THE LOVER or A Discourse of NUPTIAL LOVE Written by Robert Crosts To please himself 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Virgil. Ecloga. 10. Omnia Vincit amor, & nos cedamus amori. Boetius metro. 8. lib 2. Hic & coniugij sacrum Castis nectit amoribus. Omne tulit punctum, qui miscuit utile dulci 〈…〉 W. Martial. sculp: THE LOVER: OR, NUPTIAL LOVE. WRITTEN, by Robert Crofts, To please himself. LONDON, Printed by B. Alsop and T.F. for Rich: Meighen, next to the middle Temple in Fleetstreet. 1638. TO THE READER. COurteous Reader, if you ask me, to what intent I publish this Treatise, I may answer, to please you: A well resolved man cannot please himself, but he desires to please others also, and endeavours in all good ways so to do. And I am not out of hope, but that this discourse, will profit some men also, since I have made use of many and diverse Authors in the composing thereof. But I have endeavoured to digest the same into such a new manner, method style and form, as was most pleasing to myself; adding thereunto such Inventions, Raptures, observations, Poems, Alterations, & experiments, as met with my meditations: so as the Treatise may seem and be even as pleasing as if it were all new. Which to do, oft times requires well nigh as much Art, as wholly the Invention of new matters. It is true, I know the world is cloyed with books and many there be perhaps more than needs of this subject; but this is a brief and Compendious discourse; and therefore I hope will neither cloy the world or the Reader. It was written for Recreation, amidst more serious occasions; and so I desire it may be read. I know there be many malicious, envious, male contented and malign Spirits in the world, who will pine, grieve, and grudge at the prosperity and pleasures of True-lovers, as they do at all happiness, and that there be many carping Readers who usually read all (especially pleasing) books, in a sneaking manner, and endeavour to find nothing so much as faults; and by their juggling and cunning art of detraction, can make one or a few faults, seem to devour a multitude of good Actions, endeavouring nothing so much as to discourage and hinder all good, pleasant and happy ways. But for the censure of such men, I shall endeavour not to regard, or else to contemn them. Yet truly I shall think myself much obliged to such, as in good will shall tell me of my faults, Errors, Ignorances' and negligences. However knowing that all things in the world are imperfect, it shall suffice to please myself, that I have done as well as I could for the present time. But I had not so easily nor so soon been persuaded to be, a fool in Print as the proverb goes, and as the Carping and barking Reader is especially like to say, if I had not had some enemies (aswel as many friends) who have provoked me rather to be censured by many, then abused by a few. But if I did not think and hope that this discourse would be pleasant & profitable to some in reading, as it hath been to me in writing, & if that I had not been greatly encouraged herein by many men, I should still have been content to have suffered the aspersion of a Pocket Author, ashamed to show himself abroad, fearing to be a fool in Print. Farewell. The Contents. THe first Section, treateth of the Excellency of Nuptial Love. The TWO of the miseries of the loss and want of such Love. Section III. of a good choice in Love. IV How to Enjoy our wishes, please our Lovers, and increase Love. V The Art of Love, discourse. VI An instance in this Art concerning Love's Excellency. VII Showing further the use of this Art of discourse. VIII Showing briefly how to attain the same. IX Answers to some objections. X Remedies against the loss of Love. XI Remedies against an oversottish and doting Love. XII Remedies against unlawful Lusts. XIII Remedies against discontents after marriage. XIIII A brief persuasion to marriage. XV The good use of this Nuptial Love, and so concluding, with a brief discourse of Divine Love. THE LOVER OR A Compendious Discourse of Nuptial Love. SECTION. 1. Of the Excellency thereof. THe Definition, Divisions, Pedigree, kinds, object, causes, symptoms and effects of this subject, Nuptial Love, hath exercised the pen of many and diverse Authors; they are Common and well known, I shall therefore begin with the excellency thereof. The Excellency of this marriage Love, may first appear by the Author thereof, which is God himself. In the beginning of the World, the Lord God said it is not good that man should be alone I will make an help meet for him. Gen. 2.18. Our Saviour saith, from the beginning of the Creation God made them male and female, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. Mark. 10.7. Mat. 19 And in his Sacred Word, by St. Paul he saith, Husbands love your wives as Christ loved his Church; so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, for he that loveth his wife loveth himself. Eph. 5.25.28. The excellency of this Nuptial Love, may further appear in respect of the object, which is Woman, who is the image of God as well as man. Gen. 1.27. An help meet for him, 2.28. A part of himself. 31. Wine is strong, Kings are strong; but a woman is stronger. Women have Dominion over Kings, saith zorobabel. Esdr. 4. All men submit to Love. When that Hermit's boy, who had always been brought up in the wilderness came first abroad in the world, being asked what sight pleased him best therein, readily replied. Those things which you call Women. A virtuous woman is a Crown to her husband, saith King Solomon. Prov. 12.4. Love's excellency also appears in respect of the parties affected; The bravest, the most noble, generous, and gallant spirits, are commonly most and best taken and possessed with this Love: wherefore it is called Heroical Love. And the parts of man affected also, are his most excellent parts, as the Heart, liver, blood and brains; and consequently, the imagination and Reason. I say Reason! for want of Love commonly shows want of reason; either stupidity or peevishness in a man. It is most certain that divine Love is infinitely more excellent and above humane Love; And such men as are of a Divine temper, may easily overcome the same. But all of us have bodies aswell as souls, we are composed of humanity aswell as divinity, and he that never felt the power of this love may be esteemed as some Eunuch, or sot, or else of a superhumane temper And on the other side, excess of love, shows weakness, dotishnesse, and folly; and then these excellent parts of man are misaffected. Such Love is without Reason, but true love is most agreeable thereunto and therefore Excellent. And further, the excellency of this Nuptial Love appeareth by the effects thereof, which are very many. To instance briefly in some few of them. This Love preserves and increases mankind in a perpetual generation, and unites familiar Provinces, and Kingdoms. It causeth abundance of felicity to such as are indeed true lovers, such who live together like Abraham and Sara, Isaac & Rebecca, Paetus and Arica, Seneca and his Paulina, Rubenus Caelar and his Ennea, Cato and his Portia, and the rest of those who are registered in the list of true and happy Lovers. It is said, there is no pleasure in the world like that of the sweet society of Lovers, in the way of marriage, and of a loving husband and wife. He is her head, she commands his heart, he is her Love, her joy, she is his honey, his Dove, his delight. They may take sweet council together, assist and comfort one another in all things, their joy is doubled and Redoubled. By this blessed union, the number of Parents, friends, and kindred is increased; It may be an occasion of sweet and lovely Children, who in after times may be a great felicity and joy to them. And these may remain as living Pictures to show their memory, from generation to generation; Lysippus, Mento Polycletus, Zeuxis or Parthasius, had never the skill to engrave or paint the father and mother near so well and lively; and great is the Pleasure that loving Parents enjoy in their Children. A multitude of felicities, a million of joyful and blessed effects, spring from true Love. And indeed this Nuptial Love and society sweetens, all our Actions, discourses; all other pleasures, felicities, and even in all Respects, Increases true joy and happiness. SECTION. 2. The Miseries of the loss and want of such Love. THis blessedness & excellency of love will be the more apparent if we consider the miseries either of the loss of such love before marriage, or of the want thereof after marriage. It is wonderful to think how many Lovers, for want of enjoying their wishes in this kind, plunge themselves into a multitude of cares, fears, sorrows, blindness, dotage, servitude, slavery, mischief and miseries. Many men will venture their goods, fame, lives, and (as King john for Matilda) Crowns if they had them, to enjoy their Loves. Sorrow, dejection, much waking, sighing, Neglects, Peevishness, restless thoughts, brutish attempts, want of apperite, paleness, and leanness, are common effects and Symptoms of the want of enjoying, and of the loss of Love. And millions of men having lost their Loves, for this cause, become Melancholy, discontented and dejected, all their life-time after. Many there be (saith zorobabel) that have run out of their wits for women, and become servants for their sakes. Esdr. 4.26. These things are commonly known; Bedlam hath been full of examples. Many also have perished, have erred, and sinned for women. Esdr. 4.26. Examples hereof have been common in all ages. Histories are full of them. And how many have we known and heard of in our ages, who have consumed away and died for want of enjoying and losing their loves, yea some for grief have been their own executioners and for this cause have made away themselves. And after marriage it is strange to think, what jealousies, Contentions, Fears, Sorrows, strange Actions, gestures, looks, bitter words, outrages and debates, are between men and their wives for want of true love and discretion. These things have always been and are so common to all men's view, as they need but little disquisition. An evil woman (saith the wise man) makes a sorry countenance and an heavy heart, and he had rather dwell with a Lion then keep house with such a wife. Eccl. 26.27. And he that hath her is as if he held a Scorpion, verse. 