The Owls Almanac. Prognosticating many strange accidents which shall happen to this Kingdom of Great BRITAIN this year, 1618. Calculated as well for the Meridian mirth of London, as any other part of Great BRITAIN. Found in an juy-bush written in old Characters, and now published in English by the painful labours of Mr jocundary Merry-braines.  
LONDON, Printed by E. G. for Laurence Lisle, and are to be sold at his shop in Paul's Churchyard at the sign of the Tiger's head. 1618.   

TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFUL AND generous-minded Gentleman, Sir TIMOTHY THORNHILL Knight.  
SIR,  
IS it not strange that an Owl should write an Almanac? Yet why not, as well as a Crow speak Latin to Caesar? And why not an Owl prognosticate wonders, which are sure to happen this year, as for Astrological wizards to shoot threating Calendars out of their inke-pots at the world, and yet when they hit, their fillups hurt nothing? Lies are as well acquainted with Astronomers, as oaths are with Soldiers, or as owing money is familiar to Courtiers: But Madge-Owlet fetches her predictions out of an upper room in Heaven, where never any common star-catcher was garretted before. Had I a bird of Paradise, I should gladly send her flying to you, and therefore I hope that your acceptance of this Owl (though she be none of mine, but hiding her broad face under my Eves by chance) will keep petty idle birds from wondering about her. I wish every year you are to live, to begin and end with you, as merrily as this Prognostication takes her aim to make you, and that I may cease to be, when I give over from being  
Devoted ever at your Worship's disposing, L. L.   

The Contents of this work.  

1. AN Epistle of the OWL, to a certain RAVEN, an Almanac-maker.  
2. The beginnings and end of the 4. Terms in the year.  
3. Annual Computations of time.  
4. The beginning and ending of the Year.  
5. English Tides.  
6. Computation Diurnal, and Astrological.  
7. A Moone-clocke.  
8. The Anatomy of man's body, governed by the 12 signs.  
9 The Signs of the Zodiac.  
10. How the Signs came to be hung up in the Zodiac.  
11. A general Calendar for the common motion of the Moon, in all the months of the Year.  
12. The disposition of the Planets for this Year.  
13. Rules for Health and Profit.  
14. The 4. Quarters of the Year, with the diseases incident to each of them.  
15. General diseases to reign this Year.  
16. Inundations, and most strange over-flowing of Waters.  
17. Of a Dearth.  
18 A brief and merry Prognostication, presaging good fortunes to a Set of fundamental Trades: viz: 

1 Mercers.  
2 Grocers.  
3 Drapers.  
4 Fishmongers.  
5 Goldsmiths.  
6 Skinners.  
7 Tailors.  
8 Haberdashers.  
9 Salters.  
10 iron-mongers.  
11 Vintners.  
12 Clothworkers.  
13 Dyers.  
14 Brewers.  
15 Lethersellers.  
16 Pewterers.  
17 Barber-surgeons.  
18 Armourers.  
19 Bakers.  
20 Chandler's.  
21 Girdlers.  
22 Cutlers.  
23 Sadlers.  
24 Butchers.  
25 Carpenters.  
26 Shoemakers.  
27 Painters.    
19 Fairs in England.  
20 The high ways.  
21 Good and bad Days.    

THE OWLS EPISTLE to the Raven.  
BRother Raven, I did ever envy the happiness of other Birds, when I saw them freely enjoying Woods, Fields, Parks, Forests, Cities, Kingdoms, and all that the moving canopy of heaven can cover, as their proper cages to sing in all the day, drawing thereby, audience to their bewitching-musicke-Lectures; when poor I (having more knowledge (except in song) than the proudest of them) durst never, or seldom gad abroad in the light. But when I heard, and beheld yourself a student in the Mathematics, and by jumbling together a hodge-podge of Calculations, to be counted an Astronomer, and to passed up your name on every post in the title of a Book, called, The ravens Almanac, I did then more vex than ever before.  
I confess you are a Bird of a larger wing than I am, goodlir is your proportion, piercing are your eyes, your colour so amiable, that Women take a pride to have hair, black as a Ravens, dreadful is your voice, bloody your beak, and your talons full of terror: but let your bosom be open, and then (as in some great Statesmen, who carry an outward glorious show) nothing is to be found but ugliness, treachery, and rapacity. But if it shall be no dishonour for me to stand on the tiptoes of mine own commendations, I would then against your ominous croaking thus far prefer my wakeful hooting, that I have ever been held a praedooming Bird; but (besides that) an Emblem of Wisdom, and so sacred among the Athenians, that they carried the reverence of my picture stamped upon their money.  
Now (brother Raven) as in this point I spitefully make comparisons with you, as proving myself, not one, to whom you may cry, Hail fellow well met: So will I, in these my Ptolomaicall predictions, discover to the world such wonders from the planatary-Regions, that not only thou, but all other Birds (daring to pry into the privy-chamber of Heaven) shall pluck in their heads (as I do until twilight) with shame, and never offer more to pester Paul's Churchyard, with their trivial Prognostications. I have been this year in progress with the Moon, riding on the Dog which the man in the Moon leads, whose bush of Thorns he lent me, in steed of a fan to keep off the wind, whilst he himself ran along by me as my footman. Much skill learned I of the Moon, for she is a great light to Almanac-makers, albeit in show, she seem but a cold friend to them: and much mad talk had I with that lunatical fellow (the squire of her body.) The 12 houses of the Sun, lay higher up into the country, so that by reason my sight hath ever been bad, I had no great stomach to mount up thither, because I know the Sun (who never could endure me) would have spied both a Moat in mine eye, and a Beam too. Here I caught stars, faster than a Cat will kill flies; of which store I shot some down to help those that write Almanacs for London. Some of the 12 Signs (which like cast garments, being worn to pieces, were thrown by into an odd corner) I clapped close under my wings, and now they are to be seen hanging in the middle of Cheapside; for there's the Ram, the Bull, the Crab, Capricorn, etc. Only the young wench (called Virgo) would by no means sit in any shop in that street, because so many Gallants lie over the stalls, courting every handsome woman there, that the maid was afraid to have lost her head, in the company. Thus with weary wing traveled I, but being now come back from the Court of the Moon, (who is not much unlike me, having a great broad platter face as mine is) listen to the wonders which I bring with me: So hooting and whooping a silence to your Ravenship, I prognosticate myself, yours for a strange Almanac for a whole year,  
The OWL.   

The beginnings and end of the 4. Terms in the Year.  

HIllary Term is the merriest Term of all four: It begins in hope to the Lawyer to have good doings, and ends in 
Hillary Term.  despair to the Client that he shall not be dispatched this Term  

It hath 4 Returns.  
The first Return, the Lawyer comes up with an empty Capcase.  
The second Return, the Client comes up with a full Capcase.  
The third Return, all the Clients money is in the Lawyer's Capcase.  
The fourth Return, nothing but Lawyer's papers stuff the Client's Capcase.    

EAster Term comes in all in green, with the Spring (like a 
Easter Term.  puny Clerk) waiting upon him, and would be as merry as Hillary, but that Puritans pluck down profane and highpearching Maypoles.  
It begins with Pox vobis, and ends with Pox vobis.  

It hath 5 Returns.  
The first Return, the Client hopes well.  
The second Return, the Attorney heartens him well.  
The third Return, the Client lays it on well.  
The fourth Return, he prays and pays well.  
The fifth Return, the Attorney laughs well.    

TRinitie Term is a very hot fellow, yet in regard he is but 
Trinity Term.  short lived, (for he is borne the ninth of june, and departs the twenty eight of july) he doth no great good to the Lawyer, nor great hurt to the Client.  
It begins in one of the King's Courts at Westminster Hall, and ends in one of the prisons about London.  

It hath 4 Returns.  
And those Returns are like the 4 quarters of a decreasing or waning Moon.  
The first Return, the rich Plaintiff, with corpulent bacon-fed guts, rides puffing up to London, with a purse warmly lined, and that's the full moon, during which fullness he far outshines the Defendant, and gives great light to the Lawyers, though in the end they light him, when his own torch burns no longer.  
The second Return, the lamentably-complaining Defendant, comes up too, being more in the wain than the other, (nay perhaps altogether out both of the Wain, horses, and oxen) and yet his purse not three quarters full neither.  
The third Return, what with Councillors, Attorneys, Clerks, and other ministers of justice, the Plaintiffs purse is scarce half full, which he empties every day (as he melts his grease) with trudging from Court to Court, only to undo his poor Adversary.  
The fourth Return, there is a judgement gotten against the Defendant, and now his heart & cause being both overthrown together, his spirits are so darkened with black clouds of sorrow, that he seems utterly eclipsed, until the first quarter of a new Moon, which will not show her horns until next Term.    

MIchaelmas Term comes in with his nose dropping, and a pipe of lighted Tobacco puffing out of his mouth, to dry 
Michaelmas Term.  up the rheum, for he's but a snivelling companion: You shall seldom see him but daubed up to the hams with dirt and rain; and commonly, to make amends for that, a pint of mulled sack is his morning's draft. It begins with a shivering to 500 that are Termers, but ends in a burning Fever, for Westminster and London are too hot for 400 of these 500 to tarry by it.  

It hath 8 Returns.  
The first Return, an Essex Yeoman hath a Goose goes gaggling into his neighbour's barn.  
The second Return, he that owes that barn, wrings off the neck of this Goose.  
The third Return, the Goose's master, ambles up to the Term to a man of Law, drawing out his purse, as he drivels out his speech, and scrapes with his hobnails for counsel, how to sue in the Goose's name.  
The fourth Return, he that assaulted and battered the Goose, gallops up too, and thrashes out his silver about that Goose too.  
The fifth Return the matter comes to trial. So that 

The Goose is plucked,— there's the jury.  
The Goose is roasted with delicate sauce, there's the Verdict.  
The Lawyer eats the Goose, there's a judgement entered.  
And gives the feathers to stick the other two coxcombs, Execution upon that judgement.    
The sixth Return, the Lawyer persuades his client, it was no Goose, but a Gander: to't again they go.  
The seventh Return, the two Essex Calves have suckd each other dry, and have neither Goose nor Gander.  
The eight Return, they go home like a couple of tame Geese, when their feathers are plucked, and are passing good friends.   
There are star-chamber days in all these 4 Terms, for the 
star-chamber days.  Council of Heaven (with the King in all his glory) sits to censure the Riots of the mighty on earth, oppressing the poor, the fatherless, and widow, and by the royal authority of that most honourable Court, to guard innocence, and weakness, from the malice and tyranny of bloody-minded Creditors, whose pleas are never heard before so high an assembly of judges.    

A memorial of the time since some strange and remarkable Accidents, until this year 1617.  
SInce the first lie was told, is (as I remember) 5565 years; 
First Ly●….  and that was by all computation in Adam's time, but now in these days men and women lie downright.— 5565  
Since the burning of Paul's steeple many fiery faces have heated 
2  the City, but especially some Catchpolls red noses have set 500 a sweeting coming by the Counter gates: But since the burning at Winchester, (at which time no small number of Geese were both plucked and powdered) many heads ache to this 
Winchester G●…se.  day to remember it, albeit it be now about 12 or 13 years past.—————— 12  
Since the first making of noses chimneys, with smoking 
3 First ●…ffing Tobacco.  men's faces as if they were bacon, and baking dried Neat's tongues in their mouths.———— 32  
Some Almanacs talk that Printing hath been in England not above 156 years; but I find in an old worm-eaten Cabalistical 
4 Printing of sheets.  Author, that sheets have been printed in this Kingdom above a 1000 years before that time.— 1000  
Tailors have been troubled with stitches, ever since yards came up to measure women's petticoats, and that is at least ago 
5 Tailors stitches  years— 5000  
Oranges came from Seville into England above an 100 years 
6 lemons.  past; but we had great store of Lemons long before, 100  
Since hot waters caused bad livers in London, and her Suburbs, 
7 Hot waters.  is not much above 15 or 16 years: but they never burned out the bottoms of men's purses so much, until Ramires: Savage gave them phlegetontical brewings, and horrible Necromantical names.— 16  
Dancing was in England long before the Conquest, but 
8 Dancing, & Pumps.  pumps have been used in London within 60 years or thereabouts.— 60  
Since bottle Ale came puffing into England, and thereby troubled the country with terrible winds, all the Putt-gallies 
9 Bottle Ale, and Roaring boys.  serving Brew-houses near the Thames are weeping witnesses, but whether Puffing and Roaring Boys were before that time, look into the Calendar of Newgate, and there 'tis Re-corded.  
Since the horrible dance to Norwich.— 14  
Since the arrival of Monsieur No body.— 11  
Since that old and loyal soldier, George Stone of the Bear-garden died.— 8  
Since the dancing horse stood on the top of Paul's, whilst a number of Asses stood braying below.— 17  
The general Earthquake in rich men's consciences, hath no 
Rich men's Earthquakes.  certain time when it shall be, but the earthquake, and cold shivering in poor men's bodies is now every day, and charity cold herself, she knows not how to comfort them.  
Since the Germane Fencer cudgelld most of our English Fencers, now about 5 months past.  
Since yellow bands, and saffroned Chaperons came up, is 
Yellow bands.  not above two years past, but since Citizen's wives fitted their husbands with yellow hose, is not within the memory of man.  
Since close Caroches were made running bawdy-houses, yesterday. 
Yellow hose.   
Since swearing and forswearing cried [What do you lack] in London, no longer ago then this very morning.   

