Medico Mastix OR, A Pill for the Doctor:  
Being a short Reply to a late Vindictive Letter, sent to Mr. Vicars, in the name of Doctor Bastwick, concerning Leiut: Coll: JOHN LILBURN.  
By E. A. A She presbyterian.  1 COR. 13. Although I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, (or love) I am but as sounding brass, or as a tincling cymbal. 
Printed in the year. 1645.   

Medico Mastix, OR A Pill for the Doctor.  
Being a short Reply to a late Vindictive letter sent to Master Vicars, &c.  By E. A. A she Presbyterian. Brother Bastwick. 
IN regard none of the Independent party hath taken upon them to answer your book of no Manners. I your Sister a Member of the Church of England, have undertaken the task, it being fittest for a fool to answer a fool in his Folly.  
YOu say in the first page of your Idle Pamphlet you have taught Leiv. Coll: Lilburn (so much) manners. That i in answer unto you say, You have left yourself never a whit: For you have gone beyond the bounds of Modesty and civility. (In your seventeenth page) you have reviled your Creator, in the despising of his creatures. Secondly, The last Petitioners for the Liberty of the subject, you call them ghastly, ugly faces, having Complexions like the Belly of a Toad. O blasphemous lie! For God himself saith of his works they are all very good. In page Six, you say the devil shit out Independent Ministers. Brother, I fear you are one of his treatles: For its like you are of his very nature, you know so well what he doth; Why are you so foolish to find fault with the Sucking Apothecary, seeing you yourself order the Pipe? Brother, I think you have scoured your Pate, as clean of Wit, and your Tongue of Manners, as some do their close stools after the sound of your Glisters. A Taylor, or a controller of the dripping pans are better trades than a milk-wench, that milks her cows backwards. and lets them Scomer in the pail. I hope you will not condemn me, seeing I am so apt a scholar of yours to learn your own Language, at the first teaching: For it is the manner of Schoolmasters, to commend their forward puples.  
I thought to gratify my Master with a Cap and a cock's feather, with a Bell, a Ladle and a Pudding; because he is more fit for a Vice in a morris, then to be near a Wise council.  
No marvel (Dr, Bastwick) you have so impudently belied the Independents (as you call them) to say They purpose to put down all the Nobility and Gentry in the kingdom (page 21.) when as your own Conscience can witness: they are the readiest people, to give God his due and Cesar his.)  
Sir, In the latter end of your railing Pamphlet, you say that there is no Kindred so good, that hath not either a Whore or a Knave in it. So it is impossible in such a great council as the Parliament is, but they should have some Ninnyes and Groles, and men that have no more wit, then will reach from their Nose to their mouths. If I had been a man, and had spoken such words in this Age, I should never have lived to come to so great an honour, as to have a grey Beard, and a Set of thin teeth of God's placing: But I should surely be Hanged, and well I had deserved it: For it is as great Treason as any is, to make a kingdom so void of wisdom, as to make choice of naturals to sit in so great a Court as a Parliament is: Oh that the wisdom of the Parliament would consider what you have done, for you seem to vindicate the one party, and revile the other: and so divide the House. Then, how shall it stand, where works of Truth and righteousness are, they will justify themselves, and have no need of a foul-mouthed railing-Lyar, to maintain them, for that is a great disgrace.  
Brother, the number of those honest people (whom you call Independents) is so greatly increased, and so surely grounded are they upon the Rock Christ, that its neither you, nor I, nor all our Brethren the Presbyterians, nor the Gates of Hell, that shall ever remove them, For the rage of man shall turn to the praise of God (as it is said in the 76. psalm.  
Are these the fruits of our Fasts, to fast for strife and debate, and to smite with the fist of wickedness? for even so it appears by those lying-railing-Pamphlets, which daily are suffered to come forth to make God's People odious: but that will never prevail; You call them Independents, but I think by their Profession and practices, we may judge them to be as chief Dependants, as any Presbyterian in the world. Brother take their Profession, according as I your Sister have taken it from their own mouths, That they depend first upon the great power of Heaven and Earth, upon the Father, Son and Holy Ghost for protection, the Word for their direction, life, and rule to walk in and by. Secondly, That they depend upon the civil Magistrate, and submit to all godly Civil laws. And good brother, give me leave to tell you, that Gideon's army had the exercise of their Tongues, as well as the use of their hands, see (Judges 6. and 7. and 8. And the Lord prospered them, and wrought a great deliverance for them. And therefore why should you envy at the lieutenant colonel or any other for preaching in the army. Have soldiers no souls? Surely I think the very worst of them have, as much as you have Conscience: But there is a God above all, and he is greater than all.  
Brother. The man of God was not seduced by wicked Jeroboam, but was deceived by a Prophet, that came to him with a lie in his mouth, as if it had been from the word of the Lord, (see 1 King. 13. 10.) So this our Parliament was not seduced by the wicked Prelates, and I pray, they may not be deceived by you, and those we call good men and Prophets of the Lord, that come with lies in their mouths (as it were) from the word of the Lord.  
Doctor Bastwick, surely your cause is bad, for a good cause will make the owner better, not worse. I should have wondered greatly at your great and painful labour so much (in your evil way) for our Brethren the Presbyterian Ministers, but that they themselves are so helpless (in thumpping the Pues and managing their business almost after your manner) that the most of them have scared away their Hearers: And it is not the sent of the Independents pissing and scomering (as you speak) in their Churches and Pulpits: And if you mean the Separates also, that is as gross a lie as to say The Independents can smell the good cheer out of England into other countries, For surely God never made men such long Noses, and the Separates never come near your Pues to trouble you.  
You say the Independents have demanded their money of you which they gave you, and that is false, some [of them] employed me several times, and I brought you three or four pounds at a time, which was never demanded, and many friends more did the like, beside myself. Brother I am sorry you have not remembered to be thankful, nor forgotten to lie. God's Children are Children that will not lie, So I rest, your Sister but no Independent. Therefore charge them not with my work. I have sent you but two Letters of my name, not for fear have I omitted them, but merely for modesty sake: for truly I am ashamed of my Masters teaching, dear Sir, If you happen to conjure for me, you shall never find me in a Bulls Hide, It may be you may in a Cowes.  
E., A. Allowed and licenced by me this October. 1645.  James 1. 26: If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his Tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's Religion is but vain. 
FJNIS.  
I have got great light, by England's birthright.