CATAPLUS: OR, Aeneas his Descent to HELL. A MOCK POEM,  
In imitation of the Sixth Book of Virgil's Aeneis, in English Burlesque.  
Vidi & crudeles dantem Salmonea poenas,  
Dum flammas Jovis & sonitus imitatur Olympi.  Virgil Aeneis. 
LONDON, Printed for Maurice Atkins. 1672.   

CATAPLUS.  

a 
SIC fatur lacrymen classic immittit habenas;  
Et tandem Euboicis Cumarum allabitur oris.   THus as he spoke weeping like child  
From thence in piteous dudgeon sailed,  
And by the help of wind and tide  
The vessels toward Cumae ride.  

b 
Tum dente tenaci  
Anchora fundabat naves.—   Then labour-sweating Seamen got up  
And into Sea cast prison pot-hook  
Instead of anchor; to save charges  
They rowed about in boats and barges.  

c Juvenum manus emicat arden's.  Upon a sudden then a rout  
Of Slubberdegullions leapt out:  
A shore no sooner had they got,  
But all the Country fell to pot.  

d 
Quaerit pars semina flammae  
Abstrusa in venis Silicis.—   Some struck fire, some pell mell  
Down trees with trusty hatchets fell.  

e 
Pars densa ferarum  
Tecta rapit, silvas, inventáque flumina monstrat.   Others went to neighbouring village  
Breaking open farm-houses for pillage,  
Plundering yards of Ducks and Geese,  
And Cupboards too of bread and Cheese.  
Down from Cobweb roofs were taken  
Many a tongue and flitch of Bacon;  
Such was their appetite and hunger  
They ransacked all the victual hung there.  
But what a quarter they did keep  
Can't be expressed in stealing sheep,  
And Oxen what ere they could get,  
For all was fish that came to net.  
Nay these whoreson villains fell fierce  
Upon all butteries and sellars.  

f 
At pius Aeneas arts, quibus altus Apollo  
Praesidet, horendaeque procul secreta Sibyllae  
Antrum immane petit.—   Mean while Aeneas went all o'er  
Parish and town from door to door,  
Enquiring all along the road  
Where the Sibyl kept abode.  

g 
Cui mentem animúmque  
Delius inspirat vates, aperítque futura.   This Sibyl was a cunning woman  
Yielding in her art to no man:  
By slight of hand she was right able  
To strike a sixpence through a table.  
She had the Necromantic tone  
With a heigh praesto Spirit be gone.  
She was at Fortune-telling good,  
And Physiognomy well understood:  
When any goods miscarried were  
To her the Country did repair.  
There wasn't a pocket picked, or house  
Broke open, but she could thief produce.  
She was as good at devil straddling  
As Mol-Cutpurse or Mother Maudlin.  

h Jam subeunt Triviae lucos atque aurea tecta.  The crew were come unto a place  
Where trees did grow as thick as grass,  
Near which a pretty market town  
With glittering shindle like gold shone.  

i Daedalus (ut fama est) fugiens Minoïa regna  This town did get its same and glory  
(As 'tis recorded in old story)  
By Daedalus the Carpenter,  
Who flew his Country and came there.  
(By all report 'tis warrantable  
He had outrun the Constable.)  

k Insuetum per iter gelidas enavit ad Arctos.  Instead of going in foot tract  
He carried was 'pon devils back,  
Through thickened mist and foggy air,  
The bearer scarce himself knew where.  

l Chalcidicâque levis tandem super astitit arce.  At last in view of all the people  
He hitcht 'pon spire of magic steeple:  
And truly had not some ran quick  
And succoured him just in the nick,  
He had broke his neck and life lost there,  
As sure (poor wretch) as God's in Gloster,  
Wings with him always he did carry,  
Of which he was exceeding chary:  
Now whether he the same did pluck  
From Woodcock or from water-duck,  
Or whether from the sides of pigeon,  
From pheasant, partridge, teal and widgeon;  
Some say this and some say that,  
Authors write I know not what▪  
The wings were wings, plucked from what bird  
They were, it matters not a—  
Let ' circumstances weighty follow,  

m 
Tibi Phoebe sacravit  
Remigium alarm, posultque immania templa.   To wit, he offered 'em to Apollo.  
And to show himself religious  
Built a Conventicle ridge house.  

n 
In foribus letum Androgeo—  
— Tum pendere poenas  
Cecropidae jussi (miserum) septena quotannis  
Corpora natorum—   Before the gate a Gibbet stood  
Of hardy weatherbeaten wood,  
Where hung a spacious table, in fine  
Much like unto a Country Inn Sign.  
There pictured was Androgeo  
With seven Varlets in a row,  
In the same posture as they hung  
When to Athens gallows strung;  
For yearly in that roguish town  
Was tied up many a mother's son.  
Many a thief and highway padder  
Mounted up on fatal Ladder.  

o Contrà elata mari respondet Gnossia tellus.  On t'other side a pool across was  
A piece of pasture-ground called Gnossos,  
Which careful Grazier did stock  
With hided herd and fleecy flock.  
And now I'm come (Reader) to tell  
A story sad that there befell:  

p 
Hic crudelis amor tauri, suppostáque furto  
Pasiphäe.—   There lived a woman near an oak  
As good as ever did strike stroke,  
Who shall be nameless (though her name  
Has not a stranger been to fame)  
She with her husband not content  
(For he alas! was impotent;  
In short, he was another such thing  
As waggish people call a ridgling)  
Herself did often prostitute  
To filthy lust of horned brute.  

q Mistúmque genus prolésque biformis.  Her pregnant womb at last was full  
Part by Husband, part by bull:  
And when she teemed she brought forth half  
A man, and all the rest was calf;  
Which being grown up big, became  
A monster which no folk could tame.  
This the Cornuted husband cuts  
To the very heart blood and guts.  
Therefore having sound baste her  

r Hic labor ille domûs & inextricabilis error.  Into Limbo strait he cast her.  
But Daedalus taking compassion  

s Magnum Reginae sed enim miseratus amorem.—  She should be used in such fashion  
(Thinking it only forsooth  
To be a simple trick of youth)  
Delivered her from rack and pain,  
And set her 'pon her legs again.  

t Ipse dolos tecti ambagésque resolvit.—  Breaking with hammer bars of iron  
Which her body did environ.  
This story writ was ' sore the door,  
(Of which I gave a hint before.)  
But hold, for we go further on,  
This Daedalus had had a son,  
Who was in depth of water drowned,  
Never after to be found:  
He was as tender of his son Dick,  
As busy Hen is over one Chick;  

u 
Tu quoque magnam  
Partem operis tanti (sineret dolour) Icare haberes.   And had in that same place we told on  
Hung his picture up all Golden,  
Had he not met that common curse  
To be poor rascal out of purse.  

c 
Quin protinus omnia  
Perlegerent oculis—   Aeneas had taken more pleasure  
In lingering here, but wanted leisure.  

d 
Nijam praemissus Achates  
Afforet, atque unà Phoebi Triviaeque sacerdos.   For the true Trojan (his old servant)  
Achates back returned from errand.  
In company of aged hag,  
Who did on lazy crutches lag.  
(If old Historians don't balk us)  
She was the Succuba of Glaucus.  
In spell or Hocus Pocus trick  
She did good service to old Nick.  
Then with a voice like mouse in cheese  

e 
fatur quae talia Regi:  
Non hoc ista sibi tempus spectacula poscit.   To Aeneas out these words did squeeze:  
I wonder here ye loitering lie  
When you have other fish to fry.  
Ye must choose out of herd (that's given  
Not to vile frisking) heifers seven,  
That never have at leapfrog been,  
Nor have above two Summers seen.  

f 
Talibus afflata Aenaeam: nec sacra morantur  
Jussa viri:   Thus when she had spoke with much ado  
Butchers about the business go.  

g Teucros vocat alta in templa sacerdos.  She then invited in the Trojans  
To see her underground-laid lodgings,  
Which much was like unto a cave  
Which Capouchian Friars have,  
Cut out in weather beaten rock  
Proof'gainst rain and tempest shock.  

h 
Excisum Euboicae latus rupis in antrum,  
Quo lati ducunt aditus centum, ostia centum.   There were East, West, North, and South,  
Holes wider than a Canon's mouth,  
And to every one a shutter  
To keep from hearing noise and clutter.  

i 
pectus anhelum  
Et rabie fera corda tument—   But when the trap doors were set open,  
You'd think Hells dungeon loose, and broken.  
The Sibyl would belch, fart, and stink,  
As if possessed, or in her drink.  
Assoon's the scoundrels came she hoist  
Her bum, and in their faces foisted.  
Wriggling out nasty grunt and cry,  
Like farrowing Sow immured in Sty.  
Then lest she should too much a scent give,  
Thrust into breech finger retentive.  
But bowel thorow-purging pang  
Twitched her with wombling gripe and twang.  
At last by force it fluttered out  
Like pump water stopped up with clout.  
Flouncing about in such large doses  
As made the Trojans hold their noses,  
She looked o'th' sudden pale as ashes,  
And smeared with excremental dashes,  
As if she had taken a full cup  
Of Chemic potion, or jallop.  

k 
Majórque videri  
Nec mortale sonans.—   With that she swelled as big as quack  
Drinking toad in glass of sack.  
Stomach and belly than she puts out,  
As if she meant to squirt her guts out.  
At last she howled and gave a squawle,  
And thus did 'pon Aeneas' call.  

l 
cessas in vota precésque  
Tios (ait) Aenaea?   Quoth she, I mar'le where thou wert bred  
To see a woman almost dead,  
And not with helping hand come nigh her,  
Nor lend so much as simple prayer.  

m 
Neque enim antè dehiscent  
Ora domûs.   For if thou dost not come and shake me,  
Another fit will straightway take me;  
Unless I'm stirred and jumbled sound  
My guts will never discharge roundly.  

n 
Gelidus Teucris per dura cucurrit  
Offa tremor.—   With that for fear of another spatter  
The Trojans turned as weak as water,  
They trembled so in every joint  
Many in breeches loosed a point.  
Aeneas then with stomach groans  
Fell down upon his marrow bones;  

o 
Phoebe graves Trojae semper miserate labores,  
Dardana qui Paridis direx'ti tela manúsque;   O Phoebus that didst ever pity  
Troy town, O harken to my ditty.  
O thou that clapst upon the shoulder  
Paris, and madest him 'gainst foe bolder:  
If to me now thou art difficile  
Thou mayst for the future go whistle.  
I hate ingratitude as the devil;  
I must confess thou hast been civil,  
And willing wert with all thy heart  
To serve me more than my desert.  

p 
Tot maria intravi, duce te, penitùsque repostas  
Massylum gentes praetentáque Syrtibus arva.   Thou when I was foundered and weary  
Hast often made me brisk and merry:  
When candle has been out of socket,  
Thou hast put money in my pocket.  
And when I have been put to shift,  
Thou hast helped me out at a dead lift.  
In journey and in tedious travel,  
When shoes were stocked with filth and gravel.  

q Jam tandem Italiae fugientis prendimus oras.  For Italy I am now bound  
Pray let me come there safe and sound.  
For I had never hither come  
Were I not driven from house and home.  
Wretched I Anchises poor son  
Am forced to range and seek my fortune.  
Up and down to see me lurk  
Would move even pity in a Turk.  

r 
Diique Deaeque omnes quibus obstitit Ilium & ingens  
Gloria Dardanidûm.—   O therefore all ye ranting Heroes  
That were to Ilium bugs and scare-crows;  
And all ye proud dames that did straddle  
Scimmington 'pon warlike saddle,  
I hope you are of that good nature  
To pity a distressed Creature.  

s 
Túque O sanctissima vates  
Praescia venturi.—   And you too mother (whom I guess  
To be a witch or Prophetess)  
Pray I may (O beldame hag sage)  
To Latium come with bag and baggage.  

t 
Tum Phoebo & Triviae solido de marmore templum  
Instituam   To Phoebus (by th' foot of Priam)  
And to his simpering sister Diana,  
I'll dedicate a house (though little)  
And resign my right and title:  
I'll do it, there's my hand, believe me,  
Let me be hanged if I deceive thee.  
'Tis not my nature to be base,  
In honour I'll not bate an ace.  

