PSALMS OF CONFESSION, found in the Cabinet of the most excellent King of Portugal, Don Antonio, first of that name, written with his own hand. Wherein the Sinner calleth upon the mercy of God for his sin. Translated out of the Latin copy, printed at Paris by Federike morel. LONDON, Printed by G. Bishop, R. Nuberie, and R. Barker. Anno Domini. 1596. PSALMS OF CONFESSION, wherein the Sinner calleth upon the mercy of God for his sin. PSALM. I. WHo shall give water unto Esai. 9 my head, and a fountain of tears for mine eyes, that I may be able to lament and bewail the losses of my soul with grief agreeable thereunto? for there is a manifest and great cause of sorrow, when with the sight of my mind I behold mine ancient days, and my youthful years: in this meditation my Psal. 76. spirit hath failed me: for I Psal. 79. know what I was, yea rather what I should have been, and understand what I am, and fear what I shall be: and the less I sorrow, so much the more I fear. I would to God I sorrowed more, that I might fear less. But woe to me, O Lord, for now a long time thou smitest, and yet I sorrow not: thou callest, and yet I hear not: thou knockest, and yet I open not the bar of my heart. The sorrows of death Psal. 114. compass me round about: and being filled with many sorrows without, I feel inwardly no sorrow that may work unto salvation. And I feel not only the sorrows of old age, but I am a man of sorrow from my youth upward, and all my Psal. 87. days are full of travail and griefs: and yet I sorrow, because that always sorrowing, I Psal. 53. cannot sorrow. O marvelous Eccles. 2. and unspeakable wisdom of the heavenly Physician! O wonderful goodness of the high King! O singular benefit of him that is the giver of all good things! for thou, O God, givest unto me sorrow, lest I perish in pleasures, and that I may learn to rejoice without offence: thou givest me sorrow for a time, that I may not suffer everlasting pains: thou afflictest my body, that thou mayest save my soul: thou scourgest, that thou mayest heal: and killest, that thou mayest quicken. But alas, unwillingly do I receive thy salve out of the secret hand of thy mercy: and being ignorant, do not acknowledge the sovereign medicine of healthful sorrows, wherewith thou art mercifully severe against me, and how do I acknowledge it. If I earnestly desire to be delivered from sorrows, who without sorrows cannot be healed? for how shall he be healed without sorrows, who by delights is made sick? Therefore, O Lord, make me to sorrow, and teach me a saving sorrow, that my grief may be turned into joy, john 16. Psal. 12. and that I may rejoice in thy salvation, saying: Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, etc. PSALM. II. Days pass, and years slide away: but I unhappy man, who after so many corruptions of my soul, after so many most grievous and long falls, do not yet repent, nor am afflicted for my sins, neglect the often falling again into them, care not for rising from them, heaping new unto old, and greater unto less. What shall I do, O Lord? or whither shall I go, Psal. 138 when my last time shall come? where shall I be hidden from the countenance of thy wrath? or whither shall I fly away from thy face, when thou shalt call me unto judgement, and require of me account of the talon given unto me? What shall I answer unto thee? or how shall I excuse my negligence, when thou shalt sit upon the throne of thy Majesty, and command me to give account of my stewardship to Matth. 5. Luke 16. the uttermost farthing? Surely I will say, Lord, I suffer violence, answer for me: for who Esai 38. am I that I should answer unto thee in judgement? But what if thou compel me to answer? I will say as a man confounded, fearing, and trembling: O Lord, I have gained Matt. 25. nothing thereupon. Yea I have Luke 15. wickedly and vainly consumed thy talon, and by lose living I have spent thy goods. surely I have spoken foolishly, by saying living: for I should better have said by dying. But I than thought I lived, and lo I was dead, because I lived without thee my true life. And if I lived at any time with thee, I scarce remember it. Yea, if the life of a wicked man, may rather be called death, than life, I may worthily say, that I sooner began to die, then live. For I did not perfectly understand what life was, when I had forsaken thee that art the life of lives, and the fountain of life, & malice did supply mine age in manifold wickedness. I was scarce come out of my mother's womb, and already was a sinner. Coming into the world, being yet ignorant of sin, I did bewail the sin wherein my parents begot me: neither did I altogether leave bewailing others sins, when I committed mine own which I know, and did not be wail. Being an infant, I followed iniquities, and spent my childhood, wherein I S. August. should have been pure, unpurely: there breathed sinful vapours from the slimy concupiscence of my flesh, and the spring of my youth, and did shadow my heart, that it could not discern light from darkness, and the clearness of the mind, from the mist of lust: and traitorous and crafty pleasures did carry my weak forgetful lose age, into the headlong rocks of lust, so as I boiled up in whorings, desiring to be satisfied in hell: from my childhood I grew to growing years, neither was I sooner growing towards youth, than my wickedness did grow ripe: and I was bold to grow wild in divers and shadowy lusts, by the which being drawn and enticed with the gulf of wickedness, I was james 1. 