The beginning and ending of the Year, as also of the World.  
THe year begins with me when I have money in my purse, which with a good suit on my back, a fair gelding under 
Year begins.  me, and a gilt Rapier by my side, makes it complete.  
The year begins with some Gallants, when they cry zounds Drawers, ye rogues; and is near expiration, when they ask in a low voice, What's to pay?  
The year ends with me when my silver is melted, and my elbows are ragged. 
Year ends.   
In the interim of these two extremes it is indifferent current.  
The world begins with a young man, when he new sets up for himself, and ends with him when his wife sets up for herself.  
The world begins with an old man, when every day his gabs fill, and that he can drink half a pint of sack off at a draft, 
World begins and ends.  and cry Him after it: and the world ends with him, when he begins to dote on a young wench.   

English Tides.  
HIgh water above London bridge, when the Prentices there 
High water.  dwelling pluck up buckets full to the top of the house, to serve their kitchens; and low water, when people go over the Thames dry shod.  
High water at London bridge, when the tide is come in: low water when 'tis gone out.  
High water at all Havens, when their mouths swill in so 
Havens.  much, that they cast it out again.  
And high water with all Rivers, when bridges & they meeting, 
Bridges.  the bridges are glad to stand up to the middle to save themselves  
High water in school boys eyes, after the fearful sentence 
School boys. women.  of Take him up: and in women's, when either they cry for anger, or are maudlin drunk.  
It flows with good fellows, when their cups are full, and their brains swim; and it ebbs at the postern when the physic 
Drunkards.  works, and the body purgeth backward.  
It's high water at Westminster Hall when porters are feed by Lawyers to ride a picke-packe on them in stead of Mules, and 
Lawyers.  so to turn them into Asses: and wonderful low water when the stream of quicksilver hath his current stopped up.   

Computation Diurnal, and Astrological.  
GOlden number is any number of golden Angels, or other coin of the same metal. It is this year with me 2. for 
Golden Number.  the Golden Number, next year I hope it will be more.  
Epact is a comprehension of the teeth of the Moon; for 
Epact.  look into her mouth with the watching candle of Astronomical skill, and by the soundness of her gum-pales you shall know how old her great belly is.  
The Circle of the Sun is bigger than any Town bushel, 
Circle of the Sun.  yea though you allow unto it London water-measure. A sieve cannot hold it, for the beams peep out at every little hole.  
The Roman Indiction this year is, that we eat no flesh on Fridays, and that none feed upon saturdays, unless he have 
Roman Indiction.  victuals.  
The Dominical Letter (L) with a dash over it, signifies either a Lord, or a pound: the one sometimes being more welcome to 
Dominical letter L.  an Almanac-maker than the other.  
Shrove-tuesday falls on that day, on which the Prentices plucked down the cockpit, and on which they did always use to rifle Madam Leaks house at the upper end of Shoreditch.  
Ash-wednesday on a Wednesday.  
Good Friday the Friday before Easter.  
And this year Holy Thursday (which I never wonder at) will fall upon a Thursday.  
Easter day my Grandam says, she never knew but on a Sunday, and I say as much for Whitsunday.  
And now listen to a double-ribd Distichon of an old Author.  

Christmas (as I remember) 
Old rhymes to remember time's   
Is ever in December,  
And May day the first of the row,  
Saint john after Steven,  
The day after even,  
Believe me, I say it so.    

A Moone-clocke, or a rule to know the hour of the night by the Moon.  
TAke a pair of iron tongues; pitch them straddling over a 
An excellent Moone-diall, but that the Dial is too bog to carry in a man's pocket.  kennel; then fasten a Waggon-wheele to the diameter of the tongues; which done, mark what spoke doth cast the shadow of the Moon into the sink, directly between the bestriders; from which count the spokes till you come right opposite to the shadow: then dimidiate or part in two equal parts that number, divide it by 3. multiply it by 7. from which extract the number of the Epact, and the Remanet will be the just hour of the night. To show a platform were idle, when the precept is so plain.   

The Anatomy of man's body.  
1. ARies, the Ram, governs the head: men whose wives have light heels, are called Ramme-headed Cuckolds.  
2. Taurus, the Bull, governs the neck and throat: for stiffnecked fellows are Roaring Boys, and dead their tools often in Turnbull street.  
3. Gemini, the Twins, governs the arms and shoulders: so thieves go to the Sessions, two by two, arm in arm, shoulder to shoulder.  
4. Cancer, the Crab, governs the stomach: and reason, for a Crab well buttered is excellent meat.  
5. Leo, the Lion, governs the heart: he that hath not the heart of a Lion, hath the head of an Ox.  
6. Uirgo, the Virgin, governs bowels and belly, and makes both cry Oh, if they meddle too much with her government.  
7. Libra, the Balance, governs the loins, for much double dealing is done in those quarters.  
8. Scorpio, the Scorpion, governs the secret parts, for those sting pockily.  
9 Sagittarius, the Archer, governs the thighs, for between them is the sweetest shooting.  
10. Capricornus, the Goat, governs the knees, for a man lecherous as a Goat is brought upon his knees.  
11. Aquarius, the Water-bearer, governs the legs, he hath a staff to help too, and all little enough sometimes, when he carries drink and water both.  
12. Pisces, the Fishes, governs the feet: for let a man come out of any Tavern in Fish-street drunk, it is so slippery with fish water, that down he comes, and lies like a heap of stinking gubbins.  
If these 12 be not able to govern man's unruly body, then let the 12 Companies of London have him to their Halls, and whip him. But to prove that these are strong enough to hold him, you may by the verses following perceive that the Sun of these 12. maketh himself a girdle in the Zodiac.   

The Signs of the Zodiac. 
Signs.   

The Ram, the Bull, Twins, Crab, the Lion hot.  
Virgin, Scales, Scorpion, he which Archer hight,  
The Goat, and bearer of the Waterpot,  
A brace of fishes,— with heavenly light.  
These sum the dozen of those stars in sky,  
Which lend bright Cynthia such variety.    

The first Induction of the Zodiac.  
THe Zodiac, which begged his name of living creatures, (for all the Cullizans in it except one, which is of no great weight neither, drew their pedigree from the Idea of some excellent Animal) took his original thus.  
When jupiter reigned in the sky, and the fry of the gods in 
How the Zodiac took his original.  the Zodiacke-circle, Promotheus that melancholic Artisan casting down from the earth's ceiling a compassionate eye on mankind, who at that time had no other fire than that of love, which was Cupid's, and that of anger, which is the heat of Nemesis, commiserated man's cold comfort, and vowed when time 
Man at first without the use of fire.  served to pull opportunity by the nose, and pleasure man with that artificious Pantechnon, which in worth far transcended that peerless pearl of Anthony's Lady.  
What might move him to divulge this treasure out of the Exchequer of heaven, I know not: Some think it was a swelling 
Premetheus the these that first stole fire.  desire that possessed him, thinking to eternize his fame, and make his name immortal, by bestowing this rare gift upon mortals.  
Others imagine that this Promotheus was wownd into the love (and not unlikely, for your semi-Saints and Demi-deities were ever liable to Cupid's archery) of a pretty damosel, that dwelled under the immortal Canopy in this cold Horizon, which made his virgin in frosty congealing mornings look like Vespasian, as if she had been wring at an hard stool; and that for her sake he became so liberal to the earth's inhabitants.  
Howsoever, whether this or that was his instigation, occasion being tossed in his way, he bestowed this hot benefit on man, imparting 
Armourers had first use of fire.  it first unto Pyrotes an excellent Armourer.  
The means how he came by it is not certainly known: Some think that he himself by his deepe-searching wit first invented the manner how to dash it out of the igniferous flint.  

In his right hand a shivering flint he locks, 
First fire from a flint.   
Which 'gainst another in his left he knocks  
So up and down, that from the coldest stone,  
At every stroke, small fiery sparkles shone,  
Which withered Daphne with her leaves doth feed,  
This was our fires ('tis thought) both root and seed.   
Others imagine he got this knowledge by coming into Mulciber's 
Promethe●… robbed Vulca●… forge of fire.  shop, (which stands at the foot of brimstone-bubling Aetna) and secretly peeping over the old Farrier's shoulder, as he was striking fire: But the most received opinion is, that he played the thief, and stole it either out of Vulcan's Forge, (as some would have it) or rather è Coelo, out of Ioues treasury, as most imagine: Howsoever he bestowed it on man, flat against Ioues will & pleasure, who was much enraged at this his action.  
And surely there was just cause of Ioues displeasure, for it is thought that at that time as many damned mischiefs thronged 
Why jove was angry seeing m●…n to use fire.  into the world with fire, as there did fantastical fooleris with Monsieur into England. Then pranked dame Paena & Pecunia, (money, and misery) bags and beggary, the very heart and head of infelicity. Then came craft into the world, with his 
Fire the breeder of mischief.  Pages, Sinon, Dautu, Geta, Parasitus, (the Fawn) and goodman Doliu (Doctor Deceit) who for his antiquity might bear Arms as big as Charles-wayne. Then came posting in (on a pibald Cut,) Simony (see money) Bribery, Humanisme, Malice, all the whelps of Acheron, all the weeds of the infernal banks, with pale-faced Incontinence, and giddy-brained Intemperance, the two swiftest coach-horses of hell.  
About this very time landed Deterior Aetas, (the ill-favoured 
The Brazen Age.  faced Beldame) and calendred herself into the Earth's Almanac; a cunning, a coying, and purloining Sorceress: At whose tail marched in most stinking Ranks, all the sores, mischiefs, & State-impostumes, that covered their damned heads with Pasquil's Madcap, or else were minced & boiled together in Madcaps Gallimafry. Now issued in from the Rearward, Madam Vice, or old Iniquity, with a lath dagger painted, according to the fashion of an old Vice in a Comedy, with a head of many colours, as showing her subtlety, and at her back two Punks that were her Chamber maids, the one called Too little. 
Omne nimium vertitur in vitium.  the other Too much; and these two had like Quicksilver eaten the world's Goodness to the heart.  
In a left wing of this Army of Barathrum, were skirmishing more sins than ever the Bellman of London, or Lantern and 
Two books written by T. D.  candlelight did ever muster up together.  
For before these barrels of mischief were set abroach, every old man was a piece of reverend Coin, on which the very face 
A figure of the Golden age.  of Goodness was engraven, and every sprig of youth, was a Laurel branch, which all the year long grew green, and smelled sweet of innocency. Women were those Creatures that 
No such women now.  were fairer within than without, wooing men to love them for their virtues, and not one of that name did then sound, Woman: Maids had that title from Modesty: Marriage was the Merry-age: A child playing with a Dog, the Emblem of simplicity; every man's life was his Chronicle to following 
No Maids. Puppies and children do so still.  times, and in every leaf was Honesty, and Fidelity in texted letters: A golden Age was this, yet without gold: where every Commonwealth was more (if more might be) than Sr Thomas moors never-enough praised Utopian. 
Sir Thomas Moor his Utopian.   
jove the reputed Admiral of the Airs Ocean, billowing his brows with disdain and fury, cracking a cloud at every bended 
jove in a pelting chafe.  wrinkle, and thumping out a thunder at every frown, his face flashing fire, and his looks menacing storms, stood still as if mortality had seen Medusa stampd on the ground, as if Cato had seen a swaggerer, vowed with a thousand Stygian Oaths, that Prometheus should repent him of his bold attempt, and audacious 
Prometheus' look to your coxcomb. Ioues Pursuivant called for.  profusion, in communicating that jovial flame, which would in time set the whole world in a combustion. Forthwith flies there a Voice, which summons his winged Herald Mercury, to whom the fire-stealer is delivered in charge to be conveyed to Vulcan the Master of the Heavenly Ferrary, or Ioues Iron works, to be chained to the top of cold Caucasus. Mercury presently made proclamation (with an Iron voice out of his Starthreating Turret,) that all creatures, who thought themselves endamaged by this firework of Prometheus should instantly 
Terrible doings.  present themselves before him, and wreak their baleful Ire on him at their pleasure. On frosty-fronted Caucasus, that cold 
The thief taken.  Mountain, (at Ioues command) was this Prometheus lodged, shackled to a stake with chains which Unlcan had hammered out for that unruly hellhound, the winde-throated Porter of 
Hell's Porter and a prison Porter Cousins as I take it.  Erebus (Cerberus) where to this hour he stands shivering and shaking like a condemned Caitiff, that attends the fatal stroke to sever his head piece from his feare-frozen carcase; or like a Schoolboy, doomed with that fatal, Solve ligulas, (or untruss) Even so he stood till the sound of the writhe horn had famosed his act far and near, with the liberty of inflicting penalties; viz. how that all the world was licenced to whet the Spears of anger to spit him; who like an Indian (in new Spain) stood there exposed as a fair mark for any man's fury.  

