The Defence of Contraries. Paradoxes against common opinion, debated in form of declamations in place of public censure: only to exercise young wits in difficult matters. Wherein is no offence to God's honour, the estate of Princes, or private men's honest actions: but pleasant recreation to beguile the iniquity of time.  
Translated out of French by A. M. one of the Messengers of her majesties Chamber.  Patere aut abstine. 
Imprinted at London by john Winde● for Simon Waterson. 1593.   

To the King.  
SIr, after you had heard the censures of divers learned Gentlemen, on the several Paradoxes which you pleased to propound, and were therein (as I imagined) fully satisfied: yet you would needs make trial of my mean judgement in such matters, and thereupon commanded me to set down mine opinion. How simple soever they be, done they are, and now in all humbleness presented to your Majesty: who doubtless will allow them gracious countenance, because it was a task imposed by yourself, and beside, requireth labour and good wit to defend such contraries. Let no man think then, that I or any other would be so senseless, as to hold directly any of these vain reasons: but what (for arguments sake) may be said, that set I down, and no otherwise. Your Highness knows, that the simplest conceit can maintain: It is better to be rich, then poor: better for a Woman to be fair then foul: better for a man to be wise, than a fool, etc. But to defend the contraries to these, so far as modesty and reason will allow, deserveth no hard conjecture among the learned, because they are only but exercise of wit, to make proof of a man's ability in such difficult occasions. Cornelius Agrippa deserved good report for his Vanitas Scientiarum, and I hope to pass the pikes with my Paradox'apologia: how ever it fall out, so your Majesty buckler me with wont favour, I am of Caesar's mind: jactaest alea.  
Your majesties most humble subject and servant. R. G. S. D. M.   

To the friendly Reader.  
GEntle Reader, even as contrary things compared one with another, do give the better evidence of their value and virtue: so the truth of any matter whatsoever, appeareth most clearly, when the different reasons against the same, is equalled or neighboured therewith. Beside, whosoever would prepare a Knight to the field, must first exercise himself, in the most common and vulgar acts of Arms, that cunning stratagems may seem the less laboursome to him. In like manner, for him that would be a good Lawyer, after he hath long listened at the bar; he must adventure to defend such a cause, as they that are most employed, refuse to maintain: thereby to make himself more apt and ready, against common pleaders in ordinary causes of process. For this intent, I have undertaken (in this book) to debate on certain matters, which our Elders were wont to call Paradoxes: that is to say, things contrary to most men's present opinions: to the end, that by such discourse as is held in them, opposed truth might appear more clear and apparent. Likewise, to exercise thy wit in proof of such occasions, as shall enforce thee to seek diligently and laboriously, for sound reasons, proofs, authorities, histories, and very dark or hidden memories. Notwithstanding, in this conceits, I would not have thee so much deceived, as that either my sayings or conclusions, should make thee credit otherwise, then common and sensible judgement requireth: and yet withal remember, that diversity of things, doth more comfort men's spirits, then daily and continually to behold, whatsoever is common and frequent to our judgements.  
Farewell.   


For Poverty.  
Declamation, 1. That it is better to be poor than Rich.  
COnsidering for what, and against whom I am to speak in your presence, I have great occasion to fear, and withal to request, that credit and favour should have no more means, to blemish and obscure truth on your parts; then may innocency and simplicity on my behalf, by bringing and conducting ye into the apparent light; For minding to commend such things, as are blamed and hated by most part of men, it will be almost impossible for me to escape displeasure in the matters themselves, which of each one, and at all times have been loved, esteemed and cherished aboved all other things. But one thing that herein giveth me some comfort, is, that among the wise and virtuous, the number whereof are daily without comparison far less (albeit much more esteemed) then the bad and ignorant; I shall escape unblamed. Wherefore I need not be dismayed, if I find few protectors and friends, for praising matters so good and honest, when my adversary findeth greater advantage, for extolling such things as are evil and pernicious.  
Now because the principal point of my cause, consisteth in letting ye understand, the estate and value of such matters, as I stand for: I desire ye to wish him, who would turn ye from the knowledge hereof (as pretending not to know, that the well skilled in letters, have (for the most part) been poor and needy persons:) To call to memory the life of Valerius Publicola, Menenius Agrippa, as also the good Aristi●es, who died all so poor, as they were feign by alms to be buried. He may remember likewise, Epaminondas king of Thebes, in whose rich houses & Palaces (after so many fair victories and noble deeds of arms by him performed) was found but one poor straw-bed or base mattress, for to put in his Inventory. He may be mindful also of Paulus Aemillius, Attillius Regulus, Quintus Cincinnatus, Cato Elius and Marcus Manlius: whose noble hearts were more commanded by want; then the height of worldly fortunes. And who knows not, that love of poverty had such power over the good Abdolominus, that to be ruled thereby, he refused the most rich and abounding kingdom of Sydonia, he being elected by the people of the Country, to be governor thereof?  
Herein appeareth sufficiently, the great number of molestations and travails, hidden under the vain splendour of riches, and the abundance of honours hidden in the beautiful bosom of poverty: honours well known and understood by the Poet Anacreon, to whom it happened, that having been two whole nights together without any rest, troubled with continual devisings, how he might keep from thieves, and employ the five talents of gold which Polycrates had given him: at length, to deliver himself from this perpetual molestation, and return to his former happiness, he brought back the fair Talentes to the Tyrant, with such words as one of his sort might very well use, and notwithstanding he was poor and indigent, yet he refused those things so highly accounted on. It is certain, that he who hath always lived poor in this world, hath no grief or sorrow when he departeth from it: for it is to be considered, that he leaveth this earthly life more contented and joyfully, than he that by the means of riches, hath therein endured long time of pleasure.  
As for myself, I never saw one that was poor indeed, who at his death desired to be better stored. O chaste and humble poverty, whereon, as on a most firm rock, was builded (of old) the Church of God▪ Poverty, architectrix of great cities & towns: inventresse of all Arts and fair sciences, alone without any fault or reproach: Triumphant in very great excellence, and worthy of all honour and commendation. By thee was the Philosopher Plato esteemed so divine: Socrates so wise, and good Homer so eloquent. By thy means was erected the Empire of the great Roman people, and to be brief; how much for other things thou art to be loved singularly: yet for this one respect art thou highly to be praised, because apparently thou makest known, who (among friends) are the feigned and counterfeit. Wherefore I say, that such as forsake and reject thee, aught to be shunned as a savage beast, & chased from every one: considering that in refusing thee, he repulseth the mistress of all goods, & excellence of the spirit of man.  
That this is true, how many persons have been seen (by the means of honest want) to be brought to all modesty, humility, chastity, providence, and lastly to joy in that, which false philosophy, by long time and continual study, could hardly at any time bring to memory. If mine oath might urge ye to belief, I durst affirm before ye, that I have seen some in their worldly felicities, more furious, than ever was Orestes, more proud, than Athamantis, more voluptuous & libidinous than Verres or Clodius: who soon after by some inconveniences being brought to poverty, became in one instant chaste, courteous and so debonair, as not so much as the very shadow of their bodies, but appeared to be affable and gracious. And never did so much the gainesaiers of this virtue, no not in the honesties of moral philosophy, for it is a thing very certain, that she could never perform like worthy deeds, as our good poverty hath done; I beseech ye consider, what a mistress in her house she hath always been, to forbid, that (where she sojourneth) sloth, prodigality, gouttinesse, luxury, with such like misshapen and detestable matrons should have any harbour. wheresoever she showeth herself, it behoveth pride to be gone with all diligence; never must envy have any place there, such trumperies and abuses she scattereth from her abroades.  
But may it please ye to understand (Gentlemen) whereon they so much affected to riches and covetousness of money, do ground themselves, which in all seasons hath been held for the greatest ruin and destruction of men. They say, that such is the inclination of our spirit. I would demand of them, what society have the spirits of men, being of their own nature divine and celestial, with earthly superfluities, because nothing else is gold or silver, than the very excrement of the earth? where find they, that any one of them who were highly wise, would ever place riches in the number of those things, that truly aught to be called goods? Unhappy thorns, which brings ye such grief in the gathering, which with so many warm tears, and over-bitter sighs, ye leave lost and dissipated: and with such pains and anguishs, ye cause to be guarded and tended.  
Seneca, an author of great reputation, said: That the man is greatly to be commended, who prizeth earthen vessels as much as if they were of silver: but much more praise deserveth he, that esteemeth vessels of gold or silver no more then if they were of earth. So in truth, if we consider well the condition of these so highly beloved riches, we shall find them naturally to be such; as in dispending or employing them, they cause nothing else but trouble and torment. And thinking to keep them safe and sure under key, never the more easy benefit is received thereby: but oppressions of such care, as we cannot but repute ourselves simple subjects, and servants to them. For this it is, that our God, of infinite wisdom and bounty, calleth the poor most blessed: & who ever gave so much favour to poverty as he? in imitation of whom, many (I think by him inspired) have buried their goods, fearing least themselves should be buried in them.  
And briefly to discover the pleasure of these riches. If we desire them, to have a sumptuous stable of horses, double and single, Courtals, ambling and trotting Geldings, gennets, Hungarian, Barbarian, Turkish, and other horses of excellence: let us consider, that the horse by nature is a fantastical beast, night and day eating the goods of his master, yet for all that never satisfied; a lofty and a courageous beast, bread and nourished up for war, to whom sometimes their needs but a wisp of straw, to affright him with a shadow, which endagers the overthrow of his master. A beast, that oft times will not obey the bridle or the spur, and without the means of well ordering and managing, will fall into a thousand bogs or quag-mires. How many dangerous alarms, and spoil of Countries (caused by the unhappy incursions of the Gotthique, Vandalian, Huns, & Danish horses) have the noble kingdoms of France, Italy and Spain received: who but for this help, had never been enterprised upon by those barbarous Nations? What damage yearly do the post horses, not only to riders for offices and benefices: but likewise to Princes and Lords, who sometime (for their pleasure) desire to win ground in haste? I never look on them, that so boldly place their affection in horses; and who without any reasonable cause, so affect and keep them, but I say to myself: between him that loveth, and the thing beloved, it behoveth there should be some similitude and resemblance, otherwise such an appetite should never be engendered, nor could these two so well agree together. Seeing then that rich men are so immesureably affected to their horses, as they can think on no other pastimes in the world, but to send to buy them at Naples, in Turkey, in Almaigne and Spain: it must needs be esteemed, that they hold some disposition agreeing with the horses, participating with some strange and brutish nature. And not to be silent in other discommodities which horses bringeth, as well in the field as the City: first of all, if they troth, they will break their reins: and if they amble, they are ready to stumble and fall, hazarding thy overthrow, or perishing some member of thy body. Beside, this, as saith the great Alfirtocus, and many good Authors of Escuyrie: the horse is subject to more diseases than a man. So let me leave ye, to bethink on such other griefs and vexations, which horses daily bring unto ye.  
If we see into the pleasure of the rich, concerning the beauty of their Cabinets, garnished (among other jewels) with pointed diamonds, Rubies, Topazses, Emeralds, or other beautiful stones: we may at this day perceive by proof, that the price and value of precious stones, consisteth only in the affection of very wealthy persons, or in the smooth language of the abusers that sell them, the reputation and esteem of them, being subject to the incertitude and variety of opinions. That it is so, the Agath which now is of so slender prize, was of old had in great reputation with Pyrrhus, who kept one as most dear and precious. The sapphire, because it resembled the fair colour of Heaven, was wont to be in very high account: now it is of little esteem, and held as a slender jewel. The Diamond was never by our elders greatly prized: now ye see how it is reckoned and valued. The Topaz was in good credit with Ladies, but now at this present (for what occasion I know not) it is reputed the simplest jewel one can wear. And who knows not in what dignity the Emerald should be? Now ye see how it lies complaining on Fortune,  
Thou wilt tell me, that it were good for one to be rich, that he may be decked in fair and sumptuous garments, finely cut and framed after divers fashions. Thou art very sottish and simple if thou perceivest not, that such braveries bring thee perpetual sollytude and molestation; for having gotten garments of these sorts, thou must so often rub, wipe, brush, fold, unfold, altar, amend, air, and such like quality else beside, to keep them from spots & moths, wherein thou mayest apparently note and express deep vanity, that thou wilt cover thy body, which is made of nothing but dirt and slime, with purple, silk, gold, and other curiosities.  
Some good drinker, would desire money, to see his sellers full of the best and most delicate wines, as of Balm, Arbois, wine of Orleans, Rosetta, Muscadels, Bastards, Malmesies, Corsa, Greek wine, Vernacula, Romania, and others, which are not here to be nominated. These were good for thee; were it not that thou forgettest the discommodities which drink bringeth, and to be drunk. For wine (according as Plato holdeth) was in manner sent down here beneath by the Gods, to inflict punishments upon men, and to take vengeance on their offences, making them (after they be become drunk) to kill & murder one another. For this cause Androcides advertised Alexander, that wine was the blood of the earth, and he ought to guard himself well in the use thereof. This counsel being not well observed by that great Emperor; in his intemperance he slew his most dear Clitus, burned the City of Persepolis, stabbed his Physician, committing many other filthy and infamous deeds of excess. Wherefore was it, but for this, that the Carthaginians forbade wine to their soldiers and household servants, and to such likewise as held any estate of government in their Common wealth, especially during the time of their authority and office in the City.  
Leotichus being desired to tell the reason, wherefore the Spartans (by his commandment) were so sober in drinking wine: answered, that he did it to deliver them from trouble, in consulting with other nations touching their own affairs. Cyneas, Ambassador to Pyrrhus, whose sweet tongue was so much esteemed by every one, and of so great profit to his Prince, being one day in Auara, beholding the exceeding height of the country vines; in smiling merely, thus spoke. Good right had such a mother, to be hanged on so high a Cross or jibbet, because she brought forth such a dangerous child as wine was. Should one wish riches, to have great troops of fat cattle, store of wool or corn? to see his court full of fowls, his dove-cotes well bred and haunted, Turtle doves in cages, Peacocks, Pheasants, Turkey hens, with other kinds of excellent fowl choisly kept up? I think that the great number of these several kinds, serves but for venison to the Fox or Wolf, or else their rapine, that have not the mean to compass the like: the pleasure whereof may be called somewhat beastly, because it is nourished among beasts.  
And as for fowls, what are they (if not kept as a pray for foxes, Cats, and Weasels) then are they viands for hunters, the spoil of gardens, and destruction of Garners? Can one imagine like vexation to this beastly delight? for one paltry egg, what cry, what cackling and noise hear we for so small a thing: albeit it were good, as some doubt it is not. For who knows not by experience, chiefly by the testimony of Physicians, that the new laid egg subverteth the stomach, and when it is not new, it corrupteth and hurteth it? What shall I say of the Turtle dove, whose sorrowful note brings such grief to the hearer, and to the eater, such appetite to fleshly concupiscence? What likewise shall I say of the Pigeon? whose noise never ceaseth day or night, which breaks her masters head, and beside, fileth the fairest houses? And as for her hoarse note, I find it nothing inferior to that of the Peacock, in matter of annoying and bad sound: saving that the Peacock's cry is more mighty in terror, even as it were to affright the devils. I believe the man that brought them into this country, had much more regard to his belly, then to the quarrels and disturbing of neighbours, to disgrace the coverture of houses, and spoil of so many well manured and pleasant gardens.  
Some good supposer may say, that riches serve for a pleasant & recreative life. Because if I have wealth, I can make good cheer, I can behave myself merrily, and entertain companies of most excellent musicans, that shall make me pastime, and take from me all offending irksomeness. Let me advertise thee, that in music is not to be received one only good or honest pleasure; because it is naturally vain and dissolute. That it is so, Saint Athanasius Bishop of Alexandria, a man of very profound knowledge, to the reading of whose books, Saint jerom most instantly exhorteth us: chased music forth of the christian Church, because it too much weakened and softened men's spirits, making them inclined and disposed to all worldly pleasures and lasciviousness: beside this, it increased melancholy in him, that was first by nature surprised therewith. Saint Augustine had never any will at all to prove it: the Egyptians blamed it, not so much for being unprofitable, as dangerous and damnable. Aristotle most highly hated it, when it happened him to say: that jupiter never could sing or play on the harp. Philip of Macedon very much blamed his son Alexander, because he saw him given too much to music, and saw him (one time among other) take too great pleasure in singing melodiously: who would then wish great store of goods, to employ them in such a fantastical study?  
Who would desire riches, for the pastime of hunting, hawking, and other manner of chase sports? the chase is no recreation at all, that a studious or a virtuous spirit should follow: for whosoever will well resolve himself thereof, shall find it an exercise of cruelty, a sport for desperate people, and (if I durst say so) for mad men. This pastime was first invented by the Thebans, a nation beyond other most cruel and beastly: nor was it had in any use, but among the most barbarous, such as were the Idumaeans, Ismaelites and Philistines. For the truth hereof, look in holy writ, if any one of the good patriarchs was ever a hunter? We read somewhat of Cain, Esau and Nemrod: but this was the cause why Saint Augustine held, that the said Esau was reckoned among the number of sinners. According to which opinion, the chase was forbidden to Priests in the Milevitane council, albeit that decree at this day is little accounted of.  
Wherefore think ye the fabulists feigned Actaeon, to be turned into a Hart as he was chase? but only to let us understand, that the over-earnest & immeasureable love borne to that exercise, with the consuming of goods bestowed thereon: makes the hunters in the end not only beastly, but even horned altogether likewise. For proof and example of this dangerous pleasure, I am to tell ye, that not many days past, a marvelous fair young Gentlewoman, accounted of greatest trust where she dwelled, so soon as her husband was risen early in the morning to go on hunting: received the injurious company of her secret friend, with whom she had greater pastime, not forsaking her bed, than the hunter could have in midst of the fields, where he pursuing some horned beast, himself (without thinking thereon) was at home turned into a mask of the same fashion. Poor and miserable huntsmen, let me in courtesy tell ye, to what end serves this great affection ye bear to savage beasts, but to make ye continually haunt the woods and forests, where ye likewise become savage and brutish, ready oftentimes to break your necks in bushes or ditches. Take example I pray ye by Viriatus, he that by his prowess conquered the kingdom of Portugal, and consider, how of a shepherd, he became a huntsman, and from a huntsman, to be a robber and these in the woods.  
The youths that are termed nice-wantons, will never yield to me, but that riches will serve to feast their Ladies, to banquet, dance, vault, brave it, revel all the night, and use a thousand idle tricks of lovers, wherein we see the wealthy youths of these days, most commonly to place their pleasure. Hereto I would not willingly agree, were it not I imagine, what is done in secret to Ladies: so that the love of the very fairest, or most quaint and finest Gentlewoman, is nothing else than a secret hidden death, a close contrived poison, incident to the spirit of the most sensible person that is. And for this cause, the Egyptians (willing to show love portrayed in every part,) were wont to paint a snare or halter: signifying thereby (as I think) the miserable end and condition, whereto poor lovers are daily led, a passion too bitter to feel, that suddenly making his entry into the hearts of men, departs again very slow and slackly: whence springeth afterward infinite fountains of tears, sighs too piercing, anguishs and travails insupportable.  
This was it that moved Alcesimarchus Plautinus to maintain, that love was the first inventor of begging and the wallet, by reason (I think) of the incredible molesting and torments, which he loads his poor beggars withal, being as often present with him as absent, & absent as well as present: by means whereof he sends them in the end (if they be not well grounded) the bag for their first salutation; and with a new shirt or sheet on their shoulder, to the hospital, by four horses or bearers. And that love is (of all torments) the most cruel in the world, it appeareth by the answer which Apolonius Thianeus made to the king of Babylon; concerning the pain he desired to be invented for punishing of an Eunuch, who was found with a gentlewoman his affected favourite. Ye need not bethink any greater persecution for him (quoth the Philosopher) then to let him live: for I make no doubt (mighty king) if the fire of love go forward in him, according as already it hath begun: ye cannot make him feel and endure a more cruel passion, nor may he be so tormented with what else ye can devise. He shall find himself like the ship, tossed with contrary winds, himself (by his own procurement) even like the foolish fly, shall burn and consume in this flame: he shall burn when he is as cold as ice: he shall request and refuse in one self-same instant, and desire as much to die as to live. In these words Thianeus erred not a jot, if we could consider, how grievously Solomon was toiled and tormented with this love, till men beheld him transported from all natural sense, and made a mere prevaricatour of the holy law.  
If we should seek after this wicked money, to take pleasure in many farms, country houses, environed with trim gardens and buildings, beset with clear fountains, Thickets, Arbours, Vineyards, Meadows, earable land, and other singularities: I say, such things make us often poor by slothfulness, and undoth us by over-lavishnesse, inducing us to grievous offences, thorough many by-places, and behaviours that are over secret. That it is not unlikely, let us remember what Cicero wrote to his friend Verres, and we shall find, that when he would well decipher and portrait to life (as it were) the libidinous acts of a Gentleman: that first of all he painted forth, the walks and pleasures of country houses and fair places, which accustomably he frequented, as if such things were the ministers and helps, of his very chiefest faults and misbehaviours.  
For conclusion, riches have ever been in so bad reputation; that they have been called brambles, flames, and burning coals. See how they make insolent people arrogant, spiteful, beastly, negligent, disdainful, fools, melancholy, solitary and hateful: ye shall not find one alone, but doubteth of their service, as being baits and nourishments to all unhappy works. Hence it came that Pliny said, treasures hid by nature for our profit, do commonly stifle us, and plunge us in the depth of all mischances. So was Zeno wont to say, that the goods of the world did more hurt than help: which was the cause that made Crates the Theban, passing one day from his country of Athens, to follow the study of Philosophy, to throw all the gold and silver he had about him into the sea, imagining, that virtue and riches could never partake together: the same speeches were likewise confirmed by Bias, Plato, and many other wise Philosophers.  
But what need I spend time in producing so many witnesses: when the holy mouth of the Creator hath said: that sooner shall the cable of a ship enter the eye of a needle to sow withal, then can a rich man into the kingdom of heaven. He spoke it, who (all his life time) distributed and spent his faculties on the poor. But the Pagan that invented the fiction (in truth very ingenious) how jupiter surprised with the marvelous and exceeding beauty of Danae, converted himself into a shower of gold, falling into the bosom and lap of the Lady, by this mean to have iovissance with his so long desired and purchased pray: doth he not plainly enough give us to understand, that gold is the most proper and convenable thing, wherewith to oppugn and overthrow the chastity of innocent maidens? Yet think not, that gold serveth only as a custom, to persecute the modesty of women withal; but assure yourselves beside, that it is daily the cause of monstrous treasons, slaughter, and many other deeds of vile excess, which the brevity of time, and fear of offending ye, will not permit me to rehearse.  
Wherefore I will conclude with the good Philosopher Possidonius, that riches is the cause of infinite evils: which contrariwise cannot be so said or alleged, against our holy and well advised poverty, of whom learned Seneca speaketh honourably, saying; That the naked by this special mean, is out of danger of thieves, and such as are free from money, may in besieged places live at ease, not dreading the fear of enemies. Much better than (without comparison) is frank poverty, than such slavish riches: seeing from poverty springeth infinite profits and commodities, and from worldly goods, proceedeth nothing but unhappiness.   

