THE COPY OF A BARON'S COURT: Newly translated by WHATS-YOU-CALL-HIM, Clerk to the same.  
Printed at Helicon, beside Parnassus, and are to be sold in CALEDONIA.   

ADVERTISEMENT.  
THE Publisher of the following Poem is credibly informed that the Author thereof was the learned and facetious Mr. Patrick Anderson, Dr. of Medicine; Who, besides his other Works, both Historical and Physical, wrote a Book in latin, 8vo. printed Edinb. 1635. entitled Grana Angelica, concerning the Nature and Use of these famous Pills, which are now commonly sold by the Name of Anderson's Pills.   
BARON, BAILY, OFFICER. * Bail. 
GOD save your worship.  * Bar. 
Welcome Baily; How  
Does Kate my Aunt, and Will my Godson do?  
What News abroad? How sells the Bear I pray?  * Bail. 
The Prices rises every Market Day.  * Bar. 
Good News i'faith: Come Sirrah, fill some Ale.  * Offic. 
He loves the Tongue that tells him such a Tale.  * Bar. 
Good bailie, pull him home; It's white: I think  
You are not dry, or loves not well our Drink.  * Bail. 
O Sir it's strong!  * Bar. 
And yet our Browster says,  
It is a fault comportable always:  
And this I think myself; For now I see  
Wine is a Stranger unto each Degree.  * Off. 
And long may it be so; For We could want it.  * Bail. 
You speak the Truth; I think the Laird will grant it.  
But O! the tender Stomaches are oppressed  
With Cruditys, and Mine among the rest.  * Bar. 
Drink Aquavitae Baily, that's no fault;  
The Spirit of Drink is now confined in Malt.  
As for myself I can as well be merry  
With the Bear-Pickle as the Spanish Berry.  * Bail. 
But let me interrupt your Worship; Why  
Did jack your Foot Man call me hastily?  * Bar. 
Some Disappointments makes me malcontent,  
I cannot live, and live not on my ●ent:  
My Court and Jurisdiction is as free  
As any not exceeding my Degree,  
And you Sir baily know that I can do it,  
My old Infestments lead me justly to it.  * Bail. 
Not to offend your Worship in Effect,  
I dare be bold, it is your own Neglect;  
Your Predecessors, of good Memory,  
Did manage Matters with Audacity;  
Your Power, Sir, is not a whit abreged,  
Nor yet was theirs more amply priveleged.  * Bar. 
You're right indeed: And I forsooth resent it,  
And possibly shall make some to repent it.  * Bail. 
Sir, Hold a COURT, that we may clearly see  
Th'alleged Abuses of the Barony.  
Go Officer, and warn the Tenants in,  
And where We ended let Us now begin;  
If with your Worship's Pleasure it could rest  
To countenance the Court, yourself; 'twere best.  * Bar. 
Go to, Sir Baily, for I must confess  
You are sufficient for the Bussiness;  
I'll to the Hunting: hay Dogs! hay Dogs! hay!  
Great pity were to loss so brave a Day.  BAILY, CHAMBERLAIN, CLERK, † Ch. 
GOod morrow Baily.  † Bail. 
You're the Trout I wished  
If for a great one I had all Day fished;  
Whence came you last? If asked it may be.  † Chamb. 
From compassing my Master's Barony.  † Bail. 
I cry for Mercy; I am thick of Hearing.  † Chamb. 
Sir, You may mend it, by a double Spearing.  † Bail. 
From Conquessing, I thought your Speech had been.  † Cham. 
Play on your Friends.  † Bail. 
Yet such Play has been seen;  
But to the Purpose: Is your Book about you?  † Chamb. 
A Psalm-Book Sir? Lo there is one! what doubt you  
The Moon is at the Full.  † Bail. 
So may some say,  
The Laird was like for to go mad the Day;  
It is your Book, Man, of Recepts, I mean.  † Chamb. 
Excuse Me Sir, it was by me mista'ne;  
What needs a Book of that Kind or Condition?  
I have Discharges of my Intromission.  † Bail. 
That's not the Matter: I would only see  
The Count of Rest, if any Rests there be.  
The Laird complains, and hath some cause I trow,  
At Whitsunday his Worship hath ado,  
And yet his Nails and Duties come not in  
Till that the Kalends of the next year ●in.  