Aries, the Ram.  
THe first Tilter that ran against him was Aries the crookedhorned winding Ram: off left he his grazing, and thus began he his indictment.  
Calling to mind the prejudice that this fire-filcher had done him, how that now such craft had sunk into the brains of man, 
A Ram-headed Oration.  such rape and avarice into his heart, that poor Rams could no more sleep in their golden fleeces; whereas before that time their woollen coats were never in fear or danger of cutting out, by the cruelty of fire-molded mettali; their tender lambs were never taken from their uberous sides; their blood was never tainted in the Parliament of Wolves, nor had the Fox that crafty 
A sweet Parliament.  noddle of his own, to play the bloodsucker amongst their flocks. This tale being bleated out, and heard, this cornuted husband of the Sheeps-heads, fetching a feeze backward (like 
O brave Ram!  the Roman Ram, to push forward with the more violent and villainous force) ran with all his horniferous strength at the poor Fire-fellon, and struck his brow-butters full in Promotheus forehead, that the very print remaineth in his front, and doth still in some of his race to this day; yea such was the violence of the 
These horneheads are terrible fellows.  blow, that it hath caused a wrinkled brow in all his progeny.  
jove stood by in a cloud, beholding the courage of the Ram, which after he had applauded with his pleasing looks, he placed 
Rewards for revenge.  him on the chained head to vex his pate for ever, as the Head-signe, at which hung his fury.   

Taurus, the Bull.  
But casting his eye aside, behold came Taurus up the hill, with roaring throat, sweeting like a Bull as he was, bellowing out 
Ware the Bull. Bull's Oration.  in behalf of all his beastly kindred, that by Prometheus' means, his soul and body was brought into danger: For the invention of the sith, which mowed down the grass from his hungry paunch; the iron chain that restrained his grinders, from hewing up the blades, were by the help of fire first framed. Nay, the Butcher had all the instruments of death from this theft of his. The goad that spurs his slowness forward, and the boldness of man that durst encounter such a mass of flesh, first fetched their original from this Act of his.  
These speeches with a bull-beefe countenance being uttered (for he was like Ajax more warrior than Orator) he ran at this Bellowes-maker (whose filching was the first inventor of kindling 
A Paris-garden Bull could have done no more. jove a stickler.  fire) with such a roaring and bellowing violence, that goring his thievish neck, he almost doubly nailed it to the stake.  
jove clapped the Bull on the flanks (as a Bearward doth the Bull at Paris-garden, in a great day of baiting) and was glad to see justice (whose sword is put into the hands of Fools and Coxcombs upon earth) to be so nobly and stoutly executed on a villain, by a creature merely irrational.   

Gemini: The Twins.  
YEa, the thunder-darting god, laughs so loud that the echo of that noise even shook the palace; celestial; but before 
Room for ●…o Fencers.  the wrinkles of his cheeks were made smooth again, jove fed his eyes with the sight of two Twins (called Gemini) hand in hand approaching this condemned Miscreant. The tears sell in sweet showers from their eyes, sometimes trickling down their tender cheeks, anon those balls of light, swimming only in circles of water, like two islands encompassed about with a pair of Rivers: So stood they gazing and grieving to behold that Ar●…-pyrate their tormented enemy, whose punishment in heart they wished to be doubled, as were their bodies.  
Destiny had given them more woes than words: but Nature was so good a school mistress to them, that they could without book rehearse their own misfortunes. Who thou art (quoth 
Good boys.  the Gemini with feeble voices) we cannot tell; known only art thou unto us, as a fatal tree, upon which grows all our miseries. Thou didst first reveal the use of fire to man, teaching him since how to feed and foster it continually, and by that mystery opened to him the way to our undoing. It was thy 
seacoal of N●…wcastle a good benefactor to this. Armourers had never been a Company else.  wit and work to set the world at wars by the fire of Dissension, and the burning coals of Ambition, and to that end smith's, Gun-makers, Speare-makers, and such like hardhanded fellows have been a long time thy slaves and prentices; night and day hammering from the Mardrons anvil, knives, poniards, steelettoes, swords, bills, pollaxes, canons, culverins, sacres, muskets, petronels, and pistols; to feed whose insatiable sulphurous and devouring fire spitting mouths, that black-meale of hell (Gunpowder,) hath likewise been invented. It was long of thee that our Parents were slain, that our States were overthrown and all misfortunes fell upon us. Two we are to one, yet our force is but small, and the stroke of our revenge 
That's odds.  but feeble. Yet to prove that there is spleen even in poor flies, and to show a love to our Parents, we will in scorn of thee 
Habet & musca splenem.  bestride thy shoulders, and there with the horrid noise of our wrongs, so lug thee by the ears with our nails, and so torment thy hearing, that thou shalt wish to be burnt in ten thousand bonfires, for filching that handful of fire from heaven, rather than be tortured by two such cruel Hangmen as we shall prove to thee.  
This threatned-sentence took place; upon his shoulders 
Prometheus' made an Ass to carry two Apes.  they mounted; Prometheus both patient and speechless, enduring their bawling exclamations: whose scolding day and night grew to be so loud, and the barking so intolerable that the Head of man and his Ears, laid their noddles together, taking counsel of the brain how to prevent the shaking down and utter-ruine of the capital building, by such an everlasting roaring thunder; And thereupon found out no better means to 
How wax crept into the ears.  stop such breaches, than by clammy wax, just at the wickets of the ears, whose little keyholes being so choked up, the horror of their sounds could not pierce too far. So that eversince, the head (being the body's hive) doth by certain Beeworking of the Brains, convey wax to the cells of hearing.   

Cancer: The Crab.  
NExt came Cancer, like a Waterman in a boat, his arse toward the place to which he was going, he looked like a piece 
A sweet-face Crabbe.  of Hebrew spelled the contrary way, or like a rope-maker, who as he gets his living, doth go (like a course carried to Church) with his heels forward; or if you will, like a witch who says her prayers backward; just in that manner marched signor Cornuto Cancer with the Crab-treeface, Testudine gradu, crawling with his tail before him. He was very desirous to mend his pace (not daring to swear for fear his claws should catch no fish) but, protesting he would give all his palaces of dead horse-heads, and cared not who buttered his lecherous guts, with eggs and muscadine, and so eat him, upon condition, he might but 
O cruel Crabbe  give that Termigant Prometheus, but three pinches; not upon any legitimate spleen in the world, but only that he would not like a snail pluck in his horns, in such a combat, where the Ram, Bull, and a couple of jacke-sprat Boys, had laid about them so like Fencers. The Revenge was common as the Law, or as the blows of a spital whore (hot and dangerous) and therefore like the Ass in the Fable, that would needs be so lusty at legs as to lend the Lion a brace of kicks, and to play at Spurn-point with him, so would the Crab have a bout with Don-fire Drake, but the Ass played his jades tricks, when Cor-de-Lyon lay half dead in his belly, scarce having one tooth in 
Age a terrible tooth-drawer.  his head, because Age being his Barber had plucked all out, and so Monsieur Cancro was the more hot upon his enemy, because he had him bound to the peace.  
Or it may be, he was thus sour the rather, because Prometheus looked like a fisher (as he hung) with a long drivelling▪ beard, who was wont to scar such crabbed companions out of their rocky, and mossy dens; or else, because Fishermen by help of that felons skill in fireworks, got both Anchors to 
This is very likely. Hinc illa lachrimae!  hold their Peeter-boates, and little hook to choke harmless fishes, 〈◊〉 other Engines, to destroy the poor inhabitants of the Ocean.  
Howsoever, or whatsoever it was which boiled within him, but Cancer crawled up, to Prometheus his linked ribs, where he fell so to pinch his stomach, that all his chamber of Melancholy (I 
Crabs are windy meat for the stomach.  mean the Milt) was in a dogged, & sullen scurvy puffing: so that the poor Scab, was as splenaticke, as the Capadocian bawd in Plautus: Habet & musca splenen (quoth jove) Cancer can be choleric, and my little Crab crawl on his belly but he will bite his enemy.   

Leo: The Lyon.  
But oh! on a sudden the belly-bitten thief yells out, roars, and bandies up curses, able to crack the clouds a sunder: yelling with loude-yawning throat, like a prisoner in Ludgate, or the Grate-men in the begging room of the King's Bench 
Either of which ba●…le extremely.  common jail, when they do but smell the breath of four Flanders Mares whu●…ying near them in a Caroche, all his body grew cold with fear, his shoulders shook like an aspen, and his heart quaked like an half dead Eel upon an hot grediron: and what was it, but LEO came flinging up the hill, bearing his 
Enter Lyon.  head as high as the last foot of Horace, his first song: his fierytrembling main, being proudly erected, and his tail retorted on his back, as chafing his ridge-bone to provoke his courage, 
The addressing of the Lion to the combat.  complaining of the man's act, and the fruit of his act (fire and sword) the one with his flame dismays his valour, the other with his lustre terrifies his prey-coveting thoughts, more than the fearful crowing of the watchful Chanticleer. Then giving his speech a treble plaudit, with three round roars he skips 
Well roared Lyon.  to the heart of the object, and had wholly sent it into his seldomfull, or never satisfied throat, had not jove sent a thunder of retreat unto him out of hand. Lofty Lion (said jove) I will thee clasp thy jaws, and shut the portal of that vorant grave, which makes whole Towns look pale, till the nuture of my Sceptre shall have limited thy boundless savageness.  

When that thou shalt espy this pilfrers' heart, 
jove 〈◊〉 make verses too.   
To stack his motion, and to rest as still,  
Then shalt thou pray upon that resting part,  
Till when remain 
* Obedient.  morigerat to our will.   
Fast under his left arm stands this greedy Lion, expecting with wide-gaping mouth, the sedency and tired motion of his 
The Lion swore to have a leg or an arm.  lives fountain, at whose fearful vigilancy the poor heart, with very thought of the terrifying beast drives itself with a continual Sistell and Diastoll, like the clack of a mill, or a sunne-suckt leaf chained to a Spider's twine, yet I have not read, that before that time it ever stirred.   

Virgo: the Maid.  
But me thinks fuming fury should not smoke out of Virgin's entrails, when they have so many petticoats to smother 
A hot whore.  it: such tendrils of Venus' grove should not harbour a shadow of revenge: yea, but look here where Virgo comes pacing up the hill, as fast as an Hang man up a Ladder, at the hope of a good 
A woman is violent in revenge.  fuite, or at least, as fast as her busk will give her leave. Well, to be as brief as an Ape's tail, she had no sooner got up the hill, but she begins to chide out these causes of her direful approach to tongue-tied Prometheus; knocking her sists, as the custom of shrews is, where at length her frowns vented this foam. 
Now for a fit of scolding.  Now thou piled pilfering knave, thou maleficious Rascal, was the mumps of thy brain swollen so big, that they must needs break out into flames, and bring such a smoke into the world, that has infected all our youngsters breath? thou hast taught men (thou captivated cur) to kindle that quenchless fire of Tobacco (oh my bodkin I'll dig out his eyes) In which thou hast robbed 
Thou for my money. Women hate Tobacco. She loved kissing.  me of my greatest pleasure; let a fresh Bachelor in his new clothes come but towards me, with intent to draw breath at my lips, why I smell my youth before I come at him; and if he offer me the courtesy, I turn him away with a foh, you smell (save reverence) of Tobacco. If I walk in the streets, and chance to come down Bucklersbury, oh how the whole Orb of air is infected with this fume, which so much altars my complexion, that if I should not view my visage, every hour of the day in the glass, I durst be sworn that I should not know myself, but the worst of all is, that this Prometheus smoke, melts off the complexion from our coloured cheeks, as fast as we lay it on, I cannot forbear, 
Tobacco a Promethean smoke. A pain●…d Punk yet g●… for a Maid. O wh●…re!  the spoil of that faculty spurs me forward, and forthwith sent she a red hot spit (as valorously as ever Tomyris struck off Cyrus' head) into the midst of his belly, that you might well say, that Prometheus was no Hypocrite, for you might easily see into him. jove of pity, or rather of envy healed the wound, as strengthening the offender for farther vengeance, but the scar of the wound remains in human portraiture, which we call the Navel.   

Libra: The Balanced.  
LIbra she that followed Uirgo (as fast as her apronstrings would give her leave) came creeping through the supporters of the press, and being almost breathless with taking such wide 
A good Lawyer, she open●… her own case.  strides, in short language laid open her case, and courted jove for revenge. You know attendants all; the wrongs that I have endured since the firing of the world. My mistress Equity (whose Emblem I am) hath hid her face since fraud set up her banners, and weeps in obscure corners, to see deceit brandish the square 
This is a chambermaid to justice.  of upright dealing. I that before was the equal hand of justice, am now no more Libra for scales, but Libra for pounds. Nay further, our Trade's men use me in weighing such beastly stinking stuff, and that so unjustly, that I can no longer endure it. 
Chandler's, a ●…b for you.  Wherefore great jove fasten me to this Lubbers loins, that I may ever stick by his ribs, to put him in mind of his unequal dealing. Prometheus' rains being sore affrighted at the sight of 
〈◊〉.  such a misshapen creature, like an heartless hound fell a running away, and had not jove stopped their race, he might have died of that disease, and resigned his spirit to Ghost groping Pluto.   

Scorpio: The Scorpion.  
NOt long after came Scorpio, alleging that by the virtue of this attracting fire, men had learned to cure his bodybiting sting, and sought out devices to entrap his person, and to convert his corpse into a liquid oil (most sovereign against impoysonings) more than this, that in derision of his name, Prometheus the great Artificer had made a scourge for his apprentices delinquency, and called it a Scorpion, for which injuries 
Whips indeed bite sore. He lies st●…edead.  he enviously skipped up to his genitals, murdering that place, lest Prometheus should beget some more audacious boldings of his venturous nature.   