For the hard-favoured face, or fowl Complexion.  
Declamation, 2. That it is better to be fowl than fair.  
WHo knoweth not, how much the deformity of body and hard favoured face is to be esteemed, principally in women (for in men it was never in so great request:) hath never considered, how many amorous sparks is daily to be seen, under an ill-favoured countenance and bad composed body, choicely hid and covered: which in a fair face finely polished, gives often occasion of ceaseless flames and cruel passions. But the strong and invincible bulwark, which the fowl face (not only of old, but likewise in these times) hath erected for itself, will encounter the fires of love that are so damageable. Do ye believe (Gentlemen) if fair Helen the Greek, and the gentle Trojan Shepherd, had been hard favoured or counterfeit in parsonage, that the Greeks' would ever have taken so much pain in pursuing them? Nor had poor Troy endured such cruel ruin and destruction, in long description whereof, so many skilful wits were wearied and tired.  
And if we shall compare and unite together, the beauty of the mind with that of the body: shall we not find a greater number of deformed people, to be more wise and ingenious than the fair and well formed? Let Socrates be our witness, whom the historians and ancient figures represent, to be so ill-favoured as might be: notwithstanding, by the Oracle of Apollo, he was acknowledged to be the wisest man of his time. Phrygian Aesop, the most excellent fabulist, was in form of body so strange and misshaped, as the very ugliest in his time (in comparison of him) might rightly be resembled to Narcissus or Ganymede: nevertheless, as each one may read, he was most rich in virtues, and in spirit (beyond all other) most excellent.  
Of great deformity were the Philosophers, Zeno and Aristotle, Empedocles foully composed, and Galba a very ugly counterfeit: nevertheless, they all were of marvelous and sweet disposed spirit. Can any impeach the deformity of Philopoemen, who after he was seen to be a good and hardy soldier: came he not to the dignity of a most valiant captain? and was he not reverenced among his people, for his high & excellent virtues? Consider (Gentlemen) on such as are of fair and corpulent fashion, and ye shall commonly find them to be sickly, more weak, and less able to travail: more soft, delicate and effeminate, than the other kind of people. Again, ye shall seldom times see it happen, that in a beautiful body, being of great excellence, chastity agreeth in self-same likelihood: because it is to be kept with great difficulty, being by so many sought after so earnestly.  
What shall we say of such, who (not contenting themselves with nature,) do daily frame very great complaints against her, making no spare of their goods or labour, to reform (with all endeavour) what seemeth best to them for fashion of their bodies: because they be not appropriate or agreeing with their curious appetites? Of such fools I demand, seeing nature (the most careful and discrete mother of all things) hath given them what she thought meet and profitable in the form of their bodies: for what cause they should be displeased with her, or imagine her a bad bestower, who would never give them any part of that folly, which is so vainly set by and esteemed of by every one? Nature gives not to her friends, the things that may quickly be wasted by sickness, or overthrown by the course of age: therefore true liberality is known, by the firm and long continuance of the gift bestowen upon any one: and what see ye of less permanence than beauty?  
Consider, how it hath headlong thrown down young people, into secret griefs and perilous dangers, and alured them to such hateful sins: as right happy might he count himself, that could escape them with his honour unstained. Contrariwise, note the good and profit ensuing by deformity, when all they in general, that of old time have been, & yet at this day are studious in chastity, do openly confess, as nothing hath like force in them, to tame and check the pricks of the flesh, neither long watchings, grievous disciplines, or continual fastings; as one only look upon an ill-favoured and counterfeit person. Hence ensueth that, which is used as a common proverb, concerning a very fowl deformed woman: that she serveth as a good receipt and sovereign remedy, against fleshly temptations.  
O sacred and precious deformity, dearly loved of chastity, free from all scandalous dangers, & a firm rampart against all amorous assaults, I perceive that by thy means, company keeping is the easier to be allowed, for thou takest from them all griefs & annoyances: chase from thy society all wicked suspicions, as a very special remedy against desperate jealousy. O that I could find words worthy thy praises and deserts, whence proceedeth infinite good and treasure, which with great shame hath been (by the ignorant) despised and blamed. O what affection I have to persuade my friends, how they should know (henceforth) to adorn and embellish themselves, with the beauty that for ever endureth: and not to departed therewith from among us, either drinking, eating, waking, sleeping or breathing. I mean that beauty, that keeps us company even to our grave, and leaves us not till the latest gasp: that which we may truly call our own, no way due or attributable to our parents. Gainsay me who shall, I will rest myself on this opinion, that much better is it to be adorned with such a colour, then to trust or repose only in borrowed corporal beauty, which so easily corrupteth, even by the least touch of any fever that may come upon us.  
I remember a young maiden of Perigourd, who perceiving her beauty to be a very great, suspicious, and capital enemy to her good fame, and that in regard thereof, she was daily required and solicited by many young younkers: her own self with a razor, or some piece of silver made sharp for the purpose, so disfigured her fair face, that her two cheeks, which seemed before like roses or shining Carbuncles, contained nothing at all of their former and natural beauty. Like act did many wise, well learned Damosels, and holy virgins of the Primitive church, of whom especial memory is made among Christians at this day.  
What say ye of our Courtesans? whom God (by his especial grace) having not given the gift, to be the fairest of all other: how daily they cease not to invent, new and strange manners of paintings, to counterfeit and disguise their age and first natural shape: with false hairs, Spanish white, Pom●des, Targon, distilled waters, brayed drugs, Oils, Powders, and others follies too long to be recounted. Oftentimes they shave or burn their artificial hair, and then again, rub slick, chafe and wash themselves, only to seem fair: yet notwithstanding, look on them at night or in the morning, and ye shall find them more deformed than before: but what ensueth soon after upon this goodly industry? Sin, Death, and the anger of God.  
Now then, desire this feigned fair beauty who will, and such as best think themselves worthy of it: for I hold most firmly, that it is better to hate & fly it, then to wish or affect it, seeing nothing proceedeth thereof, but pride, overweening and vainglory, as also the most misshaped horned creatures of the world. Never was I of any other mind, since the time I had power of reason, to discern and know truth from falsehood, but that deformed people deserved more praise than the beautiful, nor is it without cause, or disagreeing with best sense, considering such as are hard favoured, are commonly chaste, humble, ingenious, holy, and have ever some sweet appearance of most commendable grace.  
But for them that boast of beauty, I leave to you the consideration of their behaviour, which is often times so counterfeit, as nothing can be said to agree less with nature. You shall see them of lofty countenance, inconstant demeanour, wandering looks, bold pace, and like language: now judge at your pleasure what ye conceive of them. Conclude then will I, that it is much better to be fowl than fair, & let no adversary party intrude himself to reply against my speeches, for I am both stoutly determined, and sufficiently furnished, to make him answer.  
Had I no more but the testimony of Theophrastus, who hath left us in writing; that bodily beauty is nothing else but secret deceit: And he that will not here with content himself, to him let me produce the advise of Theocritus: that beauty is an unknown detriment.  
Shall we then be so unwise and sottish, that (even at the first sight) we will pursue our own evils and misfortunes? more easily embracing most perilous and damageable beauty, than deformity ten times more availing and profitable? Would God that foolish mind might not abide in any one, but rather, that we all would hate what is so unfit for us, & from which cometh no goodness or felicity.   

