AN ANSWER To the Character of an Exchange-wench: OR A VINDICATION OF AN Exchange-woman.  
LONDON, Printed for Thomas Croskill. 1675.   

AN ANSWER TO THE Character of an Exchange-wench.  
AN Exchange-Woman does as far exceed a mere Gentlewoman, as a Civil Tradesman does a common Shark, having a commendable Calling to vouch for her honesty. She's one Bow with two strings, being generally born to a compitable Fortune, she wisely shrowds herself under the safe Covert of a good Trade. To secure her felicity; her Shop serves her instead of a Nunnery, where being bufied with the concerns of a laudable calling, she forgets, or neglects the Debauches of the Town: She's railed in like an Altar, and secured by a Partition as a thing that's sacred. She's as tempting as the forbidden Fruit, and has a Noli me tangere for her Motto: She needs no other Purgatory, having gone through the strict Discipline of a severe Mistress, whereby she becomes so accustomed to Virtue, that at length it grows Natural. She is that politic Hermaphrodite, who acts the part both of Man and Woman, in preserving both her Honour and Family; a large Book with a little Title, being really worth five times as much as her Fortune; She's an En-tail for Life, and whoever has her may reckon he has purchased above a hundred a Year.  
As for her Original she is generally the Honourable offspring of some Country Gentleman, who being cursed with a multitude of Blessings (I mean Children) and by ambition made slave to his eldest Son, is forced to piece out his Daughter's fortune with a profitable employ, which is often the Stirrup to sublimer Fortune.  
Her Education is as Gentile as her Birth, and she knows not but she's a Fortune till she goes to receive it. She is respected according to the noise of her Father's Estate, which is generally two hundred a year, and kept as fine in her Childhood as if she were to enjoy it herself.  
Her Virtuous Education breeds in her so sweet an Innocence that she dreads to look in a Man's face for fear of discovering his desires at his Eyes, and if he says but I'faith, she presently corrects him for Swearing. She has such a propensity to goodness that she acts it unawares, and often surprises both herself and others with her own Virtue. She is as ignorant of Vice, as of Terra Incognita and though she designed to be wicked she would not know how to effect it. She often wonders at the production of mankind, and lives to eleven or twelve years of Age before she's convinced that she did not spring out of the Parsley-bed.  
Thus having the advantages of a Gentile Birth, good Education, and virtuous Inclination; she is designed by her Parents, whose affections are larger than their ●ags (their Quality obliging them to live up to the height of their Estate) to be put under the discreet tuition of some honest and able Exchange-Woman, thereby to obtain an honest and honourable employment, to secure her from those storms of Fate which are commonly severe on little Fortunes.  
That the Employment is as honourable as any other Inland Trade cannot be denied, they enjoying the same Privileges, dealing in as Rich Commodities, and having attained as great Estates, as any other Vocation whatsoever. Which hath induced many noble families distressed by War, or Accidents, to bring up their Daughters to this Calling wherein some have proved so fortunate as to give a happy Resurrection to their whole family. And at this day Heaven is so kind to their commendable endeavours, as to recompense their good designs with unexpected success, of which, should I give a Catalogue of those young Ladies, whose unparallelled Virtue, and good deportment have tempted Men of extraordinary Estates to desire them in Marriage; I should write rather a Volumn then a sheet: But my design in Writing being only to rescue that honourable Society, from the bitter invectives of that Satirical Character, I shall forbear particulars, and only acquaint you, That the Exchange itself is no less than an Academy, and the Youth therein, the diligent Student of Virtue and good manners, 'tis true, there is some Sub graduates, and other Mistresses of Arts, who like kind and careful Tutoresses take such pains with their Pupils, that they never leave instructing them till they have made them as knowing as themselves; If any prove vicious or Irrefectory they are presently expelled.  
So that an Exchange Maid is a refined Vertuosa, one who has sealed her Gentility, with the Martyrdom of an Apprenticeship, she's as happy in her Shop as a Miss in a Playhouse: and better pleased with the moderate gains of an honest Trade, than the other is with the Extravagant Allowance of a Wild Gallant, she's so far from being a drudge to the world that she sits still and gets an Estate.  
The whole Town's her Labourer, and he that goes finest her greatest slave, who as if his Money were a bad Commodity foolishly exchanges it for Lace or Ribbons; as Bubbles do to Gamesters, he brings her Cash whether she will or no; He's her mere subject, and like the French King she imposes a Tax upon every thing he wears. How then can she be unhappy when even our fancies and Extravagancies contribute to her welfare.  
She's a Creature ready cut and dried for all preferment, and no less than a coach and six, can tempt her from her employment, an arrogant Fop that courts her to a smile, swears he has got her heart, and with himself contrives an assignation, when she only did it, either in complaisance to his folly or her own advantage.  
A spruce Cit, bristles up to her like a Turkeycock, and would fain be Trading, but as she has attractions to draw, so she has discretion to slight his Amours, her facetious discourse, makes him think her easy to come at, when, indeed sh● does it as Welshmen on H●ls, who though they 〈◊〉 near together, are really likely never to meet.  
In short, her smilles are innocent, as sleeping Infants, and she preserves herself an unblemished Sacrifice for a happy Husband; She has all the accomplishments of a Gentle Woman, but if she be defective in any thing 'tis Vice, being un-acquainted with the Gallants; She's a Stranger to deceit, and hating the rattling of a Coach remains untainted with the Pleasures and Debauches of the Town.  
In her Shop she patiently attends both her business and Fate, and when she marries needs no advice from a Midwife to cheat her Husband into the belief of a Maidenhead: In fine she is happy as she is, but if she altar her condition, experience shows us, she may become a Duchess.  

To the Exchange Maids.  
THus I like you have wasted three hours' time,  
To hid your wrinkles and to make you fine;  
Your sickly Credits I so well restore;  
I make you more renowned than before:  
The Character you know was something Witty,  
And I'faith to speak the Truth, I think it hit you,  
The Author knows your tricks, and spoke the more,  
Because he had been bit by you before.  
His Passion therefore (Ladies) done't admire,  
A Child that's burnt, does always dread the Fire.  
〈◊〉 with Frowns— But cast your smiles on him.  
Who took this pain to ransom your 〈◊〉.  
The Theme was barren, and did plague me more,  
Then any Subject  I writ before:  
'Twas full an hour  my Muse could raise  
A true expression to set out your Praise;  
Which that my brooding thoughts did  impart,  
Was more my fancy then your due desert.  
Like him who courts a homely Mistress, I  
Was forced to give my Conscience the Lye.  
And (Heavens forgive me) I know ne'er a Line,  
In all the Sheet, but what I thinks a sin.  
And since you're Sinners too, I only wish  
That we may 〈◊〉 in better Sheets than this.   
FINIS.