This stains his Credit, damnifies his State,  
And this Abuse is bred but of the late.  † Chamb. 
The Rooms are rentaled to so high Avail,  
The Tenants termly cannot pay their hail:  
The bygone years (you know Sir) have been ill.  † Bail. 
They do not so (you'll grant) continue still.  † Chamb. 
I cannot helped: I poyned, arrest, remove,  
And all I do is for the Lairds Behoof.  † Bail. 
But give me leave, he much condemns your Sleuth.  † Chamb. 
You jest I hope: I pray Sir tell the truth?  ‖ Bail. 
And adds this more (for He envies your pelf)  
Indeed He could be Chamberlain himself:  ‖ Chamb. 
Good CHAMBERLAIN i'faith! Even let him try  
If He can gain more by that Craft nor I.  ‖ Bail. 
Lend Him but twenty Pieces, I'll be plain  
Ye shall be Friends yet or the Morn again.  ‖ Chamb. 
He's hungry: But myself shall never fill him;  
Pay my Advancements, take my Office till him.  ‖ Clerk 
Ye're Gentlemen of great Experience,  
I humbly would entreat your Patience;  
I wonder oft at one thing; That's to see  
Such Alterations in this poor Country.  
This Gentleman, whose Court We are to hold,  
His Father conquest: But this Man hath sold;  
Yet at his Death he left his Living free,  
And ten for one, He kept in Family,  
Brave Gentlemen, with double Horse and Boys,  
He filled the Causey with compleet convoys.  
His Son hath but a Footman and a Page,  
To whom he pays but little or no wage,  
And if He rid● to any public place,  
His Train is packed up in a leathern Case.  ‖ Chamb. 
It's good to have the Grace of God ye know,  
But here I halt, and let my Passion go  ‖ Bail. 
Good Chamberlain, this Text you should refer  
For to be handled by the Minister:  
we'll go no higher: Clerk but since you speer  
The cause of this great alteration here;  
I will not undertake to tell you all.  
But some that seems to be m●st principal,  
This Gentleman of whom we now discourse,  
(For I have ever known him from his Nurse)  
When that his Father yielded up the Gh●st,  
He was of Age but fifteen years at most;  
Then he began to rattle and to reel,  
And kicked against the College with his Heel;  
Horse, Hawks, and Dogs, with Guns, and such Munition,  
Began to get his Morning Repetition.  
And thus he lived till he was twenty Year,  
His Tutors found his Pastime was too dear,  
They did resolve to send him unto France,  
To learn to parley, handle Arms and dance,  
But what a Rank this rulelesse youth kept there  
Will now be seen upon his son and heir.  
He salted to the Rigs with Charges vain,  
No Rain that falls can make them fresh again.  Lady, Baily, Chamberlain, Clerk, Officer. ‖ Off. 
MADAM, the Members of the Court are met,  
All is not right, the Chamberlain doth fret.  ‖ Lady 
Where are they now?  ‖ Off. 
below into the Hall.  ‖ Lady 
Incontinent I will go see them all.  ‖ Bail. 
God save your Ladyship.  ‖ Lady 
And you Sir Baily,  
The Laird ha●h won, and you must pay the Failzie,  ‖ Bail. 
What is the Matter?  ‖ Lady 
I did lay a Crown  
You should not come before the Day at Noon.  ‖ Bail. 
But I durst lay the best Ox in my Plough,  
Madam your Tenants think it soon enough.  ‖ Lady 
Good Baily, Fleg them, fleg them, fleg them Thiefs,  
They multiply upon us termly grieves;  
It●s Lambmass now, and yet we want our Ferm,  
My husband bought a fleet horse at the Term,  
And I myself did se●l a score of Hogs  
To buy three couple of these English Dogs,  
In case the Laird with Caption were pressed,  
H● may hunt on to Berwick with the best  ‖ Bail. 
God shield your Ladyship but too much Cares.  ‖ Lady 
I love not Hunting that brings home no Hares.  ‖ Bail. 
The Gentleman is generously disposed,  
You need not think all that's in hazard loosed.  ‖ Lady 
This is a Fault remeediless in Men,  
Which you sir bailie perfectly do ken;  
Find Me, amongst twenty, one in all this Life  
That will take Council from his wedded wife.  