For the ignorant.  
Declamation, 3. That ignorance is better than knowledge.  
THe more I think hereon, the more I resolve and rest in this opinion, that it is better to have no knowledge in letters, then to be expert or skilful therein: considering, that such as have consumed the more part of their age in the study of sciences, have in the end repent themselves thereof, and have oftentimes found very evil success thereby.  
Valerius the great, writing of Cicero (who by good right deserved to be called, not only the father of eloquence, but even the fountain of all excellent learning) saith, that in his latter years, he conceived such an hatred against letters, as if they had been the cause of his so many griefs and travails. The Emperor Licinius, Valentinianus, Heraclides, Licianus and Philonides of Malta, have openly termed the skill in letters; sometime to be a public plague, & sometime a common poison to men. And I have found written in many good Authors, that he which covets knowledge, covets vexation, & that from great experience, ensueth (oftentimes) the greatest danger. Likewise it is certain, that all heresies, as well ancient as modern, came from men of knowledge: & contrariwise, that in people esteemed idiots, or men of little knowledge, have been usually noted express signs of virtuous works and good examples.  
I highly commend the order among the Lucanes, that no one professing capacity of letters, or esteemed learned, may obtain any office, or sit as a Magistrate in their parliament: for they stand in fear, lest these lettered men (by their great knowledge, which makes them presume so much on their persons) should trouble the good order and tranquillity of their common wealth. Nor may this be reckoned but to very good purpose, if we would well consider their insolency, who under shadow of probation in a college, would have every one stand bounden or be holding to them, and think under colour of their fair allegations, with interpretations (God wots) crooked enough sometime, to overthrow the best natural sense in the world, and they of duty ought to be above all only heard, and listened to. Some of them there be, that (like to Midas) confound in their obstinate opinions and stiffnecked conceits, all things whatsoever they take in hand.  
I cannot imagine, to what end are available these men so highly learned, who (in honour of their followers) are called fine, polished, curious and ingenious wits. For if they might serve to govern any public cause; how many nations are seen, without the knowledge of laws imperial, or of Stoical, or Peripatetical philosophy, so to govern & entertain themselves, that they outgo all ancient Common weals.  
To think that they may serve for the art military, I dare boldly witness thus much unto ye, that I have known more than one or two Gentlemen, and captains well lettered, who (by the help of their books) have laboured and busied themselves, to point out a field, levy an army, put men in array, and furnish their squadrons; which practice never returned them any honour. For in truth in matter of war, we daily behold to happen incident novelties, and unaccustomed stratagems, which never before were registered, or put in use, by the very skilfullest writers in times past. How can we then with reason affirm, the books of Frontinus or Vegetius, to be profitable for the art of war? In my conceit, the good judgement of a Captain, joined with his long use and experience in these matters; is sufficient enough for him, without troubling him to turn over books of the Art military.  
That these lettered people are meet to guide a house, or govern a household (which the Philosophers called Oeconomia) how can I agree thereto? when at this day is to be noted, both here and elsewhere; how many good and honest mothers of families, who never in their lives studied in any University, yet both have and do well order their houses, & guide their household? yea, above one or two hundred women for example, who (no displeasure to Aristotle or Xenophon) may learnedly read them a Lecture, and turn them confusedly out of their household catalogue: so good and right a course do they carry in these causes. And I do not doubt, but if those Philosophers or Economics of times past, were at this day present to see, how these housewives govern and content each one: themselves would avouch, that they might learn of them new precepts & instructions, that better would become their fair books and volumes.  
May it please ye that I show ye, how these expert fellows in letters, even as by another Circe's, are transformed, and deprived of the greater part of their natural power? Find me out a young man, lusty and bravely disposed of person, affable, endued and garnished with all such things, as are best beseeming his age: let him follow the study of letters, ye shall find him in short time unlusty, louttish, unapt to all things, and as little while (for conference) can he tarry from his book, as can the fish out of the water.  
I pray ye note the looks of poor Students, how sad they are, melancholy, grim, dreadful, languishing, humorous and heavy, in brief, the very nearest portrait to a deadly counterfeit, or a long dried anatomy. And as for their complexions, they are the hardest in choice that can be amongst men: ever they are suspicious of some evil, so bade they are themselves, proud, presumptuous, despising all honest companies, mortal enemies to the so noble & sweet sex feminine, vaunters to the uttermost, and frantic inventors of tales, trifles & inventions. Which Saint Paul divinely foreseeing, admonished us, not to be wise, but soberly minded: fearing, lest by over-plunging ourselves in the depth of human doctrines, we should fall into far greater perils & dangers: therefore he counsels us, not to seek after high and difficult matters, but to abide in fear, without passing the bounds of obedience.  
Likewise, did not he show himself, to have left and despised all literature and worldly knowledge, after he had gotten the true knowledge of GOD, when he said: nothing was more to be desired, then well to know his master crucified? That he was not come to preach, garnished with human wisdom, or rhetorical cunning? And that the wisdom of this world, was nothing else but folly before God? And that it did nothing else but puff up the hearts of men? And that whosoever sought after things over high, should find themselves shut quite out of glory? And these words agree with the saying of Ecclesiasticus: that we should seek after nothing, which surmounteth the capacity of our spirit. To prove the same, hath not God menaced by the mouth of his Prophet; to destroy the wisdom of the wise, and to reprove the prudence of the skilful?  
What shall let me from believing, that the wisdom of this world, was the invention of the enemy, whom our elders called Daemon: seeing the word Daemon, signifieth wise and learned? This was he that promised to poor Adam (so easy to be deceived,) the knowledge of good and evil, if he would but taste of the fruit which God had forbidden him. Plato rehearseth to this purpose, that an evil spirit named Theudas, was the first inventor of Sciences: & hence it followeth (as I think) that we see so few learned men, but some of them are wicked, seditious, envying the glory one of another, lurking deceivers, and cruel revengers: which though it be not done by arms in field like men, yet have they the means of performing the same, in Comedies, beastly satires, too sharp and biting verses, cruel iambics, & furious Epigrams.  
I would willingly demand of such, as make doubt of the disprofit and slender value of letters: if they were of such price and esteem as they make them to be; our great Lords, who are (as every one perceiveth) very curious of the most fair and precious things in the world: would they endure such dearth in their houses? Why doth not learning make them so rich & magnificent, as other temporal goods do? And were it so greatly profitable for youth, as also such an honest recreation for age: I am ashamed to see, that in our great Cities and Towns, the professors thereof go from house to house, like such as beg bread with empty wallets. For in truth this is the end of letters followers and favourers, in these unhappy and accursed times: not only to be beggars, but (beyond all other) to be most miserable and malcontent. That this is true, do but note the very first figure, character, or letter, which we teach our children in their infancy: is it not the Cross? beginning with all poverty, going on with anguish, trouble and grief, and ending with like dolorous death?  
For example, see what was the end of Socrates & Anaxagoras: who by sentence and decree of the Senate of their countries, were both miserably poisoned. Thales likewise, who died with thirst. Zeno, who was slain by commandment of the Tyrant Phalaris. Anaxarchus, who was detestably murdered by the commandment of Nicocreon. The great Philosopher, and most singular Mathematician Archimedes, who was slain by the soldiers of Marcellus. And Pythagoras likewise, who was slain in company of three score of his Scholars.  
Think on the glorious recompense, made to the Philosopher Plato; when after his long travail for the cause public, he was (in the end) sold as a slave by Dionysius the Tyrant. Anacharsis died suddenly. Diodorus died in despite, because he could not resolve a question, which was proposed to him by the Philosopher Stilpo. Aristotle, when he saw himself out of credit with Alexander, he drowned himself in Chalcide in the river Eurypus: and Calisthenes his scholar was cast forth of the windows. Cicero had his head and hands cut off, and his tongue pulled out having been before banished from Rome, where he saw his house ruined, his so dearly beloved daughter ded before his face, and his wife in the arms of his utter adversary. Seneca died a violent and outrageous death. Averroes the great commenter of Aristotle, was broken with a wheel that passed over his body. johannes Scotus, making his Lecture in England, was stabbed to death by his scholars, with their penknives.  
But leaving these ancient matters, and to speak of them of our time: let us consider the death of Hermolaus Barbarus, who was banished from the Signory of Venice, because without the consent of them, he had accepted the patriarchs authority of Aquilea, he died by a coal, that took hold under one of his toes. Domitius Calderinus died also of the plague. The learned counsellor or peacemaker, was burned after he was dead, because they could not catch him in his life time. Angelus Politianus ended his days, beating his head against the walls. Savanarola was burned at Florence, by the commandment of Pope Alexander. Peter Lion of Spoleta, was thrown into a well. johannes Tissierus, died in an hospital. Erasmus in exile. The French Poet in like manner, by the miserable and implacable suit of the court, even in his oldest years. The Lord john Frances Pica Mirandula, was slain by the people of his own country. If I would stand to number all, I should undertake one of Hercules' labours: specially, to recite the misery of them, that have been, and even now are (to their pain) glad to go seek their fortune, only through the cause of learning.  
Wherefore is it, that a Cook, a Horse-keeper, a Gardener or a peasant, shall be received more honourably, and better provided for in the Courts of princes and great Lords, then shall a man of great wisdom? It is because they receive more profit by such fellows, than they do by curious students or labourers in letters: the countenance and slender service of whom, makes them in the Court so little regarded, as they are but mocked at for every word, so that if any one of them think to advance himself in company, by pronouncing three poor words of latin: hardly can he have opened his mouth, but one is ready to call him master of the Town, or Schoolmaster of the College, which are words of no more regard (by the report of themselves that utter them) then if one should call him poor and miserable wretch: for that is understood, without the speaking, as under the name of an unthankful man, are comprehended all the faults that may be alleged against him.  
Did not one make a law, that whosoever should speak of letters, should be grievously punished and corrected? And he that should touch a book, of what science soever, should have his hands either burnt or cut off: with particular forbiddings to every one (under the pain of hanging) no more to use paper, ink, pens, or inkhorns, with utter abolishing of the arts of impression, cutting, graving, or other kind of stamp, in what manner soever it should be: to the end, that learning being (by this edict) driven forth of the sight and beholding of men, by the same means might be prevented the unhappiness, that from thence daily ensueth: aswell through the grievous afflictions, that learn followers suffer in themselves, as also in respect of the great danger and loss in those places, where the Academies are assembled of learning's scholars.  
Better it is then to be ignorant then skilful, better to hate letters, then so dearly to cherish and love them. Moreover, our poor ignorant people, show not themselves astonished or confounded, of whom (God be praised) I see a sufficient competent number, and as it were infinite: but they rejoice and thank God in their hearts, for the great Fortune happening to them, by reason of their ignorance. For they remember, that when good Socrates was judged generally, and held by the Oracle to be wise: than himself openly manifested to every one, that it was because he knew nothing. Likewise, they forget not the goodly proverb of Saint Augustine: that the simple are lifted on high, and rejoice the heavens: but the learned, with their curious lessons and sciences, shall be overthrown. Lastly they call to mind, that which was so highly said, and reproved to S. Paul by Festus the judge: that the multitude of Sciences, and deep knowledge in things, oftentimes puts a man beside himself, and carrieth him quite from all good sense.   