u 
Hîc ego namque tuas sortes arcanáque sata  
Dicta meae geuti ponam, lectòsque sacrabo  
Alma viros; foliis tantùm ne carmina manda.   But to confirm the bargain well,  
I'll give thee here my hand and seal;  
And for more convenient tie  
Witness all the company.  
Let not the writings be destroyed  
For then you know the case is void,  
And we shall be but jeer and sport  
When we come to appear in court.  

x finem dedit ore loquendi.  At this he prudently gave o'er  
And to that purpose said no more.  

y At Phoebi nondum patience—  At which the woman began again  
To be troubled with her pain.  
He that had at that time seen her  
Would think the Devil had been in her;  
See winst and capered as if some  
Had clapped hot iron to her bum.  
'Twas labour much for one of her age  
To suffer so much belly garbage.  

z 
tanto magìs ille fatigat  
Os rabidum, fera corda domans, fingítque premendo.   At last with volley loud and full  
She made in cave another stool:  
Rat a tat tat the spirit bounced out,  
And flakes of fierce St. Reverence flounst out.  
After which crack, from out behind  
Broke such an impetuous wind  
(You would have sworn her guts were broken)  

a Ostia jámque domûs patuere ingentia—  As strait set all the trap doors open.  
Her pop gun gave as loud report,  
As Canon charged from 'laram'd port.  
At length having appeased tail frothing  
And cleansed the filth of inner clothing,  
She oped her mouth dropping like snout  
Of heavy Winter-idling lout:  

b O tandem magnis pelagi defuncte perîclis.  O thou whom Juno fell with whipcord  
Has often firked and clawed a ship board,  
Art now ashore from water butches,  
And out at present of her clutches.  
Yet don't thou think thou art secure,  

c Sed terrae graviora manent  For thou'lt o'land more stripes endure:  
The whoreson quean before shee'th done  
Will catch thee again at long run.  

d 
In regna Lavini  
Dardanidae venient (mitte hanc de pectore curam)  
Sed non & venisse volent bella horrida bella.   Thou and this thy wretched rabble,  
With much ado at length shall scrabble  
Into the borders of Lavinus,  
(But hold you coxcomb why dost whine thus)  
And there thou'lt be tormented so,  
Thou'lt wish thou wert at Jericho,  
And reason have to curse the hour  
Thou first didst stir foot out of door.  
For I foretell there will be scuffles,  
Many blows, bastings and buffles.  

e Tibrim multo spumantem sanguine cerne.  There are a whoreson surly tribe there,  
That live about the river Tiber,  
From whom you shall have knocks and raps  
And thumps and dowses in the chaps.  
'Tis well if after all these crosses  
You shall come home with bloody noses.  

f 
Nec Dorica castra  
Defuerint—   You'll meet huge rawbone Saunder huffs,  
As good as Grecian lowts, at cuffs;  
They're lusty fellows, and stand to't shall  
At wrestling, cudgels or at football:  
They'll kick ye up and down with clump foot  
Until they make your bellies bump out:  
Unless you caution from me can take,  
They'll kick thy breech as flat's a pancake.  

g 
Nec Teucris addita Juno  
usquam aberit—   Juno again shall make thee smart  
And vex thee to thy very heart.  
Nay thou shalt come to such a pass  
With scarce a rag to hide thy arse,  
And ramble through highway and street,  
With scarce a stocking to thy feet.  

h 
cum tu supplex in rebus egenis  
Heu! quas non gentes, quas non oraveris urbes?   Thou shalt be, when thy food grows scant,  
Ready to eat thy nails for want.  
Thou'lt begging go from door to door  
Through Town and Country lean and poor.  
Also thou shalt have scratch and battle  
Tooth and nail with black-list cattle.  

i Causa mali tanti conjux iterum hospita Teucris.  A wench there is given to flickering,  
Who shall be cause of all this bickring.  

k Tu ne cede malis.—  However prithee hap what hap,  
Don't in anger burn thy cap.  
Be bold, and when things go amiss  
Bid fortune and the slaves go kiss.  

d 
Via prima salutis  
Quod minimè reris Graiâ pandetur ab urbe.   But to set thy spirits agog  
Out of Greece thou shalt have prog,  
Hog's puddings, oat-cakes, milk and butter,  
Bacon, eggs, poultry, and a clatter  
Of pease and beans, with panniered baggage  
Of parsnips, turnips, carrots, cabbage.  

e 
Talibus ex adyto dictis Cumaea Sibylla  
Horrendas canit ambages, antróque remugit.   These words the Sibyl chopped from cell low  
And gave (as Author says) cow-bellow.  
She puzzled him with words and phrases  

f Obscuris vera involvens.—  That Janus like had different faces:  
On one side was vizard uncouth,  
On t'other was the naked truth;  
When in a trice her rage and madness  

g Vt primùm cessit furor.—  Was turned into sober sadness.  
Her breast that was with fury crammed,  
Was now as quiet as a Lamb.  

h Incipit Aeneas heros.—  So that Aeneas had his leisure  
And liberty to speak his pleasure.  
Mother, quoth he, I speak from heart,  
I value not these things a fart.  
I knew before you gave me note,  
I should have holes picked in my coat:  
Therefore you might have kept your breath  
To cool your porridge, proverb saith:  

i Vnum oro:  I'm come to ask without offence  
A favour of great consequence.  

k 
quando hic inferni janua Regis  
Dicitur.—   'Tis said that hole there that's kept shut too  
Leads to kitchen of cook Pluto:  
Where muddy Acheron from sink  
Casts hogo forth and noisome stink;  
I have a father there, a wight  
To whom the Devil owed a spite;  
So I might come to h's sight I'm willing  
To spend though it were forty shilling.  

l 
Ire ad conspectum chari genitoris & ora  
Contingat.—   Prithee therefore give me some light  
How I may strike the way aright.  

m 
Ille meum comitatus iter maria omnia mecum,  
Atque omnes pelagi minas coelique ferebat  
Invalidus, vires ultra sortémque senectae.   That Sire of mine as sure's thou'rt sat there  
I've born (God knows) through fire and water  
Upon these shoulders and this back,  
When my neck has been ready crack,  
And bloody rogues pursued behind us,  
Damning and sinking they would find us.  
Well, though I say't (he was my father  
I must confess) and should not rather)  
He was as lusty an old shaver  
As any in this rout I have here.  
Where e'er I went on Land or water  
he'd make a shift to follow after.  
Neither had he flinched a foot, had fates  
Made it rain down dogs and cats;  
Though old was body and decrepit,  
Yet heart was whole and nought could break it.  

n 
Quin ut te supplex peterem, & tua limina adirem,  
Idem orans mandata dabat—   My father (be assured no less thing)  
Gave me a charge upon my blessing  
To seek you out (if to be found  
In any corner above ground)  
Pity begetter and begotten  
(One alive, t'other dead and rotten)  

o Potes namque omnia.—  I know thou canst do any thing  
Because thou'rt good at conjuring,  
Thou keep'st a Mephistophylus  
To turn thee into Cur or Puss,  
So that thou canst delude by barking  
As well as Reinard pullets sharking,  
And knowst the dialects of mewing  
As perfectly as cats a wooing.  
Thou canst be tossed and ride securely  
Upon a windmills hurly burly,  
And sit upon the wheel or hopper  
Without falling or hurting crupper.  
Sometimes thou rig'st with sail and oar  
An Egg-shel, and puttest out from shore;  
Thus in thy little Sciff thou'lt ride  
'Pon Neptune's back, and waves deride.  
Thou dost in secret baskets bear  
Parcels of blustering wind and air,  
And for a Sailer in a calm  
Thou canst disturb the Sea with qualm;  
Sending o'th' the sudden Lapland blast  
To shake the tackle and main Mast.  
If thou dost thy commands advance,  
Joint stools, tables, bedsteads dance.  
By virtue of thy Spells a dr●●● stick  
Shall frisk Coranto with a broom-stick.  
Thou canst in Orchard lay a charm  
To catch base fellow by the Arm.  
Thou art able by singer clench  
The running of fundament stench:  
Thou canst drive folk out of their wits,  
And rack 'em with convulsion fits:  
Thou canst provoke man sick or drunk  
To lie with filthy Turnbold punk.  
Thou canst make inoffensive sleep  
Upon the bridegrooms eyelids creep,  
Although he has a dainty bride  
Snugs discontented by his side.  
If thou canst do these wonders all,  
Than what I ask is very small.  

p Si potuit manes arcessere conjugis Orpheus.  If Scoundrels might to hell go, why  
By your good favour may not I?  
Orpheus a pimp, a mere Jack-straw,  
Could get his wife from devils claw  
Only by sum fum scrape of fiddle  
And windy bagpipes farting twiddle.  

q Si fratrem Pollux alternâ morte redemit.  What was Pollux but a rakell?  
Yet spite of Lucifer he broke hell;  
And swaggering with his arms a kimbo  
Freed his brother out of Limbo.  
Theseus and Hercules were men  
Of metal 'tis confessed, what then?  
In what I pray were they more fitted  
Than I am now to be admitted?  

r Et mî genus ab Jove summo.  My father was as good as theirs,  
And I as either for their ears.  

s Talibus orabat dictis.—  These words as near as I can hit  
Aeneas spoke with grace and wit.  
Then she with much ado arises  

t 
Tunc sic orsa loqui vates—  
Tros Anchisiade, facilis descensus Averni.  
Noctes atque dies patet atri janua Ditis.   Answering thus (O son of Anchises)  
Whose pedigree is of no bad fame  
But is almost as old as Adam;  
The way to th' Devil is plain and broad,  
There is no fear you'll miss the road,  
Night and day always the doors  
Lie open to comers and goers:  

u Sed revocare gradum.—  But when once foot threshold has got o'er  
Return without toil you cannot more.  

w 
Pauci quos aequus amavit  
Juppiter.—   Few but whom (what'ere's the matter)  
jove loves as the Devil loves holy water:  
For there you may for ever linger,  
he'll lend you not a helping finger:  
Besides not one to ten so wise known  
That once being penned in can break prison,  

x Diis geniti potuere.—  Except a brother of the blade  
Which is known expert at the trade.  
A wall almost as strong as iron  
The place doth with fence environ;  
With fortified bulwarks, which  
Are compassed round with puddle ditch.  

y Quod si tantus amor mentis.—  But seeing thou art forward bend  
With resolution and intent,  
And whimsy doth thy noddle take  
To journey to the Stygian Lake,  

z Accipe quae peragenda prius.—  Something must be thought upon  
Before the business can be done.  
There is a tree that long hath stood  
In yonder neighbouring shaggy wood,  

a 
Later arbore opacâ  
Ramus.—   Wherein a bough grows hidden inward  

b ureus & foliis.—  As bright and glittering as drawn winiard,  
Which sacred is to infernal Juno  

c 
Junoni infernae dictus sacer: hunc tegit omnis  
Lucus, & obscuris claudunt convallibus umbrae.   Whose favour by it you will soon know.  
But though this bough be much bright  
Yet it doth not appear in sight,  
Because where you must go to seek it  
Is thorny copse and pricky thicket.  
For the wood stands in valley humble  
Where winds for want of freedom grumble.  

d 
Sed non antè datur telluris operta subire  
Auricomos quam quis decerpserit arbore foetus.  
Hoc sibi pulchra suum ferri Proserpina munus  
Instituit.—   Yet 'tis so ordered by the powers  
(That lie Antipodes to ours)  
Without this bough none shall be whurled  
Through gulf into the other world.  
Proserpina (that in fairy coast  
Sits paramount and rules the roast)  
Expects it due unto her honour  
If any mean to wait upon her:  
Now therefore thou hast thy commission,  
Hasten away with expedition:  
In every brake and briar hunt,  
Breaking up hedge with crabtree plunt.  
Look about with as close inquest  
And carefulness as boy for nest.  

e 
Ritè repertum  
Carpe manu, namque ipse volens facilisque sequetur,  
Si te fata vocant—   When thou hast found out where 'tis stuck  
Climb up and gi't a gentle pluck,  
If 'tis the will of courteous fate,  
In spite of all the world thou'lt have't.  

