¶ The demands Joyous.    

Demand. who bore the best burden that ever was borne. ℟. That bare the ass when our lady fled with our lord in to egypt. ¶ Demand. where became the ass that our lady road upon. ℟. Adam's mother de de eat her. ¶ Demand. who was Adam's mother. ℟. The earth. ¶ Demand. what space is from the highest space of the sea to the deepest. ℟. But a stones cast ¶ Demand. when autecryst is come in to this world what thing shall be hardest to him to know. ℟. A hand barrow/ for of that he shall not know which end shall go before. ¶ Demand. How many calves tails behoveth to reach from the earth to the sky. ℟. no more but one & it be long enough. ¶ demand ● How many holy days be there i the year the neverfall on the sundays. ℟. There be eight that is to were the three holy days after Eester. iii. after whytsondaye/ the holy ascension day/ and corpus crysty day. ¶ Demand. which been the trulyest told things in the world. ℟. Those be the steyres of chambers and houses. ¶ Demand. which part of asergeaun te love ye best to ward you. ℟. His heel's. ¶ Demand. which is the best wood and least brent. ℟ wines. ¶ Demand. which is the most profitable be'st & that men eateth least of. ℟. That is bees. ¶ demand. which is the brodest water and least jeopardy to pass over. ℟. The dew. ¶ Demand. what things is it that the more that one drinketh the less he shall piss. ℟. It is farts & fyestes/ for Who that drinketh a hundreth thousand they shall never piss a drop. ¶ Demand what thing is it that never was nor ne●●● shall be. ℟. Never mouse made her nest in a cats ere. ¶ Demand. why drive men dogs out of the church. ℟. Because they come not up and offer. ¶ Demand. why come dogs so often to the church. ℟. Because when they see the altars covered they ween their masters go thither to dinner. ¶ Demand. why doth a dog thourne him thrice about or the he lieth him down. ℟. Because he knoweth not his beds heed from the feet. ¶ Demand. why do men make an oven in the town. ℟. For because they can not make the town in the oven. ¶ Demand. what be'st is it that hath her tail between her eyen. ℟. it is a cat when she licketh her arse. ¶ Demand. which is the most cleynelyest leaf among all other leaves. ℟. it is holly leaves/ for no body will not wipe his arse with them. ¶ Demand. who was he that let the first fart at rome. ℟. That was the arse. ¶ Demand. How may a man know or perceive acowe in a flock of sheep. ℟. By sight. ¶ Demand. what thing is it that hath horns at the arse. ℟. It is a sack. ¶ Demand. what alms is worst bestowed that men give. ℟. That is to a blind man/ for as he hath any thing given him/ he would with good will see him hanged by the neck that gave it him. ¶ Demand. wherefore set the● upon church steeples more a cock than a hen. ℟. if men should set there a hen seh would lay eggs/ and tehy would fall upon men's heads. ¶ Demand what thing is it that hath none end. ℟. A bowl. ¶ Demand. what wooed is it that ne●… 〈…〉 rest upon. ℟. The claper of a lazars dish. Demand how would ye say two pater nosters for your friends soul/ and god never made but one pater noster. ℟. say one two times. Demand which been the most profitable saints in the church. ℟. They that stand in the glass windows/ for they keep out the wind for wasting of the light. Demand. what people be they the never go a procession. ℟. They be those that ring the bells ein the mean season. Demand what is it the freezeth never. ℟. That is hot water. Demand. what thing is that/ that is most likest unto a horse. ℟. That is a mare. ¶ Demand. wherefore be there not as many women contained in the dance of Paul'S as there be men. ℟. By cause a women is so fearful of heart that she had liefer dance among quick folk than deed. ¶ Demand which is the clenlyest occupation that is. ℟. That is a dauber/ for he may neither shit nor eat till he hath washed his hands. ¶ Demand. what day in the year been the flies most afeard. ℟. That is on palm sunday when they see every body have an handeful of palm in their hand/ they ween it is to kill them with. ¶ Demand what time of the year may maidens most with their honest fyest in the