1. Tim. 6. drowned to death and destruction. The evil and wicked days of my growing years passed on, and I grew toward youth: but I returned backward so much filthy in vanities, as I was elder. I was a young man, and came to be a man: but vice always flourished in me in stead of virtue. I waxed old and grey, and did not walk in thy ways: but as a child of an hundred years, being now an old man, I live childishly. Where then have I been at any time innocent that I would be judged of thee according unto the time of mine innocency, though thou didst appoint it me unto judgement? For Psal. 118. Psal. 61. job. 9 thou art just, O Lord, and righteous is thy judgement, and thou renderest to every man according to his works. And I fear all mine, because they are the works of darkness: and I have been a worker of iniquity from the beginning, and have always willingly followed the paths of the unrighteous. I have wallowed in sin as the swine in filthiness, and as he was fed with cods: so was I delighted with filthy and vain words, and grieved with earnest & profitable sayings. I did communicate with those that wrought iniquity, & did banquet with the chief of them, & did glory in sin, Psal. 51. being mighty in iniquity. I loved to excuse, and could not accuse myself, and made heavy my heart: and the more uncurable is my sin, for that I did not think myself to be a sinner. Neither did I only not seek a medicine for my soul, that was sick unto death, but refused it being offered: yea, with an unreverent and untamed mind was wroth against them, that would minister it unto me. I persecuted them that reproved me, and embraced them that spoke pleasingly to me, and was delighted in their speeches, that had not their heart right unto thee. I studied devices and lies, and in all things loved rather darkness john 3. then light. Behold, O Lord, I have declared myself unto thee: this is the course of my life, wherein I have deserved thy wrath. This will I answer unto thee, when thou shalt ask me of me: But do Psal. 25. not remember the offences of my youth, nor my ignorances, O Lord: and enter not into Psal. 142 judgement with thy servant, for no living creature shall be justified in thy sight: but if thou Esai. 61. wilt enter, because thou art a God that lovest judgement, do judgement unto me, but not justice, and judge me according Psal. 18. to the judgement of those that love thy name, that I may sing unto thee mercy Psal. 106. and judgement. Remember, O Lord, that though I am wicked, yet am I thy servant, and the son of thy handmaid, Psal. 81. and do not look unto the multitude of my miseries, but unto the greatness of thy mercies: Abak. 3. and when thou shalt be angry against me for my wickedness: remember thy mercy, that thou be not angry with me for ever, but have mercy upon thy afflicted servant, that my soul may praise thee, and confess thy mercifulness. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, etc. PSALM. III. WOe unto me, O wretched man, because I have made my Redeemer angry against me, and have rebelliously neglected his Law. I have willingly forsaken the right way, and as a sheep that Psal. 62. refuseth his shepherd, I have been carried far and wide round about through dry unwatered places, wandering in the wilderness, and not in the way. I have gone to all rough unaccessable places, and every Sapi. 3. where was anguish and tribulation. I have been wearied in the way of iniquity and perdition, and have walked in hard ways, seeking rest, & finding none, because I did not seek thee, O Lord, but was in a barren land, in the country of death, where is no rest, but continual labour and affliction of the spirit dwelleth there. When I was in honour, I did Psal. 48. not understand: but as one of the flock of brute beasts, my dwelling was among the walks of wild beasts. I dwelled in anguish with pleasures, and among thorns did I make my bed, and slept in death, and hoped for rest in torments. Now therefore what shall I do? whither shall I turn myself in these so great dangers? All the hopes of my youth are fallen down, and I am made like one that hath suffered shipwreck, who having lost his merchandise, swimmeth away naked, being tossed with wind and sea. I am carried far from the haven, and do not take hold of the way of salvation, but am carried away on the left hand. The enemy hath placed nets for me which way soever I went, and snares for my feet: and I despised them, and walked securely in slippery places, and flattered myself in sins. I thought youth was not held by the law of death, and being deceived by this confidence, I followed the filthy desires of my flesh, and gave the rains beyond all measure to sensuality, following it whither soever the force thereof did carry me: and said, a fool in my heart, wherefore Psal. 5●. dost thou think of the end before the middle? thou hast many days yet remaining, and mayest be converted when thou listest. So waxed I old in sins, and a most wicked custom was turned into nature: and now like a bondslave unto Barnard. sin, I serve as it were enchained, and as a mad man haling his own flesh, seeketh to hurt himself, all reason of deliberation being quenched: so I more grievously and dangerously have hated mine own soul: for the impenitence of my heart, and obstinate wilfulness, hath laid violente and wicked hands upon me, and hath torn in pieces and exulcerated my soul: and so having brought unto myself the heaps of hell, every day more and more according to my hardness and impenitent Rom. 2. heart, I do whoord wrath against the day of wrath. I have made trial sometime to shake off the old yoke, but am not able, because it cleaveth to my bones. O that at length it may fall from my neck, that I may love thee though late, it shall surely shall away, if thou O Lord command, and send me help from above. I confess I have not deserved it, but thou, O most gracious giver, who makest the Sun to rise indifferently upon the good and bad, and grantest temporal blessings to the unworthy, even when they ask them not: how canst thou deny spiritual things to those that shall require them? Have mercy therefore upon me, O Lord, and fulfil the desire of a poor man, thou that art rich in mercy, Ephes. 