f Ali er non viribus ullis.  But if thy fate stand opposite  
Thou hadst as good go fairly f—.  
For wert thou as robust as Giant  
Thy hand could not make one twig pliant,  
Or shouldst thou hardy backsword take,  
Thou'dst hack in vain till thy heart ache.  

g Praeterea jacet exanimum tibi corpus amici.  But hold whilst thou art here advising  
And projects in thy fancy raising,  
Since thou cam'st here thou hast a friend  
That is come to a fearful end.  

h 
Sedibus hunc refer antè suis & conde sepulchro.  
Duc nigras pecudes, ea prim a piacula sunto.   Therefore in charity thou'rt bound  
To see him lain in wormy ground;  
And seeing he was an honest tossed,  
Spare at the burial no cost.  
Upon the altar table put on  
Good store of beef and kindly mutton;  

i 
Sic demum lucos Stygios, regna invia vivis  
Aspicies.   Then thou may'st go with freedom down  
To dungeon by none living known.  

k— dixit, pressoque obmutuit ore.  With that she was as mute's a fish  
As mute as woman you could wish.  

l Aeneas moesto defixus lumina vultu.—  Aeneas at this sad news started,  
And with sheep-biters face departed.  
His stomach was as full of sorrow,  
He could have even roared out for wo.  

m 
Cui fidus Achates  
It comes & paribus curis.—   Achates kept him company  
And looked as pitiful as he.  
As both they through the high way walked  

n Multa inter sese vario sermone serebant.  They much of this disaster talked,  
Admiring who the Devil 'twas  
Of whom grim death had made an ass.  
When they were come to quart'ring house  
Where they kept all their rendevouz,  

o 
Misenum in littore sicco,  
Vt venêre, vident indignâ morte peremptum.   They found an honest fellow named  
Misenus, to all fortune damned,  
Who was in filthy pickle laid,  
Dead as a herring, and bewrayed.  

p 
Quo non praestantior alter  
Aere ciere viros.—   This whipster had a plaguy knack  
At trumpet blowing and horn-crack,  
By which he could raise sullen coward  
And make him for the battle toward.  

q Hectoris hic magni fuerat comes.—  He had served Hector all the wars  
In open and in civil jars:  
And for his merit had come up  
To be trumpeter of a troop.  
But when Achilles had in field,  
The Trojan Captain Hector killed,  

r 
Dardanio Aeneae seize fortissimus heros  
Addiderat socium.—   He made friends to Aeneas for  
The office that he had before.  
Aeneas pitying his condition  
Gave him at first word a commission.  
Now how he came dead (if you'll know)  
According to report 'twas so:  

s 
Sed tum fortè cauâ dum personat aequora conchâ  
Demens, & cantu vocat in certamina Divos.   Close by a River as he sat  
A playing 'pon a Flagellate,  
Crying out ever and anon,  
Come who will I'll yield to none;  

t 
Aemulus exceptum Triton—  
Inter saxa virum spumosa immerserat undâ.—   One Triton that was a Sowgelder  
And in a house of rushes dwelled near,  
Taking it in snuff and dudgeon  
To hear boasting of vile Curmudgeon,  
Ran and caught him by the shank  
And shaked him roughly till he stank;  
Then knocking out his brains he slew him  
And madly into water threw him.  

u Ergo omnes magno circum clamore fremebant.  Aeneas therefore and the rout  
Stood the mangled corpse about,  
Yelling like hounds in a full cry  
With Irish note, why wouldst thou die?  
But before they could in solemn plights  
Duly perform the funeral rights,  
They put themselves in equipage  
For work which Sibyl did engage.  

w 
Itur in antiquam Sylvam, Stabula alta ferarum.  
Procumbunt piceae, sonat icta securibus ilex   Helter skelter every man  
In among the thickets ran,  
Where Snakes and Adders without number  
Did the ground and hedges cumber,  
Some with Hatchets, some with Chopping-  
Knives went up and down a lopping,  
Some with Hand-saws, some with crooks,  
Axes and wedges, pruning-hooks,  
Down went Crabtree and bush of slow,  
I marry, Elm, Oak, ground-ash too.  

x Nec non Aeneas opera inter talia primus.  Nor was Aeneas idle seen  
But laboured with tool sharp and keen,  
Suggesting in the rest an ample  
Encouragement by his example.  
Seeing at last but little hopes  
To find the bough in spacious copse,  
He began to be quite out of heart;  
Then from his mouth these words did part:  

y 
Si nunc se nobis ille aureus arbore ramus  
Ostendat nemore in tanto, quando omnia verè  
Heu! nimiùm de te vates, Misene, locuta est.   If in a wood so wide as this  
I shall not bough I look for miss,  
Then I'll be sworn O beldame Nun  
Thou art a Witch as sure's a gun.  

z Vix ea fatus erat, geminae cum fortè columbae.  No sooner had he spoke these words  
But o'er his head he spied two birds,  
Flying to ground where grain did grow,  
As swift as arrow out of bow.  

a Maternas agnoscit aves—  Gramercy quoth Aeneas to 'em  
My trusty Pigeons are ye come?  
You being Letter-carriers know  
All the by-places here I trow,  
My mother Venus has I warrant  
Sent you to me on an errand.  
I do beseech you of all love  

b 
Este deuces.— ubi dives opacat  
Ramus humum.—   Led me directly to the grove  
Where glittering bough like Sunburnt apple  
Doth the twining branches dapple.  

c 
Túque ô dubiis ne defice rebus  
Diva parens.   And Venus if thou dost forsake me  
In nick of time, the Devil take thee.  
The birds well knowing what he uttered  
Into the air with all speed cluttered.  

d Observans quò signa ferant, quò tendere pergant.  He stood stark still and marked their flight  
Till they were almost out of sight.  

e 
Ind ubi venêre ad fauces grave olentis Averni  
Tollunt se celeres.—   Where 'twas their awkward luck to hover  
A stinking house of office over,  
From whence such fumes and hogoes broke forth  
Enough in all reason to choke both,  
Which made them with a murrain fly  
Something loftier in the sky.  
Then in a trice (whilst you can say,  
What's this?) through air they cut their way.  

f 
Sedibus optatis geminâ super arbore sidunt,  
Discolor unde auri per ramos aura refulget:  
Quale solet sylvis brumali frigore viscum  
Frond virere nouâ.—  
Talis erat species auri frondentis.—   And on the tree (concerning which  
We had discourse before) they pitch,  
From whence (the place being dark) a cluster  
Of glow-worms cast a dainty lustre;  
Or have you seen in Wintertime  
On hedge a kind of brittle-slime?  
Or frothy trash which sluggish snail  
Draws along the ground at tail?  
Such was the brightness of the bough  
Of which I gave a hint e'en now.  
Aeneas finds by sign and token  
It was the same which was fore-spoken:  
Then up he skips as quick and pat  
As Squirrel, or mouse-hunting Cat,  

g 
Corripit Aeneas extemplo avidúsque refringit  
Cunctantem, & vatis portat sub tecta Sibyllae.   And off he snapps it at one grapple,  
As greedy as boy Orchard apple:  
With half face-snears and shoulder shrugs  
He with it to the Sibyl trugs.  

h 
Nec minus interea Misenum in littore Troës  
Flebant.   But course of story doth confine us  
To say something more of Misenus.  
The woeful Trojans cried right out  
Sniv'ling and casting snot about.  

i 
Pars calidos latices & ahena undantia flammis  
Expediunt.—   Some of the rabble (men of metal)  
Heat water in a copper kettal,  

k Corpúsque lavant frigentis & ungunt.  And with purgative soap and wash ball  
They cleanse away the body's trash all;  
Then on their shoulders forth they fetch it,  
And on a knotty deal-board stretch it.  
His shirt that stood him much in stead  
Alive, must serve him now he's dead.  
This for a shroud must wrap his arse  
Cause linen was amongst 'em scarce.  
Because there was no Joiner near  
(And Coffins too besides were dear)  
They made a shift and thought it best  
To lay the corpse in gentle chest,  
Which worms had eaten so all o'er  
There scarce was food for any more.  

l Purpureásque super vestes.—  His doublet made of hardy leather  
Which proof was 'gainst all sorts of weather,  
And breeches of undaunted freeze,  
Hanging in cuerpo down at knees,  
And jerkin lined with skin of dog  
In which he looked like armed hog,  
With other raiment (which we may  
Suppose he wore on holy day)  
Were advantageously displayed  
And woollen blanket overlaid.  

m Thurea dona dapes, fuso crateres olivo.  Others very busy were at  
Preparing diet-bread and burnt claret.  
Then up the loaded corpse they fix  

n Pars ingenti subiere pheretro.  On backs of brawny Porters six,  
And on to burial place they bore it,  
With links and wax candles before it:  
They piled up heaps of faggots higher  
Than usually are at bonfire.  
And in they cast the carcase whole,  
Burning it straightway to a coal.  

o 
Postquam collapsi cineres, & flamma quievit;  
Relliquias vino, & bibulam lavere savillam.   Assoon as e'er they saw the fire gone  
They put relics in tub of iron,  
Pouring in that little bub  
That lest was, into the said tub.  
Then (where we all decline to must)  
It was committed to the dust.  

p Dixitque novissima verba.  And many a wish and prayer was given  
Hoping his soul was gone to heaven.  

q 
At pius Aeneas ingenti mole sepulchrum  
Imponit.—   Aeneas sent to a stone-cutter  
To have a tombstone fitly put o'er,  
On which an Epitaph in Text  
Was cut with coat of arms annexed,  
And there if ever you have been  
The fellows name is to be seen;  
I know nothing to the contrary  
But it may there for ever tarry.  

r His acts propere exequitur praecepta Sibyllae.  Aeneas after this ado  
Was in a readiness to go  
Without farther stay or quibble  
As he was ordered by the Sibyl.  

s Spelunca altafui vastóque immanis hiatu.  There was a hole broader than what  
Could covered be by buttock fat,  
Much like unto a privy dungeon  
For quagging Scu●t of bawd to lung on;  
Around which an offensive lake  
In ropes of excrement did flake,  
From whence came such a noisome smell  
Enough to choke the Devil of hell;  

t Quam super haud ullae poterant impune volantes.  ' Twoud kill Kites, Vultures, Ravens, Crows,  
Bustards, Magpies, and Jackdaws.  

u Indè locum Graii dixerunt nomine Avernum.  Wherefore 'tis called Avernus by  
Pedantic Etymology.  
Aeneas fearing greatly to make  
An entrance with a fasting stomach,  

w 
Quatuor ●îc primùm nigrantes terga juvencos  
Constituit.—   Good store of Beef he did command  
To be roasted out of hand,  
Which (soon as ere 'twas took from spit)  
He and his men eat every bit,  
And knuckles with promiscuous clatter  
Scraped the clammy fat from platter.  
No sooner was he risen up  
From meal, but calls for a grace-cup,  

x Voce vocans Hecaten.—  And here, quoth he, ye snaky sisters  
That raise in men fanatic blisters,  
And Pluto (be thou Smith or Tinker  
'Tis all one to me by this drink here)  
And Proserpina (of whom go speeches  
Thou wear'st too much thy husband's breeches)  
Here's to all your generation  
A whole one upon reputation.  
He was a friend to th' pot you'll say  
Being the sober time o'th' day;  
For at this rate he sat and bowsed  

y Ecce autem primi sub lumina solis & ortûs.  Till Sun from Thetis lap was roused.  
The Ale being in his head, the ground  

z 
Sub pedibus mugire solum & juga coepta moveri  
Sylvarum.—   Seemed on a sudden to turn round.  
And Mountains that really stood still  
He thought (cause he himself did) reel.  
He fancied noises in his scull  
(No wonder when in't waves did roll)  

a— Visaeque canes ululare per umbram.  Such as Mastiff howl, and screech  
Of kennel-fraught benighted bitch.  
The Sibyl too was there as drunk  
As Windsor wife or Whetstone punk.  
She cries out in Prophetic rapture  
(Like Puritan a reading chapter)  

b 
— Procul, O procul, este profani,  
Conclamat vates, totóque absistite luco   O all that are profane, and none  
Of the religious, be gone:  
Away ye scoundrel Rascals hence  
Who are of a reprobate sense.  

