AN ANSWER TO THE LETTER FROM Amsterdam, Of April the 18. 1678.  
Being found at Harwich, opened, and carried to the Magistrates of that Place.  — Redit labor actus in Orbem. 
Printed Anno Dom. 1678.   

AN ANSWER TO THE LETTER from Amsterdam, Of April the 18. 1678.  
Dear Fellow-Labourer,  
YOurs of the 18th, of April came to a thousand hands, before it reached mine. You do ill to commit matters of such Importance to any thing, but to cipher, knowing how much we have always owed to Disguises: For which reason our Apostles preach not, but in a Cloak, and, for greater security, under two Caps, and choose their Texts out of the mysterious Book of the Revelations: They understand well enough that the precious Seed, which they sow, will not grow, unless it be well covered, and that the Children of Light are none of the wisest Generation. It grieved my heart, and almost turned my stomach, to see the Old Cause look like an Old Courtisane newly risen, undressed, unpainted, and unperfumed. What a vast difference there is between the Cause dressed, and undressed? I beseech thee, who could endure to look on the Hag in her nakedness, her design of subverting Church and State, dethroning Kings, turning out Bishops, and destroying men for daring to be honest and rich, in fine, in her Native cheating, lying, and forswearing, with a thousand other Hellish qualities? But when she hath put on her tender Conscience, her fears of Popery and Arbitrary Government, her good will towards the King, and her charitable endeavours to reform his Ministers: In good faith! she is not the same thing. Wherefore, my dear Brother, let us behave ourselves like good Jockeys, and not discover the faults of our Beast, till she is sold. This, I assure thee, was the Art of our noble and successful Predecessors, whose Designs the Well-meaning men (as they called them) never perceived, till past their power to prevent.  
However, as the Devil will have it, the Publication of thy Letter has not done us much harm: For, People are now so well and solidly deceived, that it is no such easy task to cure 'em. We talked to 'em formerly so much of the Gospel, that 'tis now Natural for 'em to take every thing, we speak, for such. 'Tis true, it cost us many a painful grimass, many a screwed eye, much wring of the hands, and many an heartrending groan, before they came to the Lure; but when we had once blinded 'em, we ' even did what we pleased with 'em: We made sport with 'em as the Philistines did with Samson, and may continue to do so, provided we remember to keep their hair cropped, that is, instruct 'em well in the Presbyterian Catechism. I must confess, it is wonderful to see, with what ease they swallow any thing from us, in so much as it is hard to tell, whether their throats are wider in taking in our Impostures, than ours would be in devouring them, whenever they fall within our clutches. We told them, that War with France was so necessary for us, that we ought to begin it before the least preparation was made towards it: and they believed us. Presently we tell 'em, that twenty trifles are far more necessary to be provided for, than the War: and they call it the Sense of the Nation. We told the King, that we could not advise him either to War or Peace, unle●● we knew every individual part and circumstance of his late Message into France, etc. and yet we took upon us a little before to advise him to a Declaration of War, when we understood nothing of those matters: and our shifting passes undiscovered. We say, that it is our Interest to join with any of the Confederates, that shall yet dare to stand out against the French King; and yet at the same time, and during the instant Treaty, we think fit to disband our Army, that no Confederate may be encouraged to do so. On the one side we profess, that there is no safety for us, unless we reduce the French Affairs to their condition at the Pyrenean Treaty; and on the other we take care in this conjuncture, to give his Most Christian Majesty the best opportunity we are able, of making good terms. And when the noise of our coming into the Confederacy, had made him quit Sicily, and offer Proposals for Peace, we resolved to ease his mind of those fears, and leave him to prey on Europe in quiet: and after all we gravely call the Courtier's Pensioners of France, and make the People believe, that the King himself is selling Three Kingdoms for a French Marquisate. When we have a mind to accuse any Great Minister, 'tis enough for us to cry stop Thief once, and all the Hounds open immediately: and because we allege nothing against him, they conclude his crimes unspeakable. I vow to thee, it tickles me, to behold how easily we gull 'em. They are ravished with our Votes as soon as ever they hear 'em: Nay they are ready to swear they are good, before they know what they are. The first sentence is, What has the House of Commons done to day? The second, And very well done too. So that I verily believe, should they hear of a Vote passed for a Navy to cruise on Salisbury Plains, or that the House of Commons be entrusted with the Militia, they would instantly protest, that it were the most reasonable thing in the World. I am of opinion, that they imagine the Commons bound by their places to save the rest of the Nation the labour of Thinking, and that it were ridiculous not to trust those with their Reason, whom they have trusted with (what they account more precious) their Purse.  