For Blindness.  
Declamation, 4. That it is better to be blind, then to see clearly.  
IF we would in brief, compare the commodities of sight, with the great hurts it brings to men: we should find on the one side, all voluptuous delights and pleasures, which daily end in bitterness, alienation of sense, provocation to envy, irritation and commotion against the heart: and on the other side we should behold, the strength of spirit, better imagination, and contemplation of things high and heavenly, with perfection of memory, which more excellently shows itself to the blind, then to the clearest sighted: because that their light (which is the force of man's understanding) is neither here or there disorderly transported.  
Now, that memory is the most noble part of the heart, it is sufficiently made plain unto us, by the Testimony of Cicero in his Orator, where he calleth it the treasure of wisdom. Also by the honour the Greeks have done thereto, in naming it the mother of sapience. Beside this, that so many other persons, knowing themselves to be deprived of natural memory; in regard of the estimation they made thereof: invented another, called artificial, with very delicate and precious oils, sundry emplasters, syrups and drugs, fetched from very far countries.  
That the blind are of far better apprehension and imagination, than the sharpest sighted: it is too evident unto us, if we would consider, that the powers of the soul are in them more equally assembled: withal, that they have this special prerogative, of not beholding so many deformed and dishonestactions, which are daily to be seen in this world, whereby their spirit might be alienated or turned, from contemplation of high and heavenly matters.  
First of all, when a blind man is led by his little lad along the streets, he is free from beholding a multitude of counterfeited monsters: people but half made by nature, a thousand toys on their heads, their bellies all buttons, holding up their nose and chins like puppets; with other such like vain heads, so misshaped and deformed, as Octavianus Augustus would call, the very jests and mockeries of Nature. He is free from seeing so many troubled with palsies, leprosies, dropsies, gouts, falling evils, impotent with botches, biles, scabs, blains, scurfs, and such like.  
What shall I say of the graces, that blindness brings to her children? not suffering them to taste one only grief or molestation: but gives them leisure and commodity of power (at their own ease,) to contemplate celestial beauties and excellences divine. Hear of was the Philosopher Democritus so zealous, that he made himself blind, regarding firmly and steadfastly the sun: that by the loss of his bodily eyes, he might recover better use of the eyes of the mind, and with more ease contemplate supernatural things, which otherwise he could not so well intent, when he used the objects of this world, which always constrained him to continual laughter.  
Homer, as blind as he was, was accounted & held to be the most famous & excellent Poet in all Greece. Blindness never hindered Dydimus Alexandrinus, but that most elegantly he attained the Greek & Latin languages: and which is more, (a thing perhaps incredible) he became very excellent in the mathematical sciences. Blindness did no way impeach Claudius Appius, (though he was very old & weak) but he was daily seen in council with the Senate of Rome: where most prudently he deliberated on the affairs public, and governed (beside) with great honour, a mighty and innumerable family. To be blind no way offended Lippius, albeit he was a most perfect Orator. What was it the worse for Hamnibal, that he had lost one of his eyes? did he thereby lose one jot of courage, but pursued the more furiously upon the Romans'? persuade yourselves, that if he had lost both his eyes, he would have been a much more valiant Captain. See if old Tobias (after he became blind) did fear or love God ever a jot the less, than he did before.  
It was my chance one day to reason and confer privately, with certain of mine acquaintance that were blind, and I remember, that one among the rest, who sometime had been a dealer in merchandise, swore and avouched faithfully unto me: that his blindness did no way grieve or offend him, but he the more highly thanked God therefore. Because (quoth he) my sight being taken away; I have likewise lost the offence of spirit, whereinto I was drawn in divers places I frequented. And he justified, that since this good fortune befell him, he travailed about his affairs into Spain: where he found himself highly contented, that he could not see the great vaunting Spaniard, nor so many Gentlemen by the dozen, that for five shillings of yearly rent, cause themselves to be entitled, my Lord such a one, or must be named Knights at the least.  
Another told me, that he caused himself to be led into Germany, about certain business he had with the Foulcres: but never did he esteem himself so happy, as that he could not behold the manifold discords among the Lords of the Country, so many divisions, so many garrisons of Spaniards, with so many new imperial cuts.  
A third man told me, that he had been in France about traffic of merchandise, where he not a little rejoiced, that he could not behold the infinite pleaders, a Hydra of suits and quarrels, the numberless throng of catchers and purloiners of benefices, a world of false accusers and masked people, changing as often in opinions, as they do in habits and attire. Then breaking forth into a great laughter, if (quoth he) I should hereafter pass into divers places of Italy, where I have accustomably haunted heretofore: first of all, I shall no more see in Romania and Lombardy, so many partialities of Guelfs & Gibelines, so many fair buildings ruined, so many beautiful and goodly Cities destroyed by factions. I shall no more see the gross feeding Milanese, the avaricious Pavoyan, the mutinous Playsencian, the fantastical Parmesan, the graceless Cremonian, the slothful Mantuan, nor the proud Ferraran. I shall see no more the prating Florentine, the dissembling Bolognian, the glorious Lucan, the usuring Geneway, nor the boasting Modenan.  
And continuing his speech, he said to me beside, that he imagined himself most happy, that the year passed he had not been at Rome, no more to note the excessive pomp of infinite courtesans, who clad and decked in the habilements of Queens, triumph on the patrimony of the poor fisher. Likewise no more to behold in Naples, the troops of Moors, the bands of Ruffians, bawds and brothels: the great number of knights of the broach, who all day do nothing else, but walk with their noses up in the wind like Plovers, as well in the fields as the City, with white wands in their hands, so expecting their Fortune, to the great detriment of their followers. Nor likewise to see in Sicily, those great managers of iron-wheeld Chariots: who at the least word offered them, will counterfeit the countenance of another choleric God Mars, as if they would fight with the sea & the fishes. Nor also to see so many fine dames, ready to be bought for a little, to pass the time away with Gentlemen.  
In brief, this good blind man told me so much, and so sweetly lulled me asleep with his words, as he well-near made me of the mind, to pluck forth mine own eyes: for the grief I have to behold in Venice, such a crowd of nice darlings: in Padua, such indiscreet looks: in Vincenza, such beastlike demeanour: in Treviso, such disordered liberty: at Verona, such frantic fury; at Brescia, such miserable avarice; at Bergamo, such scrupulous countenances, with sundry such like qualities in other places.  
Of force then must they that are clear sighted, behold such things, as would enforce stones to start out of the walls, by the great despite and grief they bring to men. In witness of the holy man, who being newly become blind, by chance happened to meet on the way, with Arrius the father of heretics: and hearing among other talk, that Arrius grieved for the accident befallen the good man, the blind father thus answered. That it was needless for him to grieve so much, because (quoth he) for this blindness I highly thank my God: were it not in any other respect, but only that I may not see thee, that art such a wicked enemy to God. Said not good job, that he had made this covenant with his eyes, that they should content themselves with looking upon one only woman, and not to gaze after any other?  
Hence it is, that the Prophet complained so much, that his eyes rob from beasts, saying: death entered into his heart by the windows of the body, which are the eyes, serving to overthrow man's understanding, whereto suddenly they represent and deliver (without finding any hidden ambush) all that they see and perceive abroad. And when they look to vanity, listen what the gentle Poet saith: So soon as I had seen, I was lost.  
How happened it to the holy Psalmist, when by the very seeing of Berseba: he was so overcome with burning and lascivious regarding her, as he wanted not much of incurring the danger of death? The Evangelist exhorteth us, to pluck forth our eyes, if they do scandalise of offend us: and when is it that they do not both these to us?  
If I would seek further for the benefits of the blind, I should find an infinite number. First, they have no need of spectacles, wherewith to see small things, nor of eye glasses, otherwise called barnacles, when they travel in windy weather. In Winter they need not fear, that the overmuch whiteness of the snow, will hurt or offend their sight. They are free from subjection to eye medicines, which they have need to practise, that are subject to the eyes inflammation, to the dilating or enlarging the apple of the eye: to help the disease called scotomy; or when all things in view seem to be round: for illusions: the eye-gellie: the web, pearl, tears fistula, rheum, bleared eyes, and other such like diseases. They have no need to distill the waters of Fennell, Sage, Vervain, or eyebright. They need no Aloes infused in wine, or prepared Tuthie, the whites of eggs beaten in rose water, nor pills for the sight.  
Wherefore I conclude, that it is better to be blind, then to see never so well: because the blind sees nothing that afflicts or torments them; where contrariwise, the best sighted have ten thousand objects, that molest and offends them without pardon: which doth purchase to them so many anguishs, & brings them into such dangerous extremes, as they cannot well tell how to recover themselves again.  
How much think ye will it displease a poor pilgrim, when he shall see in travailing on his journey, a great many hideous horrible serpents, creeping vipers, and such like beasts? when he shall see under him quicksands, quag-mires, downe-falling, and most fearful deep places? when he shall meet to beard him, his most mortal enemy? when he shall see himself mocked, scorned and railed at, with all unseemly gestures both of mouth and hands? Poor eyes, of how many evils are ye the cause, through your own curiosity? How many follies do ye deliver to the most mild and simple spirit, only to trouble the gracious rest thereof? What letters written, or what words engraven, are by ye represented to the poor heart, to fill him full of all bitterness? How many gests and motions do ye show to the natural sense, which soon after are the cause, that man liveth in no quiet in his conscience? How many dissimulations do ye note, aswell in the Court, as elsewhere, under a counterfeit smile, with a calfe-like made courtesy, an Italian reverence, a judas-like kiss and embracing, and a bare voice offering service? Do ye not then account them happy, that have believed, and never seen any of these things? Upon these speeches and reasons, produced on my behalf, I leave ye Gentlemen to set down such judgement, as to you shall seem best: assuring myself very confidently, that after all considerations, ye will not diminish any part of my due right or equity.   

For the Foole.  
Declamation, 5. That it is better to be a fool, than wise.  
ALbeit the like matter which I am now to prove and defend, hath been already by two excellent men, delivered in this honourable assembly, and by them deliberated on to their advantage: It may please ye yet not to think it strange, if in regard of the occasion, which this day offers itself, I come as now to glean and gather after them gone before, if so be I can find any thing by them left or omitted, either as unadvisedly, or else if perhaps they had not proves sufficient ready at hand to exchange in the cause.  
For the first advertisement, I will use the advise and opinion of the ancient Philosophers, which was, that to live securely in this world, they thought it best to use the counterfeit shadow of a fool: and they said, that even as he who hath some mean to counterfeit well a Prince, Lord or Gentleman, can do no less for the while but enter into the same travail, solicitude, cares, pains and griefs, as the person he imitates is subject unto: so he that in this world, will sometimes cunningly disguise himself with the mask of folly, as one may perceive nothing else by him, but even natural foolery: (cannot in so doing) but participate with the happy parts and conditions of a fool, which are of such sort, as the very richest and best pleased in this world, are not in any thing like, or to be compared to them.  
Witness a brave Gentleman, a younger brother, who by mishap, that his elder brother would not impart livings reasonably with him, became a fool: during which Fortune, he had this imagination, that all the ships which daily arrived in the Port of deep, were his own. By means of which persuasion, so soon as he understood of their coming thither, he would walk before them a mile and more on the land, using such kind and cheerful gestures to them; as by his words he seemed to think and assure himself, that all the merchandise on board in the Haven, appertained to himself. The like would he do, when any ships departed thence to Sea, either for Flaunders, Spain, Portugal, England, or any other country: he would vail his bonnet to them a far of, recommending them to God, wishing them fair wind, a good voyage, and speedy return. His evil hap at length was such, that his brother (in this time of folly) returning from the wars at Bologna, and seeing his brother come thus before him, with such new manner of salutations: grieving (as I think) at this his happy state of life, he delivered him into the hands of the most skilful Physicians he could find in the country, by whose industry, the happy fool returned to his former disposition of good sense: which made him afterward offended with his brother, because he had deprived him of so great recreation of spirit, which he confessed he received in his pleasing folly: whereof he yet having some small remembrance, affirmeth, that never before, or since that time, he lived more joyfully, nor better agreeing with his own mind.  
In like manner, is it not a thing highly to be commended, to see a man of mean and base condition, among the inferior and abject sort of people, by virtue of this brave kind of folly, to enter into such an humour; as to ween himself to be a Pope, an Emperor, a King, a Duke, or some great Prince or Lord? And withal, to feel in his heart, the self-same affections and contentment of mind, as accustomably are felt by such, as truly are constituted in those high dignities?  
Hereof may bear record the Lackey of a Gentleman of Anjou, who by the aid and comfort of his fortunate folly, imprinted in his mind the pontifical dignity: for the administration whereof, at a certain hour of the day, which he had obtained by licence of his master, he would lock himself apart into a chamber, with his confederates and instructed companions, who notwithstanding they mocked him, yet took great pleasure therein: and there, (after his own mind) would he appoint a Consistory, (like unto little children, that in their pastimes do counterfeit the actions of the very greatest personages,) dispatch Bulls, give benefices, create Cardinals, send ambassades, in brief, he would do all that he imagined beseemed a Pope: and when the hour was expired, he would return to his wont service.  
Think ye that he which walked thorough Paris, & notwithstanding he was all dirty bedagled, yet supposing himself to be a Cardinal or Legate, deserved no esteem in his own conceit? He that named himself to be a Prophet? He that preached & wrote himself the father of Cain? He that said he was of the lineage of Zabulon? And another, who with his Sceptre & Crown of gold glistering, thought himself to be an Emperor? Think ye not (I say) that such as these are highly contented in mind, & more (perhaps) then if they were such as they ween themselves to be? What think ye of Villemanoche, who expected the king's daughter in marriage, and would complain in all companies where he came, what wrong was done him, in that they delayed his marriage so long? Deem ye not such fools have as much, or rather more pleasure in these imaginations, than such as rightly are placed in those dignities? They have as much by these means, in that they partake not in the molestations, which oft are found in the high estates of great personages, being not troubled with governing the train belonging to their huge houses.  
I cannot well conceive the cause, why some are so suddenly waspish, when they are called fools: it may be said, that they forget the number hath been always infinite, whereby some have dared to affirm, that this world is a very Cage or mine of such people. And if all they which hold of that race, would suffer themselves to be written in the roll or paper belonging to the Prince of fools, or be registered in the Abbey of these happy people: there should not need so much strife and law, for calling one another sot or fool.  
For in sooth, it is a name that may beseem the very greatest and wisest in the world: yea, were it to the great king Solomon, who albeit he only among the Hebrews bore the title of wise: yet beside that, he well deserved the name of a fool, when he sacrificed to Idols, and entertained so long such a great number of Concubines. Also, of this name were capable the seven Sages, whom ambitious and lying Greece vaunted to bring forth and nourish: their actions and behaviour Cicero affirmeth, that whosoever will lightly run over and cull them out, shall find them to be more full of folly then wit.  
How many have been seen since the Creation of the world, that have escaped infinite dangers, only by counterfeiting folly? What might they more have done, if they had been fools indeed, when the only shadow was to them the cause of such good? How many have we known and heard of, that have been absolved of thefts, murders and other misdeeds, by supposition that they indeed were fools? Think ye that heaven doth customably give, so fair and excellent privileges to others, as to people divine and celestial?  
The farther I wade in contemplation of folly, the more pleasing I find it, and garnished with all fair commodities. See how a fool troubles himself with a kingdoms affairs, or fortifying of a City. See what pain he puts himself to, in governing an household, or partaking with one Prince or other: yet notwithstanding, we see such as are esteemed the wisest, to injury themselves hereby, and wax very old with such molestations of the mind. May it please ye to understand the difference, which I find between the fool and wise man? Regard the passions and affections in them both. First of all, the fool is not any thing curious in his meat or drink, neither cares for fine decking and clothing himself: they whom we call wise, never have enough, and never are satisfied with the goods of this world: neither can all human industry, or the very goddess abundance with her great Cornet, suffice their insatiable desires.  
Now judge hereby, which of these two come nearest the observation of God's commandment: who forbiddeth us in his Gospel, not to be careful for our food or raiment. Beside, the fool makes no esteem of honours and worldly dignities: he contemns great pre-eminences, refusing the places and seats honourable in magnificent companies. Contrariwise, they that hold themselves so wise, seek nothing at this day but worldly honour. And to attain superior dignities, they fear not to endure heat or cold, they forget the discommodity of great travail, as also loss of rest by day and night, to the hazard oftentimes of their lives so dearly beloved, and by them held in such precious account.  
The fool feels not himself provoked with so many pricks of Fortune: he meddles not with sights or combats: he hath no Lawe-pleading, nor quarrels, whereby to get or defend his goods: he hath not such pain in attending on the Court as others have, to be entertained by one or other: he yields not himself (for the miserable requital of two or three crowns) a buckler to ten thousand bullets of shot, muskets or harguebuzes: he breaks not his neck in riding post after offices, benefices or confiscations: he languishes not in pursuing the love or favour of Ladies: he pays no tax or tribute: lastly, he is not subject to any one, but liveth in perfect franchise and liberty. He is permitted and licenced, to speak what himself thinks good, touching the dealings of Princes & private persons, without encurring thereby any danger of imprisonment or corporal punishment. He hath no need of rhetorical cunning, to make himself attentively listened unto; but bestows on each one the joyous pastimes of his merriments.  
I stand in need of a whole source of eloquence, wherewith I might thoroughly paint forth and decipher, the honest virtues of most precious folly: the contrary whereof, hath been cause of the punishing of an hundred thousand injuries, and of overthrowing the intelligence and actions of many great personages. I find, that Fortune hath evermore been very careful, in bestowing particular aid upon fools, and defended them (as her most dear children) from infinite perils and dangers.  
Likewise we see by experience, that the greater part of fools live longer and more happily, than the wise do. Wherefore should we think this to be so: but because they give not themselves to any melancholy, never meddle with Lawe-causes, debates or quarrels, neither molest themselves with matters public or private? which makes me say and affirm unto ye, that folly (even as Poesy) is somewhat celestial, and filleth the hearts of her children, with a certain spirit of prophesy and divine fury: by means whereof, they seem agreeable to every one, and purchase very great esteem and favour in the eyes of Princes.  
You shall find by experience, that many great & wealthy Lords, turn their faces from company and conference with wise men, yea, such as are said to have the greatest learning: that they may entertain pleasure with a fool, and commune familiarly with him: yea, sometimes they will leave their best and most ancient servants or favourites, to delight and bestow countenance on the first fool that comes before them.  
Is it not marvelous, that we shall never see a man of great knowledge indeed: but hath some part of this precious folly in him? Though ye would produce never so many learned men, or of what profession else so every please: be they Philosophers, Orators, Painters, Statuaries, musicans, Builders, yet they have some taste hereof, and generally all people of learning whatsoever. Where shall ye find one singular Poet at this day, that doth not participate in this folly? Every one knoweth, that the Poet deepest skilled therein, is accounted most excellent. And if the great Philosopher Plato had not had, more than a reasonable portion of this divine folly; think ye that he had delivered so many fair & excellent matters, which we have at this day after his manner? And yet you are ashamed, to be accounted or called fools.  
The inventor of the Italian Cards, whereat they have a play or pastime called Tarault, did (in my conceit) very ingeniously, when he put the Deniers or moneys, and Bastons or clubs in combat together, as the very encountering of force and justice. But yet he deserved more praise, for giving (in this play) the most honourable place to the fool: as we do to the Ace, which we should rather call Nars, that in dutch signifieth a Foole. This deviser well noted the great servitude, whereto they most commonly are subject, that covet a place among the very wisest: for it behoves them to have so many discretions, so many respects, so many considerations, (wherewith the happy fool never troubleth himself;) so that they are constrained oftentimes, to submit themselves, and continue like countenance, and daily (against their natures) to seem grave and severe.  
The Fool doth not repose any confidence in his own wisdom, neither hath recourse to the subtlety and deceits of this world. He never rests himself on the support and favour of other, whereby any harm may happen to him: for God hath him in his custody and safeguard. Which is a word, whereat (our Cato's at this day) will easily enter into choler. But they must lightly pass it over, and by constraint of verity confess it true (if they will give but never so little regard to the holy Scriptures:) there they shall find, that the wisdom of this world hath been more sharply taxed, and with more grievous arrests condemned, than folly. And yet our bold over-weeners, will go contrary to this divine word: to take part with that, which God the Creator, not only hath reproved among men, but likewise greatly hateth.  
I find that the very greatest, and most renowned Nations in Europe, have (long while since) gotten some title or mark of folly. To begin with the Gauls, did not Saint Paul call them foolish Gallathians? Albeit the prowess and strength, which they have daily shown in deeds of Arms: may sufficiently testify from East to West, yea, even to the Antipodes; at the end and limits of which regions, hath their Ensigns been most bravely displayed. The Portugals by their haughty enterprise (who notwithstanding have been reputed foolish) passed so far as the Indias: where with loss and damage of their men, they conquered many places in those Countries, and got by these means, the commodity to traffic with many places, before not inhabited.  
This is it which makes them so proud in the trade of merchandise, and brag of the excellency of their Lishbone, enriched with so fair a port of the sea, also two so well proportioned mountains, at the entrance, and the flood with golden sands. As for the Germans, it is well known that they have a large share herein: especially they, who (in imitation of women or children,) so often change into many opinions, and masters services. For this it may be said, that Caesar in his Commentaries did them not so much honour, as to call them valiant champions, or prudent in affairs of war.  
If we will pass so far as into Italy, we shall find many goodly and noble Cities among the rest, that serve as great or very fair Cages, to fools of all fashions, and that they are (in favour of such an esteemed matter) the most honourably situated in all the Country; and by the great number of fools contained in them, they are divinely embellished and inritched, with the very chiefest excellencies, and noble privileges that can be desired. That this is true, let us consider the excellent situation of ancient Sienna, for the honest liberty whereof, the King (not many days past) so earnestly travailed. You shall there behold, as a matter of antiquity (to preserve fools in health) erected a pleasant & beautiful building, environed with the most sweet and gracious air in the world, garnished with rich and honourable lodgings: villages near hand of great receipt, natural Baths very pure and healthful. Moreover, as with men, so is it well furnished & adorned with Ladies gentle and courteous, young people so well disposed as may be, good musicans and Rhetoricians, as any city else thereabout: except the ancient University adjoining, and the new Academy of the Intronatis, who by the means of their so highly favoured folly, do (in time of peace) things of incomparable pleasure and recreation.  
What shall I say to ye of Parma? where to maintain fools in pastimes, is a very fair plain of grass, rounded & neighboured with many pleasant mountains? How fertile is it likewise of noble and puissant families, and courageous soldiers; who by virtue of their singular folly, being assisted with the aid and secure of the French, are redoubted and feared of all their neighbour countries? I will hold my peace of the Parmesane cheese, whereof, notwithstanding that I have tasted, yet I cannot forbear but say in my heart: that if for that meat our Father Adam had transgressed, in my conceit he had been somewhat excusable, nor should I (after taste thereof) have any desire to the Nectar and Ambrosia of great jupiter.  
O how they of Verona, Brescia and Venice were beholding to worthy folly, when they made answer to K. Lewes the twelfth, that they were wise enough: whereby they constrained him, to send them so many Frenchmen as were accounted fools, because their wisdom and magnificence, knew not how to resist th'others force & prowess. So were the fools of the said king, Regentes and masters over the wise Venetians, as before they had been over the Genewaies & Millaineses: & as long time before that, the fools that were led by the great French Captain, were masters over the mighty and wise Romans'.  
Too long would the rehearsal be, of fools and Arch fools, that are to be found enclosed within the Cities of Italy. Wherefore to finish this discourse, I will thus frame my conclusion, that fools ought to be singularly esteemed and commended: because God doth them so much favour, as he hath chosen (by them) to confound and overthrow the wisdom of this world: withal, that the most noble Cities & puissant Nations, aught to be esteemed much more for folly, than wisdom.   