2. and art wont cheerfully to Rom. 12. have mercy, and dost purge the will from evil custom, and hearest the groanings of Psal. 101. those that are bound, and losest us from the bands which we have made unto ourselves, unless we raise up against thee the horns of false liberty. Give thy right hand unto the job 14. Psal. 36. work of thine own hands, that when I fall, I may not be bruised, and being bruised, I may not be drawn into the Esai. 14. deep lake, wherein is no water. Deliver me from the mouth Psal. 16. of the cruel lion, that is ready for the pray, and gapeth after my soul, that he may devour it: for thou only art my protector and deliverer, and in thy mercy alone is all my hope. Let thy mercy therefore Psal. 3● Psal. 3● be done unto me, according as I have trusted in thee. I have trusted, and shall not be confounded, but obtaining my desire, shall sing unto thee: Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, etc. PSALM. FOUR MY nights pass away in grief, and vex me with innumerable terrors: my conscience shaketh me while I am awake, and I am tormented therewith as if I were wounded with a two edged sword: my sleep is troubled with divers illusions, bringing me no rest but travail: I watch all night in my thoughts, & when as being wearied I endeavour to give some sleep to mine eye lids, by and by sleep departeth from mine eyes, and I sleep always in sorrows, being wakened with an unquiet weariness from the care of the job 30. day, and all my inward parts are inflamed without rest. The job 33. meat which before I desired, is made abominable unto my soul, and my drink is mingled Psal. 101. with tears, and confusion is before mine eyes, and redness in my cheeks, when I remember how grievously I have offended thee, O my God, and in how many sorts I have abused my strength and thy gitfes: I have spent my days in vanities, everlasting cares have consumed me, and being carried hither and thither with senseless cogitations, I have spent my time. I feigned to myself dreams oftentimes, and rejoiced: and vanished away being deluded in my vanities and madness: I ascended into Psal. 106. heaven, and by and by descended unto the deep: and while Psal. 41. one deep calleth another, my soul did consume in evil, & I did rot before the eyes of men. I wished impossible things, & by the fantastical fruition of them, I was made like unto them that sleep, and rising from their sleep, have found nothing in their hands. I am a vile worm, and yet, O Lord, I did never know thee, but with an high forehead have exalted myself alone above all. I have rashly boasted of my words, and in pride thought them to be wisdom. I was an enemy unto my companions, and being angry with many did reproach them without cause. I hated patience & loved wrath, and would be angry without reason. I cursed my servants and familiars, yea and myself also when I was angry, and scornfully reproached my friends. I did unwillingly bear mine adversities, and have put my trust in man, more than in God. I heard the truth unpatiently, and answered the wise in fury. I sought injuries and revenges willingly, and never reserved revenge unto God. I waxed cruel against him that defended his own cause: neither did a soft answer, or a Prou. 6. gentle man please me. I took pleasure in strife and contention, and as a wicked man, did often sow discord & hatred among brethren. I received with mine ears wholesome and good counsels, but did not apprehend discipline. I did with a mild countenance behold such counsellors as tickled mine ears: but those that spoke unto me with a free mind, I put far from me. I Tobia. held not out my hand to the needy, neither did I eat my Tobit. bread with the hungry: the beggars and lepers did lie in the streets, and I passed away turning mine eyes from them, lest my bowels should be stirred, and I moved with mercy, should give alms unto them. I paid not my debt to them that did lend unto me, and did borrow to satisfy my inordinate desire. I coveted to be rich, that I might do unlawful things, and in all godly duties showed myself poor: and what I wanted to godliness, did largely abound unto my lust. I rejoiced beyond measure in all gluttony and banquets, and with unsatiable greediness, offended nature that is contented with little. My belly was as it were my Philip. 3. god, & my glory in the shames of those that savour earthly things. I sought the sweetest and most exquisite meats: and with the pretence of necessity I did often shadow the desire of pleasure. I put my Psal. 49. portion among the adulterers, and my familiar conversation was among fornicators. I was immoderately conversant in blood: and being like unto bruit beasts, I was so overthrown in this vice, that I shame to speak, what I shamed not to do. Mine ear and my tongue served vanity, whilst by the one, the oil of sinners did make my head fat, and with the other I supplied often that, which others seemed to want concerning my praise: and as opportunity served, I did set forth to others mine own praise, and did always rejoice to be set forth both by mine own, and other men's speeches. To conclude, I lived in all kind of pleasure of this world, being banished far and wide from the delights of thy house: and if at any time the fear of death, and the last judgement did quicken my sloth, and for a little time call me from the deep gulf of pleasure, by and by I returned as a dog to his vomit. Being dead in them, I yet live, and abiding in death, I hasten to death, and see death also swift by coming unto me. But let thy mercy, O Lord, Psal. 78. quickly prevent me, before that terrible day of misery and calamity do come, the great Psal. 25. and bitter day, that though I Zeph. 1. die, I may live, and declare thy mercies above all thy works, Look back, O Lord, and behold how my soul lieth in her concupiscences sick of the palsy, and is evil vexed there with: deliver it from the fast bird-lime of death, that it may cleave unto thee alone, who only art the true life, and leaving all others follow thee that art above all. Say unto my soul, O Lord God of my salvation, Psal. 27. 54. Math. 15 be it unto thee as thou desirest: make me to hear this thy voice, a voice of rejoicing and salvation, that I may run after it, and take hold of thee, and keep thee fast, and not let thee go, until thou sendest me whole away. For being sick, to whom shall I go but to thee, that I may be cured: or who can heal mine infirmity, but he that for man & mankind came down from heaven, that they might be healed of their griefs? who can 1. Reg● quicken, but he that doth mortify & quicken all things? who can save but thou, O my God my Saviour, in the time of tribulation? save therefore and quicken me, thou that art the life and everlasting salvation of all that put their trust in thee. And to thee that art without 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. beginning, be glory without end: to thee be praise and honour, to thee be continual worship, thanksgiving, thou that art the everlasting spring of mercies: for I was gone far from thee, and did run away, and yet thou dost speedily come to him that is sick and run away, when he calleth upon thee, & dost grant him