14. SECT. III. Of a good choice in Love. But that we may truly love, obtain our loves, enjoy them and live well together; First let us make a good choice in Love. A good wife is from the Lord, saith King Solomon; Let us then first go to him by prayer for such a one, and invite Christ to our wedding, let us take Saint Paul's counsel, to marry only in him. Whatsoever ye do, saith he, let all be done to the praise and glory of God. Let Piety and Virtue be the first mover of our affections, since therein only consists true and permanent felicity. And no lovers live more pleasantly and happily together, than such as are of gracious and virtuous conditions. Whereas among such as are of vicious and impious conditions, what is to be seen, but strife, tumults, disorder, suspicion, confusion, and misery in the end. A virtuous and well given lover, is much better to be esteemed, than a fine fair face with ill conditions, Let us not then be so sensual, as to love only the corpse, but look higher, and see something in our lovers of an Angelical nature; That is, a free virtuous and gracious mind, which to an understanding man appears to be a divine essence, and to which he mingles his soul in love, which (if truly thought on) will appear to be a fare more excellent and permanent love than that of the body, and consequently more pleasant. So then let us sphere our loves, and seek beauty rather in a mind then in a countenance. In the next place after Piety, virtue, and good conditions, it is very good and requisite to look after corporal and external respects. And as near as we may, to choose such as are of equal years, birth, fortunes, and degree, of good parentage, and kindred, of such a countenance, complexion and constitution, as best agrees to our love and disposition. Inconsiderate and unequal marriage, are commonly very pernicious and a multitude of mischievous and miserable effects spring from such marriages. An old woman is a very unfit and unpleasing companion for a young man, and for an old man to dote upon young wenches is very unseemly and hateful. Ecclus. 25.26. And commonly much strife, suspicion, jealousy, discontents, and miseries ensue such marriages. It is a good time, as some say, for a man to marry between five & twenty years old, and thirty, and for a woman between her age of eighteen and two and twenty. That young fine wife of old rich Faelix Plater of Basill, being married to him against her will for grief hanged herself. Such as marry foolish light Fantastic adlepated, brainsick, Pieces, and of contrary conditions, are like to find but peevish, jealous, froward and untoward things of them. If a sound and healthy person marries one that is diseased and impotent, It is like to be an occasion of much discontent. And so in all respects such as marry unequally and unfitly, what better success can they look for, then Vulcan had with Venus, Menelaus with Helen, Theseus with Phadra, Minos with Pasiphae, Claudius with Messalina; Suspicion, jealousy, Strife, Shame, Sorrow, Discontent, and Misery. Let us then as near as we may conveniently, choose such as are of fit and equal years, birth, fortunes, degree, parentage, constitution, and of like virtuous, and gracious conditions. And especially such a one as from our hearts we can truly love. From such a loving, fit, equal and good choice is like to spring abundance of most sweet delights and felicities. SECT. FOUR Showing how to enjoy our wishes, please our Lovers, and increase love. HAving made our choice, now comes a question. How shall we do to obtain our wishes, and please our lovers. It being such an excellent felicity to enjoy our loves, and such a misery to lose them, as is said; this matter therefore is very requisite to be peeped into. The ordinary and usual Artificial means prescribed, and used to obtain and increase love, and to please our Minions, Mistresses, and Madams, are such as follow. Pleasant and well composed looks, Glances, Smiles, Countersmiles, plausible Gestures, pleasant carriage, and behaviour, affability, compliments, salutations, a comely gate and pace, dancing and the like, will greatly please and increase the love of some female creatures. Also time, place, opportunity, conference, importunity, & sometimes (I know that) neglect and scorn doth in some of these female kind, much increase love, for some of them are of such Imperious conditions, as they will insult over, and scorn such puny Lovers as will be pinned upon their sleeves. Hence it is, like women are compared to shadows, if we follow them, they will go from us; If we go away, they will follow us again: wherefore sometimes to neglect is better than opportunity, and whetteth Love. There be diverse love-tricks, and devices also to stir up and increase love; as tokens, favours, letters, valentines, merry meetings, and many others, All these fore named occasions, allurements, and love devices, are usually practised and even natural to lovers, and need little disquisition. I might now imagine a Wedding day, wish to all true-lovers, joy, and proceed. Yet because me thinks I see many young lovers in a deep study, very pensive and melancholy, surely the matter is, they are plodding and devising what to say to please their mistresses at their next meeting. And forasmuch, as heretofore at idle times, to recreate and please myself, I began to study the Art of discourse. I now think it not amiss (out of the same) to take a little pains, or rather a little pleasure to recreate myself (amidst more serious occasions) and give an instance only, concerning this matter of Love. SECT. V The Art of Love-discourse. Artificial discourse being added to the other love devices, if any good means, will, this may effect our desires, and to such as are already agreed, the same may be most pleasant and delightful, much increase love and add a greater joy and pleasure to all other Love-sports, devices and pleasures. We know, that even common and frivolous discourse being spoken in the way of love, will much please and take these female lovers, such as are idle Compliments, Players ends, News, tales, Love-stories, Lascivious jests, Songs, and the like, though very idle and frivolous, and though spoken and acted by some Apish gull-Pot Poet, or swaggering idle companion, so as (especially light Fantastic things, such as many women are) will be over head and ears in love. But now if some well given, fair conditioned young man (for to such I chiefly direct this discourse) shall withal add a sweet pleasing, convincing heart-striking and material discourse to his Lover, whom I will imagine to be a like virtuous and well conditioned young creature, it will be indeed sufficient to captivate sweetly, charm and overcome them, and being spoken in the way of love, and mingled with other honest pleasant love devices, to fill their hearts full of joy and pleasure, and so to enchant them as they will be joined together with an indissoluble bond of true flaming Love. For the manner and matter of our discourse, I have always thought it vanity, and lightness rather than courtesy, to discourse (according to the gallants fashion of our times) by mere compliments, congees, apish gestures, and mere finical words. To say, sweet mistress, or Madam, I honour your shoestrings, the ground you tread upon, am proud to kiss your hand, it is my ambition to be your servants servant, and the like, to present and offer not only our service, but life to the command of our mistresses, as we use to call them, though God knows we never mean to be their servants. Or, on the other side to study and talk to them high strains of wit, and figurative exornations lest they be not understood or laughed at. But in this respect a plain yet artificial moving and piercing way is best. I intent not to perscribe a set method to discourse in, for why methinks a premedicated set discourse shows something a barrenness of wit though not of judgement. And is commonly uttered with little passion or feeling (which is in some measure taken away by premeditation) and consequently not so freely, lively and with such a grace as otherwise, unless we can counterfeit (like a Player) our passions, and have wit enough to come out and in upon all occasions of discourse. On the other side, we are not strayted in this subject for want of matter to discourse on all occasions, even in an extemporeall manner, for every smile, Action, Object, Event, or speech, may afford a lover matter of sudden discourse, and indeed love of itself, if it be fervent, whets the wit and so stirs up the spirits, as we may say of lovers; As of fine wits, they can make use of any thing. But neither of this extemporeall discourse is my intention to write of, but rather a mixture of both, which I will call a habit of discourse, or; an extemporeall Method. A method not so much to discourse in, as to discourse by; in such sort as a man may be furnished with continnuall abilities of discourse in an extemporeall method (as I may say) or a sudden and well composed manner, without brainsick, light, idle, frivolous, prating on the one side, or too much pumping for wit on