Sagittarius: The Archer.  
SAgittarius the Bowman (Robin Hoods great Grandsire (stood aiming at this fettered wretch, ready to let fly at him, had not the proceeding (indictacnsa) hindered him: whereupon he produceth that this Salamander-breeder had brought so many books and subtleties into the world, and so stained all the livers on the earth with craft and foxisme, that whereas before he 
Foxisme.  could have slain a foul at every errand, he had sent his fetherchecked Lackey, now his bolts make many a vain voyage, and return empty. The Buck, as soon as he spies these limbslicing shafts, erected his front and ears, and paceth into the 
●…irds may sing merrily at this news.  thicket, where he is warded from the dart of death: thus is the use of my intended arrow defeated, yea, of the shafts themselves, 
The Buck too crafty for a bow.  this Prometheus labours to delude me, for when the world had no other heat then ardoremsolis (the heavens heat) every hedge and quickset, every knot and turb of trees, was able to yield 
Sunshine the first fire man warmed his hands at.  quiver shafts sufficient choice and variety, now whole woods and forests can scarce fit me with a pair to my liking. All the arborean and arbustian army, are so suddenly dried up, and turned to colour as pale as ashes, at the very sight of this Promethean fire, yea (even to this hour) if a Collier or an Irongrinder pass but by a young and tender grove in Autumn, you shall see within an handful of days after, all the humid sap of those burning branches, fled within the rind, and sunk under the ground (like a More-hen at the sight of a Spaniel) as dreading by a secret antipathy, those two wood-wasting tyrants. Stand aside (said the shooter) I'll venture this at an haunch of his, though 
Now his bolt sties.  all the woods in Arabia fail me in yielding such an other. I'll lame him first, afterwards (as my passion shall move me) I'll rage farther, have at his thigh, away flies the arrow buzzing in the air, as singing in his greedy voyage, for joy of this wished prey. After follows Sagittarius viewing how his hungry arrow drunk up the Traitorous tainted blood.   

Capricornus: The Goat.  
NO sooner was this brunt over, but lo another calamity (more anger yet) Capricornus the Sophy-bearded Goat came frisking in, as if he would have capred over the Alps, his chinny dependent was bedewed with his pearled sweat, that issued from his head with too much haste, which so tired him, that falling flat and flexible on his knees, he thus 'gan say. Since this fire-founder Prometheus incensed the whole course of nature, 
Now the Goat's beard begins to wag.  by his damned inventions, lust and jechery, the buds of heat and ardour have dispersed themselves, through all the ranks of breathing creatures. My gray-bearded Sire well calculating the event of this mischief, would ever charge his sons and daughters, to beware of those force-enfeebling companions (the children of heat) declaring to us by way of Items (as he went grazing 
Hairy bodies lecherous.  down the hill) the aptness and inclination of our bodies that way. I (for mine own part) thought myself sufficiently instructed against these hotspurs, but having them occasionately tostin my way, I resisted (like Ovid's Corinna) as though I would 
Grata est vi●… ipsa.  not join. And suddenly my spirits were so strongly addicted to the sinful act (so strangely framed to the venom of venery (that even now already I am become the odious signature and emblem of unchastity. Yea when men would decipher to the world a man that is lodged in lust, in one word (by way of metaphor) they term him a Goat. Neither is this the utmost 
Goat's Emblems of lust.  of my grief, or of the scathe that this fire-brood hath done me; for he hath so searched and wrought upon my body, that I am continually vexed with the spirit-spending ague, as the Quail 
Goat's subject to agues. Quails to the falling sickness. Gout, of Goat.  with the falling sickness, or else ever buckled and bended in the knees, with the joint-tormenting gout (which I think borrowed his name of Goat) as now I am, whilst kneeling I tell this story. So that damage herself calls upon me to sacrifice in wrath to her sister Nemesis. And (as I intent) this wagoner of lust shall rue my malevolent mood before he and I depart. His knees, which I trow are within my reach, for I will proportion his penance to the quality of his offence, shall be the object of my baneful butchery. Oh! ever will I pray that the Gonagra may possess his hams, and the Sciatica his hips eternally.   

Aquarius, The Water-bearer.  
But opinion might persuade me, that of all men alive Aquarius the water porter should not fume at fiery Prometheus so much, since old Oceanus the Signior Sea-god would lovingly call him his endeared friend. Yea but Aquarius has excellent reason for it, and will tell it as admirably, though he be illiterate and unlearned: For (saith he) in times past when fire was kept under board like a prisoner, and dwelled far from our houses like the Antipodes, every Conduit might flow his circle, every fountain run his dripling race, without molest; but now since 
The rage of fire.  fire is grown superlative, and breathes nought but devastations and incendiaries, since it hath got the knack of translating houses into bonfires (for envious neighbours to warm themselves by) making them lofty torches, as though they would 
Water bearers are sore emptiers of full tankards.  outface the Moon; the pipes of our aquary conveyance have been so drawn, the channels of springs so sucked, that I can sound my tankard like an empty cask, and look into the bottom, but see not a drop of water. And assuredly were all the waters in Europe sunk down into their kennels, yet would I lave this thief with this relic of water in my tankard, and send it into his shoes with an Army of imprecations that it might prove like the Aethiop. Well in the day time, or the Sicilian river in the night; or (at least) like the English font that saxifies wood, and turns it into rigid stone: that his supporters might be congealed, and his legs condensed into glassy ice, that boys might slide his shins to shatters. Nay but there be more tormentors of my kind coming: draw the curtains of your eyes and see.   

Pisces: the Fishes.  
IN good faith 'tis strange my Masters to my sense, a couple of fishes (I'll tell you their names as they fall better into my knowledge) come leaping over the fallows like pepper in a mortar, 
It may be they are two Ottars.  as though revenge had sent them on her errand. The company turned their heads back jointly at the voice of that news, like a steeple-weathercocke at the landing of another wind: well, not many skips spent, but fortune lead them to this Igni-fur, and being seated low by nature, they covet no higher than his feet, 
Fire-stealer. Why the fishes govern the feet.  (a lesson for Ambitiosoes) which by this time were drowned in water that ran from the Water man's pitcher, (sufficient life room for these two sworn brothers) where engraving some few signs and characters in the plain visage of the water (for fishes are the mutest creatures alive) the beholders might gather thus much.  
Fire (which this Tyrant to fishes hath invented against us of 
An Oration writ in water.  the moister or be) hath so instructed the fish-chasers in the Art of framing bearded hooks, and such inevitable baits of faithless forgery, that the hare lives not in more fear of the hound, than we of these traitorous enticing (I may call them Italian) Salads. 
Yarm●…uth Herrings co●…rplaine much of this. Thus use the Fishmongers when they blow their nails.  And alas, when our captivated corpse are yielded to those scalehunters, then begins the Tamberlaine-Ignis to broil our bark, and carbonado our well-compacted limbs. In heat has this hunter offended, but we will torment him in another kind. Oh, let our frosten nature benumb the passages of his veins, and let no blood of warmth have recourse to these forward feet that 
T●…us use the F●…sh-mongers when they blow their nails.  led this wretch into this woe, whiles that our tenter-teeths armed with envies points, nibble on his toes, & vex his corns & kibes.  
jove thus seeing the delinquent perplexed in every part, shoring up his eye lids above the snow-topt Caucasus (where were met whole troops and multitudes of all kinds, except some drops of Mechanical, and a spoonful of old women, that were suiveling o'er the fire, spreading themselves either as actors or spectators 
That's to say, the 12. Signs.  in this rueful tragedy) hoist up these his instruments of revenge, that took arms on them against this Traitor Prometheus (whom he left standing still) into the greater plain of heaven, called Coelum stellatum (the starre-coated sky) where he placed them every one in his order of revolution and dignity of desert, composing of their bodies twelve special signs. And because they were so far seated from the regiment of human constitution, jove thought it good that they should apply their 
The Moon conveys the virtue of these constellations into our bodies. All Sublunary bodies guided by the Moon.  power to the Lady Moon, and she should convey the virtue of their constellation into man's body, as being nearer and better acquainted with the same: so that eversince the Empress of the lower world sojourning in their palaces, hath a more forcible operation in our body's constitution; that though Prometheus and his offspring be distant from their corporal domination, yet by their infusive quality (as it were by an unknown sympathy) he is still pliable to their syderial regiment. The bleeding sores jove sent Aesculapius his Physician to cure, Vulcan (his Armourer) to enfranchize and set him at liberty, and Mercury his Page to bid him void the hall. Prometheus' roused himself up (as though he had slept on avernus bank, or had pulled a twig of Lotos' tree) got him to his earthly tent, weighed the order of the matter well, Ioues proceeding and his offence, and wore out the rest of his life in some better ease and contentment. And now has my pen (like a wandering planet) run through the circle of the Zodiac: let your favour assist his next journey, or 'tis like to be eclipsed.    

A general Calendar for the common motion of the Moon in all the months of the year.  
Full Moon in miser's purses on payment day: with Landlords at Michaelmas and our Lady day: with beggars when they are trussed full: with women when they have great bellies: with the Moone-taverne in Alde●…sgate street, when there's no room in any room.  
Last Quarter, with thieves at Newgate, two or three days after the Sessions: with sick persons when the bell rings out for them: with my Almanac, when 'tis put under piecrust.  
New Moon when the goodwife sets her cheese together, or when the Tailor broacheth a new fashion.  
First Quarter when my Hostess vents her new vessel, and I clap two pots on my new score.   

The disposition of the Planets for this year.  
LAdy Luna, queen of Variety, and mistress of alteration, 
Luna. Women more Lunatic tha●… man. Change, Noviltie. Apishness, 3 good girls. Mercury.  shall Domineer in the minds of women, more than in all the world beside, (the Sea excepted). Her two handmaids, (Change and Novelty) shall something infatuate religious ears: but the sap of her Tree (Apishnes) shall colour the whole Court, City, and Country: And God shield the University.  
Mercury, the god of Cozenage (as the Poets term him) duck's with the Sun, like a Dog with a Mallard, and follows his train like an Apple-squire; but so muffled in his cloak, and so hooded in his knavery, that a man can hardly find him, for all the candle is so near him. He shall reign in Fairs and Markets more than in the sky: In tradesmen's shops more 
Cutpurses pray for him.  than in his Orb: In the minds of fetching companions, more than in his sphere. Buying and selling will be as good as a pair of stilts for him to walk his stations on; And chopping and changing better than a brace of arms to hold him up.  
Venus is likely to be Retrograde, falling backward under the 
Venus.  earth after Sunset: somewhat shortheeld (an ordinary fault in an Hackney) I fear me, she will prove combust with some 
Burnt as many of her Train are.  of the rest, after once or twice Conjunction.  
Sol sits in the midst, like a Diamond in a Ring, or a Centre in 
Sol.  a Circle, that all the other dim-sighted stars are the lighter for him: His Nature can hardly be imitated, 'tis so difficult, to be impartially-liberall: He is likely to enlighten more eyes than 
I believe it.  understandings, and to heat more bodies with warmth, than minds with zeal, yet he that gazeth on him too much may 
Zeal is not so hot.  hap be put blind, and he that pisseth against him, may be counted a fool for his labour.  
Mars will take horse at the Armourers shop, and never leave riding till he fall in the Amorous lap, (Venus and He sympathise 
Mars. Soldiers are whoremasters.  so well together). His chiefest news is a common guest with us, that domestical sedition will be no foreigner.  
jupiter tells me his like for Ambition will easily be found, but not a Compar for Celestial Regiment. Those that will love as he 
jupiter.  did, will not be so kind to their loves as he was. jupiter bore Eu●…opa on his shoulders, to show that our Governors should sustain 
A Moral.  Europe's Kingdoms. jupiter himself was once sufficient to bear Europa on his shoulders: God grant that all our jupiters' be able to bear up Europe against her strong enemy, the Turk.  
Saturn, the father of Melancholy, is like to domineer in the minds of those that have lost purse and money: that have 
Saturn. Let such repair to Mall Cutpurse. A tribus ad centum. More fools they. No matter.  made an ill match, and could find in their hearts to hang themselves. In maids likewise that are tympanizde before their time, and in boys that are sullen: In those that have lost at Lotteries, and in some that watch out their money: In Poets when they are scurvily rewarded, or paid; and in Players when for their bad Acts they are scurvily hissed.  

Predictions for this year.  
1. MOre blazing stars will be on the morrow after Simon and Ides day next in Cheapside, then were seen at the conquest of julius at Rome.  
2. More Charles-Waynes in London highway than in the high Down of Heaven.  
3. More Planets amongst Scholars opinions, than fixed stars.  
4. More quaking Agues in cold complexions, than in the earth.  
5. More shall dine with Duke Humphrey, than sup with the man i'th' Moon.  
6. More battles fought in the fields, than in the clouds.  
7. More Satin and Velvet will be taken up upon trust, and God damn me's, than shall be paid for in seven years after.  
8. More boxes on the ear shall be given at Billingsgate with a good hand and a heart, than willingly shall be taken.  
9 It is to be feared, that divers Noble men will run the City quite thorough and through, being drawn so to do, by the devilish headstrong whorry of their Coach-horses.  
10. More stinking breaths will be begotten by Tobacco this year than children.  
11. If the singing men of the Chapel of Paul's, and of Windsor meet this year together in any one of the Courtcellers, I set it down infallible as Fate, some hogshead or other must that day be knocked sound.  
12. More plucking of men by the cloaks and elbows in Birchin lane, than clapping men a the shoulder at the Counter-gates.  
Some wise justice of the Peace, that sits not upon the Bench for nothing, avert these ills, and clap up these threating mischiefs in the close prison of obscurity, by the vociferous doom of his inexorable Mittimus.    