c Túque invade viam vaginâque eripe ferrum.  And now man begin to look about  
Thou must be resolute and stout:  
Out from eaten scabbard pluck  
Thy man-slaying unpeaceful tuck,  
And now or never make a venture  
And follow me close as I enter.  

d Tantum effata furens antro se immisit aperto.  Then down from brink with care and heed  
On naked bum she gently slid.  
What need she fear? for she could fright  
With Devil's face the dreadfullest spirit.  

e Ille ducem haud timidis vadentem passibus aequat.  Aeneas very bold and pert  
Followed and caught her by the skirt.  

f 
Dii quibus imperium est animarum umbraeque silentes  
Et Phlegeton.—  
Sit mihi fas audita sequi—   But O ye Devils great and small,  
Lucifer, Beelzebub, Belial,  
O all ye fiends and hobgoblins  
Who plague poor mortals for their sins,  
O bugbears, Oberon, and Fairy's  
Who pitch uncleanly slats of dairies,  
O Chaos, Phlegeton, and all  
Hard words upon which Poets call,  
Give me a vein that may surpass  
Homer a la mode, or Hudibras.  
Give me high and mighty wit,  
To th' grandeur of my subject fit.  

g 
Ibant obscuri sola sub nocte per umbras,  
Quale per incertam lunam sub nocte maligna  
Est iter in Sylvis.—   They both went in vault under ground  
Unbeaten ways dark and profound;  
Like travelling a wood a night time  
When neither Moon nor Stars with light shine,  
When people are force grope with hand,  
Nor what colour 'tis understand.  

h Vestibulum ante ipsum—  At last they came unto a gate  
'Gainst which Aeneas ran his pate,  
Stumbling o'er a promiscuous heap  
Of mortals that lay there asleep.  

i 
Luctus, & ultrices posuere cubilia carae,  
Pallentésque habitant morbi, tristisque senectus,  
Et metus, & malesuada fames, et turpis egestas.   There were a company of rakels  
Fettered up in jives and shackles,  
Barretars, and those whose profession  
Wast o cheat at size and session.  
There were likewise Misers decrepit  
Who scraped money up only to keep it.  
And husbandmen that hoarded corn  
When bellies were with famine torn.  
Another parcel lay of women  
That had been thorns and thistles to men:  
Such as would force their honest good  
Husbands perform more than they could;  
Such queans as would curse, swear and huff,  
And their contented cuckolds cuff.  
Under an Elm old and decayed  
A bundle were of idlers laid,  
Fellows produced from natures sink  
Good for nought but to eat and drink,  
Who slept and dreamt of nothing but  
Provision for ungodly gut.  
The Sibyl having unlocked door  
(Which we told you of before,)  

k 
Multáque praeterea variarum monstra ferarum;  
Centauri in foribus stabulant, scyllaeque biformes,  
Et centum geminus Briareus.—   Within the porch was stable wide  
Wherein strange monsters did abide:  
There was a beast the like was none  
Ever at Bartholomew fair shown;  
The forepart was exact mad mallion,  
The hinder shaped like racing stallion.  
There also was an overgrown  
Cur, that had more heads than one:  
There was a Giant too as high-a  
As Danish Colborn, or Goliath.  

l 
Ac bellua Learn  
Horrendum stridens, flammisque armata Chimaera,  
Gorgones harpyiaeque, et forma tricorporis umbra.   There was a Lion looked as sour  
As any Lion in the Tower.  
Another strange creature there was  
Like smug wench in body and face,  
But claws it had with bristled shag on,  
Like those of Griffon or fierce Dragon.  
Besides there was Ens ratiovis  
Which would young Sophister astonish.  

m 
Corripit hic subitâ trepidus formidine ferrum  
Aeneas, strictámque aciem venientibus offered.   Aeneas at these sights a while  
Stunk so you might have smelled a mile;  
(For he before, poor harmless Elf  
Had seen nothing worse than himself)  
Fear made him skip, curvet and caper,  
And out he drew his study Rapier;  
And traversing his ground prepared  
Himself to stand upon his guard.  

i Et ni docta comes—  Had not the Sibyl flown upon him  
And snatched the brandished weapon from him;  
In testy wrath discharged he had blows  
To incorporeal forms and shadows.  

n Hinc via Tartarei quae fert Acherontis ad undas.  From thence they came unto a ditch  
In which was puddle black as pitch,  
Where sprawling frogs and croaking toads  
Lay enwrapped in spawny loads.  

o 
Terribili squalore Charon, cuiplurima mento  
Canitieses inculta jacet.—   There Charon (much quoted by pitiful  
Poet in funeral Ditty)  
With wrizzeled countenance of hue  
Would make a dog or Devil spew;  
And knitty beard of Carret colour,  
Than rubbing-brush or bosom fouler,  
Or hair 'pon bird-pickt soul of traitor,  
Penned on pole London bridge-gate o'er;  

p Sordidus ex humeris nodo dependet amictus.  Whose clothes hung 'pon him like a fardel  
Most wretchedly trussed up with girdle.  
This Charon (for convenience  
I name him twice to bring in sense)  
Rowed passengers with boat, that looked  
About the sides like tub unhoopt,  
And yet with Scullers or with Oars  

q Et ferrugineâ subvectat corpora cymbâ.  He wafted every day o'er scores:  

r 
Huc omnis turba ad ripas effusa ruebat  
Matres atque viri,—   Both men and women of all ranks  
Waited for passage on the banks.  
Many a brave fellow crossed the ferry  
To laugh and quaff and drink old Sherry.  
Many a stripling o'er did pass  
In company of buxom Lass.  
A good house was on t'other side  
Which made so many there abide.  

s 
quam multùm sylvis autumni frigore primo  
Lapsa cadunt folia.   Have you not seen in Autumn season,  
When Zephyr blows out of all reason,  
The trees shake to and fro and showers  
Of leaves descend in groves and bowers?  
Or have you seen in time of frost  

t quam multae glomerantur aves.—  Wild fowl come from foreign coast,  
Blackbird, Woodcock, Plover, Quale,  
Partridge, Lark, Widgeon, and Teil?  
So many folk (you'll think it strange  
But faith 'tis true) did thither range.  

u 
Stabant orantes primi transmittere cursum  
Navita sed tristis nunc hos nunc accipit illos.   They hooped and hollowed 'bout the shore  
And at poor Charon cursed and swore,  
But he from wafting never swerved,  
And he that came first was first served.  
Some that were moniless and poor  
He drove them with his pole from shore.  

w 
Aeneas miratus enim, metúsque tumultu,  
Dic ait ò virgo, quid tult concursus ad amnem?   Aeneas wondering at the clatter  
Asked, what a Devil was the matter?  
Tell me, quoth he, O mother Sibyl,  
What makes this concourse here of people?  
What a plague ails 'em, are they mad?  
I ne'er saw such a feud i' dad.  

x Olli sic breviter,—  Quoth Sibyl I'll declare in short  
A satisfying reason for't:  

y 
Cocyti stagna alta vides, stygiámque paludem,  
Dii cujus jurare timent, et fallere numen.   Thou seest the deep pool of Cocytus,  
And Styx, whose very sight would fright us,  
By which the Gods do damn and sink  
When ever they are in their drink.  
Those that the Churl away doth scare  
Have got no dust to pay their fare.  
Those that he receives in boat  
Pay him for his pains a groat:  
They had as good even go knock out  
Their brains, who bring no coin in pocket.  
He'll let 'em sit, call names, and scold  
Until their arses are a cold.  
Gallants and Ladies first he'll waft o'er  
Let tatterdemalions come after.  

z 
Constitit Anchisâ satus et vestigia pressit,  
Multa putans, sortém que animo miseratus iniquam.   Aeneas shook his head and dampt  
His breast with fist, whilst foot ground stamped:  
And 'cause he knew in days of yoar  
What 'twas to be in want and poor,  
He seemed to be the more concerned,  
And with mere grief his bowels yern'd.  
He saw there some that pined and fainted  
With whom he had been well acquainted;  
But such misery had o'erthrown 'em,  
He was almost ashamed to own 'em.  

a Leucaspin & Lyciae ductorem classis Orontem.  Leucaspis' stout who had been Bosen  
Of a ship, with Orontes whoreson,  
Who both were blown by sudden squeck  
Of wind into the Sea from deck.  

b Ecce gubernator seize Palinurus agebat.  Aeneas also spied his dear man  
Bold Palinurus, quondam Steerman.  
To whom, quoth he, in midst of rout,  
How fares it with thee trusty trout?  

c 
— Quis te Palinure Deorum  
Eripuit nobis?—   What a crotchet did in noddle take thee,  
Or what a plague was't thou didst forsake me?  

a 
Dic age, namque mihi fallax haud antè repertus  
Hoc uno responso animum delusit Apollo.   In sober sadness prithee give me  
A true account, and I'll believe thee.  
The cunning man Apollo, whom  
We asked concerning future doom,  
Told me thou shouldst come safe and sound  
To Latium and not be drowned.  

b— En haec promissa fides est!  But there is no trust to be given  
To any creature under Heaven.  

c 
Ille autem: nec te Phoebi cortina fefellit  
Dux Anchisiade.   Quoth Palinurus (O thou heir  
Of Anchises to all his gear)  
I must confess ingenuously,  
Apollo to thee told no lie:  
I fell indeed headlong into Sea  
(Where fishes of all sizes do play)  
But'twas as fate would have't, my luck  
To have but one good sousing duck,  
Which made me stare again, but after  
I made a shift to keep 'bove water,  

d 
Namque gubernâclum multâ vi fortè revulsum  
Praecipitans traxi mecum.—   For no wave could me overwhelm  
Whilst I had in my hand my helm;  
Which I plucked with me when in sleep  
I tottered from the pocky ship,  
Making it cut the stream like oar  
Of Galley, or stiff Battledore.  

e 
— Maria aspera juro,  
Non ullum pro me tantum cepisse timorem  
quam tua ne spoliata armis excussa magistro  
Deficeret tantis navis surgentibus undis.   I swear by foaming spurt of wave,  
And as I have a soul to save,  
I thought it was my greatest mischance  
Thou wert in want of my assistance:  
For (though I say't myself) you well know  
I was a very honest fellow.  
Well, so I floated clear and glib  
(You'll think I'm telling now a fib)  
Three Summer days and put to them  
Three nights, by help of wind and stream.  
The fourth day was half passed before  
With much ado I got ashore.  

f Ni gens crudelis,—  When suddenly a crew of ruffains  
(By looks and clothes mere ragamiuffin's)  
Came running and with speech severe  
Asked me what business I had there?  
One gave me with his foot a spurn,  
Another took me at half-turn,  
And gave me by the nose a twitch,  
Which made me lamentably screech:  
Then to make sport they took a Rugg  
And tossed me in it like a Dog:  
I fell to ground often with squelch,  
Which made my very entrails belch.  
When they had used me like a Jackanoddy  
And shaked my breath out of my body,  

g Nunc me fluctus habet.—  The sons of whores, the Devil rot'em  
Whurled me into th' Ocean's bottom.  

h Per genitorem oro.—  O therefore Master let me beg  
With cap in hand, and turn'd-back leg,  
For your good old father's sake  
Upon a servant pity take.  

i Eripe me his invicte malis—  The sum of all that I desire  
Is, that you would lay down here my hire.  
For without money surely Charon  
(And troth I han't a cross) will waft none.  

k 
Coepit cum talia vates:  
Vnde haec tam dira tibi Palinure cupido?   Quoth the old Beldame, marry come up  
Mr. Gentleman, will you have a roap?  
It is in vain cursed fate to cark at,  
But make the best of a bad market.  
To make complaint (for my own part)  
I think thou'dst e'en's good let a fart.  

l Sed cape dicta memor duri solatia casûs.  Have but a little patience  
Thou shalt at length be carried hence,  
Thy mortified Fish-pickt bones  
(That lie among Sea-shels and stones)  
Shall be, thou needest not be afeared,  
With all solemnity interred.  

m His dictis curae emotae.—  With that the rogue grew blithe and glad  
As louse or beggar in fresh pad.  

