The Ladies calling THE LADIES CALLING. IN TWO PARTS. By the Author of the whole Duty of Man, The Causes of the Decay of Christian Piety, and The Gentleman's Calling. Favor is deceitful, and Beauty is vain: but a Woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Prov. 31. 33. OXFORD, Printed at the THEATER. M. DC. LXXIII. The Editor to the Reader. IT is a popular reproach usually cast upon writers in morality, and persuaders to devotion, that while they with pompous words represent virtue as a sufficient reward to ●…er self, and exhort to the contemt of Glory; they prefix their names to their labours, and make the Title-page a confutation of the Book that follows it. Our Author has effectually averted this objection, having been so far from seeking a name from others, as not to have left a possibility for the discovery of his own: but like the river Nilus that gives fertility and blessing wheresoever he passes, hides his head; and permits himself to be only known in the benefits which he dispenses. By what methods the other most useful works of this excellent Author have st●…ln themselves into the world, I am not enabled to relate; but having been made a party to the publication of this present, it may be expected that I render some account thereof. For although the curiosity of enquiring into that which is industriously concealed, be such a rudeness, and injustice also, as by no means deserves to be encouraged; yet where a benefit has been received, for those who are obliged, to desire to acquaint themselves with the Person unto whom they stand indebted, that they may pay a respect at least, if they can reach at no more equal retribution; this has such a pretence to gratitude, as may justly demand to be considered. And it will be some satisfaction to the ingenuous enquirer, that though he have not informed himself in the particulars which he desires, he has not been deficient in the inquest, & knows as much as is possible. The Reader therefore may please to understand, that somewhat more than two months since, I received a Letter, accompanied with a roll of Papers; opening the which, I found it was written by a hand which I was utterly a stranger to, and that had no name subscribed; the purport thereof was as follows. SIR, THe general report of your candour persuades me you will not reject an address, though from an unknown hand, which encourages me to the sending these Papers to you, with a desire you would please to peruse them, and commit them either to the Press, or the Fire as you find them worthy. I shall not need to tell you who I am, for if my suit be accepted, I have what I desire without it if it b●… not, 'tis my interest you should not know who 'tis that has thus importuned you. Your Charity I assure myself will at a venture pardon, SIR, Your humble Servant. 'Twill be superfluous to say how much I was surprised with this so unusual address, how much affected with the singular modesty and humility which it ex●…rest: and after all how much transported upon viewing the Treasure, which was thus ●…s from the Clouds dropped into my hands▪ Nor was I long to determine which of the two ways of disposal proposed unto me, was to be made use of: and indeed I should much so●…ner have performed my trust, and taken care that this excellent Tract ●…ad immediately seen the light, had it not been needful to transcribe the whole, before it could safely be committed to the Press. This I mention not only to excuse the delay of the Edition, but more especially to beg a pardon for the misadventu●…es of it. It being not easy in a written Copy where a recourse is not to be had unto the Author, to do him justice; and avoid faileurs and mistakes: which in the present instance was the more hazardous, in that every departure from the Author's i●…itable pattern, would certainly be for the worse. But Excuse and compliment are any where a very insipid foolish thing, and most intolerable in a serious concern: I shall not therefore say aught that looks that way; only offer a short request▪ which I suppose will be equally inthe behalf of the▪ Author of this Tract▪ the Editor▪ and the Readers of it, Which is, that whoever takes this book in hand would seriously consider it; and doing so, receive the infinite benefits of uniform virtue, and sincere pie●…y; the documents whereof, are herewith all possible advantages proposed: and thereby give the Author, that greatest of blessings, the being an instrument to the eternal happiness of souls: and as to us who deal in the affair of Printing▪ afford some share in this most desirable event▪ absolving us from the Charge of having done mischief, instead of service to the world. For, to say the truth, no book is so fatally destructive as that which convinces of duty▪ but fails of persuading to it. And if the best books can do harm, 'twill certainly be difficult to make a plea for the mul●…tudes of a contrary kind▪ which now especially 〈◊〉 upon the Age▪ THE PREFACE Tho' the smallness of this Tract will scarce justify the solemnity of a Preface; yet remembering 'tis designed for those who are accustomed to Ceremonious Addresses, I think it not best to approach them too abruptly. And indeed besides the Civility, there seems some use of it in order to my design. To advise, or reprove, is so ungrateful an Office, that he that undertakes it, had neee●… use all previous arts to vindicate the sincerity of his purpose, and to convince the person admonished, that 'tis neither spleen no●… prejudice, but the mo●…t real exuberant kindness which promts him to inflict those wounds of a friend, Prov. 27. 6. and that he is never less an enemy, then when he thus tells them the truth, Gal. 4. 16: Therefore, though they may in the ensuing leaves meet with some things which may have a show of severity, yet let me assure my Reader, they have indeed a design of the greatest service, by correcting the extravagance of some, to rescu the whole Sex, as from the contagion of the example, so from the community of the blame. For such is either the inadvertence, or malice of a great part of mankind, that (against all Rules of Discourse) they deduce Generals from Particulars, make every woman so far an Eve, that her depravation shall forfeit her whole kind; and because there are foolish and scandalous women, will scarce allow there are any other. The truth is, the Error seems in many men to be affected; they propose to themselves unworthy ends on women, and make all their observations wholly in order to those. He that is upon a base pursuit, takes particular notice of all that he thinks for his turn; the rest fall not within his Sphere: and 'tis too probable he is so abundantly supplied for that absolute consideration, that he never descends to the comparative. Nay, perhaps there may be a yet deeper original of the scandal: the world is much governed by estimation; and as applause encourages & exalts, so a universal contemt debases & dejects the Spirit. If it can once pass into a Maxim, that women are such silly or vicious creatures, it may put fair for the making them so indeed. Themselves may imbibe the common opinion, charge all their personal faults on their Sex, thinkthat they do but their kind, when indeed they most contradict it, and no more aspire to any thing worthy, than a man can pretend to the excellencies of an Angel. And indeed this seems to be the practical inference of some women, who could hardly have descended to such dishonours, had they not before been as vile in their own eyes, as they have afterwards rendered themselves in others. It may therefore upon this account be a necessary Charity to the Sex, to acquaint them with their own valu, animate them to some higher thoughts of themselves; not to yield their suffrage to those injurious estimates the World hath made of them, and from a supposed incapacity of nobler things to neglect the pursuit of them; from which God and Nature have no more precluded the Feminine, than the Masculine part of mankind. In reference to secular Considerations, their advantages are most important; Women have a very powerful Influence upon all sorts of Transactions in the World: the engaging of the Delilah, and ploughing with the Heifer, Judg: 14. & 16. being ever the surest way to undermine the Counsels, and master the force of the Stoutest Samson. And accordingly, Hictories of all kinds assure us, that Gyneceum has still had a Rival suffrage with the Senate. I might urge the more regular Powers which appertain unto that Sex; that all mankind is the Pupil and Disciple of Female Institution: the Daughters till they write women, and the Sons till the first seven years be past; the time when the mind is most ductile, and prepared to receive impression, being wholly in the Care and Conduct of the Mother. And whereas ' is observed by Aristotle in his Politics, (and is a proof of his being as wise, as he was a learned man) that the Estate of Republics entirely hangs on private families, the little Monarchies both composing & giving law unto the great; 'tis evident that the disposal of Families and all Domestic concerns therein lies chiefly on the Wife; whence the same Aristotle declares, that the Spartans' notwithstanding their ready address to Empire by their great frugality, industry, and military virtue, could have but half a happiness, as failing on the part of their Wives. But waving these reflections I shall fix only on the personal accomplishments of the Sex, and peculiarly that which is the most principal endowment of the rational nature, I mean their understanding. Where▪ first it will be a little hard to pronounce, that they are naturally inferior to men; when 'tis considered how much of extrinsic weight is put in the balance to turn it on the men's side. Men have their parts cultivated and improved by Education, refined and subtilised by Learning and Arts, are like an enclosed piece of a Common, which by industry and husbandry becomes a different thing from the rest, though the natural turf owned no such inequality. And truly had women the same advantage, I dare not say but they would make as good returns of it; some of those few that have been tried, have been eminent in several parts of Learning. To omit the modern instances, Theano after the death of Pythagoras kept up his School; Socrates confesses himself to have been instructed not only in Rhetoric by Aspasia, but even in the highest Points of Philosophy by Diotime: the Roman Story enforms us of the deep wisdom of Tanaquil, Cornelia, Livia, to pass by others. And were we sure they would have ballast to their sails, have humility enough to poise them against the vanity of Learning, I see not why they might not more frequently be entrusted with it; for if they could be secured against this weed, doubtless the soil is rich enough to bear a good crop. But not to oppose a received opinion, let it be admitted, that in respect of their intellects they are below men; yet sure in the sublimest part of humanity, they are their equals: they have souls of as divine an Original, as endless a Duration, and as capable of infinite Beatitude. That spiritual Essence, that ray of Divinity owns no distinction of Sexes; so that in this sense also that Aphorism of the Apostle holds good; there is neither Male nor Female, but all are one, Gal. 3. 28. And sure this is the one transcendent Excellency of Human Nature. For alas, what valu can comparatively be s●…t upon all other Qualifications, which will finally-leave us but like the Beasts that perish. And this as it is the highest pitch of their worth, so it is the safest subject of their Contemplations: other Knowledge, as the Apostle speaks, 1 Cor. 8. 1. may puff-up, this only will edify. As therefore when we would pride ourselves, we use not to boast our meaner, but our best'qualities: so let me solicit Ladies to be so just to themselves, as not to take their own mesures by any thing below this. Why should they take so low a level of Greatness, as to valu themselves upon a title which is but a bigger blast of air, when they may derive their descent from above the Stars, claim cognation with Divinity? Why should they dote on the fictitious image, of a perhaps more fictitious beauty, which their glass presents them, when they need but look inward to see an infinitely fairer Idea, an emanation of the eternal Brightness? Indeed did they make a just estimate of themselves in this respect, it would overwhelm the vanity of those inferior things wherein they now have such complacency, nor would they suffer their nobler part to be affronted by the unequal competition of their meaner. But there is also another consequent which would flow from that esteem; they would solicitously preserve what they so highly prize, it being natural for us to proportion our care to our valu. They would be jealously vigilant against every thing, that might eclipse the radiancy or contaminate the purity of their souls. 'Twas the advice of a Heathen moralist, Revere thyself; and 'twas very wholesome counsel: for next our due veneration to God, a reverence to ourselves is the most severe controller of all exorbitancies. How can a soul that remembers its celestial extraction, wallow itself in the mire, sto●…p to any sordid degenerus practices? 'Tis said of Themistocles, that seeing once a rich booty about the dead corpses of his enemies, he touch●… it not, but pointing to another, said, Take thou that, for thou art not Themistocles. If then a little military fame could so elevate his thoughts, 'tis a shame that any who carry an immortal spirit about them, should not be raised above all the contemptible baits of this sublunary World. Why should they not with the like disdain turn over all sensual inordinacies to mere Animals, and creatures that have no higher principle then that of Sense, whilst themselves soar up to those more sublimated pleasures, which are at God's Right Hand for evermore, Psal. 16. 12. We may therefore conclude, that what ever vicious impotence Women are under, it is acquired, not natural; nor derived from any illiberality of God's, but from the managery of his bounty. He has placed within them a pillar of Cloud and Fire, sufficient to shelter and conduct them through all the storms, all the intricacies that can occur in their journey to Canaan; if they will forget that more intrinsic part of their being, live as if they were all body, reject the Manna, and rave after the Quails, that destruction which will thereby be induced they must own to spring from themselves. Let them not charge God foolishly, or think that by making them women, he necessitated them to be proud, or wanton, vain, or peevish; since 'tis manifest he made them to better purposes, was not partial to the other Sex, but that having, as the Prophet speaks, abundance of spirit, Mal. 2. he equally dispensed it, and gave the feeblest woman as large and capacious a soul as that of the Greatest Hero. Nay give me leave to say farther, that as to an Eternal well being, he seems to have placed them in more advantageous circumstances than he has done men. He has implanted in them some native propensions, which (as i shall hereafter have occasion to observe) do much facilitate the operations of Grace upon them. Besides, there are many temtations to which men are exposed that are out of their road. How hard is it for a man to converse in the World, but he shall be importuned to debauchery and excess, must forfeit his sobriety to maintain the reputation of a sociable Person? Again, how liable are they by a promiscuous conversation among variety of humours, to meet with affronts, which the Maxims of Honour will tell them, must (in spite of all Christ's interdicts) be revenged? And this engages them in Quarrels, sometimes in Murders. Now none of these are incident to women: they must in these and some other instances attaque temptation, violently ravish guilt, and abandon their Sex, the whole Economy of their state, ere they can divest themselves of their innocency. So that God seems in many particulars to have closelier fenced them in, and not left them to those wilder excursions, for which the customary liberties of the other Sex afford a more open way. In short, they have so many advantages towards Virtue, that though the Philosopher made it one of his solemn acknowledgements to God, that he had made him a man, and not a woman: yet I think Christian women have now reason enough to invert that form, and to thank God that he made them women, and not men. But we know advantages which are only in speculation, are looked on with some diffidence, till there have been some practical experiment made of them; I shall therefore evidence the problem by demonstration, and instance; desiring my Readers to measure the possibilities of their arriving to eminent degrees of Virtue and Piety, by what others have attained to. I shall not fetch examples of Morality from Heathen Women, because I am now upon a higher strain; (yet many such might be brought to the reproach of many Women, who pretending to more, fall infinitely short of that:) 'tis Christian Virtue that I am now recommending, and which has been eminently exemplified in many of their Sex. How ●…any Women do we read of in the Gospel, who in all the duties of assiduous attendance on Christ, liberalities of love and respect, nay even in zeal and courage, surpassed even the Apostles themselves? We find his Cross surrounded, his Passion celebrated by the avowed tears and lamentations of devout Women, when the most sanguine of his Disciples had denied, yea forswore, and all had forsaken him. Nay, even Death itself could not extinguish their love; we find the devout Maries designing a laborious, chargeable, and perhaps hazardous respect to his Corpse. And accordingly 'tis a memorable attestation Christ gives to their Piety, by making them the first Witnesses of his Resurrection, the prime Evangelists to Proclaim those glad Tidings; and as a Learned man speaks, Apostles to the Apostles. Nor is the devotion of that Sex to be found only in the sacred Records; the Primitive times have left us many Memorials of the like, and the Martyrologies are full of Female sufferers of all Ages and conditions, who by the fervour of their Zeal had overcome the timorousness of their Nature, and wearied the cruelty of their Persecutors. And as Women help to augment the number of Martyrs, so did they of Confessors also, in a stout owning, & diligent practice of Christianity. Queens and Empresses knew then no Title so Glorious as that of a nursing Mother to the Church, have often exchanged their Palaces for little Cells and Oratories, and valued not their own Diadems in comparison with their Savior's Crown of Thorns. And though by a perpetual declination from that pristine Zeal, the instances have in every Age grown less numerous, yet none has wanted some very illustrious Examples. Nay even in our dregs of time, in this common decay of all good, there are, I doubt not, many who (according to their opportunities) transcribe the former Copies, live like People that know they must live hereafter, and present us yet with some specimen of ancient Virtue. Nay, to speak an impartial Truth, 'tis not to be denied, but the reputation of Religion is more kept up by women than men; many of the one countenancing it by their Practice, whereas more of the other do not only neglect, but decry it. And now since Women are compassed about with so great a cloud of Witnesses, who by doing the thing, give the surest evidence that 'tis not unfeasible, why should any plead an impossibility? In matters of Vanity and Pomp they they are not so easily disheartened, no pattern of that kind can be ●…et which will not be industriously imitated; nay in ●…he greatest inequality of materials for it. Why ●…hen should their emulation leave them where only it could do them good? How comes it, that of those who have equal Principles of a spiritual Being, some live according to the Dignity of it; and others who see them do so, do yet live as if they assented to that Philosopher's Paradox, who said, Women had no souls; or at least were of the Pythagorean Sect, and looked upon themselves only as the Jails and Prisons of former offending Spirits, which they resolved to fit for a yet viler transmigration; give them the appetites of Beasts before they assume the Bodies? This is indeed an unlucky Humility, that those who in all other instances are apt to overween, should here sink so much below themselves. And I hope 'twill not appear an uncivil address, to persuade them to a juster estimate of their own worth. And if what has been said to that end may have any effect, I shall not desire a better Preparative to the ensuing Tract; since she that duly considers her own capacity of Eternal Bliss, and withal, the possibility of as Endless a Misery, according as she performs or neglects the several Parts of Duty, will sure need no other incentive to the diligent Pursuit of it. THE LADIES CALLING Part I Sect. I. Of Modesty. 1. IT is now many years since an Address was made to the Gentry of this Nation, to persuade them to that Virtue, which would be both their Pleasure and Reward. I cannot, I confess, boast any such Effect of that, as should much inspirit the hopes of a new Attemt; yet since we see in our proper secular Concerns, Defeats do may times animate no less than Success, I know not why in this more charitable Design I should sit down discouraged. Men usually raise not a siege upon the first repulse, but reinforce their Batteries, observe more curiously which are the most assailable accessible parts, and accordingly dispose their assault: It will then be no unreasonable imitation in the present case, if, after a successless Attemt upon the more impregnable Masculine part of the Gentry, I now essay the Feminine, whose native Softness and Gentleness may render them less apt for that resistance of good Counsel, wherein too many Men place their Gallantry. 2. I presume those to whom that little Tract was at first designed, will be so willing to relinquish their Title, that I might without imputation of robbery, exchange my Patrons, and by a new Dedication supersede the labour of a new Book. And indeed, since what was there said was founded more on the distinction of Qualities than of Sex, there would not need many razures to render it as proper for the one as the other; and I shall take so much advantage of it, as to assure the female Gentry, that they may there find much of the Duty incumbent on them, in respect of that Rank and Condition they hold in the World: and therefore, though I shall sometimes make some reflections on it; yet, as to the main, I shall think it the easiest course, as well for them as myself, to direct them thither. 3. But it may seem to have too much of the Pedant, to entertain new Scholars only with the cast or nauseated learning of the old; and when I remember I write to Ladies, who use to think the newness of any thing a considerable Addition to its valu; I conceiv myself obliged aswell in civility to their humour, as charity to their needs, to give them something which they may own as their peculiar. And to render it the more unalienable, I shall affix it to their Sex; and make it the Subject of my present inquisition, what in respect of that, are the proper and distinct Obligations, under which, by the assignment of God and Nature, they are placed. 4. That the Obligation to Moral & Christian Virtues is in itself universal, and not confined to any Sex or Person, is not to be denied: yet, as in human Constitutions there are often Precepts, which (though not exclusive of any, do yet) more peculiarly and eminently levelly at some particular rank or order of Men; so in the laws of God and Nature, there appears the like distinction. That alwise Creator, who hath put peculiar proprieties and inclinations into his Creatures, hath accordingly designed their actuating and improving them: and although in mankind, which differs nor in species but in gender, the variety may seem less; yet there is still enough to found some diversity, either in the kind or degree of duty. This sure is shadowed to us in that particular caution given to the Jews, not to confound the habit of the several Sexes, Deut. 22. 5. and yet more clearly evinced in the Precept which the Apostles address to women, 1 Tim. 2. and 1. Pet. 3. Nay, this is so granted a truth, that all Ages and Nations have made some distinction between masculine & feminine Virtues, Nature having not only given a distinction as to the beauties of their outward form, but also in their very mould and constitution implanted peculiar aptnesses and proprieties of mind, which accordingly vary the measure of decency; that being comely for the one Sex, which often is not (at least in the same degree) for the other. It will therefore be no absurd attemt to decipher those excellencies, which are the genuine and proper ornaments of Women: which though in some instances they may perhaps prove coincident with those of Men; yet even those which are equally inclusive of both, by the divine command may have some additional weight on the female side, in respect of decency, fame, or some other (not despisable) consideration. 5. For the better directing our present inquisition, it will be most regular, first to inquire what those Virtues are which are universally necessary to Women in all Ages and circumstances of their lives: such which, like the first matter, are prerequired for all forms; which, like a firm and solid Basis, must support all various events, all changes of their condition or relations. And secondly, we shall consider them in those changes, tract them through the several stages and periods of life, through those several states which create the most considerable mutations to them; and in each of those consider, what are the new and proportionate accessions of duty. 6. As in the outward accommodations of life▪ the things of most daily and indispensible use deserve the greatest valu; so in moral or divine Endowments, the benefit of possessing is best mesured by the misery of wanting them. This first rank therefore of female Virtues which we are to treat of, will have that to recommend them; they being so strictly necessary, that their absence is not only a privative ill, but also exposes to a deluge of all positive mischiefs consequent to that privation. 7. This will be found true in all the severals we are to pass through, but in none more eminently then in that we shall choose to begin with, the Virtue of Modesty; which may be considered in a double notion, the one as it is opposed to boldness and indecency, the other to leightness and wantonness. In the first acception, Zeno has not ill defined it, to be the Science of decent motion, it being that which guides and regulates the whole behaviour, checks and controls all rude exorbitancies, and is the great civilizer of conversations, It is indeed a virtue of a general influence; does not only ballast the mind with sober and humble thoughts of one's self, but also steers every part of the outward frame. It appears in the face in calm and meek looks, where it so impresses itself, that it seems thence to have acquired the name of shamefacedness. Certainly, (whatever the modern opinion is) there is nothing gives a greater lustre to a feminine beauty: so that St. Paul seems, not ill to have consulted their concerns in that point, when he substitutes that as a suppletory ornament to the deckings of Gold & Pearl and costly Array, 1 Tim. 2. But I fear this now will be thought too antiquated a dress, and an Apostle be esteemed no competent Judge in this Science; which is now become so solemn a thing, that certainly no Academy in the World can vie numbers with the Students of this Mystery. Yet when they have strained their art to the highest pitch; an innocent modesty, and native simplicity of Look, shall eclipse their glaring splendour, and triumph over their artificial handsomeness: on the other side, let a Woman be decked with all the embellishments of Art, nay and care of Nature too, yet if boldness be to be read in her face, it blots all the lines of beauty, is like a cloud over the Sun, intercepts the view of all that was otherwise amiable, and renders its blackness the more observable, by being placed near somewhat that was apt to attract the eyes. 8. But Modesty confines not its self to the face, she is there only in shadow and effigy; but is in life and motion in the words, whence she banishes all indecency and rudeness, all insolent vaunt and supercilious disdains, and what ever else may render a person troublesome, or ridiculous to the company. Nor does she only refine the language, but she tunes it too, modulates the tone and accent, admits no unhandsome earnestness or loudness of Discourse, the latter whereof was thought so undecent in Carneades (though in his public Lectures) that the Gymnasiarch reproved him for it: and sure, if 'twere not allowable in a Philosopher in his School, 'twill less become a woman in ordinary converse; and if we consult Prov. 7. 11. and 9 we shall find loudness and clamour in women coupled with such other epithets, as will surely not much recommend it. A woman's tongue should indeed be like the imaginary Music of the spheres, sweet and charming, but not to be heard at distance. 9 And as Modesty prescribes the manner, so it does also the measure of speaking; restrains all excessive talkativeness, a fault incident to none but the bold; the monopolising of discourse being one of the greatest assume imaginable, and so rude an imposing upon the company, that there can scarce be a greater indecency in conversation. This is ingeniously expressed by our divine Poet Herbert, A civil guest, Will no more talk all, then eat all the Feast. He that engrosses the talk, enforces silence upon the rest, & so is presumed to look on them only as his auditors & Pupils, whilst he magisteriously dictates to them: which gave occasion to Socrates to say, It is arrogance to speak all, and to be willing to hear nothing. It is indeed universally an insolent unbecoming thing, but most peculiarly so in a woman. 10. The ancient Romans thought it so, much so▪ that they allowed not that sex to speak publicly, though it were in their own necessary defence; insomuch that when Amesia stood forth to plead her own cause in the Senate, they looked on it as so prodigious a thing; that they sent to consult the Oracle what it portended to the State: and though these first severities were soon lost in the successes of that Empire, Valerius Maximus could find but two more, whose either necessity or impudence, persuaded them to repete this unhandsome attemt▪ 11. And this great indecency of Loquacity in Women, I am willing to hope is the reason why that Sex is so generally charged with it; not that they are all guilty, but that when they are, it appears so unhandsome, as makes it the more eminent and remarkable. Whether it were from that ungracefulness of the thing, or from the propension Women have to it, I shall not determine; but we find the Apostle very earnest in his cautions against it; 1 Cor. 14. 35. he expressly enjoins Women to keep silence in the Church, where he affirms it a shame for them to speak: and though this seems only restrained to the Ecclesiastical Assemblies, yet even so it reaches home to the gifted Women of our age, who take upon them to be Teachers; whereas he allowed them not to speak in the Church, no not in order to learning, though a more modest design then that of teaching. But besides this, he has a more indefinite prescription of silence to Women, 1 Tim. 2. 11. Let Women learn in silence; and again, v. 12. to be in silence. The Apostle seems to ground the Phrase, not only on the ●…feriority of the woman in regard of the crea●…ion and first sin, v. 13, 14. but also on the presumption that they needed instruction; towards which, silence has always been reckoned an indispensible qualification, the introductory precept in all Schools, as that wherein all attention is founded. If some women of our age think they have outgon that novice state the Apostle supposes, and want no teaching; I must crave leave to believe, they want that very first Principle which should set them to learn, viz. the knowledge of their own ignorance: a science which so grows with study and consideration, that Socrates after a long life spent in pursuit of Wisdom, gave this as the sum of his learning, This only I know, that I know nothing. This proficiency seems much wanting to our female Talker, who, in this, seem to confute the common maxim, and give what they have not, by making their ignorance visible to others, though it be undiscernible to themselves: and to such we may not unfitly apply the Sarcasin of Zeno to a talkative Youth; their ears are fallen into their tongue. 12. But besides this assuming sort of talkativeness, there is another usually charged upon the Sex, a mere chatting, prattling humour, which maintains itself at the cost of their neighbours, and can never want supplies as long as there is any body within the reach of their observation. This I would fain hope is most the vice of th●… vulgar sort of Women; the education of the Nobler setting them above those mean entertainments. Yet when 'tis remembered that St. Paul▪ 1 Tim. 5. 13. makes Tattling the effect of Idleness, it may not unreasonably be feared, that where there is most of the Cause, there will be some of the Effect. And indeed, it would puzzle one to conjecture, how that round of formal Visits among Persons of Quality should be kept up without this: That their Visits should be only a dumb Show, none will suspect among women; and when the unfashionable themes of Housewifery, Piety, etc. are excluded, there will not remain many Topics of Discourse, unless this be called into supply. And this indeed is a most inexhaustible reserve, it having so many springs to feed it, that 'tis scarce possible it should fail. And when 'tis farther considered, how apt a minister it is to Envy, Spleen, Revenge, and other feminine Passions, we cannot suppose it can be unacceptable where any of those bear sway. But I believe it is not more frequently introduced by any thing then the vanity of Wit, which has no where a more free and exorbitant range than in censuring and deriding; nay, finds not only Exercise but Triumph too, vain Persons seldom considering the Infirmities or Follies of others, without some Complacencies, and assuming reflections on themselves; which how unagreeable it renders this liberty of talking to that Modesty we recommend, is obvious enough, and would God 'twere only oppo●…t to that; but it is no less so to all the obligations of Justice and Charity also, which are scarce so frequently violated by any thing, as by this licen●…iousness of the tongue. 13. There yet another vice of it, for which ●…he female Sex has been generally accused, and that ●…s revelling of secrets; an infirmity presumed so ●…cident to them, that Aristotle issaid tohave made ●…t one of the three things he solemnly repent of, that he had ever trusted a Secret with a Woman. But by how much the greater prejudice ●…hey lie under in this respect, the greater ought to be their caution to vindicate not only their Persons, but their Sex, from the imputation, which is indeed extremely reproachful: this blasting humour being a symptom of a loose, impotent soul, a kind of incontinence of the mind, that can retain nothing committed to it; but as if that also had its Diabetic passion, perpetually and almost insensibly evacuating all. And indeed however we are willing to appropriate this to the Sex, yet the fault is owing only to this ill constitution of the mind, which is ofttimes no less visible in men; as on the contrary, those women who by reason and virtue have acquired a Solidity and Firmness of mind, are as sure repositories of a Secret, as the most masculine confident: and such I have no intent to involve in this charge, but rather, by proposing their example to the rest, show that nature has put them under no fatal necessity of being thus impotent. A secret is no such unruly thing, but it may be kept in: they may take the Wise man's word for it, Ecclus. 19 10. If thou hast heard a wordlet it die with thee, and be bold, it will not burst thee. 14. This is a piece of daring manliness, which they may affect without breach of Modesty; would God they would take it in exchange for that virile Boldness, which is now too common among many even of the best Rank. Such a degenerous age do we now live in, that every thing seems inverted, even Sexes; whilst men fall to the Effeminacy and Niceness of women, and women take up the Confidence, the Boldness of men, and this too under the notion of good Breeding. A blush (though formerly reputed the colour of Virtue) is accounted worse manners than those things which ought to occasion it, and such as nothing but the simplicity of a Country Girl can excuse. But the infirmity for the most part proves very corrigible; a few weeks of the Town Discipine wears off that piece of Rusticity, and advances them to a modish Assurance. Nor is that designed to terminate in itself, but it is to carry them on, till they arise to a perfect Metamorphosis, their Gesture, their Language, nay sometimes their Habit too being affectedly masculine; so that what Tacitus speaks of Vitellius in relation to his being a Prince, we may apply to them and say, that If others did not remember them to be women, themselves could easily forget it. 15. Yet, were this affectation confined only to the more innocent indifferent things, 'twere more tolerable; but alas it extends farther, and there are women who think they have not made a sufficient escape from their sex, till they have assumed the Vices of men too. A sober modest dialect is too effeminate for them: a blustering ranting stile is taken up, and (to show them proficients in it) adorned with all the Oaths and Imprecations their memory or invention can supply; as if they meant to vindicate their sex from the imputation of Timerousness by daring God Almighty. 'Tis true indeed, an Oath sounds gratingly out of whatever mouth, but out of a woman's it hath such an uncouth harshness, that there is no noise on this side Hell can be more amazingly odious; yet this is a music this discordant age hath introduced, no former having I think ever heard it in places at all civilised: so that the female swearers want that poor shadow of excuse the men pretend to, it having been so far from customary, that the unwontedness could not but force them to some industry and pains, ere they could acquire the habit, and set up for female Hector's; an essay, wherein they have been very kind to the masculine, by showing the world there can be something worse. 16. 'Tis said there want not some who complete the demonstration by the other parallel quality of Drinking also; a vice detestable in all, but prodigious in women, who put a double violence upon their nature, the one in the intemperance, the other in the immodesty; and though they may take their immediate copy from men, yet (to the praise of their proficiency) they outdo their Exemplar and draw near the original: nothing human being so much beast as a drunken woman. This is evident enough if we look only on the mere surface of the crime; but if we dive farther into its inferences and adherencies, the assirmation is yet more irrefragable. She who is first a prostitute to Wine, will soon be to Lust also; she has dismissed her Guards, discarded all the suggestions of reason, as well as Grace, and is at the mercy of any, of every assailant. And when we consider how much fuller the world is of Amnons' then joseph's, it will not be hard to guests the fate of that woman's Chastity, which has no other bottom then that of men's. So that unless her vice secure her virtue, and the loathsomeness of the one prevent attemts on the other; 'tis scarce imaginable a woman that loses her Sobriety should keep her honesty: so that indeed I might more properly have made this reflection when I come to speak of Modesty in the second notion of it, as it is opposed to Lightness and Wantonness, but it falls not much amiss now, to be the introduction to it. 17. And if we consider Modesty in this sense, we shall find it the most indispensible requisite of a woman; a thing so essential and natural to the sex, that every the least declination from it, is a proportionable receding from Womanhood, bu●… the total abandoning it ranks them among Brutes, nay sets them as far beneath those, as an acquired vileness is below a native. I need make no collection of the verdicts either of the Philosophers or Divines in the case, it being so much an instinct of nature, that though too many make a shift to suppress it in themselves, yet they cannot so darken the notion in others, but that an Impudent woma●… is looked on as a kind of Monster; a thing diverted and distorted from its proper form. That there is indeed a strange repugnancy to nature, needs no other evidence than the struggling, and difficulty in the first violations of Modesty, which always begin with regrets and blushes, and require a great deal of Self-denial, much of vicious Fortitude, to encounter with the recoilings and upbraid of their own minds. 18. I make no doubt but this age has arrived to as compendious arts of this kind, as industrious vice can suggest, and we have but too many instances of early proficients in this learning; yet I dare appeal even to the forwardest of them, whether at first they could not with more ease have kept their virtue then lost it. Certainly such are the Horrors and Shames that precede those first Guilts, that they must commit a rape upon themselves (force their own reluctancies and aversions) before they can become willing prostitutes to others. This their Seducers seem well to understand, and upon that score are at the pains of so many preparatory court, such expense of presents too; as if this were so uncouth a crime, that there were no hope to introduce it but by a confederacy of some more familiar vices, their Pride or Covetousness. 19 The best way therefore to countermine those Stratagems of men, is for women to be suspiciously vigilant even of the first approaches. He that means to defend a Fort, must not abandon the Outworks, and she that will secure her Chastity, must never let it come to too close a siege, but repass the very first and most remote insinuations of a temter. Therefore when we speak of modesty in our present notion of it, we are not to oppose it only to the grosser act of Incontinentcy, but to all those misbehaviours, which either discover or may create an inclination to it; of which sort is all lightness of carriage, wanton glances, obscene discourse; things that show a woman so weary of her honour, that the next comer may reasonably expect a surrender, and consequently be invited to the Assault. Indeed they are such, that one would rather think them the result of many acts, then merely the Prologue to one, and yet nothing but a custom of private sin, could supply impudence enough to do what is so publicly scandalous; and where this is found in those of any considerable age, charity itself can scarce pass a milder censure. Yet possibly in those of the youngest sort, they may at first be taken up (as their dress is) merely in imitation of others, embraced implicitly upon the authority of those, whose examples govern the modes. When a poor girl, who has still so much of the child as to admire every thing that glitters, sees these things used by the gay people of the world, 'tis no wonder if she take these as part of their accomplishments, and, upon peril of that formidable calamity of being unfashionable, conform to them: Which yet does not so much extenuate the guilt of those few seduced persons, as it aggravats that of the Seducers, and attests the strange corruption of the age, that those things which the less hardened sort of prostitutes were formerly ashamed of, should now pass into the frequency and avowedness of a fashion, become a part of Discipline and Institution of youth; as if vice now disdained to have any punies in its school, and therefore by a preposterous anticipation, makes its pupils begin where they were wont to end, initiates them at first into that shamelesness, which was wont to be the product only of a long habit: what the end will be of these Piqueerers in impudence, who thus put their virtue on the forlorn hope, is easy to divine. Yet is not this the only state of danger: they who keep their ranks, and though they do not provoke assaults, yet stay to receive them, may be far enough from safety. She that lends a patient ear to the praises of her Wit or Beauty, intends at first perhaps only to gratify her vanity; but when she is once charmed with that Siren's song, bewitched with that Flattery, she insensibly declines to a kindnefs for that person that values her so much▪ and when that spark shall be blowed up by perpetual remonstrances of Passion, and perhaps little Romantique artifices of pretending to die for her, with a thousand other tricks, which lust can suggest, 'twill like the Naptha Naturalists speak of, in a moment grow to an unquenchable flame, to the ruin both of her virtue and honour. 20. Let no woman therefore presume upon the innocence of her first intentions; she may as well upon confidence of a sound constitution, enter a pest-house and converse with the plague, whose contagion does not more subtly insinuate itself, than this sort of temptation. And as in that case she would not stay to define what were the critical distance, at which she might approach with safety, but would run as far from it as she could; so in this, it no less concerns her, to remove herself from the possibility of danger, and (how unfashionable soever it be) to put on such a severe Modesty, that her very looks should guard her, and discourage the most impudent assailant. 'Tis said of Philopemen, that the Lacedæmonians finding it their interest to corrupt him with money, they were yet so possessed with the reverence of his virtues, that none durst undertake to attaque him; and sure 'twere not impossible for women to arrive at the same security: such an authority there is in Virtue, that where 'tis eminent, 'tis apt to control all loose desires, and he must not be only lustful but sacrilegious, that attemts to violate such a Sanctuary. 21. But perhaps that sex may fear, that by putting on such a Strictness, they shall lose the glory of their Beauty, which is now chiefly estimated by the number of those who court and adore them. To this in the first place I must say, that they are miserable Trophies to Beauty that must be built on the ruins of virtue and honour; and she that to boast the length of her hair should hang herself in it, would but act the same folly in a lower instance. 