Rules for Health, and Profit.  
PVrge when you come from a gluttonous feast within some hour after the cramming of your guts: but if your body be foul, the joiners of Southwark can tell you how you may have the best stools.  
Let blood when you have a pig to be killed, and long to see it come in piping hot.  
Lib or geld cattle, when you see them begin to be too stone-hearted.  
Evacuate by vomit when the Sun in New-fish-street draws excellent French wines, that leap up in your face.  
Fell timber and wood, when you are to build, or want a good fire.  
Reap corn never till 'tis ripe, and rather than want money, away with it to market as fast as ye can.  
Cut hair, if it be too long, or that the head is lousy, or when you are to go before a shaving justice, lest he cut it for you.   

The Quarters of the Year.  

WINTER.  
THe Winter this year will be as like a mess of mustard as 
Winter, a mess of mustard.  may be; cold and moist, of a phlegmatic complexion; only hot in the nose, by virtue of the frost-nip, but the best is and you clap a piece of bread to your snout, you shall find present remedy.  

Diseases incident to this Quarter.  
Are hunger, (a sore disease, and very dangerous to the maw). 
Winter diseases.  Lazinesss, with her three daughters, 1. Crouching in the chimney corner. 2. Lying a bed. 3. Kibed heels.    

SPRING.  
THe Spring is like a piece of powdered beef, that is new 
Spring, a piece of powdered beef.  skipd out of Purgatory: of nature hot and moist (paralleled to the sanguine complexion) I mean when 'tis but slenderly boiled, so that the blood may flash through the crashers, (this were enough now to make a good stomach bark) or else the simile holds not. And surely there will be very good agreement betwixt powdered beef and the Spring, that falling so justly in Lent: Nay Taurus himself (the sign where the Sun dwells in the height of the Spring) shall domineer in this Quarter, as lively as in a Butcher's shop.  

Diseases incident to this Quarter,  
Are crawling things, being Lobsters, wriggling Eels, and other 
Spring diseases.  fish, to weak and watery stomachs, and fasting days to good stomachs.    

SUMMER.  
SVmmer will be like the beeves marrowbone, (sweet and 
Summer, a marrowbone.  sweaty) smacking of the taste of the doublet collar: Of a fretting complexion, being called Summer, quasi Sun-more, because the Sun is more powerful then, than at other season.  

Diseases incident to this Quarter.  
Diseases that now land, are dry throats, and wet backs. For the 
Summer diseases.  first, the first part of Cancer (the sign which Sol sets foot in at the beginning of this Quarter) is very sovereign; but the latter must be beholden to the Launderer. Choleric humours will rage now in a man's body, more than in his picture, and a cross word may chance to cost many a servant a cracked crown, which though it will not be taken at the Goldsmiths, yet must it be taken to the Surgeons.    

AUTUMN, or Foli-lapse, (fall of the leaf.)  
THe Harvest quarter is like in my judgement (that I may go no farther than my mess of meat) to the pewter dish it is 
Fall of the leaf, the pewter dish  put in, (according to his natural operation, cold and dry) as opposite to the flesh that louse in it, as Cato and Catiline.  

Diseases  
That invest themselves into men's bodies, are gluttonous 
Autumni●… diseases.  surfeits, up-hording of corn, raising of rents, and arresting of debtor: the eight 
a H.  Letter in men's joints; the old wives 
b Griping.  Vice in young folks bellies. And thus have I anotomized the whole body of the year, and read a Lecture upon the 4. Quarters, with what particular diseases hang upon every Quarter; But the body of the year being great, gross, and subject to much corruption, his breath striking all sorts of people (as being infectious poisons them in general.) And these are other diseases which I find willbe reigning.     

General Diseases to reign this year.  
MAny young wenches will be subject to the falling-sickness, 
More hospitals must be built if this world hold.  cramps with pitiless convulsion will hold fast the strings of Miser's purses. Giddiness and staggers, threaten Draymen, Porters, Tapsters, Carmen, and Shoemakers upon Mundays. Swellings both in men and women: And some women greatly vexed with Pushes, but every prison horribly tormented with scabs. All the Fiddlers that play upon wind Instruments shall in cold nipping mornings have fistulas in their fingers. The tooth ache, will vex young-childrens, at first 
Fistula a pipe.  breeding of them, and young people that are to pluck teeth out, will be ready to run mad; Comfit-maker's wives shall cry out, to have a hollow-tooth stopped, and waiting Gentlewomen, never lie still till it be drawn. Some Carbuncles will be found amongst Goldsmiths, but they not very hotly reigning.   

Inundations and most strange Ouer-flowing of Waters.  
Never did the stars stuff an Almanac with more prodigious births of nature than this year is to bring forth, Sins of men grow thicker than the Haire-bushes on the head and having filled bodies (as by the former Hospitall-bed-role appears) with maladies, mark how the very Element of water, (as if heaven had drunk up a second deluge to drown all) spreads abroad his dankish and shoury wings.  
For Widows that have buried 5. or 6. Husbands before, are 
Widows drowned in tears.  likely this year at the burial of the last to weep out so much water, as may serve to wash another wedding smock, but that joy hath dried up both the conduits of their eyes.  
So will rich Heirs, and Executors wear mourning garments, and have Onions in one hand, but branches of hearts-ease 
Rich Heirs not an eye to see with.  in the other.  
The Lord majors cauldrons, brasse-pots, kettles, chafers, skellets etc. will have their waters, and broths flow up so high 
These waters do less hurt than the Thames doth at belings gate in men's 〈◊〉.  in his kitchen chimney till they gallop so fast that they shall (in spite of all Scummers) run over, whilst all the fat runs into the fire. Hot-waters threaten so to overflow the stomachs offrozen blooded Bawds and dried up Pandresses, till they lie drowned, being dead drunk, that roaring Boys shall take their Hack-ney Mares out of the stable, put them into Caroches, & 
Terrible doings at war.  ride them to Ware, for nothing but their provender.  
Rumney-March, by all signs and tokens will meet with such an inundation of waters this Winter, that the Summer following, 
What beasts are Oxen to do this.  Oxen shall go up to the knees, and sheep up to the bellies in grass; (A fatal manger to fatten f●…oles at,) for they feed themselves plump, and no sooner fed full, but they go to the pot.  
If all the jailers in and about London should this year shake off the fetters of mortality, the learned Astrologians are of opinion, 
This will be a woeful d●….  that all the Cellars and tap-houses of prisons would be drowned in strong-beere and Ale, which from the eyes of barrels should gush out for extreme sorrow.   

Of a Dearth.  
ARe there more horrors yet? yes, yes, every mischief hath 
Wenches and mischiefs are ever breeding.  his Twin, and no calamity was ever borne alone: what can follow Diseases but Inundations of waters, which are tears? And after deep ●…loudes, Dearth must of consequence play the Servingman.  
Infinite numbers therefore of sheep, calves, and oxen shall 
Tragedies a●… none of the playhouses. Our Constables carry Geese thither.  this year die, so that people will be in danger to be better fed than taught. The blood of these Innocents' will die red a shambles, and most merciless cutting of throats shall there be in Eastcheap. A thousand Lambs shall be carried to the Stocks, and three times that number lose their lives at Smithfield B●…s, some of them in that butche●…us massacre being driven up into White cross 〈◊〉.  
Beef will be sold so dear, that an hundredth pound will not 
What will th●… price be with a mess of mustard too. Gild H●…l smokes for this. Pillories. Baker you hole for 9 pence.  be taken in Cheapside for a stone; nor in any other market, 19●… 6●… be taken for a pound. Against Simon and judes day such a dearth and death of poultry, that all the Cooks in London shall sit up day and night to make coffins to bury them in.  
Bread (by the scarcity of true weights) will be so little this year, that many a Baker will rather stand on the pillory, and have his batch marked with o (a Goose eye, the memento of a pillory) then to give every loaf his just bigness.  
Pheasant, Partridge, and Quails will be very dainty this year, 
Stultorun plen●… sunt omnia.  but Woodcocks shall fly up and down the City.   

A brief and merry Prognostication, presaging good fortunes to a Set of fundamental TRADES.  
THe string of sorrow is now tuned to a merry note: Diseases, drown, dearths, and other dreary Tragedians, get you from the stage: And now let a company of jovial Citizens have a fit of mirth, to make them laugh a little.  

MERCERS.  
YOu that fold up Angels hues, and attire your walls with Indian coats, never sink your souls to your shins, nor look as desperate as a piece of Rash for the matter: For this year shall old plain Lads, that never went any farther than the Letherseller 
Brave doings for Mercers.  for their habits, mount to your shops, wrap themselves in your royal weeds, and scorn to dine thrice in a suit. Old Enclio●…s, and old Coridon's shall persuade Chr●…es, and all three 
The World in a n●…w coat.  swear it in silk, and sweat it in satin.  
Bespeak new shop-books in Pater-noster-Row; Inquire for them of an 100 choir; make a new Counter on the other side; for such a cluster of Dash thrifts, and Scatter goods are coming up out of all Shires, that your shops will swarm again. I could tell you (were it not needless) what a volume of velvet Ladies trains will devour, and of which pile●…, and what a bundle of silk of Seres will be trussed up in gentlemen's wardrobes. 
But not paid for.   
Long Summers will discard the Draper, when every tender soul must have a stuff gown, for cloth is too stubborn: Punks are now no more regarded than withered pinks, unless 
All West minster can witness ●…his.  the head wears a saffrond chaperoone, and the back a loose gown of light coloured silk. Not so much as Madam-Fill-thepot (mine Hostess) but must have a changeable silk forepart, and every country lass a taffeta Apron; for linen is ware for milkmaids; Perpetuana is for Pedants, and attorneys clerks; and Durance would be thought an excellent wear in some Virgin's petticoats. Every plain Ploddall will have a velvet neck-peece, and every old Bawd, will have her heels guarded with sparks of satin. Every fool will clothe himself with Rash, in all his actions; and every fantastical Ass will be in a fustian fume at this my Prognostication, but ●…di profanum vulgus.   

GROCERS.  
Never look as pale as your sugar-loafes (you cinnamonian Gingibers) for that your spices groan in their bagge●… like 
Grocers.  a pig in a wallet, I can tell you there are ten thousand sour countenances, that hope all to be sweetened by the Grocer: Nay all the scolds tongues in the Country that were wont to rail so bitterly must be bathed (as it is decreed by the authority 
Grocery war●… good physic for scolds.  of their Husbands) in the oil of your ware, that is in the syrup of sugar; for your hotter spices, why they'll fly quickly, abundance of choleric complexions will never be without hot mouths. And you yourselves know that every body will take pepper in the nose before he hath a casket to put it in. All the children in the world (if they be like me (will have a sweet tooth in their head, the first that grows out of their gums: Yea and your own Prentices, will yerk a clod of Curranes currently down their throats, and it may be pocket up an injury as big as a pound of sugar to welcome a friend in a Tavern.  

Old folks shall take my Lady's part,  
that often use this speech,  
I love the Grocer next my heart,  
the Skinner next my breech.   
Every Old-trot will wrap up a race to heat her cold stomach. 
Christmas comes but once a year.   

The gentle Nurse to still her Babies cry,  
Will hasten to your shops your plumbs to buy.   
Not so much as the Cobbler, but he shall have a plumbe-pie as black as his wax he slimes his thread with, so well stuffed that the Grocer shall quick-smother the Butcher: and weak waterish stomachs (as tender a●…●…son custards) shall not break a piece of flesh without Spanish trappings.  
Boone-companions shall purse up a nutmeg to muster with a blacke-pot and a tossed, and he that will drink a cup of muldsacke must needs lay up a crust of ginger: Raisins will be much asked for, especially in an action of injury, and he that hath none of the Moon must come to you for some of the Sun: Your starch will be in great request for stifning, and your blue will keep a band clean an whole seavenight. If you please I can help you to those will take your Tobacco freely, and rather 
I believe you.  than fail our Scullion hath got such an use, he cannot make clean a pair of boots without it, Tobacco makes him spit, and this is the reason why the shoe-clouts look so pale in respect of the inside of a Tobacco pipe it fears a drowning. 
Tobacco keeps boctes clean.    

DRAPERS.  
NOr you (M. Drapers) that harbour the minds as well as the mantle of sheep, droop your fronts like a piece of 
tailors have a hell for that purpose.  well basted cloth: for Gentlemen shall put more cloth in their hose now then ever they did, and Tailors ask more lining then ever they had. You shall not need to fear the second birth of those French Gascoynes, nor the base retire of bases, when a cloak or horseman's coat is more comely. Good husbands will have a cloth gown to sit by the fire in, and whip off a measure of ale; and all our wives that smell of huswiuery must have their winter weeds from the Draper. An ordinary cloth shall lose the nap within a month after it kissed the back, and a good shower of rain shall wash off the wool of a new cloak. White freeze will turn the warm fashion, because 'twill say well against the cold wind; and frizado the Country Ministers will buy up to make them Cassocks, because 'tis warm and comely. Your yard is like to be as short as ever it was, and you shall have many days as dark as twilight. But the main is this: there is a lean spindle-shanke, that looks as if he had eat never a bit of meat since the creation, will speak to you for a thousand black, he will help you to sell them, and you need not see him, Mounsieur 
Death a friend to Drapers.  Mors, Domine Death, that peeps over the Merchant's shoulder whilst he casts up his gains, and sums up his hundreds. He has pinched a number of them by the arms, and has given some a pluck by the shoulders. He has set some old ones in Charon's boat with one foot, and another in their beds: but 
Some men's misery is other mirth.  when he wasteth they must all attend him. It is a merry world with you when many mourn, and the more wet eyes the more dry clothes.   