Though Women be not edutat at Schools  
I'm sure they are not all created Fools.  
To make him free, I willed him sell a Town,  
Tho' of the worth he would give somewhat down;  
It's misery to see a man so set,  
To rack his Rental, and obscure his Debt;  
This is my Verdict till the Day I die,  
A Man hath no more Rent, nor he hath free.  
The Chamberlain I trow is of my Mind;  ‖ Chamb. 
I never think to meddle in that kind.  * Lady 
I hope directly I did never wrong you.  * Chamb. 
I'll shift or one: Hereafter part among you.  * Bail. 
Courage Madam, redeem the Time bygone,  
There's Earth enough to build the Dyke upon.  
You have a Son, a Son of Expectation,  
A braver Youth is not in this our Nation.  
Descended of the best of BARON'S Blood,  
His Tocher yet may make all matters good.  * Lady 
And marry with his equals too?  * Bail. 
No, no;  
Your Ladyship did not hear Me say so.  
Go match Him with some wealthy Merchant's Child,  
So that the Wench be beautiful and mild;  
Thus shall you have some twenty-thousand Pound.  
Which will relieve the burden of the Ground.  * Lady 
That were the pathway (God forbidden) to wrong us,  
There's too much else of Burgess-Blood among us.  
Away with all that's got with Perjury,  
Light weights, false Measures, and with Usury;  
ere I disgrace his Parentage a Jot,  
I'll rather sell if 'twere until my Coat.  * Bail. 
I must confess, He is a lusty Lad,  
But Money now is ill for to be had.  * Lady 
I scorn that ever my Posterity  
Degener should from true Gentility.  * Bail. 
Gentility is nothing else, Madam,  
But Wealth continued in an House or Name;  
Empires beginning had, and End too.  
So hath the Race of ancient Barons now.  
Fatalitys are sometimes so prepared,  
That Laird turns no man, Merchant turns a Laird.  
Barons, you see, of singularity  
For Means do mix with Popularity.  * Lady 
We will advise.  * Bail. 
It's good to advise indeed,  
* † * ANGELS will breed you an immortal Seed. * † * i. e. Gold.  BARON, LADY, BAILY, CLERK, OFFICER, TENANTS. * Off. 
SIr Baily, all the Tenants are conveen'd.  * Bail. 
Clerk fence the Court.  * Ten. 
The great God be our Friend,  
For any thing that we can see or say  
No Mercy is for none of Us this Day.  † Clerk, 
Silence: I fence, and I forbidden in plain,  
In the Behalf of our dread Sovereign,  
And in the Name of the right honourable  
The Laird and Baily, sitting at this Table;  
That none presume to speak, Tho' for a Friend,  
Unless that Leave be asked and obteened  † Bail. 
Go forward quickly, and read on the Rolls,  
That We may know the Rest of Farn-Years Bolls.  † Clerk, 
john Petersen, john Paterson,  
john Dennison, john Davison,  
Tom Taylor, and his Brother,  
Will Waker and his Mother,,  
The o●d Good Wife, and her Son Gibbie,  
john johnson, and stin●ing Tibbie,  
The over town, and nether-town,  
The wester-town, and cotter-town,  
The Foul-Foord, and the Miln-town,  
Brank fornent him, and the Hiltown.  
The Mutton-Hole, and reck thou there,  
The windy-Walls, and Whissell-Bare.  † Off. 
They are all present.  † Ten. 
Here Sir Baily, Here,  
We cannot run no faster to repeer.  † Bail. 
john Davison, come tell Me what's your rest  
For you are one I know can pay it best.  † Io. Davison, 
Rest said you Bialy: Marry God be lo'ed.  
My Neighbours ken I get but little o'ed,  † Bail. 
Behold that Villain rightly understands,  
And yet unrightly answers my Demands,  
I must speak Scots, Swingeor, let it be shawen  
Into the Court, what thou art justly awn,  † john Davison, 
My awen, I thank you little or nothing,  
Was ever mine since you began to reign.  † Bail. 
God's pity, how can flesh and blood abide him▪  
The Rascal has so many holes to hid him.  † Off. 
The Laird is lighted, for it's more nor Noon,  
And asked at Me if that the Court was d●ne.  † Bail. 