health, before thou hearest his sighs: for to be willing to be healed is enough, that thou shouldest heal, and to be willing to live, that thou shouldest grant life, and in the blessing of thy sweetness dost thou prevent the desire Psal. 20. of a sinner that doth know himself. Therefore I will say unto thee, O Lord, and it shall suffice unto me, I know mine Psal. 50. iniquity, & what is it to know? but I will be healed? and how do I know? because all my bones are vexed within me, and my soul is very much Psal. 60. troubled for my sins. Behold now, I lay all mine iniquities before thy sight, O my God, Psal. 40. that thou mayest cure & heal my soul, because it hath sinned against thee. For as thou Psal. 5. art a God, that desirest not iniquity: so wilt thou not the death of a sinner, but rather Ezec. 18. that he should be converted, and live. For the dead shall not praise thee, O Lord, but we Psal. 105. that live, do bless the Lord, and confess unto him: for he is good, and his mercy is everlasting. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, etc. PSALM. V I Have revealed my miseries unto thee, O Lord, not to make known my ways unto thee, that didst know them all from the beginning, and hast numbered all my steps: for job 31. thou knowest the hidden places of darkness, and all things Psal. 43. are naked and open to thine eyes, and thou dost not only see, but also discern the lurking Hebr. 4. places of our thoughts, and the marrow of our affections: but I uncover that thou maiestcover, and protect, I reveal that thou mayest hide, and know in me an humble and contrite spirit, and by the Psal. 50. offering of this sacrifice, which is most acceptable unto thee: be merciful unto me, and forgive Luke 18. my sins: I have spoken many and great things, and yet have said little: for the worm of my conscience doth Barnard. prick me in more, I would to God it might gnaw away the rottenness, that by gnawing it might consume it, and withal be itself consumed: and that it begin not to be cherished in immortality, but let it bite, that it may die, and by little and little by biting leave biting. But woe unto me, for when I think I have made an end of telling my evils, then am I constrained to begin again as it were, and my memory being full of uncleanness, doth more abundantly remember much more filthiness: for I have sinned above the number of the sands of the sea: and if I had a hundred tongues, & a hundred mouths, I shall scarce answer one of a thousand thousand: yet that increaseth my grief, that I can not remember all my filthiness past, and the fleshly corruptions of my soul: for while I commit new sins, I forget the old, but those that I remember, I will not hide, not that I will love them any more, but that I may love thee most earnestly, O my God: and that I remembering my most wicked ways in the bitterness of my remembrance, thou mayest S. Augu. be sweet unto me, O sweetness that art not deceivable, O amiable sweetness, O happy and secure sweetness, than envy was familiar unto me, and charity was estranged from me, I slandered Kings & Princes, and the Ministers of the Church, and did bite them with a lying murmuring, I did disgrace the deserts and praises of the just, and allowed the doings of the wicked: if at any time there were a commendable Fra. Petrarch. speech concerning good men, I objected false spots, and did discover their secret infirmities, & for most light things did accuse them to others, as guilty of a greater crime. Again, if there were any infamy of the wicked, I did by and by set forward their slender virtues, and preferred them in desert before their betters, and so was cause of their greater ruin. If I saw a thief, I did Psal. 44. run with him, and to fulfil mine iniquity, I raised offence against my mother's son, & spared not to slander and deceive my kinsfolk. I wished to my neighbour's sorrow and ill hap, and in his death only did I set my hope. I did not defend the cause of the innocent, & did upbraid the guilty as if I rejoiced at their torments: I rashly judged many guilty of faults, and seeing a little moat in my brother's eye, I did not feel a great beam Luke 6. in my owneeie: I loved slothfulness as my mother, & idleness was as my brother, and I did avoid all honest exercise and labour: I waxed heavy from day to day, and did not give God thanks for his daily benefits bestowed upon me: and thou, O Lord knowest how seldom I did by night meditate upon thy law, and thy wonderful works: I often spent the whole night without sleep, and when my mind did wander from thee hither and thither to many things, thou didst never meet with it. I went to bed without thee, I lay in my bed without thee, I rose from my bed without thee, without thee the day shined upon me, & passed wholly away without thee, and therefore was I always without thee, because I was always with myself, who in my dark affections am far from thee: yet if at any time thou camest into my mind, and that I did begin to consider thy marvelous works, suddenly the burden of the world (as in sleep is usual) did sweetly press me down, and my thoughts wherewith I did meditate on thee, were like the endeavours of those that would wake, and yet conquered with the depth of sleepiness, are drowned again. I often purposed to determine of the affairs of my conscience, but the present day doth always delude me with the expectation of that which is to come. I rested unto a brittle and deceitful foundation, and leaned upon a broken reed, & when as trusting thereto, I thought I stood sure, I fell into the fire, and when I S. Augu. fell, I knew how weakly I had stood. I gaped with an unquenchable thirst after honour and gain, and in these desires I suffered most cruel difficulties. Every disordered & undisciplined man was my friend, and I defiled the vein of friendship with the filth of concupiscence, and obscured the whiteness thereof with hellish lust. Tragical spectacles full of the shows of my miseries, and the food of my fire did draw me: and I did not only not shut the passages against death, but opened also S. Barnar. the windows unto it, and all my members were several windows through the which death entered into my soul. And so new filthiness growing on, I have not purged the old: nay rather from thence did spring in me many sins, for