For him that hath lost his worldly Honours and Preferments.  
Declamation, 6. That a man ought not to be grieved, though he be despoiled of his goods and honours.  
I Am not a little abashed, for what cause the noble men of our time, make so much ado, and move such quarrel and contention, for the loss of their frail and slippery estates: seeing it followeth upon necessity, that one day they must needs be dispossessed and taken from them, if not by force, yet by the means of death, who, of his own nature, imposeth an end on all things. And I see no cause or reason, why they (being subject to so many humane passions and fortunes, as even the very poorest & basest condition in the world:) should presume and hazard themselves, before so many persons, (of greater valour perhaps then themselves) for advancement and superiority, and yet they take scorn to be made of like metal as they are, to whom by right of nature, they are altogether equal & semblable.  
An excellent Philosopher, and of very great reputation in his time, maintained, that the rich had ever some occasion, to contend with their riches and temporal goods, as also beautiful persons with their bodily graces: But the greatest and most excellent contention, that men ought indeed to have among themselves, were to strive, who should surmount each other in gentleness and honesty: and the very highest pre-eminence, that should be sought for in this world, were to envy one another, who should be most liberal, courteous and affable.  
For this cause, Dioclesian was praised & esteemed, among the wise men of his time, when by his modesty, he deigned to make refusal of the Roman Empire, which then was far greater and better provided, then ever it had been before: in imitation of whom, many other great persons, have since been moved to do the like. Such an one was the Uncle to great king Charlemagne, who became a Monk at Mont Cassin, where he lived the remainder of his years, most holy and religiously: drawing (by his example) to the like, many Barons and great Lords of the Realm of France.  
Antiochus' King of Syria, being by the Romans' deprived and deposed from the jurisdiction which he had by the mountain Taurus: came and rendered solemn thanks therefore to the Senate, commending them; because hereby he found himself well delivered and disburdened, of such a great & weighty molestation. Heracleus and Galerian, in like manner eased & discharged themselves, from the superiority & rule they had over the people: & gave their delight altogether to the pleasure of husbandry. And why hath not the like mind continued since then, in the hearts of our Noble men to this instant? What mean our wise men, that they dissuade not the fancies of great Lords, from this endless heat and desire of rule, which bringeth nothing else therewith, but an over-fervent and ambitious will? That it is so, look where such covetous and ambitious men bear sway: there is slender justice, the rich eat the poor, and the Nobles outrage the Peasants.  
The Inhabitants of the Isle Taprobane, had (in mine opinion) a very worthy and commendable custom, when they used to elect for their Prince and Governor, such an one among them; whom they had known and had proof of a long time, to be a true desirer of the profit of their weal public: and him likewise, by right and semblable order, they would again deject and depose, if by any means he swerved or changed from his right course. I have heard, that they of Dace and Bohemia went very near this custom: but it came to pass, that since those times, they could not make choice of any better. I could wish, that such as deserve the government of Signiories and common weals, should be drawn and compelled thereto (as it were) perforce: and by the same means, the gate to be barred against covetousness, greediness, ambition, violence and deceit.  
But what makes me speak thus? Marry because I have known in Italy, certain Lords & governors of the people, to lead their lives after a very strange course or manner, bearing capital hatred to their poor subjects: Lords that have had no other care, but here and there licentiously to revel, and dishonour the very honestest maidens in their jurisdiction, drawing them violently (by means of certain ruffians, which they entertain as hounds only for this vile purpose) forth of the best houses in their towns and Cities.  
Poor blind men, destitute of natural sense, is this the manner your elders taught ye, whereby to rule and guide your subjects? Was it thus, that the good Lords of times past, the virtuous Princes, as well Ecclesiastical as secular (whom Homer would so honourably call, pastors of the people) were wont to do? This so beastlike and dishonest custom, doth it any jot savour of true Christianity? They are no pastors that commit such insolences: they are ravening wolves, and destroyers of all human society.  
Some are to be found in Italy, and elsewhere, to whom is publicly given this fair report, that they diligently inquire after their people, not to chastise or reform their vices and bad behaviour: but contrariwise, to inquire secretly, who amongst them hath the best purse, and after knowledge thereof, seek some coverture to make them lose their goods: subborning false witnesses against them, who without any reason, shall inform false plaints or quarrels against them: or else by grievous injuries and outrages, provoke them to undertake Arms, where likewise, false villains (appointed for the nonce) taking some intended cause of offence, presently inform or complain against them, and having seized on their bodies, afterward (by these means) their riches comes into the lords hand, who (under colour of justice,) causeth them to be condemned by judges, in grievous pains and amercements: so getting subtly (yet with some colour of excuse) their goods, by way of confiscation. Cruelty well beseeming a Tragedy, and which (since the creation of the world) was never the like heard of.  
A Baron of Lombardie one day made this brag, as for a great proof and example of his singular virtue & prowess; that (not long before) he had gotten the spoil of one of his mightiest subjects, emptiing his Garners, seizing on his goods perforce, proceeding even to the imprisonment of his body. The matter objected against him, (by forged witnesses at the lords appointment,) was, that he had run the Hare, and flown the Partridge upon his land: albeit the poor honest Gentleman, was more ready to chase a good piece of Beef than Hares, and had never run (far of near) after strange beasts or birds. Yet notwithstanding this good deed, the honest minded Baron (which matter most of all displeaseth me) would make profession of sanctity, religion and devotion.  
Lord God, that thy patience is thus great, nor is it without great reason, that thou art called full of patience and longanimity: seeing that so sweetly thou endurest the dealings, of these so cruel and insupportable monsters, brought forth & borne on the earth, only to consume and devour thy poor people. Assure ye, that I have seen in the kingdom of Naples, many monsters of this fashion and nature, having hearts like Lions, and nails like Griffons, to whom nothing seemed impossible, concerning inhumanity and impiety.  
And with these few examples, I am constrained to content myself, without spending time to bring ye other proofs, for defence of this present occasion: because the grief I both find and feel, in rehearsing these enormities, driveth me into over great affliction, making my heart so weak and feeble, as all the residue of my vital powers want their helping use.  
Now in truth let us thus reason a while. What is he who will deny, that such deeds and behaviour of life, is not sufficient to provoke the anger of God against us? And to cause, that those Lords, through long space of time, that they have thus ruled & held their places, should in a moment be elsewhere transported? Think ye, if the very greatest Lords, aswell spiritual as temporal, would at this day do their endeavour, and employ themselves night and day (as best beseems them) to well govern and admonish their people: we should find such a number of men, to covet and reach after kingdoms and Signiories, as now we do? and such as are so malcontent, to be deprived of their great charges and vexations, as now with grief we may behold?  
It is then (in conclusion) great folly in any Lord, to be displeased or offended at the loss of his honours and livings: but rather with such fortunes he ought to rejoice and be glad, as being (by so good occasion) discharged of a burden so grievous and heavy. For this is my opinion, that it were better for him to lose his worldly estate and dignity, than himself to be thereby lost and destroyed for ever.   