the other side, but with a ready yet persuasive and material discourse on all occasions. But this Art of discourse in general, concerning all matters will not easily be given to weak novices (yet the mere observation thereof even to such may do them some good concerning this matter of love) but in general, it will rather require that a man be well learned and experienced in the liberal Sciences, especially such as he shall have most occasion to discourse of. So as he may readily on all occasions dilate the matter of his discourse by the Rules and grounds of this Art, which are: By Number, Particulars, Arguments, Examples, Comparisons, Similitudes, Contrarieties, Appendances, Circumstances, and the like. I shall first give an instance in this Art of discourse very briefly concerning this matter of Love, and that only concerning the excellency thereof. And then a taste what is to be done to attain to this Art. SECT. VI An instance in this Art of Discourse concerning Love's excellency. FIrst, for instance in this Art concerning the excellency of Love, which though I have already given a taste of, I shall now speak more thereof in another manner, method, and to another purpose. For this purpose, let us imagine a man to be well skilled in this Art, that we may guess what such a man can do, and imagine this able skilful man in this Art have occasion to discourse of the excellency of Love, he can readily even Raptim, discourse thereof in diverse ways and manners, as for example. Either from the number of benefits and excellencies, flowing from thence as from a fountain, such as are sweet and pleasant thoughts, looks, smiles, kisses, discourses, songs, tales, jests, sports, embraces, dalliances, mutual kindnesses, comforts, helps, society, pleasant meetings, mirth, increase of parents, kindred, friends, riches, sweet and pretty children, & mutual enjoyments of all the blessings and pleasures that can be thought upon, and as he pleases, can apply all or any of these to his love, and when he sees occasion can sing to the same purpose. we'll sometimes sit and sweetly chat, And pretty tales and stories tell, we'll sometimes sing, and jest, and laugh In all delights we still may dwell. we'll sometimes lovingly embrace And sometimes sport and sweetly play, Yea all delights that can be thought Like truest lovers we'll enjoy. And also, he can from these felicities and benefits springing from love, conclude the excellency thereof, apply it, and if he pleases, sing— 'Tis sure a pleasant most excelling thing, From whence such, and so many joys do spring: The rarest jewels are not half so precious, The sweetest honey is not so delicious. Oh, then dear Love! let us true lovers be: That we such joys, may feel, may taste, may see. And also if he pleases, can discourse of any particular of this number, yea even of the least of them; As for example, of a kiss, telling, that the Rose, Gillyflower, Musk, Nectar, Balsam, Ambrosia, are not half so sweet as these love-dropping kisses, or in the like manner; and this he verifies on her lips, and can when he sees occasion mingle therewith pleasant songs and Poems. O that such sweet joy, Should so soon pass away and so suddenly waste, That such excellent blisses, As are thy sweet kisses, No longer should last. So sugared, so precious, So soft, so delicious. So dainty, so sweet, and so fine, As the honey from the Bee: Is not half so sweet to me, As is one sweet kiss of thine. Or, from a very thought of Love he can tell the excellency thereof, showing that even such a thought is enough to fill the heart with joy, drown all sorrow and make us think ourselves even in Paradise, to imagine what pleasures we shall enjoy hereafter. Dear, let us ever be in Love. Let still such thoughts our fancy move. And so of the like, concerning any other Particular of this number. He can further Argue, and conclude from any particular of this number, the excellency thereof, diverse ways; as for example, from the lesser to the greater. As from a thought of Love, he concludes a necessity of greater excellency, in greater matters. If but a thought of Love be such a treasure To enjoy the same is sure fare greater pleasure. Or, from particulars to the number in like manner. If from one or a few particulars of this number of excellencies, and benefits, flowing from Love, spring so much felicity; How much more, doth then proceed for them all. When such so many sweetest joys Shall all at once within us meet, Oh, how we shall be rapt therewith And filled with pleasures, extreme sweet. And likewise concerning Time, as for example, To enjoy such pleasure but one hour, or a day, were enough to possess the heart with mervellous joy, yea though that hour or day were half a year hence, yet the very imagination of it in the mean time is sufficient to possess us with sweet pleasures till then. Much more may a longer time delight us. To enjoy such pleasures but one day, It were enough to ravish even Our hearts and minds, with such sweet joy To think ourselves almost in heaven. If but one day, be such sweet joy Such rarest pleasure, such delights, What pleasures may we then possess, Perchance a thousand days and nights. Or, otherwise in diverse kinds. But to proceed. Further, he can discourse and set forth the excellency of Love, by examples; as of Seneca and Paulina, Orpheus & Euricide, Mansolus and Artimesia, Mark Antony and his Octavia, Argalus and Parthenia, and others. Histories are replenished, with examples, and can show how such Lovers think themselves, even in the Orchards of Adonis, or the Elysian fields, when they enjoy their Love, they are so taken with pleasure. If others in their Love do find Such joy, such pleasures, in their mind: Why should not we, let thee and I Enjoy such sweet felicity. Or, by comparisons, by way of Interrogation, or otherwise, did ever any Lovers enjoy such pleasures, and shall not we; Then will we sport, play, laugh, and sing, And live as merrily, as a King. Or, beyond comparisons, Chaereus never took such pleasure in his Pamphila, as thee and I will in one another; He thought none living, so happy as they two, but we may swear it of ourselves, Cupid nor Venus, jove himself. Shall never know what we may tell: What heavenly pleasures, what delights, Within thy heart, and mine may dwell. Or, by contrarieties, That the power of Love is of so great force, as the loss of it, often causeth extreme melancholy, sadness, grief, madness, and sometimes death itself, as appears by the examples, of Queen Dido, Queen Artimesia, Portia, Triara, Panthea, Medea, Parthenia, juliet, and Romeo, Pyramus, and Thisbe, Antonius, and Cleopatra, Coresus, Calirhoe, Clorus, Amintas, of Mareus Lepidus, Plantius, Numidius, and many others. It must needs be a most excellent felicity, the Loss whereof causeth such misery. If it be death, to lose a loving wife, To enjoy her then, is sure more worth than life. Or, by similitudes, diverse ways, and in every particular, as for example; The pleasure of Love, may be likened to fire, an ardent and flaming joy, to water, a fountain of pleasure. Gold, Pearls, Amber, the Rose-muske, Nectar, Ambrosia, or whatsoever is most pleasant, is not so precious, so sweet, so delightful, the Elizian-fields, or Turk's Paradise, is not more pleasant. This Nuptial Love, is often used as a Resemblance between Christ, and his Church, the Canticles, is wholly, a Lovesong to this purpose; And it is to be thought, that no humane earthly joy, represents that of heaven, more than this of true Love, though there be no comparison, between terrestrial, and Celestial happiness, either in worth or duration of time, these being as nothing, as dross in respect of the heavenly; yet in respect of our weak Apprehension, such comparisons often are, and may be made. For some do think, that Love is even, A joy Divine, a taste of heaven. Or, by the effects of Love, To instance among many, and diverse in a few; Love quickens the Spirit, and wit, and makes a man become pleasant, neat, spruce, lively, a Poet, a Musician, a dancer, a man of fine behaviour, it makes us enjoy all things in the world, with a sweeter pleasure than otherwise, for why; it possesses the heart with joy, and a joyful heart takes pleasure in all things, sweetens all our Actions, Discourses, Riches, and all pleasures; A million of joyful and blessed effects spring from Love, if we love truly. So, if we love we still, shall find, A joyful pleasure, in our mind: Whether, eat, talk, think, work or play, True Love, will turn all into joy. Or, by Additions, Appendances, and Circumstances, as for example. That Love, is more splendent, and excellent, when it is seated in its Throne, and attended with Riches, honours, and other pleasures, who seem to be Love's handmaids, who graces, and sweetens all the rest. And as a Circumstance, he can discourse almost of any thing, and set forth the excellency thereof, as by the Attendants, Riches, honours, and pleasures; by the object Women, by the Parts, and Parties affected, which are the most excellent parts of man, and commonly the bravest, noblest, and most generous men. By the Author which is, God himself; for Love, is a daughter of heaven, yea as some say, a little heaven upon earth, by which we may spy and spell Glympses of heaven, and be the more inflamed to seek and possess it, so as it seems we may enjoy two heavens. In highest joys, that can be thought, we'll sweetly pass our time away; What pleasure is in Earth, or heaven, That thee and I may not enjoy. Thus have I given a taste of Love's excellency by way of instance in this Art of discourse. But I pray remember, it is but by way of discourse, and I hope you will pardon what is amiss; for you know men will talk somewhat largely, to please