n Ergo iter inceptum peragunt.—  Aeneas with's Companion  
Joged from that place further on.  
Charon spying 'em approached near  
Wondered what a pox made such there,  
Then making stately step toward 'em  

o Sic prior aggreditur dictis atque increpat ultrò.  Thus accosts (of his own accord) 'em.  
D'ye near you friend you saucy Jack,  
And you old Gammer, what d'ye lack?  
Stand I conjure you, if you stir shall  
A foot farther, be it to your peril.  

p Fare age, quid venias.—  What are you and from whence, speak quickly  
Or (take it as you will) I'll lick ye:  

q Vmbrarum hic locus est, somni noctisque soporae.  This is a place for incorporeal  
Substances (that sleep and snore all)  
Here is no room for scowtish rakel  
That comes with earthly tabernacle.  

r 
Nec verò A'cidem, nec Thesea Perithoúmque  
Accipere lacu me sum laetatus euntem.   Theseus and Pirithous stout  
With Hercules that heavy lout,  
Did me and my boat more damage  
Than I can get again in an age;  

s Tartareum ille manu custodem in uîncla petivit.  The one put 'pon us a shrewd slur,  
And stole away our household Cur;  
The tother two I warn't were good,  
(A couple of pure sticks of wood,)  

t Hi dominam Ditis thalamo deducere adorti.  Who came to have a fellow-feeling  
With Proserpina, bat she wasn't willing.  

u 
Quae contra breviter fata est Amphrysia vates:  
Nullae hîc insidiae tales.—   Quoth munching Beldame, friend of mine,  
We come not of an ill design,  
For my part I am near fourscore  
And can do little harm I'm sure.  

w Nec vim tela ferunt.—  And he (though he wears a sword and belt)  
Yet nothing ere his fury felt.  
Doth he (lord help him) look as though  
He had strength to do so and so  
With Proserpina, or master triple  
Headed Cerb'rus, who doth keep hell?  
No no, this is the long and short  
That made us hither to resort,  

x 
Troius Aeneas pietate insignis & armis  
Ad genitorem imas Erebi descendit ad umbras.   To see if any where among  
The Ghosts and the infernal throng,  
We can by our enquiry gather  
Any news of this fellows father.  

y 
Si te nulla movet tantae pietatis imago,  
At ramum hunc.—   If thou art of a temper evil,  
And art resolved to be uncivil,  
Tarry a little, here's a bough  
In butchet, look, what think you now?  
With that the courage of the fool  
Began to be appeased and cool.  
He for a while upon it gazed  
As if knocked on the head amazed.  
Then to the pool like mad man flew  

z Coeruleam advertit puppim.—  And close to shore with chain boat drew,  
Diving away from banks with pole  
Every inconsiderable soul:  
He took Aeneas by the arm,  
And set him under a tilt warm.  
Then in with much ado they lag  
The old unprofitable Hag.  

a 
Gemuit sub pondere cymba  
Sutilis, & multam accepit rimosa paludem.   The chinky boat was ready break  
With weight, and forthwith sprang a leak.  
At length he landed fleshy load,  
But both up to the knees in mud.  

b 
Cerberus haec ingens latratu Regna trifauci  
Personat.   And now they hear a fearful howl  
With barking whine and murmuring growl  
Of Cerberus, who yelpt at once  
From rattling throat three several tones.  
(No wonder that he still was bawling  
Having thousands of vermin 'bout him crawling)  

c 
Melle soporatam, & medicatis frugibus offam  
Objicit.—   The Sibyl did a wheaten scrap take  
Out of Aeneas victual Snapsack,  
Then tampering among it sloppy  
Opium, and juice of Poppy,  
She stretched it to him with colouge  
Like thief in Fable tempting dog:  

d 
— Ille fame rabidâ tria guttura pandit,  
Et rapit objectam, atque immania terga resolvit  
Fusus humi.—   He snapped it 'fore it fell to ground,  
And swallowed it in got profound,  
Which made him in less than half an hour  
Stretch out in a dead sleep all four.  

e Occupat Aeneas aditum.  Aeneas (you'll think) did not want age  
Nor wit to lay hold of advantage:  
The Porter being lain fast and sure  
He had possession of death's door,  
Which whether he unlocked with key  
Or broke it open I can't well say,  
But I suppose, I won't swear to it,  
He bounced it open by force of foot,  
Because no key (you may go look)  
Is hinted of in Author's book.  

f 
Continuo auditae voces, vagitus & ingens,  
Infantúmque animae flentes.—   No sooner were they got within  
But ears were stun'd with second din.  
The cry of suckled brats a brawling  
In louder scream than caterwauling.  
They saw whole shoals of byblow babes  
That had been made away by drabs,  
Some squeaking out for Mam (hard hap)  
Others for teat, and sloppy pap.  

g Hos juxta falso damnati crimine mortis.  From thence they came into a Region  
Where was a Gaol and in't a Legion  
Of younger brothers, who were glad  
For want of quodlibets to pad  
Which were ashamed to beg, yet feel  
No bite in conscience to steal;  
But 'twas their fortune, though they're highborn  
Sweetly to swing in noose at Tybourne.  

h 
Quaesitor Minos urnam movet ille silentum  
Consiliúmque movet, vitásque & crimina discit.   In these precincts lived Justice of peace  
That never had palm licked with grease,  
(And 'cause our Author doth confine us  
To tell his name) his name was Minos:  
He made a strict examination  
Of every one's life and conversation:  
Some he judged to whipping-post  
And some he sent to foreign coast.  
Some he condemned to bastinado,  
And others to cruel strappado.  
Many from liberty exempt  
Were made for ever to beat hemp.  
And thus he kept in rule and order  
With punishments all that same border.  

i 
Proxima deinde tenent moesti loca qui sibi lethum  
Insontes peperêre manu, lucémque perosi  
Projecêre animas.   The next place that they came unto  
Was the mere Barathrum of woe,  
Where lay a miserable pack  
Of men that died for honour's sake,  
Some that had drowned themselves in River,  
Others thrust Poniard through Liver,  
Because forsooth they could not sip  
Nepenthe from a Mistress lip.  
Some that had been past worldly hope  
And ended all their cares with rope;  
But were become the unhappier  
(Out of the Frying-pan into the fire,)  

k 
Fas obstat. tristíque palus inamabilis undâ  
Alligat.—   For here they're crammed up in a hole  
Which always lies bedunged and foul.  
As for with brooms and mops to cleanse it  
I wonder who in conscience means it,  
Because like privy or a sink  
The more 'tis stirred the more 'twill stink.  

l 
Nec procul hinc partem fusi monstrantur in omnem  
Lugentes campi—  
His quos durus amor crudeli tabe peredit.   From thence they came unto a Field  
Which did many rueful objects yield,  
Such as at Bedlam may be seen  
(If Reader thou hast thither been)  
One was a gazing like a Sceptic  
Another mused like Dialectic;  
Some were a lifting up their eyes  
And catching after moths and flies;  
Others were reading with loud babble  
But understood not a syllable;  
Some were a plucking hair with claws,  
And others lay a picking straws;  
One did nothing else but d'off  
And put his shoe again on hoof.  
Others by active fancy led  
Were at turning arse over head.  
Some were dancing, singing, laughing,  
Ranting, swearing, cursing, quaffing,  
With many such like frantic fits  
Common to those out of their wits.  
To speak in short, there wasn't one there  
But was as mad as a March hare.  

m His Phaedram Procrínque locis maestámque Eriphylen.  There was also a tearing crew  
Of Dames and young wenches true blue:  
Joan, Cicely, Margaret, or Peg,  
And bouncing Rose, as right's my leg.  

n 
— Et juvenis quondam nunc foemina Caeneus,  
Rursus & in veterem fato revoluta figuram.   Next these were double-membered creatures  
Of different and amphibious natures,  
Such as can play the parts of men  
And strait be women, and to'tagen.  

o 
Inter quas Phoenissa recens è vulnere Dido  
Errabat syiva in magna.—   Near by these folks walked lovesick Dido  
Alone within a private Meadow,  
Whom when Aeneas spied through hedge  
His teeth for sorrow stood an edge.  

p 
Dulcíque afflatus amore est  
Infoelix Dido—   Quoth he in soft heart melting phrase  
With tears a trickling down his face,  
Ah Dido, Dido, I am sorry  
And much in grief and anguish for thee,  
For since I went from Carthage town  
(Where thou art well trusted and known,)  

q 
Verus mihi nuncius ergo  
Venerat extinctam—  
Funeris heu tibi causa fui.—   I heard thou hast a month's mind to me  
And that was the thing did undo thee.  
But may I ne'er be worth a shilling  
If I departed not unwilling;  
Necessity forced me withdraw,  
(Which has (as wise men say) no law)  

r Siste gradum, téque aspectu nec subtrahe nostro.  But prithee stay and hear me out  
What now I am to say about;  
I mean no harm t'ye nor abuse  
If you won't tarry you may choose.  

s Illa solo fixos oculos aversa tenebat.  But she with choler from within swollen  
Looked as the Devil looked over Lincoln.  
She did no more his tattling mind,  
Than if he had talked to the wind;  

t 
Tandem corripuit sese atque inimica refugit  
In nemus umbriferum, conjux ubi pristinus illi  
Respondet curis, aequátque Sichaeus amorem.   At length to avoid his senseless tongue  
Into a neighbouring wood she flung,  
Hooping and hollowing for Sichaeus  
Her husband, to drive off Aeneas.  

u Prosequitur longè lachrymen.—  He followed after close to breech  
Like hot grained dog pursuing bitch.  
But though he did in passion burn  
She was not at that time for's turn.  
Therefore he seeing 'twas in vain  
Turned, as he came forth back again.  

w 
— Jámque arva tenebant  
Vltima quae bello clari secreta frequentant.   From thence they trudged into a green  
Where were a troop of Soldiers seen,  
Men that had been bred up in wars  
And well skilled in Martial affairs,  
That make no more to kill a man,  
Than I do to take off a Can,  
Fellows of an undoubted courage,  
The like can scarce be found in our age.  

x 
Hîc illi occurrit Tydeus, hîc inclytus armis  
Parthanopaeus &—   There was Orson and Valentine  
The valiant sons of King Pepin.  
There were the seven Champions all,  
Bevis and Amadis de Gaul,  
Sir Eglamore, and Guy that slew  
The dreadful Giant and Dun Cow.  
With Robin-hood and Little John  
And many others of renown.  

y 
Nec videre semel satis est, juvat usque morari  
Et conferre gradum & veniendi discere causas.   Aeneas questioned 'bout their fights,  
Their hard adventures and exploits,  
And what deeds they did undertake  
For honours and for Lady's sake.  

z Et Danaum Proceres Agamemnoniaeque Phalanges  There was a troop of Grecian Dons,  
Achilles, and his Myrmidons,  
Ajax that was in battle haughty,  
And Ulysses in counsel crafty,  
With the Commanders all in chief  
Who were these I shall name in brief:  
Agamemnon, Diemedes,  
And he, by Paris horned whose head was.  

a 
Vt vidêre virum—  
Ingenti trepidare metu pars vertere terga.   Assoon's they saw Aeneas coming  
They took their heels and fell a running  
Like chaff (as they say) before the wind,  
Or ship with Don-quixot behind.  

b 
Atque hìc Priamiden laniatum corpore toto  
Deiphobum vidit, lacerum crudeliter ora,  
Ora, manus ambas, populatáque tempora raptis  
Auribus—   There was one 'mong the hindermost  
That by a shot both legs had lost,  
But for supply two wooden ones  
Were put to succour crippled bones.  
His nose was off by doubtful hap  
Whether by dint of sword, or clap,  
The same uncertainly appears  
In the sad loss of both his ears,  
For generally they subject are  
To Pillory as well's to War.  
Aeneas in time long passed knew  
This shakebag as well as I know you.  

c 
Vix adeò agnovit pavitantem, & dira tegentem  
Supplicia.—   But now was at a stand (although  
He looked close) whether 'twas he or no.  
The fellow in this wretched case  
Was quite ashamed to show his face:  

d 
Deiphobe armipotens—  
Quis tam crudeles optavit sumere poenas?   Then quoth Aeneas, O Deiphob  
(So was his name) with witty dry bob)  
What mak'st thou look so like a tench?  
Come come, I fear thou lov'st a wench.  
The bridge is down, then (by your leave)  
I may with ease the cause perceive.  
I know thou wert a Soldier, but  
Venus in Mars his arms is shut,  
And so by consequence it sounds  
From Mars and Venus came these wounds.  

