend  
A goddess of my state and dignity.   Van. 
Lady, to do your will, I hasten willingly.  vanity exit. Come down. For. 

Dame Fortune's power, her most exceeding might,  
Is known by this as an undoubted thing:  
Since here most plainly hath appeared in sight,  
How all the world doth hang upon her wing,  
How high and low, of all states and degrees,  
Do rise and fall again as she decrees.  
Then let not Virtue think it scorn to yield,  
To Fortune chief of power, chief sovereignty:  
Sith Fortune here by proof hath won the field,  
Subdued her foes, and got the victory:  
For as she list to favour, else to frown,  
She hoiseth up, or headlong hurleth down.   Van. 

Madam, here are your vassals ready priest,  
To do the thing that Fortune liketh best.   For. 

Well then, come on, to witness this our victory,  
Depart we hence with sound of fame triumphantly.  
Reverence, due reverence.     

ACT V.  

SCENE I.  Enter Prodigality, Money, Tom Dick. Prod. 

Come on, my bulchin, come on, my fat fat ox.  
Come porkling, come on, come pretty twattox.  
Why will it not be? yet faster a curtsy.  
This Gentleman of late is waxen so pursy,  
As at every lands end he seeketh to rest him.  
How think ye? hath not Tenacity trimly dressed him?   Money. 

Prodigality, if thou lov'st me, let us here stay:  
For sure I can do no more than I may.  
I am out of breath as weary as a dog,   He falls down upon his elbow. Tom. 
A luskish lubber, as fat as a hog.  Prod. 
Come up, gentle Money, we may not here stay.  Money. 

I must needs, Prodigality, there is no nay:  
For if I should stir me one inch from the ground,  
I think I shall die, sure, or fall in a sound.   Prod. 
Then must you be drawn.  Mony. 

Drawn, or hanged, all is one:  
For I cannot stir me, my breath is clean gone.   Prod. 
How like ye this grossum corpus, so mightily grown?  Tom. 
I like him the better, that he is your own.  Dick. 

A more monstrous beast, a beast more unwieldy,  
Since first I was borne, yet never beheld I.   Prod. 

Indeed the whoreson is waxen somewhat too fat:  
But we will find medicines to remedy that.   Tom. 

Sir, let me but have him a little in cure,  
To put my poor practice of Physic in ure,  
And I dare warrant ye with a purgation or twain,  
I'll quickly rid him out of all his pain.   Prod. 
I think a glister were better.  Dick. 
Nay, rather a suppository.  Tom. 
Nay then, what say you to letting of blood?  Dick. 

I think that some of these should do him good.  
Ask the Physician.   Money. 
Prodigality.  Prod. 
Hoo.  Money. 
I am sick.  Prod. 
Where, man?  Money. 

Faith, here, in my belly.  
It swells, I assure ye, out of all measure.   Prod. 
Take heed it grow not to a Timpany.  Money. 
And if it do, what is the danger then?  Prod. 
A consumption.  Money. 
A consumption, marry, God forbid, man.  Tom. 

What think you now of tenacity?  
Was he your friend or your foe?   Money. 

Ah, that wretch Tenacity hath brought me to all this woe,  
'Twas he indeed that sought to destroy me,  
In that he would never use to employ me:  
But prodigality, sweet Prodigality,  
Help to provide some present remedy:  
Let me not be thus miserably spilled,  
Ease me of this, and use me as thou wilt.  
Yet had I rather live in state bare and thin,  
Then in this monstrous plight that now I am in:  
So fatty, so foggy, so out of all measure,  
That in myself, I take no kind of pleasure.   Prod. 
Why, rise up then quickly, and let us be gone.  Money. 
Friends, you must help me. I cannot rise alone.  Dick. 

Come on, my sweet Money, we must have a mean,  
To turn this foggy fat, to a finer lean,   Money. 
The sooner the better.  Tom. 

Nay, Money, doubt not, but by sweat or by vomit,  
I warrant thee boy, shortly thou shalt be rid from it.   Prod. 

Rid, quotha, if shaving, or boxing, or cowering,  
Or anointing, or scraping, or purging, or blood letting,  
Or rubbing, or paring, or chafing, or fretting,  
Or ought else will rid it, he shall want no ridding.  
Come on, Money, let's be jogging.    