FISHMONGERS.  
I Promise to you (you soldiers under happy Herring) that there shall be great store of Fishmongers this year. For all 
Fishmongeri.  the Butcher curseth our fasting days, yet shall your gettings be good: and if he grudge that you should be permitted to sell all the year, and his shop shut up in Quadragesima, you shall tell him that Lent is the Fishmongers harvest, though it be the Butcher's spring. You need not fear the defect of water, for a cold morn shall wring it out of your nose, and you take it not off with your sleeve. A Cod's head will be an ordinary dish, or a dish at an Ordinary, and a red sprat a good breakfast for a prentice. 
Cod's heads are picking meet all the year long.  Stockfish and Onions will be a dish for Dutchmen, and a side of Ling will make a double brace of Seruingmen beards wag. The kindreds of Rufus that frequent the grape, will metamorphize their noses into Rochet: and he that has no facing may feed upon his cousin Greenefish. Every maid will be in love with fish, and old men will make much of Hearing. In fine, the fishmonger shall be more beholding to one Recusant, than all the Puritans in a City.   

GOLDSMITHS.  
PRoface (you goldsmiths) hearken to my news, and i'll 
Goldsmiths. Goods ill got, worse spent.  make your hearts jog like a quike-siluer jelly with laughing. This year shall great minerals of gold and silver burst out of miser's coffers, and their heirs shall play their pelf away at span-counter. What though the golden age be worn out? yet the golden Art shall flourish still; and though no mines of the earth appear to us, yet earthly minds will be plenty. Every jack will have a jewel in his ear, that he may defy the pillory with the better grace. And many elder brothers shall study Alchemy, to concoct the gold their friends left them. jolly travelers, hot shots that mean to breath in beyond-sea air, shall come to you to metamorphize their Moon into your Sun, their shillings into Sovereigns, to clap them closein their coffers, 
Silver into gold goods Al●…ie.  and so geld England of her gold: And posters to Fairs shall court Ducats, to beguile thieves, and lessen their carriage.  
On S. George's day you may put out a thousand chains to grass on men's shoulders. And you know what the Citizens will give for one to welcome his Maiestieto London.  
A blue coat without a Cullizan will be like Habberdine without mustard. Every kitchen maid will have a marriage ring, as an emblem of her good man's love. And the youths of the parish will offer gold at a Bridal, the metals purity being a signet of the Bride's virginity.  
Negligent servants will crack their Master's plate lest it last too long: and a little fall will make a salt look like Grantham Steeple, with his cap to the Alehouse.  
Fine wives will have a Gold smith's shop on their Livery Cubboords, though their husbands stand up to the chin in 
wives pride undo husbands.  the Mercer's Rolls: and five thousand will have silver in the mouth when they have none in the purse.  
Gallant Ladies will have silver stools for fear of pollution; and every Malkin will have a silver bodkin to rouse a bird in the haire-bush.  
Every busy wooer will present a costly necke-lace to his lovely joy, and not a pin that came not through your fingers. Gossips at Christniugs shall help you away with many spoons, and New years gifts (to leave out bribes) are able to make you rich. There shall be more gild now then honest dealing, and gentlemen's spurs shall speak false Latin: they shall jingle as if they were all silver to the heel, when they are Led at the heart.  
Many Church doors shall be opened with silver keys, lest the locks be thought base than the bell-metall: and that which 
Silver keys open any door.  you thought not of, most men might climb the ladder of promotion by silver steps. And after all this 'twill be good fishing with a silver hook.   

SKINNERS.  
OLd wives (you Pelliteers) that are as gripple of the world 
Skinners.  as a man shot over board of a rope, shall line their coats with your softest furs, lest they forfeit their voice to the cold. Your badge shall be worn in ruddy Braggadotians' countenance, for modesty shall hang down the head like a twig with a pompion at it. Our Citizens must have their destructions from the Skinners, or else they'll confound their Order; and inaulated Punies must have a silver hair for their capes, or else Littleton will not know them.  
The trotting peddler shall summon up to your shops an Army of coney skins, and pick them out of the Country kitchens, 
Pedlars good benefactors to Skinners.  for points, pings, and all to enrich you. Every simpering Sib and coy Katherine shall round a muff before her as a case for her nose, or a den for her fingers in frost-biting weather; and every Oyster-wives throat shall be furred with Marry muffs, when cold complexions will be content to warm their fingers in a meaner fire. Your trade must needs hold, for every Yipsitaptrapolonion will maintain an excellent good facing. But you must not when you espy an hard-favoured Gentleman with a bugled cheek, or a chin like a vizard, place down your row, with cry, will you buy a good face, will you buy a good face Sir? 'twill make him hereafter go five miles about rather than grace your street any more with that face he has, as bad as 'tis.   

TAILORS.  
I Presage (you Limb trimmers) a shipfull of new fashions 
Tailors.  shall sail into our coasts out of the Isle Lunatic, and you dapper Lannoes shall make at the footman's armour so valiantly, 
Tay lors pray for new fashions.  that they shall pierce it in an hundred places. Your snippers never looked so bright as they are this year, and your goose shall so be counted the valiantest lad in a Country, for that he can make many Drapers shrink. I foretell a great rot amongst the present fashions, they shall change as fast as the Moon for her heart; for mine own part I never loved them since my horse died of them. 'tis like to prove a very windy spring, and by that means many Venetians will be blasted out behind: every one rub one till the world is out at the elbows; and they that use wrestling must needs to the Tailor. Every schoolboy that plays the truant should not want a jerkin. And he that learns more knavery than virtue, should have a breech or two. An 
Birchin. breeches a good wearing for boys.  Ocean of Indentures will not serve you for measures, and as much thread as would compass the world will be stitched up in a twelve month.  
Rich men will be ashamed hereafter to transport their hose so often to the Butchers, for fear they purchase creepers; neither will there be any more such old miserrimoes, that when they hear one knock at the door, will clap on their gown (their slovens cover) lest their patched rags appear to the world: I know you shall take measure of them for a new suit first. Finally, a long waste will be much in request if you can frame it, because a short body is obnoxious to a stinking breath, the mouth and tail are too nigh.   

HABERDASHERS.  
Never indenture your foreheads soruefully (you bonny bonettonists) for you see the fashion of steeple crowns (a sore 
Haberdashers.  waster of felts) is already past. There is an Ambassador making for England now, so fraught with acquaint humoralities, and attireable sesquipedalities, that he will set all the noses of your now worn bonnets utterly out of joint. But do you hear me, never doubt of the fashion of your blocks for all this, rather when a swad-swaind Gentleman shall amount into your cranny-lighted shops, and call for an hat of the Courtier's block, exonerate 
The Courtier's block.  your press, out with a Spaniardo, and clap it on his coxcomb, and swear an oath as long as your tongue, this hat is excellently blocked Sir.  
For the state of your trade, your fools caps will this Summer fly all from your stalls, that stuck there this seven year, to 
fools Caps.  keep the wit of addle pates from freezing, and many old boys shall drink till their caps crack. White hats will take slur quickly, for their colour is labecutable, and pure black shall moulder to dirt, for that was burnt on the block.  
Citizen's wives shall shift their taffeties often, for that the low portals knap them out at the crown: and all my black sisters must get them broader brims, for these will not hide their forehead faults. A shower of rain shall put a pasteboard out of square and order, and a little drop will cockle your silk, as rising for revenge, if it come from a gutter. Five hundred Virgins shall be married in their velvet potlids, and but ten millions 
Brides.  of blowses in their Felt stoole-pans. Oh how many Brides will measure their brain on their wedding eve in your shop, and he that roofs not his wife under one of your shelters on his marriage day, shall be trust up in wool, and sent into Burgundy.  
Prentices shall wear no more caps, for it makes them look 
Prentices flatcaps.  like costards, and he that fronts it with straw, must be content also to lie in straw. But the best friend to men of your mould will be mannerly courtesy and obsequious compliments. Two friends shall not pass in the street without an interchange of veils, nor old men see Cardinal candle cast his eye upon the 
Cardinal Candle.  table without reverence to his charity. As for those of your name that are conversant with small wares, they shall fly out of your shops like foul words out of a thankless person.   

SALTER'S.  
ANd as for you (M. Salter's) you'll flourish this year, for 
Salter's. White herring, Hot Summer, Fresh beef, the 3 pillars of Salters.  white herrings, an hot Summer, and fresh beef, shall stand as stiffly under you as any three legs under the bright trifoot in the world. All the Brewers have sworn by the pearly cognizance that barley corn gives his Pages in their faces, that there shall be no more broom foisted into the vate in stead of your hops. Fatal cords will be busily set on work, and hempen caudles will be common physic for desperate persons. Mice and Rats will gnaw the Good-wifes' yarn, and hands and feet shall rub out her linen, so that need will make her troth to your Worships for flax and tow, and thrift will make her set her maid to the distaff. Musicians will be counted scrapers and crowders if they buy not some of your resin. And had not our sow cast her farrow, it should have gone hard but we would have had some of it to unhaire a fat pig. Ships will leak and they be not lined with your pitch. In a word, the wheel and the Brewer, the Shepherd and the Mariner, will make you now or never.   

IRONMONGERS  
YOu that draw your line from the loins of Iron-side, you shall have harder doings than ever you had since your hammer 
Ironmongers.  told his master what his trade was, and I think an hard world is that which you desire. Such an iron age is now on foot, and such a crew of copper consciences, that to sheathe a blade in a man's corpses will be counted voluntary valour, and a hard 
A hard world with iron-mongers.  heart will be thought a good spirit, steel to the back. Opulent rich clunch-fists as lie in as much fear of the pilferer as a Buck of the wood-knife, and to prevent the purloiner they shall gird the ribs of their chests with girths of your iron, and lace the belly of their money-tombes with laces of your weaving.  

He's mad that lays up gold of Ophir  
In a wooden lined coffer.   
Boys are as like to break glass windows as ever they were, and that will make men speak for your wires: and thieves are as like to break prison, and that will make the Gaoler sue for you iron to bolt them: a warming pan will be counted excellent physic for a featherbed, and an iron cradle very good authority to hold up seacoal. My gossip Gooseling must needs have a fair pair of Andirons to garnish her hall against her bellies a-bed; and all the wives in the parish shall beg as much of their sweetheart's at midnight. All the Hobbinols of the Country shall arm their high shoes with your metal to encounter with London stones. And there shall be so much scratching between Susan Scold-out and Tib Tattle-basket, that I am persuaded the single combat will make you sell all your nails.   

VINTNERS.  
A Cask full of comfort for you (crimson-nosd Vintners) 
Vintners.  that quilt your guest's apparel with the best bombast: you shall not need to take much care for those fellows that war so long under the Colours of Sack and Sugar in the Rearward, that now they are like to make an uproar, and cast up their accounts after the shot: never fear any foul play in this case: for when sergeant Grape has arrested any of these Sym suck-spiggots of an action of liberty, then shall gaffer giddy hale them to prison, where Somnus the jailor shall shackle their 
Giddy, the Constable.  hams, till the fume of Bacchus his anger be over, and then you may save their credits and your own with a grace. This year all the Cato's in the world that never used wine but physic, shall take it down at their diet as lively as Tricongius, and all our abstemious youths at the sight of Qui medice vinit misere vivit, shall turn pure swash, and visit your Taverns at midnight. Many Physicians shall set it down as an Aphorism, that a cup of wine (as the fellow said of butter) shall be good 
Praise of wine.  for any thing: old excellent for old men: It shall inspire more wit into the scholars brain, than all the Muses can from their fountains: make a Lawyer's tongue resound like a mill-clack, and enrich a Courtier with a nest of compliments: it shall make a Clown step into the fashion, a beggar take the wall of a Gentleman, and a coward go into the field with a fencing Germane: Nunquam nisi potus ad arma, never fight but when thou art foxed shall be the soldiers motto: arcana recludit, wine untwines hidden mysteries, shall be the Poet's poesy, and a cup of Hippocras shall be the best stomacher for a sweet heart. The benefit of 
Hippcras stomachers.  a good stomach shall be the grapes attribute, the exiler of melancholy shall be the title of the Vintner's hogshead, and the reviving of the fly-blown blood in old men, shall be lyens his ho●…. divers friends shall meet jump at a Tavern, that were almost worneout of memory, then must a quart of wine play the Ambassador to renew the league of friendship between them. Sack & Claret are like to rise in your houses, if the party's stomach be not sound: And sobrieties light shall be clean extinguished with your liquor.   

CLOTHWORKERS.  
WErt not for two weathers, your trade would be down, 
Clothworkers. Two sort of weathers uphold Clothwork●…rs.  the first from the sheepfold, the last from the Sun: but both shall succeed well, if rot and the rain cross not my Calendar and prove your bane.  
Tush, Mr Furbushers, the moth will set you a work as long as the Ram shall have a warm coat, and dusty laziness shall send ware to your shops: as long as winter shall be fronted with frost, flatterers shall claw their prodigal patrons like your currying cards, and envious varlets will stick on men's coats to prick their proceedings like a burr. A cozoning nip shall sheepsheare a coney of his coin, and poor men may be sure to be priest to the quick. Many a Chuff will steal a nap by the fire side, and many a crafty mate will raise wool out of a hired bare coat.   