church. ℟. In lent season/ for than every saints nose and face is covered so that they smell no thing ¶ Demand. what thing is it the less it is the more it is dread. ℟. A bridge. ¶ Demand. wherefore is it that young children weep as soon as ever they been borne. ℟. Because their mother is no more maiden. ¶ Demand. wherefore is it that an ass hath so great 〈◊〉. ℟. Because het mother put no begin on her heed in her youth. ¶ Demand what is it that is a write and is no man/ and he do the that no man can/ and yet it serveth both god and man, ℟. That is a be. ¶ Demand. which was first the hen or the egg. ℟. The hen when god made her. ¶ Demand. why do the an ox or a cow lie. ℟. Because she can not fit. ¶ Demand what people be they that love not in no wise to be prayed for. ℟. They be beggars & poor people when men say god help them when they ask aims. ¶ Demand How many straws go to a goose nest. ℟. None for lack of feet. ¶ Demand. what time in the year beareth a goose most feathers. ℟. when the gander is upon her back. ¶ Demand what was he that flew the fourth part of the world. ℟. Cain when that he slew his brother able in the which time was but four persons in the world. ¶ Demand. what was he that was be gotten or his father/ and borne or his mother/ and had the maidenhead of his beldame. ℟. That was Abel ¶ Demand. what three things be they that the world is most maintained by. ℟. That is to were by words erbes and stones. why with words man worshippeth god/ and as of erbes that is all manner of corn that man is fed with/ and as stones one is that grindeth the corn and the other increaseth the world. De. what is the age of a field mous. ℟. Ayere And a hedge may stand three mous lives/ and the life of a dog is the term of three hedges standing & the life of a horse is three dogs lives/ and the life of a man is three horse lives/ and the life of a goose is three men's lives/ and the life of a swans 〈…〉 and the life of a swallow is three swan lives and the life of an eagle is three swallows lives/ and the life of a serpent is three eagles lives/ and the life of a raven is three serpents lives/ and the life of a heart is three ravens lives/ and an oak groweth. v. hundreth year/ and it standeth in one state five hundreth year and it fadeth five hundreth year beside the rote why the doubleth three times everich of the three aeges a foresaid. ¶ Demand. A man had three daughters of three aeges/ which daughters he delivered to sell certain apples/ and he took to the eldest daughter. l. apples/ and to the second. thirty. apples/ and to the youngest ten apples/ and all these three sold in like many for a penny/ and brought home in like moche money now how many sold each of them for a penny. ℟. The youngest sold first seven for a penny/ and the other two sisters sold after the same price/ than the eldest sister had one odd apple left/ and the second sister two/ and the youngest thrs' apples/ now these apples liked the bier so well that in continent he came again to the youngest sister and bought of her three apples after three pens a piece/ than had she ten pens/ and the second thought she would keep the same price/ and sold her two apples for three pens a piece and than had she ten pens/ & the elder sold her one apple for three pens/ & than had she ten pens/ thus sold they in like many apples for a penny and brought home in like moche money. ¶ Demand. what man is he that getteth his living bacwarde. res. That is rope maker. ¶ Demand. what people be the that getteth their living moo●● merylyest. ℟. though be priests & fullers/ for one singeth and the other danceth. ¶ Demand. what is he that made all and sold all/ & he the bought all lost all ℟. Asmyth made an all and sold it/ and the shoemaker the bought it lost it. ¶ Demand whether is it bet to live by theft or by alms deeds. ℟. The reward of theft is to behanged/ and if thou live by alms deeds that is by beggars tordes ⁂  
¶ Thus endeth the Demands joyous imprinted at London in Flete Street at the sign of the son by me wynkind word. In the year of our lord a M. CCCCC. and xi. ⁂  
winkin de word   printer's device of Wynkyn de Worde