their Lovers, and yet say they have given but a taste when they have done. But I proceed. SECT. VII. Showing further the use of this Art. BY which order, or Art of discourse; we may discourse of any other particular whatsoever, as for example; Of the contrary to what hath been dilated, to wit, the misery of Love's Loss. Which may even readily be dilated, and expressed by this Art, in this manner likewise. Either, by the number of miseries, the misery of each particular of that number with observations, in respect of matter, time, place, and other occasions. And each particular demonstrated by diverse examples, Reasons, Arguments, Comparisons, Contrarieties, Similitudes, Circumstances, or otherwise. And set forth by apt expressions, and particularly applied, and passionately enforced and uttered, according to the nature of the subject. In this manner also, we may discourse of any other subject upon occasion, whether of Riches, or of honour, of health, of Prudence, Temperance, fortitude, or of any virtue, of Poverty, disgrace, or sickness, of Covetousness, Ambition, Intemperance, or of any other vice, or misery; yea of Religion, and divine Matters. And in truth, there cannot be a better way of Love discoursing, than a Religious way (however, seldom practised, but rather despised, by many of the blades, and gallant Dames, of the world (aswell as the sottish, and blockish sort of people) who think and esteem all things above their fantastic, and vain humours, folly, and madness. But indeed, what better way of Love discoursing, can be, than a laudable, and pious insinuation into the mind, of such as we discourse with, whether friend or Lover, by heavenly discourses, which also may be done by some such like Art, as hath been dilated. In somuch, that if both parties, be of a divine temper, their hearts may be filled with heavenly, and glorious thoughts, but these things I know will seem folly, mystical, strange, and as very Riddles, to such whose mere natural minds are not raised to the knowledge of supernatural, and heavenly things. But such Lovers, and friends, whose minds are Elevated to a supernatural, and divine temper, their hearts can be filled with heavenly joy in such discourses, and by the eye of Contemplation, see one another in respect of their minds, like Angels, Divine creatures, and so love one another with a heavenly, aswell as earthly Love. Both which, being united, do tie their hearts together with an indissoluble knot, and fill them with sweet fountains of joy, and delight. SECT. VIII. Showing briefly, how to attain this Art of discourse. NOw to give a taste (as I said) how to attain to be a skilful Artist, in this or the like Art of discourse. Which because it may be said in general, almost in as few words, as particularly of Love, I shall endeavour very briefly, to show the same in a general way, which is: First, by often and serious meditations, to imprint into our minds, the grounds and heads thereof. As Numbers, Particulars, Observations, Arguments, Examples, Comparisons, Contrarieties, Similitudes, Circumstances, Appendances, and the like, as perfectly, as we do our A, B, C. Whereby we may as readily call to mind those grounds, as we can letters, to spell words with, which is, as fast as we can speak. Or, as in the Art of Brachygraphy, or Short-writing, we readily know, at which end, side, or place of the letter, to set the tittle, dash, or ensuing letter, whereby we know, what vowel, diphthong, or word it signifies, even as suddenly, as we can think of any thing; or as Preachers do, especially take notice and imprint into their minds, the heads, divisions, and grounds of their Sermons. Secondly, having thus imprinted the grounds in our minds, we ought to be furnished with sufficient learning, and skill, concerning the matter of our discourse. And in general, to be skilful in such Arts, and Sciences, as we shall have most occasion to discourse of, whether of Divinity, Physic, Law, Philosophy, History, Poetry, or other; so as I might instance also in this Art, concerning the Divine, the Lawyer, the Physician, the Gentleman, and divers others, aswell as the Lover, in their several ways of discoursing, and also concerning diverse usual occasions, if my skill would attain thereunto, but this Treatise will not admit thereof. That so by observation, reading, or otherwise, we may be furnished with sufficient Learning, matter, examples, and skill to this purpose, in such sort, that we may (as some ancient, and well furnished Orators, Lawyers, Physicians, and others can in their several ways) readily discourse, even Raptim, upon any Maxim, ground, or Rule in their Scicences. So then impressing the grounds of this Art in our minds, and furnishing ourselves with a ready ability, to discourse upon these grounds, is the way to attain to this Art of discourse. And although the perfection thereof be very difficult to attain unto in such a ready manner, yet even the mere observation or reading thereof, may lend us some light, and in this matter of Love be an occasion of increasing the same, and possessing ourselves and Lovers with most pleasing joys, and delights, (unless we have to do with some brainsick, foolish, Fantastic, light things, better lost then found,) and consequently dispossess the young melancholy Lover of that pensive humour, fearing not to enjoy, or please his Love. Thus much concerning the Art of Discourse. SECT. IX. Containing answers to some objections. ANd now me thinks I cannot but imagine, that some too severe Cato Churlish Timon, or Carping Momus, will esteem this Love-discourse, too light and wanton. And I know there be many in our times, so Stoical, and Rigid, as they will scarce allow moderate and lawful Recreations, (for this discourse was chief written, for mere recreation amidst more serious occasions, and so I desire it may be read.) And they esteem honest, and harmless Love sports, pleasures, and discourses (though in the way of marriage) profaneness. But we may know that it is good and commendable, for such as do, or intent to live in that honourable and blessed estate of marriage, to be possessed with conjugal Love, and consequently such honest love discourses, devices, and pleasures, as increase the same, are to be esteemed good and commendable. And I conceive, that no well conditioned happy man, none but envious, malicious, malcontented Spirits, will hinder, dislike, or grudge True-lovers of such honest, and harmless Love delights, and pleasures. And I am not so Cynical, but that I think a modest expression, of such amorous conceits, as suit with reason, being free from obscaenity, will yet very well become my years, in which not to have some feeling of Love, were as great an Argument of much stupidity, as an oversottish affection, were of extreme folly. But what need I excuse myself in this, when 'tis well known that many whole volumes, have been written of Love, and that diverse famous and worthy Philosophers, Physicians, Historians, Poets, and others, have written as lightly, and more wantonly, than I have done of this subject. But saith my Grandsire, it seems to me, that such vain Love discourses, are unnecessary, and of little persuasion. Yet if we think of the Parties, to whom these things are spoken, that is, to female creatures, and to Lovers; Such things as are a great deal more youthful, vain, wanton, and not of such a serious, and solid substance, as my Grandsire is; we shall know that such discourse are most apt and pleasing, and much more persuasive, than other more grave and solid. And we know that these female Lovers, esteem every word of their Sweethearts discourse (though peradventure but slight matter, as if it were spoke) like, an Angel, and if withal such Artificial discourses, such pleasant Heart-striking Reasons, be mixed, it is even sufficient to enchant, and inflame a Saint with Love, and joy.. In so much, I know that if there be a reasonable sympathy, between the Parties in Age, degree, fortunes, Countenance, Constitution, and Conditions, and a willing consent of Parents, and friends at first, (though afterward great and strange opposition should happen in many respects) it would be a marvelous hard matter (if not impossible) to part and disunite their Love. And that sometimes even such great opposition, quickens and increases such true Love and joy, which often flames the more, when it is blown against and stirred up. And then such Love and joy after crosses are past, is most pleasant indeed. If such discourses then, be of such strong effect and operation as to join hearts in true Love, and increase joy, notwithstanding many crosses, and great opposition, much more is it when those are past, when both parties, and their friends are well pleased, when all their thoughts are composed of kindness, Love, and joy.. Medea's ointment, Helenaes' bowl, Circe's cup, Phaedra's Ring, or Venus' girdle, cannot so enchant a man, so sweetly move and please his mind, as such discourses will a female Lover. SECT. X. Containing Remedies, against the Loss of Love. But now here comes a question, what is to be done if we lose our beloved. Indeed, many Lovers for want of enjoying their wishes in this kind, become extreme melancholy and sorrowful, and some betake themselves to ill courses, as whoring, and Taverne-haunting, and sometimes spoil themselves. But indeed it is a madness for a man to grieve, melancholize and run into dissolute courses; because he cannot obtain his desires in this kind, perhaps some unworthy creature; For if he have not placed his Love too high above his deserts, or too unequally and unfitly, and if he have used good means to gain her, if this will not, he may justly think that she is some light fantastic thing, not worth his Heroical, and Noble thoughts. A wise man, will not Love a mere Corpse, or which is worse. A body with an ill soul in it. Some Remedies usually perscribed against this malady the loss of Love, are; To withstand beginnings, to avoid all occasions, as the company of the party beloved, discourse with her, sight of her, place where she lives, and the like. Or, to go to some other Mistress of better fortunes, birth and degree, if it may be, or if such cannot be attained, yet let us know. That of all necessary evils (such as men say wives are) any may serve for necessity, and because they are Evils, perhaps 'tis better to have none at all. Though we Bachelors perhaps think wives fine things, yet such as have tried, will tell us otherwise, as that there are many Thorns amidst the Roses of marriage, which hinder the pleasures thereof, and cause much sorrow. That married men's shoes wring them, but we know not where. That many of there foreheads are forked and we are blind. That the Love of the body is at the height, and will fall when once it hath gotten admittance into those hidden and worst parts thereof. And that so it is of the mind; Though our Lovers show us their best conditions forward, yet when those hidden and worst parts of the soul which they dare not show the world, are bare and detected. 