e Tunc egomet tumulum Rhoeteo littore inanem  I found thy body rend and tore  
By Rooks and Crows, on Rhoetus shore,  
And buried it in Churchyard bustum  
Calling out thrice as 'twas the Custom.  

f 
Constitui, & magnâ manes ter voce vocavi.  
— Nihi tibi amice relictum.   Quoth Deiphob, friend thou hast done me  
As much as could be expected from thee;  
You may imagine what you please  
That I have had an ill disease;  
I must confess, I have had play  
With women, and who has not I pray?  

g 
Scelus exitiale Lacenae  
His mersere malis—   But I had throughly sound and well been  
Had it not been for pocky Helen,  

h 
Namqueu supremam falsa inter gaudia noctem  
Egerimus nosti nimium, & meminisse necesse est,  
Illa chorum simulans evantes Orgia circum  
Duceba Phrygias—  
Tum me confectum cúris somnoque gravatum  
Infaelix habuit thalamus.   For that same night, (and we have reason  
To remember matters of treason)  
Wherein the Grecians without force  
Entered the town with wooden Horse,  
She danced about with mirth and glee  
In jovial mood, and who but she?  
She and her Comrades drank such swigs  
They were all of them as drunk as pigs,  
When on a sudden horse and foot  
Fell upon us before we knew't,  
I was at that time in my warm  
Bed, a dreaming of no harm,  
Sleeping without all fear and care, no  
Coach could wake me or wheel-barrow.  
I had (thinking all safe at home)  
No sword or pistol in the room:  

i 
Intra tecta vocat Menelaum & limina pandit:  
Irrumpunt thalamo.—   When this same base perfidious quean  
(You know by foregoing speech who I mean)  
Led in manly sort a File  
Of Musqueteroes at her tail,  
Who with bold resolution bore up  
And rudely broke my Chamber door open,  
Then rushing on me fierce and passant  
Slic'e my nose off left what was on't,  
And to spite my beloved wife  
Cut my stones out with a Bread-knife,  
Plucking me limb-meal besides  

k 
Dii talia Graiis  
Instaurate, pio si poenas ore reposco.   (A plague consume for it their hides)  
I wish they may de damned as black  
As Buttermilk, or Oven-cake.  

l Sed te qui vivum casus age fáre vicissim.  But what wind blew thee hither prithee  
For I am much surprised to see thee?  

m 
An quae te fortuna fatígat?  
Vt tristes sine sole domos loca turbida adires.   Wert thou by witchcraft driven hither  
Or by unluckiness of weather?  
Was it a frolic moved thee (speak)  
To come to the Devil's Arse a peake?  

n 
Hac vice sermonum roseis Aurora quadrigis  
Jam medium aetherio cursum trajecerat axe.   The day was now above half run  
About three a clock i'th' afternoon,  
The time that Plowmen hast from fields  
To see what beaver Cupboard yields.  

o 
Sed comes admonuit, brevitérque affata Sibylla est:  
Nox ruit Aenaea.—   The Sibyl then put in a rub,  
What d'ye tell us a tale of a tub?  
'Tis high time to be gone, quoth she,  
We have other fish to fry.  
Then turning to Aeneas, marry,  
Quoth she, how long d'ye mean to tarry?  
It draws towards night, if you stay  
How shall we see to find our way?  

p Hîc locus est partes ubi sevia findit in ambas.  Here is a place where four roads meet  
In form like Cross of Jesuit,  

q 
Dextera quae Ditis magni sub moenia tendit:  
Hàc iter Elysium nobis—  
— at loeva malorum  
Exercet poenas.—   The right hand to fools Paradise,  
The left to Purgatory lies.  

r Ne saevi magna sacerdos.  Quoth Deiphob I pray, good mother,  
What makes you chat and keep a pother?  
But seeing she no leave would give,  
He doffed his Hat and took his leave.  
Aeneas as he looked a-thurt  
Saw ancient Castle near a Fort,  
With three walls, besides moat and ditch  
Stronger than Dunkirk or Mastrich.  
'Twas built of neither stone nor flint,  
Neither was brick or timber in't,  
But all of subtle air, watch well  
Compacted was by charm and spell:  
Such fabrics as St. George for glory  
Invaded (as you read in story)  

s 
Vis ut nulla virùm, non ipsi exscindere ferro  
Coelicolae valeant.—   But of this if he had made proof,  
He would have found it much more tough.  
David nor Andrew, nor the rest all,  
Neither the Knight of burning Pestal,  
Had not been with joint forces able  
To make it not impregnable.  
Granades, Bullets, Blunderbusses  
Would do no more than hostile curses.  
Instead of Giant or Dragon fell  
To keep at entrance Sentinel,  

t 
Tisiphoneque sedens pallâ succincta cruentâ  
Vestibulum insomnis servat.—   Tisiphone (whom Poets use  
To call upon instead of Muse,  
When any have a mind to purge  
The vices of the age with scourge)  
Stood in a mantle clad as black  
As that on witch of Endors back,  
And night and day did watching keep  
Without so much as a dog's sleep.  

u Hinc exaudiri gemitus—  They listened and heard from within  
Strange noises like a Newgate din,  
Clinking of shackles tied to shanks  
Of Malefactors, and whip-clanks,  
Which were imagined to be smarter  
Than those of Coachman or fierce Carter.  
Those exercised on bums and breeches  
Made 'em break out in cries and screeches,  
Louder by far than Schoolboy howls  
In Eton, Westminster, or powl's.  

w Constitit Aeneas strepitúmque exterritus hausit.  Aeneas at this fearful clutter  
Began with weather-end to make butter:  

x 
Quae scelerum facies, o virgo, effare; quibúsve  
Vrgentur poenis, quis tantus plangor ad auras?   Mother, quoth he, since I was first born  
I never heard the like combustion,  
What is't a Bridewell or a Gaol,  
Tell me what means there such a coil?  

y 
Tunc vates sic orsa loqui: Dux inclyte Teucrûm,  
Nulli fas casto sceleratum insistere limen.   Quoth she (O thou that bearest command  
O'er Trojans all by Sea and Land)  
This Castle will not opened be  
Thou needest not fear for I or thee,  
For 'tis for such as play the rogue  
And without conscience cheat and cog:  
But for our parts it is well known  
We are no bodies foes but our own.  

z Gnossius haec Radamanthus habet saevissima regna.  Within this building doth inhabit  
A Sorcerer in visage crabbed,  
As sage as Zabarel, and as subtle  
As Don Scotus, or Aristotle,  
One, in a word, wiser by half  
Than Balaams' Ass, or Walkams' Calf.  
He for his most judicious learning  
Has prerogative concerning  
All Caitiffs that do kill or steal  
And do mischief to the Common weal:  
'Gainst whom he is no less severe  
Than Country Constable or Mayor,  
Though rogues, as now their common use is,  
Make cunning shifts and neat excuses,  

a Castigátque audítque dolos subigítque fateri.  Yet he can evince quirks and slaws  
And know the blind side of a cause.  
He'll draw confession from each soul  
Either by fair means or by foul.  
Some are burnt in the hand, and some  
Like Soldiers vile the Gauntlet run.  
Others in little ease are put  
And others fastened head to foot.  
But more than can be numbered saving  
For villainy in hempen string.  

b 
— Tum Tartarus ipse  
Bis patet in praeceps tantum, tenditque sub umbras.   To tell you of dungeon without bottom  
In troth I almost had forgotten.  

c Hic genus an iquum terrae Titania pubes.  The Grants that of old waged war  
With Pikes and Gans 'gainst Juppiter  
(As 'tis in Ovid's book, which thus  
Begins, In nova fert animus)  
Are here one 'pon the tother rolled  
To teach 'em to be proud and bold.  
There lie the sons of Gath, and brood  
Of those that lived before the Flood.  

d 
Vidi & crudeles dantem Salmonea poends,  
Dum flammas Jovis, & sonitus imitatur olympi.   Here is the man to all folks wonder  
That imitated noise of thunder,  
Salmoneus named; but for my part  
I rather think Gilbertus Twart,  
Who is reported long agone  
To be the inventor of a Gun,  
For this Salmoneus was but maker  
(As I have read) of Squib and Cracker,  
For which (according to relation)  
He got much fame and reputation:  
You may see in Records of Greece  
The circumstances if you please,  
Some here are like dead Horses flayed  
And gi'n to dogs (as you may read)  

e 
Nec non & Tityon terrae omniparentis alumnum  
Cernere erat, rostroque immanis vultur adunco  
Immortal jecur tundens—  
Quid memorem Lapithas, Ixiona—  
Quos super atra silex jamjam lapsura.—   Vultures and Kites devour as many  
As they did of old at Cannae.  
Others be whurled upon a wheel,  
Or crushed 'twixt hoppers of a Mill,  
Till bones and very guts are torn  
And ground to particles like corn.  
Some have their brains dashed out with stones,  
With iron bars and tough batoons.  

f 
Lucent genialibus altis  
Aurea fulcra toris, epulaeque ante ora paratae.   Another trick there is devised  
How wretches may be tantalised,  
Which by weighing its intent  
Is none o'th' slightest punishment;  
A Table spread with Beef and Mutton  
As delicate as can be put on,  
With figgy puddings piping hot  
Newly taken out of pot,  
With Veal, and Bacon, and green Pease,  
Besides Pies, Tarts, Plum-cakes and Cheese,  
Then down the hungry guests are placed  
Only to see, not touch nor taste;  
If one but snatches up a scrap  
His fingers have for it a rap.  
Down must again be put the victual  
Let it be ne'er so vile and little;  
Woe be to him that puts his claws  
In dish to slop up sugared sauce,  

g 
— Furiarum maxima juxta  
Accubat, & manibus prohibet contingere mensas.   Allecto for so small a cause  
Gives him a lick across the jaws.  

h 
Hîc quibus invisi fratres—  
Pulsatúsve parens.—   The company doth most consist  
Of such as live i'th' world as they list,  
Who value not a rush their Parents,  
Brothers, Sisters, Uncles, or Aunts;  
And care not if the Kingdom sink  
So they might have but meat and drink.  

i 
Quíque arma secuti  
Impia.—   Such also as out of Zeal fell on  
Their King and Country in Rebellion,  
And for a liberty of Conscience  
Breed schisms by loud noise and nonsense,  
(And Hypocrites (as old wives tell)  
Shall have the hottest place in Hell)  

k 
Phlegyas—  
Discite justitiam moniti & non temnere Divos.   Here Phlegyas that was a bad stick  
Of heresy, and a fanatic,  
Cries, O friends of self-toleration  
Let my hap be to you a caution;  
By Orthodox Laws be advised,  
The gods ought not to be despised.  
Who could expect (without offence)  
That fiends could speak reason and sense?  

l Vendidit hic aúro patriàm, dominúmque potentem.  Here are your Jockyes that came forth  
From territories of the North,  
Who stuck not to exchange for pelf  
Their Country and their Prince himself.  

m— Leges fixit pretio arque refixit.  Here are men that set out torutim  
Statutes, but ne'er would execute 'em,  
Who handle would the purse-strings first  
And then conclude which cause was just.  
Besides these also there are millions  
Of other sundry humoured villains,  
Pimps, Catchpoles, Hectors, Bully rocks  
Valley de Chambers (with a pox,)  
With vagabond unwholesome Varlets  
That deal with Alehouse trulls, and Harlots▪  

n 
Non mihi si linguae centum sint, oráque centum,  
Ferrea vox.—   If I had as many tongues and mouths  
As I have teeth, fingers, and toes;  
If I had voice sounding louder  
Than Christchurch Tom, or Westminster.  
I could assoon kiss my own arse  
As to run through all (by the mass)  
Therefore because I would not fiddle  
Give me leave to break off i'th' middle.  
Having thus concluded fair speech  
She gave a clawing scratch to bare breech;  
As if a louse or twitching flea  
Did 'bout her nut-brown buttocks play.  
Come come, quoth she (plucking his sleeve)  

o 
Acceleremus ait, cyclopum educta caminis  
Moenia conspicio.—   Let's hasten and these quarters leave,  
For not far off I spy a Smiths-forge  
That doth from Chimney sparkles discharge,  
'Tis but a weigh bit before we begin  
To get out of the Devils gi'en.  