22. But than secondly, 'tis a great mistake to think their Beauty shall be the less prized, since 'tis incident to man's nature to esteem those things most that are at distance, whereas an easy and cheap descent begets contemt. So long as they govern themselves by the exact rules of Prudence and Modesty, their lustre is like the Meridian Sun in its clearness, which tho less approchable, is counted more glorious; but when they decline fromthose, they are like thatSun in a cloud, which though safelier gazed on, is not half so bright. But besides these collateral advantages, 'tis certain that Modesty gives an immediate and direct improvement to Beauty; for though men for their own vicious ends wish them severed, yet they cannot but think they are the most amiable when united, and you shall hear them often commend the aspect of that Modesty, which they would fain circumvent. 23. But in the 3d. place, there is nothing but such a Reservedness that can indeed make their Beauty triumphant. Parley and conquest are the most distant things; and she that descends to treat with an assailant, whatever he may tell her of his being her captive, 'tis but in order to the making her his; which when she once is, there is no state of servitude half so wretched, nothing in the world being so slavishly abject as a prostitute woman. For besides all the interest of another life which she basely resigns, the sacrifices all that is valuable in this: her reputation she puts wholly in his power that has debauched her, and which is worse her reformation too. If she should have a mind to return to virtue, she dares not for fear he should divulge her former strayings from it: so that, like Catiline, she is engaged to future evils to secure the past. Yea she subjects herself not only to his lust, but to all his humours and fancies, nay even to all those who have been instrumental to their privacies, none of them all being to be displeased for fear of blabbing: and when 'tis remembered, what a sort of cattle they are, which are the engines in such affairs, There can fierce be any thing more deplorable then to be within their lash. 'Tis true indeed, some have found a way to cure this uneasiness by being their own delators, not only confessing but boasting their crime, and by an impudent owning prevent all accusations: yet even this serves but to attest the intolerableness of the former condition, when this worst of mischiefs is chose as a rescue. Their impatience of being always in awe, makes them take up that resolution for infamy, which Cesar did for death, who said 'twas better to die once then to be always in fear. And though this desperate remedy may cure the fear, yet it ascertains the reproach; for whereas in the impeachment of others there is place for doubt, and charity may promt some to disbelieve it, yet when the fact is justified by the offender, the evidence is uncontrollable, and withal doubles the infamy. For, besides that which adheres to the crime there is a distinct portion due to the impudence; yet like the Scorpion it must cure its own sting, and though it increases the obloquy, yet it deadens the sense of it. 24. But when they have thus steeled their foreheads against all impressions of Shame, they are still liable to many other painful effects of their sin. What fears of being abandoned, what jealousies of rivals, do often torture them? And indeed not without ground: for they cannot but know, that the same humour of variety which engaged their Paramours in their love, may do the same for another, and another, and so on; it being as possible to grasp the air, as to confine a wand'ring lust. Besides, what anxious apprehensions have they of the approach of age, which they are sure will render them loathed and despicable, as also of all intermedial decays of Beauty? How critically do they examine their glass? and every wrinkle that it represents in their face, becomes a deep gash in the heart. But if they have at any time the lesure (or indeed the courage) to look inward the view is yet more dreadful, a deformed foul, spoilt of its innocence, and rendered almost as brutish as the sin it hath consented to. But though it be in some respects like the beast that perisheth, it is not, it cannot be, in that which would most avail it; an endless being it cannot lose, nor can it expect any thing from that preeminence of its nature, but an infinity of misery. This is such an amazing contemplation, as, methinks, were it insisted on, should allay the hottest blood; no impure flames being so fierce as to contest with those of unquenchable fire. It is therefore though a very impious, yet no unskilful artifice of those, who would vitiate women in their manners, to corrupt them in their Principles, and by extinguishing all hopes or fears of another World, persuade them to immerse boldly into all the abominations of this. 'Tis said, this is now an art of wooing, the modern praeludium to the basest proposals: it seems this age dares not trust only to the former ways of seducement, fears there will not be women enough that will forget the interests of another World; and therefore is fain to set up a new party of others to disbelieve it. And I fear that design has been too prosperous; many women are so much more concerned for their bodies then their souls, that they are contented the one should be elevated upon the depression and debasement of the other; and whilst with a vain transport, they can hear their outward form applauded as Angelical, or Divine, they can very tamely endure to have their better part vilified and despised, defined to be only a puff of air in their nostrils, which will scatter with their expiring breath, or, in the Atheist's phrase, Wisd-6. 6. vanish as the soft air. Whereas they should consider, that they who preach this doctrine to them, design it only to infer a pernicious use. 'Tis a maxim in Politics, that those counsels are suspiciously to be scanned, which carry in their front the advisers' interest; which certainly is never more visible then in this case, he that once gains this point, never needing to contest for all the rest. For he that can persuade a woman out of her soul, will soon command her body, and then what was at first his interest, becomes hers at last; and her wishes of the mortality of her soul, are much stronger than 'tis possible her belief of it could be: which confirms abundantly my affirmation of the servile, wretched condition of such a person. For if we judge that a very severe slavery, which makes people desirous to resign a temporal being, what shall we think of that which provokes them to renounce an eternal? 25. And now by this gradation of mischiefs we may judge of the deplorable state of those who have abandoned their Virtue; wherein I doubt not the consciences of many cannot only attest, but much improve the description; and all I shall say to such, is, only to consult that bosom monitor, which till they do all Homilies will be insignificant. My design was not therefore to tell them what they too well feel, but only to point out their wracks as warnings others. 26. Let those therefore who are yet untainted, and by being so, have their judgements clear and unbiast, consider soberly the misery of the other condition, and that not only to applaud, but secure their own; and when ever the outward pomps and gaudy splendours of a vitiated woman seem, like that of Croesus, to boast their happiness, let them look through that Fallacy, and answer with Solon, that those only are happy who are so at their end. Their most exquisite deckings are but like the garlands on a beast designed for Sacrifice; their richest gems are but the chains, not of their ornament but slavery; and their gorgeous apparel, like that of Herod, covers perhaps a putrid body, (for even that doth not seldom prove their fate) or however, a more putrid soul. They who can thus consider them, will avoid one great snare; for 'tis not always so much the lust of the flesh, as that of the eyes which betrays a woman. 'Tis the known infirmity of the Sex, to love gaiety, and a splendid appearance, which renders all temtations of that sort so connatural to them, that those who are not arrived to a more sober estimate of things, will scarce be secure. It will therefore be necessary for them to regulate their opinions, and reduce all such things to their just valu, and then they will appear so trifling, that they can never maintain any competition with the more solid interests of Virtue and Honor. For though those terms seem in this loose age to be exploded; yet where the things are visible they extort a secret veneration, even from those who think it their concern publicly to deride them: whereas on the other side a defection from them exposes to all the contemt imaginable, renders them despised even by those who betrayed them to it, leaves a perpetual blot upon their Names, and their Family. For in the character of a woman, let Wit and Beauty, and all female accomplishments stand in the front; yet if wantonness bring up the rear, the satire soon devours the Panegyric, and (as in an Echo) the last words only will reverberate, and her vice will be remembered when all the rest will be forgot. But I need not declaim upon this theme; the Son of Syraeh has done ittomy hand, in many passages, but especially Ecclus. 23. to which I refer the reader. 32, What hath been already said, is I suppose, sufficient to convince every woman how much it is her concern to keep herself strictly within the bounds of Modesty and Virtue. In order to which, there is nothing more important than a judicious choice of their Company; I mean not only for men, but women also: vice is contagious, and this especially has that worst quality of the Plague, that 'tis malicious, and would infect others. A woman that knows herself scandalous, thinks she is reproached by the virtue of another, looks on her as one that is made to reprove her ways, as it is, Wisd. 2. 14. and therefore in her own defence strives to levelly the inequality, not by reforming her self, (that she thinks too hard a task) but by corrupting the other. To this end, such are willing to screw themselves into an acquaintance, will be officiously kind, and by all arts of condescension and obliging, endeavour to ensnare a woman of reputation into their intimacy. And if they succeed, if they can but once entangle her into that cobweb-friendship; they then, spider-like, infuse their venom, never leave their vile insinuations till they have poisoned and ruined her. But and if on the other side they meet with one of too much sagacity to be so entrapped; if they cannot taint her Innocence, they will endeavour to blast her Fame; represent her to the World to be what they would have made her; that is in the Psalmists phrase; such a one as themselves, Psal. 50. 24. so that there is no conversing with them, but with a manifest peril either of Virtue or Honour, which should methinks be a sufficient dissuasive. 'Tis true, 'tis not always in ones power to shun the meeting with such persons, they are too numerous, and too intruding to be totally avoided; unless, as St. Paul says, 1 Cor. 5. 10. one should go out of the World. But all voluntary converse supposes a choice, and therefore every body that will may refrain that, may keep on the utmost frontiers of civility, without ever suffering any approach towards intimacy and familiarity. 33. And sure were this distance duly observed, it might be of excellentuse, a kind of lay Excommunication, which might come very seasonably to supply the want of the Ecclesiastic now out-dated. And this seems very well to agree with the sense of Solon, the wise Athenian Lawgiver, who, besides that he shut the Temple-doors against them, interdicted them the sacred Assemblies; made it one of his laws, that an Adulteress should not be permitted to wear any ornaments, that so they might in their dress carry the note of their infamy. Should we have the like distinction observed, I sear many of our gayest birds would be unplumed, and though the same be not now an expedient practicable; yet the former is, and might be of very good use. For beside that already mentioned of securing the innocent, it might perhaps have a good effect on the guilty, who could not but reflect with some shame on themselves, if they were thus singled out and discriminated; whereas whilst they are suffered to mix with the best Societies, (like hurt Deer in a herd) they flatter themselves they are undiscernible. 34. But indeed the advantage of this course is yet more extensive, and would reach the whole Sex, which now seems to lie under a general scandal, for the fault of particular persons. We know any considerable number of smutty ears casts a blackness on the whole field, which yet were they apart, would perhaps not fill a small corner of it; and in this uncharitable age, things are apt to be denominated not from the greater but worse part: whereas, were the precious severed from the vile, by some note of distinction, there might then a more certain estimate be made: and I cannot be so severe to womankind, as not to believe the scandulous part would then make but a small show which now makes so great a noise. 35. Besides this I can suggest but one way more for women of honour to vindicate their Sex, & that is by making their own virtue as illustrious as they can; and by the bright shine of that draw off men's eyes from the worse prospect. And to this there is required not only innocence, but prudence; to abstain, as from all real evil, so from the appearance of it too, 1 Thess. 5. 22. not, by any doubtful or suspicious action, to give any umbrage for censure but as the Apostle says in another case, 2 Cor. II. 11. to cut off occasion from them that desire occasion; to deny themselves the most innocent liberties, when any scandalous inference is like to be deduced from them. And though perhaps no caution is enough to secure against the malicious, and the jealous; tho 'tis possible some black mouth may asperse them, yet they have still Plato's reserve, who being told of some who had defamed him, 'tis no matter said he, I will live so that none shall belieuè them. If their lives be but such, that they may acquit themselves to the sober and unprejudiced, they have all the security can be aspired to in this world; the more evincing attestation they must attend from the unerring Tribunal hereafter; where there lies a certain appeal for all injured persons who can calmly wait for it. SECT. II. Of Meekness. 1. IN the next place we may rank Meekness as a necessary feminine Virtue; this even nature seems to teach, which abhors monstrosities and disproportions, and therefore having allotted to women a more smooth and soft composition of body, infers thereby her intention, that the mind should correspond with it. For though the adulterations of art, can represent in the same Face beauty inone position, and deformity in another, yet nature is more sincere, and never meant a serene and clear forehead, should be the frontispiece to a cloudy tempestuous heart. 'Tis therefore to be wished they would take the admonition, and whilst they consult their glasses, whether to applaud or improve their outward form, they would cast one look inwards, and examine what symmetry is there held with a fair outside; whether any storm of passion darken and overcast their interior beauty, and use atleast an equal diligence to rescu that; as they would to clear their face from any stain or blemish. 2. But it is not nature only which suggests this, but the God of nature too, Meekness being not only recommended to all as a Christian virtue, but particularly enjoined to women as a peculiar accomplishment of their Sex, 1 Pet. 3. 4. where after the mention of all the exquisite and costly deckings of art, this one ornament of a meeek and quiet spirit, is confronted to them, with this eminent attestation, that it is in the sight of God of great price, and therefore to all who will not enter dispute with God, and contest his judgement, it must be so too. Now though Meekness be in itself a single entire virtue, yet it is diversified, according to the several faculties of the soul, over which it has influence; so that there is a Meekness of Understanding, a Meekness of the Will, and a Meekness of the Affections; all which must concur to make up the Meek and quiet spirit. 3. And first for the Meekness of the Understanding, it consists in a pliableness to conviction, and is directly opposite to that sullen adherence observable in too many; who judge of tenets not by their conformity to truth and reason, but to their prepossessions and tenaciously retained opinions, only because they (or some in whom they confide) have once owned them; and certainly such a temper is of all others the most obstructive to Wisdom. This puts them upon the chance of a Lottery, and what they first happen to draw, determines them merely upon the privilege of its precedency, so that had Mahomet first seized them, his tenure would have been as indeses●…ble, as Christ's now. How great the force of such prejudices are, we may see by the oppositions it raised against Christian doctrine in gross at its first promulgation; the Jews blind Zeal for the Traditions of their Fathers, engaging them in the murder even of that very Messias whom those Traditions had taught them to expect, and after in the persecution of that doctrine which his Resurrection had so irrefragably attested. And to justify the propriety of this observation, to those I now write to, 'tis expressly affirmed, Acts. 1. 3. 50. That they made use of the zeal of the female Proselytes for that purpose. The Jews stirred up the devout and honourable women, and raised a persecution against Paul and Barnabas. So that 'tis no unseasonable advice to such, to be sure they see well their way before they run too fierce a career in it; otherwise the greatest heat without light, does but resemble that of the bottomless pit, where flames and darkness do at once cohabit. 4. But whilst I decry this prejudicated stifness, I intent not to plead for its contrary extreme, and ●…ecommend a too easy flexibility; which is a temper of equal, if not more ill consequence than the former. The adhering to one opinion can expose but to one error, but a mind that lies open to the effluxes of all new tenets, may successively entertain a whole ocean of delusions; and to be thus yielding, is not a Meekness but Servileness of Understanding. Indeed 'tis so great a weakness of mind, that the Apostle sinks it somewhat below the impotence of women, and resembles it to that of children, Eph. 4. 14. yet it seems the folly of some women had levell●…d them with children in this matter, for the same Apostle takes notice of such, to whom as he gives the Epithet of silly, so the latter part of the Character speaks them incorrigibly so, ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth, 1 Tim. 3. 6. a description which if we compare with our times, we must think prophetic. For how many instances hath this age given us of women so led captive; who being either affected with the novelty, or seduced by the pretended zeal of a new teacher, have given up their understanding to him: and for a while this strong man has kept possession, but when a stronger than he hath come it has fared as with him in the Gospel, a louder zeal or a newer doctrine soon divides his spoils; and that by force of the very same principle, on which he set up, which within a while undermines the latter also, and so successively; till the poor Proselyte has been huried through all the mazes of wild error, and at last perhaps (like a palate distracted by too much variety) she fixes upon that which at first she most decried. This has been eventually true in some, who setting out in the fiercest detestation of Popery, have wandered so long like the blinded Syrians, 2 King. 6. 20. that they have at last found themselves in the midst of Samaria; by an insensible circular motion been brought about to that Religion, from which alone they designed to fly. So little do itching ears know whether they may be carried: and indeed the ear when infected with that prurienthumor▪ may▪ vie Mischiefs with the tongue, which St. James tells us, Chap. 3. 15. is (though a little member) a world of iniquity. 5. 'Tis therefore the most important concern of all, to fortify that so assailable part; but 'tis especially so of women, not only in respect of that natural imbecility, which renders them liable to seducement, but also because the opinion of their being so, makes them particularly aimed at by seducers. For as he who is to put off adulterated wares, will choose the most unwary chapmen, so these Sophisticators of Divinity, desire the most undiscerning Auditors. And truly that so many of that Sex are so, I do not so much impute to any natural defect, as to the loose notions they have of Religion, of which they have perhaps some general confused apprehensions, but have so little penetrated the depth of it, that they know not why they are Christians, rather than Turks, why of the Church of England, rather than of that of Rome, or Geneva. And while they are thus unfixt, and have no better principle than custom and compliance; they have nothing to answer to any the grossest deceit that can be obtruded upon them, which for aught they know or have considered, may be as true as any thing they formerly professed. Now when any one in this condition shall be assaulted, not only by the repeated importunities of false teachers, but also by ingeminated threatenings of hell and damnation, she is like one awaked by the out●…ry of fire, and in that amaze will be apt to run wherever the first discoverer of her danger shall lead her. 6. I shall therefore most earnestly recommend it as the best Antidote against the poison of novel doctrines, to examine well the grounds of the old; for want of this it is that our Church has been exposed to so many frivolous cavils, it being too incident to the perverse Pride ofhumane nature, to speak evil of things we understand not. And had our she-zealots first consulted some sober guides, and from them understood upon what grounds the Practice as well as Doctrine of our Church was founded, they could not so easily have been carried away by every wind of doctrine, as the Apostle phrases it, Eph. 4. 14. 7. Indeed this is no more than common justice exacts, which forbids the condemning even the vilest malefactor unheard, (& unheard and not understood, are in this case terms equivalent) yet sure they owe something more to that Church from whose ministry themselves must confess to have derived their Christianity, in whose bosom they have been cherished, and consequently may plead a mother's right in them; so that unless possession, which fortifies Civil rights, destroy the Ecclesiastic; she may challenge besides that natural justice, (which is the common due of humanity) a parental respect and reverence, a debt which is sure very ill answered by those, who cast off her obedience before they have at all considered what it is she commands. And if the abdicating a child be a thing so unnatural, as needs some very important cause to justify it; the renouncing of a Parent must require a reason as far transcending that, as the guilt does, if it be causeless; and such it must inevitably be in all, who for want of due examination, suffer themselves to be led intogroundless prejudices and disgusts. 8. To prevent that guilt, and a multitude of others which spring from it; I must again repeat my Proposal, that women of Quality (who are presumed to want neither Parts nor lesure for it) would a little look into the inside of the Religion they profess; if it be a true one, 'twill bear the inspection, truth never shunning the light; if it be not, the discovery cannot be too early. And indeed among the many remarkable impresses of truth our Church bears, this is one, that she does not blindfold her Proselytes, leaves them the use of their discerning Faculty, and does not by obtruding upon them an implicit belief, force them to lay down their Reason when they take up their Faith. And now why should not Ladies spend a few of their many idle hours in this inquisition, I mean not to embark them in a maze of controversies, but only to discern those plain grounds of Truth on which our Church builds; which if well digested, will prove a better amulet against delusion then the reading whole Tomes of Disputations, more apt to distract then fortify their understandings. And had they thus done, had their minds been ballasted by sober principles, so many of them had never made up the triumphs of so many and so various seducers. And though to such this advertisement may come too late (like assistance after a defeat) yet it may be a seasonable caution to others; and to those I offer it, as that very temper wherein consists that rational Meekness of the understanding I would recommend to them, which is equally violated by a blind obstinacy, or as blind a flexibility. 9 A second sort of Meekness is that of the Will, which lies in its just subordination, and submission to a more supreme Authority, which in Divine things is the Will of God; in Natural or Moral right Reason; and in human Constitutions the command of Superiors: and so long as the Will governs itself by these in their respective Orders, it transgresses not the Meekness required of it. But experience attests, that the Will is now in its depravation an imperions Faculty, apt to cast off that subjection to which it was designed; and act independently from those motives which should influence it. This God knows is too common in all Ages, all Conditions, and Sexes: but the Feminine lies more especially under an ill name for it. Whether that have grown from the low opinion conceived of their Reason, less able to maintain its Empire, or from the multipli●…d habitual instances themselves have given of unruly Wills, I shall not undertake to determine; but either way 'tis, I am sure, so great a reproach, as they should be very industrious to wipe off. And truly I know nothing more incentive to that endeavour, than the having a right estimate of the Happiness as well as Virtue of a governable Will. How calmly do those glide through all (even the roughest) event, that can but master that stubborn Faculty? A will resigned to God's, how does it enervate and enfeeble any calamity? Nay indeed it triumphs over it, and by that conjunction with him that ordains it, may be said to command even what it suffers. 'Twas a Philosophical Maxim, that a Wise moral man could not be injured, could not be miserable. But sure 'tis much more true of him who has that divine Wisdom of Christian resignation, that twists and enwraps all his choices with God's, and is neither at the pains nor hazard of his own elections; but is secure, that unless Omniscience can be deceived, or Omnipotence defeated, he shall have what is really best for him. 10. Proportionable (though not equal) to this, is the happiness of a Will regulated by Reason in things within its Sphere: 'tis the dignity of humane Nature, and that which distinguishes it from that of Beasts. Yea, even those grow more contemptible in their kinds, the farther they are removed from it. The stupid sturdiness of an Ass has rendered it Proverbial for folly, when the tractableness of other Animals has tempted some to list them among rationals. Besides, reason affords something of a Basis and Foundation for the Will to bottom on. He that governs himself by reason (that being still the same) will act equally and consonant to himself; but he that does a thing this moment, only because he will, may the next have as weighty an argument to do something quite contrary; and so may spend his whole time in unravelling his Spider's webs, as the Prophet rightly calls the vain designs of such brutish men, Isa. 59 5. Not to speak of those recoilings and upbraid of the rational faculties, which are the uneasy attendants of those who resist its more directadmonitions; there is nothing exposes to more secular ruins. An ungovernableWill is the most precipitous thing imaginable, and like the Devil in the Swine, hurries headlong to destruction, and yet deprives one of that poor reserve, that faint comfort of the miserable, Pity; which will not be so much invited by the misery, as averted by that wilfulness which caused it. Nay indeed, so little can such persons expect the compassion of others, that 'twill be hard for them to afford themselves their own: the consciousness that their calamities are but the issues of their own perverseness, being apt to dispose them more to hate then pity. And this is no small accumulation of wretchedness, when a man suffers not only directly, but at the rebound too; reinflicts his miseries upon himselfby a grating reflection on his own madness. Yea, so great an aggravation is it, that even Hell itself is enhanced and completed by it; all the torments there being edged and sharpened by the woeful remembrance, that they might once have been avoided. 11. In the last place a Will duly submissive to lawful Superiors, is not only an amiable thing in the eyes of others, but exceedingly happy to one's self; 'tis the parent of peace, and order both public and private. A blessing so considerable, as is very cheaply bought with a little receding from one's own will or humour, whereas the contrary temper is the spring and original of infinite confusions, the grand incendiary which sets Kingdoms, Churches, Families, in combustion; a flat contradiction not only to the word, but even the works of God; a kind of Anticreative power, which reduces things to that Chaos from whenceGod drew them. Our age has given us too many and too pregnant instances of its mischievous effects, which may serve to enhance the value of that governable malleable temper I now recommend. And as a Will thus resigned to Reason and just Authority, is a felicity all rational natures should aspire to; so especially the feminine Sex, whose passions being naturally the more impetuous, aught to be the more strictly guarded and kept under the severe discipline of Reason; for where 'tis otherwise, where a woman has no guide but her Will, and her Will is nothing but her Humour, the event is sure to be fatal to herself, and often to others also. 12. And the hazard of this renders that other restraint of the will, I mean that of obedience to Superiors, a very happy imposition, though perhaps 'tis not always thought so, for those who resist the government of Reason, are not very apt to submit to that of Authority. Yet sure God and nature do attest the particular expediency of this to women, by having placed that Sex in a degree of inferiority to the other. Nay farther 'tis observable, that as there are but three states of life, through which they can regularly pass, viz. Virginity, Marriage, and Widowhood, two of them are states of Subjection, the first to the parent, the second to the husband; and the third, as it is casual, whether ever they arrive to it or no, so if they do, we find it by God himself reckoned as a condition the most desolate and deplorable. If I should say this happens upon that very score that they are left to their own guidance, the sad wracks of many would too much justify the gloss; but however it evinces, that God sets not the same valu upon their being masterless, which some of them do, whilst he reckons them most miserable, when they are most at liberty. 13. And since God's assignation has thus determined subjection to be the women's lot, there needs no other argument of its fitness, or for their acquiescence. Therefore when ever they oppose it, the contumacy flies higher than the immediate Superior, and reaches God himself. And I am apt to think there would not many of that timorous Sex dare so far, were it not for some false punctilios of honour, which (like those among our Duelists) have imposed themselves. These represent Meekness and Submission as a silly sheepish quality unfit for women of breeding and spirit: whilst an imperious obstinacy passes for nobleness and greatness of mind. But alas they are woefully mistaken in their notion of a great spirit, which consists in scorning to do unworthy and vile things, and courageously encountering the adverse events of life, not in spurning at duty, or seeking to pull themselves from that Sphere where the divine Wisdom hath placed them. No sure, stubbornness is the mark only of a great stomac, not of a great mind; and the cruelty of a coward may as well denominate him valiant, as the ungovernableness of a woman can speak her generous. 14. In this I presume I speak the common sense of all, for what value soever they put upon themselves, nothing renders them less acceptable to others; an imperious woman being a plague to her relatives, and a derision to strangers, yea and a torment to herself. Every the least contradiction (which a meek person would pass over insensibly) inflaming such an unruly temper, and transporting her to such extravagances, as often produce very mischievous effects. On the other side if she be humoured and complied with, that serves only to make her more insolent and intolerable; makes her humours grow to such a height, that she knows not herself what would please her, and yet expects that others should●…: so that to such a one, we may apply what Hannibal said of Marcellus, that if he were vanquished; he never gave rest to himself, nor if he were victorious, to others. Certainly the uneasiness of a perverse spirit is so great, that could such come but to compare it with the calm and happy serenity of Meekness and Obedience, there would need no other Lecture to commend them to their esteem or practice. 15. The last branch of Meekness is that of Affections, and consists in reducing the passions to a temper and calmness, not suffering them to make uproars within to disturb one's self, nor without to the disquieting of others, and to this regulation Meekness is generally subservient. Yet because the correcting of some particular passions are more immediately assignable to other virtues, I shall insist only upon that, on which this has a more direct and peculiar influence, I mean Anger, a two edged passion, which whilst it deals it blows without, wounds yet more fattally within. The commotion and vexation which an angry man feels, is far more painful than any thing he can ordinarily inflict upon another: herein justifying the Epithet usually given to Anger, that it is a short madness, for who that were in his right wits, would incur a greater mischief to do a less. It is indeed so great a distemper of the mind, that he that is possessed with it, is incompetent for any sober undertaking, and should as much be suspended from acting, as one in a Frenzy or Lunacy. This was the judgement and practice too of Plato, who going to chastise a servant, and finding himself grow angry, stopped his correction, a friend coming in and ask what he was doing, punishing replies he, an angry man, as thinking himself unfit to discipline another, till he had subdued his own passion. Another time his slave having offended him, I would beat thee, says he, but that I am angry. It were endless indeed to recite the black Epithets given by all Moralists to this vice. It shall suffice to take the suffrage of the wisest of men, one that had acquainted himself to know madness and folly, Ecl. 1. 17. and we find it his sentence, that anger rests in the bosom of fools, Ecl. 7. 11. 16. And what is thus universally unbecoming to human nature, cannot sure be less indecent for the gentler Sex: 'tis rather more so, every thing contracting so much more of deformity, by how much it recedes from its proper kind. Now nature hath befriended women with a more cool and temperate constitution, put less of fire and consequently of choler, in their compositions; so that their heats of that kind are adventitious and preternatural, raised often by fancy or pride, and so both look more unhandsomely, and have less of pretence to veil and cover them. Besides women have a native feebleness, unable to back and assert their angers with any effective force, which may admonish them 'tis never intended they should let loose to that passion, which nature seems by that very unability to have interdicted them. But when they do it, they render themselves at once despised and abhorred; nothing being more ridiculously hateful, than an impotent rage. 17. But as the most feeble insect may sometimes disturb, though not much hurt us, so there is one feminine weapon which as 'tis always ready, so proves often troublesome, I mean the tongue, which, though in its loudest clamours can naturally invade nothing but the ear, yet even that is a molestation. The barking of a dog, though we are secure he cannot bite, is a grating unpleasant sound; and while women seek that way to vent their rage, they are but a sort of speaking brutes, and should consider whether that do not reflect more contemt upon themselves, than their most virulent reproaches can fix upon others. 18. But some things have had the luck to acquire a formidableness no body knows how, and sure there is no greater instance of it, then in this case. A clamorous woman is looked on, though not with reverence, yet with much dread, and we often find things done to prevent or appease her storms, which would be denied to the calm and rational desires of a meeker person. And perhaps such successes have not been a little accessary to the fomenting the humour; yet sure it gives them little cause of triumph, when they consider how odious it makes them, how unfit (yea intolerable) for human society; let them take the verdict of Solomon who declares it better to dwell Pro. 25. 24. in a corner of a house top, then with a brawling woman in a wide house. Nor does the son of Sirach speak less sharply though more ironically, Ecl. 18. 16. A loud crying woman and a scold, shall be sought out to drive away the enemy. And though he taxes the feminine vices impartially enough, yet there is scarce any of them which he more often and more severely brands then this of unquietness. It seems 'twas a thing generally looked on, as very insufferable; as appears by Socrates, who when he designed to discipline himself to perfect patience and tolerance, knew no better way of exercise, then to get a shrew to his wife, an excellence that may perhaps again recommend a woman, when we fall to an age of Philosophers; but at present 'twill be hard for any of our Xantippes to find a Socrates; and therefore that quality is as destructive to their interests in getting husbands, 〈◊〉 it is to the husband's quiet when he is got. 〈◊〉 I presume I need not declaim farther against this fault, which I suppose cannot be frequent among that rank of women to whom this tract is intended: for if neither moral nor divine Considerations have prevented it, yet probably civility and a gentile education hath: a scold being a creature to be looked for only in Stalls and Markets, not among persons o●… quality. Yet if there be any that have descended to so sordid a practice, they have so far degraded themselves, that they are not to wonder if others subtract that respect, which upon other accounts they might demand. 19 And to such I should recommend the usual method of Physic, which is to cure by revulsion, let that sharp humour which so habitually flows to the tongue, be taught a little to recoil, and work inward; and instead of reviling others, discipline and correct themselves: let them upbraid their own madness, that to gratify an impotent, nay a most painful passion, have degenerated from what their nature, their qualities, their education, designed them. And if they can thus reverse their displeasures, 'twill not only secure others from all their indecent assaults, but it will at last extinguish them: for anger is corrosive, and if it be kept only to feed upon its self, must be its own devourer; if it be permitted to fetch no forage from without, nor to nourish itself with suspicions and surmises of others, nor to make any sallies at the tongue, it cannot long hold out. 20. And how much they will herein consult their interest and their reputation too, they may be taught by Solomon, who makes it the distinctive sign of a foolish woman to be clamorous, Prov. 9 13. whereas when he gives the character of his Excellent woman, he links Wisdom and Gentleness together, she openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness, Prov. 31. 26. If this verdict may be admitted (as sure it ought, whether we consider his wisdom, or dear bought experience in women) it will confute the common plea of querulous spirits, who think to seem insensible of any the least provocation, is to appear silly and stupid; though truly if it were so, 'twould be full as eligible as to appear mad and raving, as they commonly do in the transport of their fury. 21. To conclude, Meekness is so amiable, so endearing a quality, and so peculiarly embellishing to women, that did they but all consider it with half the attention they do their more trivial exterior ornaments, 'twould certainly be taken up as the universal mode, in all the several variations of it this Section has presented. SECT. III. Of Compassion. 1. OF near Affinity to the Virtue of Meekness, is that of Mercy and Compassion, which indeed can scarce thrive in any place where the former hath not prepared the soil: Anger and Obstinacy being like that rough East-wind which brought the Egyptian Locusts, Exod. 10. 13. to eat up every green thing in the Land. A mind harrassed with its own impatiency, is not at lesure to observe, much less to condole the calamities of others. But as a calm and clear day befriends us with a more distinct Prospect of distant Objects; so when all is quiet and serene within us, we can then look about us, and discern what exigencies of others invite our pity. 2. I need not say much to raise an estimate of this Virtue, since 'tis so essential to our Nature, so interwoven in the composition of Humanity, that we find in Scripture phrase, compassion is generally seated in the most inward sensible part of our frame, the bowels, so Col. 3. 12. Put on therefore bowels of mercy; and Phil. 2. 1. Bowels and mercies. So that a cruel ruthless person unmans himself, and is by the common vote of mankind to be listed among brutes; nay, not among the better, but only the more hateful, noxious sort of them. 3. But this is yet more unnatural in the female Sex, which being of softer mould, is more pliant and yielding to the impressions of pity, and by the strength of fancy redoubles the horror of any sad object; yea so remarkable is this tenderness, that God, when he would most magnify his own compassion, illustrates it by that of women, as the highest human instance. Indeed such a propension have women to commiseration, that they are usually taxed with an excess in it; so that any imprudent lenity is Proverbially called, A womanish Pity, and therefore it may be thought an impertinence to exhort them to that which they can scarce avoid. But to this I answer; first, that in this degenerous age, 'tis no news to see people violate their instincts, as well as their duties, and be worfe then their nature inclines them; many sins being committed even against the grain, and with violence to constitution. 4. Yet secondly, 'tis not a mere melting of the eyes, or yerning of the bowels I design to recommend: Alas, their tears will not be drink to a thirsty soul, nor will shivering at his nakedness clothe him, this is such an insignificant mercy as St. James describes, saying to a brother or sister, be ye warmed, be ye filled, but not giving them ●…hings needful to the body, c. 2. 16. Indeed, she that weeps over those distresses she will not relieve, might have been fit to be entered in the list of the mourning women among the Jews and Heathens, who were hired to make up the Tragic pomp of Funerals with their mercenary sorrow, but had no real concern in that loss they seemed to bewail. 'Tis therefore a more active sort of Compassion to which I would invite them; and yet for method sake, I shall consider it under two distinct Heads, Giving, and Forgiving. 5. By Giving, in this place, I mean not a general liberality, (though that prudently bounded, is an Excellence well becoming Persons of Fortune) but only such a Giving as terminates upon the needy, and is applied to succour their indigencies. To give to those from whom they may expect returns, may be a design, but at the best can be but generosity and frankness of humour. 'Tis only than mercy (as Christ Himself has defined it) when it is to those from whom they can hope for nothing again. 6. And in this Virtue women have in forme●… Ages eminently excelled, yea so essential was it, that we find Solomon thought not their characte●… complete without it, but numbers it among the properties of his Virtuous Woman, Prov. 31. 20. She stretcheth forth her hand to the poor, & reacheth her hand to the needy. And it is a little observable, that after he has described her Industry and Diligence for the acquiring of Wealth, this is se●… in the front of her disbursments, as the principa●… use she made of it; and precedes her providing Scarlet for her Household, or fine Linen and Purple for herself, v. 21, 22. The application is very obvions, and admonishes all that own the same Title of Virtuous Women, to prefer the necessities of others before their own superfluities and delicacies. Nay, if they look farther; and consider who it is that is personated in the poor, that begs in every needy distressed suppliant, and that will finally own every act of mercy as don to himself: methinks they should sometimes think fit to sacrifice even their most moderate enjoiments to their charity; be ashamed to serve themselves before their Saviour, or let him stand naked and hungry, whilst they are solacing with that which would relieve him. 7. But how then shall they answer it, who suffer him to be supplanted, not by their needs, but excesses; who have so devoted their hearts and purses to vanity and luxury, that they have neither will nor power to succour the wants of others? How unequal and disproportionate is it, that those who study to fling away money upon themselves, cannot be tempted by any opportunity and distress, to drop an alms to the poor? What a preposterous sight is it to see a Lady, whose gay Attire gives her the glittering of the Sun, yet have nothing of its other properties, never to cheer any drooping, languishing creature by her influence? 'Tis the counsel of the son of Sirach, not to give the poor any occasion to curse thee. Ecclus. 4. 5. But sure such persons do it, if the poor happen not to have more Charity than they exemplify to them. For when they shall find such ha●…d hearts under such soft raiment, see them bestow so much upon the decking their own bodies, and do nothing towards the necessary support of theirs; 'tis a shrewd trial of their Meekness. Poverty is apt of itself to embitter the spirit, and needs not such an additional temptation. 