'Tis like we shall find them much worse than we expected. So may we observe by the carriage of most men after they are married; They are commonly more sullen, dull, sad, and pensive then before. Many of them love not their wives, Nor perhaps have they any great occasion, for as much as we see many of them prove sluts, Scolds, idle, infirm, Proud, jealous, Scornful, Arrogant, and so imperious not to be endured, light, peevish, froward, sad, lumpnish, prodigal, discontented. And yet these men when they were Bachelors, thought these pieces fine things, and imagined a Paradise in gaining them, and many husbands also ('tis true) are as bad or worse than their wives, insomuch as many married people live a very miserable life; scolding, brawling, grieving, and always discontented. We may read in diverse Philosophers and other Authors, of many wise and witty speeches and opinions against marriage, and they tell us many tales and stories to this purpose; Some sad, and some merry ones. They are very common, and for brevity I omit them. Some men are Cornuted and father Children which are none of their own; Their Children prove undutiful, disobedient, and prodigal servants, stout and careless. A multitude of hindrances, charges, cares, crosses, and annoyances are incident to married people; what wise men would marry. Besides, I might to this purpose, tell how happily we Bachelors live without wives; How freely, securely, merrily, pleasantly, and without control. Saint Paul, prefers a single life before marriage, and I hope you will believe him. Yea but saith the married man you had better marry and live honest. To answer this Cavil. It is observed, that Bachelors are as honest as married men; for many of them are seldom content with their own wives, which is a greater shame and evil in them. But to let that pass, Bachelors can live honest without marrying, Such as are of a very unruly temper may use a moderate spare cool, and dry kind of diet, and other Physical Remedies, to allay the fire of Lust. They can fast, pray, be always busy about some good occasions and thinking on good matters. But the most excellent Remedy is, Divine Contemplation; for certainly those Spirits which are truly raised to the knowledge of divine things, and do well know the Art of heavenly Contemplation, are elevated above all the pleasures of the earth; in as much as Eternity is above time, and infinite felicities above vanities. And not being able to find any thing on the Earth worthy of their desires, They do set out their pleasures and their felicities in the Empyrean heaven. So as they do in part, taste before hand of the sweetness of those pleasures which they pretend to receive at the end of their life, which makes them very graciously to tread under foot all the pleasures of the Earth, while their souls are in such contemplations, directing their Aims to heaven. And while they are in these divine Ecstasies, their Spirits are so strong, as they do overcome their bodies, so heavenly, as they do then esteem the chiefest pleasures of the body (as this of carnal desire and love) but as dung and dross in comparison of those more heavenly pleasures which they enjoy in their souls. And in such comparison they rejoice more in Contemning these bodily pleasures and in being above them, then in enjoying them. What need we care for farthings who may have gold enough. But as St. Paul signifies; Marriage hinders this heavenly pleasure; He that is married, saith he, careth for the things that are of the world how he may please his wife. And certainly there be many married men in the world, if they did but truly know the Excellency of such a contemplative heavenly life, and and did seriously consider how freely and joyfully we Bachelors may life; They would even run through fire and water to be so happy. But now least married men should be too much displeased, let them know or think; That we Bachelors when we speak against married men, mean only of unfit and ill marriages. Such as that of Spungius and Philtra; They would swear, curse, quarrel, fight, etc. Let such be always scoffed at and remain miserable, till they mend their manners. And least Bachelors should be too averse from marriage. And such as lose their first Love, should forbear a second choice which always drowns the Love of the former in oblivion, and is the best remedy against Love's loss, for here they may find it again in another. Let us still say, as Saint Paul saith; That marriage is honourable in all men, and that it is good to marry, though for such as can contain themselves better to live single. And that a Consonant, Equal, and fit maariage, when both parties be loving, kind, wise, constant, and of good conditions, is a Terrestrial Paradise; and from thence (as hath been dilated) proceedeth a marvelous deal of happy and blessed effects. SECT. XI. Remedies against an oversottish and doting Love. HAving formerly viewed, and seeing the excellency of Lawful Love, and the many sweet and blessed effects springing from thence. Let us take heed that we do not (as many men in the world have done) plunge ourselves beyond the bound-markes of Reason and discretion, into an oversottish and doting affection. Many (other wise famous and wise) men, as Samson, David, Solomon, Hercules, Socrates, and many others. Have not unjustly been taxed of folly and indiscretion in this matter. And the Poets fain, that jupiter himself was turned into a Golden shower, A Bull, A Swan, A Satire, A Shepherd, and committed many gross dotages for Love. For Remedies whereof, and to the intent that we may be contented if we cannot enjoy our wishes. And that if we do Enjoy our Love and desires, the same may not hinder us from seeking and enjoying Divine beauty and pleasures, which are infinitely better. Let us also view the vanity and insufficiency of this Externall Loveliness and beauty which is the object of our Love in this kind. It is altogether vain and uncertain; Sickness, care, grief; The scratch of a Pin; The Sun, or any thing may deface it. It ofttimes proves dangerous, makes us forget God, bereaves us of grace, and of divine pleasures. And is many times an occasion of unlawful Lusts, and the miseries thereof. And many men by reason hereof, in spite of friends, parents, credit and fortunes, have been wilfully and foolishly carried away to shame, disgrace & misery. So that immoderate oversottish Love, is no more a virtuous habit, but a vehement passion and perturbation of the mind. A Monster of nature, a destroyer of wit and Art. This external Loveliness and beauty, sometimes bereaves us of all manliness of Spirit, dejects our otherwise Nobler thoughts to vanities and toys. Insomuch that hereby we are sometimes ready to become foolish, doting, weak, brainsick, Inamoratoes, and sometimes to fall in Love even with painted vanities, mere outside Creatures, Things Empty of virtue and grace, And composed of Pride, Vanity and wickedness. If we Love such as have no other beauties but their bodies, what do we but love as irrational creatures do; Reason tell us, we love that which a Pin may alter. That which is subject to above 300 several diseases, That which is all loathsome within, And that which shall be nothing hereafter but putrified and Rotten Corruption. And yet many of us forsooth, are no wiser than to fall in Love with such creatures of mere vanity and corruption, quite depriving ourselves of Reason, comparing their eyes to Stars, thinking them the only wonders of the world, and telling them they are like Angels, divine creatures, And what is most excellent, and so even Idolatrise to these creatures of earth and vanity. You Courtiers and others, who think it a trim piece of glory to get a Mistress, and a Lady's favour forsooth, you who esteem and call your Minions, Goddesses and divine creatures; And would like Adam give Paradise if you had it for an Apple, and venture heaven to satisfy your base and unlawful Lusts, you that adore these victim, and think yourselves most happy when you can tempt the Pudicity of these female creatures and overcome them to your Lusts, what do you but act the Devils Stratagems which he teaches you, what do you enjoy and adore but a Crust of Plaster full of corruption, a piece of flesh that must Rot and turn to Putrefaction. What a thing is this; A piece of Clay quickened with life adores a Snowy dunghill. There shall come a time when the Crust of your pleasures shall be