SCENE II.  The Constables make hue and cry. Con. 
thieves, neighbours, thieves, come forth, beset the country.  Prod. 
Hark, list a while, what might this clamour be?  Dick. 

Zounds, we are undone, Prodigality,  
The Constables come after with hue and cry.   Tom. 
O Cerberus, what shall we do?  Prod. 
Stand back, lie close, and let them pass by.  Const. 

thieves, thieves! O vile! O detestable deed!  
thieves, neighbours: come forth, away, abroad with speed.   Host. 
Where dwell these Constables?  Const. 
Why? what's the matter, friend, I pray?  Host. 

Why, thieves man, I tell thee, come away.  
thieves i'faith, wife, my skull, my Jack, my brown bill.   Const. 
Come away quickly.  Host. 

Dick, Tom, Will, ye whoresons, make ye all ready, and haste apace after.  
But let me hear, how stands the case?   Const. 

Marry, sir, hereby, not far from this place,  
A plain simple man riding on his Ass,  
Meaning home to his Country in God's peace to pass,  
By certain Roisters most furious and mad,  
Is spoiled and robbed of all that he had.  
And yet not contented, when they had his money,  
But the villains have also murdered him most cruelly.   Host. 
Good God for his mercy!  Const. 

It was my hap to come then present by him,  
And found him dead, with twenty wounds upon him.   Host. 
But what became of them?  Const. 
They fled this way.  Host. 

Then, neighbour, let us here no longer stay,  
But hence and lay the country round about.  
They shall be quickly found, I have no doubt.   Constable goes in.  

SCENE III.  Enter Virtue, and Equity, with other attendants. Vert. 

My Lords, you see how far this worldly state perverted is,  
From good declined, inclined still to follow things amiss.  
You see but very few, that make of Virtue any price:  
You see all sorts with hungry wills, run headlong into vice.   Equit. 

We see it oft, we sorrow much, and heartily lament,  
That of himself, man should not have a better government.   Ver. 

The very beasts that be devoid of reason, dull & dumb,  
By nature learn to shun those things, whereof their hurt may come.  
If man were then but as a beast, only by nature taught,  
He would also by nature learn, to shun what things are nought.  
But man with reason is endued, he reason hath for stay,  
Which reason should restrain his will, from going much astray.   Equit. 

Madam, 'tis true:  
Where reason rules, there is the golden mean.   Ver. 

But most men stoop to stubborn will,  
Which conquereth reason clean.   Equit. 

And Will again to fancy yields,  
Which twain be special guides,  
That train a man to tread ill paths,  
Where ease and pleasure bides.   Ver. 
No ease, no pleasure, can be good, that is not got with pains.  Equit. 

That is the cause from virtues love,  
Man's fancy still refrains.   Vert. 

And pains, I think, they feel likewise,  
That unto vice do bend.   Equit. 

They feel, no doubt: but yet such pains  
Come not before the end.   Ver. 
I grieve for man, that man should be, of ill attempts so fain.  Equit. 
Grieve not for that, evil tasted once, turns him to good again.  Ver. 

Then will I take a cheerful mind,  
Unpleasant thoughts expel,  
And cares for man commit to them,  
That in the heavens do dwell.   Equit. 

Do so, dear Madam, I beseech you most heartily,  
And recreate yourself before you go hence, with some sweet melody.   

THE SONG.  

IF pleasure be the only thing,  
That man doth seek so much:  
Chief pleasures rest, where virtue rules:  
No pleasure can be such.   

Though virtues ways be very straight,  
Her rocks be hard to climb:  
Yet such as do aspire thereto,  
Enjoy all joys in time.   

Plain is the passage unto vice,  
The gaps lie wide to ill:  
To them that wade through lewdness lake,  
The Ice is broken still.   

This therefore is the difference,  
The passage first seems hard:  
To virtues train: but then most sweet,  
As length is their reward.  
To those again that follow vice,  
The way is fair and plain:  
But fading pleasures in the end,  
Are bought with fasting pain.  
If pleasure be the only thing, etc.     

SCENE IIII.  Enter Virtue, Equity, Liberality, Money, and the Sheriff. Vert. 
Now my Lords, I see no cause, but that depart we may.  Equit. 
Madam, to that shall like you best, we willingly obey.  Lib. 
Yes, Lady, stay awhile, and hear of strange adventures.  Ver. 
Of what adventures tell you? let us know.  Lib. 
Master Sheriff, of that is happened, do you make show.  Sheriff. 