8. Nay farther, when a poor starving wretch shall look upon one of these gay creatures, and see that any one of the baubles, the losest appendage of her dress; a fan, a busk, perhaps a black patch, bears a price that would warm his emty bowels; will he not have sharp incitations not only to execrate her pride, and his own poverty, but consequently to repine at the unequal distribution of Providence, and add sin to his misery? The denial therefore of an alms may be a double cruelty, to the soul as well as to the body. 'Tis said of Xenocrates, that a chased Bird flying to his bosom, he rescued it with much satisfaction, saying he had not betrayed a suppliant; but this is in that case reversed, and in an higher instance; for what can be more the betraying of a suppliant, then instead of supplying his wants, to rob him of his innocence, and be his snare in lieu of his refuge? This is a consideration I wish more deeply impressed upon the women of this Age; and truly 'tis their concern it should be so; for since at the last day the inquest shall be so particular upon this very thing, 'tis but necessary they should examine how they are fitted to pass that test. 9 Let them therefore keep a preparatory audit within their own breast, reflect upon the expenses of their vanity, what the delicacy of their food, what the richness and variety of their clothes, nay what the mere hypocrisies of their dress, in false hair, and complexion has cost them; to which they may also add the charge of their recreations and divertisements, those costly arts of chase away that time, which they will one day wish to recall: let them I say compute all this, and then confront to it the account of their charity, and I much fear the latter will with many of them be comparatively as undiscernible, as Socrates found Alcibiades' lands in the Map of the whole world, be so perfectly overwhelmed, that it will appear little in their own sight and nothing in Gods. 10. For if the poor Widow's mite acquired a valu merely from her poverty, that she had no more; by the rule of contraries we may conclude, how despicable the scanty oblations of the rich are in God's account. If even their liberality who gave much, was outvied by a farthing, Mar. 12. 41- to what point of diminution must their niggardly offerings, who give little, be reduced? especially when they shall be compared with the numerous and costly sacrifices they make to pride and luxury; nay I wish some were not guilty of more than the disproportion, even the total omission of charity, that in a multitude of Tailor's bills cannot produce the account of one Garment for the poor, that amidst the delicacies of their own diet (nay perhaps of their dogs too) never order●…d so much as the crumbs of their Table to any hungry Lazarus. But let all such remember, that there will come a time, when one of Tabitha's coats Acts 9 39 will be of more valu than all their richest Wardrobes, though they could number Gowns with Lucullus' Cloaks, which the Roman Story reports to be 5000, and that when their luxurious fare shall only feast the worms, and render them passive in that Epicurism they acted before, they will wish they had made the bellies of the poor their refectory, and by feeding them nourished themselves to immortality. 11. Let this I say be seriously remembered now, l●…st hereafter they fall under the same exprobrating remembrance with the rich man in the Gospel, Luke 16. 25. Remember that thou in thy life time receivedst thy good things, and Lazarus that which was evil, but now he is comforted and thou a●…t tormented. A Text which St. Gregory professes was ever sounding in his ears, and made him look with suspicion and dread upon that grandeur to which he was advanced, as fearing it might be designed as his final reward. With what terror then may those look upon their present good things, who by ingrossingthem wholly to themselves, own them as their entire portion, and implicitly disclaim their share of the future? For to that none must pretend, who receive their transitory goods under any other notion, then that of a Steward or Factor: as we may see in the parable of the Talents, where those that had the reward of the five and ten Cities were not such as had consumed their Talents upon their own riot and excesses, but suchas had industriouslyemploied them according to the design of their Lord: and if it there fared so ill with the mere unprofitable servant, who had hoarded up his Talon, what shall become of those, who squander away theirs, and can give no account either of use or principal? 12. Were these considerations duly laid to heart, we might hope to see some of the primitive charity revive, when women of the highest rank converted their ornaments and costly deckings into clothing for the poor, and thought no retinue so desirable, so honourable as a train of Alms-folks: but I speak improperly, when I make the poor their attendants, for indeed they rather attended the poor, did not only order the supply of their wants, but were themselves their ministers, waited about their sick beds, dressed their most loathsome ulcers, and descended to all the most servile offices about them. 13. But these were such heights, such transcendendies of mercy, as required a deeper foundation of humility than will now be often met with: yet let me take the occasion to say, that it may be a good managery of a charity to act (as far as they can) personally in it. For besides that it prevents some abuses and frauds, which deputed agents may sometimes be tempted to; they pay God a double tribute in it, of their persons as well as their fortunes; next they▪ bring themselves into acquaintance with the poor, and by that means correct those contemts and nice disdains, which their own prosperity is too apt to create farther yet, they excite their own compassion, which being a motion of the sensitive part of the mind, cannot be stirred so effectually by any thing, as by the presence of the object, the most pathetic tragical description of a distress, being not able to affect us half so much as one ocular demonstration. Lastly 'tis an apt means to increase their thankfulness to Almighty God, whose bounty to themselves must needs make a deeper impression, when 'tis compared with the necessito us condition of others: for things are best illustrated by their contraries, and 'tis too observable in our depraved nature, that we valu not things by their real positive worth, but comparatively as they excel others, nor ever make a right estimate of what we enjoy, till our own or others wants instruct us. 14. Upon all these considerations it may be a very becoming useful circumstance in any charitable ministry to be themselves the actors; and to that end 'twill be a very commendable industry to qualify themselves to be helpful to the poor in as many instances as they can; not only opening their purses, but dispensatories too, providing medecines for such as either by disease, or casualty want that sort of relief. A charity which I doubt not is practised by many, and I wish it were by more, that our nicer Dames who study only Cosmetics for themselves, would change the Scene, & instead of repairing or disguising their own complexions, study the restauration of their decrepit patients limbs. And sure though it be a less fashionable, 'tis a much better sight, to see a Lady binding up a sore, then painting her face; and she will cast a much sweeter savour in God's nostrils, with the smell of unguents and balsams, then with the most exquisite odours and perfumes. For since God professes Esay 1. that that very incense which was designed as a part of his worship, was an abomination to him, because not accompanied with the acts of Mercy, we cannot think he will better like of those, which have no higher aim than delicacy and sensuality. 15. But besides this part of mercy in giving, there is another, that of forgiving; which may happen to be of a larger extent than the former: for whereas that was confined to the poor, this has no such limits, but as it is possible to be injured by persons of all ranks, so this pardoning mercy is to reach equally with that possibility. This is that part of Charity which we peculiarly call Clemency, a Virtue which not only Christianity but Morality recommends. The Ancient Romans had it in such veneration, that they numbered it not only among Virtues but Deities, and built it a Temple: and they were somewhat towards the right in it, for it was, though not God, yet so eminent an attribute of his, that nothing can more assimilate man unto him. 16. There are many Heroic acts of this kind to be met with among the virtuous Hethens. Lycurgus not only forgave Alcander who had struck out his eye, but entertained him in his house, and by his gentle admonitions reclaimed him from his former vicious life. Aristides being after signal services and without crime, unjustly banished by his Citizens, was so far from acting or imprecating against them, that at his departure from Athens he solemnly prayed the Gods, that they might never by any trouble or distress be forced to recall him. So Photion being unjustly condemned, left it as a solemn charge to his son Phocas, that he should never revenge his death. A multitude of the like examples might be produced, but we need not borrow light from their faint Tapers, when we have the Sun beams, I mean the Sun of righteousness our blessed Saviour, who as he has recommended this grace by his precept, so he has signally exemplified it to us in his practice; the whole design of his descent to earth being only to rescu his enemies from destruction, and as every part of his life, so the last Scene of it was particularly adapted to this end, and his expiring breath expended in mediating for his crucifiers; father forgive them, Luk. 23. 34. And this copy of his was transcribed by his first followers, the Primitive Christians in their severest Martyrdoms praying for their persecutors. 17. Thus are we in the Apostles phrase compassed about with a cloud of witnesses, Heb. 12. 1. of eminent examples, which ought to have a forcible influence upon all, but methinks should not fail to have it on that Sex, whose native tenderness predisposes them to the Virtue, and who need but swim with the stream of their own inclinations. How can we think that their melting eyes should ever sparkle fire, or delight in spectacles of cruelty, that their flexible tender hearts should turn into Steel or Adamant, be uncapable of all impressions of pity? Yet God knows such changes have too often been seen: women have not only put off that softness peculiar to them, but the common instincts of humanity, and have exceeded not only savage men, but beasts in cruelty. There have been too frequent instances of the implacable malice, and insatiable cruelties of women: I need not call in the aid of Poetic fiction and tell them of Clytaemnestra, Medea, or the Belides, with hundreds of others, celebrated as instances of Heroic wickedness. There are examples enough in more authenticStories, The Roman Tullia, the Persian Parysatis; and that we may not pass by the sacred Annals, Jezebel, and Athalia. I forbear to multiplyexamples of this kind, of which all ages have produced some so eminent, as have rendered it a common observation, that no cruelty exceeds that of an exasperated woman: & it is not much to be wondered at, since nothing can be so ill in its pristine state as that which degenerates from a better. No enmity we know so bitter, as that of alienated friends; no such persecution as that of Apostats, and proportionably no such freity as that of a perverted mildness. So that the Poets were not much out, who as they represented the Graces under the figures of women, so the Furies too: and since 'tis in their election which part they will act, they ought to be very jealous over themselves. The declinations to any vice are gradual, sometimes at first scarce discernible; and probably the greatest monsters of cruelty, would at the beginning have detested those inhumanities' which afterwards they acted with greediness. 18. It concerns them therefore to ward those beginnings whose end may be so fatal. She that is quick in apprehending an affront perhaps will not be so quick in dismissing that apprehension; & if it be permitted to stay, 'twill quickly improve, twenty little circumstances shall besuborned to foment it with new suspicions, till at last it grow to a quarrel; from thence to hatred, from that to malice, and from that to revenge: and when that black passion has overspread the mind, like an Egyptian darkness it admits no gleam of reason or Religion, but hurries them blindfold to their own ruin often as well as others. 19 Let none think this only a fancy or scheme of Discourse: there have been too many tragical experiments of its truth: how many men have been mortally engaged upon no weightier original, than the spleen of a woman? the frantic notion of honour among our Duelists fitly corresponding with the as frantic impulses of feminine revenge, and any imaginary injury (or perhaps but just imputation) to the Lady, obliging her Gallant to rush upon the most real sin and danger. A madness something beyond that which the Romances describe of Knight Errantry; for that generally is for the relief of distressed Damsels, but this is only to humour the too prosperous ones, the insolent and the proud. Those therefore that have observed the common occasions of Duels, have not unfitly divided them between Wine and Women; it being hard to say which is the most intoxicating and besotting. The Son of Sirach couples them together, Ecclus. 19 2. Wine and Women will make men of understanding fall away. The many modern examples of this mischief, as it should strike an extreme terror into those Women who have been any way accessary to the death, or but danger of any man; so it is just matter of caution to all, so to regulate their Passions, that they never come within distance of implacability; for if once they arrive there, themselves can give no stop. 20. In order to this, 'twill be well to consider at the first incitation, what the real ground is; perhaps sometimes they are angry (as the Galatians were at St. Paul, Gal. 4. 16.) at those that tell them the Truth; some scandalous, or at least suspicious behaviour, may have engaged a friend to admonish them; (an office that has sometimes proved very fatal; those commonly that have most guilt having less patience to hear of it.) And if this be the cause, 'tis the greatest injustice in the world to make that a quarrel which is really an obligation: and therefore instead of maligning thei●… Monitor, they ought to thank and reverence him. Nay, though the accusation be not with that candi●… design, but be meant as a reproach; yet if it b●… true, it should not excite anger at their accusers▪ but remorse, and reformation in themselves. 21. It was the saying of a Wiseman, that h●… profited more by his enemies then his friends because they would tell him more roundly of hi●… faults: and this is excellently improved by Plutarch, in his Tract, Of the benefits to be reap'●… from Enemies: so that even a malicious accusation may be a kindness, and consequently oug●… not to be repaid with an injury. But suppo●… in the last place, that the aspersion be not onl●… unkind, but untru, it will not even then be safe t●… let loose to their indignation: first, in respect●… Prudence, an angry vindication serving the d●… sign of the enemy, and helping to spread the c●… lumny; whereas a wise neglect and dissembli●… does often stifle and suppress it. Secondly, respect of duty, for all that own themselves Ch●… stians, must confess they are under an obligati●… to forgive, and not to revenge. Now if they i●… tend to pay a real obedience to this Precept, 'tw●… be the more easy, the sooner they set to it. He th●… sees his house on fire, will not dally with the flam●… much less blow, or extend it, resolving to quen●… it at last. And anger is as little to be truste●… which if once throughly kindled, will scarce expire but with the destruction of the subject it works on. 22. Let therefore the disobliged not look back upon the injury, but forward to those mischiefs which too sharp a resentment may betray them to: let them consider, that the boiling of their blood may finally cause the effusion of another's, and wrath may swell into murder. If they would do thus, and instead of those magnifying optics wherein they view the wrong, make use of the other end of the perspective, to discern the dismal event at distance; it would sure fright them from any nearer approach, would keep them within those bounds which their duty prescribes them; and thereby acquaint them with a much greater, and more ingenious pleasure than their highest revenge can giv●… them; I mean that of forgiving injuries, and obliging the injurious. This is a pleasure so pure and refined, so noble and heroic, that none but rational natures are capable of it; whereas that of spite and revenge (if it can be called a pleasure) is a mere bestial one; every the most contemptible animal can be angry when 'tis molested, and endeavour to return the mischief. 23. It should therefore, methinks, be an easy determination, whether to embrace that clemency and compassion which we see exemplified in the wisest and best of men, nay in the Omniscient, Immortal God, or that savage fierceness of the ignoblest creatures. This is certain, that no woman would be content toassume the outward form of any of those; why then should they subject their nobler part, the mind, to such a transformation? For, as there are no monsters so deformed, as those which are compounded of man and beast: so among them all, nothing can be more unnatural, more odious, than a woman-Tiger. I conclude all with the advice of Solomon, Prov. 17. 14. The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention before it be meddled with. When once a breach is made upon the spirit by immoderate anger, all the consequent mischiefs will flow in, like a rapid stream when the banks are broken down; nor is there any way to prevent it, but by keeping the bounds entire, preserving that tenderness and compassion which God and Nature do equally enforce and recommend. SECT. IV. Of Affability. 1. IN the next place we may reckon Affability and Courtesy, which as it is amiable in all, so it is singularly so in women of Quality, and more universally necessary in them then in the other Sex; for men have often charges and employments which do justify, nay perhaps require somewhat of sternness and austerity; but women ordinarily have few or no occasions of it, and those who havewell digested the former Lectures of Meekness and Compassion; will not be apt to put it on unnecessarily. Now Affability may b●… considered either as a mere human Accomplishment, or as a divine Virtue; in either notion 'tis commendable; but 'tis the latter that gives it the highest Excellence and Perfection. 2. To begin with the first notion of it, we may take an estimate of its worth by its Cause, and by its Effects. For its Cause, it derives itself either from a native candour, and generosity of mind; or from a noble and ingenious Education, or something jointly from both; and these are as good originals as any thing merely moral can flow from. And that these are indeed its sources; common▪ experience will attest: those of the greatest Minds, & best Extractions, being usually most condescending and obliging; whereas those of most abject Spirits and Birth, are the most insulting and imperious. Alexander the Great, though terrible in the field, yet was of a gentle, compla●…sant conversation, familiarly treating those about him: yet Crispinus, Narcissus, Nymphidius, and other enfranchised bondmen, we find insolently trampling upon the Roman Senators and Consuls. 'Tis therefore a great error for Persons of Honour, to think they acquire a reverence by putting on a supercilious gravity, looking coily and disdainfully upon all about them; 'tis so far from that, that it gives a suspicion that 'tis but a pageantry of greatness, some mushroom newly sprung up, that stands so stiff, and swells so much. But instead of teaching others to keep their distance, this fastidious d●…in invites them to a closer inspection, that if there be any flaw either in their life or birth, 'twill be sure to be discovered, there being no such prying inquisitor as curiosity, when 'tis eggd on by a sense of contemt. 3. On the other side, if we consider the effects of Courtesy, they are quite contrary; it endears to all, and often keeps up a Reputation in spite of many blemishes: a kind look or word from a Superior, is strangely charming, and insensibly steals away men's hearts from them. This the Wise man refers to Ecclus. 18. 16. when he prefers a Word before a Gift. And 'tis Plutarch's observation of Cleomenes King of Sparta, that when the Grecians compared his Affability and easiness of Access with the sullen state and pride of other Princes, they were so enamoured with it, that they judged him only worthy to be a King. And as their is no certainer, so also no cheaper way of gaining love: a friendly salutation is as easy as a frown or reproach; and that kindness may be preserved by them, which if once forfeited, will not at a far greater price be recovered. 4. Besides, when human vicissitudes are considered, it may be a point of Providence too; the greatest Persons may sometimes want assistance from the meanest; nay sometimes the face of affairs is quite changed, and the wheel of Fortune turns them lowest that were uppermost, and proportionably elevates the meanest. 'Tis wisdom therefore so to treat all, as to leave no impressions of unkindness, since none is so despicable, but may possibly at one time or other have an opportunity to retaliate. 'twas therefore a prudent as well as an equitable resolution of the Emperor, who said he would so entertain the addresses of his Subjects; as, if he were a Subject, he would wish the Prince should entertain him. A rule very worthy to sway all Persons of Honour in their intercourse with others. And since even among Persons in Command there are degrees, and she which is superior to one, is inferior to another; they have a ready way to compare the civility they pay, with that they expect. Let therefore one who meets with a cold, neglectful Treatment from any above her, examine her own resentments, and then reflect, that if she give the like to those below her, they will doubtless have the same sense; and therefore let her resolve never to offer what she so much dislikes to bear: and she that does thus, that makes such inferences, will convert an injury into a benefit; civilize herself by the rudeness of others, and make that ill nurture her own discipline. 5. But hitherto we consider Affability only in its ethnic dress, as it is a human ornament; 'twill appear yet more enamoring upon a second view, when we look on it as bearing the impress of the Sanctuary, as a divine Virtue. And that it is capable of being so, we have the authority of St. Paul, who inserts it in the number of those Christian Graces which he recommends to his Roman Proselytes; condescend to them of low estate, Rom. 12. 16. and that we may the better discern its valu, 'tis observable that he links it with the most eminent Virtue of Humility; for it immediately follows his Precept of be not high minded. Indeed 'tis not only joined with it as a Friend or Ally, but derived from it as its stock and Principle: and certainly a more divine extraction it cannot have, Humility being the Alpha and Omega of Virtues, that which lays the foundation, (without which the most towering Structure will but crush itself with its own weight) and that which perfects and consummates the building also, secures and crowns all other Graces; which when they are most verdant●… and flourishing, are like Ionas his gourd, that may afford some shadow and refreshment for a while, but are apt to breed that worm which will destroy them. When once they are smitten with Pride, they instantly fade and wither; so necessary is humility both for the acquiring and conserving, all that is good in us. 6. We may therefore conclude; that courtesy and obligingness of behaviour which proceeds thence, is in respect of its spring and original, infinitely to be preferred before that which descends from no higher stock then natural or prudential motives; and since 'tis natural for every production to have some similitude to that which produces it, we shall find it no less excellent in respect of its properties then its descent, I shall instance only in two, Sincerity and Constancy. 7. For the first as far as Affability partakes of Humility it must of Sincerity also, that being a virtue whose very elements are plainness and simplicity: for as it has no designs which want a cover, so it needs none of those subtleties and simulations, those pretences and artifices requisite to those that do. 'tis the precept of the Apostle, Phil. 2. 3. In lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself, where we see 'tis the nature of a lowly mind to transfer that esteem to others which he substracts from himself: how where such an esteem is planted into the heart, it verifies all the expressions and outward significations of respect, and renders the greatest condescensions (which to an insolent humour may seem extravagant and affected) real and unfeigned. 8. On the contrary that courtesy which derives no higher than from mere human principles, is not much to be confided in. 'Tis the Psalmists affirmation that all men are liars. And therefore there is more than a possibility of deceit in their fairest shows. Sometimes we know smooth & plausible addresses have been designed as the stale to vile and treacherous practices. The extraordinary blandishments and endearing behaviour of Absolom to the people, was only to steal their hearts, and advance his intended rebellion, 2 Sam. 15. and David tells us of some, whose words were softer than butter, having war in the heart, whose words were smother than oil, and yet were very swords, Psal. 55. 21. and God knows this age has not so much improved in sincerity, that we should think the same Scenes are not daily acted over among us. 9 But besides all the blacker projects of this kind, which nothingbut the event can detect, there is a lower sort of this treachery, which is visible, nay so avowed, that it is one of the most common subjects of mirth and entertainment, I mean that of scoffing and derision, a thing too frequent among all, but I fear I may say very peculiarly so among Ladies, those at least of the modish sort, their very civilities and caresses, being often designed to gain matter of scorn and laughter. Mutual visits we know are an expression of respect, and should flow from a real kindness, but if those now in use br sifted, how few will be found of that make? They are at the best formal, a tribute rather paid to custom then friendship, and many go to see those, for whom they are perfectly indifferent whether they find them alive or dead, well or sick. Nay very often they are worse than thus, designed only to make observations, to bolt out something ridiculous wherewith to sport themselves as soon as they are gone; and lest the inquest should return with a non inventus, they will accept of the slightest discoveries, the least misplacing of a word, nay of a hair shall be theme enough for a Comedy. 10. But if a poor Country Gentlewoman fall within their circuit, what a stock of mirth does she afford them, how curiously do they anatomise every part of her dress, her mien, her dialect, nay perhaps to improve the Scene, will recommend yet greater absurdities to her, under the notion of the mode, that so she may be the more ample subject of their scorn. Such visits as these are but insidious intrusions, the insinuations of a spy rather than the good office of a neighbour; and when 'tis remembered how great a portion of some women's time is spent in this kind of diversion, we must conclude there have a multitude of acts gone to make up the habit. I wish they would seriously reflect on it, and unravel that injurious mirth by a penitential sadness, and either spend their time better than in visiting, or else direct their visits to better purposes: and this they would certainly do if they would exchange their mere popular civilities (that kind of paint and varnishing manners) for that tr●… Christian condescension; which admits of no dece●…, but is as transparent as Drusus wished his house ●…ld be, that has no secret screws and spring, to move the eyes or tongue a contrary way from the heart, but is in reality all that it pretends to be. 11. A second property of it is Constancy, for as it is true to others, so it is to its self; 'tis foundid on the solidest of virtues, and is not subject to those light and giddy uncertainties, that the vulgar civilities are. For he that out of a disesteem of his proper worth, has placed himself in a state of inferiority, will think it not an arbitrary matter, but a just debt to pay a respect to those he thinks his betters; and an humble mind will in every body find something or other to prefer to himself. So that he acts upon a fixed principle, and is not in danger of those contradictions in his manners, which shall render him one day sweet and affable, and another sour and morose. But such mutations are frequently incident to those who are swayed by other motives, sometimes an interest changes, and then the most fawning Sycophant can transplant his flatteries, and court a new Patron; yea many times to the despite and vilifying of the old. 12. Sometimes again, fortune may change; a man may fall from a prosperous to an adverse state, and then those who were prodigal of their civilities whilst he needed nothing else, will withdraw even those from him, lest they should encourage him to demand something more; an experiment of this Job made in his friends (or rather flatterers) whom he fitly compares to winter brooks, running over when not needed, but quite dry when they are. 13. But the most frequent change is that of fancy and humour, which has a much more general sway than reason and judgement. This is so observable in the vulgar rabble, that often in an instant they will shift passions, and hate this hour what they doted on the last. Of this all popular states, have afforded many costly experiments, but we need not go farther than the sacred Story, where we find the Acclamations and hosannah's of the multitude, quickly converted into crucify him, crucify him. This levity of mind has been observed so incident to women, that 'tis become almost proverbial; for by how much their passions are more violent, they are commonly the less lasting, and as they are reckoned among those colder bodies that are particularly influenced by the Moon, so they seem to bear a great resemblance to her in her vicissitudes and changes; yet still with a greater degree of uncertainty, for she in all her revolutions observes some constant periods, and we can tell in her wain when she will be at full, so that she has a kind of certainty even in her planetary errors; but what Ephemerideses can be framed for some women's humours? who can tell how long the present will last? and what will be the next that will succeed? 14. I need not bring instances of their inconstancy from that common place of passionate widows, whohave let a newlove sail even through those floods of tears wherewith they bewailed the old: for (besides that that is a case wherein possibly they may find matter enough for retortion) it is here a little wide from my purpose, which designs no farther inquisition then into their ordinary conversation, wherein that love o●… variety which is so remarkable in their habit, their diet, their diversions, extends itself often to their company, their friendships also and converse. Those intimacies which they cherished lately, quickly grow despicable, and at last nauseous, and consequently their behaviour falls from kind and civil, to cold and disdainful. I doubt not this has often been proved by many of those humble companions, which officiously attend them, who cannot alwaiesfix themselves, no notby those flatteries that first introduced them; some new comer perhaps has better refined the Art, and does the same thing more acutely and ingeniously, and then the old one is to be turned off as too gross a Sycophant; or if they have been so happy as to light upon some of a more generous temper, who instead of a servile compliance with their humour, and high characters of their worth, entertain them with the true images of themselves, and endeavour to make what others only speak them, this is that unpardonable crime which forfeits all degrees of favour, and does not only avert, but incense. A faithful Monitor is as unacceptable as a true Looking-glass to a deformed person, which at the best will be set aside, and escapes well if not broken; and while great persons dispense their favours or their frowns by such perverse mesures as these, they will be sure to do it unjustly, as well as unconstantly. 15. I am far from making this an universal charge, I know there are women of the highest quality, that guide themselves by other rules, that are deaf to all the songs of Sirens, and have the prudence to valu a seasonable reproof before the most extravagant Panegyric; but this is owing to that humility which I am now recommending, without which 'tis as impossible for greatness to be proof against flattery, as it is for a Pinnace with spreading sails, and a violent gust of wind, to sail steadily without ballast. And the frequent want of this is it which makes it no less frequent ●…o see those unevennesses and inequalities in be●…avior; those partialities in dispensing even the ●…ommonest civilities, which I have now repre●…ented. 16. And sure 'tis none of the meanest attri●…utes due to that excellent virtue of humility that ●…t can thus fix and poise the mind, cure those ver●…igoes and giddy humours, incident to those who ●…re mounted aloft: and above all that it is a sure Antidote against the most insinuating poison of flattery, a holy spell or amulet against the venom of a Parasite, which the Philosopher justly calls the worst of tame beasts, as a Detractor is of wild: He being indeed a kind of vulture, in the way of seizure, noless than ravine, who firstpicksout the eyes of that which he designs to prey upon; suffering not the person concerned, to see any thing of that destruction which he is to feel. And certainly none of the ominous Birds, no night-Raven or screech-owl can abode half so dismally as these domestic Birds of prey, which are not only presages, but instruments of ruin wheresoever they haunt. 17. 'Tis therefore the universal concern o●… those that are great and prosperous, to chase them away, as Abraham did the Fowls from his Sacri 〈◊〉, Gen. 15. 11. but yet more peculiarly so o●… those to whom fortune hasgiven a sudden rise, and unexpected grandeur, they being of all others th●… most obnoxious to this sort of Harpies. The surprises of prosperity do no less disturb the judgement than those of adversity: and as one who i●… in an instant snatched up to some high Tower, is s●… amazed to see himself there, that he has no ju●… measure of the altitude, but thinks every thin●… farther below him than it is: so they that ascen●… to greatness by swift and rapid motions, hav●… their heads so turned that they are apt to over▪ valu it; and to look with contempt on those wh●… before perhaps they thought worth their envie●… And on a mind thus prepared, flattery may mak●… any impressions, it suborning even Providence as a witness on its side, and inferring from the Dignities obtained, the transcending merit of the obtainer. A piece of Sophistry which the slightest observer may easily confute, all Ages giving instances of those whose Vices have preferred them, and by a strange Chemistry have extracted Honour out of infamous acts. Yet to a mind possessed with its own admiration, this shall pass for a demonstration: so treacherous a thing is Pride, that it combines with all who design to cheat us: and indeed 'tis not only an accessary, but the principal; none being in danger by others flatteries, who are not first seduced by their own, 18. It will therefore be a point of Wisdom for all Persons of Honour to increase their caution with their fortune, and as they multiply their Retinues without, so especially to enforce their Guard within, that they become not slaves to their own Greatness, fix not themselves in such a posture of State, as to become immovable to all the offices of Humanity and Civility; nor think that their admission to Greatness is upon the same terms on which the Jews were wont to receive their Proselytes, that they must renounce all their former relations; but to remember that they differ no more from others then as a counter set in the place of thousands or hundreds, does from one set in the place of ten or units. A little transposition may quite alter the case; or however, when they are all taken off the score, they are then indiscriminatly tumbled together, and one has no precedence of another, either in place or valu. So undiscernible will be the difference between the greatest Queen, and the meanest Servant, when Death, that great Leveller, shall have mixed them; there will be no inquisition in the Grave who came embalmed, or perfumed thither. And, as a Learned man says, the Ulcers of Lazarus will make as good dust as the Paint of Jezebel. 19 But I shall be thought to have outrun my Subject, or instead of that amiable Image of Affability, and universal Obligingness, the great Ornament of Life, introduce the grim figure of Death, that sullen Executioner, whom no Gifts, no Prayers can mollify. Yet I cannot yield it wholly impertinent; for, as its final stroke cures all the infirmities of the body, so the foresight and contemplation of it is, as much a Catholicon for all the maladies of the mind; especially that of insolence and disdain. For sure they cannot much pride themselves in any exaltation, that remember they must finally fall into the dust: nor arrogantly despise others, who consider that themselves shall one day be insulted over by worms and infects. Such mental descents into the vault or charnel-house, are the best disciplines for the demeanour in other places, according to the admonition of the Wise man, Remember thy end, and thou shalt never do amiss. SECT. V. Of Piety. 1. LASTLY, To complete and crown all other Excellencies, nothing is so proper, so necessary as Piety and Devotion. This is the salt which seasons all Sacrifices; yea, the Altar which sanctifies the Gift, no good (how splendid soever in the sight of men) being acceptable to God, till it be thus consecrated, and have the seal of the Sanctuary upon it. This is a Virtue truly Divine, as well in its original as its end; for as it comes from Heaven, (is an afflation of the blessed Spirit) so it tends thither also, and thither raises its Votaries. This is it which sublimates and spiritualizes Humanity, defecates and refines it from all the dregs of morality; and so wings our earthly lumpish nature, that we can soar aloft to the region of Spirits, and by its raptures make some essay of that state of separation, even while we are linked to the body. This is it which combines us so with God, that we have the same interests, the same choices; nay it does in a sort communicate and interchange properties with him; the all-Powerful God seems impotent and unable to resist its influence, whilst it invests us feeble wretches in a kind of Omnipotence, by engaging him for us who can do all things. 2. Now this Piety may be considered either in a larger, or more limited sense: in the former 'tis as wide as the whole scheme of Duty, not confined to any one act, but extended to all the commands of God. For as the animal Spirit diffuses its self into all the most distant members of the body; so this more vital Principle has as universal an influence on the mind, stamps that with such an admiration and reverence of God, such a love and complacency in him, that every act is (at least habitually) designed to obey and glorify him. 3. In the more limited sense, Piety is taken for our more immediate intercourse with God, in things purely divine, as Adorations, Prayers, Aspirations, and all pant and breathe of the soul after him; and in this notion 'tis more particularly called Devotion. And this is comprehended it: the other, as a part in the whole; nay indeed, as an effect in its cause; for where Piety has not first form and modelled the soul, there can be no true Devotion. External forms of it there may be, but that is but ceremony and pageantry, the most submissive prostrations are there but like that of Dagon before the Ark, the fall of a liveless trunk; the most elevated eyes but a kind of convulsive motion; and the most rigid mortifications, but like the cuttings and lancings of Baal's Priests. Of this the very Heathen had some notion, and therefore in their worships had many preparatory ceremonies of lustration, and purifying, as being conscious of the incongruity, that unholy Persons should be admitted to Sacred things. And accordingly Socrates has excellently (I had almost said Evangelically) defined, the best way of worshipping God, to be the doing what he commands. Indeed without this, our Devotion is mere stratagem and design: we invoke God as we use to cajole men, only to serve a present turn; and of such disingenuous addresses, 'tis easy to read the event; or, if we cannot, Solomon will instruct us, Prov. 15. 8. The Prayers of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord. 4. To treat of the several branches of Piety in the first notion, is not agreeable to the intended brevity of this Treatise; nor necessary, because there are so many distinct Tracts extant on that Subject; yet I shall the more closely to adapt it to my female Readers, observe the propriety of it to women, not only as it is their greatest ornament and advantage, but especially as they have somewhat more of predisposition towards it in their native temper. God's Laws, which are the rule of Piety, have this common with men's, that they are enforced upon us by the proposalt both of punishments and rewards, by that means engaging two of our most sensible passions, Fear and Love; and the female Sex being eminent for the pungency of both these, they are consequently the better prepared for the impressions of Religion. 5. This is so much acknowledged, that our masculine Atheists make an ill use of it, and are willing to think that Religion owes its force only to the impotence of the subject on which it works, that 'tis only an imposition upon the easy credulity of women, and are content to allow them the enclosure of it; wherein, though they sufficiently show their contemt of Piety, yet they unawares give a greater honour to that Sex than they intent, whilst they confess it more capable of an assimilation to the supreme Goodness, and of the renewal of God's Image (for to that all Piety is designed) than their own. And therefore women have so little reason to be ashamed, that they ought to glory in the concession, and gratefully to celebrate the goodness of God to them, who, as he brings light out of darkness, so converts their natural infirmities into a means of spiritual strength, makes the impotencies and defects of their nature subservient to the operation of Grace; and by consecrating their very Passions, makes even those Gibeonites serviceable to the Tabernacle. But then 'tis to be remembered, that the greater is their obligation to comply with this design of Gods, to let their passions run in the channel he has cut for them; so to confine their Fear and Love to spiritual Objects, that they make no inordinate eruptions to any thing else, but in all their estimations of things dreadful or desirable, to give still the just deference to that which is eternal. 6. And, as Women in General have this advantage towards Piety, and obligation to it; so particularly those of Quality, who we may subpose to have generally a more early institution and instruction in it then those of a meaner rank: and besides, have afterwards more opportunities of being built up in the knowledge of their duty, and (by the help of an ingenious education) clearer apprehensions to discern it; and when they do so, have greater obligations to perform it, both in respect of God, of others, and themselves. 7. In respect of God they have the greatest tie of gratitude, not only for the common mercies which they partake with the rest of mankind, but for those peculiar, by which they are differenced from others; of which, if they want a just valu, let them ask themselves how willing they would be to part with them, how she that has fed delicately, would like to be desolate in the street, or she that has been brought up in Scarlet, to embrace the Dunghill, Lam. 4. 5. and according to the aversion they find to such a change, let them estimate their present enjoiment, and the thankfulness it exacts. 8. Secondly, in regard of others, their Piety backed with their secular advantages, may be of a more extensive benefit; they have many opportunities of doing good by their influence on others; or if no way else, yet the splendour of their example, will by the eminency of their conditions shine (as a light on some high Tower) more perspicuously, and guide many into the same path of Virtue. And certainly 'tis no small obligation that lies on them in this respect; for God, who does nothing without an end worthy of his wisdom, can never be thought to have selected some persons as the objects of his bounty, merely that they may swill and glut themselves with sensual pleasures. No doubtless, he who is the great Master of the universe, disposes all things for common benefit; and therefore, if He have placed some in an higher Orb than others, it is that they may have an auspicous influence on those below them; and if they fail in this, they are no longer Stars but Comets, things of ominous and unlucky abode to all about them. I might enlarge on this Subject, but having done it already in the Gentleman's Calling, I suppose it unnecessary, since that part is equally adapted to both Sexes. 9 In the last place, they have all obligation to Piety, in respect of themselves, and that in two considerations; the first, of their present danger; the second, of their final account. For their danger, 'tis evident they do not more outnumber their inferiors in any thing then in the opportunities, nay solicitations to sin. Weal●… and Honour have many snares, and which is worse, do often dispose the mind to such an heedless security, that it takes no care to avoid them: and as in the body, the diseases of repletion are fa●… more numerous than those of emtiness, so th●… mind is oftener vitiated by affluence and prosperity, then by indigence and adversity. It becomes therefore those who are so surrounded with enemies to fortify themselves: and that they can no way do, but by a sincere Piety, that whole Armour of God which the Apostle describes, Eph. 6. 