p 
Dixerat, & pariter gressi per opaca viarum  
Corripiunt spatium medium.—   With that she tore away with stride  
More than the ordinary yard wide,  
I mean with crutches, for they straddle  
Whilst sustained body between waddle;  
And he also shuffled as much  
And kept in full pace with her touch.  
At length they came unto a stile  
And there they rested for a while.  

q 
Corpúsque recenti  
Spargit aquâ.—   Aeneas stripped off all his clothes  
Unto his very shoes and hose,  
And washed his sleaky skin throughout  
In pool, and rubbed it with a clout:  
Then putting on his clothes again  
He bid to coasts of night good even,  
For now they came to sight of skies  
Which made 'em twinkle with their eyes,  
As usual 'tis (if you but mark)  
To those that have been in the dark.  

r Devenêre locos lactos, & amoena vireta.  There was a meadow green and gay  
As any is in midst of May,  
The Sun flamed 'pon it like a torch  
Yet it did not their faces scorch:  
A crew here got together bend  
To jollity and merriment:  

s Pars in gramineis exercent membra palaestris.  The jovial lads were in ring jostling,  
To make room for appointed wrestling,  
Shouting as at a Wake or Feast,  
Heigh for the North and heigh for the West.  
Some at Skittels their time past,  
Others at rub and a good cast.  
From Arbours all about the Close  
Was music heard like twang of nose,  
From windpipes that in form and figure  
Resemble Glisters, though much bigger.  
Hundreds a sitting on stools and benches  
Slobbered and toused the Country wenches;  
Some had a special love for pretty  
Abigail, and some for Betty;  
Whilst wags and arch anointed cracks  
Troled ballads full of pleasant knacks.  
So every one performed his part,  
Or told a tale, or let a fart.  
In another part of spacious green  

t Pars pedibus plaudunt choreas.—  A sort of Revelers were seen  
In holland Drawers, laced Crevats,  
Hair tied with ribbons, but no Hats,  
Who wearing on their feet light pumps  
Traced along the path with ambling jumps:  
One bore a kind of little Drum  
And fumpt it with finger and thumb,  
Which made the bells that round it were  
Sound like those at forehorses ear;  
Ask what they were, the vulgar answers,  
They were (as they call 'em) Morris-dancers.  
In places distant and remote  
From scoundrel or inferior sot  

u Hic genus antiquum Teucri pulcherrima proles.  Were many a gallant spark, and Lady  
As any in Hide park o' May day:  
Some Capapee a horseback rid  
Like French Mounsieur or Spanish Cid,  
With Lances held in warkike fists  
As just preparing for the lists.  
Others in Coaches rid at ease  
Sleeping, or picking lapdogs fleas.  
There was also in other places  
Hunting, Hawking, and Horse-races,  
With many other such like kind  
Of sports, as people were inclined.  

w 
Conspicit ecce alios dextrâ laeuáque per herbam  
Vescentes, laetúmque choro Paeana canentes.   Close by a purling Rivers side  
Where streams did with a torrent glide,  
Sat sage Philosophers discoursing  
And knotty Syllogisms scorcing  
With Wits of th'age and men of parts  
Masters of Sciences and Arts,  
And Poets (not whose bloodless vein  
Can produce nothing besides rhyme,  
For look in Iter Boreale  
You'll find much rhyme, but sense will fail ye;  
Or have you heard of Poetaster  
That set a Poem out but last year,  
That treated of the Kings returning  
And of the City's plague and burning?  
He nurtured was (the more's the pity)  
In the Oxford Universitty,  
Read but that Poem, and in it  
You'll find much fancy, little wit.)  
I know of more such, but 'tis best  
To go back from whence we digressed.  
The Sibyl got among this gang  
And to 'em made a large harangue.  
Musaeus' taller was by th' head  
Than all the rest with tiptoe tread,  
Standing i'th' midst like a Colosse  
Or 'mong footmen man 'pon a Horse;  

x 
Quos circumfusos sic est affata Sibylla,  
Musaeum aute omnes.—   Whom she with eye chiefly respected,  
And to him most her speech directed:  

y 
Dicite foelices animae, Túque optime vates  
Quae regio Anchisem, quis habet locus?—   O happy Sirs, friends to the Muses,  
I pray speak where Anchises house is?  
We are but strangers to this coast  
And know the way no more than a post.  
Quoth he in civil manner (Mistress)  
Truly here are no Edifices,  

z Nulli certa domus, lucis habitamus apertis.  No certain habitation  
Have we that we can call our own.  
We live where we can get (god bless us!)  
In mazes, woods, and wildernesses.  
But hold let me consider, stay  
By th' cast o'th' Country that's your way  

a Hoc superate jugum.—  Over that hill, some two miles off,  
Look just directly 'gainst my staff.  
But come seeing you strangers are,  
I'll bring you on the way so far.  

b Dixit, & ante tulit gressum.—  Then on he led the way until  
They came on t'other side o'th' hill:  
In Valley at the foot of it,  

c 
At Pater Anchises penitus convalle virenti  
Inclusas animas superúmque ad lumen ituras  
Lustrabat studio recolens, omnémque suorum  
Fortè recensebat numerum.—   Anchises did on Mole-bank sit,  
Musing in melancholy sort  
With hands to ears, and all a mort,  
In study deep and meditation,  
Casting upon his generation,  
Their fortunes, livings, and estates,  
And circumstances of the Fates.  

d Isque ubi tendentem adversum per gramina vidit.  But when he saw his Son Aeneas  
Coming towards him through the grass,  
He roused himself from thoughts and dumps  
And up like one of twenty, jumps,  
Stretching both arms out for his boy,  
And wept out like a child for joy.  
His passion did so crowd his throat  
A while he could not speak a note.  
At length recovering his speech  
By tweak of nose and scratch of breech,  

e 
Venisti tandem—  
— Datur oratueri  
Gnate tua, & notas audire & reddere voces?   Quoth he, welcome my lad of gold,  
Do I thy countenance behold?  
I'm in a maze, art thou the same  
I talk to, or am I in a dream?  
Not half an hour ago at end  

f Sic equidem ducebam animo rebárque futurum.  I had discourses with a friend,  
Wherein you were the chief concerns;  
Talk of the Devil and see his horns.  

g 
Quos ego te terras & quanta per aequora vectum  
Accipio, quantis jactatum, guate, perîclis.   When of thy dangers I did hear  
It cost me many a sigh and tear,  
For fear thou shouldst in passing through  
So many difficulties know sorrow.  
He having made conclusion, his Son  
Began with mannerly submission.  
Had I come of my own head, you'll,  
Quoth he, (dear Father) call me fool,  

h 
autem, Tua me genitor tua tristis imago  
Saepius oc arrens haec limina tendere adegit.   Were't not for your continual haunting,  
My presence now had here been wanting.  
But seeing my time's but short, Father,  

i 
Da jungere dextram  
da, genitor, téque amplexu ne subtrahe nostro.   Come let's for shame shake hands together,  
'Tis fit Father and Son should hug:  
Puh, quoth Anchises, Cousin pug.  
Then tears began to trickle out  
As fast as water from a spout.  
Have you not read of Aesop's dog,  
That instead of substantial prog  
With greedy snarie at shadow snapped  
Whilst real flesh in water dapt?  
Or rather as Ixion wooed  
With wanton grasps an empty cloud:  

k 
Ter conatus ibi collo dare brachia circum,  
Ter frustra comprensa manus effugit imago.   Aeneas just in such a sort  
Did incorporeal Father court,  
But Ghost was in compliance shy,  
And like a coy wench put him by.  
Have you not (in Glamorgan-shire)  
From mountain high up in the air,  
Looked down upon the Country under  
And seen blind houses lie asunder,  
Houses of turf and thatched, wherein  
People do live that card and spin?  

l 
Hunc circum innumerae gentes, populique volabant.  
Ac veluti inpratis, ubi apes aestate serenâ  
Floribus insidunt, strepit omnis murmure campus.   Aeneas such a Valley spied  
From ascent where he did abide.  
And (once again) have you not seen  
In any place where you have been,  
In Summer-season swarms of bees,  
Or Chafers roaming 'bout the trees,  
Or Grasshoppers, or eager Ants  
A tugging to relive their wants?  
So many folks he did descry,  
And if you will believe't you may.  
And as 'tis the nature of those,  
So these did also hum and buzz.  
Or rather like as you may hear  
In Market or tumultuous Fair.  

m 
Horrescit visu subito causásque requirit  
Inscius Aeneas.—   Aeneas was at first amazed  
And like one knocked in the head gazed.  
Quoth he, what means that yonder feud?  
So much disorder can't be good.  

n 
Lethaei ad fluminis undam  
Securos latices, & jonga oblivia potant.   Quoth Anchises, these drink a liquor  
Called Lethe, which is by much quicker  
Than March beer, bottle-ale, or mead,  
And sooner flies up to the head:  
They drink this so long till the Elves  
Grow sottish and forget themselves,  
And here they madly drink whole ones  
Till they put on new flesh and bones.  
I could tell many pleasant stories  
Relating to these drunken Tories,  

o Jampridem hancprolem cupio enumerare meorum.  But I must tell of noble Heroes  
That shall be to the world mere scare-crows,  
Who though we look like fools shall be  
Dashed from the loins of I and thee.  
But hold, quoth Aeneas, pray hold,  
Father (if I may be so bold)  
Let me (before you proceed on)  
Propose to you one question:  

p 
O pater anne aliquas ad coelum hinc ire putandum  
Sublimes animas, iterúmque ad tarda reverti  
Corpora.—   Why should the staring Jacanoddies  
Desire to resume new bodies?  
Quoth Anchises, I'll tell thee all  
By notions Philosophical,  
As orderly as Problem is  
When Ergo follows premises.  

q 
Principio, coeium & terras campósque liquentes  
Lucentémque globum lunae Titaniáque astra  
Spiritus intus alit.—   The Sun and Moon, Stars, Earth and Ocean  
Internal Spirits have, and motion,  
And (as the Stoics have defined)  
There rules in them a certain mind,  
Which does material part control,  
As body managed is by Soul;  

r Ind hominum pecudúmque genus.—  These second causes are, whence spring  
Existency to every thing,  
To all sorts of beasts, fish, and fowl  
(Let it be Badger, Dace or Owl)  
There's not an individual being,  
But from these Elements you see spring,  
(For nothing Nature can create  
Without earth, water, air, and heat;)  
These four, as it were, being tried,  
And in a Limbick rarified,  

s 
Igneus est illis vigour & coelestis origo  
Seminibus.—   Turns into life, which leaps and mounts  
Like quicksilver upon the joints,  
And as 'tis variously composed,  
So variously it is disposed,  

t Hinc metuunt cupiúntque, dolent gaudéntque.—  For now in appetite 'tis boiled,  
Another time in grief turmoiled,  
To day it sneaks and shrinks for fear  
With jealousy, doubt, and despair,  
To morrow fits of joy come in  
Making it ready leap from skin.  

u 
Quin & supremo cum lumine vita reliquit,  
Non tamen omne malum miseris, nec funditus omnes  
Corporeae excedunt pests.—   Now when this life forsakes the lump  
Of body by deaths utmost thump,  
It's tossed and tumbled in the air  
Like smoke or feather here and there,  
It has no clothes, no not a smock  
So much to keep it from a shock:  
Sometimes it feels the heavy rap  
Of hailstones or a thunderclap:  
In Sunbeams fried, in frost benumbed,  
By showers half-drowned, and by storms thrumbed:  
Thus being naked becomes more  
Weatherbeaten than before.  
But like a ship that has been banded  
By waves and winds at length is landed,  
So after difficulties have been  
It shall arrive to quiet haven:  
Then when time's snake is wreathed about  
This life is cleansed and purged throughout,  
From filthy thoughts with which 'twas tainted  
When with the lower air acquainted:  

w 
Exinde per amplum  
Mittimur Elysium.—   'Tis put into a modish dress  
Pestered with weather, louse or fleas.  