Then may it please you, the effect is this:  
There is a certain Royster, named Prodigality,  
That long about this town hath ruffled in great jollity,  
A man long suspected of very lewd behaviour,  
Yet standing ever so high in Fortune's favour,  
As never till now, he could be bewrayed,  
Of any offence, that to him might be laid:  
Now wanting (belike) his wonted bravery,  
He thought to supply it, by murder and robbery.   Equit. 
By murder and robbery?  Sheriff. 
Yea, sure.  Ver. 
How?  Sheriff. 

This gallant, I tell you, with other lewd franions,  
Such as himself, unthrifty companions,  
In most cruel sort, by the high way side,  
Assaulted a country man, as he homewards did ride,  
Robbed him, and spoiled him of all that they might,  
And lastly, bereaved him of his life outright.   Ver. 
O horrible fact!  Sheriff. 

The country hereupon raised hue & cry straightway:  
He is apprehended, his fellows fled away:  
I supplying, though unworthy, for this year,  
The place of an Officer, and Sheriff of the shire,  
To my PRINCE's use, have seized on his money,  
And bring you the same, according to my duty:  
Praying, the party may have the law with speed,  
That others may be terrified from so foul a deed.   Ver. 

So horrible a fact can hardly plead for favour:  
Therefore go you, Equity, examine more diligently,  
The manner of this outrageous robbery:  
And as the same, by examination shall appear,  
Due justice may be done in presence here.   Equit. 
It shall be done, Madam.  Sheriff. 

Then, Madam, I pray you, appoint some Officer to take the money,  
That I may return again with Equity.   Ver. 
Let it be delivered to my steward Liberality.  Exeunt. Lib. 
What, Money? how come you to be so fat and foggy?  Mony. 
Surely, sir, by the old chuff, that miser Tenacity.  Lib. 
How so?  Money. 

He would never let me abroad to go,  
But locked me up in coffers, or in bags bound me fast,  
That like a Boar in a sty, he fed me at last.  
Thus Tenacity did spoil me, for want of exercise:  
But Prodigality, clean contrariwise,  
Did toss me, and fleece me, so bare and so thin,  
That he left nothing on me, but very bone and skin.   Lib. 

Well, Money, will you bide with him that can devise,  
To rid you and keep you from these extremities?   Money. 
Who is that?  Lib. 
Even myself, Liberality.  Money. 

Sir, I like you well, and therefore willingly,  
I am contented with you to remain,  
So as you protect me from the other twain,   Lib. 

I warrant thee.  
First, from thy bands I'll set thee free,  
And after, thy sickness cured shall be,   Money. 
Thanks and obedience I yield, & vow to Liberality.  Exit. Enter Captain Weldon. Cap. 

My Lord, according to your appointment and will,  
I come to attend your pleasure.   Lib. 
Have you brought your bill?  Cap. 
Yea, my Lord.  Lib. 

Give it me.  
I'll be your mean unto the Prince, that it may dispatched be:  
The while take here, these hundred crowns to relieve ye.   Cap. 
God save the Queen, and God save Liberality.  2. suitor. 

Sir, I have long served the Prince at great expense,  
And long have I been promised a recompense:  
I beseech you consider of me.   Lib. 
What, do you serve without fee?  2. Suit. 
Yea truly, sir.  Lib. 
Hold, pray for the Queen.  2. Suit. 

It shallbe my prayer day and night truly.  
God save the Queen, and God save Liberality.   3. suitor. 

Now, good my Lord, vouchsafe of your charity,  
To cast here aside your pitiful eye,  
Upon a poor soldier, naked and needy,  
That in the queen's wars was maimed, as you see.   Lib. 
Where have you served?  3. Suit. 
In France, in Flanders: but in Ireland most.  Lib. 
Under whom?  3. Suit. 
Under Captain Weldon.  Cap. 
He was my soldier, indeed sir, until he lost his leg.  Lib. 
Hold, pray for the Queen.  3. Suit. 
God save the Queen, and God save Liberality.   

SCENE V.  Enter Tipstaves, Liberality, Equity, Sheriff, Clerks, Crier, Prodigality, and the judge. Tip. 