broken, and you shall see what misery lies within; think what faces you shall make at the day of judgement, unless you repent and amend. Where is now the fair Helena, Cleopatra, Arethusa, Hero, Lucretia, Roxane, Panthea, Leucippe, Ariadne, Polixena, Lesbian, Rosamond; And the rest of those admired Pieces whom the world hath seemed to adore, where is now their Beauty and glory. They are dead, and become a sink of Corruption, and so ghastly, as we should be afraid to see them. Think now you proud Dames, what mettle you are made of, and let it give a check to your Pride. Flatter not yourselves before your glass, you Mistresses and Madams of the world, I mean you, who are Empty of Virtue and Grace, and full of Pride and wickedness: You, that take a pride to charm Spirits, and bereave them of reason and grace; You, that study each day new lessons of Vanity, Pride, and niceness, to wound hearts, whereby you undo Souls: your body is just of the same temper with the shadow which you see in your Glass. You are indeed nothing. And if you will, that I say you are something; You are a mere dunghill covered with Snow; A sink of Infection, environed with Flowers; A rich Coffer, full of loathsomeness; You are the frailest and most changeable things in the world. I dare hardly eye you any longer, for fear while I look upon you, you vanish from mine eyes, since you are ready to change and to dye every hour. Me thinks I could even laugh at your Vanities, and mock at those that admire you so. I could willingly turn back and tear those Love-discourses out of my Book in contempt of your Vanities, were it not for their sakes, who are indeed True-lovers. But for such Lovers sakes, truly; who are not possessed with this oversottish and doting affection on the one side; Nor with a stupid, blockish, or peevish Love on the other side: Such as are indeed virtuous, discreet, modest, Loving, constant, of sweet and gracious Conditions; I could wish, that I were able to invent such sweet and pleasant Love-straines as might continually fill there hearts, with as much joy and delight in each other, as can be thought of. Let us then endeavour to be such true Lovers; and to all such (as to ourselves) Let us wish all joy and happiness. SECT. XII. Remedies against unlawful Lusts. LEt us also (while we view the excellency of Lawful and true Love) beware of unlawful and Raging Lusts. There is well nigh as much difference between true Love and unlawful Lusts, as between heaven and hell. For Nuptial Love is lawful, honourable, & blessed, ordained of God in Paradise; A Remedy against fornication, adultery, and all unlawful Lusts. And from which as hath been declared, springeth a million of blessed and joyful effects. But all unlawful Lusts and the effects thereof; as fornications, Adultery, Incests, and the like, are Cursed, and often forbidden and threatened against in Gods sacred word, as all men acquainted therewith, do well know; And from thence proceedeth a multitude of evil and miserable effects. Let us therefore briefly view the miseries of such unlawful Lusts. The consideration whereof may be Remedies sufficient to slight our irregular desires from the same. Though these Lusts be pleasant at first, yet the end is as better as Wormwood, as that wise King saith, Prov. 5.4. The way to death and hell, verse, 5. To the body, it often causeth loathsome diseases, as Pox, Gout, Sciatica, Aches, Convultions, and diverse others; It usually causeth dulness, weakness, and shortens life. Many men consume their estates thereby, in feasts, banquets, Revelling, pride, and gifts, thinking thereby to seem magnificent and please their Minions. Lust's hath been an occasion of much jealousies, strife, dissension, disturbance, and subversion of multitudes of persons, families, Towns, and Kingdoms, It was an occasion of the destruction of the old world, of Sodom, of Ghomorra, The Sychemites, of Troy, Persepolis. Of Spain in the Reign of King Roderick, and many others. It hath been the Rain of strong men, as Samson, wise, as Solomon, Priests, as Holies Sons, Elders, as in the story of Susanna, Histories are full of examples in in this kind; As of Caracalla the Emperor, Childericus the first of that name King of France, Teundezillus King of Spain, Redoaldus King of Lombardy, Mulleasses King of Thunis, Abusahid King of Fez, and his six Sons. Of Tarquin, Antonius, Cleopatra, Appius Claudius, Alexander Medici's Duke of Florence, Galleatius Duke of Milan, Peter Lewes Duke of Placentia, jone Queen of Naples, Fredegundus and Brunhaldus of France, & others innumerable. From this root of unlawful Lusts, springeth also to the Soul of man a multitude of evils and miseries; as Fornications, Adulteries, Incests; and sometimes Rapes, breach of Vows, and treacheries are occasioned hereby, whereof Histories are replenished with Examples. Cares, fears, jealousies, pains, perplexities, Enmities, Contentions, extreme sorrow, heartburning, sadness, dulness, and sometimes fiery dotage and madness, proceed from this Fountain. Shame and Repentance is certainly the end thereof, or worse; Despair, and eternal misery, without Reconciliation to God through CHRIST our Saviour. The consideration of all these miseries, may make us for ever hate, and endeavour to avoid such, unlawful Lusts. Other Remedies usually perscribed against the same, are; A moderate, cool, dry, and sparing diet, fasting, Prayer, Continual Action, in some good business & employments, and to be always thinking of other good matters. But the best and most usual Remedy for such as are of an unruly temper, is marriage and Nuptial Love. Let therefore married men, endeavour to Love their wifes as much as they can, and let Bachelors if they may, Marry such as from their hearts they can truly Love. For true Lovers (as I conceive) may take more pleasure in the Enjoying of one another, then if they might possess the Love & society of as many Minions and beauties as they can desire in the world; For why, diversity of Loves (as in objects to the sight) hinder, entire and true pleasure in any. And we know, that one dainty dish most pleasing to our palate, is more delightful than abundance which cloys our eyes and stomach. SECT. XIII. Remedies against Discontents after marriage, But now if we should mistake ourselves (as many men do) who think they take an Angel by the hand at their marriage day in the Church, but after find that they have a Scorpion in their house, and in their beds; some scolding, brawling, ill conditioned woman, for King Solomon saith, An evil woman is like a Scorpion, yet let us be contented. Let us be as wise as we may, and consider women's weaknesses and infirmities; That if perhaps men had their bodies, they would be as frail and as passionate as women; And if Women were freed from the frailty of their sex, they would be as manly and as excellent as men. And though Women have diverse natural infirmities both of body and mind, yet a wise man will not love his wife a jot the worse, because he knows they are natural. But few Women are Angels, and he that would have a Woman without passions, must marry when the Sign is not in Coelo. And for this scolding malady, this is a good Remedy; To be silent and not regard her, or else to laugh at her. But let us see if the fault be not in ourselves. The reason why many Women are so bad, is; because they have ill Husbands, if so, let us mend. Happy are we, if our Wives be an occasion of our being good, though they be never so bad. And sometimes, a good man may chance to make a good wife of an ill one. It is also fit, that Men should use their Wives well, and maintain them in good fashion according to their means, and to let them have such reasonable and convenient Liberty and authority, as it is fit a wife (who is a man's second self) should have and enjoy. For want of this, many women being too straight kept under, and unkindly and Churlishly used; are even forced to fly out beyond Reason, and to become Froward, Contentious, jealous, discontented; And some, to turn Queans by Compulsion. Too much liberty and Authority on the other side, is not fit to be allowed them; especially to such kind of women, as love not their own houses, but by reason of much gadding abroad, learn more tricks than be good, who are then only pleasant and contented. And at home nothing but brawl, and are there commonly sullen, froward, peevish, discontented, and of idle lewd conditions. Let therefore, both men and women endeavour to avoid all occasions of strife, and discontent, as much as they may; And such as cannot be avoided, to Contemn or Dissemble, and make the best thereof. And to endeavour in all respects, to live lovingly, familiarly, and pleasantly, in such sort as becomes them. Saint Paul, and Saint Peter, give excellent directions, to this purpose. So ought men to love their Wives, (saith Saint Paul) as their own bodies, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord his Church, Eph. 5.25. And again, ye men Love your wives, and be not bitter to them. Colossians. 