x 
Dixerat Anchises: gnatúmque unáque Sibyllam  
Conventus trahit in medios turbámque sonantem,  
Et tumulum capit.—   Anchises had his fair speech ended,  
Which nothing to the purpose tended.  
Then down the way he led along  
Towards the giddy-headed throng:  
Himself, the Sibyl and his Son  
Got up upon a tomb of stone,  
Because they thought it not so good  
To be at flats with multitude:  
Besides if there had been no less thing  
'Twas cause enough to avoid pressing.  
Now quoth Anchises fix your eyes  
And mark what Spirits shall arise,  
I'll show you plainly to your face  
The Chavalieroes of our race;  
Who shall in Italy bear sway,  
And from the rest bear bell away;  

y 
Ille vides purâ juvenis qui nititur hastâ  
Proxima sorte tenet lucis loca.—   He there that wears his Hat a cocked  
With Javelin in his clutches locked,  
Shall first drop from the womb of night  
Into the Regions of light,  

z 
Quem tibi longaevo ferum Lavinia conjux  
Educet sylvis.—   Whom thou shalt get upon thy wife  
At the latter end of life,  
So that people of the town  
Shall say the child is not thy own:  
One that shall be as stout I'll warrant  
As any Knight that ere rid errand.  
The next is Procas of high worth,  
With Capys, Numitor and so forth.  
But look what yonder fellows are  

a Qui juvenes quantas ostentant aspice vires.  See how they swagger, huff and swear,  
As if they would drink dry a fountain  
And swallow at one bit a mountain:  
These shall convert wild heaths and downs  
Into Mart and Burrough-towns.  
Nomentum, Fidenae, and Bola,  
Pomety, Gabii and Cora,  
In every one of which a Mayor  
Shall the sword of Justice bear,  
With reverend Aldermen assistants  
To Carbonadoe rogues, and miscreants.  

b 
Quin & avo comitem seize Mavortius adds  
Romulus.—   Next Romulus, the Bully Rock,  
Comes strutting like a Turkeycock;  
Fame and report in time to come  
Shall sound as loud as trump and drum,  
And glory with a golden stamp  
Shall coin his name as bright as lamp:  
Have you not seen town full of people  
Wherein stands a Cathedral steeple,  
Which for its bulk and antiquity  
Is termed by Geopraphers a City?  

c 
En hujus, Gnate, auspiciis illa inclyta Roma  
Imperium terris, animos aequabit olympo,  
Septémque una sibi muro circundabit arces  
Foelix prole virum.—   Such a Town Romulus shall found  
And call it Rome for stately sound,  
With walls and seven Towers lofty  
To keep it in defence and safety.  
Housekeepers dwelling in this place  
Shall be very well to pass  
By the advantages of trade  
And traffic which shall seldom fade:  
From Bankers, Scriveners and Drapers  
To old shoes, boots, and kennel-scrapers,  
Scarce one but shall have in his purse  
Enough to buy a score of us.  

d 
Huc geminas nunc flecte acies—  
Romanosque tuos, hîc Caesar & omnis juli  
Progenies.—   But bend both eyes hitherward, son,  
Here are the men when all is done,  
These are Romans against weather,  
As true as ever trod shoe-leather,  
Fierce Julius, surnamed Caesar,  
Who domineer shall at his pleasure,  
With a mighty, high renowned Augustus,  
That shall be at the least a Justice.  

e 
Super & Garamantas & Indos  
Proferet imperium.—   He shall have jurisdiction o'er  
Turk, Tartar, Scythian, Jew and Moor,  
Extending out his power and sway  
Farther than Horse can reach a day:  
Governors of Forts and Castles  
Shall yield their rights up and be Vassals  
In future expeditions, cries he,  
Io, veni, vidi, vici:  

f 
Nec vero Alcides tantum telluris obivit  
Fixerit aeripidem cervam licét.—   He shall march to remoter coasts  
Than where Alcides set up posts;  
Alcides 'tis known well enough  
Slew monstrous Stag with brazen hoof  
And by the force of Cudgel basted  
Wild Boar that Woods and Forests wasted.  

g 
Nec qui pampineis victor juga flectit habenis  
Liber agens celso Nysae de vertice tigers.   Bacchus indeed in wrath and quarrel  
Bestrid triumphant butt and barrel  
Drawn by a team of tugging Swine  
Who raged with dreadful grunt and whine:  
But what of that? Augustus shall come  
To have the Government of all Rome.  
Therefore O son, why art thou fearful,  
Bestir thy stumps and go on cheerful,  
Words are but wind, nothing but action  
Can give a wise man satisfaction.  

i Quis procul ille autem ramis insignis olivae.  But stay, what whipster gay and trim  
With black Moustaches on his chin  
Moves on with slow and gentle pace?  
Methinks (troth) I should know his face;  
Gramercy (now I recollect)  
'Tis Tullus sage and circumspect,  
He shall be the man of the age,  
And guide times in right equipage,  
Reforming illegitimate Brutes  
By power of wholesome Laws and Statutes,  

k 
— Quem juxta sequitur jactantior Anchus  
Nunc quoque jam nimium gaudens popularibus armis.   Next Anchus height that swells as big  
As Aesop's toad or roasted pig,  
One who ('tis pity) even now is  
Conceited boaster of his prowess.  

l 
Vis & Tarquinios' Reges, animámque superbam  
Vltoris Bruti?—   Yonder comes supercilious Tarquin,  
(He's worth your observation, mark him)  
Next Brutus with dire threat and frown  
Follows like snarling Cur at clown,  
This Brutus shall for freedom barter  
And stand up stiff for City Charter.  
He'll not admit or hear of thing  
That sounds like Emperor or King,  
He'll be a jot no more at odds  
With Devils, than with earthly gods.  
The man will therefore quite cashier 'em  
And out by root and branches tear 'em,  

m 
Consulis hic primum imperium, saeuásque secures  
accipiet.—   So that by dealing with them fiercely  
He'll tumble all things arsy versy:  
As when the head submits to tail,  
And State dwindles to Common-weal,  
When Crown is dost in humble rate  
To a Plebeian new-fumpt Hat,  
When crafty roundheads booty share  
Ravished from honest Cavalier,  
And those that were subjects before  
Usurp authority and power,  
When dame Religion and Zeal  
From crimes to Justice do appeal,  
And good deeds are but flams and flaws  
If not in defence of the cause;  
So Brutus Tarquin did out-hector  
That he himself might be Protector.  
His two sons from the very strummel  
Shall be as loyal as Dick Cromwell,  
And oft at the barrels head and board  
Shall drink healths to their father's Landlord.  
At length they'll make an insurrection,  

n 
Gnatósque pater nova bella moventes  
Ad poenam pulchra pro libertate vocabit.   But father brings 'em to correction.  
First he'll have the wretches stripped  
And by the common hangman whipped,  
With Cat a nine tails, until blood  
Shall run down sides in purple flood,  
And then they shall be packing sent  
To be on scurvy gibbet penned,  
Thus they shall be used worse than dogs,  
Hanged, drawn and cut abroad like hogs,  
And quarters shall be stuck 'pon hooks  
To be devoured by pies and rooks.  

o Quin Decios Drusosque procul.—  Next come the Decii sworn brothers  
By one father but several mothers.  

p— Et referentem signa Camillum.  Camillus also, in fleet who  
Shall be the Admiral of the Blue,  
With the ill natured grim Torquatus  
Who looks as if he had a mind to ' ate us.  

q 
Ille autem paribus quas fulgere cernis in armis  
Concords animae nunc, & dum nocte premuntur,  
Heu! quantum inter se bellum si lumina vitae  
Attigerin●?—   Yonder come two who now in love  
You may perceive are hand and glove,  
But their society together  
Seems too great to last for ever.  
At length they'll alter in a word  
From all honey into all t—  
Though in civility 'tis fit  

r Ne Pueri ne tanta animis assuescite bella.  The elder should have the more wit,  
And t'other should have so much grace  
To know his quality and place.  

s Eruet ille Argos Agamemnoniásque Mycenae.  The one shall do more harm in Greece  
Than he that stole the Golden-fleece  
He'll bring large bowties and rich Cargoes  
From Corinth, Mycenae, and Argos:  
Much plate from thence in Carts and Wagons,  
Tankards, Basins, Bowls, and Flagons,  
To Rome in triumph shall be led in  
(Nay) even their very bed and bedding.  

t Quis te magne Cato tacitum, te Cosse relinquat?  Yonder appear Cato and Cossus  
Who look graver than brewer's horses,  
With Gracchus and bold Scipio,  
That will to fight sooner go  
Than others to their meat and drink  
(The Devil's in 'em troth I think.)  
Next comes Fabricius who shall know well  
Mysteries of State and Plow-tail,  
A Husbandman by his profession,  
And yet a plaguy Politician.  

u— Vel te sulco Serrane serentem?  With Serranus, that to a nail  
Shall not come short of Machivail,  
And yet he'll be bred but a Yeoman  
Though afterwards in power some man.  

w Excudent alii spirantia mollius aera—  Let some know how to shapen metal  
Into porridge-pot and kettal,  
And others may have special skill  
In sawing deal-board in a Mill.  
And some have found out arts and ways  
To form hard iron how they please,  
Make grates for Seacole, Andirons, Jacks,  
With forty other household knacks,  
Such as Shovel, Tongues and Fork,  
And hook to fetch out bottle-cork.  

x Vivos ducent de marmore vultus.  Others may cut out in a stone  
The statue of Hero and Don,  
And of the same stone make the shape  
Of Lion, Mongrel, Horse or Ape.  
Some in the Mathematics may  
Have a thousand things to say,  
Tell of what figure Rhombus is,  
Cylindrus, Prisma, Pyramid,  
Know how the Chapter agrees  
With the Conus, Basis, and the Freeze.  

y 
— Coelique meatus  
Describent radio, & surgentia sidera.—   Who by plodding devices can hit  
The height of such and such a planet,  
And in a narrow shindle take  
The compass of the Zodiac.  

z 
Tu regere imperio populos Roman memento,  
Parcere subjectis & debellare superbos.   But O thou son of Rome let this  
Be thy only master piece,  
To have an order and decorum  
In the affairs of Court and Forum,  
Be kind to honest bully Sanders  
But pluck down proud and saucy panders.  

a 
Sic Pater Anchises atque haec mirantibus addit:  
Aspice.—   So said Anchises and withal,  
Quoth he, here comes a General,  
That shall the Carthaginians slay  
And flash the French men hip and thigh.  
Aeneas spied out one that had  
A good face, but his looks were bad,  
With folded arms and lover-wise  
Having his Hat down o'er his eyes:  
O Father, quoth he then, I wonder  
What may be he there that goes yonder?  

b Quis strepitus circà comitum.—  Lord what a bustle, what a Courtship  
Is there to attend his worship,  
By this retinue he seems one sure  
Of no small quality and honour,  

c Sed nox atra caput tristi circumvolat umbrâ.  And yet methinks I spy some mark  
Denotes him to be a shark.  

d Tum Pater Anchises, lachrymis ingressus obortis.  Then, quoth Anchises, weeping sore,  
This will be a mere son of a whore;  
A Caterpillar, Rascal, Rogue,  
A Thief, a Villain, Puppy-dog,  
One that will be a very moth  
O'th' Family, the scum and froth,  
And yet the whelp will be a Soldier  
None more resolute and bolder,  
He'll make a venture of his neck on  
Any exercise and weapon,  
He'll fight (this of him may be said)  
With any man that wears a head.  

e 
Sic totâ passim regione vagantur  
Aeris in campis latis, atque omnia lustrant.   Thus Father, Son, and the old Woman  
Walked along th' Elysian Common,  
Mingling discourses here and there,  
And building Castles in the air.  

f Sunt geminae somni portae.—  Somnus the lazy god of sleep  
Two doors to enter in doth keep,  
The eyes, to wit, which are supposed  
Sometimes open, sometimes closed:  
Aeneas had lain long a napping  
(These doors being shut) in quiet cabin,  
When on a sudden opening them  
He found he had been in a dream.  
FINIS.