DYER'S.  
ANd for you (Dyer's) your colours shall be washed off this year better than ever they were, your dye shall be so 
Dyers.  slightly grounded, yet as well beloved as ever they have been, men shall be so light minded: A good blast of wind shall blow away a sea-water green, and a forty miles' journey will banish a garden violet; purple in grain shall challenge a ruby nose, and a brown blew a Tobaconists inside. Maidens-blush shall be counterfeitly worn, and gall imbrued green shall be a colour 
A true Maidons blush, a colour hard to be found.  for a malicious pine-soule. Pursuers of the aspen quaking Buck shall image the grass, to resemble forrestry: mourners shall court their sable hues, their Ebon backs to imitate night, woe, and death: and Divines their Crulean sky colour, to put them in mind of their Embasidie: Every creature shall have his several colours, and not so much as the Russet coats that were wont to be worn on ploughmen's backs as they came from the lambs limbs, but they shall this year have a lick at your dye pan. In a word, sick men and Dyers shall be dying all the year long. 
Dying all the year.    

BREWERS.  
ALL Royston fields (Brewers) shall be barley this year, you Nectar-boyling Brewers: and the best part of my garden 
Brewers.  shall be hops, and all to support the usuer of good liquor. A thousand brace of black jacks shall duck to the Malt vate, like the Friar to the Pope; and an whole army of resin Canns shall anatomize the corpse of barley corn, and all to enrich the patron of good potation: Fill your barrels full with heart of oak, and flower of the field, then will they untruss an hoop, and lask like a squirt, so shall the maids fawcets fly from the taphole, and this will make them troth to the fountain of liquid liquor again. Every Market town shall be better furnished 
Alms and Ale have not one entertainment.  with houses for Ale than for Alms, and that village shall be counted a dunghill of Puritans, where there is never a tapstering of been bouse: small beer shall be for dyet-keepers, but strong twang shall prove as good as bagg-pudden (meat, and drink, and cloth). The best medicine for the fleas will be a cup of merry-goe-downe, and the only help to clap the door upon sorrow, and shut him out, will be a draft of March beer. 
Cares are drowned in cups.  The merry Physicians counsel to an odd patient of his shall be the very pitch of Paracelsians diet: the first draft will wash a man's liver, the second increase his blood, and the third satisfies his thirst: And all the world knows what the Countryman's bond is,  

A pot of Ale still the assurance doth hatch, 
Good wa●….   
And serves for the Scrivener to bind up the match.   
The water in netherlands will taste of the brack, and most of those Flemings would taste of our English beer: Harvest men will be as dry as the Arabian sand, and a dozen of haytossers will quickly toss down a bung of moisture: salt meat will be a great dish if it come to the board in a Charger, and that will draw down liquor: Red herring will prove a prologue to an hungry fast, and that will work for the Brewer. Monsieur Domingo Knight of the malthoop, has enacted against Sippers and Sparrowinchers, but those that take off their life by quantus shall be dubbed on a barrel head: There will be one in a parish 
New Dubbing.  shall piss as much against the wall in a year, as half his neighbours spend in three. Other of your customers shall carry as much as your horse: But those that drink in an empty cup may chance to have sore lips for their labour.   

LETHERSELLERS.  
YOu that cloth your shops with cattles coats, be not all a mort, as dumb as your hides: for all our Park vermin are like 
Lethersellers.  to fall into paste, and our Bucks head into pots to pleasure your faculty, and wardrobe your shelves. A buff jerkin will be a lordly wear, and a pair of buskins a preservative against the gout. All tradesmen that occupy with the leathern Apron shall sue unto you, so that your vocation may be called the forepart of most Mechanical; and many Cutpurses shall nip those foreparts to make you vent your leather: our boys in Lent shall put 
Cutpurse's loving to Lethersellers.  off and scrape to your Worships for a mettle to coarse their tops, and most of the world will turn Adam and Eve, and put on mortality: the owners of our country will be new belted against Christmas, and the plow-ioggers of our town must smell of your Counter at Easter: To conclude, ample indentures, large copies, and drum heads will metamorphize your skins, and you will let them.   

PEWTERERS.  
FRom great and gorgeous swilling (you pewter john's) issueth a world of leaking, and I know every man will purchase a 
Pewterers.  pisspot to prevent the colic, or else he must spout out at the window, and that may prove perilous to the urine, if the descent be violent. At fairs and marts young married wives must look out for their vessels, and all the year shall Francis Truge wear your button's mettle before him. Many a good bit shall be turned in your platters, and many a mouth shall pronounce (when the feast comes marching in the Pewterer's livery) that you are the upholders of all good cheer. Basins and Ewers shall revive into the fashion, as a pewter standish proves profitable for a Scribe, 'twill be somewhat chargeable in the melting, but foist in the leaden lubber, and it will pay your pains taking. seacoal fire this year shall melt a million of dishes, and the negligence of servants shall put many a pot in the pillory: for pewter shall be the softest natured gentleman, he shall sink every blow, and take thought inwardly at every knock. In sum, 
This is most true.  a pewter pot of Ale with a tossed in his belly will quench a man's thirst better than a silver tankard with nothing in it.   

BARBER-SURGEONS'.  
YOu cunning Cut-beards, never let your stomachs quail to suck your living out of festered sores, for lucri bonus est odor, 
Barber-Surgious.  Silver has a sweet sound, ask Vespasian the Emperor else: for your comfort, a proud match at football shall send many a lame soldier to your tent, and a fiery fray in Smithfield shall bring many a bloody companion to your shop, the fencing schools will serve to keep your hand in ure, but the bragging prizes, an 
Bragging prices.  hundred pound to a pigs-turd, will put chink into your purses; the French something shall line your Squirrel skin's brimful, and stretch the strings, and so thoroughly choke their throats, that they shall speak no more than an ovens mouth rampired. Oh the income, that is, Neapolitan shall bring in an hot summer 
Neapolitan Incomes.  to you, and it were not for tobacco which is a preuenter, I think Chirurgeons would be the only purchasers in London: joints shall be ill knit, and Gentles shall cut their fingers, sanguine complexions shall swarm, and letting of blood will be common. But the spider shall intercept something of you again. He shall be Phlebotomist to the fly if she come in his net, & the fleas must be let blood at Midsummer for God a mercy. Tavern quarrels shall find you Sunday-fare all the Sundays in the year, and lazy Ignavoes that sit still and putrefy like a mud-sinck, shall fall into your hands for felons. And this shall attire you from Good-friday to Maundy-thursday, cursed and crabbed Masters shall 
Cracked crowns beget silver crowns.  send many a cracked crown to your cure, and the toothache shall find you beef for your house your life time: young beards shall pullulate and multiply like a willow, if worm bark them not; howsoever, shaving will be good to make a down spout. The picky devant (I presage) will be the cut, and a pair of moustaches that will fence for the face, shall be the tantara flash seacole. Fume shall besmudge our Neatoes, that they shall go to the Barber's ball oftener than to Church, and every nice Bachelor shall entreat a lick with the Barber's apron, and a dash with his rose-bud, to smell odoriferous in his Mistress nostrils.   

ARMOURERS.  
THe foresound Chirurgeon, and Vulcanian cres fist sacrifice 
Armourers.  alike for quarrels, but bellum, bellum, war, war, would fit the Armourers hand better than a pair of gloves of twenty pound, yet in pranking peace, the canker and rust taking the Armourers part, so bedent the soldiers livery, that men must seek unto this ward-part for amendment, or else prepare their purse for fresh ones. But I take it, I speak it to the encouragement of this brood of Mulciber, who framed a child's shield, and Aeneas his armour, that within a while, arma viramque cano will be the world's poesy. men's bodies are but of earthly mould, but their minds taste of fiery fury, a little word will kindie war, and the Spaniards selfe-conceipt must have its issue. It is comfort enough for you that sweat in the wardrobe of war, to foret●…l that men shall be proud, for pride is such a manly mother, that juno-like she can beget Mars without a father. Armour of proof will be in great request at the tilt, and fearful frogs will down with their dust for good breastplates. An helmet will be an excellent wear for him that has little wit, and a gauntlet a good guard for a tender fingered combatant. 
Hares in helmets.    

BAKERS.  
NVrses this year, you little fisted Bakers, shall crumb their infant's milk with your white bread, out of all measure, 
Bakers.  and a white crust shall make no more teeth bleed, to fright little ones from the love of it. Though daily delvers mumble on a brown crust all the year, yet they shall sweeten their chaps with a white loaf at Christmas, and though the vulgar shall browse on your bran, as cheaper in the purse, yet most will desire 
Christmas loaves.  your loaves like your boulters, as whiter in the hand: beside, the Physician will tell you that is hard of digestion, when this will nourish out of all exclamation. Poor men shall not have money enough to bargain with the meale-man, and that will make them take it of you by the penny, and those that will be wealthy, shall have no skill to heat an oven, & that will set your boys awork to carry it to their doors: white puddings shall 
White puddings  grate upon many a loaf, and soppets in white broth shall drown many a dozen. I will be thought the travelers Autidote, to let his tongue play at tennis with a crust before he drink, and as good physic as any in Galen, stomachum concludere sicco, to truss up the stomach with a dry bit. shoemakers shall lose 
A crust good physic.  their predominant armour, of a barrel of beer to an halfpenny loaf, and Tailors shall be patterns and presid ents to sober men, a bushel of wheat to a tankard of beer, lest they cut their fingers when they are whitteld. Lastly, bread shall be 
Beer a puffer. Bread a nourisher.  concluded the better nourisher, and beer but a puffer: bread shall show itself the honest binder good loose livers, when liquor shall be known but a loose fellow, and thus farewell Mr Baker.   

CHANDLER'S.  
FIne Ladies that set by their scents (you lamp-wrights) will 
Chandler's.  make such a face at the sight of a tallow-Chaundler, as if their holiday ruff were on fire: fah! what a gross light is this? in truth Sir Timothy, it condenses the wit, and stupefies the brain; pray let our flames be wax, and this will make the waxer shrug, and say this gear will cotton one day. It is like to prove a very dark winter (except Lady Luna borrow her face) and you know it is hard borrowing of faces (though Hypocrites might spare their counterfeit ones) and torches will be another star in the streets; beside, every knock at a post will dash out a rib, and then where dwells the Taperer. tailors shall spend searing 
tailors help Chandler's.  candles beyond your thoughts, by reason of the abundance of extravagant stuffs that shall act on their shop-stage, and virtuous virgins must have a wax-candle with them to the nocturnal lectures, 
Puritans love virgin-wax.  yet verily. But oh the long nights that shall devour you pale-bodied blazers (you marrow-melting Luminists) and the windy chinks that shall lave out the candle with the great wick, how many thieves think you will steal into the tallow, and play 
Chandler's make ill husbands.  prodigal with the workman's light, and how many good husbands will card it all night by the help of your faculty.  
I would not have you look as if you were grinding mustard, and took thought for the utterance. I tell you, salt fish and powdered beef will make your Querne fly about like a windmill in a tempest. The Butcher must sell you his tallow at a reasonable rate, for fear of the rats in the winter, and the summer heat shall melt it off from his stall into the kennel, and there's for your buying. Honest men will be as scarce as none fingered 
Honest men as scant as good Tobacco.  and unsophisticated tobacco; and knaves (you know) must have good store of soap to scour their shirts, or they will never be clean. Many cast volumes will fall into your employment, your doing will be so great: but forbear I pray you to wrap your half penny wares in these leaves of mine.   

GIRDLERS.  
NOw you waste-circulating Girdlers, you that are the best in our age for Tutors and Guardians, you can keep men 
Girdlers.  in compass, better than all the counsel of Love, or the authority of Law can do: the time-trodden proverb, will doubtless stretch himself on his startups again, male cincti, male sancti, ungirt, 
Vugirt, unblessed.  unblessed: and that will make men seek for the Girdlers bless, to avoid some unfortunate curse, and those that be made Praecincti (as Silla said Caesar was) shall be counted shrewd underminers of the commonwealth. Licentious and loose-living will be as much abandoned as may be. And when a man is well girt, he shall think himself far warmer, which will be as good as an Orator to persuade men to the Cincturer: great Gashimargoes shall prove wiser than geese, and who are light in the middle, cause they wear no girdles, and shall gird in their paunches, for fear they run about the house, and fine wastes shall make much of a girdle, to keep their bodies in fashion.   

CUTLERS.  
NOw (you Cutlers) how many shavers will be sharp set trow ye? he that claps him down at a board without a little 
Cutlers.  sword in his sheith may chance to rise an hungerd, or be set upon with the Gentlewoman: what Sir have you never a knife, then cut my finger: old men shall make as much of a knife as of one of their best teeth; and your good housewife shall so love signor Cultello she will not suffer him to be absent from her side: The highways will prove peremptory and therefore a weapon will be 
signor Cultello  a good Companion, and the Thief that ruins the Country Lad will let him ride like a freeman and he but swear and discourse to him of his irons. The Soldier that lies on the bare ground ready to be congealed with cold, shall think his side very warm if he have the Cutler by him. And he that delights in blunt metal may cut his foreman's throat with a packsaddle.   

