An ANSWER To Sr. Timothy Touchstone At John the Brewer's Lodging, At the Sign OF THE Naked Truth, AT TYBURN.  
HOnest Tim, To tell you in plain Truth, I am in Love with your Style, for that it takes much in this Age, amongst the Commonalty, as in Bartholomew-Fair, the Fool is the wisest Man in the Play, the very show of him is a Jest; and any thing that's serious put under a Fool's Coat must take well; for to write damned serious, as Mr. Presbyter, or Mr. Papist. In this Age Sense is fling away, but your way I must applaud, for that Buffoon fashion of your Discourse, certainly is the best way of abusing persons in the World, in any sort of Notions that are to be Insinuated.  
For look you (said I Mr. Tim.) Can any person be at Stampford in lincoln shear at 2 a Clock in the Afternoon, and take water with Sir Edmond Bury Godfrey at Whitehall Stairs at the same time? I say he may, and be as visible as Jo. the Brewer, at the Sign of the naked Devil: (for say I) to have 25000 l. per Annum, to manage that Estate well, and to manage the Government, is too much for one Man that hath other matters to consider, as a Regiment of Players, Pimps, Whores, Fluters, Scriveners, Chemists, Presbiterians, Papists, Phonaticks, and an unconstant Temper. But this (say I) may be managed with Discretion; and how, quoth Timothy? I'll tell you, When I am at Court, how easy a matter is it for one to follow St. Paul's Rule, to be all things to all men, to make fair promises to the business in hand, and afterwards to know nothing of it; then to place it on the negligence of my Servant not to mind me of it; and to call him Rogue and Rascal for his negligence. This is commendable, this is satisfaction without doubt, to any reasonable person, and does well enough for any public matters.  
But hang it, I hate to be a Courtier, to Hawk and Hunt in the Country: To kiss my wife's waiting Gentlewoman, to ingratiate myself with the Citisons wives in Town, is a better Life behalf; and a Man does it with more popularity, for (say I) It's more commendable in the City to go to Church with ones own Wife, and to have his Servant follow him, with a large Embossed Bible, and to be serious, and know nothing of the matter at Church. It must needs please God, and create popularity, and graft a flourishing Presbiterian Head upon the Crabtree Stock of Popery. But let the Church of England be neglected, because it's not inclineable to mutation, as also those persons that are or shall pretend to be true to the King and Church, but I had almost forgot Tim, that those persons that are true to the King and Government, must be run down with noise and nonsense, And why? Because they advise the king not to part with any point that belongs to him of right, and that for the people's sake and safety, and for the King to pretend to command his own Servants to obey him, and justify him when done, it's for certain Treason, but if it be not so, we'll set such a Countenance upon it, that none but a Papist durst contradict it.  
Now Tim, I'll tell you how I manage my private Affairs; in plain truth, I hate any man of business, except it be such as brings me money (for I abhor dirty Acres, the Clamour of Tenants or any thing that pretends thereunto.  
I had once several persons of Honour and Quality for my trusties, that keep my drooping Estate together, but they went such formal ways to work, as I abhorred them, being not persons of dispatch, taking the trouble of looking over Bills, casting them up looking over Parchments drawn by impertinent Lawyers, filled with nonsensical stuff, Prouisoes of Redemption and such like fopperies. At which time I had a Fellow, though Tim that I implied in my business, that you mention, that effectually improved my Estate 1900 l. per Annum, and those Rents which were ineffectual, he made them effectual; so that my Estate was in some sort of plight. But this formal way of doing Business, was trouble some; I therefore turned him out of my Service. (but to say truth, he was willing to be rid of me) for such a Master and such a Servant and such trusties, you may imagine, could not well agree. But how do you think Tim I rewarded him. I being a man much in Credit (as any Alderman in the City) got acquainted with the famous Scriveners, and also with a cunning Rump Solicitor, who I knew to be men of business, and Rogues that had the command of money, for when all is done those sort of fellows are the best being men of dispatch and if they do lie and cheat, they do it without troubling me and it's no matter if I pay in pro and con 10 and 12 per cent. ready money is the life of all things, and if by their Designs they beat down the value of my Lands and Wood in Order to their or others purchase, for I have found a great many old cunning Rascals, that will take pains to get 3 or 4000 l. by a Purchase: It's a Credit to be in a Srivenor and Bankers Books. But the fellow that served me, I think I shall be even with him, for I have employed the Scrivener which is a man of Reputation, and possibly may be a Parliament Man, and my Rump Solicitor, now my trusties, to tease that fellow at Law, upon pretence of cheating me, and that pretence cloak their designs, but they can make nothing of the matter. But now I think one, the Cheat will be the other way, for I being careless, did not much mind it, and I have this comfort, that none will conspire my death for my Estate, but there has been abundance of dirt fling and I am sure some will stick, and I shall bear the Charactor, that I am a person that minded not things of this world and so not fit for it. As for my Executors I shall give them little trouble, as for my Heirs I have none. Be now say I a good Plot may repair all sorts of negligence.  
Now Tim, I expect to hear from you, but I request that you will leave off your Fools or Knaves Coat, and disguise not yourself under a Jesuittical or Presbiterian way of Lying. Be like the Church of England whose Doctrines are plain and intelable.  
Praise God, and honour the King.