13. by which alone they may repel all the darts of temtations; nay not only ward the blow, but wrest the weapon out of Satan's hand, so that when he urges to them the opportunities, the impunity which their wealth and greatness gives them to be bad, they may retort his Argument, & by a wholesomer inference collect thence their great obligation to be good, and that not only upon the score of gratitude (though that were enough to an ingenious soul) but in the second place of interest also, in respect of that account they must finally give. For though God be not an unjust exactor to reap where he has not sowed, yet he is not so negligently profuse, as to do that which no prudent man will do, scatter his goods promiscuously, without taking notice where they fall; but as he dispenses all things by particular providence, so he does it to a particular end, and will exact as particular an account how that end has been complied with. 10. It is a smart exprobration of Gods to Israel, Ezek, 16, 17, 18, 19 that she had sacrilegiously employed his silver and gold, his oil, his flower and honey which he had given her in the service of her Idols, by which as we may see he takes notice how we dispose of our temporal possessions, so it shows us how the indictment will proceedagainst all thosewho so pervert their use: with what confusion must they appear at the great Audit who can give no other account of their receipts, but that they consumed them upon their lusts, wagedwar against God with his own treasure, and been as well thiefs as rebels? What a Luciferian fall will they have from their honours, who have endeavoured to undermine Gods? thought themselves too great to pay him homage, and by their profane and vicious example, induced acontemt of him? In short what a retaliation of inversions will there then be? those that have turned God's grace into wantonness, converted his bounty into the fuel of their pride and luxury, shall then have their glory turn●…d into shame, their riots and excesses into the want of a drop of water, and shall retain nothing of their greatness, but the guilt, the grating remembrance of having abused those temporal blessings, which if well managed might have received them into everlasting habitations. How necessary then is it for all who have received so much upon account, to be often reflecting on it, examining what charges, the great owner has imposed upon so ample an income? what God requires of them for whom he hath done so much? And this is particularly the business of Piety, which in all the forementioned respects, is as the usefullest, so the noblest accomplishment of greatness 11. And such it hath been accounted till this profane Age of ours, which has removed all the boundaries of the former, reversed even the instincts of nature, and will not leave us so much of Religion as had the very worst of Heathens. For how erroneous soever their were in the choice of their Deities, they always honoured and reverenced those they chose, committed most of their enormities in obedience not in affront to them: did not assign the votaries as Jeroboam did his Priests of the meanest of the people, but thought themselves dignified by their service, but esteemed it an infamy not to be pious. But alas now we adays make other estimates, Religion is so abject so contemptible a thing, as is thought fit to influence none that are great either in parts or quality: and therefore though too many are willing to appropriate it to women, upon the first account, as the Gospel is the foolishness of preaching, 1 Cor. 1. 21. yet they make exceptions upon the latter, and are not willing to afford it any of the nobler Proselits even of that Sex. 12. I doubt not there are many Lectures read to such, to fortify them against all impressions of piety, to raise out the common notion of a God, & in order to that to depose his Vicegerent within them, discard their conscience, that unmannerly inmate, which is still speaking what they have no mind to hear, and will be apt sometimes to question their grand principle, and tell them they have souls. And truly 'tis no wonder if the abetters of Atheism take this course; for since they have no solid foundation of truth or reason, 'tis but necessary they support their Party by Authority; the countenance and applause of Great Persons, & God knows they have too much succeeded in the design. But, in the mean time, what security do they give for the truth of their pretensions? We know 'tis still required of those that will practise upon other people's concerns, that they put in caution to secure the owner from damage, But alas, what gage can they give for a soul? Who can contrive a form of Indemnity where that is the thing hazarded? 13. 'Tis easy indeed for one of these Apostles of Satan, to tell a Lady that she has nothing to do but to indulge to her pleasure; that 'tis the extremest folly to be frighted from a present enjoiment, by a fear of I know not what future smart; that God, and Sin, and Hell, are but names, certain Mormos' and Bug-bears conjured up by Divines, to work upon her fear, and abuse her crudelity. This, and much more of this kind may be said, and I doubt often is; but all this while the question is begged, and a strong affirmation must pass for proof: for I defy all the Doctors of Atheism to make any demonstration of their Tenet; and yet, though they pretend to no Demonstration themselves, Religion must be condemned merely for the want of it: that is for not making spiritual things liable to sense, for distinguishing between belief and science; which is indeed for doing the most reasonable thing in the world, viz. the remitting every object to the trial of its proper faculty: and they who suspect it upon that account, may by the same kind of Logic wrangle us out of all our senses, may persuade us we hear nothing because the eye discerns not sounds, that we taste not, because the ear understands not gusts and ●…apors, and so on to the rest. 14. And yet this is the bottom of those Arguments which the great pretenders to reason make against Religion, and in the mean time have so little ingenuity as to exclaim on the light credulity of fools and women, that embrace the dictates of faith, whilst the same instant they exact a more implicit assent to their negative Articles, their no Religion. A strange magisterial confidence so to impose on this Age, what is so universally contradictory to all former, and to the common verdict▪ of mankind. For 'tis observable through all the successions of men, that there were never any society, any collective body of Atheists; a s●…gle one perhaps might here and there be found (as we sometimes see monsters or misshapen births) but for the generality they had always such instincts of a D●…ety, that they never thought they ran far enough from Atheism; but rather choose to multiply their Gods, to have too many than none at all: nay were apt to descend to the adoration of things below themselves, rather than to renounce the power above them. By which we may see that the notion of a God is the most indelible character of natural reason, and therefore whatever pretence our Atheists make to ratioci●…ation and deep discourse, it is none of that primitive fundamental reason coetaneous with our humanity; but is indeed a reason fit only for those who own themselves like the beasts that perish. 15. But admit we could be more bountiful to them, and allow their opinion an equal probability with our Faith, yet even this could never justify any body in point of prudence, that should adhere to them. Common discretion teaches us that where two propositionshave an equal appearance of truth, there is no rational inducement to prefer one before the other, till we have examined the consequences, and find something in the one which may over-poise and outweigh the contrary. Now in all things that concern practice, there are no motives so considerable, either to invite or avert, as advantage or danger. 16. Let us apply this to the present case, and examine the pretensions of the Atheist and the Christian in both respects. But first we are to remember, that both advantage and danger are to be viewed under a double notion, either as present or as future. The former is the Atheists most proper subject, and indeed all he can pertinently speak to, who professes himself only a man of this world. Here he will tell us that the disbelief of God and another life, is the great enfranchiser of mankind, sets us at liberty from that thraldom, those Bonds wherewith our superstitious fears had fettered us, that it supersedes all those nice and perplexing inquiries of lawful and unlawful, and reduces all our inquisitions only to this one, how we shall most please ourselves. The glutton need not put a knife to his throat, but is only to put an edge upon his Palate. The drunkard need not refrain his cups, but only take care that the be filled with the most delicious liquor. The wa●…on need not pull out his eye, but only cont●…ve to possess what that temts him to desire●… and in a word none of our appetites need ●…e restrained, but satisfied. And this uncontrol●… licentiousness, this brutish liberty, is that su●…mum bonum, that supreme happiness which they propose to themselves, and to which they invite others. 17. On the other side the Christian is not without his claim to a present advantage, though of a far differing n●…ture: he is not so preposterous as to think it a preferment to sink below his kind; to aspire to an assimilation with mere animals, which is the utmost the former amounts to, but he proposes to himself the satisfaction of a man●…; those delights which may entertain his reason not his sense; which consist in the rectitude of a well informed mind. His Religion is the perfectest Scheme of Morality, and makes him a Philosopher without the help of the Schools, it teaches him the art of subduing his appetites, calming his passions, and in a word makes him Lord of himself; and by that gives him all the pleasures which result from such a sovereignty, Nor is he totally void even of the pleasures of sense, which in many instances are greater to him then to those that most court them. Temperance cooks his coursest diet to a greater gust, than all their studied mixtures; chastity makes one lawful embrace more grateful to him, than all the nauseating variety of their unbounded lusts; and contentment swells 〈◊〉 mite into a talon, makes him richer than the Ind●… would do if he desired beyond them. Nor is it a ●…ntemtible benefit that his moderation gives him 〈◊〉 immunity from those sensitive pains which oft bring up the rear of inordinate sensual pleasures. So that his condition even set in the worst light in that very particular wherein the Atheist most triumphs over him, is not so deplorable as 'tis represented. 18. But if it were, he has pleasures that would infinitely overwhelm that smart, and that not only in his reason (as hath been said before) but in his more sublime diviner part, such irradiations from above, such antepasts of his future bliss, such acquiescence in a calm & serene conscience, as isvery cheaply bought with all he can suffer here. I know the profane laugh at these things as Chimeras and the illusions of a prepossessed fancy (& truly if they were so, they mightyetcome in balance with many of their pleasures which are as much owing to opinion and imagination:) but if we consider what supports they have given under the heaviest pressures, how they enabled the primitive Martyrs, not only to suffer, but even to court all that is formidable to humane nature, we cannot think that a mere fantastic imaginary joy could deceive the sense of such real, such acute torments. And though in this great declination of zeal, there be perhaps few that can pretend to those higher degrees of spiritual raptures, yet certainly were the votes of all devout persons collected, they would all concur in this testimony, that even in the common offices of Piety, the ordinary discharge of a good conscience, there is an infinitely greater complacence, a higher gust and relish then in all the pleasures of sense. But of this the most irrefragable witnesses are those who from great voluptuaries have turned devotes, and I dare appeal to their experience, whether of the two states is the most pleasant. I wish those who will not believe this on others words, would themselves make the trial, and till they do so they are notoriously unjust to pronounce that a fiction, of whose reality they refuse to make proof. 19 By what hath been said, some estimate may be made which bids fairest) the Atheist or Christian) as to present temporal felicity: but alas what an allay, what a damp is it to felicity to say 'tis themporal, yet we may give it a term below that, and say 'tis momentary. For since our life is so, nothing that depends on that can be otherwise, and yet in this shallow bottom the irreligious embark their all. For, as to all future advantage, 'tis their Principle to disclaim it, they discer●… no reward for blameless souls, Wisd. 2. 22. So that in this particular the Christian does not compare with, but triumph over them. He knows that if his earthly house of this Tabernacle be dissolved, he hath a building of God; an House not made with hands, eternal in the Heavens, 2 Cor. 5. 1. That when he parts with his life, he does not resign his happiness, but shall receive it infinitely improved both in degree and duration. And now certainly 'tis visible enough which opinion proposes the fairer hopes, and consequently which (supposing but an equal probability of truth) is the most inviting. 20. But some spirits there are so ignoble, that the most glorious Prize cannot animate them; that like a swine, the muscles of whose eyes, they say, permit him not to look upwards, is not concerned in all the felicities above, but would at a venture resign his share in those, so he may securely enjoy his husk and draff. But yet even these who are uncapable of the more generous resentments, may be apt enough to the more servile; and danger may fright, though glory cannot allure them. It concerns such therefore to compare the mischiefs which each Opinion threatens to their opposites, and from thence make an estimate which is safest to be chosen. And here let the Atheist himself cast up the account of the dangers consequent to Christianity, and it can all amount but to this, the deprivation (or rather moderation) of some present sensual pleasures, or the incurring of some present sensitive pains; the former in the daily exercise of Temperance, and mortification; the latter, (more rarely and ostner in purpose then act) the suffering for Righteousness sake. And both these the Christian balances, nay outweighs by two more important present hazards on the other side. To the former, he opposes the danger of being enslaved to the brutish part of a man's self, a thing so deplorable even in the judgement of humanity, that all Writers of Ethics have uniformly declared no servility to be so sordid and intolerable as that of the vicious man to his Passions and Lusts. To the latter, he confronts the mischief of being a slave to every man else; for such he certainly is, whom the fear of suffering can baff●…e outof any thing he thinks just and honest. For if all the men in the World could successively have the power to afflict him, they wouldalso have to command and rule him; and what can be more abject, more below the dignity of human nature, then to have a spirit always prepared for such a servitude? Besides, even the utmost sufferings which Christianity can at any time require, is outvied daily by the effects of luxury and rage; and for one that has opportunity to be a Martyr for his God thousands become so to their Vices. 21. If from the present we look forward to futuredangers, the Atheist must here be perfectly silent; he cannot say that the Christian after this life shall be in any worse estate than himself, since he concludes they shall both be the same nothing. But the Christian threatens him with a more dismal state, he allows him indeed a being, yea an eternal one; but it is only such as qualifies him for a misery as eternal; the worm that never dies, the fire unquenchable, where all the excesses of his short pleasures shall be revenged with more excessive, endless torments: his senses which were here the only organs of his felicity, shall then be (though not the only) the very sensible mediums of his wretchedness; and that conscience which he here suspended from its office, shall then take our its arrears, and return all it's stifled admonitions in perpetual horrors, and desperate upbraid. I need not now sure ask on which side the greater danger lies. 22. To conclude, the result of all is, that the transitory pleasures of the Atheist are overpoised even by the present satisfactions of the Pious And the eternity of unbounded, unconceivable joys he expects hereafter, comes in ex abundanti, having nothing on the other side that offers at a competition with it. And at the very same rate of Proportion we have seen the dangers also are so, that we can easily compute the utmost mischief our Christianity can do us, if it should be false; but the damage of the other is inestimable, both for the penalty of loss, and sense. I may now appeal to common prudence to judge of the vast inequality, and to pronounce, that sure there had need be some great evidence of truth on the Atheists side, to preponderate all these disadvantages. Indeed, nothing much below a demonstration can justify the choice of so dangerous Principles; I am sure an equal probability can never do it, where the danger is so unequal; and were the veriest Atheist consulted in a secular case of the like circumstances, he would certainly pronounce him a mad man that should make such an election. How desperate a frenzy than is it to do it, without so much as that equal probability: nay indeed, without any probability at all? And yet this madness sets up for the monopoly not of Wit only, but Reason too; and by confidence and clamour, seeks to run down those Arguments it can never confute. 23. I may be thought here to have made too long a d●…gression from my proper Subject, but I cannot confess it so; for since my present business is to recommend Piety, I can no way do that so effectually as by showing its consonancy to right reason, especially considering the busy industry is now used to represent it under another form, and to alienate from it those persons whose Greatness may give it any lustre or repute in the World; of which sort I suppose there are few more frequently attaqued then Women of Quality, that converse among those who call themselves the wits of the Age; who living in so infectious an air, had need of some antidotes about them; and if what I have now offered, appear not forcible enough, (for it pretends not to the tith of what may be said on the Subject) yet it may at least do them this service, to put them in mind of what they need, and send them to the fuller dispensatories of others. 24. And that is the thing. I should earnestly beg of them, that they would be so just to their own interest, as not to combine with seducers against themselves; but if they have been so unhappy as to lend one ear to them, yet at least not to give up both to be forced in a slavish submission to their dictates, but hear what may be said on the other side. And sure 'tis but a low composition for God thus to divide with Satan, yet 'tis that of which his Emissaries are so jealous that 'tis one of their grand Maxims, that none who professes Divinity is to be advised with; and therefore by all Arts they are to be rendered either ridiculous, or suspected; to which methinks may by applied that Fable (which Demosthenes once recited to the Athenians, when Alexander demanded of them to deliver up their Orators) of the Wolves and the Sheep, who coming to a Treaty, the first Article of the Wolves was, that the sheep should give up their mastiffs which guarded them: the resemblance is too obvious to need a minute application. 25. But this is manifestly to reverse all former Rules, and to trust a man rather in any Faculty than his own, and would never have prevailed in any thing but where the soul is concerned, that poor despicable thing whereon alone we think fit to make experiments. 'Tis sure, that if any should dispute their title to an earthly Possession, they would not so tamely resign it, nor would trust their own selves in its defence, but would consult their ablest Lawyers, and, by them, sift out every circumstance that might establish their claim. Why should they then suffer themselves to be talked out of an Heavenly Inheritance, without so much as once proposing their doubts to those whose study and profession it is to resolve them? But as in all other ills, so in this, prevention is better than cure; and therefore to those that are yet untainted, the securest course will be to stop both ears against all profane insinuations. and to use those who temt them to be disloial to their God, that spiritual adultery, as they should do those who solicit them to the carnal, not so much as to enter parley, but with the greatest indignation detest and reject them. 'Tis the saying of the Wise man, Prov. 25. 23. that an angry countenance driveth away a backbiting tongue. And certainly, would great Persons look severely on such defamers of Religion, they would give some check to that impudence of profaneness which has given it such a vogue in the World. 26. And sure this is much their Duty to do, if they own any relation to that God who is so dishonoured. They would think it a very disingenuous thing to sit by to hear a Friend or Benefactor reviled, and express no displeasure; and is God so friendless among them, that only his traducers and blasphemers can be patiently heard? Among the Jews, at the hearing of any Blasphemy, they rend their clothes; but I fear we have some of our nice Dames that would be much more concerned at a rip in their garment, then at the rending and violating Gods sacred Name; and could more patiently behold the total subversion of Religion, than the disorder or misplacing of a lock or ribbon. But 'tis to be hoped there are not many so impious, and those that are not, will surely think themselves obliged with all their power, to discountenance all the Fautors of irreligion, whether they be the solemn sedater sort that would argue, or the jollier that would raillery them out of their Faith. 27. But when they have thus provided against the assaults of others, and secured the speculative part of Religion, they have only established a Judicatory against themselves, stored up matter of Conviction and Accusation, if they answer it not in the practic. I must therefore after this long excursion, return to my first Point, and beseech them seriously to weigh the obligations they have to Piety in the general notion of it, as it comprehends all the duties of a Christian life, of which as I intent not to speak particularly; so I know not where to find a better summary, then that which S. James has drawn up, Chap. 1. vers. 27. Pure Religion and undefiled before God even the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. 28. But besides this general, there is (as I said before) another more restrained notion of Piety, as it relates to our more immediate intercourse with God in divine Ordinances and Worship, in which respect it commonly passes under the name of Devotion, and thus considered it has a great propriety to the female Sex. For Devotion is a tender Plant, that will scarce root in stiff or rocky ground, but requires a supple gentle soil, and therefore the feminine softness and pliableness is very apt and proper for it. And accordingly there have been very eminent growths of it in that Sex. I need not he●…p up examples of former Ages, but rather persuade this to leave some at least to the following; and the more considerable the persons are the more conspicuous will be the example, which seems themore toadapt it to those I now speak to. Devotion in a Cloister is as recluse as the Votary, a light rather under a 〈◊〉 then on a candlestick: and in an obscure Cottage 'tis either not observed, or else thought to be but the effect of destitution and secular wants a reserve rather than a choice: but when those who are in the ei●… of the world, the most eminent Actors on the Theatre of human life, shall choose the part of a Saint, when those who want none of the divertisments or blandishments of earth, shall have their conversation in Heaven, this recommends it to the Spectators, as the true and greatest object of human choice; since 'tis chosen by those who know the utmost pretence of all its competitors. 29. Nor is devotion only more excellent in them in regard of its effects, but 'tis also more necessary in respect of their obligation. Devotion is an abstraction from the world, and therefore cannot in any eminent degrees, be practised by those whose necessities or business do much entangle them in it. So that from such, a far less proportion will be accepted, then from those whose plenty and ease give them no other want but that of employment. And certainly if there be any of whom that can truly be said; women of quality are the persons: for they in this respect exceed even men of the like rank, for the men are often engaged in public employments, and must l●…nd most of their time to the use of others; or however all have the care of their own private affairs, the managery of their fortunes to employ them. But of women the utmost that is ordinarily required, is but a little easy inspection within their own walls, the oversight of a few children, and servants, and even from this how many are by their condition of life exempted? and how many more do by their niceness and delicacy exempt themselves? And surely so perfect a vacancy is neither happy nor safe. And therefore God who projects we should be both, never designed it for any of mankind: but where he gives so much liberty from secular, he expects a greater diligence in spiritual employments. 30. And indeed 'tis an amazing thing to see, that any into whom he has breathed the breath of life, on whom he has stamped the image of his own eternity, can think those immortal souls were given them only to serve the mean and abject uses of their corruptible bodies, (for which the soul of the dullest Animal would have done as well;) that eating and drinking, sleep and recreations, which are only useful to the supporting us in this world, are the only things for which we were sent hither. And yet if we may measure their opinions by their practice, this seems to be the persuasion of many of our female Gentry, who look upon it as a degrading, a kind of attainder of their blood, to do any thing but please their senses. An error sure of the most pernicious consequence imaginable. We know a Lady of pleasure is in one sense a very scandalous Epithet, and truly 'tis no very laudable one in the other, nay which is worse, they are often coincident, and fall in with each other. She whose sole universal aim is pleasure, will not think herself much out of her road, in the pursuit of any particular. And she that thinks she lives for no other purpose, will so often be at a loss for innocent pleasure, that she is almost under a necessity to call in the nocent, to serve the very end (as she supposes) of her being. Aut indeed were they sure to confine themselves to such as are harmless in their kind, yet the excess of them renders them sinful, and the doting pursuit denominates them lovers of Pleasures more than lovers of God, a character so black that the Apostle completes his Catalogue of the worst vice; of the worst times with it, 1 Tim. 3. 4. 31. It is therefore the great goodness of God to design a rescu for those whose condition exposes them to that danger, and by exacting a liberal expense of time in their devotion, divert them from lavishing both it and their souls together. Neither does he by this defeat their aim of a pleasant life, but rather assist it: for whereas sensual delights are vagrant, and must be chased through a hundred turnings and wild Mazes, the spiritual are fixed, and one may always know where to find them. How often are the voluptuous in pain to know which pleasure to choose? like a surfeited stomac the greater variety is set before it, the more it nauseats all. What difficulties hath a Lady many times to resolve whether an afternoon shall be spen at the Court, or at the Theatre; whether in dancing or at cards, in giving or receiving visi●…s, as not knowing which will best please her? But she that knows the delights of devotion, knows withal that there is no other fit to come in competition with it; and so is not distracted in her choice, nor need go farther than her Closet for the most agreeable entertainment. I know this will sound a little incredible to those that know no other use of Closets then as a conservatory of gauds and baubles; that aspire to no pleasure there above that of children, the playing with the Pictures and Popets that adorn it. Nor indeed do I pretend that such shall find those satisfactions I speak of. Those whose errand is to Beelzebub the God of flies, must not expect to be treated by the God of Israel. An ingenious man will scorn to obtrude himself on those who desire not his company, and sure God will not make himself more cheap. Those that will meet him in their Closets, must come with that design, resort thither as to an Oratory; nay more than so, they must come frequently. Spiritual joys know not the way to a place where they are not often invited: and as men seek for each other not in places where they seldom or never come, but where they daily frequent; so God contrives, not to meet us in that place where we appear rarely and accidentally, but where we usually resort. 32. I shall not need to branch out devotion into the several parts, that being done already in a multitude of other Treatises, of which if they please to consult any one, they cannot want a Directory for their worship, whether private or public. Only let me observe the order and connexion of those two, that they are neither to be severed, nor yet to be ranged preposterously. The private must not justle out the public, for God expects his solemn homage: and their huddling it up in private, as it may give men Ground to suspect they pay none at all; so neither God nor man can collect any thing better from it, then that they are ashamed of the Deity they pretend to serve. On the other side the public must as little swallow up the private, and where it does, there may be ajust doubt of its sincerity, Many attractives there may be to Church besides that of Piety, and indeed where that is really the motive, it teaches so much reverence to that awful presence they are to approach, as not to come without some preparation. What solicitude, what critical niceness will a Lady have for her dress, when she is to appear at a solemn meeting at Court, and shall she take no care how sordidly, how undecently she appear when the King of Kings gives audience? Shall many hours, days, nay perhaps weeks, be taken up in contriving for the one, and shall there never be a minute allotted for the other? This were sure very unequal, and yet this is the case where the devotion of the Closet does not prepare for that of the Church. If the mind be not tuned first there, it will be very ill qualified for that harmony of souls, which is the only thing God regards in our public offices. So that were there no other use of private devotion, but as it relates to the public, that were enough to speak the necessity of it. 33, But indeed 'tis not only a needful preparative to that sacred commerce, but to our civil. The World is but a larger sort of Pesthouse, in every corner of it we meet with infectious airs, and those that converse in it had need of this Antidote. How many temtations does every place, every hour, every interview, present to the shocking even of that moral integrity which a sober Heathen would judge fit to preserve; much more of that strict Piety our Christianity exacts. 34. 'Twas the observation that Origen made of himself, that the day in which he so shamefully fell by sacrificing to Idols, he had ventured out in the morning before he had completed his usual prayers; the Devil finding him so unarmed took advantage to assault him, as knowing he had then but a single impotent man to wrestle with, who had forfeited, by not invoking, the protection of God. And indeed since prayer is the most powerful exorcism to eject him, we may well conclude the omission of it is a likely means to invite him: for if God have not the prepossession, if we do not by hearty prayer surrender our souls to him in the morning, they are then all the day after like that emty house mentioned in the Gospel, a fit receptacle for as many evil spirits as please to inhabit there. Nor are these spiritual the only dangers that attend us, we are liable to a multitude of secular ones also: our persons, our fortunes, our reputations, every thing wherein we can receive a benefit, renders us equally capable of a prejudice. What multitudes of accidents are there to which we lie open, and nothing to guard us from them but the divine Providence? which if we neglect to solicit we are sure very unworthy of its defence. And this is a consideration that methinks should bring even the most sensual persons upon their knees: for though too many may be found that despise the former danger, and can contentedly enough expose their souls, yet such are usually the most tender of their temporal concerns it being commonly the excessive love of those which makes them neglect the other. She that fears not the fall into sin, will yet fear the tumbling into a precipice, and though she care not for the spotting of her innocence, would be very loath any accident should blemish her face, disparage her fame, or impoverish her fortune, and yet from any or all of these she is utterly unable to guard herself. So that if Piety will not, yet interest me thinks should render her an homager to that omnipotent power, from whence alone she can derive her safety. 35. And now methinks a Duty that is thus bound on with the cords of a man, with human as well as divine persuasives, should not easily be shaken off. I wish I could say it never is, but I fear there are some of those I now speak to, who neglect it in spite of all these inducements; who though they can pretend nothing serious enough to own the name of business, do yet suffer a succession of I know not what impertinencies to divert them. And indeed were the expense of some Lady's days calculated, we should find every hour so full of emtiness, so overladen with vanities that 'tis scarce imaginable where an office of devotion should crowd in. 36. The morning is divided between sleep and dressing, nor would the morning suffice, but that they are fain to make a new computation to measure it not by the Sun, but by their time of dining, which is often as late as the stationary hours of the Primitive Fasts, though upon a far differing motive. The afternoons being by this means reduced, are too short for those many divertisements that await them, and must therefore borrow as much of the night as they lent to the morning. And when the mere fatigues of pleasure send a Lady to her rest, 'tis not imaginable that she will permit Devotion to induce a yet greater, and more disagreeable lassitude; so that the whole round of her time seems to be a kind of magic circle, wherein nothing that is holy must appear. And indeed 'tis none of the highest stratagems of Satan thus to forestall their time; and by a perpetual supply of diversions, insensibly steal from them the opportunities of divine offices; an artifice by which I presume he prevails on some, who would startle at his grosser and more apparent temtations. 37. Nor needs he more than the success of this project; for if this habitual neglect of Piety should not finally end in great and criminal commissions, (as 'tis naturally very apt to do) yet his interest is sufficiently secured by such a customary omission, which amounts to no less than the living without God in the World: a state so hopeless, that when the Apostle recollects to the Ephesians the wretchedness of their Gentile State, he does it in those very words, Eph. 2. 12. And sure, those that live so under Christianity, are not in a better, but worse condition, by how much contemt of God is more unpardonable than ignorance. 38. It therefore infinitely concerns those who are in danger of so fatal a snare, to look about them, and endeavour to countermine Satan, and be as industrious to secure their duty, as he is to supplant it; and to this purpose, one of the usefullest expedients I know, is to be aforehand with him; I mean, to make their Devotions the first business of the day; by which I intent not only those Ejaculations wherewith we all should open our eyes, but their more set and solemn Prayers; a Practice so highly expedient to the persons forementioned, that it falls little short of necessary; and that upon several reasons. 39 First, in relation to one of the great ends of Morning Prayer, which is to supplicate the guidance and protection of God for the whole day. Now if this be not done till some Lady's Dress be finished, 'twill be half a mockery, a most preposterous request, as to the greatest part of the day, which will be passed before; and besides absurdity, there is danger in it; for all the preceding time is as it were outlawed by it, put from under the Divine Protection. Alas, are God's safeguards to be only meridional, to shine out only with the noonday Sun; Do they suppose Satan keeps their hours, and stirs ●…ot abroad till the afternoon, that there is no danger either of corporal or spiritual mischiefs before that time of the day? Certainly, if the noise of the harp and the viol which Isa. mentions, Chap. 5. 12. do not drown it, they may often hear a morning as well as evening Passing-bell; with how many others does the glass of life run out, whilst they are at their looking-glasses? How many bodies are maimed and wounded in the time they are trimming and decking theirs? And who made them differ from others, 1 Cor. 4. 7? Or what tenure have they in the safety of one moment, save what they owe to God's Providence? And what rational expectation can they have of that, when they do not invoke it? 40. Nor are the spiritual dangers less, but rather much more; & they must be very slight observers of themselves, if they do not discern that snares may be laid for them in their recesses in their chambers, as well as in places of the most public resort. Indeed, were there no other than what relates to their dress, and curiosity thereof, it were enough to evidence their danger; scarce any part of that but carrying a temptation in it: to Pride, ifit hit right, and please their fancy, to▪ Anger and Vexation, if it do not. They had need therefore to put on their armour before their ornaments, by a prepossession of Prayer and Meditation to secure their vitals, lest by an internal death of Grace, their bodies (in their utmost lustre) prove but the painted Sepulchers of their Souls. 41. In the second place, this appears requisite in opposition to the indecency and incongruity of the contrary. How inverted an estimate do they make of things that postpone the interests of their souls, to themeanest member of their bodies, pay●… supererrogating attendance to the one, before the other comes at all into their care. But what is yet worse, how vile a contumely is offered to the Majesty of God, who is used as they do their dunning Creditors, posted off with an excuse of no lesure yet to speak with him; whilst in the mean time all the factors for their vanitycan have ready access, and full audience. God must attend till their Tailor, their Shoemaker please to dismiss them, and at the best, can be allowed only to bring up the rear of a whole shoal of Artificers. 42. But thirdly, 'tis very doubtful whether he shall obtain so much from them; for it may often happen that he shall be quite precluded: so numerous are the parts of a modish equipage, and so exact a symmetry is required in the whole, that 'tis the business of many hours to complete it; when as 'twas said of the Roman Ladies, a counsel must be called about the placing of an hair that sits irregularly, when one thing after another shall be tried, and again rejected, as not exact, or not becoming; time all the while insensibly steals away, and though that will not stay for them, yet dinner doth, and then their bellies begin to murmur to pay any longer attendance on their backs, and claim the next turn; and between these two competitors, 'tis odds devotion will be quite excluded, or reduced only to a grace before meat: (and well if that, considering how unfashionable even that is grown) in the mean time what a wretched improvidence is it, to reduce the one necessary business of the day to such uncertainties, nay almost to a certain disappointment. 43. Yet suppose this hazard were only imaginary, and a Lady were infallibly sure not to lose the time for her Prayers; yet in the fourth place, she will be likely by such preceding diversions to lose much of her zeal in them, so that if they be said at all, they will scarce be said in a due manner. There ●…s alas such a repugnancy in our nature to any thing spiritual, that we cannot close in an instant; but as a benumbed, frozen body will need some rubbing and chafing before it can be fit for motion; so our more frozen souls require some previons' incitations before they can with any vigour exert themselves in Devotion. Now sure the dressing time (I mean such a dressing as we now suppose) is not very proper for such preparations. 'Tis; on the contrary, extreme apt to indispose and unfit them; for when the fancy is possessed with so many little images of vanity, they will not easily be ejected. That ranging faculty is, God knows, too apt to bring in even the remotest diversions; but when it has such a stock ready at hand, how will it pour them in upon the mind, to the great allaying, if not utter extinguishing of Devotion. 44. When all these considerations are put together, 'twill sure appear wholesome counsel, that such persons should not trust so important a duty to so many casualties, but in the first place secure a time for that, repair to their Oratory before their dressing room, and by an early consecration of themselmes to God, defeat Satan's claim, and discourage his attemts for the rest of the day. We know there is a natural efficacy in a good beginning, towards the producing a good ending: but in spiritual things the influence is yet greater, because it draws in Auxiliaries from above, and engages the yet farther assistances of Grace. Upon which account I am apt to believe, that where this Duty is sincerely and fervently performed in the morning, it will not totolly be neglected in the succeeding parts of the day. 'Twill be easy to discern the same obligation, the same advantage of closing the day with God, that there was to begin it; and when those two boundaries are secured, when those are looked upon as strict duty, and constantly observed, 'tis not unlikely but their Piety may grow generous, and with David, Ps. 55. 17. add to the evening and morning a noonday office; for where Devotion is real, 'tis apt to be progressive; and the more we converse with God, the more we shall desire to do so. Thus we see how this little cloud like that of Elijah, 1 King. 18. 44. may overspread the Heavens, and this handful of first-fruits may hollow the whole day. 45. Nay indeed, when it has advanced thus far, 'twill probably go farther, 'twill not keep itself only on the defensive part, but invade its opposites, get daily ground of those vanities by which it was before oppressed. For when a Lady has in her Closet washed her cheeks▪ with penitential tears, she cannot sure when she comes out think them prepared for the varnish of the paint and fucus. When she has attentively examined her Conscience, that impartial mirror, and there discerned all the blemishes of her nobler part, she will sure with somewhat a more cold concern consult her looking-glass. And when she has been pious vows and resolutions put on the Lord Jesus Christ, Rom. 13. 14. 'twill be impossible for her to be very anxiously careful about her garments. This devout temper of her mind will by a holy leger-demain shu●…fle the Romances out of her hand and substitute the Oracles of Truth; will not let her dream away her time in fantastic scenes, and elaborate nothing, but promt her to give all diligence to make her Calling and Election sure. In a word, when she once understands what it is to spend one hour devoutly, she will endeavour to rescue all the rest from trifles, and impertinent entertainments; and employ them to purposes more worthy the great end of her being. Thus may she almost insensibly wind herself out of the snare, disentangle herself from those temtations wherewith she was enwrapped; and by having her heart so set at liberty, may run the ways of God's Commandments, Ps. 119. 46. But Private Devotion, though of excellent effect, cannot commute for the omission of public, nor indeed can it long maintain its vigour, unless sometimes cherished by the warmth of Christian Assemblies; and if God please to visit them in their Closets, they are (even by their own Laws of Civility) obliged to return his Visits, and attend him in his house, I fear too many adapt the instance in the formality too, and come as unconcernedly to him as they do to one another. 'Tis true, those that pay him a cordial reverence at Home, will certainly do it at the Church; and therefore by the little we see performed by some there, we may doubt God sees as little in their Retirements. But what speak I of an hearty Reverence, when 'tis visible that there are those who pay none at all? How rare a sight is it for some Ladies to appear at Church? How many times (I had almost said hundreds) do we see their Coaches stand at the Playhouse, for once at God's? They seem to own no distinction of days, unless it be, that Sunday is their most vacant season to take Physic, or to lie a-bed; and if such do ever come to Church; Devotion is like to be the least part of their errand; some new garment perhaps or dress is to be showed, and that thought the place where the most critical Judges of those things will be most at lesure to observe them; or if they come not to teach new fashions, it may be they come to learn; and such documents will be surer to be put in practice then any in the Sermon. Possibly they expect to see some friend or acquaintance there, and as if Christ were to be served (as he was born) in an Inn, make his house the common rendezvous in which to meet their Associates. If they have any more ingenious attractives, 'tis commonly that of curiosity, to hear some new celebrated Preacher, and that rather for his Rhetoric then his Divinity; and this Motive (though the best of the set) is but like that which prevailed with those Jews St. John mentions, who came to Jesus that they might see Lazarus, Jo. 12. 