Drunkard's Dial: or, 〈…〉 ood Sir, Your Nose is dirty.  
Being a merry jest most finely conveyed,  
Between an old Lad, and a witty young Maid.  
To the tune of Riding to Rumford.  
 

THere was a lusty Lad  
In London dwelling,  
That would a wooing go,  
where drink was selling:  
Where a Lass lustily,  
kept this lad company.  
Till the Pots quality.  
made his nose dirty.   

Tossing up Cup and Can.  
one after other,  
He could no longer then,  
his fancy smother.  
But gave unto his Lass  
a draft that welcome was,  
How comes it (Sir) to pass,  
your nose is dirty.   

Quoth he, in courtesy  
I must be doing,  
Give us another Pot,  
of the last Brewing.  
Here my love, here's to thee,  
soft a while, sir quoth she,  
For me thinks now I see  
your nose is dirty.   

With that this lusty Lad,  
bravely 'gan swagger,  
Vowing to lay to pawn,  
his Dudgeon dagger,  
Fill us full half a score  
of Cans, or somewhat more,  
You'll not away before  
your nose is dirty.   

Thus the Wench flouted him  
as he was drinking,  
Which he for favours took,  
to his own thinking.  
Thus away Ale and Bear,  
went by this couple here,  
And she said still, my dear,  
your nose is dirty.   

Having now drunk his fill,  
out he went reeling,  
With a wild running braives  
void of all feeling,  
With his beloved sweet  
by his side in the street,  
Where all that did them meet,  
saw his nose dirty.   

Being thus led along  
all did deride him,  
Till one among the rest,  
sound did chide him,  
And had him home to wend  
and not his time to spend  
For now I see, my friend  
your nose is dirty.   

How comes it now to pass,  
you are so mired,  
A pot of Ale quoth he  
hath my brains fired.  
Then said the other now  
I see below your brow,  
Although you know not how,  
your nose is dirty.   
FINIS.   

The second Part. to the 〈…〉  
 

THen the Lass led him home  
to her own dwelling,  
Where is behapt a jest  
well worth the telling,  
There with his dirty nose  
much he did wrong his close,  
And one might then suppose  
his nose was dirty.   

She brought him strong waters then,  
fit for his drinking,  
With some Tobacco, which  
made him so stinking.  
That none durst come him nigh,  
if your ask reason why,  
You know as well as I,  
his nose was dirty.   

Falling then to the ground,  
came his beloved,  
Where a plain dealing friend  
she herself proved.  
Seeing him in that place  
in a most drunken case,  
Staring him in the face,  
saw his nose dirty.   

And for acquaintance sake  
took him up friendly,  
Bearing him to a bed,  
neat, fine, and cleanly,  
And laid him down to sleep,  
who could not go nor creep  
For he had drunk so deep,  
his nose was dirty.   

Next day when he arose  
he looked about him,  
Perceiving how his Lass,  
finely did flout him,  
He asked the reason why  
she told him presently,  
Then he found by and by,  
his nose was dirty.   

Being sorry for his fault,  
thus he protested,  
That his brains never more  
should be molested,  
Thanking his loving friend,  
that she did succour lend,  
And said he would amend,  
his nose from dirting.   

Parting thus soberly  
went he on trudging,  
But missed his purse, when he  
came to his lodging.  
(Quoth he) to dear a shot  
have I paid for my lot,  
Say my friends, have I not,  
with a nose dirty.   

All men that love good Ale,  
and other Liquer,  
Nothing in nimble brains  
can be more quicker:  
It will steal cunningly  
in your pates by and by,  
And will make shamefully,  
all your nose dirty.   
FINIS.   

Printed at London for Phil. birch.