For Drinkers.  
Declamation, 7. That Drunkenness is better than Sobriety.  
I Did heretofore (so briefly as I could) deliver unto ye, the great excellence and noble nature of wine: that I might afterward infer, in what great honour & reputation he ought to be, that especially loves it, and longest continueth in delight thereof. And albeit it seemeth to many, a very hard and laborious enterprise, by reason of the abundance of good words and well conveyed language: wherewith it is necessary they should be thoroughly furnished in such a cause: yet nevertheless, will I boldly deliver my opinion, though I am unfurnished of that divine fury, which ordinarily worketh marvelous matters in our spirits; whereof (in this need) might I receive never so little favour, I should far better satisfy your desires, that are bend with attention, to hear what I can say in this matter.  
To proceed in our discourse, I find that the great virtue and excellence of wine, hath been of our elders so entirely known and approved: that the highly esteemed Asclepiades did it so much honour, as to couple the faculties and virtues thereof, with them of the very chiefest Gods. Which is agreeable with the consent of holy scripture, whereby was autenticallie pronounced, that wine was sent to men, as by the especial grace and immortal gift of God, therewith oftentimes to refresh and recreate their spirits, over much weakened and travailed with long cares, which they suffer continually in this world. And herewith altogether agreeth the opinion of good Homer, in many places of his divine Poesy. And whosoever shall require of me greater proof & assurance, I pray them to consider, how that truth itself (which is the thing that hath, and yet at this day doth overrule the greatest case in the world) from all antiquity, holdeth principal consent with wine. This is it which made place for the ancient proverb, known sufficiently of every one, that in Wine is truth to be found: wherein fools, children and drunken men, are most accustomed to display it.  
Wherefore I cannot sufficiently marvel, at the great fault of learned Democritus, who would sometimes maintain, that truth lodgeth herself in the bottom of a well: this is greatly against the advise and opinion of all the Greeks', which evermore defended, that her lodging continually was in Wine. Whereto very well consenteth Horace, one of the most excellent Latin Poets; who so sound confirmed this matter in his learned verses, made and composed by the help of this sweet liquor, wherewith his stomach so plentifully abounded, as he could deliver it back again forth at his eyes. To the same purpose, the great Philosopher Plato would prove and maintain, that wine was a very firm and sure foundation of men's spirits: by the favour and virtue whereof, I may easily conjecture, that he found the invention of his goodly Ideas, of his numbers, and of his laws so magnificent: also that with the aid of this sweet drink, he spoke so deeply on the gracious argument of love, and likewise disposed his so well ordered Commonwealth. Withal, he defended, that the Muses flourished far and near, in the very smell of Bacchus' liquor: and the Poet that drunk not profoundly thereof, could frame no verse excellent, high-reaching, or of good measure.  
But leaving verse and Poesy, let us come to the kind drinkers of clear water: I would willingly demand of them, what good they can receive in this world, by using such an unsavoury drink? In the first place, how can a drinker of water well accomplish household duty: when the natural seed is more moist than any thing else, and less strong for the procreation of children? Which is the cause such people are always weak, feeble, sick and colour-lesse. Likewise, ye never saw a drinker of water, but was deprived of the true strength of all his members, and hardy courage of heart. He hath so little stomach, & so weak an appetite to digest his meats; as commonly his life is short, or else unhealthful. For this cause it was, that Saint Paul, knowing Timothy (albeit he was very young, & in the strength of his age) to take delight in drinking nothing but water: admonished him, to use therewith a little wine, if it were but for the only health of his stomach, and prevention of such diseases, whereto (by his complexion) he was overmuch subject.  
I await upon this point, the reply of some opiniative person, who will tell me, that such was not the advise of Cistus Bullengerus, nor yet of Novellus Tricongius, who drank three measures of wine daily, called Congii, which contained three gallons and three pints of our measure: for which the Emperor Tiberius promoted him to honour, and at the last made him Consul of Rome. I again reply on the contrary, that such was the opinion, of the most wise and prudent king of all ancient memory, who said in his proverbs, that wine comforteth and refresheth the hearts of men: likewise, it is witnessed by the consent and testimony of all Physicians, as the most singular remedy to chase grief from the mind of man.  
But if peradventure, some misbelieving humanist, will not give so much credit to the word of so great a wise man, as to the precepts of ancient Physicians: let him then consider and note well, what at this day is to be found written by Hypocrates, Galen & Oribasus: that wine serveth for a medicine to the cold and dulled sinews; giveth comfort to the weary and travailed eyes, bestoweth an appetite on the tast-lesse stomach; rejoiceth the sad and afflicted spirits; banisheth the imbecility of the members; giveth warmth to the body; provoketh urine, restraineth casting; moveth sleep; taketh away ill digestion; consumeth moist humours; and maketh a kindly consent in the body. Galen saith moreover, that wine greatly availeth against wearisome complexion of age; moveth the hearts of men to force and prowess; recreateth natural heat; and giveth vigour to the spirits.  
O how well did that good Lady Hecuba (of whom Homer speaketh so honourably) know the precious nature of wine: when (above all things) she exhorted her valiant son Hector, to cheer up and revive his members, wearied by continual travail he endured in Arms, with drinking of this divine liquor? The virtue whereof, learned Pindarus knew well enough, which made him a peerless heroical Poet: never could he have accomplished his so high and excellent Poem, by the virtue and goodness of water, but changing his style, into the great praise & noble description of the virtue of wine: the chiefest & most notable men in the world, made likewise such price and estimation thereof, as the more part of them joined on his side, and marched under his Ensign. For example, let us remember the holy man Noah, who first planted the vine, and the favour that he bore to wine. Neither was it less loved by Agamemnon, Mark Anthony, Lucius Cotta, Demetrius Tiberius and their children, Bonosus, Alcibiades, Homer, Ennius Paccu●ius, Cossus, Philip, Heraclides and many other, who (for this cause) were never reputed the less wise or virtuous.  
And if we should need, to make a more ample discourse on this behalf, by such nations as were addicted to this drink: we shall find, that the Tartars greatly subjecteth themselves thereto: and much more the Persians, whose custom was, to consult of their gravest and greatest matters of importance, amongst their cups and bottles of wine. And so were the Germans want to do, according as Tacitus witnesseth, making the description of their complexions. The Macedonians in like manner, were beyond all things else great lovers of wine: for whom, their Emperor Alexander instituted, the most brave fight of drinking with carousing.  
King Mithridates was greatly given to wine: and yet (for all that) ceased not to war manfully against the Romans', for the space of forty years together. I am very sorry, that I want apt words, and terms worthy, whereby to express the singular virtue, which wine of itself bestoweth on the hearts of men: I am well assured, that if I could recount them all unto ye, they would drive ye into no little marvel or admiration.  
But say now in sooth, doth not wine deserve supreme praises, in making a sluggard or gross conceited person, to become a sweet, pleasant and affable, man? A Lourden or lobcock, to be a man apt and skilful? Of a coward or faint hearted craven, to make a man hardy, bold and courageous? who (without this mean) should find himself alone, and even stark naked, as it were, though he be engirt with a thousand other defences. Hath not Greece by the means of wine, won fame and honour thorough all Europe? And in like case Bohemia and Germany? what shall I say of Polonia, and generally of all Dalmatia? What is spoken of Italy, I will refer myself to the report of Pliny, who writes, that drunkenness reigned there in his time in such sort: as they would not only drink themselves underfeets, but likewise compel their horses and mares to drink wine unmeasurably: so much was drunkenness (through all parts of the world) praised, celebrated, and held in such account and esteem, as he that would not be drunk, at the least once a month, was not reputed a friendly companion.  
Young Cyrus would needs be accounted worthy to rule, because he especially, undertook to drink a greater quantity of wine, than any other in his kingdom: yet felt he not thereby any perturbation of spirit. Plutarch, in the life of Lycurgus, gives this good note to the Spartans, that it was a custom amongst them, to wash their new born children's noses and eyes with wine: to make them more strong, healthful, and the better able to endure all pains whatsoever. Infinite power of wine, in how many kinds dost thou show & deliver thyself helpful to men? well hast thou acquainted them with sufficient proof of thy virtue, when the very lest part of thy power, can abate and utterly destroy the strength of deadly Hemlock.  
Wherefore do ye think good Hesiodus, recommended and enjoined by his learned verses, that twenty days before the rising of the dog star, and twenty days after: only pure wine should be drunk, without tasting one drop of water? If this custom had been entertained and observed, by the great Lycurgus of Thrace: he had not been so dishonestly cast headlong into the Sea, for putting water into his wine. To this effect serves us, the opinion of Celsus, a very excellent Physician, who among other precepts, ordained (touching the government of health) to drink sometimes beyond measure. And to proceed a little further, let us consider, how many profitable medicines, baths & emplasters are made with wine: and the Hircanes would wash the bodies of their dead with wine, either to purify them, or perhaps, because they imagined, that by the virtue of this good liquor, they might be recalled or brought to life again.  
Marvel not then if good drink be pleasing to common people, seeing we find, that the very wisest and best learned, have always maintained the law, held and allowed among the Greeks' in their meetings and banquets, which was: that so soon as any one came among them, during their feast time, they would constrain him to drink, or get him gone: which yet at this day is observed in Germany, if not of all, yet at the least of the greater number.  
I will not blab, that the puissance of wine had sometime such authority: as to make the sienneses take Arms, and thereby to obtain such victories, as are worthy to be registered in perpetual Annals. Nor will I tell, how in the year of the foundation of Rome, three hundred and eighteen: Luc●us Pyrrhus was sent against the Sarmates, whom by the aid of wine only, he conquered, made subject, and yielded tributary to the people of Rome. Wine was afterward in so great reputation with our forefathers: as Mezentius, to recover only some quantity thereof for his disease (according as Varro hath left to usin writing) gave secure to the Rutillians against the Latins.  
And if it were lawful in this case, to produce holy Scripture, do we not find, that our Lord, at the wedding in Cana of Galilee, miraculously vouchsafed, to change water (being a thing less good and excellent) into wine most delicate and precious? With wine were the wounds of the poor Samaritane washed. And beside, some say, that good old Abraham made his daily offerings to God, with the best wine in his vaults.  
I could willingly proceed further in this matter, which especially pleaseth me beyond all other: were it not, I have always shunned odious prolixity: wherefore I will stay myself in this place; earnestly entreating each one of ye, to embrace this so sweet desire of wine, and to forsake the simple course of sobriety, because it maketh men so melancholy, and bestows on them such slender strength and vigour courage.   

For Sterility.  
Declamation, 8. That the barren woman is more happy, than the childbearing.  
I Know not by what reason it should be maintained, that barrenness is in any sort hurtful or offensive: considering it is the mean, to make strange affected and fantastical woman, to become more pleasing, benign, & ready to obey her husband. Which contrariwise is not commonly found in a fruitful woman: who never wanteth height of heart, and such bold hardiness withal, as is marvelous to note. Nor is it without reason, considering the woman beholds so many fair and pretty children, that depend only upon her commandment, and with so great reverence obey her words or signs: hereby she is puffed up in such sort, as she thinks she should not be a wife, or companion to her husband only, but indeed, Lady and mistress over her house and family.  
And if (for example) the reports of fundry places might serve, I would (above all other) willingly persuade ye to this one. That I being one day at Lions, devising privately with a very fair and young woman, as is the manner in this City here: we entered into talk, concerning the brave fashion of a garment, which one of his neighbour's ware, and had caused newly to be made. When I gave her council, to have such another: she began to sigh marvelously. Now I knew her husband to be rich enough, able to content her in a greater desire, and not to give her one, but a dozen far better: wherefore Lady (quoth I) why speak ye not to your husband, who can and will herein satisfy ye? She answered, she durst not, neither would she require it, because she had not yet as so well deserved: but if it pleased God to favour her so much, as to send her one or two sweet young babes, she should have the means to ask of him other things than a new gown. It happened according to her wish, that a year after, she was delivered of two male children at one burden, so soon as she saw her desire accomplished: she, who before had been so kind and loving to her husband, began to hold all her household in such subjection, as the poor Gentleman had no better help, but even to forsake his house: now behold what fruit comes by this kind of domestical increase.  
As for the advantages that ensue by barrenness: I find so great a number of them, as it is impossible for me to acquaint ye with them all. First of all, if thou have a barren wife: consider, thou shalt not need to do as many do, nurse other folk's children. It shall not displease thee, to hear the stir she makes, when thy wife is sick with child: nor shalt thou abide the painful trouble, during the month of her downe-liing: nor shalt thou hear the cryings and cradle-noise, to waken thee out of thy first sleep. Thou shalt be free from the strifes, and perpetual molestations, of injurious and unnatural nurse's. And to conclude, thou shalt not feel that yikesome anguish: in seeing them die by thee, or in thy presence.  
Witness hereof let serve the wise Solon, who being one day gone to visit his friend Thales, that then for more quietness of study, was gone not far off from the City of Myletum. And seeing no children go up and down before his house, he marveled greatly thereat, and conceived but rudely of Thales, that he had no care of lineage to ensue him. Thales within few days after, would return the like to his companion, and came to visit him even in his lodging. And while they discoursed on many things, there entered to them a young Lad (who before had been instructed for the purpose by Thales:) he said, that he was come from Athens to see the Philosopher, and to inquire, if he would command him any thing thither, for which cause only came now to salute him. Solon diligently inquired of him, if he knew any matter of news, and how all things fared at Athens. The young youth answered, he knew no other thing, but the death of an honest & wise young man, for whom all the City mourned and lamented at his departing; because he was said to be the son of a wise Philosopher of that City, who as then was absent, and every one accounted well of him, but his name he had then utterly forgotten. O poor and unhappy father (cried out Solon) being moved with fear and trembling.  
Then afterward, carrying suspicion of his own son in his mind, he could not forbear from demanding, if perhaps the name of the dead child's father, was not Solon? he answered, that it was Solon, for so he heard him called. Then the poor Philosopher began to weep, and to beat his head against the fair walls: so that if he had not swooned in the place, he was in danger, had the doors been open, to have run into the fields, and there have ranged up and down as mad or frantic. Thales seeing himself revenged, and that he had prevailed enough against him: after he had dawned him to remembrance, by the help of vinegar and cold water, he said. Now thou seest Solon, the cause which hath withheld me so carefully, from listening to the desire of children: in that it can so easily offend the sense of such a man as thou art, whom I esteemed the firmest and most constant in the world. Afterward, he let him understand the fallacy, to show him, whence proceeded his slender affection to have any lineage.  
I would feign learn of him, that is so earnestly this way addicted: how doth a woman know what her children will be, when she hath brought them forth? For but by the issue of women, had ever the Roman Empire been tormented with such horrible monsters, as were Caligula, Nero, Commodus, and Bascianus? Had they ever lived upon the earth, if Marcus Antonius, Domitian and Septimius had not been married, or at least had met with barren women?  
Augustus would often wish, that of his wives he might never have children, and would many times call his daughter and Niece two horseleeches, that destroyed and eat up his days, with great and extreme griefs. The self-same words might poor Agrippina have used, who was mother to the cruel and hated Nero. Likewise the good father to Phraates K. of Parthia, when he beheld his son so cruelly slain; and at length, without any remorse of conscience, the homicidiall sword to be sheathed, in his own poor and overwearied aged body.  
Epaminondas, a king of so high spirit and most noble wisdom, lived a long time without marrying, when being one day reproached and bearded by Pelops, as in the way of reprehension, for making no regard of procreation of children, for aid of the common wealth, which already declined and fell to ruin: he returned him this quick answer. Take heed that thou hast not done worse than I for the Common wealth, by such seed as thou shalt leave behind thee. Hereon they elected one of his sons: who was of such an infamous and wicked disposition, as he hoped for nothing more, then to bring all things to confusion.  
What shall I say of Mithridates, who by desire to succeed in the kingdom of Pontus (seeing the ambushes he had secretly prepared against his father, sorted to none effect:) made open war against him, & assailed him very dishonourably, for to depose him? And what may be said of Lotharius, son to K. Lewes, who having suspicion, that he was not so well beloved as his brother Charles: found the means to imprison his father? I might in this place produce the deed of C. Thuranius Antipater, of Gal●en, son to the Emperor Valerian: and of infinite other homicides, or rather parricides. But I will not trouble ye with multitude of examples, in a matter not to be any way gainsaid.  
Believe me that will, but I hold as a matter doubtless, that barrenness is a most singular remedy, against the piercing thorns of household life: which by better means (than this only) cannot be escaped or prevented. And I believe for certainty, that this would be a sovereign medicine, against the private malice of children: except by good hap, the divine plant called Hermetiae could be gotten, which whosoever useth (if Democritus be not a liar) not only shall engender honest children and well disposed; but likewise very fair and gracious.  
But I stand in doubt that this herb is lost: for which of the skilfullest, and most diligent herbalists of our time, that ever knew it? Or where is the hand that ever planted or gathered it? If nothing can be found in Dioscorides, in Crescentius, or in Plateairus, all good Apothecaries: I think assuredly, that this plant is altogether lost for our time: seeing by good proof we now behold, children so disobedient, being liars, Tavern hunters, Gamesters, swearers, and (for conclusion) capital enemies to all virtue. Then doubt not, but that good Democritus imagined this herb, or dreamt on some other thing: or else that he saw and knew it, after he had put out his own eyes, to become thereby the better Philosopher.  
I thus conclude then, that a barren woman is much better than a fruitful: and let us not be careful to have such store of children, seeing they have done harm to so many persons. As for myself, I was sometime of contrary opinion: but soon after I began to repent myself, seeing that how many children soever a man hath; if they be strong, they are but so many servants to princes: if they be of spirit and know aught, then make they slender account of their parents. Some give themselves to law and estate of justice, others to lay hold on benefices, & others to follow new opinions, which makes them oftentimes fall from aloft, to a hotter place then willingly they would: but if voluptuous pleasures once catch hold on them, God knows what honour they do then to their lineage.  
It was my chance sometime to be in a Country, thick beset with barren mountains, where ordinarily was to be seen, an infinite throng of Potters or drudging penny-getters, whereof daily resorted to Venice a very great number: so that when any child happened to be borne in that country, the inhabitants would say (as a common Proverb) this is a young Ass for the Venetian.  
If I should recite the latest comforts that children bring us, I must borrow the words used in France: that in their youth, they befog their fathers and mothers, and when they are great, they serve for nothing but to vexethem. Consider what pleasure they bring to their parents, when news is heard of them, that they have been abroad all night keeping ill rule, and then come home with their heads broken, their arms shivered in pieces, their ears cut off: Or if word be brought their fathers, that they are in prison for some battery, or carried to the Galleys for some theft, or that they have gotten the soul disease, or (to make amends for their misbehaviour) they have beaten the servants of the house, broken perforce their father's counting houses, and then fled away with all the money. Then when they are returned again, if the good man but show himself aggrieved: answer is made, he may be ashamed in so doing.  
I have at the tongues end, an infinite number more of troubles to recount, which issue from this goodly increase: but for the present time I am content to omit them, and now to use silence, to shun offence as well of you as myself, who with very ill will do speak of such matters.   