47. I shall not rank among these Motives, that of Hypocrisy and seeming Holiness; for from that all the rest do acquit them. Indeed 'tis the only sin which this Age has seemed to reform, and that too only by way of Antiperistasis, not by the Virtue but the Iniquity of the Times. Religion is grown so unfashionable, so contemptible; that none can now be tempted to put on so ridiculous a disguise. And although as to single persons I confess Hypocrisy one of the deepest Guilts, such as has a peculiar portion assigned it by Christ in the place of torment, Mat. 24. 51. yet as to Communities, I cannot but think it better to have a face of Religion than profaneness. The example of the former may work beyond itself, and the form of Godliness in some may produce the power of it in others; but a pattern of Profaneness, the farther it operates the worse, and all the progress it can make, is from one wickedness to another, so that I fear as St. Bernard wished for his Fever again, so the Church may ere long for her Hypocrites. 48. But to recall myself from this digression, let us a little inquire how those whom the forementioned Motives bring to Church behave themselves there, and that is indeed with great conformity to the ends of their coming, their errand is not to be Suppliants, neither do they put themselves in the posture, kneeling is impertinent for them who mean not to pray, but as the Apostle describes the Idolatrous service of the Israelites, They sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play; so these sit down to talk and laugh with their Pew-fellows, and rise up to gape and look about them. When they should be confessing their sins to Almighty God, they are apologizing (perhaps) to one another for the omission of a ceremonious visit, or some other breach of civility; when they should be observing the goings of God in the Sanctuary, Psa. 68 they are enquiring when this Lady came to Town, or when that goes out; nay perhaps the Theatre is brought into the Temple, the last Play they saw is recollected, and Quotations enough brought thence to vie with the Preacher. 'Tis impossible to reckon up all their Topics of discourse, nay it were indeed scandalous for one that reproves them to pretend to know, by how many impertinencies (to say no worse) they profane that holy Place and Time. 49. But that all seeing eye in whose presence they are, keeps an exact account, and will charge them not only with the principal but the product; not only with their own irreverences, but with those which by their example or encouragement they have occasioned in others, nay farther even with that scandal which redounds to Christianity by it. For when one that is to choose a Religion, shall read the Precepts of Pythagoras enjoining that the Gods must not be worshipped in passing by, as it were accidentally, but with the greatest solemnity and intention, when they shall consider the care of Numa in instituting Officers, who at Sacrifices, and all divine Services, should call upon the people to keep silence and advert to Devotion, or but the practice of the present Mahometans, who permit none to sit in their Moschoes, nor to pray without prostration. When I say this is considered, and compared with the scandalous indecency observable in our churches, he will certainly exclude Christianity from all competition in his choice; not allow that the name of a Religion, whose very Worship appears so profane, and whose Votaries mock the God they pretend to serve. 50. Yet how severe soever the charge may lie against some, I am far from including all under it. I know there are many Ladies whose examples are reproaches to the other Sex, that help to fill our congregations when Gentlemen desert them, & to who sometimes we alone own that our Churches are not furnished like the Feast in the Parable, Luke 14. 21. merely out of the high ways and hedges, with the poor and the maimed, the halt and the blind; yet some even of these may be liable to some irregularity, which may be the effects of inadvertence or misperswasion, though not of contemt or profaneness. 51. And first 'tis observable in some who come constantly, that yet they come not early, so that a considerable part of Prayers is passed ere they enter the Church. This first causes some disturbance to others, the successive entry of new comers keeping the Congregation in a continual motion and agitation, which how unagreable it is to Devotion, Numa a Heathen Prince may teach us, who Plutarch tells us took a particular care, that in the time of divine Worship, no knocking, clapping, or other noise should be heard; as well knowing how much the operations of the intellect are obstructed by any thing that importunes the Senses. What would he have said, should he come into one of our City Congregations, where often during the whole time of Prayer, the clapping of Pew-doors does out-noise the Reader. 52. But besides the indecency of the thing, and the interruption it gives to others, 'tis very injurious to themselves; a kind of partial excommunication of their own inflicting; which excludes them from part of the divine Offices, and from that part too, which is of the most universal concern, I mean the confession of sins, which the wisdom of our Church has fitly placed in the beginning of her Service, as the necessary introduction to all the rest. For considering how obnoxious we all are to the wrath and vengeance of God, our first business is to deprecate that by an humble confession of our guilt. Would any Malefactor that had forfeited his life to Justice, come boldly to his Prince, and without taking notice of his crimes, importune him to bestow the greatest favours & dignities upon him? Yet 'tis the very same abrupt impudence in us, to supplicate the divine Majesty before we attemt to atone him, to ask good things from him before we have acknowledged the ill we have do against him. And to such God may justly make such a return as Augustus did to one that entertained him much below his greatness, I knew not before that we were such familiars. 53. It will much better become them to anticipate the time, to wait at the posts of his doors, Pro. 8. and contrive to be there before the Service begins, that so by previous recollection they may put their minds in a fit posture of address at the public Audience: which (by the way) speaks it to be no very laudable custom which almost universally prevails, that those few who do come early, spend the interval before service, in talking with one another, by which they do not only lose the advantage of that time for preparation, but convert it into the direct contrary, do thereby actually unfit and indispose themselves. Godknows our hearts even in their most composed temper, are too apt to create diversions; we need not start game for them to chase, and by prefacing our Prayer with secular discourse, make a gap for the same thoughts to return upon us in them. Besides in relation to the place, it has a spice of profaneness, 'tis the bringing the Moabite and Ammonite into the Temple, Deut. 23. 3. a kind of invasion on God's propriety, by introducing our worldly concerns or divertisments into the house which is called by his name, solemnly dedicated to him, and therefore dedicated that it might be his peculiar. So that with a little variation, we may to such apply the expostulatory reproof of the Apostle to the Corinthians, 1 Cor. 11. 22. what, have ye not houses to talk and converse●… in, or despise ye the Church of God? But this is 〈◊〉 confess a reproof that will not reach to many, there being so few of the better sort that come early enough to talk before Service, and as for those who talk at it, we have already ranked them under another Classis. Yet give me leave to add that those fall not much short of that degree of profaneness, who come late only because they are loath to rise, or to abate any thing of the curiosity of their dress. For she that prefers her sloth or her vanity before God's Service, is like (how decently soever she behave herself) to give but an unsignificant attendance at it. 54. But I guess this may in many proceed from another cause, which tho less ill in their intention, is not so in respect either of its unreasonableness or its effects, and that is an unequal estimate they make of the parts of God's Service. This last Age has brought in such a partiality for Preaching, that Prayer seems comparatively (like Sarah to Hagar) despicable in their eyes: so that if they can but come time enough to the Sermon, they think they have discharged the weightier part of the Law, and of their own duty. This misperswasion, though it have too generally diffused itself through both Sexes, yet seems to have been very especially imbibed by the female. And besides the evidence that Sunday gives; the weekdays afford no less. Let there be a Lecture though at the remotest part of the Town, what hurrying is there to it, but let the Bell toll never so loud for the Canonical hours of Common Prayer, 'twill not call the nearest of the Neighbourhood. I speak not of those who are at defiance with our Service, ●…nd have listed themselves in separate Congregations (for I intent not to trace them through their wild mazes) but of those who yet own our Church, and object not to its Offices, but only have suffered their valu for them to be insensibly undermined by their greater zeal for Preaching. God sure intends a Harmony in all sacred Ordinances, and would not have set up a party against another, but mutually assist each others operation upon us: thus Prayer disposes us to receive benefit by preaching, and preaching teaches us how to pray aright, and God grant we may long enjoy the public opportunities of both. Yet since this Age has brought themto a competition, I must take leave to say, that if we come impartially to weigh Prayer and Preaching, the Balance will incline another way than it seems with many to do, and we shall find Prayer the more essential part of Religion. 55. The end of Preaching is twofold, either to teach us what we know not, or to excite us to practise what we already know: now in relation to the first of these ends, I suppose there is a wide difference between Preaching at the first promulgation of the Gospel, and now: 'twas then the only way of revealing to the World the whole mystery of our Salvation, so that the Apostles inference was then irrefragable, How shall they believe on him of whom they have not heard, and how shall they hear without a Preacher? Ro. 10. 14. But where Christianity is planted, and the New Testament received, we have therein the whole doctrine of Christ; nay we have not only the matter but the very form of many of those Sermons which Christ and his Apostles preached; so that unless we think them not sufficiently gifted, we cannot but acknowledge, we have in them ampl●… instruction both for Faith and Manners; enough, as the Apostle speaks, to make us wise unto Salvation, 2 Tim. 3. 15. And the reading of those being a considerable part of our Church's Service, we have the most genuine Preaching even before the Minister ascends the Pulpit. Besides, for the help of those whose youth or incapacity disables them from making collections thence for themselves, our Church has epitomised the most necessary Points of Belief and Practice in the Catechism, not (as the Roman) to preclude their farther search, but to supply them in the interim till they are qualified for it; and by that early infusion of Christian Principles, to secure them of that knowledge which is simply necessary to their Salvation. 56. Now sure, to people in this state, Preaching is not of so absolute necessity in respect of instruction, as it was to those who from Heathenism and Idolatry were to be brought first to the Knowledge, and then to the Faith of Christ. We seem therefore now more generally concerned in the other end of Preaching, the exciting us to Practice; for alas, there are few of us who stumble on sin for▪ want of light, but either through heedlessness, and want of looking before us, or else by a wilful prostration of ourselves to it; so that we often need to be roused out of our negligence, to be frighted out of our stubbornness, and by a close application of those truths we either forget or suppress, be animated to our Duty. And for this purpose Preaching is doubtless of excellent use, and the nauseating of it shows a very sick constitution of mind; yet sure the over-greedy desire may be a Disease also. He that eats more than he can concoct, does not so much assist as oppress nature, & those that run from sermon to sermon, that allow themselves no time to chew, much less to digest what they hear, will sooner confound their brains then better their lives. Nay, it oft betrays them to a very pernicious delusion, it diverts them from many of the practical parts of Piety, and yet gives them a confidence that they are extraordinarily Pious; and by their belief that Religion consists principally in hearing, makes them forget to try themselves by that more infallible test of doing God's will. So that whereas God never designed Preaching for more than a guide in their way, they make it their way, and their end too; and Hearing must, like a circle, begin and terminate in itself. 57 I am sure in secular concerns, we should think him a very unprofitable servant, that after his Lord had given him directions what to do, should be so transported with hearing his instructions, that he should desire to have it infinitely repeated, and so spend the time wherein he should do the work. And we have reason to think God will make the same judgement of those who do the like in his service. 58. One would now think that this ravenous appetite of hearing should supersede all niceness in it, yet we find it does not, but that some make▪ a shift to be at once voracious and squeamish. If this spiritual food be not artificially dressed, 'tis too gross for their palates; the Phrase must be elegant, the words well accented, and the enticing words of man's wisdom which St. Paul disclaims in his Preaching, 1 Cor. 2. 4. is that which they principally regard. Nay the memory of the Preacher becomes the most material Point of his Sermon, and the first glance on his Book prejudges him. I need not add the extravagances of an uncouth tone, a furious vehemence, or fantastic gesture, wherein the soul and vital efficacy of Preaching has been solemnly placed. Now 'tis evident all these are but trivial Accomplishments; so that thosewho insist so much on them, do make Preaching much less Sacred and Divine then indeed it is; and therefore cannot without absurdity lay the main stress of Religion upon it, or make that the highest of God's Ordinances, which owes all its gratefulness with them to the Endowments of men. Some may think I pursu this subject too far, but I am sure I do it not with design to derogate from the juct respect due to Preaching; only I would not have it monopolise our esteem, or justle out another Duty, which is of more constant use, and indispensible necessity. 59 And such certainly is Prayer, that respiration of the soul, which is so necessary, that it admits not of long intermission, and therefore seems to carry the same proportion to hearing, which breathing does to eating: we may make long intervals of feeding, and yet subsist; but if we should do so in breathing, we cannot recover it. Prayer is the morning and evening Sacrifice under the Law, which God ordained should be perpetual; whereas Preaching is but like the Readins in the Synagogues on Sabbaths and Festivals. Indeed, however we have confounded the terms, 'tis Prayer only that can properly be called the worship of God; 'tis that by which we pay him his solemnhomage, acknowledge his sovereignty, and our own dependence. When we hear, we do no more than what every Disciple does to his Master; but when we pray, we own him as the spring and source of all the good we expect, as the Author of our Being, and the Object of our Adoration, in a word, we do by it profess him our God; it being an impress of mere natural Religion to supplicate the Deity we acknowledge. 60. And as by Prayer we render the greatest Honour to God, so likewise do we procure the greatest advantages to ourselves. Prayer is the powerful Engine, by which we draw down Blessings; 'tis the key which lets us into the immense Storehouse of the Almighty; nay 'tis that upon which the Efficacy of Preaching depends. The Word is but a dead letter without the Spirit; and God has promised the Spirit to none but those that ask it, Luk. 11. 13, So that Prayer is that which enlivens and inspirits our most sacred actions; and accordingly in Scripture she find it still a concomitant in all Ecclesiastical concerns. When an Apostle was to be substituted in the room of Judas, we find, they referred it not to the decision of lots, till God, who had the sole disposing of them, Prov. 16. 33. had been invoked by solemn Prayer, Act. 1. 24. So when Barnabas and Saul were to be separated to the Ministry, though the appointment were by the Holy Ghost, yet that superseded not the necessity of Prayer; the Apostles prayed, (yea, and fasted too) before they laid their hand on them, Act. 13. 3. Nay, our Blessed Saviour Himself, though He knew what was in man, and needed no guidance but his own Omniscience in this choice: yet we find that before his Election of the twelve Apostles, he continued a whole night in Prayer to God, Luk. 6. 22. doubtless, to teach us how requisite Prayer is in all our important interests, which like the Pillar of Cloud and Fire to the Israelites, is our best Convoy through the Wilderness, through all the snares and temtations, through all the calamities and distresses of this World, and our most infallible Guide to the Land of Promise. 61. And sure when all these are the properties of Prayer, though private, they will not less belong to the public; such a conspiration and union of importunate Devotion, must have a proportionable increase in its effect; and if Heaven can suffer violence by the fervour of one single Votary, with what storm, what batteries will it be scaled by a numerous Congregation? We find the Church is, by Christ, compared to an Army with banners, Cant. 6. 3. but sure never is this Army in so good array, in so invincible a posture as upon its knees. The Ecclesiastical story tells us of a Legion of Christians in Aurelius' Camp, who in that posture discomfited two assailants at once, the enemy and the drought; that breath which they sent up in Prayers, like a kindly exhalation returned in rain, and relieved the perishing Army: and had we but the same fervour, and the same innocency, could we lift up but as pure hands as they did, there would be no Blessing beyond our reach. But the less any of us find ourselves so qualified, the more need we have to put ourselves among those that are. 62. There is an happy contagion in goodness; like green wood, we may perhaps be kindled by the neighbouring flame; the example of another's zeal may awake mine. However, there is some advantage in being in the company: those showers of benediction which their Prayers bring down, are so plentiful, that some drops at least may scatter upon those about them. We find Elisha for Jehoshophats sake, endured the presence of Jehoram, whom otherwise he professes he would not have looked towards, 2 King. 3. 14. and God may perhaps do the like in this case; and as he prospered Potiphar for Joseph's sake, Gen. 39 23. so the Piety of foam few may redound to the benefit of all. From all these considerations I suppose may sufficiently be evinced the necessity and benefit, of public Prayer, and consequently the unreasonableness of those, who upon any pretence neglect it. I shall now only beseech those to whom I speak to make the application to themselves, and to show they do so by their more early and more assiduous attendance on it. 63. There is also another Duty to which many of these to whom I write seem to need some incitation, and that is Communicating, a part of Devotion which the loser sort scarce ever think in season till their death beds, as if that Sacrament like the Romanists Extreme Unction, were only fit for exspiring souls, but to such we may apply the words of the Angel to the woman, Lu. 24. 5. Why siekye the living among the dead? Why think ye that the Sun of Righteousness is only to shine in the shades of death, or that Christ is never to give us his flesh, till we are putting off our own; 'Tis one principal end of that Sacrament to engage and enable us to a new life; how preposterous then is it, how utterly inconsistent with that end to defer it to the hour of death 'Tis true 'tis a good Viaticum for such as are in their way towards bliss, but it is too bold a hope, to fancy that it shall in an instant bring them into that way, who have their whole life posted on in the contrary: the roads to Heaven and Hell lie sure too far asunder to be within distance of one step, nor can it with any safety be presumed that once receiving at their death, shall expiate so many wilful neglects of it in their life. 64. But I shall suppose these total Omissions are not a common guilt: yet with many others the fault differs only in degree, they do not wholly omit, but yet come so infrequently as if they thought it a very arbitrary matter whether they come or no. And this truly is observable in many who seem to give good attendance on other parts of divine Worship, for indeed 'tis a sad spectacle to see, that let a Church be never so much crowded at Sermon, 'tis emtied in an instant when the Communion begins, people run as it were frighted from it, as if they thought with those in Malachy, that the table of our Lord is polluted, Mal. 1. 12. that some pest or infection would thence break forth upon them. A strange indignity to the Majesty, and ingratitude to the love of our Redeemer. Let a King, or but some great man make a public entertainment, how hard is it to keep back the pressing multitude: many Officers are necessary to repel the uninvited guests, and yet here there needs more to drive us to it, though the Invitation be moregeneral, and the Treat infinitely more magnificent. 65. I know this fault (like many other) shrouds itself under a fair disguise, and this barbarous neglect pretends to the humblest veneration. People say 'tis their great reverence they have for the Sacrament that keeps them at so great a distance; but sure that is but a fictitious reverence which discards obedience; and when Christ commands ou●… coming, our drawing back looks more like stubborness and rebellion, than awe and respect. I suppose we pretend not to exceed the Primitive Christians in humility and godly fear, and yet they communicated daily, and therefore sure our reverence is of a much differing make from theirs, if it produce such contrary effects. Indeed 'tis to be feared that many put a great cheat upon themselves in this matter. The Eucharist is justly accounted the highest of divine Ordinances, and those who think of no preparation in other, yet have some general impressions of the necessity of it in this; but the uneasiness of the task discourages them, they dare not come without a wedding garment, and yet are loath to be at the pains to put it on, so that all this goodly pretext of reverence, is but the Devil in samuel's Mantle, is but sloth clad in the habit of humility. 66. And to this temptation of sloth, there is another thing very subservient, and that is the easy and slight opinion which is commonly taken of sins of Omission, many are startled at great Commissions think them to carry a face of deformity and horror, who in the mean time look on Omissionsonly as privations and mere nothings, as if all the affirmative Precepts were only things of form, put in by Godrather to try our inclinations, then to oblige our performance; and so were rather overtures and proposals which we may assent to or not, than injunctions which at our peril we must obey. A fancy no less absurd than impious. That God should be content so to compound with his creatures (and like a Prince overpowered by his vassals) consent to remit all their homage, absolve them from all positive Duty, so they would be but so civil as not to fly in his face, or to commit outrage on his Person. But this wild imagination needs no other confutation, than that form of indictment our Saviour gives us as the Model of that which shall be used at the last day, Mat. 25. where the whole Process lies against sins of Omission, and yet the sentence is as dismal and irreversible, as if all the Commissions in the World had been put into the Bill. 67. And certainly of all Omissions none is like to be more severely charged then this of communicating, which is not only a disobedience, but an unkindness, which strikes not only at the Authority but the Love of our Lord, when he so affects a union with us that he creates Mysteries only to effect it, when he descends even to our sensuality, and because we want spiritual appetites, puts himself within reach of our natural; and as he once veiled his Divinity in flesh, so now veils even that flesh under the form of our corporal nourishment, only that he may the more indissolvably unite, yea incorporate himself with us. When I say he does all this, we are not only impious but inhuman if it will not attract us. Nay farther, when he does all this upon the most endearing memory of what he has before done for us, when he presents himself to our embraces in the same form wherein he presented himself to God for our expiation, whenhe shows us those wounds which our iniquities made, those stripes by which we were healed, that death by which we are revived, shall we to complete the Scene of his Passion, force him also to that pathetic complaint, Lam. 1. 12. Have ye no regard all ye that pass by? Shall we instead of smiting our breasts (as did other witnesses of his sufferings) turn our backs? If we can habitually do this, 'tis to be feared the next degree will be to wag our heads too, and we shall have the profaneness toderide, what we have not the Piety to commemorate. 68 And this seems to be no improbable fear, for in Religion there are gradual declinations as well as advances, coldness and tepidity will (if not stopped in its progress) quickly grow to loathing and contemt. And indeed to what can we more reasonably impute the great overflowings of profaneness among us, then to our ill-husbanding the means of Grace? Now certainly of all those means there is none of greater energy and power then the blessed Sacrament, 69. Were there no other benefit derived from it save that which the preparation implies, 'twere very consider able. It brings us to a recollection, fixes our indefinite purposes of searching and trying our ways, which else perhaps we should infinitely defer, stops our career in sin, and by acquainting us with ourselves, shows us where our danger lies, and how we are to avert it, what breaches are made in upon our souls, and how we must repair them, all which are with many seldom thought of, but when the time of communicating approaches. We live so far off from ourselves, know so little what is done in us that we answer the description the Prophet makes of the surprise of Babylon, of which the King knew nothing till post after post run to inform him that his City was taken at one end, Jer. 51. 31. we often lie secure while the enemy is within our walls, and therefore they are friendly alarms which the Sacrament gives us to look to our defence. But if when the Trumpet sounds none will prepare himself to the Battle, if when the Minister give▪ warning of a Sacrament, and the preparation it requires, we go our ways, and with Gallio care for none of th●…se things, or with Felix, Acts 24. 26. put it off to a convenient time, we wilfully expose ourselves, and 'tis but just Christ's dreadful menace should be executed upon us, that we die in our sins, who will frustrate such an opportunity of a rescu from them. 70. But 'tis not only this remoter and accidental advantage (this preventing Grace) which the Holy Eucharist affords, it contains yet greater and more intrinsic benefits, is a Spring of assisting Grace also, 'tis a Magazine of Spiritual Artillery to fortify us against all assaults of the Devil, the great Catholicon for all the Maladies of our Souls, that which if duly received, will qualify us to make St. Paul's boast, Phil. 4. 13. I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. In a word 'tis to us whatever we need, Wisdom, Righteousness, Sanctification, and redemption, because it possesses us of him who is so, 1 Cor. 1. 31. so that whenever we neglect it, we manifestly betray our own interest, and do implicitly chose death whilst we thus run from life. 71. Thus we see there is a concurrence of all forts of Arguments for this Duty, oh that some (at least) of them may prevail! If we are not tractable enough to do it in obedience▪ yet let us be so ingenious as to do it for Love, for Gratitude, or if for neither of those, let us be at least so wise as to do it for interest, and advantage. I know people are apt to pretend business, the Farm and the Oxen must excuse their coming to the Feast, but alas what business can there be of equal necessity or advantage with this? Yet even that Apology is superseded to those I now speak to, who as I observed before have lesure more then enough, so that it would be one part of the benefit, its taking up some of their time: let me therefore earnestly beseech them, not to grudge a few of their vacant hours to this so happy an employment. 72. Did any of their near Friends and Relations invite them to an interview, they would not think him too importune, though he repeated the summonsweekly, nay, daily, but would punctually observe the meeting: And when their Saviour much seldomer entreats their company, shall he not obtain it? must he never see them but at two or three solemn times of the year? and shall they wonder at any intervening invitation (as the Shunamites husband did at her going to the Prophet when it was neither new Moon nor Sabbath, 2 Ki. 4. 23.) and tell him 'tis not yet Easter or Christmas, this were not only to be irreligious but rude; and methinks those who stand so much upon the particulars of Ciulity to one another, should not then only lay aside their good manners when they are to treat with their Redeemer. Certainly he is not so unpleasant company that they need shun his converse: if he do appear so to any, 'tis that shunning that is the cause of it. He does not open his tresures to strangers: they that come now and then for form sake, no wonder if their entertainment, be as cold as their address. They that would indeed taste how sweet the Lord is, Psa. 34. 8. must by the frequency of their coming show the heartiness of it, and then they would indeed find it a feast of fat things, as the Prophet speaks. 73. In a word, let them but make experiment, resolve for a certain time (be it a year or thereabouts) to omit no opportunity, (and withal no due preparation) of co●…nicating, I am a little confident they will afterwards need no other importunity but that of their own longings: the expiration of that definite time will prove the beginning of an indefinite, and their resolutions will have no other limit but their lives. For certainly there is not in all the whole mystery of Godliness, in all the Oeconony of the Gospel, so expedite, so infallible a means of growth in Grace, as a frequent and worthy participation of this blessed Sacrament; I cannot therefore more pertinently close this Section, then with this exhortation to it, by which they will not only complete all their Devotions, crown and hollow the rest of their Oblations to God, but they will be advanced also in all parts of practical Piety▪ for though this and other sacred Offices be performed in the Church, the efficacy of them is not circumscribed within those walls, but follows the devout soul through all the occurrences of human life. 74. She that has intently considered the presence of God in the Sanctuary, has learned so much of his ubiquity, that she will not easily forget it in other places, and she that remembers that will need no other guard to secure her innocence, no other incentive to animate her endeavours, since she is viewed by him who is equally powerful to punish or reward, who regards not the persons of the mighty, nor can be awed into the connivance of a crime. Indeed a serious advertence to the divine Presence, is the most certain curb to all disorderly appetites, as on the contrary the not having God before their eyes, is in Scripture the comprehensive description of the most wretchless profligated state of sin. It concerns therefore all those who aspire to true Piety to nourish that awful sense in their hearts, as that which will best enable them to practise the Apostles advice, 2 Cor. 7▪ 1. To cleanse themselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, and to perfect holiness in the fear of God. 75. I am sensible that this Section is spun out to a length very unproportionable to the former; but as the principal wheel in an artificial movement may be allowed a bulk somewhat answerable to its use, so upon the same account, the size of this is not unjustifiable; the Piety which this designs to recommend being the one necessary thing, which must influence all other endowments. We know the course resemblance Solomon makes of a fair woman without discretion, that she is like a jewel of gold in a swin●…s sn●…ut, Prov. 11. 12. but even that discretion (if any such could be) without Piety were but the adding one jewel more, exposing another valuable thing to the same despicable ridiculous use. But to speak truly there is no real discretion, where there is no Religion: & therefore Solomon seems in this place to understand by it that practical Wisdom, which in the sacred Dialect (his writings especially) is equivalent to the fear of the Lord. 'Tis true, there may be a rallying wit to scoff and abuse, a serpentine Wiliness to undermine and deceive, but that sort of Wisdom (like that of Achitophel) finally converts into foolishness, does very often appear to do so in this life, but most certainly in the next, because it builds upon a falsebottom, prefers temporal things before eternal. And as neither beauty or wit (the two celebrated accomplishments of women) so will neither Greatness and Honour give any advantage without Piety, 'twill only (as hath been already observed) make them more exemplary sinners, inflame the account, and so expose them to a greater degree of condemnation, for sure 'tis not their Sex that will rescu them from the dismal denunciation of the Wise man. Wisd. 6. 6. Mighty men shall be mightily tormented, I conclude all with another irrefragable maxim of the same Author, Whether one be Rich, Noble, or Poor, their Glory is the Fear of the Lord. THE LADIES CALLING. Part II. Sect. I. Of Virgins. 1. WE have taken a view of those general qualifications, which are at once the duty and the ornament of the Female sex, considéred at large. These like the common Genius involve all; but there are also specific differences, arising from the several circumstances and states of life, some whereof may exact greater degrees even of the former virtues, & all may have some distinct & peculiar requisits adapted to that particular state and condition: and of these our proposed method engages us now to consider. Human life is full of vicissitudes and changes, so that 'tis impossible to enumerate all the lesser accidental alterations to which it is liable. But the principal & most distinct scenes, in which a woman can be supposed regularly to be an actor, are these three, Virginity, Marriage and Widowhood; which as they differ widely from each other, so for the discharging their respective duties, there are peculiar cautions worthy to be adverted to. 2. Virginity is first in order of time, and if we will take S. Paul's judgement in respect of excellence also, 1 Cor. 7. And indeed she that preserves herself in that state upon the account he mentions v. 33. that she may care for the things that are of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in Spirit, deserves a great deal of veneration, as making one of the nearest approaches to the Angelical State, And accordingly in the primitive time, such a Virginity was had in a singular estimation, and by the assignment of the Schoolmen, hath a particular coronet of glory belonging to it. Nay even among the heathens, a consecrated Virgin was looked on as a thing most sacred. The Roman Vestals had extraordinary privelidges allowed them by the state; and they were generally held in such reverence, that Testaments and other depositums of the greatest trust were usually committed to their custody, as to the surest and most inviolable Sanctuary. Nay their presence was so to convicted malefactors; the Magistrates veiling their fasces when they appeared, and giving up the criminal to the commanding intercession of Virgin innocence. 3. As for the religious orders of Virgins in the present Roman Church, though some and those very great abuses have crept in; yet I think 'twere to be wished, that those who suppressed them in this nation, had confined themselves within the bounds of a reformation, by choosing rather to rectify and regulate, then abolish them. 4. But though there be not among us such societies, yet there may be Nuns who are not Professed. She who has devoted her heart to God, and the better to secure his interest against the most insinuating rival of Human Love, intends to admit none, and prays that she may not; does by those humble purposes consecrate herself to God, and perhaps more acceptably, then if her presumption should make her more positive, and engage her in a vow she is not sure to perform. 5. But this is a case does not much need stating in our Clime, wherein women are so little transported with this zeal of voluntary Virginity, that there are but few can find patience for it when necessary. An old maid is now thought such a curse, as no Poetic fury can exceed; looked on as the most calamitous creature in nature. And I so far yield to the opinion, as to confess it so to those who are kept in that state against their wills: but sure the original of that misery is from the desire, not the restraint of Marriage: let them but suppress that o●…ce, and the other will never be their infelicity. But I must not be so unkind to the sex, as to think 'tis always such desire that gives them aversion to Celibacy; I doubt not many are frighted only with the vulgar contemt under which that state lies: for which if there be no cure, yet there is the same armour against this which is against all other causeless reproaches, viz. to contemn it. Yet I am a little apt to believe there may be a prevention in the case. If the superannuated virgins would behave themselves with gravity and reservedness, addict themselves to the strictest virtue and piety, they would give the world some cause to believe, 'twas not their necessity but their choice which kept them unmarried; that they were preengaged to a better Amour; espoused to the spiritual Bridegroom: & this would give them among the soberer sort at least the reverence and esteem of Matrons. Or if after all caution and endeavour, they chance to fall under the tongues of malicious slanderers; this is no more than happens in all other instances of duty: and if contemt be to be avoided, Christianity itself must be quitted, as well as virgin Chastity. But if on the other side they endeavour to disguise their age, by all the impostures and gaieties of a youthful dress and behaviour, if they still herd themselves among the youngest and vainest company, betray a young mind in an aged body; this must certainly expose them to scorn and censure. If no play no ball, or dancing meeting can escape them, people will undoubtedly conclude that they desire, to put off themselves, to meet with chapmen, who so constantly keep the fairs. I wish therefore they would more universally try the former expedient, which I am confident is the best amulet against the reproach they so much dread, and may also deliver them from the danger of a more costly remedy, I mean that of an unequal and imprudent match, which many have rushed upon as they have ran frighted from the other, and so by an unhappy contradiction, do both stay long and marry hastily, gall their neck to spare their ears, and run into the yok rather than hear so slight and unreasonable a reproach. They need not, I think, be upbraided with the folly of such an election, since their own experience ●…s (to many of them) but too severe a monitor. I shall not insi●…t farther on this, but having given the elder virgins that ensign of their seniority as to stand first in my discourse, I shall now address more generally to the rest. 6. And here the two grand elements essential to the Virgin state are Modesty and Obedience, which, though necessary to all, yet are in a more eminent degree required here; and therefore, though I have spoken largely of the virtue of Modesty in the first part of this tract, yet it will not be impertinent to make some farther reflections on it, by way of application to Virgins, in whom modesty should appear in its highest elevation, and should come up to Shamefacedness. Her look, her speech, her whole behaviour should own an humble distrust of herself; she is to look on herself, but as a novice, a probationer in the world, and must take this time, rather to learn and observe, then to dictate & prescribe. Indeed there is scarce any thing looks more indecent, then to see a young maid too forward and confident in her talk. 'Tis the opinion of the wiseman, Ecclus. 32. 8. that a young man should scarce speak though twice asked: in proportion to which, 'twill sure not become a young woman, whose sex puts her under greater restraints, to be either importunate or magisterial in her discourse. And though that which former ages called Boldness, is now only Assurance and good breeding, yet we have seen such bad superstructures upon that foundation, as sure will not much recommend it to any considering person. 7. But there is another breach of Modesty as it relates to Chastity, in which they are yet more especially concerned. The very name of virgin imports a most critical niceness in that point. Every indecent curiosity, orimpure fancy, is adeflowring of the mind, & every the least corruption of them gives some degrees of defilement to the body too: for between the state of pure immaculate Virginity & arrant Prostitution there are many intermedial steps, and she that makes any of them, is so far departed from her first integrity. She that listens to any wanton discourse, has violated her ears; she that speaks any, her tongue; every immodest glance vitiates her eye, and every the lightest act of dalliance leaves something of stain and sullage behind it. There is therefore a most rigorous caution requisite herein: for as nothing is more clean and white than a perfect Virginity, so every the least spot or soil is the more discernible. Besides, youth is for the most part flexible, & easily warps into a crookedness, and therefore can never set itself too far from a temptation. Our tender blossoms we are fain to screen and shelter, because every unkindly air nips and destroys them; and nothing can be more nice and delicate than a maiden vertu, which ought not to be exposed to any of those malignant airs which may blast and corrupt it, of which God knows there are too many, some that blow from within, and others from without. 8. Of the first sort there is none more mischievous than Curiosity, a temptation which foiled human Nature even in Paradise: and therefore sure a feeble girl ought not to trust herself with that which subdued her better fortified parent. The truth is, an affected ignorance cannot be so blamable in other cases as it is commendable in this. Indeed it is the surest & most invincible guard, for she who is curious to know indecent things, 'tis odds but she will too soon and too dearly buy the learning. The suppressing and detesting all such curiosities is therefore that eminent fundamental piece of continence I would recommend to them, as that which will protect and secure all the rest. 9 But when they have set this guard upon themselves, they must provide against foreign assaults too; the most dangerous whereof I take to be ill Company, and Id'eness. Against the first they must provide by a prudent choice of conversation, which should generally be of their own sex; yet not all of that neither, but such who will at least entertain them innocently, if not profitably. Against the second they may secure themselves by a constant series of employments: I mean not such frivolous ones as are more idle than doing nothing; but such as are ingenuous, and some way worth their time, wherein as the first place is to be given to the offices of piety, so in the intervals of those, there are divers others, by which they may not unusefully fill up the vacancies of their time: such are the acquiring of any of those ornamental improvements which become their quality, as Writing, Needle works, Languages, Music, or the like. If I should here insert the art of Oeconomy and Household Managery, I should not think I affronted them in it; that being the most proper feminine business, from which neither wealth nor greatness can totally absolve them; and a little of the theory in their parentshouse, would much assist them towards the practic when they come to their own. In a word there are many parts of knowledge useful for civil as well as divine life; and the improving themselves in any of those is a rational employment. 