The King's late Speech, and the Chancellor's gave us some rub: They had so much plain and undeniable Reason in them, that several of our Well-meaning Party began to fail us. But a little patience will bring all about again. We must seem to yield at first, then protract matters, spend whole days in sober debate whether forthwith, immediately, or out of hand be most proper, as if our Parliament intended to vie with the French Academy in refining Language, and then when matters are indifferently well perplexed, and the 〈◊〉 pretty thick, secretly clap on a weight, and bring in an appropriating clause, which, like the substracting mark in Algebra, takes off the force of those Figures it is annexed to: and the day is our own once more. I never yet knew any Act so stout, as that it was not, like the Dragon in the Apocrypha, in danger of being split by these hairs. Tacking of words one to another, is not more necessary for the confounding of sense to our Teachers, than Tacking of Bills for the confounding of business to our Statesmen. However I must acknowledge to thee, that I like not this stile of Rhetoric, which they have now li't-on at Court. Such resolution and briskness, if pursued, will utterly ruin us. A soft, meek, condescending Speech for my money: Oh! this is Oil to the Fire. When we hear such an one, we begin to think them guilty enough, and ourselves their Masters. In like manner we want mightily the old way of taking off, which certainly, while it held, was one of the greatest Revenues of our Cause.  
It is a great pity that our Stratagem of removing Ministers took not. 'Twas an excellent good one, and had done our work effectually. By this means, we should have stripped the King of his Friends: For, who, dost think, would have ventured the being a Counsellor, unless he could Prophesy what advice would be grateful to us, and would be sure to give none else: and that would not serve his turn neither, for, we would be sure to disapprove it at a venture: besides, it is our privilege (and we have Precedents for it) to accuse him, without being bound to show any cause, which, how Paradoxical soever it may seem, is both just and honest; For, Vox Populi, Vox Dei: and, thou know'st whose Representatives we are. Moreover, had this Plot taken, the King had not only lost, but we had got Friends. We have daily experience in what stead we are served by outed Statesmen. The Turks and we are much of a nature, and Renegadoes commonly prove the best Captains to us both.  
We must endeavour to lessen the House of Lords, as much as we can; (Nobility and Treachery seldom fadging well together) and in order thereunto we begin to act, as if there were no such thing in the World. We pronounce, that all Treaties, and other State-Transactions, aught to be conformable to our Addresses; and though the Lords better Education, frequent Travelling abread, etc. do generally fit them more for considerations of this kind, yet men ought to believe (as we do ourselves) that each of us comes from the Plough like another Serranus, and being once the Creature of a dozen Shoemakers, or suchlike Fellows, (and these drunk too) is sufficiently gifted for the Government of a Nation. And the best is, that as amongst the Bishops we have some who favour Presbytery, which is, No Bishops, so among the Lords we have some Birthright-sellers who carry on our Democracy, which is, No Lords.  
But, at present, our great and true grievance is the New-raised Army. We'll sit hard, but it shall not stand long. We are resolved, like green Pease, (the season affords me the similitude) to eat 'em young, though it cost us never so dear: they may grow too hard for our teeth. And therefore (to carry on the Metaphor) we butter 'em, and pepper 'em. We soothe 'em with fair words, and join issue with the King in calling 'em brave men, and such as spent their livelihoods that they might venture their lives for their Country. And at the same time we are about to appoint Committees for the receiving complaints, and hearing the lamentable cries of several Pigs and Geese against them, and have ordered stories to be brought in of more important Outrages. Somewhat in imitation of the Scotch stratagem: but, the truth is, the Scots have the advantage of us in this point, not only because they are the more demure, and consequently the better, liars, (and men hardly suspect so much wit, as a lie comes to, in that tone) but also because the Scene of their Drama is more remote, and their stories not so easily disproved as ours. In all cases we firmly purpose one way or other to get rid of this upstart Monster. For, else, what would those tumults, thou speakest of, signify? We'll disband 'em, if it be but to find 'em again, when we ourselves need 'em. We'll serve 'em as a Printer doth his Letters, distribute 'em after the printing one sheet into their respective Boxes, that, when occasion is, they may be set in a new form to print another.  
Thou needest not bid us to set the pattern of 41 before our eyes: but I should be glad thou couldst tell us a way of removing it from those of others: It doth us no small mischief. Would to Jove, the Act of Oblivion had been more efficacious, and corresponded better to the ends, for which we desired it; which were only, thou knowst, that their Party might not remember, to prevent, nor ours to forbear. But we are never content. What an ungrateful Rogue am I to grumble so much, when I ought rather to thank the Devil, that (for the generality) those impressions are at this time so well worn out, that men begin to hear with patience, what they would have abhorred five or six years ago, and now prick up their ears, where then their hair would have stood an end?  