Room, my Masters, give place, stand by.  
Sir, Equity hath sent me to let you understand,  
That hither he will resort out of hand,  
To sit upon the arraignment of Prodigality.   Lib. 
In good time.  Tip. 
Behold, he comes.  Lib. 
Now, Equity, how falls the matter out?  Equit. 

That Prodigality is guilty of the fact, no doubt,  
And therefore for furtherance of justice effectually,  
My Lord the judge comes to sit upon him presently:  
Wherein we crave your assistance.   Lib. 
I'll wait upon you.  Tip. 
Room, my masters, room for my Lord: stand by.  The judge placed, and the Clerks under him. judge. 
Call for the prisoner.  Clerk. 
Make an oyes, crier.  crier. 
Oyes, oyes, oyes!  Clerk. 
Sheriff of Middlesex.  crier. 
Repeat, Sheriff, etc.  Clerk. 
Bring forth the prisoner.  crier. 
Bring, etc.  Clerk. 
Prodigality.  crier. 
Prodigality.  Clerk. 
Pain of the peril shall fall thereon.  crier. 
Pain of, etc.  Sheriff. 
Here, sir.  Clerk. 
Prodigality, hold up thy hand.  
Thou art indicted here by the name of Prodigality, for that thou, the fourth day of February, in the three & forty year of the prosperous reign of Elizabeth our dread Sovereign, by the grace of God, of England, France, and Ireland Queen, defender of the faith, etc. together with two other malefactors yet unknown, at Highgate in the County of Middle sex afore said, didst feloniously take from one Tenacity of the parish of Pancridge yeoman, in the said County, one thousand pounds of gold and silver starling: And also, how thyself, the said prodigality; with a sword, price twenty shillings, then and there cruelly didst give the said Tenacity upon the head, one mortal wound, whereof he is now dead, contrary to the queen's peace, her, Crown and dignity.  judge. 
How sayst thou, Prodigality, to this robbery, felony, and murder? art thou guilty, or not guilty?  Prod. 
My Lord, I beseech you, grant me council to plead my cause.  judg. 
That may not be, it standeth not with our laws.  Prod. 
Then, good my Lord, let me some respite take.  judg. 

Neither may that be: thus doth the indictment lie,  
Thou art accused of murder, and of robbery,  
To which thou must now answer presently,  
Whether thou be thereof guilty or not guilty.   Prod. 

Well, since there is no other remedy,  
And that my fact falls out so apparently,  
I will confess, that in deed I am guilty,  
Most humbly appealing to the prince's mercy.   judg. 

Then what canst thou say for thyself, Prodigality,  
That according to the law thou shouldst not die?   Prod. 
Nothing, my Lord: but still appeal to the PRINCE's mercy.  judg. 
Then hearken to thy judgement.  
Thou, Prodigality, by that name haste been indicted and arraigned here, of a robbery, murder, and felony, against the laws committed by thee: the indictment whereof being read unto thee here, thou confessest thyself to be guilty therein: whereupon I judge thee, to be had from hence, to the place thou camest fro, and from thence to the place of execution, there to be hanged till thou be dead. God have mercy on thee.  Prod. 
My Lord, I most humbly beseech you to hear me.  judg. 
Say on.  Prod. 

I confess, I have run a wanton wicked race,  
Which now hath brought me to this woeful wretched case:  
I am heartily sorry, and with tears do lament  
My former lewd, and vile misgovernment.  
I find the brittle stay of trustless Fortune's state.  
My heart now thirsteth after Virtue, all too late:  
Yet good my Lord, of pity condescend,  
To be a mean for him, that meaneth to amend.  
The Prince is merciful, of whose great mercy,  
Full many have largely tasted already:  
Which makes me appeal thereto more boldly.   judg. 

Prodigality, I not mislike your wailful disposition,  
And therefore, for you to the Prince, there shall be made Petition,  
That though your punishment be not fully remitted,  
Yet in some part, it may be qualified.   Prod. 
God save your life.  Virtue, Equity, Liberality, judge, and all come down before the Queen, and after reverence made, Virtue speaketh.   

THE epilogue.  

MOst mighty Queen, yonder I sat in place,  
Presenting show of chiefest dignity;  
Here prostrate, lo, before your Princely grace,  
I show myself, such as I ought to be,  
Your humble vassal, subject to your will,  
With fear and love, your Grace to reverence still.    
FINIS.