10. But I confess I know not how to reduce to that head many of those things which from divertisements are now stepped up to be the solemn business of many young Ladies, (& I doubt of some old;) such is in the first place gaming, a recreation whose lawfulness I question not, whilst it keeps with the bounds of a recreation: but when it sets up for a calling, I knownot whence it derives its licence. And a calling sure it seems to be with some, a laborious one too, such as they toil night and day at, nay do not allow themselves that remission which the laws both of God and man have provided for the meanest mechanic: the Sabbath is to them no day of rest, but this trade goes on when all shops are shut. I know not how they satisfy themselves in such an habitual waist of their time, (besides all the incidental faults of avarice and anger) but I much doubt that plea, whatsoever it is, which passes with them, will scarcehold weight at his Tribunal, who has commanded us to redeem, not fling away our time. 11. There is another thing to which some devote a very considerablepart oftheir time, and that is the reading Romances, which seems now to be thought the peculiar and only becoming study of young Ladies. I confess their youth may a little adapt it to them when they were children, and I wish they were always in their event asharmless; but I fear they often leave ill impressions behind them. Those amorous passions, which 'tis their design to paint to the utmost life, are apt to insinuate themselves into their unwary readers, and by an unhappy inversion, a copy shall produce an original. When a poor young creature shall read there of some triumphant Beauty, that has I know not how many captived Knights prostrate at her feet, she will probably be tempted to think it a fine thing; and may reflect how much she loses time, that has not yet subdued one heart: and then her business willbe to spreadher nets; lay her toils to catch somebody, who will more fatally ensnare her. And when she has once wound herself into an amour, those Authors are subtle casuists for all difficult cases that may occur in it, will instruct in the necessary Artifices of deluding Parents and Friends, and put her ruin perfectly in her own power. And truly thisseems to beso natural a consequent of this sort of study, that of all the divertisements that look so innocently, they can scarce fall upon any more hazardous. Indeed it is very difficult to imagine what vast mischief isdon to the World, by the false notions and images of things; particularly of Love and Honour, those noblest concerns of human life, represented in these Mirrors: but when we consider upon what principles the Duelists and Hectors of the Age defend their outrages; and how great adevotion ispaid to lust, insteadof virtuous Love; we can not be to seek for the Gospel which makes these doctrines appear orthodox. 12. As for the entertainments which they find abroad, they may be innocent, or otherwise according as they are managed. The common intercourse ofCivilityis adebt to Humanity, and therefore mutual visits may often be necessary, and so (in some degree) may be several harmless and healthful recreations which may call them abroad; for I write not now to Nuns, and have no purpose to confine them to a Cloister. Yet on the other side to be always wand'ring, is the condition of a vagabond, and of the two 'tis better to be a Prisoner to ones home, than a Stranger. Solomon links it with some very unlaudable qualities ofa Woman Pro. 7. 11. that her feet abide not in her house, and 'tis an unhappy impotence not to be able to stay at home, when there is any thing to be seen abroad; that any mask, or revel, any jollity of others must be their rack and torment, if they can not get to it. Alas such meetings are not so sure to be safe, that they had need be frequent, and they are of all others lest like to be safe to those, who much dote on them: and therefore those that find they do so, had need to counterbiass their minds, and set them to something better, and by more serious entertainments supplant those vanities, which at thebest are childis●…; and may oftenprove worse; it being tooprobable that thoseDinah's which are stillgadding, though onpretence to see only the daughters of the land Gen. 34. may at last meet with a son ofHamor. 13. There is also another great devourer of time subservient to theformer, I mean dressing: for they that Love to be seen much abroad, will be sure to be seen in the most exact form. And this is an employment that does not steal but challenge their time; what they wast here is cum Privilegio, it beingby the verdict ofthis age theproper business, the one science wherein ayoungLady is to be perfectly versed; so that now all virtuous emulation is converted into this single ambition, who shall excel in this faculty. A vanity which I confess is more excusable in the younger than the elder sort; they being supposable not yet to have outworn the relics of their childhood, to which toys andgaiety were proportionable. Besides 'tis sure allowable upon a soberer account, that they who design Marriage should give themselves the advantage of decent ornaments, and not by the negligent rudeness of their dress belly Nature, and render themselves less amiable than the has made them. But all this being granted, 'twill by no meansjustify that excessivecuriosity andsolicitude, that expense of time and money too which is now used; a verymoderate degree of all thosewill serve for that ordinarydecency which theyneed provide for, will keepthem from the reproach of an affected singularity, which is as much as a sober person need take care for. And I must take leave to say, that in order to marriage, such a moderation is muchlikelier to succeedthen the contraryextravagance. Among theprudenter sort of men I am sure it is, if it be not among the loose and vain, against which 'twill be their guard, and so do them the greater service: for certainly he that chooses a wife for thosequalities for which a wise man would refuse her, understands so little what marriage is, as portends nogreat felicity toher thatshall havehim But if they desireto marry men of sobriety and discretion, they are obliged in justice to bring the same qualities they expect, which will be very ill evidenced by that excess and vanity we nowspeak of. 14. For to speak a plain (though perhaps ungrateful truth, this (together with some of the modish liberties now in use) is it, which keeps so many young Ladies about the Town unmarried till they lose the epithet of young. Sober men are afraid to venture upon a humour so disagreeingto their own lest whilst (according to the primitive reason of marriage) they seek a help, they espouse a ruin. But this is especially dreadful to a plain Country. Gentleman, who looks upon one of these fine women as a Gaudy Idol, to whom if he once become a votary, he must sacrifice a great part of his fortune, and all his content. How reasonable that apprehension is, the many wracks of considerable familiesdo too evidently attest. But I presumesome of the nicer Ladies havesuch a contemt of anything that they please to call rustic, that they will not much regret the averting of those whom they so despise. They will not perhaps while they are in pursuit or hopes of others; but when those fail, these will be looked on as a welcome reserve, and therefore 'twill be no prudence to cut themselves off from that last resort, lest they (as many have done) betake themselves to much worse. For as in many instances 'tis the Country which feeds and maintains the grandeur of the Town, so of all commerces there, marriage would soon fail, if all Rural supplies were cut off. 15. But I have pursued this speculation farther than perhapsmy virgin readerswill thankme for, I shall return to that which it was brought to enforce, and beseech them that if not to Men, yet to approve themselves to God, they will confine themselves in the matter of their dress within the du limits of decency and sobriety. Ishall not direct them to those strictrules which Tertullian and some other of the ancient Fathers have prescribed in this matter; my petition is only that our virgins would at least so take care of their bodies, as Persons that also have a soul; which if they can be persuaded to, they may reserve much of their time for more worthy ●…ses then those of the Comb, the Tuillets, and the Glass. And truly 'tis not a little their concern to do so, for this spring of their age is that critical instant that must either confirm or blast the hopes of all the succeeding seasons. The minds of young people are usually compared to a blank sheet of paper, equally capable of the best or the worst impressions; 'tis pity they should be filled with childish scrawls, and little insignificant figures, but 'tis shame and horror they should be stained with any vicious characters, any blots of impurity or dishonour. To prevent which let the ●…everestnotions of modesty and honour be early and deeply impest upon their souls, graven as with the point of a Diamond, that they may be as indelible as they are indispensibly necessary to the virgin state. 16. There is also another very requisite quality, and that is Obedience. The younger sort ofvirgins are supposed to have parents, or if any has binso unhappy as to lose them early, they commonly are left in the charge of some friend or guardian, that is to supply the place; so that they cannot be to seek to whom this obedience is to be paid. And it is not more their duty then their interest to pay it. Youth is apt to be foolish in it its designs, & heady in the pursuit of them; and there can be nothing more deplorable then to have it left to its self. And therefore God, who permits not even the brutes to destitute their young ones till they attain to the perfection of their kind, has put children under the guidance and protection of their parents, till by the maturing of their judgements they are qualified to be their own conductors. Now this Obedience (as that which is due to all other superiors) is to extend itself to all things that are either good or indifferent, and has no clause of exception, but only where the command is unlawful. And in so wide a scene of action there will occur so many particular occasions of submission, that they had need have a great reverence of their parents judgements, and distrust of their own. And if it should happen that some parents are not qualified to give them the former, yet the general imbecility of their age, will remain a constant ground of the later: so that they may safelier venture themselves to their parent's misguidance, than their own; by how much the errors of humility and obedience, are less malignant than those of presumption and arrogance. 16. But this is a doctrine which will scarce pass for orthodox with many of the young women of our days, withwhom 'tis prejudice enoughagainst the prudentest advice that it comes from their parents. 'Tis the grand ingenuity of these times to turn every thing into Ridicule; and if a girl can but rally smartly upon the sober admonition of a parent, she concludes she is the abler person; takes herself for a wit, and the other for a fop; (a bugbear word devised to fright all seriousness and sobriety out of the World;) and learns not only to disobey but to contemn. Indeed the great confidence thatyouth now seems to have of its self, as it is very indecent, soisit extremely pernicious. Children that will attemt to go alone before their time, oft get dangerous falls; and when those who are but little removed from children, shall cast off the wiser conductof others, they oft sadly miscarry by their own, 18. I know this age has so great a contemt of the former, that 'tis but matter of scorn to allege any of their customs, else I should say that the liberties that are taken now, would then have been startled at. They that should then have seen young maid rambling abroad without her mother or some other prudent person, would have looked on her as a stray, and thought it but a neighbourly office to have brought her home; whereas now 'tis a rarity to see them in any company graver than themselves, and she that goes with her parent (unless it besuch a parent as is as wild as herself) thinks she does but walk abroad with her jailer. But sure there are no small mischiefs that attend this liberty, for it leaves them perfectly to the choice of their company, a thing of too weighty an importance for giddy heads to determine; who will besure to elect such as are of their own humour, with whom they may keep up a traffic of little impertinencies and trifling entertainments; and so by consequence condemn themselves never to grow wiser which they might do by an ingenuous conversation. Nay 'tis well if that negative ill be the worst, for it gives opportunity to any that have ill designs upon them. It will be easy getting into their company, who have no guard to keep any body out, and as easy by little compliances & flatteries to insinuate into their good graces, who have not the sagacity to discern to what insidious purposes those blandishments are directed; and when they once begin to nibble at the bait, to be pleased with the Courtship, 'tis great odds they do not escape the hook. 19 Alas how many poor innocent creatures have been thus indiscernibly ensnared; have at first perhaps only liked the wit and raillery, perhaps the language and address, than the freedom and good humour; till at last they come to like the person. It is therefore a most necessary caution for young women, not to trust too much to their own conduct, but to own their dependence on those, to whom God and nature has subjected them, and to look on it not as their restraint and burden, but as their shelter and Protection. For where once the authority of a parent comes to be despised, though in the lightest instance, it lays the foundation of utmost disobedience. She that will not be prescribed to in the choice of her ordinary diverting company, will less be so in choosing the fixed companion of her life; and we find it often eventually true, that those who govern themselves in the former, will not be governed by their friends in the latter, but by pre-engagements of their own prevent their elections for them. 20. And this is one of the highest injuries they can do their parents, who have such a native right in them, that 'tis no less an injustice than disobedience to dispose of themselves without them. This right of the parent is so undoubted, that we find God himself gives way to it, and will not suffer the most holy pretence▪ no not that of a Vow, to invade it as we may see his own stating of the case Numb 30. How will he then rese●…t it, to have his so indispensible a●…aw violated upon the impulse of an impotent passion, an amorous inclination? Nor is the folly less than the sin: they injure and afflict their parents, but they generally ruin and undo themselves. And that upon a double account, first as to the secular part. Those that are so rash as to make such matches, cannot be imagined so provident as to examine how agreeable 'tis to their interest; or to contrive for any thing beyond the marriage. The thoughts of their future temporal conditions (like those of the eternal) can find no room amidst their foolish raptures; but as if love were indeed that Deity which the Poets feigned, they depend on it for all, and take no farther care. And event does commonly too soon instruct them in the deceitfulness of that trust; love being so unable to support them, that it cannot maintain its self; but quickly expires when it has brought the lovers into those straits, from whence it cannot rescu them. So that indeed it does but play the decoy with them, brings them into the noose and then retires. For when secular wants begin to pinch them, all the transports of their kindness do usually convert into mutual accusations, for having made each other miserable. 21. And indeed there is no reason to expect any better event, because in the second place they forfeit their title to the divine blessing; nay they put themselves out of the capacity to ask it, it being a ridiculous impudence to beg God to prosper the transgressions of his law. Such weddings seem to invoke only some of the Poetic Romantic Deities, Venus & Hymen, from whence they derive a happiness as fictitious as are the Gods that are to send it. Let all Virgins therefore religiously observe this part of Obedience to their parents, that they may not only have their benediction but Gods. And to that purpose let this be laid as a fundamental rule, that they never hearken to any proposal of marriage made them from any other hand; but when any such overture is made, divert the address from herself and direct it to her parents, which will be the best test imaginable for any pretender: for if he know himself worthy of her, he will not fear to avow his design to them; and therefore if he decline that, 'tis a certain symptom, he is conscious of something that he knows will not give a valuable consideration; so that this course will repel no suitor but such as it is their interest not to admit. Besides 'tis most agreeable to the virgin modesty, which should make marriage an act rather of their obedience then their choice; and they that think their friends too flow paced in the matter, and seek to outrun them, give cause to suspect they are spurred on by somewhat too warm desires. 22. But as a Daughter is neither to anticipate, nor contradict the will of her Parent, so (to hang the balance even) I must say she is not obliged to force her own, by marrying where she cannot love; for a negative voice in the case is sure as much the child's right as the Parent●…s. It is true she ought well to examine the grounds of her aversion, and if they prove only childish and fanciful, should endeavour to correct them by reason and sober consideration; but if after all she cannot leave to hate, I think she should not proceed to marry. I confess I see not how she can without a sacrilegious hypocrisy, vow so solemnly to love where she at the instant actually abhors: and where the married state is begun with such a perjury, 'tis no wonder to find it continued on at the same rate, that other parts of the vow be also violated; and that she observe the negative part no more than the positive, and as little forsake others, as she does heartily cleave to her husband. I fear this is a consequence whereof there are too many sad instances now extant; for though doubtless, there are some Virtues which will hold out against all the temtations their a versions can give, nay which do at last even conquer those a versions, and render their duty as easy as they have kept it safe; yet we find there are but some that do so: that it is no inseparable property of the sex, and therefore it is sure too hazardous an experiment for any of them to venture on. 23. And if they may not upon the more generous motive of Obedience, much less may they upon the worse inducements of Avarice and Ambition; for a woman to make a vow to the man, and yet intent only to marry his fortune, or his title, is the basest insincerity and such as in any other kind of civil contracts, would not only have the infamy but the punishment of a cheat. Nor will it at all secure them, that this is only liable to God's tribunal, for that is not like to make the doom less but more heavy, it being as the Apostle witnesses, a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. Heb. 20. 31. In a word, marriage is God's ordinance, & should be considered as such; not made a stale to any unworthy design. And it may well be presumed one cause why so few matches are happy, that they are not built upon a right foundation. Some are grounded upon wealth, some on beauty, too sandy bottoms God knows to raise any lasting felicity on: whilst in the interim, virtue & piety, the only solid Basis for that superstructure, are scarce ever considered. Thus God is commonly left out of the consultation. The Lawyers are resorted to, to secure the settlements all sorts of Artificers to make up the equipage, but he is neither advised with as to the motives, nor scarce supplicated as to the event of wedding. Indeed 'tis a deplorable sight to see with what lightness & unconcernedness young people go to that weightiest action of their lives, that a marriage day is but a kind of Bacchanal, a more licenced a vowed revel, when if they duly considered it, 'tis the hinge upon which their future life moves, which turns them over to a happy or miserable being; & therefore aught to be entered upon with the greatest seriousness and devotion. Our Church advises excellently in the preface to matrimony, & I wish they would not only give it the hearing at the time, but make it their study a good while before: yea and the marriage-vow too, which is so strict and awful a bond, that methinks they had need well weigh every branch of it, ere they enter it; and by the ferventest prayers implore that God, who is the witness, to be their assistant too in its performance. SECT. II. Of Wives. 1. AND now having conducted the virgin to the entrance of another state, I must shift the Scene and attend her thither also. And here she is launched into a wide sea, that one relation of a wife drawing after it many others: for as she espouses the man s●…she does his obligations also; and wherever he by ties of nature or alliance owes a reverence or kindness, she is no less a debtor. Her marriage is an adoption into his family, and therefore she is to every branch of it to pay what their stations there do respectively require: to define which more particularly, would be a work of more length than profit. I shall therefore confine the present consideration to the relation she stands in to her husband, & (what is usually concomitant with that) her children, and her servants, and so shall consider her in the three capacities of a Wife, a Mother, and a Mistress. 2. In that of a Wife her duty has several aspects, ●…s it relates, first to his Person, secondly to his Reputation, thirdly to his Fortune. The first debt ●…o his person is Love, which we find set as the ●…rime Article in the marriage vow; & indeed that ●…s the most essential requisite; without this 'tis ●…nly a Bargain and Compact, a Tyranny perhaps on the man's part, and a Slavery on the woman's. 'Tis Love only that cements the hearts, and where that union is wanting, 'tis but a shadow, a carcase of marriage. Therefore as it is very necessary to bring some degree of this, to this State; so 'tis no less to maintain and improve it in it. This is it which facilitats all other duties of marriag; makes the yoke sit so lightly, that it rather pleases than galls. It should therefore be the study of Wives to preserve this flame; that like the vestal fire it may never go out: and to that end carefully to guard it from all those things which are naturally apt to extinguish it; of which kind are all frowardness and little perverseness of humour; all sullen and morose behaviour, which by taking off from the delight and complacency of conversation, will by degrees wear off the kindness. 3. But of all I know nothing more dangerous than that unhappy passion of Jealousy, which th●… 'tis said to be the child of love, yet like the viper, its birth is the certain destruction of the parent As therefore they must be nicely careful to give their husbands no colour, no lest unbrage for it▪ so should they be as resolute to resistall that occurs to themselves, be so far from that busy curiosity that industry to find causes of suspicion; that eve●… where they presented themselves, they should avert the consideration; put the most candid construction upon any doubtful action. And indee●… charity in this instance, has not more of the Dov●… then of the Serpent. It is infinitely the wises●… course, both in relation to her present quiet, and her future innocence. The entertaining a jealous fancy, is the admitting the most treacherous the most disturbing inmate in the World, & she opens her breast to a fury that lets it in. 'Tis certainly one of the most enchanting 〈◊〉 imaginable, keeps her always in a most restless importunate search after that which she dreads and abhors to find, and makes her equally miserable when she is injured, and when she is not. 4. And as she totally loses her ease, so 'tis odds but she will part also with some degrees of her innocence. Jeolousy is commonly attended with a black train; it musters all the forces of our irascible part, to abet its quarrel; Wrath and Anger, Malice and Revenge: and by how much the female impotence to govern those passions is the greater; so much the more dangerous is it to admit that which will so surely set them in an uproar. For if Jealousy be as the wise man says the rage of a man Prov. 6. 32. we may well think it may be the fury the madness of a woman; and indeed all ages have given tragical instances of it, not only in the most indecent fierceness and clamour but in the solemn mischiefs of actualrevenges. Nay 'tis tobedoubted therehave been somewhose malice has rebounded, and have ruined themselves in spite; have been adulterous by way of retaliation: and taken more scandalous liberties than those they complained of in their husbands. And when such enormous effects as these are the issues of jealousy; it ought to keep women on the strictest guard against it. 5. But perhaps it may be said that some are not left to their Jealousy and conjectures; but have moredemonstrativeproofs. In this age 'tis indeed no strange thing for men to publish their sin as Sodom, and the offender does sometimes not discover but boast his crime. In this case I confess 'twill be scarce possible to disbelieve him; but even here a wife has this advantage, that she is out of the pain of Suspense; she knows the utmost, and therefore is now at lesure to convert all that industry which she would have used for the discovery, to fortify herself against a known calamity; which sure she may as well do in this as in any other; a patient Submission being the one Catholicon in all distresses; and as the slightest can overwhelm us if we add our own impatience towards our sinking; so the greatest cannot, if we deny it that aid. They are therefore far in the wrong, who in case of this injury pursue their husband's withvirulencies and reproaches. This is as Solomon says Pro. 25. 20. Thepowringvinegar upon niter, applyingcorrosives whenbalsoms are most needed; whereby they not only increase their own smart, but render the wound incurable. They are not thunders and earthquakes, but soft gentle rains that close the scissures of the ground; and the breaches of Wedlock will never be cemented by storms and loud outcries. Many men have been made worse, but scarce ever any better by it; for guilt covets nothing more than an opportunity of recriminating; and where the husband can accuse the wife's bitterness, he thinks he needs no other apology for his own lust. 6. A Wise Dissimulation, or very calm notice is sure the likeliest means of reclaiming, for where men have not wholly put off humanity, there is a native compassion to a meek sufferer. We have naturally some regret to see a Lamb under the knife; whereas the impatient roaring of a swine diverts our pity; so that Patience in this case is as much the interest as duty of a Wife. 7. But there is another instance wherein that virtue has yet a severer trial, and that is when a Wife lies under the causeless jealousies of the husband, (I say causeless, for if they be just 'tis not so much a season for patience, as for repentance and reformation.) This is sure one of the greatest calamities that can befall a virtuous woman, who as she accounts nothing so dear as her loialty and honour; so thinks no infelicity can equal the aspersing of those; especially when 'tis from him, towhomshe has been the most solicitous to approve herself. Yet God who permits nothing but what he directs to some wise and gracious end, has an overruling hand in this as well as in all other events of life; and therefore it becomes every woman in that condition, to examine strictly what she has done to provoke so severe a scourge; for though her heart condemn her not of any falseness to her husband, yet probably it may of many disloialties to her God, and then she is humbly to accept even of this traducing of her innocence, as the punishment of her iniquity, and bear it with the same temper wherewith David did the unjust revile of Shimei 2 Kings 16. 10. Let him curse, for the Lord hath bidden him. 8. And when she hath made this penitent reflection on her real guilts, she may then with more courage encounter those imaginary ones which are charged on her; wherein she is to use all prudent and regular means for her justification, that being a debt she owes to truth, and her own fame; but if after all, the suspicion remains still fixed (as commonly those which are the most unreasonable are the most obstinate) she may still solace herself in her integrity, and God's approbation of it. Nor ought she to think herself desolate, that has her appeal open to heaven. Therefore whilst she can look both inward and upward with comfort, why should she choose to fix her eyes only on the object of her grief; and whilst her own complaint is of defamation, why should she so dishonour God and a good conscience, as to show any thing can be more forcible to oppress, than they are to relieve and support? And if she may not indulge to grief, much less may she to anger, and bitterness. 9 Indeed if she consider how painful a passion jealousy is, her husband will more need her pity, who though he be unjust to her, is yet cruel to himself; and as we do not use to hate and malign those Lunatics who in their fits beat their friends, and cut and gash themselves, but rather make it our care to put all harmful engines out of their way; so should the wife not despitefully ruminate upon the injury, but wisely to contrive to avert his temtations to more; by denying herself even the most innocent liberties, if she see they dissatisfy him. I know there have been some of another opinion, and as if they thought jealousy were to be cured by majoration, have in an angry contemt don things to inflame it; put on an unwonted freedom and jollity, to show their husbands how little they had secured themselves by their distrust. But this as it is no Christian, so I conceive it is no prudent expedient; it serves to stengthen not only the husband's suspicion, but his party too, and make many others of his mind; and 'tis a little to be feared, that by using so to brave the Jealousy, they may at last come to verify it. I have been the longer on this theme, because as Jealousy is the most fatal pest of a married life, so I think it more ordinarily occurs among people of quality, and with the worst and most durable effects; yet what ever pretences people may take hence, the marriage vow is too fast a knot to be loosened by fancies and chimaeras; let a woman therefore be the person suspecting or suspected, neither will absolve her from that love to her husband she has sworn to pay. 10. But alas what hope is there that these greater temptations shall be resisted, when we see every the slightest disgust is now adays too strong for the matrimonial love, nay indeed it does of course fall off of itself, which is an event so much expected, that 'tis no wonder to see it expire with the first circuit of the moon; but it is every body's admiration to see it last one of the sun; and sometimes it vanishes so clearly, as not to leave so much as a shadow behind it, not so much as the formalities of marriage; one bed, one house cannot hold them, as if they had been put together like case-shot in a gun, only that they might the more forcibly scatter several ways. Nay as if this were designed and intended in the first addresses unto marriage; a separate maintenance is of course aforehand contracted for, and becomes as solemn a part of the settlement, as a Jointure is. Plutarch observes of the ancient Romans, that f r 230. years after founding of their state, there never was one example of any married couple that separated▪ it is not likely they could have a more binding form of marriage than ours is, the difference must lie between their v●…racity and our falseness. 11. But even amongst those who desert not each other, too many do mutually fall from that entireness and affection which is the soul of marriage; and to help on the declination, there are fashionable Maxims taken up, to make men and their wives the greatest strangers to each other: Thus 'tis pronounced a piece of ill Breeding, a sign of a country Gentleman, to see a man go abroad with his own wife (I suppose those who brought up these rules are not to seek what use to make of them) and were the time of most of the modish couples computed, itwould be sound they are but few of their waking hours (I might say minutes) together; so, that if nothing else, mere desuetude and intermission of conversation must needs allay, if not quite extinguish their kindness. But I hope there are yet many who do not think the authority of a fashion greaterthenthat of a vow; & such will still think it▪ their duty both to own and cherish that kindness and affection they have so solemnly promised. 12. Another debt to the person of a husband is Fidelity: sor as she has espoused all his interests, so she is obliged to be true to them, to keep all his secrets, to inform him of his dangers, yea and in a mild and gentle manner to admonish him of his faults. This is the most genuine act of friendship; therefore she who is placed in the nearest and most intimate degree of that relation, must not be wanting in it. She that lies in his bosom should be a kind of second conscience to him, by putting him in mind both of his duty and his aberrations, and as long as she can be but patiently heard 'tis her sin to omit it; 'tis the greatest treachery to his noblest, to his immortal part, and such as the most officious cares of his other interests can never expiate. Nay indeed she is unfaithful to herself in it, there being nothing that does so much secure the happiness of a Wife as the virtue and piety of the husband. Yet, though this is to have her chiefest care, as being his principal interest, she is to neglect none of the inferior, but contribute her utmost to his advantage in all his concerns. 13. Beyond all these the matrimonial fidelity has a special notion as it relates to the Bed; & in that the wise is to be most severely scrupulous, & never to admit so much as a thought or imagination, much less any parley or treaty contrary to her loialty. 'tis true wantonness is one of the foulest blots that can slain any of the sex; but 'tis infinitely more odious in the married, it being in them an accumulation of crimes; perjury added to uncleanness; the infamy of their family superstructed upon their own; and accordingly all laws have made a difference in their punishments. Adultery was by Gods own award punished with death among the Jews, Levit. 20. 10. And it seems it was so agreeable to natural justice, that divers other nations did the like; and I know no reason, but the difficulty of detection, that should any where give it a milder sentence. The son of Sirach has excellently described the several gradations of the guilt Ecclus. 23. 1. which I shall desire the Reader to consult: which who so does must certainly wonder at the Alchemy of this age, that from such a mass of shame and infamy can extract matter of confidence, that those who lie under so many brands and stigmas, are so far from hiding their faces, that none show them with so much boldness; and the assurance of the guilty far exceeds that of the innocent. But impudence is a slender shelter for guilt; and serves rather to betray then hide; so that theyare not able to outface the opinions of men; much less can they the judgements of God; who as He was solemnly invoked as witness to their vow, so by his omnipresence is against their wills a witness too of its violations. 14. Another duty to the person of the husband is obedience, a word of a very harsh sound in the ears of some wives, but is certainly the duty of all: and that not only by their promise of it, though that were sufficient; but from an original of much older date, it being the mulct that was laid upon the first woman's disobedience to God, that she (and all derived from her) should be subject to the husband; so that the contending for superiority, is anattemt to reverse thatfundamentallaw, which is almost as ancient as the World. But surely God with whom there is no shadow of change, will not make acts of repeal to satisfy the petulancy of a few masterless women. That statute will stillstand in force, and if it cannot awe them into an observance, will not fail to consign them topunishment. And indeed this fault is commonly its own lictor, and does anticipate (though not avert) its final doom. Theimperiousness ofawomandos oftenraise those storms, wherein herself isshipwracked. How pleasantly might many women have lived if they had not affected dominion. Nay how much of their will might they have had, if they had not struggled for it. For let a man be of never so gentle a temper (unless his head be softer than his heart) such a usurpation will awake him to assert his right. But if he be of a sour severe nature; if he have as great a desire of rule as she, backed with a much better title, what tempests what Hurricanes must two such opposite winds produce? And at last 'tis commonly the wife's lot, after an uncreditable unjust war, to make as disadvantageous a peace; this (like all other ineffective rebellions) serving to straiten her yoke, to turn an ingenuous subjection into a slavish servitude: so that certainly it is not only the virtue, but the wisdom of wives to do that upon duty, which at last they must (with more unsupportable circumstances.) do upon necessity. 15. And as they owe these severals to the person of the husband, so there is also a debt to his reputation. This they are to be extremely tender of, to advance it, by making all that is good in him as conspicuous, as public as they can; setting his worth in the clearest light, but putting his infirmities in the shade; casting a veil upon those to screen them from the eyes of others, nay (as far as is possible) from their own too; there being nothing acquired to the wifeby contemplating the husband's weakness, but a temptation of despising him; which though bad enough in itself, is yet rendered worse by that train of mischievous consequences which usually attend it. In case therefore of any notable imperfections in him, her safest way will be to consider them no farther than she can be instrumental to the curing them; but to divert from those, and reflect upon her own▪ which perhaps if impartially weighed, may balance▪ if not overpoi●… his. And indeed those wives who are apt blaze their husband's faults, do show that they have either little adverted to theirown, orelse find them so great, that they are forced to that art of diversion, and seek in his infamy to drown theirs. But that project is a little unlucky, for nothing does in sober judges create greaterprejudice to a woman, then to see her forward in impeaching her husband 16. But besides this immediate tenderness of his reputation, there is another by way of reflection, which consists in a care that she herself do nothing which may redound to his dishonour: there is so strict union between a man and his wife, that the law counts them one person, and consequently they can have no divided interest, so that the misbehavior of the woman reflects ignominiously on the man; it therefore concerns them as well upon their husbands as their own account, to abstain even from all appearance of evil, and provide that themselves be (what Caesar is said to have required of his wife) not only without guilt but without scandal also. 17 Another part of the wife's duty relates to her husband's fortune, the management whereof is not ordinarily the wife's province, but where the husband thinks fit to make it so, she is obliged to administer it with her best care and industry; not by any neglect of hers to give others opportutunity of defrauding him, yet on the other side not by an immoderate tenacity or griping, to bring upon him and herself the reproach, and which is worse the curse that attends exaction and oppression. But this is not usually the wife's field of action, though he that shall consider the description which Solomon gives of a virtuous wife Prov. 31. will be apt to think her Province is not so narrow and confined, as the humour of the age would represent it. He tells us that she seeks wool and flax, and works diligently with her hands, that she is like the merchant's ships, and brings her food from far. That she considers a field and buys it, and with the fruit of her hands plants a vineyard, etc. And lest this should be imagined to be the character of a mean country Dame, he adds that her household is clothed in scarlet, and that her husband sits among the Elders of the land. It were easy to give instances from history of the advantageous menage and active industry of wives, not only in single persons, but whole Nations. But nothing can be more pregnant, then that among the Romans: in the very height and flourish of the Empire Austus himself scare wore any thing but of the Manufacture of his Wife, his Sister, daughters, and nieces, as Suetonius assures us. Should the gay lilies of our fields, which neither sow nor spin, nor gather into barns be exempted from furnishing others, and left to cloth themselves, 'tis to be doubted they would reverse our Saviors Parallel of Solomon's glories, and no beggar in all his rags would be arrayed like one of these. Luc. 12. 27. 18. But we will be yet more kind, and impose only negative thrift on the wife, not to waste and embezle her husband's estate, but to confine her expenses within such limits as that can easily admit; a caution which if all women had observed; many noble families had been preserved, of which there now remains no other memorial but that they sell a sacrifice to the profuse vanity of a woman; and I fear this age is like to provide many more such monuments for the next. Our Ladies, as if they emulated she Roman Luxury (which Seneca and Pliny describe with so much indignation) do sometimes wear about them the revenues of a rich family; and those that cannot reach to that, show how much 'tis against their wills they fall lower, by the vast variety and excess of such things as they can possibly compass; so much extravagance not only in their own dress, but that of their houses and apartments, as if their vanity like the Leprosy we read of Leu. 24. had infected the very walls. And indeed 'tis a very spreading fretting one, for the furniture oft consumes the house, and the house consumes the land: so that if some Gentlemen were to calculate their estates, they might reduce all to the inventory of Scopias the Thessalian, who professed his all lay only in such Toys as did him no good. Women are now skilful Chemists, and can quickly turn their husband's earth into Gold: but they pursue the experiment too far, make that Gold too volatile, and let it all vapour away in insignificant (though gaudy) trifles. 19 Nor is it ever like to be otherwise with those that immoderately affect the town, that forge of vanity, which supplies a perpetual spring of new temtations. 'Tis true there are some Ladies who are necessarily engaged to be there: their husband's employments orfortuneshave marked that out as their proper station, and where the ground of their stay is their duty, there is more reason to hope it will not betray them to ill, for temtations are most apt to assault stragglers, those that put themselves out of their proper road. And truly I see not who can more properly be said to be so, thenthosewomen whose means of subsistence lies in the Country, and yet will spend it no wherebut at London, which seems to carry something of opposition to God's providence, who surely never caused their lot to fall, as the Psalmist speaks, in a fair ground, in goodly heritage's Psalm. 16. with an intent they should never inhabit them. The 12 tribes of Israel had their peculiar Portions in Canaan assigned them by lot Jos. 14. 2. and every one acquiesced in his part, dwelled in his own inheritance: had they been impatient of living any where but in the Metropolis, had they all crowded to Jerusalem, all the rest of the land would have been as desolate before the capt●…ty as it was after; none would havebin left but such as Nabuzaradan permitted to stay Jer. 52. 16. some of the poor to dress the vines, and to till the ground. And truly the same is like to be the fate of this nation, if this humour goes on as it has begun; which may in time prove as mischievous to the public as it daily is to private families. 20. But besides this 'tis yet farther to be considered, that where God gives an estate, he as the supreme landlord affixes something of duty, lays a kind of a rend charge upon it, expects it should maintain both hospitality and charity; and sure both these are fittest to be done upon the place whence the ability of them rises. All public taxes use to be levied where the estate lies, and I know not why these which are Gods assessments upon it, should not be paid there too. When a Gentleman's land becomes profitable unto him by the sweat and labour of his poor neighbours and tenants, 'twill be a kind of muzling of the ox 1. Cor. 9 9 if they never taste of the fruit of their pains, if they shall never have the refreshment of a good meal, or an alms; which they are not very like to meet with, if all the profits be sent up to maintain an equipage, and keep up a parade in town. But alas 'tis often not only the annual profits that go that way, not only the crop, but the soil too; those luxuries usually pray upon the vitals, eat out the very heart of an estate, and many have stayed in the Town till they have nothing left in the country to retire to. 21. Now where this proceeds from the wife, what account can she give to her husband, whose easiness and indulgence (for that must be supposed in the case) she has so abused? as also to her posterity and family who for her pride must be brought low, reduced to a conditiod beneath their quality, because she affected to live above it? But she will yet worse answer it to herself, on whom she has brought not only the inconvenience but the guilt. 'Tis sure a lofty mind will feelsmart enough of a fall, a diminution, much more an indigence will be sufficiently grievous to a vain and lavish humour; yet here it will farther have an additional sting, from the conscience that she owes it only to her own pride and folly; a most embittering consideration, and such as advances the affliction beyond that of a more innocent poverty, as much as the pain of an envenomed arrow exceeds that of another. 22. But the saddest reckoning of all is that which she is to make to God, who has declared he hates robbery though for a burnt offering to himself. How will he then detest this robbery this impoverishing of the husband, when 'tis only to make an oblation to vanity and excess? It should therefore be the care of all wives to keep themselves from a guilt for which God and man, yea & themselves also shall equally accuse them, and to keep their expenses within such limits, that as bees suck but do not violate or deface the flowers, so they as joint proprietaries with the husbands, may enjoy but not devour and destroy his fortune. 23. I have now run through the duties to be perfromed unto the Husband, wherein I have not used the exactness of a casuist in curiously anatomising every part, and showing all the most minute particulars reducible to each head. I have only drawn out the greater lines, and insisted on those wherein Wives-are most frequently deficient. I shall only add this caution, that whatever is duty to the husband is equally so, be he good or ill, the Apostle commands the subjection & fidelity, even to heathen Husbands, 1 Pet. 3. 