which I am cast out from before thy face, O my God, & being deprived of the comfort of thy presence, I fall almost into desperation, knowing not whither I go: but departing from thee, whither shall I go? and who will look upon my face, if thou turn thine away from me? and as a reprobate deprive me of thy sight? I shall undoubtedly become hateful unto all men, and as a wanderer and runagate in the land, I shallbe made a shame & scorn unto them, when they shall ask of me, where is thy God? and wherefore Psal. 73. hath he put thee from him? what shall I do therefore, O wretched man that I am, when I see myself estranged from thy protection, and forsaken in the midst of mine enemies that fight mightily against me? I will seek thy face, O Lord, and with sighs beseech thy countenance not to leave me, nor in anger to departed from thy servant: for all mine enemies follow me as a fugitive, that they may take & kill me, and therefore I must seek refuge at thy hands, to whom I do fly, O my God, my strength, my refuge, and my virtue, in the day of my tribulation: for as there is no Esai. 45. God beside thee, so also there is no Saviour besides thee. Thou therefore, O Lord, that knowest all my miseries, and Psal. 102 from whom the work of my weakness is not hidden: cast behind thy back all mine offences, Psal. 7●. and do not remember my old iniquities, but save me Psal. 50. according to thy mercy, from all those that persecute me, and deliver me, because there is none that can redeem nor save, but thou, O Lord, who savest all that trust in thee, and Psal. 71. deliverest the poor from the mighty, and from the hands of them that are stronger than he: hide not therefore thy face from me, O Lord, neither despise me, my saving God, my strength, and my deliverer: for Psal. 85. Psal. 10. I am poor and very needy, and thine eyes look upon the poor, and if thy justice seek me, hide me in the bosom of thy mercy, wherein thou hast with long suffering borne me, and invited me to repentance: for thou art long suffering, patiented, Psal. 102. and very merciful, and excellent above all wickedness: joel 2. yea nothing is more proper unto thee, then to spare and have mercy always: and therefore thou hast mercy on all, because thou canst do all, and dissemblest the sins of men for repentance, and thou Sapi. 11. sparest all, because they are thine, O Lord, who lovest souls. Turn therefore unto me, who am turned unto thee, & deliver mine afflicted soul from all danger, that my mouth may be filled with thy praise, and say unto thee: Blessed be Psal. 123. the Lord who hath not suffered me to be delivered unto the teeth of mine adversaries: Except the Lord had been my helper, they had perhaps swallowed me quick: my soul as a sparrow was delivered from the snare of the fowlers, the snare is broken, and I am delivered. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, etc. PSALM. VI O Wretched man that I am, what shall I do? for the great wild beast hath devoured my soul, and I have been made a pray to the enemy, he hath spoiled me of all those goods wherewith thou, O Lord, hadst beautified me, and I am afraid to appear naked before thee: I departed rich and beautiful from thy Esai. 37. jerem. 11 Osee. 5. face, and went wandering after filthiness in a corrupt way, and in the wickedness of my heart: and my soul is made black upon the coals, and the excellent colour thereof is Thren. 4. changed, and I that was nourished with spices, have embraced dung, and I have so impoverished and deformed myself by wearing the vile garments of sinners, according to the likeness of Adam's offence, as thou, O Lord dost not now know me, according to the image wherein thou hast created me: and wilt not suffer me as a scabbed sheep, to dwell among the sheep of thy pasture. How then shall I presume to return unto the presence of thine infinite Majesty, (in whose sight job 15. the Heavens are not clean) being empty, vile and unclean? or how shall I presume to communicate with thy chosen people, being made foolish by offending. I would havereturned unto thee though ashamed and afraid, trusting to thy mercy: for thou art a sweet father to thy son that is travailing into a far country; but much sweeter unto him when he returneth from a long pilgrimage: But, O my God, I lack the power to come unto thee: for I am kept fast bound by a most cruel robber, not with strong iron, but with the iron of mine own will, whereof the enemy hath made a chain for me, and bringeth my heart in hard works and all wicked Exod. 1. slavery to bitterness. My refuge Psal. 118 is far from me: for salvation is far from sinners, and I am compelled to die in most miserable bondage, unless thou, O Lord, looking down from Heaven, dost help me: I stick fast in the slimy clay of the deep, and a tempest of temptations, even like the waves of the cruel sea, hath over whelmed and crowned me so that I am in despair of avoiding these imminent dangers, unless thou, O God, shalt take me up: for the more I endeavour to arise, the more am I bruised: I am both within and without troublesome unto myself, & every where I find domestical enemies, that do beat me down: I look on the right hand and the left, and I see none to whom I may safely commit myself: but every where fear doth shake me, and to whom so ever I come, I find not a faithful friend, & how should I find any, that myself do not keep my faith given to my God? I have sought any to comfort me in my afflictions and calamities, and there was none of all my dear Thren. 1. friends that would comfort me: but I met with men that were too full of words, nay dumb rather, and therefore dumb, because thy word, O my God, did not sound from their lips, but the offence of Psal. 58. their mouth, the words of their own lips, who did condemn my wants without compassion, and triumphing over me, did hardly and fiercely provoke strife against me. I have often consented unto Prou. 18. foolish deceivers, and swerving from the right path, I ignorantly agreed to their opinion, and by little and little was by them brought to such toys and madness, as (though by the help of thy grace, I never departed from the true religion) yet I did believe many fables: yet am I an unexcusable man, for that (when I did know thee to be always a God in truth, I did not worship Rom. 1. thee in spirit and truth:) but changed thy truth into lies, and served the creatures rather than the Creator, and sought myself and my pleasures in corruptible things: but thou, O Lord, my sweetness, and my trust, proceed on, and as thou hast made me by true faith to acknowledge thee, waken me up that sleep in Psal. 12. sin, and open mine eyes, that I never sleep unto death: Lighten, kindle & lift them up Psal. 83. unto thee, that in thy light they may behold thee, the everlasting light, the unquenchable light, that never faileth, the Eccle. 