Entreat his Worship humbly to ●●●e in,  
He's come in time, I pray thee fellow 〈◊〉.  
Your Worship's welcome, I have 〈◊〉 full near,  
Your Bail●; Sir, I think this twenty year,  
And yet such Knav'ry did I 〈…〉  
Under Pretext of plain Simpli●i●ie;  
john Davison as each man hears and sees,  
He cuts me off with Amphibologies.  † Io. Davison, 
I 〈◊〉 a bowl? or yet a Peck? No, no!  
I rather bailie broke my Leg in two;  
God bless the Laird! I trow his Worship knaws,  
I am a man that hath no Happer-Gaws.  
To tell you Sir the clipped Verity,  
I had a Stagg, a bonny beast to see,  
Our good young Master, the young Laird I mean,  
In a good time, He coft him here yestreen;  
Whose Price he said his Father would allow,  
And this compleets my bygone Mails, I trow.  ‖ Bar. 
Pass from him baliy, for this time, I swear  
If that I chance to live another year  
I'll teach them better manners. Clerk, call on;  ‖ Lady, 
A word my Heart, you's go again anon.  ‖ Off. 
behold the Lady's tender Love: I'll lay  
She's feared her Son shall get a Blow to Day.  * Bail. 
We will be doing till the Laird return,  
Let them make Moan who have best Cause to mourn.  
Tom Tailor, answer quickly and compear,  
What are you resting for your bygone year?  ‖ Tom Ta: 
At Pasch I lent the Lady twenty pound,  
In payment of the Duty of the Ground.  
Be●ore you all in public I protest,  
I own no more, and this completes my Rest.  † Bail, 
Call for the Laird, I do not understand  
This form of payment that's from hand to hand.  * Lady, 
Go Officer, round in the Bailies Ear,  
That he would pass from poor Tom Tailor there,  * Bail, 
It shall be so, Will Waker, what say you,  
It's not your fashion to advance I trow.  * W. Wa. 
God help me Sir: I cannot well deny,  
And ye● I have my Summer Meal to buy.  ‖ Bail. 
Go Officer, and poinded his house with speed,  
He's not so poor as he doth peep indeed.  
I moved the Laird to give him something down,  
Yet notwithstanding he will play the Lown.  
Call on the Tenants of old Whissel-bare,  
How now? I think I see none of them there:  
Cause note them absent. Windy-walls compear,  
What are ye resting for the foresaid year?  * Tenn. 
More nor our room can pay, as you well ken,  
If you exacted, we are but herried men.  ‖ Bail. 
I cannot let these crafty Villains pass,  
I'll tell you Clerk the story as it was,  
The Laird that's dead, a Baron of good worth.  
Whose Conscience did bear his Credit forth,  
In all his Conquesses, and in this too,  
This Town I mean, which they do labour now,  
The same Companions did give up that day  
The Rental, which they now refuse to pay.  
Go Officer, and poind them, Man by Man,  
I'll meet their craft the best way that I can.  * Bar, 
I'm come again to see how matters falls.  * Bail. 
we're at the Tenants of the Windie-walls.  * Tenn, 
The Windie-walls, a place and name most fit,  
And so is seen on us poor men in it.  * Bar. 
I know your shifts, so did my Father too.  ‖ Tenn. 
we're in your will, do what you list to do.  ‖ Bar. 
It's notour, that I lent you money here,  
To pay your debts, and pay a stronger Feet?  
I'm born to set you Land, so that you pay,  
But not to entertain you tho' I may.  ‖ Bail: 
Call on the Tenants of the Over-town.  ‖ Ten. 
Here's our Discharges Bailie.  Bail. 
Lay them down,  
They rest nothing indeed.  Bar. 
Go take them in,  
And with the best Ale roundly pack their skin:  
These are the Lads that I may lippen till,  
Go to your Dinners, Eat and drink your fill.  * Off. 
The rest, Sir Bailie, have Discharges too.  ‖ Bail. 
That likes me well, we have the less ado▪  
Unlaw the absents, and see that ye poind  
The Tenants resting, as you was enjoined.  * Clerk. 
Sir Bailie, please, you have not ended all,  
There are some bills yet of complaint to call.  ‖ Bail. 
Be short then Clerk, I cannot stay, say on,  * Clerk. 
john Dunkison against john Davidson.  * Bail. 