12. and 'tis not now their defect, either in Piety or Morality, that can absolve the Wife. For, besides the inconvenience of making her duty precarious & liable to be substracted upon every pretence of demerit, she has by solemn Contract renounced that liberty, & in her Marriage-vow taken him for better for worse; & it is too late after Vows to make enquiry, Prov. 20. 25. to seek to break loose from that bond of her Soul; and how uneasy soever the perverseness of the husband may render it, he cannot thereby make it less, but more rewardable by God: for what the Apostle speaks in the case of Servants, is no less appliable to this, 1 Pet. 2. 19 for this is than worthy. if for conscience towards Godye endure grief, suffering wrongfully. Whatever duty is performed to Man with aspect on God, he owns as to himself; so that how unworthy soever the husband may be the Wife cannot misplace her observance, whilst she finally terminates it on that infinite Goodness and Majesty to whom no love or obedience can be enough. 24. From this relation of a Wife, there ordinarily springs another, that of a Mother, to which there belongs a distinct duty, which may bebranched into many severals: but I shall at present only reduce them to two Heads Love and Care. A Mother is a title of so much tenderness, that we find it borrowed by our common Dialect to express the most exuberant kindness; nay, even in Sacred Style it has the same use, and is often set as the highest example our weakness can comprehend of the Divine Compassions. So that Nature seems sufficienly to have secured the love of Mothers to their Children, without the aid of any positive Law; yet we find this (as other Instincts of Nature) is sometimes violated, and oftener perverted and applied to mistaken purposes: the first is by a defect of Love; the other, by an imprudent excess of 't: the defect does, I presume, more rarely occur then the other; yet it doth sometimes happen, and that either from a morosesowrness of humour, or else from too vehement an intention on something else. 25. Some Women have such a ruggedness of nature, that they can love nothing; the ugly Passions of Anger and Envy, have, like Pharaoh's lean Kine, eat up the more amiable, of Love and Joy. Plato was wont to advise crabbed austere tempers, to Sacrifice to the Graces; and such as these had need have a great deal of Christian Philosophy, to allay and sweeten their native Bitterness. But there are others that are not void of the affection of Love, but 'tis forestalled by some other Object, and so diverted from their Children; and 'tis a little to be doubted, those Objects which so divert are none of the best, for the Wisdom of God has disposed all duty into such a Harmony and Consent of Parts, that one interferes not with another. If we love no prohibited thing, all the regular Objects of our kindness will agree well enough, and one need never supplant another. And indeed 'tis oft observable, that those Women who immoderately love their own Pleasures, do lest regard their Children; they look on them as Clogs to keep them within doors, and think their adverting to them, will hinder their free range abroad; those are turned off to the care of a Nurse or Maid, whilst perhaps a Dog or a Monkey is thought worthy their own attendance. 26. Plutarch relates it as a Sarcasm of Caesars to some Foreigners whom he saw (at Rome) strangely fond of such little Animals, that he asked them whether the women in their Country had no children; thereby intimating, how unreasonable it was for those that had, to bestow their Caresses on such Creatures. And surely he would not have given a milder reprimand to some of our Ladies, who not only please, but pride themselves in those little Brutes, show them to all comers, when perhaps you may converse with them divers days, before you shall, by any mention of theirs, know that they have a Child. 27. To this defect of Love, many are apt to impute the Mother's transferring the Nursing her Child to another. I am not forward to pronounce it, being loath to involve so many as I then must in the imputation of unnaturalness; I rather think it is taken up as a piece of State and Greatness; for no other motive, but what is sounded in their Quality, could so universally prevail with all that are of it. But sure this is one of the vain punctilio's wherewith this Age abounds; for whatever rank the Mother is of, the Child carries proportion to it, and there is the same equality between the greatest Lady and her own Child, as is between the meanest Beggar and hers: though indeed if there were any condescension in it, the aversions of that ought not to outweigh the impulses of Nature, and the many advantages the Child may receive by taking its nourishment whence it derived its substance. And therefore, though I will not be too positive in asserting the necessity, yet I confess, I cannot but look with reverence upon those few Persons of Honour, who have broke through an unreasonable Custom, and preferred the good of their Children before that fantastic privilege of Greatness. And such must in all Justice be acknowledged to have given a much better evidence of their love to their Children, than the others. 28. There is in A. Gellius, in his fourteenth book so fine a Discourse on this subject, where Favori●…us the Philosopher is introduced, persuading a Noble Lady, notwithstanding the usual Excuses, to Nurse her Child; that nothing besides the length, could temt me to omit the transcribing it: unless happily the little success, which a Noble Person of the same Sex here concerned I mean the Countess of Lincoln, in the Ingenious book wrote by her, and called her Nursery, be a sufficient ground of despairing to convince by any thing that can be said. However let these delicate ones consider the severe words of the Prophet, Lament. 4. 3. The sea monsters draw out the breast, they give suck to their young ones, the daughter of my people is become cruel like the ostrich in the Wilderness, who is hardened against her young ones, as though they were not hers: her labour is in vain without fear, because God hath deprived her of wisdom, neither hath he imparted to her understanding, Job. 39 16. 29. But as there may be a fault in the defect, so there may be also in the excess of love. God is the only unlimited object of our love, towards all others 'tis easy to become inordinate, and in no instance more than in this of children. The love of a parent is descending, and all things move most violently downwards, so that whereas that of children to their parents commonly needs a spur, this of the parent often needs a bridle, especially that of the Mother, which (by strength of feminine passion) does usually exceed the love of the Father. Now to regulate this affection, she is to advert to these two rules, first that she hurt not herself by it, and secondly that she hurt not her children: of the first she is in danger if she suffer that humane affection to swell beyond its banks, so as to come in any competition with the Divine, this is to make an Idol of her child; for every thing is so to us, which rivals the love of God in our hearts, and he who owns the title of a jealous God, may be provoked as well by the bowing our souls to a living image, as the prostration of our bodies to a dead. Accordingly we oft see the effects of his jealousy in this particular, the doting affection of the mother is frequently punish with the untimely death of the Children, or if not with that 'tis many times with a severer scourge: they live (but as it was foretold to Eli▪ 1 Sam. 2. 33.) to grieve her eyes and to consume her heart, to be ruinous to themselves, and afflictions to their friends, and to force their unhappy mothers to that sad acclamation Lu. 23. 29. Blessed are the wombs which bore not 30. And as this proves often true, when the dotage is general upon all the children, so does oftener when 'tis more partial and fixed upon any one; that darling which she makes the only object of her joy usually becomes that of her sorrow. It is an ordinary infirmity in Parents toheap all their kindness upon one, to the defrauding of the rest, and too many times upon very undue motives: a little excelling in point of beauty turns the scales, when perhaps many more solid excellencies are the counterpoise. And surely this is not only unjust but irrational in the parent: for all peculiarity of favour in a superior, should be dispensed either by way of reward or encouragement; and neither of those ends can take place where 'tis only the outward form that is considered, for that cannot be rewardable, to which the party has contributed nothing, and the Psalmist will tell us that 'tis God▪ that hath made us and not we ourselves Psalm. 100 2. and as little room is there for the other end, that of encouragement. For as our Saviour tells us Ma. 6. none can add a cubit to his statute, nor make one hair white or black: 'tis certain themselves cannot really do either, though by the aid of artificial hypocrisy they frequently appear to do both; but those are arts which neither deserve nor want encouragement, the natural beauty must have its increase from the same source whence it derived its being: there is therefore no reasonable account to be given why a child should be preferred for any such exterior excellency. 31. The only justifiable ground of partiality to children is their virtue, for to that their own choice concurs, and so may entitle them to reward, and 'tis also in their power to advance, and so encouragements are not cast away upon them: nay the influences of those may extend farther, and provone a virtuous emulation in the rest; but then the Mother must so manage it, as to evidence that 'tis no inequality in her own inclination, but merely the force of the others desert, not the person but the goodness, that biasses her, and when virtue is known to be the only ingratiating quality, they will at once learn the way to become hers & God's favourites. And unless it be upon this one design, 'tis a very unsafe thing for a parent to make any partial discrimination among children, which is sure to tempt the more neglected both to repine at her, and envy her darlings; and oftentimes such seeds of rancour have been by that means sowed in children, as have been hard to eradicate in their riper years. Nor is the mifchief less which she does to her foundlings, who besides that they are exposed to the malice of the rest, are usually spoilt by it, made insolent & untractable perhaps their whole lives after, for where the mother's affection is unbridled, commonly the child's will is so too, her fondness superseding that discipline and correction, which should, as the wise man speaks; bow down its neck from its youth. 32. And the like may be said where the indulgence is more universal to all the Children, which is in one respect worse than the partial, because it spoils more, not one or two but all the brood. The doting love of a mother blinds her eyes, that she cannot see their faults, manacles her hands that she cannot chastise them, and so their vices are permitted to grow up with themselves: as their joints knit and gather strength, so do their ill habits, till at last they are confirmed into an obstinacy; so setting them in a perfect opposition to to that pattern they should imitate, for as Christ's childhood increased in wisdom, and the divine favour, Lu. 2. so do theirs in all those provoking follies, which may avert both the love of God and man. And alas what recompense can the little blandishments and caresses of a mother make her children, for such important such inestimable mischiefs? So that she that will be really kind must temper her indulgence with a prudent severity, or else she eminently violates the second rule, by which she should regulate her love, and does that to her children which Jocob feared from his father Gen. 27. brings a curse upon them and not a blessing. 33. Indeed the best way of approving their love, is by well discharging the other branch of their duty, that of care; without this all the most passionate rapturesof kindness, are but an airy apparition, a fantastic scene, and will no more advantage a child, than the whole shambles in picture can feed and nourish it. Now this care is not a temporary, momentary duty, for some one critical instant, but is to attend the child through the several stages of its minority, viz. Infancy, childhood, and youth. The very first part of their infancy is a season only for those cares which concern their bodies, providing for their careful attendance, and all other things conducing to the strengthening their constitutions, and laying a foundation for future health and vigour; which is their interest not only upon a bodily, but upon an intellectual account, the good temperature of the body being a great aid towards the free operations of the mind. And therefore Socrates and other Philosophers much recommend to their disciples the care of health, as that which freed the soul from many encumbrances in its pursuit of knowledge: and it was the comprehensive prayer of the Poet, that the Gods would grant a sound mind in a healthful Body. 34. But this health is not always the consequent of a very nice and tender breeding but is very oft overthrown by it; and if Ladies could but find in their hearts to try it, they would, I doubt not, find, that the inuring them to moderate hardships, would much more conduce to the establishing and fortifying their constitutions. 35. Beyond all this, the care for their exterior is soon overtaken by a more important one, that of their interior, in the timing of which there seems to be a very common mistake in the World. We look upon the seven Years or infancy, as the life merely of an Animal, to be spent only in the Entertainments of sense; and as we use not to yoke Calves, or back young Colts, so we think our children are for a while to be left at the same liberty; to have no restraint put on any of their Passions. Nay many times we excite & foment them, teach Children to be angry and envious, proud and sullen, as if we feared their Natural Propensions to all these were too faint, and wanted the help of Institutions. But surely this is a great and pernitions error, and this supposing Children to be so long Brutes, is the way to make them so longer. The Patrons of Atheism make it a most constant Topic in the disparagement of Religion, that 'tis owed to the prejudices infused in the first infancy: 'twere to be wished, that this Objection might so far be complied with, that the fear of God, the love of Virtue, and hatred of Vice, might have the first possession of the Soul; and they be made to moderate their Passions, as soon as they are in a capacity to have them excited and engaged. 36. And truly, if we will observe it, we may see very early dawnings of reason in Infants, which would sooner come to a brightness, if we would betimes set to the scattering of those Passions which eclipse and darken it. A Child will quickly be taughtto knowwhat pleases ordispleases a Parent, and by a very little taste of reward or punishment, will learn to do the one, and avoid the other: and when this is done, the Parent has gained the fundamental Point, That of obedience; and may superstruct on it what she pleases, & then 'tis her fault if the Child be not by easy and insensible degrees moulded into a right form. 'Tis at first all one to the Child, whether he name God in an Oath or in his Prayers; but a Mother by punishing the one, and rewarding the other, will quickly bring him to know there is a difference, and so proportionably in other instances. As to the way of discipline, it may not be amiss to observe, that when thereiss occasion for severity, 'tis better to awe by actual punishment than terror, and never to make use of infinite and invisible affrightments, the beloved methods of Nurses and Servants, such as are the menacing of Sprights and Mormo's, and leaving in the dark; that frequently make dastardly & timorous impressions, which a long Age scarcely wears off. 37. A sober sense of things, is to be impressed by treatable means, and this will be done with most ease, both to the Parent and Child, the sooner 'tis set upon. The will of a tender Infant, is like its Limbs, supple and pliant, but time confirms it, and custom hardens it; so 'tis a cruel Indulgence to the poor Creature, to let it contract such habits, which must cost him so dear the breaking; or dearer, i●… never broken. And if this early care be taken of the Infancy, 'twill much ease the next part, that of the Childhood; for where the Iron sinew in the neck is broken, where the native stubbornness is subdued so early, the yokewill sit easy, all succeeding parts of discipline will comewith more facility and profit. The care proper to this Age, is, the instructing in all parts of useful Knowledge, of which, as the Divine for the excellency both of its nature and its end, must be first ranked, so should it be first and most industriously cultivated, and by all endearing methods impressed, not only on the understanding, but the heart. Piety and Virtue should be propos dasthemost amiable, as well as necessary things, and they would be invited not only to know, but love them. 38. This part of Learning is equally competent to both Sexes, and therefore, when the Sons are removed from under the Mother's tuition, and sent to more public places of erudition, her Provinceis still the same as to her Daughter▪ to whom she shouldnot only Preach, but exemp●…ifieit inhere own practice, no Precepts penetrating so much into Youth, as those that are so enforced. And in order to this, I should commend to Mothers, the being as much with them as they can, and taking the personal Inspection of them; not to turn them off wholly to Servants, no nor yet Governesses, but frequently themselves to examine how they proceed in the speculative part of Knowledge, and no less frequently exhort them to the practic. 39 Marcus Cato would not let his Son learn of his Slave, as disdaining a Child should owe so considerable a benefit to so servile a person; and if he thought the mere teaching of Grammar, too great a charge for such a one, surely the whole Institution of Youth is a much greater, it being that on which, not only a few outward Accomplishments, but even their Eternity depends. The great Cornelia, Mother of the Gracchis, and Aurelia the Mother of Augustus, thought it worth their pains to be Governesses. And the truth is, the Soul of a Child is a little too precious a Trust to commit wholly to the diligence & care of a mercenary servant; or if they happen not to want those Qualifications, yet 'tis very possible they may Prudence, of which there is no small degree requisite to the Instructing of Youth, too great a remissness or severity being equally destructive in that affair. And indeed, besides this immediate, there are some other collateral Benefits consequent to the Mother's performing that Office, 'twill bring her and her Children into an intimacy and conversation, give her an acquaintance with their several Capacities and Humours; for want of which, many Parents have erred in their Conduct, one sort of Treatment being not fit for all Children; and the distinguishing that depending wholly on their discerning their particular Tempers, which cannot well be done without-som converse with them. 40. Besides by this they will be witnesses how they dispose their time, that they neither lose it by doing nothing, nor yet mis-employ it by doing ill. And indeed there is scarce any part of the parents care more important than this, idlenessbeing no farther removed from vice, than a cause is from its immediate effect. Therefore if children be permitted to trifle avay their time, they will soon learn to trifle avay their innocence also: so that 'tis highly necessary that they be provided of a succession of employments, that by the variety they may be insensibly drawn on: nay methinks, it might verywell be contrived that their recreationsmight sometimes consist of such ingenious exercises, that they may at once both play and learn. 41. There is yet another good effect of the mother's presence with the children (which is perhaps no less material than any of the former) 'tis, that by this associating them with herself, she prevents the danger of worse society. Children if the parents allow them not their company, are necessarily cast upon that of servants, than which there is scarce a greater danger that attends youth; for besides that that low sort of converse debases their minds, makes them mean and sordid, it often corrupts their manners too; children usually not receiving more pestilent infusions from any then such. Servants that desire to ingratiate themselves, and having no laudable quality whereby to do it, must first endeavour to ingratiate vice to them, and then by their officious ministries in that, have a ready way of introducing themselves into favour. Perhaps this will be thought to concern only the masculine part of children, and that the female who are commonly in a distinct apartment, and converse only with their own sex, are more secure. But I would not advise mothers to depend too much on that, for they are no surer that their daughters shall not converse with men, nay men of the meaner sort too, then that their maids and attendants shall notdo so; and when 'tis considered, how apt those are to entertain, if not to invite amours, 'tis not very probable the rooms where they quarter shallbe inaccessible to those they affect. And it were much safer for children to be in the most public concourse of m●…n, then to be witnesses and observers of the private intrigues of such lovers; the memories of youth are very tenacious, & if they once be tainted with any indecent thing will be apt to recollect it, till at last perhaps they come to transcribe it. 'Tis therefore in this respecta very useful part of the Mother's care, to make herself company to her daughters, to prevent the dangers of a more unequal and infectious converse. 42. But if this be useful in childhood, 'tis no less than necessary in the next period of their time, when they arrive near the growth and age of women: then indeed the mother should not only make them her companions, but her friends, allow them such a kind, yet modest, freedom, that they may have a complacence in her company, and not be tempted to seek it among their inferiors; that the belief of her kindness may supplant the pretensions of those meane●… sycophants, who by little flatteries endeavour to seru themselves into their good opinion, & become their confidents; than which there is nothing more mischievous, those private cabals that are held with such, serving only to reader them mutinous against their parents: these family incendiaries like those in the state and church, still inculcating the one grand principle of Liberty, a word so charming to our depraved nature, and especially to youth, that they should not be trusted with such Lectures. Besides those intimacies are often introductions toworse; many scandalous amours and unequal matches having had their rise from them. It should therefore be the business of Mothers to prevent all such pernicious leagues, by preingaging them in more safe familiarities, either with herself, or some other, of whose virtue she has reason to be confident. 43. But the most infallible security against this & all other mischiefs is the bringing them into an intimacy and conversation with their maker, by fixing a true sense of Religion in their hearts, if that can be effectually done, 'twill supersede all other expedients. She that duly considers she is always in God's presence, will want no other inspector; nor will she much need monitors, who attends to the advices of her own conscience. Neither will it only tend to the securing her innocence but her reputation too; it being one part of the Christian law to abstain from all appearance of evil 1. Thess. 22. to do things that are of good report Phil. 4. 8. so that piety is the 〈◊〉 complete armour to defend both their virtue and fame. And 'tis extremely necessary they should be furnished with it, at this Age especially, when they do at first enter into the World, which we may well look on as a taking the Field, considering how many assaults they are there like to meet with; and if they go without this Armature, they may, none knows how soon, be incurably wounded, of which there want not many sad instances, some whereof might probably have been prevented, had the Parent taken care to have better fortified them. 44. And indeed 'tis not a little sad to see how much this their most important concern is neglected. Many mothers who are nicely curious in other parts of their daughter's breeding, are utterly inconsiderate of this; they must have all civil Accomplishments, but no Christian. Those are excluded out of the scheme of Education, & by that means lie under the prejudice of being not only unnecessary, but ungentile, below the regard of Persons of Quality. 'Tis much to be feared, that this neglect toward their children, is founded in a previous contemt of Piety in themselves, yet I suppose 'tis often increased by a little Vanity they have of seeing them excel in some of those exterior qualities, which may recommend them to the humour of the World upon the improving whereof they are so intent, that more material things are overlookt; and when those are acquired, the pride of showing them betrays them to other in onveniencies. The mother oft not only permits, but incites the daughter to the opportunities of boasting her excellencies sends her so oft abroad on that design, that at last perhaps she cannot when she would keep her at home, as I believe too many have found experimentally true. In a word, this Interval between Childhood & Majority, is the most Critical point of a Woman's Life, and therefore should be the most nicely and warily attended; and a mother had need summon not only all her care and diligence, but her prudence too, well to discharge this part of her Obligation. 45. I shall not insist more minutely upon Particulars: I have in the former Section spoken somewhat of what 'tis fit these young Virgins should do and avoid, and whatever by that, or by any more exact rule appears their interest or duty; 'tis the Mother's to see it be not neglected by them: but where Kindness alone will not prevail to employ their authority too, and by a discreet mixture of each, secure their observance by both the tenors of Love and Reverence. Yet I shall a little reflect upon one particular I mentioned before I mean that of Marrying where they have aversion, which though I there charged as the crime of the Daughter▪ yet I must here say the Original, and more inexcusable guilt is usually in the Parents, who are sometimes such Idolaters to Wealth and Honour, that they Sacrifice their Children to them; a more barbarous Immolationthen that to Moloch; for though that were very inhuman, yet it had this alleviation, that the pain was short: but a loathed Bed is at once an acute and a lingering Torment, nay, not only so, but a temptation too; so that 'tis a Tyranny of a most unlimited kind, extends its Effects even to Eternity; and sure that Mother must have very petrified Bowels, have lost all Natural Compassion, that can so impose on her Child. 46. I shall add no more concerning this relation of a Mother, but only one short advice, That those who groan under the frustration of their hopes, whose Children by any scandulous misbehavior become Objects of their shame and grief, would soberly consider, whether it have not been some way owing to themselves, either by neglect in their Education, or by their own ill Example: 'Tis usually one, and sometimes both. They that upon recollection can assure themselves 'tis neither, may bear the Affliction with much the greater cheerfulness; but they that cannot, I am sure aught to bear it with much the more patience & submission, take it as God's Lecture of Repentance, and look on their children's faults as the product of their own. And because Satisfaction is an indispensible part of Repentance, they are with their utmost industry to endeavour the repairing those ruins they have made, by recalling those to Virtu, who by their means have strayed from it. 'tis true, the errors of Education, like a subtle Poison, do so mix with the Blood, so incorporate into the Humours and Manners, that 'twill be very difficult to allay their Effects; and therefore the less they are themselves able to do towards it, the more earnestly they must importune a Higher Power. He who divided the Light from the Darkness, can separate the Effects from the Causes; and as he restrained the natural property of Fire, in the case of the three Children, Dan. 3. so He only can rescu theirchildrens from that destruction to which their negligence has exposed them. But as to the influence their example has had, theymay do something towards the redress of that, by setting them a new Copy, making their own change so visible, so remarkable, that they mayhave the very same means of reclaiming, which there was of seducing them. And this is a piece of Justice, which seems to call aloud upon many Mothers. The irregularities of Youth could hardly have grown to the present height, had they not received warmth and shelter from the practice of their Elders, which does at once give encouragement & take of restraints, the Mother loses not only her Authority, but her confidence to admonish or reprove. With what face can she require that strict and severe modesty of a young Girl, which she who should be a Matron will not practise? or tie up the giddy wand'ring humour of Youth, within those bounds she thinks too straight for her own? and how ready a retortion will even Scripture itself afford for such an Imposer? Thou that teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? Rom. 2. 21. Let it therefore be the care of all Mothers to live a perpetual Lecture to their Children, so to exemplify to them all Virtu and Piety, that they may contribute something to their Spiritual, as well as their natural life, that however they may at least deliver their own souls, and not have their children's guilt recoil upon them as the unhappy originals of it. 47. The last relation of a married woman is that of a Mistress, the inspection of the family being usually her Province; and though she be not supreme ●…here, yet she is to improve her delegated authority to the advantage of all under it; and her ●…nore constant residence gives her more opportunities of it, than the frequent avocations of the husband will perhaps allow him. St. Paul sets it as the calling, and the indispensible duty of the Married women, that they guide the house, 1 Tim. 5. 18. not thinking it a point of greatness to remit the manage of all domestic concerns to a mercenary housekeeper. And indeed since it has been a fashionable thing for the Master to resign up his concerns to the steward, and the Lady hers to the Governant, it has gone ill with most great Families, whilst these Officers serve themselves instead of those who employ them, raise fortunes on their Patron's ruins, and divide the spoil of the family, the housekeeper pilfering within doors, and the Bailiff plundering without. 48. Now to the well guiding of the house by the mistress of it, I know no better or more comprehensive rule, then for her to endeavour to make all that are hers to be God's servants also; this will secure her of all those intermedial qualifications in them in which her secular interest is concerned, their own consciences being the best spy she can set upon them, as to their truth and fidelity, and the best spur also to diligence and industry. But to the making them such, there will need first instruction, and secondly discipline. It is a necessary part of the rulers care to provide that none in their family should want means of necessary instruction. I do not say that the Mistress should set up for a catechist, or preacher; but that they take order they should be taught by those who are qualified for the employment. And that their furnishing them with knowledge, may not serve only to help them to a greater number of stripes, Luk. 12. 47. they are to give them the opportunities of consecrating it to prayer & devotion, to that end to have public divine offices in the family; and that not by starts or accidents (when a devouter guest is to be entertained, and laid by when a profane) but daily and regularly, that the hours of prayers may be fixed and constant as those of meals, and (if it may possibly be) as much frequented; however that toward it she give both precept and example. 49. A Christian family should be the Epitome of a Church; but alas how many among us lie under a perpetual Interdict, & yet not from the usurpation of any foreign power, but from the irreligion of the domestic. One may go into divers great families, and after some stay there, not be able to say that the name of God was mentioned to any other purpose than that of blasphemy and execration, nor a text of scripture unless in burlesque & profane Drolery. And sure we need not wonder at the universal complaint that is now made of ill servants, when we reflectupon this ill government of families. They that are suffered wholly to forget their duties toward God, will not always remember it towards man. Servants are not such Philosophers that upon the bare strength of a few moral instincts they will be virtuous, & if by a customary neglect of all things sacred, they are once taught to look at nothing beyond this world, they will often find temptation enough here to discard their honesty, as the most unthriving trade. And indeed when the awe of religion is quite taken off from the vulgar, there will scarce any thing else be found to keep them within any tolerable bounds; so that 'tis no less impolitic than profane to slacken that rain. 50. But it is not only the interest, but the duty of all that have families, to keep up the esteem and practice of Religion in them. 'Twas one of the greatest endearments of Abraham to God, that he would command his household to keep the way of the Lord Gen. 18. 19 And Joshua undertakes no less for the piety of his household then himself, as for me and my house we will serve the Lord Jos. 24 〈◊〉 And sure 'tis but reasonable, that where we ourselves owe an homage, we should make all our dependants acknowledge the same. Besides, it is a justice in respect of them; for where we entertain a servant, we take the whole person into our care and protection, and are false to that undertaking if we suffer his soul the most precious part of him to perish; and God who keeps account even of his meanest creatures, will not patiently resent such a neglect of those who bear his own Image, and were ransomed with as great a price as their Masters were, for there is no respect of persons with God Eph. 6. 6. 51. But when Piety is planted in a family, 'twill soon wither, if it be not kept in vigour by Discipline: nay indeed, to have servants seemingly devout in the oratory, and yet really licentious out of it, is but to convert one's house into a Theatre, have a play of religion, and keep a set of actors only to personate and represent it. 'Tis therefore necessary to inquire how they behave themselves when they are off the stage, whether those hands which they elevate in prayer, are at other times industriously applied to work; or those mouths wherewith they there bless God, are not else where filled with oaths and curses, scurrilities and revile; in a word, whether that form of Godliness be not designed in commutation for sobriety and honesty. Indeed the governors of families ought to make a strict inspection into the ●…anners, of their servants, & where they find them good to affix some special mark of favour, by which they may both be encouraged to persevere and others to begin; butwher they discern them vicious there as eminently to discountenance, severely to admonish them, and use all fit means for their reclaiming, and when that seems hopeless, to dismiss them that they may not infect the rest. A little leven saith the Apostle leveneth the whole lump, Gal. 5. 9 and one ill servant (like a perished tooth) will be apt to corrupt his fellows. 'Tis therefore the same in families that it is in more public communities, where severity to the ill is mercy and protection to the rest; and were houses thus early weeded of all idle and vicious persons, they would not be so overgrown, nor degenerate into such rude wildernesses, as many (nay I fear most) great families now are. 52. But as servants are not to be tolerated in the neglect of their duty, so neither are they to be defeated of any of their deuce. Master's are to give to their servants that which is just and equal, Col. 4. 1. And sure, 'tis but just and equal that they who are rational creatures should not be treated with the rigour or contemt of brutes: a sufficient & decent provision, both in sickness and in health, is a just debt to them, besides an exact performance of those particular contracts upon which they were entertained. Laban had so much of natural justice, that he would not take the advantage of jacob's relation to him, to make him serve him gr●…tis, Because thou art my brother shouldst thou the●…fore serve me for nought? tel me therefore what shall thy wages be? Gen. 29, 15. But alas now a days where servants have been told, nay expressly articled for their wages, 'tis with many no easy thing to get it: nay 'tis thought by some Masters an insolence, a piece of ill manners to demand it; and when they have worn out a servant, they either pay him not at all, or with the same protraction and regret, which they do their Tailors for the old clothes they have cast off. I fear there are many instances of this, especially among great persons, it being a received mode with too many of them to pay no debts to those who are too mean to contest with them. But however they may ruffle it out with men, it will one day arraign them before God as most injurious oppressors; there being no crime of that kind more frequently or severely branded in Scripture, than this of detention of the wages of the servant and hireling. Besides, this examples of injustice, wherein the servant is passive, is often transcribed by him in acts of fraud and deceit, and he is apt to think it but an equal retaliation, to break his trust where the Master breaks his covenant, and when he once attemts to be his own paymaster, 'tis not to be doubted but he will allow himself large use▪ for the forbearance of his wages; so that the course is no less unprofitable to the Master then unjust and dishonourable. 53. I am not sure 'tis alwaies in the wife's power to prevent this or any of the former faults 〈◊〉 the menage of the family. For her authority being but subordinat, if the husband who is supreme suspend her power, he does by that vacating her rule take off the duty consequent to it; so that what I have said can be obligatory to none that are so impeded: but to those who either can do it themselves, or persuade their husbands to it, the omission will be their sin, all the profaneness and disorder of the family will be charged upon their account, if it came by their default. 54. And this methinks is a consideration that may much mortify one usual piece of vanity, I mean that of a multitude of servants. We shall all of us find burden enough of our own personal miscarriages, and need not contrive to fetch in more weight from others. And in families 'tis generally observable, that the bigger they are the worse; vice gains boldness by numbers, is hatched up by the warmth of a full society; and we daily see people venture upon those enormities in consort and in a crowd. which they would not dare did they think they stood single. Besides the wider the province is, the more difficult it is well to administer it; and in a heap of servants many faults will scape undiscern●…d, especially, considering the common confederacy there is usually amongthem, for the eluding of discipline: so that what the wiseman speaks of not desiring a multitude of unprofitable children, I think may very well be applied to servants, whose unprofitableness usually increases together with their number. I have now run through these several obligations consequent to the married state, wherein even upon this very cursory view, there appears so many particulars, that if they were all duly attended, Ladies need not be much at a loss how to entertain themselves; nor run abroad in a Romantic quest after foreign divertisements, when they, have such variety of engagements at home. SECT. III. Of Widows. 1. THE next state which can succeed to that of Marriage is Widowhood, which though it supersedes those duties which were terminated merely in the person of the husband, yet it endears those which may be paid to his ashes. Love is strong as death, Cant. 8. 6. and therefore when it is pure and genuine cannot be extinguished by it, but burns like the funeral lamps of old, even in vaults and charnel houses, the conjugal love transplanted into the grave (as into a finer mould) improves into piety, and lays a kind of sacred obligation upon the widow to perform all offices of respect and kindness which his Remains are capable of. 2. Now those Remains are of three sorts, his body his memory, and his children. The most proper expession of her love to the first, is in giving it an honourable Enterrment; I mean not such as may vie with the Poland extravagance (of which 'tis observed that two or three near succeeding funerals ruin the family) but prudently proportioned to his quality & fortune, so that her zeal to his Corpse may not injure a nobler relic of him, his Children. And this decency is a much better instance of her kindness, than all those Tragical Furies wherewith som. Women seem transported towards their dead Husbands, those frantic Embraces and caresses of a Carcase, which betray a little too much the sensuality of their Love. And it is something observable, that those vehement Passions quickly exhaust themselves, and by a kind of Sympathetic Efficacy as the Body (on which their assection was fixed) moulders, so does that also, nay often it attends not those lesurely degrees of dissolution, but by a more precipitate motion seems rather to vanish then consume. 3. The more valuable Kindness therefore, is that to his Memory, endeavouring to embalm that, keep it from perishing; and by this innocent Magic (as the Egyptians were wont by a more guilty) she may converse with the dead, represent him so to her own thoughts, that his life may still be repeated to her: and as in a broken Mirror the refraction multiplies the Images, so by his dissolution every hour presents distinct Ideas of him; so that she sees him the oftener, for his being hid from her eyes But as they use not to Embalm without Odours, so she is not only to preserve, but perfume his Memory, render it as fragrant as she can; not only to herself but others; by reviving the remembrance of whatever was praiseworthy in him, vindicating him from all calumnies and false accusations, and stifling (or allaying) even true ones as much as she can. And indeed, a widow can no way better provide for her own honour, then by this tenderness of her Husbands. 4. Yet there is another expression of it, inferior to none of the former, and that is, the setting such a valu upon her relation to him, as to do nothing unworthy of it. 'Twas the dying charge of Augustus to his Wife Livia, Behave thyself well, and remember our Marriage. And she who has been Wife to a Person of Honour, must so remember it as not to do any thing below herself, or which he (could he have foreseen it) should justly have been ashamed of. 5. The last Tribute she can pay him is in his children. These he leaves as his Proxies to receive the kindness of which himself is uncapable; so that the Children of a Widow may claim a double portion of the Mother's love, one upon their Native right, as hers; the other, as a bequest in right of their dead Father. And indeed, since she is to supply the place of both Parents, 'tis but necessary she should put on the affections of both, and to the tenderness of a Mother, add the care and conduct of a Father. First, in a sedulous care of their Education: and next, in the prudent managery of their Fortu●…e; an order that is sometimes unhappily inverted, and Mothers are so concerned to have the Estate prosper in their tuition, that the Children cannot; whilst (by an unseasonable frugality) to save a little expense, they deny them the advantages of an Ingenious and Gentile Breeding, swell their Estates perhaps to a vast bulk, but so contract and narrow their minds, that they know not how to dispose them to any real benefit of themselves or others. And this is one of the most pernicious Parsimonies imaginable, a Mother by this seems to adopt the Fortune, and abdicate the Child, who is only made the Beast tobear those loads of Wealth she will lay on, and which she evidently owns as the greatest Treasure, since in tenderness to that she neglects him. 6. Yet sometimes the same Effect springs from another Cause, and Children are ill bred, not because the Mother grudges the charge, but out of a Feminine fondness, which permits her not to part with them to the proper places for their education; like Jacob to Benjamin, her Soul is so bound up in them, that she cannot lend them a while even to their own most necessary concerns; and this, though not so ignoble a motive as the other, is of no less mischief, at least to her Sons, who being by it confined to home, are consequently condemned to be poisoned (if with nothing else, yet) with the flatteries of Servants and Tenants, who think those the best expedient to secure their own station. And with these the young Master or Landlord is so blown up, that as if his Manors were the confines of the World, he can look at nothingbeyond them; so that when at last he breaks loose from his Mother's arms, and comes abroad, he expects scarce to find his Equals, much less his Betters; thinks he is still to receive the samefawning Adorations which he was used to at home: and being possessed with this insolent expectation, he will scarce be undeceived, but at the price of many Affronts, nay, perhaps he may buy his experience with the loss of his life; by his ill manners draw on a Quarrel, wherein he finally perishes. That this is no impossible Supposition, some unhappy Mothers have found to their unspeakable affliction. 7. 