24. sweet and delightful light, that they may see and rejoice Sapi. 4. and covet thy light, and know Eccle. 11. Psal. 68 that nothing is to be loved beside thee, but in and for thee. john 1. Thou, O Lord, which art the true light, that dost illuminate all men coming into this world: cause this light to rise in my darkness, and make me to desire thy justification, that my soul being melted away by the force of love, may faint into thy saving health, Psal. 188. and thirst after thy delights: my soul, I say, but let me call it thine, because thou didst make it, and give it unto me, and mine, because I received it from thee: keep therefore thy creature, which thou hast specially framed according to thine own image, and suffer not thy precious gift to perish, wherein thou hast lifted me up above all the works of thine own hands: upon my body and members, work whatsoever pleaseth thee, let my flesh be clothed with rottenness, job 33. and consumed with worms: But I beseech thee, O Lord, only spare my soul, and stretch not out thy hand against it, bring me back again into thy ways, before the going down of the Sun: for it groweth toward Evening, and compel me to come unto thee, if to call be too little, constrain me as it pleaseth thee: so I may come and not perish, not for myself, who having so often abused thy mercy, have made myself unworthy thereof: but for thy holy Name, take from me a stony heart, and give unto Exec. 36. me a fleshy heart, and place thy Spirit in the midst of me, that I may walk in thy precepts, & keep thy judgements: I come too late unto thee, O Lord, I confess, I would to God I had come sooner: but I know and am assured, that thou prescribest no time to them that come, so they come, and receivest the last as gently as the first: for that although thou hatest Sapi. 1. sin, thou hatest not the sinner, neither dost thou rejoice in his destruction: and therefore, though he tarry very long, thou dost patiently look for him: O how sweet and pleasant is that thy saying, O Lord? wherein thou hast given hope unto my Psal. 118. Hiere. 3. soul? Thou hast played the harlot with many lovers, yet return thou unto me, & I will receive thee. How delightful and pleasant is that word, wherewith thou comfortest sinners that are in despair of themselves? If a sinner repent Ezec. 18. him from all his sins, he shall live and not die: for is the death of a sinner according to my will? With great joy I hear thee when thou sayest, that the sheep that Luke 15. had gone astray, shall be brought home with joy upon the shepherds shoulders, and S. Augu. that the groat shall be laid up in thy treasures, neighbours rejoicing with the woman that found it: and the joy of the solemnity of that house doth force tears from me, when I did read of the younger son, that he was dead, and lived again. Therefore Psal. 67. give, O Lord, unto my soul, the voice of thy virtue, and not of thy virtue alone, which shaketh off the sloth of souls, but also the beam of thy light, which doth both show unto men their sins, and giveth light also to the hidden places of darkness. Cant. 2. Let thy voice sound in the ears of mine heart, and say unto my sleeping soul, why art thou so long oppressed with a deadly sleep, and kept captive in bands? It is now Rom. 13. Esai 55. Cant. 6. time to rise from sleep, and that thou forsake thy way, and return to me that have redeemed thee: return, O Esai. 44. thou Sunamite, return that we may behold thee: return, and defer no longer to come unto me, for I am the Lord thy God that call thee, I am, I am he, that blot out thine iniquities Esai. 43. for myself, neither carry in remembrance things past: then will I say boldly to my soul, turn thee to thy Psal. 144 rest, for the Lord hath done well unto thee: go safely unto him, and though thou art wearied by thy wicked ways, go the swifter, that thou mayest the sooner take rest: be not made afraid for thy sins, for if they be as red as scarlet, Esai 1. & 44. they shallbe made as white as snow, as a cloud they shall be put away, and fear not to be accused of boldness, where thou art praised for obedience. Go and make haste my soul unto him, that came not to call the righteous, but sinners, and Matth. 8. if thou art a sinner, thy God is the God of sinners. Wherefore then dost thou fear to go, thou that art not called by a cruel judge, but by the father of mercies, that thou mayest obtain mercy: therefore go now willing being called to mercy, that thou be not compelled hereafter to go unto judgement. In thee, O Lord, my noble Father do I trust, and will not be ashamed to confess unto thee my deformities, S. August and blasphemies, who was not ashamed to profess them before men, and to bark against thee. Let the Mark 2. Pharise murmur & say, who can forgive sins but God alone? for it is God that speaketh unto me, whose word is lively and effectual, he that Psal. 76. calleth me is mild and pitiful, and is not wont to contain his mercies in his wrath: And therefore upon thy words will I assuredly come unto thee, O my God, my trust, and my portion in the land of the living. I will come and fall down before thee, and not fear thy Majesty, because thou callest me, and that I offend not thine eyes when I shall appear unclean in thy sight. I will wash away my filthiness with continual tears, and mine eye lid shall not rest from weeping, but my bed shall be privy unto my sorrow, wherein I please thee, though I displease myself: and being by thee converted unto thee, I repent me of those things I have committed, that I may praise thee with a clean Psal. 88 heart, saying, O Lord, who is like unto thee? for than is thy Eccl. 15. Psal. 125. praise bountiful in the mouth of a sinner, and he that hath sowed in tears, shall reap in gladness. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, etc. PSALM. VII. Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble, and vexed with unspeakable miseries: for floods of iniquity do vex me, & the waters Psal. 58. have entered even into my soul as a river that is overflown, so my sins which I have hitherunto dissembled, and neglected to confess, or amend, are grown so high that they have passed over my head, and Psal. 37. bowed my mind and will, to the concupiscence of sensual desires: yea, made me subject to the slavery of the devil. woe unto me, for I am altogether mortally wounded, & there is no health in me from the sole of the foot, to the crown of my head: for mine enemy hath supplanted me, and as a most cruel tyrant tormenting me, hath deprived me of all my senses, leaving only my understanding, that by joining the knowledge of my hurt and loss, he might also increase my sorrow. He should little hurt, if he had deprived me altogether of all use of my senses, and had made me utterly senseless in all my actions, but he hath deprived me thereof for doing that which is good, and hath violently enforced me to evil: and hath so infected my mind, which is altogether bend to outward things, with a certain astonishment of inward senselessness, that she cannot feel her 1. Tim. 4. inward hurts: for when I should have heard, I was deaf, and turned mine ear from the truth: but when it had been fit for me to stop mine ears, from hearing unprofitable things, and the toys of many men, I was swift to hear, and a gentle hearer. Heavenly things I tasted unsavourly, & my soul loathed all spiritual meat, but I judged earthly things sweeter than the honey & the honey comb. Psal. 100 I was blind, and an earthly man in beholding those things that were Gods: but worldly things I looked upon with a proud eye, and desired them with an unsatiable heart: Neither in my senses alone, but in my members also which God gave to me for the service of my soul, did mine ancient enemy shut up from me the way of salvation: and prepared such ambushes against me in this cruel siege, as I was never able to avoid them: but so often as I tried to fly away, I fell into his hands. For I did offend both by seeing, and refusing to see, by hearing, and by being deaf, speaking, and holding my peace, standing, and sitting, sleeping, and waking, walking, and resting: to conclude, I changed all the peculiar and common use of my senses and members into a filthy abuse, burning in my unclean desires, so that I have transgressed all the laws, both of God, man, and nature, and have lived diligent in observing only the law of sin. I would to God I only had been so, and now were not: but alas, because I am yet the same that before I was, and nothing changed from that, I followed the worst: for my sick will doth yet bear rule, and my most foul & stinking soul, that is filled every where with horrible sores, that proceed only from itself, doth still persevere in the old evils. I am often angry with myself, because I am weary to live, when I am not weary to sin: I know my folly, and am confounded, & being confounded, reprove myself saying, O carnal lover, why dost thou so long wallow in the mire of thy concupiscence? why art thou so carefully busy for earthly things? and dost so earnestly desire those goods which shall perish? or with what reason callest thou goods, those things thou gainest with so much labour, and the great hurt of thy soul, and being gained, possessest in fear, and being possessed, losest with grief? O my soul, why dost thou forget thine own proper estate, and nobility, and art not ashamed to endure a miserable and shameful bondage, under the corruption of thy corporal senses? why art thou deceived with the unfaithful promises of the world? & markest not that the chief good thereof, is a vapour that appeareth but a little season, and a vanity of vanities? Blush, and be ashamed, O miserable sinner, how often hast thou departed from thy Creator, and turned to deceitful creatures? and coming again to thyself, behold with any sight of thy mind, how cruelly in respect S. Bernar. of a miserable hunting thy soul hath bowelled herself, whilst with an immoderate desire, catching at a vile pray of flies, she hath like the spider made nets for herself of her own bowels. Again and Rom. 6. again I say, Blush at that wherein thou hast had no fruit, and lament thy lost time, that blushing, may bring Prou. 23. thee fruit: Yield thy heart unto God, and thou shalt pay that thou owest. With these speeches I rage against my self, when being inwardly admonished, I enter into myself, and consider with my heart what I have lost, and what I have found: but I do Rom. 7. not that good which I like, but the evil that I will, that I do: for mine enemy holdeth my will, and doth keep me being fashioned according to the former desires of mine ignorance captive under the law Rom. 8. of sin: But thou, O Lord God of virtues, the tower of my strength, and the ruler of my life, do not withdraw thy help from me, look unto my defence, and protect me Psal. 25 under the shadow of thy wings, lest I fall in the sight of mine adversaries, and mine enemy rejoicing against me say, I have prevailed against him: Break the bands of my reproach, under which I have been made crooked, and lose the cords of my sins, wherewith I am strongly bound, O most mighty Lord, and make known thy power unto mine enemies, that I may offer unto thee a sacrifice of gladness, saying: Who shall Psal. 105 speak the power of the Lord, or who shall declare all his praises? that delivered my soul from death, my feet from sliding? who hath saved me from the lions mouth, and my lowliness from the horns of Unicorns. To whom should Psal. 21. I cry, but to thee, upon whom all our fathers have called, and have been saved? to thee, I say, who never deceivest them that hope in thee, set me therefore near thee, and let any man's hand sight against me: for I will fear no evil, because thou art with me. All my desires are before thee, blot out and put away whatsoever is strange from thee: renew, create and confirm whatsoever thou hast given me, that casting away all carnal and unprofitable desires, the sinner may be praised, in the desire Psal. 9 of his heart, and coveting to enjoy thee the only Psal. 118. true pleasure, my request may come before thy face, and I may confidently say unto thee: Psal. 20. grant unto him, O my God, the desire of my soul: for I know and am assured, that job 6. no man can desire thee but by thyself, nor come unto thee, unless thou draw him: Draw me therefore, O Lord, and grant unto me, that I may begin in a good desire, that I may end and perfit it in a good work, before my old custom oppress my new desire, & my former will strengthened by age, conquer my new will: lest when right things please me, I return to my old wont. Cloth me with the precious garments of thy salvation and thy beauty, and put off from me the vile clothes of my widdowhead, wherein Ephes. 