For the Exiled.  
Declamation, 9 That it is better to be banished, than continue in Liberty.  
IF such as are mighty and virtuous, take no displeasure by being banished or sent into exile: what need they fear, that have not so much to lose, their hearts not reaching so high, nor their minds addicted to so great enterprises? A Philisopher, a man of council and prudence, execised in affairs for the weal public: a Captain or ruler of a City, may with some reason find himself aggrieved, and sorry to be sent away thorough report, malice or otherwise, in that he exercised his authority to the benefit of every one, and notwithstanding, whatsoever pains he took, yet he had therein delight and pleasure.  
Nevertheless, we find left by the most expert and ancientest, that they reputed exile to be an honour and contentment of their minds. Witness hereof is the honest answer of good Diogenes, to him that reproved him (as with a matter ignominious) because the Sinopians had banished him their country. Quoth he, this rather ought to return far greater shame to thee, that thou hast never been forth of thy country: resembling Oysters herein, that never dare come forth of their shells, but are continually beaten against stones and rocks. As hurtful (in my opinion) is the want of courage herein, and such as are ignorant of the great number of privileges, which the banished have in their exile: whereof I will make some bre●fe recital, to deliver ye from occasion of marvel, why many of our elders (with good will) made choice of exile, and did so patiently endure the same.  
First of all I may say, that the banished give no cause to others, of falling into the sin of envy, and during the time of their flight or absence, very few are so bold as to ask them money for interest: for each one knows well enough, that poor exiles have rather more need of their help, than hindrance. Wherefore they may without blushing, or using any other conscience, borrow the more easily, importuning & disquieting them they have to deal withal: for under this advantage of being out of their country, and given to understand, that their goods are confiscated: they may without any other oration require the aid and secure of every one.  
The banished finds himself not troubled with lodging strangers; nor is indebted or bound to making of banquets; to attire himself sumptuously; bear Arms day and night, to go honourably accompanied companied for the credit of his house; to show himself brave and magnificent. But he may well vaunt, if so he think it good, that when he was in his country: he kept a table for all comers; did wonders; was rich and honourably attired, and had the train of a brave Cavalier after him. Beside, it will be no dishonour to the man exiled, if he keep not always his promise, or make delivery of that he stands bound for, at the time by him prefixed. And so it happens, that many seem satisfied, by acknowledging their good turns, or promise of paying all, if ever they may return into their long desired Country.  
And doubt not, but many desire to partake with this goodly privilege, for sparing of expenses, and to deliver themselves from very great troubles. For the banished are not bound, to keep a house garnished with all provisions: they are rid of continual keeping company with their wives, who cease not to storm, strike and fight, first with one, then with an other, according to the quality of most house keepers. They hear not so often their young children brawl, murmur or be peevish, demanding first one thing, than another: neither see they the privy hidings of their men servants and maids, which is such an evil, as the subtilest in the house sometimes knows not how to defend.  
This the good Anasangris of Sparta well knowing, and that exile was not a matter so offensive, in regard of the privileges before named: sent an answer in writing to one of his friends, that he took it in no ill part, to be sent forth of his Country. But rather (quoth he) I ought to grieve the abandoning of justice, reason, and society of all good things: then the country which thou so dearly esteemest. The parting wherewith, should be the less irksome to thee, because when thou leavest it: thou forsakest likewise infinite griefs & tribulations, which it bringeth to such as are besotted therewith.  
And in sooth, less grievous and troublesome to us are the calamities of our country, when we are far off, then when we are near at hand. Nor is the report, of the death or hurt of a friend, so offensive as the sight. Being far from civil discords, and sadness of Magistrates: we take no care for being called to council; nor whether the officers of the City do their duty, or keep their accounts even. We shall not hear the difference of our Countrymen among themselves, stand croutching to borrow, nor listen to the quarrels and strifes between neighbours. But contrariwise, we shall see ourselves free from all molestations: and oftentimes meet in the fields with better fortunes, than we could have done in the City.  
I have known some, that have lived more commodiously and pleasantly out of their houses, then if they had continued in them: for there they could not make a little cheer, without Saint julian's Pater Noster, or being half-crucified. Abroad is daily found some one, who hath pity on the stranger: and one would not imagine, what kindness and tenderness of heart, poor needy widows show to the banished. Agamemnon returning from the expedition of Troy, & threatened by his father Telamonius, to be thrust from his country into exile: I know not father (quoth he) any other country to be affected, then that whereinto a man is best welcome. If exile had been reputed a thing evil and hateful, by the wisest and most prudent persons of times past (as many for want of other matter, would gladly allege:) should we then find so many virtuous people, that so voluntarily and cheerfully embraced it, as did Metellus, Numidicus, and many other of great renown?  
Calaster, commanded to exile by the Athenians, received his banishment for so great a blessing, as (at his departure) he would not have any thing known thereof to his very dearest friends: and for fear by them he should be again revoked to his country, he very strictly forbade them by his letters, not to travail any jot for his return: accounting it much better, to end his days in poor tranquillity, out of his country; then among riches full of tribulation, and business of the City, to languish in the place of his birth.  
Demetrius' Phalerean, sent in exile to Thebes, was most highly displeased with his fortune, and durst not show it to Crates the Philosopher; because (according to the manner of Ciniques) he lived very poorly and obscurely. Within a while after, the Philosopher Crates came to visit him, whom when he had saluted, he revealed to him so good a discourse, in praise and commendation of exile: as Demetrius (suddenly recovering his better senses) began to account it for a great glory, that he had been banished. So soon afterward as he came home again, he blamed very much the opinion, and forgetful iudgementhe had before, and the troublesome state of his affairs: which had so long held and detained him, from joying in a life so excellent as banishment was. We shall find few men of valour or worth, that have escaped this fortune: and if he we would confess the truth, this harm (if harm it may be called) hath more commonly and ordinarily fallen on men of virtue, then on any other.  
For proof thereof, Hannibal, after he had endured so many travails, in service of his ingrateful common weal: was he not banished by the Carthagenians? was he not deprived of his so dear beloved City, by the Athenians? Noble Theseus, who had done so many memorable things, worthy of eternal honour and praise, only by means of his virtue: was he not chased forth of his Country, which he had so amplified and enlarged? The like was done to Solon by the Athenians: whom (in recompense of ordering their laws and manner of life) they made to end his latest days in the Isle of Cyprus. The virtuous and puissant Miltiades, by whose means were vanquished about thirty thousand Persians: died in this blessed state of exile. Like happened as a reward to valiant Camillus: after he had so often given succour to his noble country. trajan the just, when he was chosen Emperor, was in exile.  
Banished was the learned Aristotle, and worthy Themistocles, constrained to get him gone from his Country: the like befell to Alcibiades. What regard had the Ephesians to the virtues of Hermodorus, when they banished him out of their Country? Rutillius could not resist like fortune; nor poor Cicero, on whom the Romans' bestowed this favour of exile, for a recompense, because he had preserved their public estate, beside many other innumerable good turns. Now what is he, that in heart would not wish, to be in perpetual exile, with so many good and honourable companions? Perhaps it may be some coward, heartless, strengthless, courage-lesse or councel-lesse creature.  
I should be overlong, in showing ye by divers ways and examples, that exile is a thing neither evil nor hurtful: but at this present I am forced to forbear, not so much for fear of offending your delicate ears: but because I remember, that the most eloquent Master john Boccace, writing to a Florentine friend of his, hath already discoursed very amply on this argument. Wherefore I will here conclude this matter, after I have entreated your good wills, by that which heretofore hath been said: to combine the sundry profits issuing from exile and banishment, with the small grief or harm, which a heart not over-weake and slothful, may receive thereby.  
The rather, because by reason it is more to be desired, or (at the least) liberally endured and supported: before irksome licence and liberty, that by testimony of the old Comic Poet, makes us ordinarily more wicked, and given to all kind of vices: never elevating or exercising so much, the spirits of men well borne and instructed in all virtues, as doth the precious state of banishment.   

For infirmity of the Body.  
Declamation, 10. That it is better to be sick, then always healthful.  
THe advise of the most ancient wise men, hath evermore been, that the feeble and weak complexion of our bodies; hath at all times served as a sovereign advertisement, to the holy life of sobriety and parsimony. Wherefore I dare maintain, against him that will strive to justify the contrary: that perpetually this virtuous dame hath been adversary, to men's vain pleasures and idle lubricities, even as the most sovereign mistress of all humility and modesty,  
True it is, that (at the first sight) she seemeth scant pleasing, or rather very offensive to some natures: but they consider not at all, the special good she doth to men, by continual exhorting them to all constancy, and hope of immortality: bringing so many times to the memory of the mind, the most pitiful and miserable frailty of our earthly bodies. This was it that moved Stilpo the Philosopher, to make comparison of a sick man, to one found in a prison fore crazed, and shivered (as it were) in many parts of his body, by means of the manifest ruins, from which he speedily hopes to pass, & enter into perpetual liberty.  
In like manner I believe, that sick and infirm people, have always this good hope of quick departure from their mortal prison: when they perceive themselves so often subject to Catharres, weakness of stomach, Colics, Gouts, and other natural imbecilities. For even as in a broken or torn scabbard, many times is found a sword or knife, of perfect metal and good temper: so (by experience) we shall commonly see, in a sickly and crazed body, an excellent spirit and rich in all nobleness, a courage high and magnificent: ready (notwithstanding the body's weakness) not only to attempt, but to bring to pass many fair and honourable enterprises. See we not in the Galleys, that they give the Oar to the strongest and most mighty Galliots: when to the weakest and feeblest of members (which oftentimes are the wisest and most skilful) is left the charge and guide of the Rudder? Hath not the strength sooner been overthrown, of Milo, Ajax and Hercules; then the abilities in Solon, Nestor, Cato or Socrates?  
Even so, what other thing is the body, whereof we make so great account: but the house and poor lodging, of the most rich and noble spirit? And albeit the body be found sometimes frail and diseased, yet doth it no hurt to the spirit: because it is her Inn but for a little while. Poor and miserable wretches are we, who never knowing aright what we ought especially to wish or desire: daily find fault and are discontented, with our sickly weak bodies, which nevertheless are of longest life and continuance. As for proof, the Italians, who for the better seething of a great turf of herbs, are wont to cleave & break the cover of earth wherewith they are hidden in the pot, to give them air, better boiling and savour: yet notwithstanding, the earthen pot thus bruised, will serve and endure longer time, than a sound one nothing at all broken: as if by means of the cleaving and rapture, it had attained a longer while of continuance. The self same may be said of our bodies, the strongest and most sturdy whereof, is found to be sooner infected, than they whose skin is more thin and soft: by reason they cannot so easily evaporate or exhale the superfluities out of them; whence ensueth, that more suddenly and oftener strong men die, than such whose bodies are sickly and tender.  
Pliny (in his natural history) makes the number infinite, of grievous and dangerous diseases, that customably take hold upon us: yet nevertheless, we are of so simple consideration, as for a little headache, or one fit of an Ague, we enter into unspeakable impatience. And we complain on the fever quartain, wherein we rather ought to rejoice, or (at the least) not grieve or offend ourselves therewith so strangely: considering, that if she be a bad mother to us for one day, she is good to us for two after: and whosoever is cured thereof (say many Physicians) shall live afterward more healthful and better disposed.  
If for so little we contend with patience, we may then hazard loss of all together: if it should happen to us, as it did to Pherecides the Philosopher, that from our bodies should come forth innumerable serpents: as much as befell to good Maecenas, that our eyes should not shut in three years together: or if we should fall into an Ethick fever, which lasteth perpetually, and never would leave us till we came to our grave. Then would we cry out against God: howbeit, we ought contrariwise rather to rejoice, because the Apostle himself hath said: That never is the body well indeed, but when it is sick indeed.  
To prove this true, the party afflicted with any sickness, is never puffed up with pride, never buffeted with fleshly desire, never coverous, envious, or overcome with wrath, never strangled with gluttony, sursetting in slothfulness, or conquered by ambition: and would to God we were such in health, as oftentimes we promise to be when we are sick. The good Saint Basill, because he felt himself weak and not sound in health, practised right well the art of medicine: wherein he profited so perfectly, as he was esteemed one of the wisest, and most expert physicians in his time.  
Plato the Philosopher, because he felt himself strong, and over-mightie in nature, to follow his study as he ought: chose for his place of abiding, a watery marshy ground, a troubled & discontented air, where heaven showed none other, but dark and pichie clouds, that thereby he might become sick: and so have means to refrain, the tedious and perilous assaults of the flesh, wherewith he felt himself sometimes pricked and moved: for his advise was, that a good mind could not flourish, if first of all the flesh were not over-maistred. And certainly I am thus persuaded, that the weakness of the slender thread, whereto my poor and miserable life is fastened, makes me the more highly to rejoice, and my heart the merrier: for the desire it hath of speedy departure, and the sooner to fly or mount aloft, where it first received her fair soul.  
Now see in conclusion, of how many felicities, the infirm and sickly complexion of men are the cause? First of all, it is the mean of making us live long in this world: which is the thing, that men of greatest courage with for. For admit the case so falleth out (as there be people of divers complexions, some more choleric and impatient than other) that the sick man desireth in himself, to departed from this world; thorough the grief, vexation and tediousness he here receiveth; yet than he happens to be crossed with so many impeachments, as delays and makes him tarry therein the longer. But if he would remember (setting all other troubles apart) to wish he might live longer, for the profit and commodity of his friends: he may then chance to escape longer, than one in perfect health never minding such matters. For the poor sick man, considering that he is weak and diseased, will preserve himself very diligently, from all manner of excess: and live more soberly, then can the stiffest and strongest composed bodies.  
These kind of men are such, to whom oftentimes it happeneth (thorough the overmuch fierceness of their good disposition and strength) that boldly or carelessly, they oppose themselves against a thousand griefs, perils and dangers: using meats prohibited for the health of man, taking the corrupted air in the evening: or else (without any need) will wander into tempests, rain, snow, wind, storms, and thus adventure themselves from morning to night. And the worse is their success, thorough the confidence which they repose in their bodies, which they feeling to be strong and lusty: fear not (without any discretion) to fight here with one, there to smite an other, spoil, outrage, and commit a thousand evils. Then, what recompense have they for all these? They fall into the rightful hand of justice: who without any regard of valour, strength, dexterity, parents or riches, makes them (miserably and shamefully) to finish their days before their expected time.  
It is then great folly, to desire strength and health of body so earnestly, seeing it is the cause of so many mishaps: were it not only but in regard of the wars, which we should never behold so cruel or fierce, but by the confidence, that men suppose to be in their health and bodily strength: wherewith great and wise Lords use to jest at each other, and make as small account thereof, as of balls running along the penthouse of a Tennis court.   