That john Davidson he is a pakie Knave,  
He doth molest us more than all the lave.  † Io. Da. 
I never had a pack in all my life,  
But one, I wasted wooing of my Wise.  † Bail. 
Your Worship hears, who can abide his mocks?  † Bar. 
Go Officer and put him in the Stocks.  ‖ Clerk, 
As also Baily, here poor Maggie Beans  
Upon Will Waggrels heavily compleans.  ‖ Off. 
That is a wonder, ask at Sandy Sim,  
For she did on●y love john Dick and him.  ‖ Bail. 
What is the matter? Quickly Me●g say on.  ‖ Maggie Beans, 
Will Waggrels is the man I plean upon,  
He promised me good Bear to sow indeed,  
Yet he conceived me sir, with rotten seed,  
Hold you that reason Baily?  ‖ Bail. 
No:  
It is a common cause, none will say so.  
What say you Will?  ‖ Will Waggr. 
I swear by Saint Muff  
In all my Stack I had n● better stuff.  ‖ Bail. 
Without all question you must pay her Loss.  ‖ W. Wag. 
I'll do no less, because I am her Goss.  ‖ Lady, 
Now for my Interest Baily I compeer,  
We have a kid Thief to our webster heae,  
A greater Knave lives not I think nor He,  
'Cause punish him and that exemplarly.  * Web●●er, 
Baily! Now for the love of God but hear Me.  † Bail. 
What would you say? Stand by let him come near me:  † Webst. 
It's not so much for any Imputation,  
The Lady hath unto my Occupation,  
As for my Daughter, who but went away,  
Out of her service the Last Whitsunday,  
Who at her going, when she craved her Fee,  
The Lady locked a gown up privily,  
Which was into my Daughters Keeping, so  
Her Fee thus poinded, she got leave to go:  
Judge you sir Baily, for I cannot read,  
If this be not a crying sin indeed.  * Bail. 
If you be true, I think Madam you wrong him.  * Lady, 
I know as much, sir Baily, as would hang him.  † Bail. 
Into this Ground he shall no longer sit,  
Wherefore I warn you presently to flit.  † Webst. 
Must it be so, for any thing I see,  
My Bounty's like unto my Daughters Fee.  † Off. 
Go get you gone in time, if you be wise,  
Lest you pass to the Knowledge of a Size.  † Bail. 
To speak the truth, good Servants now are Scant,  
Their Fees likewise are grown exorbitant.  † Clerk, 
It is no marvel, sir, though it be so,  ‖ Bar. 
Tell me the reason, Clerk, before you go.  ‖ Clerk. 
Where Barons wont to keep some four, some three,  
They snedded have such Superfluity;  
One serves the Cure perhaps of little Valour,  
The Laird his Jackman is the Lady's Tailor,  
The Stewart, Cook, and Browster now are one,  
All gallant Fellows to the wars are gone;  
In one man's person this plurality  
Makes men indeed to crave a larger Fee;  
And Lady's Gentlewomen (as they call them)  
A world of Gifts must now a Days befall them  
To sow, to spin, wove Pearline, and knit shanks,  
To page the Laird, and win the Stewarts Thanks:  
She must be rare in all these handy trads,  
Cast off her Gown, and sign go make the beds;  
At all Occasions she must still be ready,  
Or else she is not meet to serve my Lady.  † Bail. 
Clerk, by your Leave, I'll teach the Laird a Trick,  
Requests you see instead of press go thick,  
Offer unto some Captain two or three  
Of Yeomen, men within the Barony,  
By Violence ere they aboard be brought,  
They'll rather stay and serve the Laird for nought.  † Ten. 
Baily, Forsooth your Counsel ay was good,  
An heavy Curse we give you to conclude.  † Bail. 
Your Worship will take you for Me I trow,  † Bar. 
Such Casualitys belong to you.  † Bail. 
Sir, I request you for the Clerk provide them.  † Clerk 
Nay, rather, sir, betwixt you two divide them.  † Lady, 
Clerks ay were Knaves: Take up your books, and gilt,  
You fash the Laird, your Dinner, sir, is spilt.  † Baron, 
Up stay the Pleugh, and let Us kill a Mouse,  
I and the bailie must have one Carouse.  
Vivet post Funera VIRTUS.  
FINIS.