3.19. And to women, he saith; Wives submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord; For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church. Eph. 5.22. Saint Peter also giveth directions to this purpose, in his 1. Epistle, and 3 Chapter. I will write them at large, for they are most excellent; He begins with Wives, and is longest about them, they having as it seems, most need of instruction. Ye wives (saith he) be in subjection to your husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the Conversation of their wives, while they behold their conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning, let it not be that outward Adorning of plaiting the Hair, or of wearing and putting on gorgeous Apparel. But let it be of the Heart, in that, which is not Corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet Spirit, which is in the sight of GOD, of great price. For after this manner in the old time, the holy Women also who trusted in GOD adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own Husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose Daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and not being dismayed with fear. Likewise, Ye husbands (saith he) dwell with your Wives according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel; and as being heirs together of the grace of Life, that your Prayers may not be hindered. Finally, be ye of one mind, having Compassion one of another, being pitiful, courteous; Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing, but contrariwise, blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye may inherit a blessing. Thus much (saith St. Peter) 1 Ephes. 3 Chapter, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 verses. So then, let Men and their Wives in all respects, Endeavour to live together as they ought, according to such Divine direction. Let them always be as Loving, kind, pleasant, and as familiar as may be, and mutually enjoy together all the blessings and benefits, belonging to this Nuptial Love and Society. And especially, let them be Pious and Religious. Then, though their Beauty and Bodies should decay and become infirm, yet their very Souls may be in Love with one another, which is fare more excellent than bodily Love. So while they view one another as divine and Celestial creatures, as the beloved of God himself, their Loves may still kindle and increase, until both they and it ascend to that firmament of fire, where Love (all divine and heavenly) flames beyond imagination, and lasts for ever. SECT. XIIII. A brief persuasion to Marriage. I Shall now endeavour briefly, to persuade such, as may conveniently (though a single Life, be otherwise to be preferred before it) to this honourable and blessed estate of Marriage. It hath always been confessed by all reasonable men; That a consonant Marriage (such as when both parties be equally matched in respect of Years, Birth, Constitution, and Fortunes; and of loving, kind, wise, constant, and good Conditions,) is an earthly Paradise of happiness. And no man can justly blame such Marriages, unto which; All laws, both Divine and Humane exhort us, Nature provoketh us, Honesty draweth us. All Nations approve thereof, necessity of Continuing our kind, constraineth us, and abundance of felicity inviteth us thereunto. And St. Paul saith, It is the Doctrine of Devils to forbid Marriage. The best and most learned Philosophers, have praised and used the same: As Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Seneca, Plutarch, and others. And though a Contemplative divine Spirit, can overcome Nature, and contemn the greatest earthly pleasure, in Comparison of heavenly delights, and take great pleasure in such Contempt; Yet all men have not this divine Grace of Continency. And looking downwards again, we may consider, that we have Bodies as well as Souls, which require due and convenient Recreations. And though (as St. Paul well observed) Marriage hindereth a heavenly Contemplative life; in respect of Care, and other disturbances; yet for all these forenamed considerations, and many other. It is good to marry, though better to live single, if we burn not; and if we have divine Grace enough to be Continent. And this Nuptial society being honourable, blessed, and ordained of God, for avoiding of unlawful lusts, for the preservation of Mankind, and for mutual help, comfort and pleasure, in one another. It cannot be denied, but it is good to marry; especially, when such marry whose bodies & minds do Sympathise, and both are of Loving and good conditions. From such a Marriage (as hath been dilated) springeth a Terrestrial Paradise of pleasures and happiness. To conclude then; Let us wish all joy to such happy Lovers. Let the Grace's dance, and the Muses sing at their Wedding. And let all pleasantness, love and joy, dwell for ever in their hearts. And as their years, so may their Love and joys increase. That in aftertimes they may say: This is the twentieth or thirtieth year of our joy.. Let them always be familiar and kind to one another; So to ourselves when we are married, and to all married men, let us wish all prosperity. And let us all take King Solomon's counsel, Prov. 5.17. Rejoice in the wife of thy youth, let her be unto thee as the loving Hind and pleasant Roe, and Rejoice in her Love continually. SECT. XV. Of the good use of this Nuptial Love, and so concluding with a brief discourse of Divine Love. TO conclude then with the good use of this Nuptial Love. If God please to give us any blessings in this kind, let us use them well, Enjoy them and be thankful. He that useth these external felicities of the world, such as this of Nuptial Love, to the glory of God, and to good ends, with moderate delectation, is better to be reputed, than he that unduly, Inconsiderately, Rashly, Inconveniently, and Suspiciously (as some Monks and others do) neglects, and refuseth so great a good, which God freely offers to our acceptance. These external pleasures and blessings of the world, may serve to many excellent uses, stirring us up to all duties of piety, to the Love of God, to thankfulness, and joy in him. Let us then enjoy God in all things. And all things in him, and to his glory. The Principal good use of this Love and the felicities thereof, which I shall now insist upon, is; That by viewing and enjoying such pleasures and felicities of the Earth, we may look higher to their Fountain; Contemplating the Love, Loveliness, Beauty, Sweetness, and Excellency of the Creator, who is infinitely more excelling. And so conclude, with a brief Discourse of Divine Love. True it is, that all other Excellencies, are but dung and dross in respect of GOD; yet by and through these lower delights and felicities of the Earth; These little glimpsing Rays, proceeding from that Sun of Glory: we may spy some light of that Sun, GOD himself, and of that Eternal felicity, which we pretend hereafter to possess. And so in some measure, spell and spy Heaven from the Earth. Neither ought we to disdain, to make Comparisons between Corporeal and Spiritual things; between Earthly and Heavenly; Though in respect of the Excellency of the Spiritual and Heavenly, there is no comparison; Yet (as Children have need at first, to be alured to the acquist of Great and Excellent matters, by such toys and trifles as they apprehend; so) in respect of our weak apprehension, such Comparisons and Similitudes, are, and aught to be used, in a convenient manner. So, as we may make, a very good use of Earthly felicities in this respect, (as men do of Spectacles;) for by, and through these, our dim Eyes may see the clearer into heavenly Excellencies. And consequently, be the more enamoured of them, and so stirred up to seek and enjoy them. And in this respect of Nuptiall-Love, the sacred Scripture gives us many and fair Examples. As in Hosea: I will return unto my first Love, for it was then better with me than it is now. Hos. 2.7. And in diverse places, CHRIST and his Church, are compared to Lovers, betrothed, and to be married together. The Church, is called the Bride, the Lamps wife. Rev. 21.9. And the end of the world, is called their marriage day. Rev. 19.7. Saint john Baptist calleth Christ, the Bridegroom, and his Church the Bride, john. 3.29. And Christ calleth himself the bridegroom, Mark. 3. That Song of Songs between two Lovers betrothed each to others. Is by the consent of all Divines, a most pleasant Lovesong, between Christ and his Church. What remains then, but that we seek for, and enjoy that fountain of all Love, loveliness, beauty, sweetness, and excellency, which is infinitely more permanent and Excellent, than all the other beauties and excellencies of the world, if they were all united together. If we could truly think, what God is, how beautiful, lovely, glorious, and in all respects most Excellent; Our hearts would presently be filled with Love and Admiration of him; insomuch, as than we should settle our dearest and noblest thoughts wholly upon him, and in his Love we should be filled with sweetest flames of joy and pleasures. One thing have I desired, saith King David, and I will still desire, to behold the beauty of the Lord. His beauty, infinitely excels the beauty of the heavens, Sun, Moon, Stars, Angels, or what is most excellent. If there be such beauty, loveliness, and pleasure in a Creature. As that it hath such power to draw near unto the eyes, Ears, and affections of such as behold and consider it, how much more beautiful and lovely is God himself, the Creator and the fountain from which all other Excellency's spring. How should this divine beauty of God, attract our desires, and inflame us with Love and joy.. If we so much endeavour, and be so much affected with the Comeliness of Creatures, how should we be Rapt at the Admirable Lustre of God himself. He offers his Love most freely, to such as will accept the same; Wisdom cries out in the streets etc. Prov. 8. He invites us to come into his fair garden, to eat, drink, with them to be merry, and to enjoy his presence for ever, Cant, 5. But, we must then lay aside all vain objects of the world; All mucky Covetousness, All airy Ambition. All vain sensual Lusts. Our desires must not creep on the Earth, we must purify our hearts, deny ourselves, and look above ourselves, If we will have a clear vision of God: A flaming Love, and soul-ravishing delights in him. Let us then endeavour to lay aside all Earthly thoughts, when