4. being deprived of thee, I walk according to the ancient conversation of the old man: & do not any more remember the shame of my widdowhead, that being newly clothed in Esai. 54. thee, & become a new man, I may with a new spirit serve thee in newness of life, and in the sweet smell of thine ointments running unto thee, I may Abac. 1. rejoice in jesus my Saviour. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, etc. The end of the Psalms. ¶ A thanksgiving of a contrite Sinner, obtaining pardon from God of his sins. I Render unto thee infinite thanks, O most gracious and merciful God, for that remembering my so many sins, I fear not for them, nor am ashamed to confess mine iniquities against thee, to thee: that I may confess unto thy Name, thy mercy towards me. For thou hast had mercy upon earth and ashes, and it hath pleased thee to reform in thy sight, all my deformities, and to keep me from many waters, lest the depth should swallow me up. I was going the right way unto hell, carrying all my sins that I had committed with me, unless thou, O Lord my God, and my guider, didst bring me, that was going down headlong, back unto thee, who art the way, the truth, and the life: and didst enlighten john 14. my cloudy mind, with the brightness of thy light, that seeing myself in the land of forgetfulness, and the country of unlikeliness, I might call unto thee out of the deeps of my ignorance, and know that thou art God my Saviour and deliverer, that hast drawn me from my most wicked ways, and put goads unto me, that I might therewith be pulled away. What shall I therefore render unto thee, my beauty, my sweetness, my part, God for evermore, for the marvelous ways that thou hast used, to correct and direct my ways into the way of salvation? I was carried away into vanities, forgetting thee, O my God, and made my ways far from thee, when thou moved with mercy over me, didst call back my filthy life, from the dirt of earthly pleasure, and didst restrain my untamed Psal. 31. mind, with the bit and bridle of calamities and labours, that I might come near unto thee. 2. Cor. 1. I will therefore willingly glory in mine afflictions and infirmities, that thy grace may dwell in me, to whom I am a debtor, for that thou hast forgiven me so many evils, and hast dissolved my sins like ise. And for my sorrows, as for thy gifts & benefits (whereby my soul hath been saved) yielding thanks unto thee, I Osee 14. Psal. 102. will offer up the calves of my lips, saying: Bless the Lord, O Psal. 102. my soul, and do not forget all his benefits, which is merciful unto all thine iniquities, and healeth all thine infirmities, who hath redeemed thy life from death, and crowneth thee in pity and mercy, and filleth in good things thy desire. Behold how the comforts of thy mercies, wherein thou hast lightened me, O my God, have taken me, that I might embrace thee, above all seducements that I followed: therefore I pray thee, my glory, the height of my humility, and rest of my labour, do not faint in helping me, that I also may not faint, in confessing unto thee thy mercies. But graciously accept the sacrifice of my confessions, from the hand of my mouth, and grant unto me the spirit of fear, that my soul conceiving from thy promises, may henceforth be cherished with heavenly things, and bring forth the spirit of salvation. Protect me under the shadow of thy hands, Esai 49. Prou. 5. and cherish me in the bosom of thy mercies, lest they that pass in the way, tread upon the unfeathered fowl: But S. Augu. send thine angel, that may put him again into the nest, that he may live until he may fly, and continually cleave unto thee, with daily prayers knock unto thee, possess thee in himself, that thou mayest be unto him all in all. As the young swallows or doves, mourning Esai. 38. do call for meat unto their mother: so I, mourning & weeping in this valley of tears, do cry unto thee, my God, & my helper in time of need, that thou deliver me from all temptation, even to the end, and nourish me yet as a sucking child, that having received the strength of thy virtue, as Phil. 3. long as I shall run in the course of this world, forgetting that which is behind, & earnestly bending myself to that which is before, with thy company & protection, I may go on to the appointed place, to the reward of the heavenly vocation, in Christ jesus our Lord, who liveth & reigneth with thee, in the unity of the holy spirit, God world without end. Amen. FINIS. EPITAPHIUM D. ANTONII Lusitaniae Regis Serenissimi. PAreatibi vitam rapuit, diadema Philippus, Et simul Oceasus ac Orientis opes, Plus tibi restituit pietas tua, reddidit atque Quicquid habet tellus, sidera quicquid habent. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. EIUSDEM REGIS LUSITAN. PROSOPOPEIA. PORTUG ALLORUM Regi mihi Gallia portus una fuit, mihi Rex hic Deus, ille lupus. Me patrio Regni solio fraudarat Iberus: Electum HENRICUS Rex putate fovet. Quaqueregit virtute pari Regina Britannos, Lutore suscepit me ELISABETH A sue. Grand ewm tandem me Rex Coelsque solique, In sedem mistrans transtulit aetheream. Faults escaped. Page 1. line 15. have, read not have. P. 5. l. 8. know, read knew. P. 8. l. 24. self, read life. P. 12. l. 17. in sins, read in my sins. P. 13. l. 1. a fool, read as a fool. P. 13. l. 11. haling, read hating. and l. 14. wilfulness, read wilfulness to sin. P. 13. l. 22. brought, read bought. P. 19 l. 14. girfes, read gifts. and l. 19 I feigned, read unrecoverably I feigned. P. 25. l. 9 read nation, I am thy salvation. P. 41. l. 12. strong, read strange. P. 52. l. 12. bountiful, read beautiful. P. 56. l. 7. lived, read been.