Before I go any farther, I think fit to advertise thee of one thing, which is, that thou must not think, for any thing thou readest here, that the Nation, or House of Commons are all of our Party. No; we have a very small one in either. But 'tis no news to thee, that the Pharisees are of the quality of Leaven: a little serves to influence the lump. Our business in the House is, by specious pretences and covert lies, (the Tools of our Trade) to work a League offensive and defensive with several honest Gentlemen, who mean better than they understand, and by this course, when Noses are told, (thanks to those which we lead) for the most part we exceed by one or two: and such a Vote is as much the Common Justice and Prudence, as if it had been made Nemine contradicente. I assure thee, this is a great Prerogative of the House, and vast Privilege for the Members; For, by this means many times a Noddle that hath never a dram of sense in it, comes in a trice to be the sense of the Nation.  
Prithee, as soon as thou canst, send me over some Hand-Granadoes, I mean, some pretty acquaint stories to throw among the People. Popery is as good a Topick, as ever; it holds out admirably well. This morning a man brought me a dozen of Stories to sell; and at least nine or ten of 'em were on that subject. But I refused 'em all for improbable, save only one, which was of 50 Priests hid in a Cave in Wales, which he offered to prove out of the Old Testament, saying that Abdias' hiding the Prophets was not History, but Prophecy. There was another, of a secret League between England and France, sealed and delivered by the two Kings in the presence of certain Brandenburghers, which was pretty passable, and I may chance to buy.  
But now to the main: Bid the French Agent endeavour to have our Subsidies better complied with. What? does he think the 50 thousand Pistols returned hither the other day such a business? Mind him of our natural Antipathy against his Nation, and that it requires a great deal to take this off, and make us fit for Bribery on the square. But let him not despond: Money will do the work: 'tis that (as a modern Author, though an Enemy, truly says) which makes all doctrines plain and clear. This will force us to mistake the French King for the Spanish: and with good reason too, when his Gold speaks him so great a Master of the Indies. We'll make the whole Nation serve him: that is, we'll do his business, and receive his Money, and the Courtiers shall bear the blame. But, in good truth and sober sadness, we must watch the Monsieur's waters, and assist no farther to the breaking of the Confederacy, than it conduceth to the piecing up of the Covenant. We may else bring our Hogs to a fair Market: that is, ' even be sold for Slaves. Did you ever hear of such a wheedling Letter, as he sent lately to our Brethren the States? He looks like the Ostler with his Hat in his hand, and a little Oats in't, and his Bridle under his arm: If he catch the Beast, he'll try if he can sit it better than the Spaniard; and, I'll warrant, he'll be sure to gird its fat belly straight enough, and never be at the expense of shooing.  
It grieves me, that we have lost so prime a Pen, as thou mentionest; but my comfort is, that our Authors seldom write well of the right side. Besides, we have such store of Wits amongst us, that we hardly miss him: For, thanks be to Jove, the Saints now are not only famous for profound humdrum Nonsense, but we have as shrewd raillery, and tart drolling, as any is among the profane; so that now under the Sheep's skin you have not only the Wolf, but the Monkey also: and if thou consider'st the intolerable Fornication amongst us, thou'lt say, 've hooked in the Goat to be of our Party too. We are infinitely improved since our first institution. Our way is broader than it was, and more comprehensive: We take in all Sects but Episcopacy, and have greater store of Deists and Atheists, than the Conformists. Perhaps thou smilest, when I tell thee of Atheists, but I assure thee (which is, doubtless, a miracle in confirmation of our doctrine) there are no greater sticklers for Religion than our Atheists; which makes me not question, but they're of the Elect: but the Atheists of the other side are in a sad condition.  
There's no fear of Andrew's desertion: He's of a right stock. Hull has an exact Representative in him, and hardly intoxicate more by its Ale, than by its Burgess. He is a first-rate Wit, and you may know him to be a good satire by the Signature.  
This goes not in cipher, because of the opportunity I have of this Express, who is an honest and trusty Gentleman. He is one of our Coffee-house Messengers, who visit those Houses, better than any Bishop his Diocese, and as punctually as the Carriers of the Playhouse Bills, only with this difference, that these tell you what is to be acted or counterfeited to day, and our men relate what was acted and counterfeited yesterday. In fine, they are Politic Rat-catcher's, that walk every day from Man's in the Court of Requests, to Garoway's by the Exchange, and crumble their State-Ratsbane in every Coffee-house, as they go. But I must leave off, being just now ordered by the Juncto to draw up some more Relations of proceed in the lower House, in such fashion, as may be most creditable and advantageous for the Cause, which are to be sent into the Country after the rest, which, we hear, operate kindly, and do admirable service there.  
Pray let me constantly hear how squares go in thy Province, and what ground the Devil gets in his Neighbourhood the Low-Countries.  
Now according to form I should say, So I rest: But we protest against Forms, as I do most especially against this, for, to say truth amongst Friends, I can never rest, till— Therefore without any more ado, I am,  
Dear Fellow-Labourer, Whom and What thou knowst. Lond. June 5. 78. S. V.