BUTCHERS.  
AN hungry year (you carnal Carvers). I know you shall have, for the conjunction of heat and moisture (in the 
Butchers.  kitchen of disgesture) foretells no less: and he that hath no stomach to his work, or not a piece of a heart to meet a man in the field, shall have as good a stomach to his provant as a starved brislebacke to his waste, or a croopeard coarser to his mil-brusd beans. Wolner (that cannon of gluttony) shall revive again, 
Wolner the great Eater.  and those that lived by love, and feed upon the air, shall fall to their victuals, and furbish their trenchers. A piece of powdered beef will make a man as strong as a cable, and a target of veal 
Targets of vealeare excellent weapons.  will be as good to defend a sick body from dying, as a dead crow to defend our corn from the living; pottage that will fur the ribs (an intch thick) are mere restorative, and the best fast-killer in a morning will be one of your marrowbones: mutton will be like a ripe meddler, or a false Lover rotten at the liver, but never pine at the spleen for it smells of the bloudpot: keep your own counsel, set a smooth face and a round face upon it, and then there is never a Steward that sharks in your shambles will smell out the putrefaction. The Tanners will prevent the worst, and ply you with pledges aforehand for your hides, but keep not back the horns in any case for that's ominous. Furriers and glovers will put money into your hands as warm as 
Furriers and glovers the Butcher prays for.  wool for your sheep skins, but for the love of a chitteriin see you hold your beasts entrails at a clean price, and make the Tripe-wives pay sweetly for them, or I protest in the presence of an hogs countenance i'll never feed more on them. The countrey-farmers wives will swap with you quickly for their calves, because they draw away their milk, and mar their good markets. And the Graziers will send you their big bon'd-beeues upon trust if you pay them largely, and keep your day truly.   

SADLERS.  
I shall never beat it into your brains (you horse-rigde-cushioners) 
Sadlers.  what care men in general will take for soft Saddles, lest their shrewish wives get the vantage of the Proverb ('twas Socrates' speech when he was in jail) He loves not his wife that loves not his tail. Coaches are like to have a downfall this year if the horses be frantic at aside of a ditch; and penny fathers will say 'tis fond to be vexed with a brace of jades when one is sufficient to tyre a man; dirty passes shall so bespot the complexion of a velvet saddle, that if your Prentices were horses they would break their halters with laughing, and the dusty canker so spoil the Silkman that he must be brushed till he be bald again. A voider for those fellows that will ride flat breeched on a swains panel; I do not think that you shall take one man (that hath but a dream of wealth) in that trick of clownery this year. Why I tell you every substantial web in a parish that hath a seat of his own in his Church shall buttock a saddle, and adorn his pranser with your stately trappings. And jockey that rod on his Courser (hair to hair) shall suddenly 
jockey a Gentleman now.  leap into his tuftaffity. Horses, will be headstrong as unnurtured Lobcockes, and snap their bridles in pieces as fast as hops; the powerful provender shall make them swell in the belly like a sullen girl in the cheek, or a wench after toying and that will crack girts apace: but for conclusion divers women shall saddle their poor Husband's backs, and make plain 
Women saddle men.  Ninnie hammers of Noddies; and the Lenten-faced Usurer shall bridle our prodigal spendalls most miserably.   

CARPENTERS.  
YOu human harbour-raisers, you are the only Householders 
Carpenters.  in these days of doe-no-good: for were it not that you held up the house without by your faculty, it might well fall down within for want of hospitality, well there be a abundance of rotten doors in London, and they must all fall into your chimneys 
Hospitality dwells no where.  shortly; for we must not look for another Orpheus to build a City with his harmony, our musicans will never do the like to that Theban; I tell you many over-leaning buildings will lack a little of your help, yet some of them that bow to my Lord Mayor when he rides by their front, and lean into the streets as though they would shake him by the hand, or look the farther after him, may stand as they do to teach capround Slovens agility in the knee. As the bed's head rises, quoth he that was wont to lay his bags there, our houses must stand, and as I store up my wealth I will story up my Chambers.  
Away (quoth Mounsieur Prodigo) with these base cottages of Philemon and Baneis, my generous blood cannot brook such 
Two poor people of whom Ovid writes.  a degenerous lodging, down with wood, and up with my older oaks, stone is too damp, and brick is too cold: all this tickles the Carpenter, I would be loath to tell him too much of his joy, lest with his laughing he fall from his building; and mar the fashion of his perpendicular: You shall not need to see the top-gallant the Tiler for he'll leave many a crack in the crown of an house for his own commodity, and that will make timber rot like a muck hill, and you know that the decay of a Commonwealth is first in the state, the defect of my body first in my head, and the ruin of an house first in the roof. Finally, many things will be exceedingly out of order, and there will be much use of your line, rule, and square.   

SHOEMAKERS.  
YOu'll laugh till you stink again (you Shoemakers) to 
Shoemakers.  hear yourselves called eternal Constables, and that (without control) you can cast the best Gentleman 〈◊〉 the Land into your stocks, only upon his suspicion that he would have a fine 
Gentlemen put into the shoemakers stocks.  foot, or means not to tread in his old steps. I protest, I think you are able to make a greater fleet in a rainyday, than the King of Spain in his whole age, for all his fleeting. This is in your shops an excellent Memento (make but use of it) of your mortality. Wet weather will be as good as a purgation, for dry leather, and boys spurn-point will grate out shoes as fast as a Cook can bread. Our Sirs that want shoes must trash out their boots, and if they be in love with the fire to night they must be in league with you to morrow. Those that would be taken for Gentlewomen must sue for shoes that creak like a frog, but our shrewd-Dames will have dumb bottoms, that they may rush upon their maids as 'twere out of an ambush. As long as hats and shoes shall be slipped on with horns, your Trade shall be 
Hats & shoes pulled on with horns.  extant, and as long as you clap the fur to tender Virgins soles, you shall maintain the name of the gentle craft.   

PAINTERS.  
YOu Beauty-shadowers, that rob the rainbow of her colours, and disrobe the golden-garden of her Orient spots, 
Painters.  and flowers; your craft shall have his spring all the year, and your Art his flourish all your life. The Parasite that gives the dug to humour, shall paint it in soothing to his Patron, the light Lover in phrasing to his Mistress, and the undermining cunnicatcher in compliments to his coney: The impotent debtor shall paint it in protesting to his Creditor; the fetching Salesman 
Excellent painting.  in praising to the buyer, & all the world beside shall paint their bosom carriage with hypocrisy. Alas men are so frosty natured that they cannot be thawed but by viewing the colours of the playing Satyrs, and the coupling Nymphs behind the curtains; Heavens-smith with the skies fair one (chaste Lucrece) and her foe in a chamber; the banished Pardan and his fere in a cave: this puts life into the beholder's corpse, and coin into the Painter's calueskinne, while he lays colours on the table, they gilled his fist, and while he makes shadows for them he himself may sit in the sunshine. The ribs of tottering houses must be coated with a new paint against the christening of the next child, and a thin wall would have a Painter's skin, to shroud him from the blast of Boraeas: A coloured clout will set the stamp of decorum on a rotten partition, and a pretty picture will hide a hole in a hall out of all question; my Lord majors posts must needs be trimmed against he takes his oath. And the Vintner's lattises must have a new blush, and all these will make you suck your pencils to the bone. Oh but our sweet faced Gentlewomen will keep your profession in great request; our lacke-lookes and barren-beauties will uphold it for ever, when the old Bawd like a green apple parched in an Oven, or the Italian coulorist with his new cast face shall present this good complexion. Why then to painting speedily.  

When Natures birth appeareth lame,  
To aid with Art I count no shame,  
But the smoke of my lungs will melt the vermilion.  
And than more work for the Painter.    

The winding up of the Cleve.  
THus have you here the Zephyrall and Spring part of your destinies. 'twere a task beyond all time to suffer any Waggon-wheele, to press every lands end. Only if you pardon this precursion, it may so happen, that as I have here chattered of your vernal age, so I may hereafter tell you of your winter blasts, of the rigorous tempests that shall beat the blossoms from your blooming plants. But for this time I desist.  
So Tradesmen fare you well.  
Yet before we shake hands at parting, let us as Country Chapmen going from their Inns in a morning, give one another the Basilus on horseback, with a cup of white wine and sugar, if it be Summer: but now I remember, it being the fall of the leaf, and trees beginning to stand like tottered rogues half naked, a cup of mulled Sack and Ginger is better for the stomach. Take this therefore next your heart. I know that to catch riches in a net, you fish in all the wealthy streams of the world, besides the broad sea. But is it not more safe for you to angle standing on the land? And what land is more peaceable than your own? And upon your own, where shall you meet less foul dealings then at Fairs? To the fairest of Fairs I wish you therefore to turn your horses heads. Many Fairs are in England, and (being wenching fellows as you are) I think not but you have set up your standings and opened booths in all or the best of them. But my Prognostication speaks of other Fairs, to which if traveling, your purses be ever the warmer lined, stand wondering no more at the ill-faced Owl, but say she hath a piercing eye to catch Mice in such corners. And so in the name of Minerva (Patroness of Handicrafts) set forward, for now I proclaim my Fairs.    

Fairs in England.  
A Fare at Westminster bridge every forenoon of all the 4 Terms in the year: And in the afternoons of the same days, a Fare at Temple stairs: And these Fares (no bawdy booths in them) are kept in Wherries.  
A Fare on the Bankside when the playhouses have two penny tenants dwelling in them.  
A Fare at Black Friars, when any Gentleman coming to that place, desires to be a landed man.  
A Fare is sure to be at cold Harbour, when a fresh delicate whore lies there, cum privilegio.  
Bartholomew Fair begins ever on the 24 of August; but Bartlemew-babies are held in London (in men's arms) all the year long.  
A Fair at Cuckold's Haven every S. Luke's day; but all that pass that way have not gilded horns, as (then) the Haven has.  
The Fair kept heretofore at beggars bush, is this year removed and held in the prisons about London, and in some of the streets of the City too.  
A Fair of Horses at Rippon in Yorkshire this year, and every year a Fair of A●… at Layton Buzzard.  
A Fair of Sows on Michaelmas day at Blockly in Worcestershire, but your best pigs and fattest pork are at our Lady Fair in Southwark.  
A Fair at Rumford for Hogs every tuesday in the weeken but your fairest headed Oxen are fed in London.  
A fair Wench is to be seen every morning in some shop in Cheapside: And in Summer afternoons the self-same Fair opens her Booth at one of the Garden-houses about Bun-hill.  
A Fair pair of Gallows is kept at Tyburn from years end to years end: And the like Fair (but not so much resort of Chapmen, and Crack-ropes to it) is at St Thomas a Watering.   

The High ways of England, how they lie; and how to travel from one place to another.  
NOw because there are no Fairs, but they are kept in some certain places: And that no place can be gone unto, but by knowledge of the ways, I have therefore chalked out here some of the most notorious ways in the Kingdom, for the benefit of galled-toe-travelers, thereby the sooner to come to their Inns, viz.  
The way between York and London, is just so many miles as between London and York: It hath divers times been ridden in a day: so that by my Geometrical dimensions I find it but a days journey: Yet the Post-masters of the North swear 'tis a great deal more.  
The way between Charing Cross, and not a cross to be found scarce in 20 purses, for one that passes by, is to be tried by many a Gallants pocket, with yellow band, feather Pendant-Reguardant, and cloak lined with velvet, and therefore here I spare to speak of so poor a thing.  
The way between the two Counters in London may be travelled in as short a time, as one of the Varlets there ventures his soul for money, & that's much about a quarter of an hour, or half at most.  
The way to prove the taking of any purse, (be it never so full) and to stand in that quarrel even to the death, is to go first to Newgate, and then to Tyburn.  
The way to be an arrant Ass, is to be a mere University Scholar.  
The high way to Bedlam, is first to set forth at Westminster Hall, and there to be undone in 4 or 5 Terms by corrupted Lawyers.  
Between stark drunk, and reasonably sober, is much about 4 hours sleeping: but some that have traveled those overflowing Countries, say 'tis sometimes more.  
The way to heaven is to walk with a good conscience; he that rides without it goes vilely out of the way, and ten to one if ever he gets thither.  
The way to Hell, is clean the contrary way to Heaven; the one turns a the right hand, other on the left.   


GOOD DAYS.  
1. Not one Whore in all Westminster.  
3. Not one Knave in Longlane.  
4. Three Catchpolls cast into the Thames.  
8. All that walk in Paul's dine to day.  
10. Nobody hangs in Barbican.  
14. Attorneys get no money.  
15. Not a bribe taken this Term.  
17. My Husband is gone a ducking.  
18. Bobb for Eels now or never.  
20. A coney for nothing.  
23. I hole for 9 pence.  
26. Turn-bull Street full of Puritans.  
28. The Scrivener ith'pillory.  
30. Room for the Baker.   

BAD DAYS.  
2. Quarter Sessions.  
5. Farewell and be hanged.  
6. The dore-keepers steal.  
7. Globe a fire.  
9 Cockpit plucked down.  
11. The play is hissed at.  
12. My wife is out of her letters, and falls to joining.  
13. Not a woodcock to be had for love or money.  
16. The Chambermaid is bedridden.  
19 He hunts close, yet has lost his hare.  
21. I can read my Husband's name in his little boy's hornbook.  
22. My maid is poisoned with a pudding.  
24. His Evidence is burnt, yet the Seal is saved.  
25. A cuckold by Westminster clock, & that goes true.  
27. You are peppered.  
29. Ale-tap-wives in loose gowns.  
31. None of the Guard drunk.   
These 31. Good and Bad days, may wait as Pages upon all the Months in the Year, and the rather, because our bad days are still more in number than our good ones (as here they are). Also, because where the days are Bad, none can be worse than these; and where they happen to be Good, few better than these.  
FINIS.