For Tears.  
Declamation, 11. That it is better to weep often, then to laugh at any time.  
NOt without great occasion is it, that I must assuredly, & by good right confess, the mourner to be in better estate than the laugher: seeing Solomon, in his most holy proverbs, hath left us in writing, that it is better to sleep and repose in the house of sorrow, then in that of joy and pleasure.  
By laughter, many souls have been severed from their bodies, to the infinite grief of their good friends: but by sadness, not one only (which I ever heard of) at any time departed but well pleased▪ Laughter hath evermore been particularly proper to fools mouths, or people without sense. And it is not read in any one place of the holy Scripture, that our blessed Saviour ever laughed at any time: but that he wept and sorrowed, is to be found in sundry passages, of the good and faithful Evangelists. For this cause, hath he promised eternal felicity to such as mourn, and them that laugh, he hath menaced with death.  
To weep, is a sign of penitence and compunction, whereto we are often invited and exhorted, by the voices of the holy Prophets: but laughter hath been the cause of mocking itself, as the evident sign of overmuch boldness. If we would make regard, of the commodities ensuing by tears: how many disdains, and how many rages, have been qualified, by one little tear of the eye? How many poor lovers have they united and confirmed together, that before lived not, but in languor & distress? How many storming hearts, fierce and cruel one against another, have they bridled, softened, & made gentle? How many great and honest recompenses, have been obtained and measured, by the weight of tears? I am of this opinion, that all the force and puissance of men assembled together, cannot so soon win or compass what it would have: as one only tear can, yea, oftentimes it hath conqueringly obtained grace, even from obstinate and most pitiless persons.  
For proof hereof, Heraclitus was always more esteemed for his weeping, then ever was Democritus for his laughing. See how many things, worthy of eternal memory, Crassus by this virtue accomplished; purchasing the name of a scorner of vanities. If we should need to produce, the profit of tears & often weeping: Let us consider, that while our bodies are but young and tender, they make them to grow and increase. Wherefore many Nurses' (in regard hereof) are not very hasty to quiet their infants, when they lie crying in the Cradle: but (by these means) suffer them to dilate and stretch forth their members, for so they come to the suddener growth. And if proofs should fail me against laughter, I would content myself with this only of good Hippocrates, who hath left written: that the diseases which ensue by accident of laughter, without any manifest cause; are the most difficult to be healed.  
Let us then set laughing apart, seeing it bringeth such offence to man, and agreeth not with his honesty and gravity: beside, we find not at this day, among so many lamentable ruins, where any place or opportunity for laughing indeed, may be granted or suffered. And let us conclude, that laughter wrinkles and makes old the face, counterfeits the person, makes the heart ache, woundeth the lungs & inwards of the belly: so that after long laughing, many griefs do follow, whereof we never make doubt, till we feel them. So that if laughter be not refrained, it makes the palate of the mouth to fall, the throat sore, the voice hoarse, and oft times shakes the body very grievously.  
Wherefore very excellently said the wise man, that the end of laughter, was grief and tears: which ordinarily endureth more space of time, & hath a longer tail behind it, than ever had mourning. But the end of continual tears, after this mortal life: is joy and perpetual delectation, which never hath ending, and such as are promised by him, who is only truth itself.   

For Dearth.  
Declamation, 12. That Scarcity is better, than abundance.  
ANy man of common sense and opinion, will assure ye, that for the ease and better estate of his person, as also continuance of his pleasures: abundance or earthly goods ought well to be had in request. But for one voluptuous man ye shall find of this opinion; I will furnish ye with an hundred of very singular spirit and perfect judgement, that liberally will maintain: the fertility and abundance of goods in this world, is the mother and nurse of all evils, enemy to all modesty and honesty, and chief adversary to sobriety.  
The good Lady of Henault, bemoaned the great Dearth, which the turbulence of the wars had caused, and among other things, she wept for the fertility of the former years passed; when as she called to mind, what store of corn and wines she had, and that before a week would be passed, both she and all her house should scant tell, where to get food or drink once a day. But the sober and frugal Solon-nist saith well to the contrary, that the less store of victuals are in a country: the less is the insolence of the inhabitants, who (in time of abundance) disdain the service of their superiors: & then hath a man greater pain to get a servant (how poor soever, or bade disposed he be) than a man of wisdom, well skilled in good letters.  
Moreover, what else think we, may be the plenty of one or two yeeares, when we give ourselves to so great feasting: but even an earnest of the dearth in them, that may or will follow soon after? The interpretation that just joseph made of Pharaohs dream, may serve for witness hereof. What is it, that better gives knowledge of the price of any thing, be it never so excellent; then the Dearth or scarcity thereof? In the East Countries, among the Savages, no more esteem is made of gold or precious stones: then we in these parts, do make of iron, lead or brass. In Madera, Cyprus and other Islands, where the Sugars do grow, they give them to their Swine to eat: as we in the countries nearer hand, give them great abundance of fruits. And wherefore do they thus? Even because exceeding plenty, maketh the contempt of most excellent things. For experience, when times fall out according to our own wish: how many is there among us, that remembers God thereby, and gives him thanks with a good heart: but only in a manner, by way of countenance? But when times come that we like not of: then is it that we turn unto him, and cry him mercy, then confess we only his divine, incomparable bounty, greatness and excellence.  
Infallibly, the value of bread and wine, which are things needful for nourishing the body, and to preserve the soul therein: is never known in the time of abundance, when we make spoil thereof, cast it at our feet, and give it to feed filthy beasts. Nor may I forget, how in some Countries stored with Vineyards, when one plentiful year comes among other: they will be so insolent, as to make waste thereof at every street corner. But when they have little store of wine and grain: then they taste, savour so well, and use them in so small quantities, as nothing at all is lost. We think on God, praise him and give him thanks: but then we do it best, when we give ourselves to know his great virtues. Then our bodies are most healthful and active, because our wine is well tempered, and we eat our wheat so pure: as they both together may engender the oppilations of faith, and not of other matters.  
And as for the vivacity of the spirit, I say that even as in the time of fast or diet, the spirits work best and greatest causes: so in the time of searsitie, they engender not such huge numbers of smokes, as hinder them from doing their divine operations. For this especially, among other causes, at first were the fasts and Lent time instituted: in good season and time of flowing plenty after wine, good corn, a thousand disagreements, a thousand batteries, a thousand lawe-strifes and contentions. When a poor labouring man had his halfpenny towards a pint of wine; then could he make merry with his fellows, so long as to drive away irksome weariness. Then were none so simple, but sat at the table with the house-mayster, and fed as at a frank marriage feast: and when the belly was full, then to dancing.  
Let us now make some little discourse, of countries fertile and abounding in all goods, comparing them with such as are barren and unfruitful: and let us see, if their inhabitants are better natured or disposed, than they that dwell in the deserts, or regions never tilled and not fertile. First of all, in Hyrcania (if it be true, which that most faithful Greek hath written in his history,) one only stock of a Vine, yieldeth about a Tun of wine: and every foot of a fig tree, filleth well near forty frails with that fruit. The wheat, although it naturally fall to the ground from the ear on the stalk; yet without any industry or human labour, it increaseth every year in mighty abundance. The Bees do naturally work their honey on the trees: from whence (even as Manna from Heaven) it droppeth continually down on the earth, and there are none will take the pains to gather it. All this notwithstanding, the people of that country are accounted the most cruel, fierce and wickedest Nation in all the world.  
In the Indian Countries, the Earth beareth twice a year, and they have two seasons for gathering their fruits: nevertheless, if ye knew the people of the Country, ye shall find them fantastical, liars and deceivers to the uttermost. In Babylon, every little corn of wheat, bringeth forth two hundredth other for it: beside this, the millet and other bread grain (thorough the strange and wonderful nature of the soil) stretcheth up in such height, as do the trees. Yet notwithstanding all these things, the inhabitants of the Country, are more abounding in vile life and villainies, than all other nations are beside. In Tacapa, a great City of Africa, is to be found such store and abundance, of whatsoever can be desired, for the nourishment and life of man, & all things at so small a rate or price, as they scantly make any reckoning thereof: in like manner is there to be found, the very plentifullest store that can be named, of thieves, adulterers, treasons, and infidelities.  
Now let us confer herewith the other part, the barren regions or less fertile in goods; and let us see, if they be not altogether industrious, friends to virtue, and greatly hardened for pains and bodily labours. In the first place, let us consider what the Country of Denmark is, and what the Franconians and Danes have been, that thence issued. Let us remember withal, the Scythians, that live at this day in travail, without any certain habitation, now in one place, then in another. What and how many brave warriors, have come from this people? Even as in our times, we have seen issued from the Isles of Ireland, Swethen, and Countries unfruitful, cold, and partly neighbours to Scotland. Yet in these countries, is found for nouriture of the inhabitants, nothing more than milk and fish; but for softness and delicateness, none else like them.  
But let us leave strangers, and only make discovery of ourselves. How many men of wisdom and authority (think ye) in time of our memory, hath issued from the untilled and mountain countries of Savoy, Dauphin, Awergne, Gascoigne, Limosine and Perigueulx? Imagine ye, that the Rabulanes, Onions and Beans of these several soils, could in aught diminish their goodness of spirit? Think ye for these, they own aught to our minions of the Court & elsewhere: who are nourished, and brought up with all wanton and liquorish things? How many Chancellors, Precedents, Councillors, Knights, captains, and such like, have ye seen, and daily do behold, in honour of these quarters, more than any other? yet their countries are of such nature, as their Coleworts, Mullets, Turnips and Chesenuts, doth there give them better nourishment, then will the most precious wheat or grain in the world. This inferreth, and proveth well unto ye, that without this scant and frugal arsimonie, which to them is natural; never would they have been such, as now they are.  
I agree very well with ye, that after they have once dwelled in a country more abounding, they become finer and foolisher, like the savage Spaniards, who leaving their first untilled region, where they wore hempenshooes, shirts, clothes, and such like, came afterward to their pumps of velvet. But all this, (proceeding from their original nursing) hath given them such heart & industry, as makes them nothing inferior to other strange nations.  
I say for conclusion, that the great fertility, of abounding in goods of the earth, serves to no other purpose; but to stir and move us, to attempts of succession, Farms, dimes, rents and revenues: wherein we trust so much the most part of our time, as we become careless, and void of all desires of virtuous knowledge. True it is, that the overgreat plenty of grain, even in such as are covetous, serves them to fatten fowls, Pigeons, Partridges and other birds, as well of the Garden as flight, the flesh whereof (soon after) serves but to abridge and shorten their lives. But withal, they should remember, that this huge store in lofts and garners, draweth thither a million of Rats, Mice, weevels, Fitchets and other vermin: nor is there so good a house, but hereby oftentimes it may be spoiled and consumed, beside the labour taken to separate the blasted corn, spirted and barren Oats from the other. And when all this corn is gotten together, it troubles the master merualously to lock it up, by reason of the abundance: so that the torment of safe keeping, and well looking to it, makes him sometime minded, to forego the land for the corn, because of the displeasures, griefs and vexations he receiveth thereby, in recompense of his labours,  
In brief, dearth of victuals, makes poor people careful, and ready to their work, contented (beside) with how little soever they get, to withstand the necessity and danger of time to come. It entertaineth and augmenteth good minds, in their duty and endeavour: to the great profit of the weal public, which otherwise would but slenderly rejoice, if by occasion of plenty, they should run at their own liberty. It maketh known the bounty, strength and virtue of him, who (of nothing) raiseth mighty matters. It rebateth the pride of the highest mounted. It maketh that seem better, which one laboureth for, or getteth by his own pains: then if he received it from the hand, of never so liberal affluence, or if it were given and bestowen upon him, even for nothing. lastly, in times of scarcity, all good things augment and increase: but in the times of plenty and superfluity, they fade, diminish and utterly die.   
FINIS.   

GEntlemen, here I thought good to break off, and conclude this first Book, both for your ease & mine own: lest wearying you too much, you should fall in dislike of me and my labour, and so both of us miss your gentle favour, the only recompense I expect for my pains: and very unkind are ye, if ye cannot part with so small a reward. But not despairing thereof, let me entreat thus much at your hands, if ye find any harsh English in my rude Translation, or faults unwillingly escaped in the Printing: mend the one with Patience, and the other with your pens, so both shall pass for currant, you resolved, and I sufficiently contented.  
Yours to his power, A. Mundy.   


A Table of all the several Paradoxes contained in this first volume, gathered for the Readers more easy finding them.  
For Poverty. Declama. 1. 
Fol. 1. That it is better to be poor than Rich.  For the Hard-favoured face or fowl Complexion. Declama. 2. 
fol. 3. That it is better to be fowl than fair.  For the ignorant. Declama. 3 
fol. 23 That Ignorance is better than knowledge.  For Blindness. Declama. 4 
fol 33 That it is better to be blind than to see clearly.  For the Foole. Declama. 5. 
fol. 41 That it is better to be a fool, than wise.  For him that hath lost his worldly goods, honours and Preferments. Declam. 6. 
fol. 53 That a man ought not to be grieved, though he be despoiled of all his goods and Honours.  For Drinkers. Declama. 1. 
fol. 59 That Drunkenness is better than Sobriety.  For Sterillitie. Declam. 8. 
fol. 68 That the barren woman is more happy, than the childbearing.  For the Exiled. Declam. 9 
fol. 76 That it is better to be banished, then continue in liberty.  For infirmity of the body. Declam. 10. 
fol. 83 That it is better to be sick, then always healthful.  For Tears. Declama. 11. 
fol. 89 That it is better to weep often, then to laugh at any time.  For Dearth. Declama. 12. 
fol. 93 That Scarcity is better, than abundance.   
The end of the Table for the first Volume.   

A Table of such Paradoxes, as are handled in the Second Volume, which upon the good acceptation of this first Book, shall the sooner be published.  
For desire of Death. 
That it is better to wish speedy death, then long life.  For the Country man. 
That the poor Husband man is more at ease, than the wealthy Citizen.  For hard Lodging. 
That the simple lodging is more to be commended, than those in great palaces & houses of pleasure.  For the Wounded. 
That the wounded man ought to rejoice more, than he that is whole & sound.  For the Bastard. 
That the Bastard is more to be esteemed, than the lawfully borne or legitimate.  For Imprisonment. 
That it is more healthful and profitable to be in prison, than at liberty.  For War. 
That war is more to be esteemed, than peace.  For a dead Wife. 
That a dead wife is a most profitable virtue to her husband, and better than a living Wife.  For Service. 
That it is better for a man to serve himself, than to be served of any.  For Poor descent. 
That the meanest place of birth, makes a man most noble.  For the Niggard. 
That the niggardly sparing life, is better than the bountiful.  For Women. 
That a woman's excellence, is much greater than a man's.  For fear. 
That it is better to live in fear, than in assurance.  For the Lawyer. 
That a Lawyer is a most profitable member in a Commonwealth.    
FINIS.