'Tis not to be denied, but there are also dangers consequent to the breeding Children abroad, Vice having insinuated itself even into the places of Erudition, and having not only as many, but the very same Academies with Virtue & Learning; so that the extreme depravation of the times new states the Question, and we are not to consider which is best, but which is theleast ill disposure of Children. And in that competition sure the home Education will be cast; for there they may suck in all the Venom, and nothing of the Antidote; they will not only be taught base things, but (as I before observed) by the basest Tutors, such as will add all the mostsordid circumstances to the improving of a Crime. Whereas abroad they are first not like to meet with any whose interest is so much to make them Vicious: And secondly, they may (as ill as the world is) meet with many who may give them both Precepts & Examples of a better kind. Besides, the Discipline used in those Communities makes them know themselves; and the various sorts of Learning they may acquire, will not only prove usefuldivertisement (the wantofwhich is the great spring of mischief) but will, if rightly applied, furnish them with Ingenious & Virtuous principles, such as may set them above all vile & ignoble practices. So that there seems a conspiration of motives to wrest the child from the relucting mother, & to persuade her for a while to deny herself that desire of her eyes, that so he may at last answer the more rational desire of her heart. 8. As to the other part of her obligation, the managing of their fortune, there is the same rule for her as for all other persons that have a Trust, viz. to do as for themselves; that is, with the same care and diligence (if not a greater) as in her own peculiar concern. I do not say that she shall confound the property, and make it indeed her own by applying it to her particular use. A thing I fear which is too often done, especially by the gayer sort of widows, who to keep up their own equipage, do sometimes encroach upon their sons peculiar, & I wish even that (though bad enough) were the only case wherein it were done. But 'tis sometimes to make her a better prize to a second husband: she goes into another family, and as if she were a Colony sent out by her son, he must pay for the planting her there; indeed the oft repeating this injury, has advanced it now into a custom, and the management of the minors estate is reckoned on as part of the widow's fortune. But I confess I see not what there is in the title of a mother, that can legitimate her defrauding her child; it rather envenoms the crime and adds unnaturalness to deceit. Besides 'tis a preposterous sort of guilt. Orphans and Widows are in Scripture linked together as objects of Gods and good men's pity, and of ill men's oppression, and how ill alas does civil war look among fellow sufferers; the Widow to injure the orphan is like that uncouth oppression Solomon speaks of Prov. 28. 3. Apoor man that oppresseth the poor, is like a sweeping rain which leaveth no food. Such kind of rapines are as excessive in their degree as prodigious in their kind, and I believe there are many instances of sons, who have suffered more by the guardianship of their Mothers, than they could probably have done by the outrage of Strangers. 9 How well such Mother's answer their obligations to their dead Husbands, I must leave it to their own consciences to discuss: I shall only offer them these steps of gradation by which to proceed. First, that injustice of any sort is a great sin; secondly that when 'tis in a matter of trust 'tis complicated with treachery also, thirdly that of all trusts those to the dead have always been esteemed the most sacred: if they can find any allay to these by the two remaining circumstances, that 'tis the trust of a husband, and the interest of a child, I shall confess them very subtle casuists. 10. I have hitherto spoke of what the widow owes to her dead husband; but there is also somewhat of peculiar obligation in relation to herself. God who has pla●…d us in this World to pursue the interests of a better, directs all the signal acts of his providence to that end, and intends we should so interpret them. So that every great change that occurs, is design●…d either to recall us from a wrong way, or to quicken our pace in the right, and a widow may more than conjecture, that when God takes away the mate of her bosom, reduces her to a solitude, he does by it sound a retreat from the lighter jollities and gaieties of the world. And as in compliance with civil custom she immures herself, sits in darkness for a while; so she should put on a more retired temper of mind, a more strict and severe behaviour, and that not to be cast off with her veil, but to be the constant dress of her widowhood. Indeed that state as it requires a great sobriety and piety, so it affords many advantages towards it: the Apostle tells us, that she who is married careth for the things of the World how she may please her husband 1 Cor 7. 34. There are many things which are but the due compliances of a wife, which yet are great avocations, & interrupters of a strict devotion; when she is manumitted, from that subjection, when she has less of Martha's care of serving, she is then at liberty to choose Mary's part, Luk. 10. 42. She has her time and her fortune at her own command, and consequently may much more abound in the works both of piety and charity. We find God himself retrench the wive's power of binding her own soul Num. 30. Her vows were totally insignificant without her husband's confirmation; but the widow might devote herself to what degree she pleased, her piety has no restraint from any other inconsistent obligation, but may swell as high as it can. Those hours which were before her husbands right seem now to devolve on God the grand proprietor of our time: that discourse and free converse wherewith she entertained him, she may now convert into colloquies and spiritual intercourse with her maker; and that love which was only human before, by the change of its object acquires a sublimity, is exalted into divine; from loyal duty and conjugal affection becomes the eternal work and happiness of Angels, the ardour of a Cherubin. Thus may she in a ●…gher sense verify Sampsons' riddle, Judg. 14. fetch honey out of a carcase, make her husband's Ashes (like those of the heifer under the law, Heb. 9 13.) her Purification; his corruption may help to put on incorruption, and her loss of a temporary comfort may instate her in an eternal. 11. And as herself so her fortune may also be consecrated; and indeed if she be, that will also If she have made an escape out of Egypt, there shall not a hoof be left behind her, Exod. 10. 26. No part of her possessions will be assigned to vanity and exccss. She who hath really devoted herself to Piety, fasted and prayed with Anna Luk. 2. 37. will also be full of good works & alms-deeds with Tabytha, Act. 9 36. Thus she may be a mother when she ceases to bear; and though she no more increase one family, she may support many; and certainly the fertility of the womb, is not so valuable as this of the bowels. Fruitfulness can be but a happiness, Compassion is a virtue. Nay indeed 'tis a greater and more certain happiness; a child is not brought forth but with pangs & anguish, but a work of mercy is produced not only with ease, but delight. Besides, she that bears a Child, knows not whether it may prove a Blessing or a curse; but Charity gives certain title to a Blessing, and engages the most solvent Paymaster, even God himself, who owns all such disbursments as a loan to him. He that hath pity upon the poor, dareth unto the Lord: and that which he hath given will he pay him again, Prov. 19 17. 12. There was in the Primitive Times an Ecclesiastical Order of Widows, which St. Paul mentions 1 Tim. 5. whose whole Ministry was devoted to Charity. They were indeed of the poorer sort, fit rather to receive then give Alms; yet the less they could do with their Purses, the more was required of their Persons, the humbler offices of washing the Saints feet, the careful task of bringing up children, and a diligent attendance on every good work. And sure there is parity of Reason, that those who upon the score of their Wealth, exempt themselves from those Laborious Services, should commute for it by more Liberal Alms. In the warmth and zeal of Christianity, Women of the higest Quality performed both sorts of Charity, forgot their Greatness in their condescensions, yet assumed it again in their bounty; founded Hospitals, and yet with a labour of love, as the Apostle styles it, Heb. 6. 10. disdained not sometimes to serve in them. But these are Examples not like to be transcribed in our days, Greatness is now grown to such an unweildiness, that itcannot stoop though to the most Christian Offices, and yet can as little soar up in any Munificent Charities: it stands like Nebuchadnezars Golden Image, a vast Bulk only to be adored. 13. Now certainly, if any Women be qualified to avert this reproach, it must be the Dowagers of great Families and Fortunes, they have none to control their Visits to the sick and afflicted, or to resent a disparagement from their humility, neither have they an account to give of their Possessions to any but God and themselves; to him sure they can bring none so like to procure them the Eulogy of well done thou good and faithful servant, Matth. 25. 21. as a Catalogue of their Alms. Nor indeed can they any other way dispose their Fortune so much to their own contentment; they may indeed cloy and satiate their senses, make provision for the flesh; but that no way satisfies their reason, much less their Conscience. The Soul, which is the superior part; is quite left out in that distribution, nothing is communicated to it but the guilt of those dear bought Excesses. The only way it has to be a sharer in their Wealth, is by a charitable dispensing. The Poor are its Proxies as well as Gods, and though in all other respects we may say to the Soul, as the Psalmist does to God, Ps. 16. 2. my goods extend not to thee: yet by this way, it becomes not only a partaker, but the chief proprietor, and all is laid out for its use. The harboring an outcast, builds it an everlasting habitation, Lu. 16. 9 The clothing the naked, arrays it in pure white linen, Rev. 19 8. and the feeding the hungry, makes it a guest at the supper of the Lamb. v. 8. nay, it gains not only an indefeisible title to these happy Reversions, but it has a great deal in present possession, a huge rational Complacence in the right applying of Wealth, & doing that with it for which 'twas designed; yet more, it gives a sensitive delight, nothing being more agreeable to human nature, than the doing good to its own kind. A seasonable Alms leavs a greater exultation & transport in the Giver, than it can ordinarily raise in the Receiver; so exemplifying the Maxim of our Blessed Lord, that it is a more blessed thing to give then to receive, Act. 20. 35. This indeed is a way to elude the severe denunciation of the Apostle, 1 Tim. 5. 6. A widow that liveth in this pleasure, is not dead whilst she liveth; but on the contrary, shall live when she dies; when she resigns her Breath, shall improve her being; the Prayers of the Poor, like a benign gale, shall assist her flight to the Region of Bliss; and she who has here cherished the afflicted Members, shall there be indissolubly united to their Glorious Head. 14. And now methinks Widowhood, under this aspect, is quite transformed, is not so forlorn; so desolate an estate as 'tis usually esteemed. And would all Widows use but this expedient, thus devote themselves to Piety and Charity, it would▪ like the healing Tree, Exod. 15. 25. sweeten the Waters of Marah, render the condition not only supportable; but pleasant; and they would not need to make: such affrighted; such disadvantageous escapes, as many do, from it. 'Tis true, the Apostle's affirmation is unquestionable, that the wife, when her husband is dead, is at liberty to be married to whom she will, 1 Cor. 7. 39 But the advice he subjoins is authentic too, she is happier if she so-abide. She that may solace herself in the Society, in the Love of her God, makes an ignoble descent to Human Embraces; she that may purchase Heaven with her Wealth, buys a very dear Bargain of the best Husband on Earth; nay indeed, upon a mere secular account, it seems not very prudent to relinquish both Liberty and Property, to Espouse at the best a Subjection, but perhaps a Slavery; it a little resembles the mad Frolicks of freed Galleyslaves, who play away their Liberty as soon as they regain it. 15. Marriage is so great an Adventure, that once seems enough for the whole life; for whether they have been prosperous or adverse in the first, it does almost discourage a second attemt. She that has had a good Husband, may be supposed to have his Idea so fixed in her Heart, that it will be hard to introduce any new Form: nay farther, she may very reasonably doubt, that in this commond earth of Virtu, two good Husbands will scarce fall to one Woman's share, and an ill one will become more intolerable to her, by the reflections she will be apt to make on the better. On the other side, if she have had a bad, the smart sure cannot but remain after the rod is taken off; the memory of what she has suffered should, me thinks, be a competent caution against new adventures. Yet experience shows us that women (though the weaker sex) have commonly fortitude enough to encounter and baffle all these considerations. It is not therefore to be expected that many will by any thing that hath or can be said be diverted from remarrying: and indeed she that does not preserve her widowhood upon the accounts forementioned, may perhaps better relinquish it. St Paul we see advices that those Widows who found no better employment then going from house to house, that grew by their vacancy to be tatlers and busy bodies 1 Tim. 5. 13. should marry again; it being the best way to fix these wand'ring planets, to find them business of their own at home, that so they may not ramble abroad to intermeddle with that of others. And the truth is they that cannot brook the retiredness and gravity which becomes a widow, had better put themselves in a state that less requires it; and, if they resolve not to conform their minds to their condition, to bring their condition to their minds; but in the doing that there will be some cautions very necessary to be observed. I shall reduce them to two, the one relating to the times, the other to the equality of the match. 16. First in respect of time, common decency requires that there be a considerable interval between the parting with one husband & the choosing another, This has been so much observed by nations that were at all civilised, that find Numa made it a law, that no widow should marry under 10. months, and if any did she was to sacrifice as for the expiation of a crime; and this continued in force many ages after, in somuch that when upon reasons of State Augustus found it useful to marry his sister Octavia to Antonius, nothing less than a decree of the Senate could licence the anticipating the time; so zealous observers were they of this point of Civility, that they thought the whole state was concerned in the violation. 'Tis true we have no law in the case, but we have somewhat of custom, I know not how long we shall have, since the frequent breaches of it threaten quite to cancel it: yet a woman that is ten oer of her honour will scarce give her example towards the rescinding it. The wounds of grief are seldom healed by any hand but that of time, and therefore too sudden a cure shows the hurt pierced not deep; and she that can make her mourning veil an optic to draw a new lover nearer to her sight, giveth cause to suspect the sables were all without. 17. The next thing considerable is the equality of the match. Marriage is so close a link, that to have it easy 'tis good to have the parties as even proportioned as may be. And firstin respect of quality and fortune, 'tis to be wished there should be no eminent disproportion. Those that meet most upon a level, are least subject to those upbraid that often attend a great descent of either party; it is therefore no prudent motive, by which some Widows are swayed, who marry only for a great title; who often do not meet with so much of obeisance from strangers, as they do with contemt from their husbands and his relations. There have been many examples of Lords, who have used rich, but inferior, widows like sponges, squeezed them to fill themselves again only with the air of a big name. On the other side for a woman to marry very meanly and too much below herself is rather worse; those kind of matches are ordinarily made in a transport of passion, and when that abates and leaves her to sober reflections, she will probably be so angry with herself, that she will scarce be well pleased with her husband. A state of subjection is a little sweetened by the worth and dignity of the ruler: for as it is more honourable, so 'tis also more easy; the serviler spirits being of all others the most imperious in command. And sure 'twill not a little grate a woman of honour, to think she has made such a one her Master, who perhaps would before have thought it a preferment to have been her servant. Nay farther, such marriages have commonly an ill reflection on the modesty of the Woman, it being usually presumed that where the distance was so great, as to discourage such an attemt on his part, there was some invitation on hers. So that upon all accounts she is very forlorn who thus disposes of herself: yet 'tis too well known such matches have oft been made, and the same levity and inconsideration may betray others to it; and therefore 'tis their concern well to ballast their minds and to provide that their passion, never get the ascendant over their reason. 18. Another very necessary equality is that of their judgement as to Religion. I do not mean that they are to catechise each other as to every minute speculative point; but that they be of the same profession, so as to join together in the worship of God. It is sure very uncomfortable that those who have so closely combined all their other interests, should be disunited in the greatest; that one Church cannot hold them, whom one house, one bed does; and that religion which is in itself the most unitingthing, should be the only disagreement between them. I know 'tis oft made a compact in such matches, that neither shall impose their opinion upon the other: yet I doubt 'tis seldom kept, unless it be by those whose carelessness of all religion abates their zeal to any one. But where they have any earnestness in their way, especially where one party thinks the other in a damnable error, 'twill scarce be possible to refrain endeavouring to reduce them; and that endeavour begets disputes, those disputes heats, those heats disgusts, and those disgusts perhaps end in aversion; so that at last their affections grow as unreconcilable as their opinions, and their religious jars draw on domestic. Besides if none of these personal debates happen, yet the education of the children will be matter of dispute; the one parent will still be countermining the other, each seeking to recover the others proselytes. Nay it introduces faction into the inferior parts of the family too: the servants, according to their different persuasions bandy into leagues and parties; so that it endangers, if not utterly destroys all concord in families: and all this train of mischiefs, should methinks be a competent prejudice against such matches. 19 There is yet a third particular wherein any great disproportion is much to be avoided, and that is in Years. The humours of youth and age differ so widely, that there had need be a great deal of skill to compose the discord into a harmony. When a young woman marries an old man, there are commonly jealousies on the one part and loathe on the other; and if there be not an eminent degree of discretion in one or both, there will be perpetual disagreements. But this is a case that does not often happen among those I now speak to: for though the avarice of Parents sometimes forces maids upon such matches, yet widows who are their own choosers seldom make such elections. The inequality among them commonly falls on the other side, and old women marry young men. Indeed any marriage is in such a folly and dotage, they who must suddenly make their beds in the dust, what should they think of a nuptial couch? And to such the answer of the Philosopher is apposite, who being demanded what was the fittest time for marrying, replied, For the young not yet, for the old not at all. 20. But this dotage becomes perfect frenzy and madness when they choose young husbands: this is an accumulation of absurdities and contradictions. The husband and the Wife are but one person; and yet at once young and old, fresh and withered. 'Tis a reversing the decrees of nature, and therefore 'twas no ill answer which Dionysius the Tyrant gave his mother, who in her age designed such a match, that though by his regal power he could dispense with positive laws, yet he could not abrogate those of nature; or make it fit for her an old woman to marry a young man. 'Tis indeed an inversion of seasons, a confounding the Calendar, making a mongrel month of May and December: and the conjunction proves as fatal as it is prodigious; it being scarce ever seen that such a match proves tolerably happy. And indeed 'tis not imaginable how it should, for first 'tis to be presumed she that marries so must marry meanly, no young man who does not need her fortune will take her person. For though some have the humour to give great rates for inanimate antiquities, yet none will take the living gratis. Next she never misses to be hated by him she marries: he looks on her as his rack and torment, thinks himself under the lingering torture devis d by Mezentius, a living body tied to a dead. Nor must she think to cure this by any the little adulteries of art: she may buy beauty, and yet can never make it her own; may paint, yet never be fair. 'Tis like enameling a mudwall, the coursness of the ground will spoil the varnish; and the greatest exquisitness of dress serves but to illustrate her native blemishes. So that all she gains by this is to make him scorn as well as abhor her. 21. Indeed there is nothing can be more ridiculous, than an old Woman gaily set out; and it was not unaptly said of Diogenes to such a one, If this decking be for the living, you are deceived; if for the dead, make haste to them: and I doubt many young husbands will be ready to say as much. Naybecause death comes not quick enough to part them, there is few have patience to attend its loitering pace: the man bids adieu to the Wife though not to her fortune, takes that to maintain his luxuries else where, allows her some little annuity, and makes her a pensioner to her own estate. So that he has his design, but she none of hers: he married for her fortune, and he has it; she for his person, and has it not: and which is worse buys her defeat with the loss of all; he commonly leaving her as emty of money as he found her of wit. 22. And truly this is a condition deplorable enough, and yet usually fails even of that comfort which is the last reserve of the miserable, I mean Pity. 'Tis the Wise man's question, Eccles. 12. 13. Who will pity a charmer that is bitten with a Serpent? he might have presumed less on his skill, and kept himself at a safer distance; and s●…re the like may be said of her. Alas, what are her feeble charms, that she should expect by them to fix the giddy appetites of youth? And since she could so presume without sense, none will regret that she could be convinced by smart. Besides, this is a case wherein there have been a multitude of unhappy Precedents which might have cautioned her. He that accidentally falls down an undiscovered precipice is compassionated for his disaster; but he that stands a great while on the brink of it, looks down and sees the bottom strewed with the mangled carcases of many that have thence fallen; if he shall deliberately cast himself into their company, the blame quite extinguishes the pity; he may astonish, but not melt the beholders. And truly she who casts herself away in such a match, betrays not less but more wilfulness. How many ruins of unhappy women present themselves to her, like the wracks of old vessels, all split upon this rock? And if she will needs steer her course purposely to do the same, none ought to grudge her the shipwreck she so courts. 23 Nor has she only this negative discomfor to be deprived of pity, but she is loaded with censures and reproach. The World is apt enough to malicious errors, to fix blame where there is none, but 'tis seldom guilty of the charitative, does not overlook the smallest appearance of evil, but generally puts the worst construction on any act, that it will with any probability bear; and according to that measure women in this condition can expect no very mild descant on them. Indeed such matches are so destitute of any rational Plea, that 'tis hard to derive them from any other motive than the sensitive. What the common conjectures are in that case, is as needless as it is unhansom to declare: I will not say how true they are, but if they be, it adds another reason to the former, why such marriages are so improsperous. All distortions in Nature are usually ominous; and sure such preternatural heats in Age, may very well be reckonded as dismal Presages, & very certain ones too, since they create the ruin they foretell. And truly 'tis not only just, but convenient, that such motives should be attended with such Consequences; that the Bitterness of the one may occasion some reflection on the Sordidness of the other. 'Tis but kindly, that such an Alhallontide Spring should meet with Frosts, and the unplesantness of the event chastise the ugliness of the Design; and therefore I think those that are conscious of the one, should be so far from murmuring, that they should be very thankful for the other; think ●…t God's discipline to bring them again to their Wits, and not repine at that smart which themselves have made necessary. 24. And now I wish all the Ancienter Widows, would seriously weigh how much 'tis their Interest not to sever those two Epithets; that of Ancient they cannot put off, it daily grows upon them; and that of Widow is sure a more proprotionable adjunct to it, then that of Wife; especially when it is to one to whom her Age might have made her Mother. There is a Veneration due to Age, if it be such as disowns not itself: The hoary head, says Solomon, is a crown of glory if it be found in the way of righteousness, Prov. 16. 32. but when it will mix itself with Youth, it is disclaimed by both, becomes the shame of the Old, and the scorn of the Young. What a strange fury is it then which possesses such Women, that when they may dispose their Fortunes to those advantageous Designs before mentioned, they should only buy with them, so undecent, so ridiculous a slavery? that when they may keep up the reputation of Modesty and Prudence, they should expose themselves to an Universal Contemt for the want of both; and that they who might have had a reverence, put themselves even out of the capacity of bare compassion. 25. This is so high a Frenzy, as sure cannot happen in an instant; it must have some preparatory degrees, some rooting in the constitution and habit of the mind: Such Widows have sure some lightness of humour, before they can be so giddy in their Brains, and therefore those that will secure themselves from the Effect, must subtract the Cause; if they will still be wishing themselves young, 'tis odds but within a while they will persuade themselves they are so. Let them therefore content themselves to be old, and as Fashions are varied with Times, so let them put on the Ornaments proper to their Season; which are Piety, Gravity, and Prudence. These will be not only their ornament, but their Armour too; this will gain them such a Reverence, that will make it as improbable they should be assaulted, as impossible they should assault. For I think one may safely say, It is the want of one or all of these, which betrays Women to such Marriages. 26. And indeed it may be a matter of Caution, even to the younger Widows, not to let themselves too much lose to a light frolic humour, which perhaps they will not be able to put off, when it is most necessary they should. It will not much invite a sober Man to marry them while they are young; and if it continue with them till they are old, it may (as natural Motions use) grow more violent towards its end: precipitate them into that ruinous Folly we have before considered. Yet, should they happen to scape that, should it not force them from their Widowhood, it will sure very ill agree with it: for how preposterous is it for an Old Woman to delight in Gauds & Trifles such as were fitter to entertain her gran-childrens? to read Romances with spectacles, & be at Masks and Dance, when she is fit only to act the Antics? These are contradictions to Nature: the tearing off her Marks, and where she has writ fifty or sixty, tolessen (beyond the proportionof the unjust Steward) and write sixteen. And those who thus manage their widowhood, have more reason to bewail it at last then at first, as having more experimentally found the mischif of being left too their own guidance. It will therefore concern them all to put themselves under a safer Conduct, by an●… assiduous Devotion to render themselves up to the leading of the One infallible Guide, who, if he be not a covering of the eyes, Gen. 20. 16. to preclude all second Choices, may yet be a light to them for discerning who are fit to be chosen; that if they see fit to use their liberty and Marry, they may yet take the Apostles restriction with it, 1 Cor. 7. 40. that it be only in the Lord. Upon such sober Motives, and with such due Circumstances as may approve it to Him, and render it capable of his Benediction. The Close. 1. I HAVE now gone through both Parts of the proposed Method. The former has presented those Qualifications which are equally necessary to every Woman: These, as a Root, send sap and vigour to the distinct Branches, animate & impregnate the several successive States through which she is to pass. He that hath pure Ore or Bullion, maycast it intowhat Form best fits his use, nay may translate it from one to another; and she who has that Mine of Virtues, may furnish out any Condition; her being good in an absolute consideration, will certainly make her so in a relative. On the other side, she who has not such a Stock, cannot keep up the Honour of any State; like corrupted Liquor, emty it from one Vessel to another, it still infects and contaminates all. And this is the cause thatWomen are alike complained of under all Forms, because so many want this Fundamental Virtue: were there more good Women, there would be more modest Virgins, loyal and obedient Wives, and sober Widows. 2. I must therefore entreat those who will look on this Tract, not only to single out that part which bears their own Inscription, but that they think themselves no less concerned in that which relates indefinitely to their Sex; endeavour to possess themselves of those excellencies which should be as universal as their kind: and when they are so stored with Matter, they may leave Providence to diversify the Shape, and to assign them their Scene of Action. 3. And now would God it were as easy to persuade, as it is to propose; and that this Discourse may not be taken only as a Gazet for its newness, & discarded as soon as read; but that it may at least advance to the honour of an Almanac, be allowed one Year ere it be out of date: and in that time, if frequently & seriously consulted, it may perhaps awaken some Ladies from their stupid Dreams, convince them that they were sent into theWorld for nobler purposes, then only to make a little Glittering in it; like a Comet, to give a blaze, and then disappear. And truly, if it may Operate but so far as to give them an effective sense of that, I shall think it has done them a considerable Service: They may, I am sure, from that Principle, deduce all necessary Consequences, and I wish they would but take the pains to draw the Corollaries; for those Inductions they make to themselves, would be much more efficacious than those which are drawn to their hands. Propriety is a great endearment, we love to be Proselytes to ourselves; and People oft resist others Reasons, who would upon mere partiality pay reverence to their own. 4. But besides this, there would be another Advantage, if they could be but got to a custom of considering, by it they might insensibly undermine the grand Instrument of their ruin. That careless incogitancy, so remarkably frequent among all, and not least among Persons of Quality, is the source of innumerable Mischiefs; 'tis the Delilah, that at once lulls and betrays them; it keeps them in a perpetual Sleep, binds up their Faculties, so that, though they are not extinct, yet they become useless. Plato used to say, That a man asleep was good for nothing: and 'tis cretainly no less true of this Moral drousiness than the Natural. And as in Sleep the fancy only is in motion, so these inconsiderate Persons, they rather dream then discourse entertain little trifling Images of things, which are presented by their Senses, but know not how to converse with their Reason. So that in this drowsy state, all temtations come on them with the same advantage, with that of a thief in the night; a Phrase by which the Scripture expresses the most inevitable unforeseen danger, 1 Thess. 5, 2. We read in Judges, how easily Laish became a preyto a handful of men, merely because of the supine negligent humour of the Inhabitants, which had cut them off from allintercourse with any who might have succoured them, Jud. 18. 27, 28. and certainly it gives no less opportunity to our Spiritual Assailants, leaves us naked and unguarded to receive all their Impressions. How prodigious a thing is it then, that this state of dulness and danger should be affectedly chosen? yet we see it too often is, even by those whose qualities & Education fit them for more Ingenious Elections; nay, which is yet more riddle, that very aptness disenables, sets them above what it prepares them for. Labour is looked on as utterly incompatible with Greatness, and Consideration is looked on as a labour of the mind; and there are some Ladies, who seem to reckon it as their Prerogative, to be exempted from both; will no more apply their Understandings to any serious Discuffion, than their Hands to the Spindle and Distaff; the one they think pedantic, as the other is mean. In the mean time, by what strange measures do they proceed? they look on Idiots as the most deplorable of Creatures, because they want reason, and yet make it their own excellence and pre-eminence, to want the use of it; which is indeed so much worse than to want the thing, as sloth is worse than poverty, a moral defect then a natural. But we may see by this, how much civil & sacred estimates differ: for we find the Bereans commended, not only as more diligent, but as more noble too, Act. 17. 11. because they attentively considered, and strictly examined the Doctrine preach ' a to them. By which they may discern, that in God's Court of Honour, a stupid Oscitancy is no ennobling Quality, however it comes to be thought so in theirs. 5. And if this one point might be gained, if they would but so far actuate their Reason, as deliberately and duly to weigh their Interest, they would find that so strictly engaging them to allthat is virtuous; that they must have a very invincible resolution for ruin, if that cannot persuade them: and I hope all women are not Medea's, whom the Poet brings in avowing the horridness of that fact, which yet the resolved to execute. They are generally rather timorous, and apt to start at the apprehension of danger; let them but see a serpent though at a great distance; they will need no homilies or lectures to be persuaded to fly it. And sure did they but clearly discern what a sting there is in those vicious follies they embrace, their fear would make them quit their hold; put them in such a trembling, as would, like that of Belshazzars, slacken their joints, and make those things drop from them, which before they most tenaciously grasped. For indeed in sin there is a conspiration of all that can be dreadful to a rational being, so that one may give its compendium by the very reverse of that which the Apostle gives of Godliness, 1 Tim. 4. 8. for as the one has the promises, so the other has the curses of this life, and of that to come. 6. In this life every depraved act (much more habit) has a black shadow attending it; it casts one inward upon the conscience in uncomfortable upbraid and regrets. 'Tis true indeed, some have the art to disguise that to themselves by casting a yet darker over it; suppressing all those reluctings byan industrious stupefaction; making their souls so perfect-night, that they cannot see those black images their consciences represent. But as this renders their condition but the more wretched; so neither can they blind others though they do themselves. Vice casts a dark shadow outwards too, not such as may conceal but betray its self: and as the evening shadows increase in dimension, grow to a monstrosity and disproportion; so the longer any ill habit is continued, the more visible, the more deformed it appears, draws more observation and more censure. 7. 'Twere indeed endless to reckon up the temporal evils to which it exposes its votaries; immodesty destroi's their fame, a vain prodigality their fortune, anger makes them mad, pride hateful, levity renders them despised, obstinacy desperate, and irreligion is a complication of all these, fills up their measure both of guilt and wretchedness, so that had virtue no other advocate, her very Antagonist would plead for her: the miserable consequences of vice, would like the flames of Sodom send all considering persons to that little Zoar, which how despicable soever it may have appeared before, cannot but look invitingly when safety is inscribed on its gates. 8. But it must infinitely more do so, if they please to open a Visto into the other World, make use of divine perspectives to discern those distant objects which their grosser senses do here intercept. There they may see the dismal Catastrophe of their Comedies, the miserable inversion of all unlawful or unbounded pleasures: there that Prophetic menace concerning Babylon which we find, Rev. 18. 7. will be literally verified upon every unhappy soul, According as she exalted herself and lived delicately, so much the more tribulation give her; the torment of that life will bear proportion to the pride and luxuries of this. It will therefore be necessary for those who here wallow in pleasures, to confront to them the remembrance of those rivers of Br●…mstone, and ask themselves the Prophet's question, Who can dwell with everlasting burnings? We find Esay, when he denounces but temporal judgements against the daughters of Zion, he exactly pursues the Antithesis, and to every part of their effeminate delicacy he opposes the direct contrary hardship; instead of sweet smells there shall be a stink, instead of a girdle a rent, in stead of well-set hair baldness, in stead of a stomacher a girding with sackcloth, and burning in stead of beauty, Esai. 3. 24. 9 It were well the daughters of our Zion would copy out this lecture, and prudently foresee how every particular sin or vanity of theirs will have it's adapted punishment in another World. And sure this consideration well digested, must needs be a forcible expedient to cleanse them from all filthiness of flesh and spirit, as the Apostle speaks 2 Cor. 7. 1. For is it possible for her to cherish and blow up her libidinous flames here, who considers them but as the first kindle of those inextinguishable ones hereafter? Can she make it her study to please her appetite, that remembers that Dives' unintermitted feast ends in as unallaied a thirst? Or can she deny the crumbs of her table to that Lazarus, to whom she foresees she shall then supplicate for a drop of water? In fine can she lay out her whole industry, her fortune, nay her ingenuity too, in making provision for the flesh, who considers that that flesh will more corrupt by pampering, and breed the worm that never dies? Certainly no woman can be so desperately daring, as thus to attaque damnation, resist her reason and her sense, only that she may ruin her soul; and unless she can do all this, her foresight will prove her escape, and her viewing the bottomless pit in Landscape and picture will secure her from a real descent into it. 10. But now that this Tract may not make its exit in the shape of a fury, bring their meditations to hell and there leave them, it must now at last shift the Scene, and as it has showed the blackness of vice by that outer darkness to which it leads, we also will let in a beam of the Celestial light to discover the beauty of Virtue; remind the Reader that there is a region of joy as well as a place of torment, and piety and virtue is that milky way that leads to it; a state, compared to which the Elysium of the heathen is as inconsiderable as it is fictitious, the Mahometan Paradise as flat and insipid as it is gross and brutish; where the undertaking of the Psalmist shall be completely answered, those that fear the Lord shall want no manner of thing that is good, Ps. 34. 10. And this happy state is as accessible as excellent, God is not unsincere in his proposals, offers not these glories only to Tantalise and abuse us, but to animate and encourage mankind. He sets up an inviting prize, and he not only marks out, but levels the way to it; makes that our duty which is also our pleasure, yea and our honour too: So has he contrived for our ease, that knowing how hardly we can divest our voluptuousness and ambition, he puts us not to it; all he demands is but that he may choose the objects, and in that he is yet more obliging, for by that at once he refines and satisfies the desires. He takes us us off indeed from the fulsome pleasures of sense, which by their grosseness may cloy, yet by reason of their emtiness can never fill us; and brings us to taste the more pure spiritual delights which are the true elixir of Pleasures; in comparison whereof all the sensual are but as the dregs or feces in an extraction, after the spirits are drawn off. In like manner he calls us from our aspiring to those pinnacles of honour, where we always sit totter ●…gly and often full down, but yet invites us to soar higher, where we shall have the moon with all her vicissitudes and changes under our feet Rev. 12. 1. and enjoy a grandeur as irreversible as splendid. 11. Thus does he show us a way to hollow our most unsanctified affections; thus, according to the Prophecy of Zeehariah, may holiness be writ even upon the bells of the horses, Zec. 14. 20. upon our most brutal inclinations; and thus may all those feminine Passions which now seduce women from Virtue, advance them in it. Let her that is amorous, place her love upon him who is (as the Spouse tells us, Cant. 5. 10.) the chiefest among ten thousand; she that is angry, turn her edge against her sins; she that is haughty, disdain the Devil's drudgery; she that is fearful, dread him who can destroy both Body and Soul in Hell, Matt. 5. 28. and she that is sad, reserve her tears for her penitential offices. Thus may they consecrate even their infirmities; and though they cannot Deify, or erect Temples to them, as the Romans did to their Passions, nay their Diseases; yet after they are thus cleansed, they may sacrifice them as the Jews did the clean Beasts in the Tabernacle. Only irreligion and profaneness is exempt from this Privilege, no water of Purification can cleanse it, or make it serviceable in the Temple; that, like the spoils of Jericho, is so execrable, that it must be devoted to destruction, as an accursed thing, Jos. 6. 17. For though God do not despise the work of his own hands, have so much kindness to his Creatures, that he endeavours to reduce all our native inclinations to their primitive rectitude, and therefore does not abolish, but purify them; yet Atheism is none of those, 'tis a counterblast from hell, in opposition to that mighty wind in which the holy Spirit descended. Tho the subject in which it subsists may be reformed, the person may turn Christian, and the wit that maintained its blasphemousparadoxes may be converted to holier uses: yet the quality itself is capable of no such happy Metamorphosis; that must be extirpated, for it cannot be made tributary; which shows how transcendent an ill that is which cannot be converted to good: even that Omnipotence which can out of the very stones raise children to Abraham, attemts not any transmutation of this; which ought therefore to possess all hearts with a detestation of it, and to advance them in an earnest pursuit of all the parts of Piety. 12. And that is it which I would now once more (as a farewell exhortation) commend to my female Readers, as that which virtually contains all other accomplishments; 'tis that pearl in the Gospel for which they may ' part with all and make a good bargain too. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom says the wisest of men Prov. 1. 7. and by his experience he shows that it is the completing end of it too; for he no sooner declined from that, but he grew to dotage and dishonour. Let all those therefore to whom God has dispensed an outward affluence, given them a visible splendour in the eyes of the World, be careful to secure to themselves that honour which comes from God only, Joh. 5. 44. unite their souls to that supreme Majesty who is the fountain of true honour who in his bestowing the Crown of righteousness proceeds by the same mesures by which he disposed the Crown of Israel, when he avowed to Samuel that he looked not on the outward appearance but beheld the heart, Sam. 16. 7. If God see not his own Image there, all the beauty and gaiety of the outward form is despicable in His eyes, like the apples of Sodom only a Kind of painted dust. But if Piety be firmly rooted there, they then become like the King's daughter all glorious within too; a much more vanluable bravery than the garment of needlework and vesture of Gold, Psalm. 45. 13. And this is it that must enter them into the King's Palace, into that new Jerusalem, where they shall not wear, but inhabit pearls and Gems Rev. 21. 19 be beautiful without the help of art or nature, by the mere reflection of the Divine brightness; be all that their then enlarged comprehensions can wish, and infinitely more than they can here imagine. FINIS. THE CONTENTS. Part. I. Sect. 1. Of Modesty. p. 1. Sect. 2. Of Meekness. p. 29. Sect. 3. Of Compassion. p. 48. Sect. 4. Of Afsability. p. 65. Sect. 5. Of Piety. p. 79. Part II. Sect. 1. Of Virgins. p. 143. Sect. 2. Of Wives. p. 165. Sect. 3. Of Widows. p. 210. The Close. p. 234.