we intent to view this sight; To enjoy this Love, this pleasure. Let us by Contemplation which is the best optic, view heaven, see and grow into acquaintance with God. Being acquainted, let us proceed further, and endeavour to be more familiar with him; To deny ourselves, and go out of ourselves, to live above ourselves with him. Let us pour forth our souls into God, and In-soule ourselves into him, so as his Divine Love and joy, yea himself may wholly possess us. When a Soul is once thus possessed with the beauty and Love of God, it will be often thinking of him, often mounting up to heaven, and as a vapour exhaled by the Sun, often gliding after its Love, being thereunto attracted by the allurements of his most Amiable, fair, and Divine beauty, and Loveliness. Insomuch, as it will be enlightened with glorious thoughts, towering apprehensions, Ardent affections, and heavenly joys. Further, when the soul considers the infinite Love of God to it. As that this infinite glorious God, should send his only Son, a part of himself, to redeem and glorify us. That this part of himself, This very God, our Saviour, jesus Christ, should unveil himself of all his glory, come to live on Earth, and suffer so much; such a Death for such miserable wretches as we are, when we were his enemies; to deliver us from Death, Hell, and all misery, and to merit for us, Heaven and all felicity, why then it is even overcome (and with Saint Ignatius, even weeps) with Love and joy, to think that his love was crucified for him. Lord teach us a language wholly divine to thank thee for such Love. See, what a virtue is in the passion of our Saviour, that if our souls in Contemplation of his wounds, should ressent the smart, yet knowing that he suffered all this most willingly to make us happy. It is enough to make us even swoon with joy and Love, and be ecstasied with a thousand sorts of pleasures. Insomuch as we should willingly dye of Love, and joy for his sake. Moreover, when the Soul thinks how her Saviour loves her, it is enough to fill her with sweetest joy and pleasure. O! how she is inflamed with Love, when she contemplates those sweet words of her beloved, calling her his sister, his spouse, his Love, his Dove, his undefiled. And saying, thou art all fair my Love, there is no spot in thee; Thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes etc. Cant. 4. And my beloved, is the fairest among Women, the chiefest among ten thousand, Looking forth as the morning, fair; as the Moon, pure; as the Sun, etc. Cant. 5. That she is a King's daughter; As a Queen in a vesture of Gold, of Ophir, embroidered Raiment of Needle work, that the King might take pleasure in her Beauty, Psal. 45. O! how the sweet harmonious accents of these words do ravish the Spirits, and powerfully attract the hearts of all those unto him, that are able truly but to hear the Echo of them, and to perceive the sweetness thereof; Insomuch, that they are ready to borrow wings on all sides, & to fly out of themselves, that they may be wholly possessed with the Love and joy of their Saviour. Let us then feelingly speak to our Beloved, in the same language which he speaks to us; Then which indeed can be no better, no sweeter. Come then my Beloved, Kiss me with the kisses of thy mouth, for thy Love is better than Wine; Draw me and I will run after thee: Show me, O thou whom my Soul loveth, where thou feedest and where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon. Cant. 1▪ 2, 4, 7. Stay me with thy flagons, and comfort me with apples, for I am sick o● Love. Cant, 2.5. Come my beloved, let us go forth into the fields, let us lodge in the Villages, Let us get up early to the Vineyards, let us see if the Vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranate bud forth. There will I give thee my Love. Cant. 7.11.12. Set me as a seal of thine heart, and as a signet on thine Arm; For Love is as strong as death. It is as a fire, a vehement flame, many waters cannot quench Love, and the floods cannot drown it, etc. Cant. 8.6.7. I am persuaded, saith Saint Paul; That neither life nor death, nor Angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the Love of God which is in Christ, Rom. 8.38. True Love suffers not for the Subject which it Loves, It hath a power in it to change the nature of things. From the time that a Soul is chastely taken with this passion even the pains and torments thereof are changing the name and quality within the Heart. They are Roses rather than Thornes: For if it sigh, it is of joy and not of pain, if it be necessary to dye for the glory of this Lovely cause of its life, It is no death to it, but a mere Rapt of Contentment, which severs itself from itself, in Love of another self, whom it Loves more than itself. So that, if we were truly capable of the Love, Beauty, Glory, and excellency of our Saviour; Though with Saint Laurence, we should broil upon Devouring flames; Yet our hearts which would burn more hot with the fire of his Love, then that of our punishment, would quite extinguish the same; for our hearts being all aflame already, and our souls afire, how could we expire amidst those heats, though our bodies were burned to ashes, since the stronger must needs prevail. Insomuch, as we should feel the delights of Heaven in the fire, whereof we should make ourselves a Crown of glory. Though we cannot attain to such an height of Love and joy, yet let us endeavour to love as much as we can; For GOD, who always accepteth the will for the deed, will lovingly accept of our good wishes and Endeavours. And his Power is made perfect in our Infirmities; as St. Paul saith. And the more to inflame our love to GOD. Many gracious and glorious Promises are registered in his Divine word, to such as Love him. I shall only mention and Conclude, with that of Saint PAUL, 1 Corinth, 2.9. Eye hath not seen, nor Ear heard, neither hath it entered into the Heart of man, those things which GOD hath prepared for them that Love him. Think than you Spirits of the world, what Felicity this is; We know the Eye hath seen most Beautiful, Lovely and glorious things: The Ear hath heard rare Consorts of Music and voices. What sweet joy and pleasure, hath the Heart of man imagined of the Orchards of Adonis; The Gardens of Hesperides; The Delights of the fortunate Islands. Of the Elysian Fields, and Turks Paradise. But let Humane imagination think of all these at once, and assemble in one Subject whatsoever is most Beautiful and delicious in Nature. Let them imagine a Choir of Sirens, and let them join thereto in Consort, both the Harp of Orpheus, and the voice of Amphion. Let Apollo and the Muses, be there to bear a Part: And let them search within the Power of Nature, all the extreme Pleasures which it hath produced in the world hitherto, to charm our Senses, and to ravish our Spirits; Yet all these are but mere Chimeras, and as a vain Idea; A mere Shadow of a body of pleasure, in Comparison of those Divine thoughts and pleasures, which the Saints may and shall enjoy, in the Contemplation of GOD and his infinite Beauty, Glory, Love, and of the Felicities which he hath prepared for them that Love him. Their thoughts and Contemplations even in this life may be Composed, of mutterably Glories, Crowns, Kingdoms, Divine visions. Heavenly exultations of Spirit, and of extreme joys, pleasures, and felicities; It is impossible to express the pleasures of a heavenly Soul. The Contentments thereof are not to be so called; Its sweetness hath another name; Its Ecstasies and Ravishments cannot be uttered. Saint Paul himself, could not express the same. He could not tell, whether he were in his body or no; Insomuch, as the heart that feels them cannot comprehend them. Truly therefore, doth Saint Paul say; That such pleasures have not entered into the heart of man. This seems to be a Riddle, Not Entered into the heart of man, how can man enjoy it then; Indeed, he must be above a natural Man. Above himself that enjoys such pleasures. He must be Partaker of the Divine nature, of a Superhumane and Heavenly temper. All Grace is above nature, And if (by reason of our frailties and infirmities) we cannot attain to such a height of Love to, and joy in God, in this life; yet if we endeavour truly, for this grace to Love and serve him, (who always accepts our true Endeavours and desires, and perfects our weakness by his power) There shall come a time, when, we shall see GOD as he is, know him as we are known, Love him beyond expression, and enjoy in him infinite pleasures and felicities for ever. And then we shall be made like him as Saint john saith. 1. john. 3.2, In such sort, as fire by uniting itself to iron, by an exceeding and extreme heat doth purify the iron and convert the same into fire. In like manner (but above all degrees of Comparison) doth GOD purify and reduce us to a being supernatural and deified, unites and takes the soul into his own divine nature. And this fire which shall so unite us to God is divine Love; For as God is a consuming fire to his Enemies. So is he a fire of Love to his friends. And then we shall have a new being, and a new Name; That is, of our Spouse, of our Beloved, of GOD himself; For, hereby the Soul becomes a Part of GOD, and with him and in him, enjoys all Happiness; So, as now it may be said, to be no more a Soul but GOD himself. To conclude; Let us then fervently wish and long for this time, which shall be at the Marriage of the King's Son, to which the Angels shall invite us. Then shall we Celebrate an Everlasting wedding Feast; yea, our Souls shall be the Bride, and Love shall be the Banner over us. And then shall we possess and enjoy infinite pleasures and felicities, for ever. FINIS. Jmprimatur, THO: WYKES. Decemb: 7. 1637.