AESOP AT Epsom: Or, a few Select Fables In VERSE. By a Cit London: Printed for, and Sold by John Nut, near Stationers-Hall, 1698. To his Excellency Charles Montague Esq; one of the Lord Justices for the Administration of public Affairs during the King's absence, first Lord Commissioner of the Treasury, Chancellor of the Exchequer, and one of His Majesty's most Honourable Privy Council. SIR, THO' a Present of Fables to Your Excellency the inimitable Author of the COUNTRY MOUSE, and CITY-MOUSE, may at this time seem improper: Yet a Present of Loyalty to the same Government, which You have been so Studious and successful in the preservation of, cannot but carry its Acceptance with it. That Liberty which Your Excellency gave the World so sweet a t●st of in Your most incomparable Fable, and which afterwards You was so instrumental in continuing to us, is in part the Subject of these. And as Aesop at Tunbridge, by feigned and surreptitious Fables, seems to bewail the change of the late Gevernment, so Aesop at Epsom with real and genuine r●yoyceth at the Establishment of this. Sir, Your Excellency's great Example has such a prevailing influence, as to make the meanest Subject solicitous for the Public Good, and to see that Revolution become the subject of satire, which has given such opportunities for Panegyric, (and whose Royal Author has had such immortal Commendations from Your Excellency's the best of Pens) could not but add very much to my Resentments in the following Papers. But, Sir, to give no further interruption to a Gentleman whose very Leisure is employed for the public Safety, I shall not encroach upon Your time any further than to beg Your Acceptance of this poor Entertainment, which shall make me add to my Endeavours of approving myself in a more substantial way, Sir, Your Excellency's most Obedient Servant. AESOP AT Epsom. FAB. I. Of the Fox, and the Stork. A Subtle Fox well practised in design, Invites a Stork, that He with him will dine, A match, says Stork, Sir Reynard it's agreed, And home He goes, and much resolved to feed, Nothing will serve, but that He's sure the Beast Will soon repent He'd brought Him for a Guest, His Stomach was so empty, and so great, Zounds! He himself should finish all the treat. Fox smiles, and in his Cubs the Dinner bring, Soop, and Pottage, a Banquet for a King. Fall on, my guest, said Fox, and down he pour's The liquid Feast which He himself devours. Dear Stork, He cries, 'Slife Child, why dost not Peck, The Stork he Stretches, and extends his neck. But nothing can get up within His Bill, Whilst Reynard licks it up, and Eats his fill; At length perceiving how he had been served, He homeward Stalks, or He must else have Starved, But Mindful of the Fox his empty Treat, Sends to Invite Him to a dish of Meat. The Fox not thinking Storks had had the sense To mind affronts, or take the least offence, Took him at's word, and said, Sir Stork content, I'll see what House you keep, and Home wi'him went. The Table Spread, and every thing complete, That might put Fox in mind He was to eat: Two servant Storks upon the Table placed A Narrow long-necked Glass which held the Feast; Lampreys and Eels within it might be seen, The Glass was so transparent and so clean, When Stork, Sans ceremony, Sir, begin, You see your entertainment here within, I'll show the way; and in his Beak he thrust Whilst Reynard tried in vain, and trying cursed. Lord, said the Stork, are you a Beast of thought, And yet no Broth, or Soop, or Pottage brought? I'd even fetch some, and fill the Vessel up, You then, although You could not eat, might sup. MORAL. The Application soon is made By any that's a Reader, One in his turn the Fool has played, And whose turn's now consider: The Tunbridge Aesop first has given The Town a Dish of Meat, And faith, to make the Talli'es even, Epsom should also treat. FAB. II. Of the Lamb and the Wolf. A Wolf as He looked out for prey, And went in search of food, Perceived a Lamb and Goat in's way Come jogging on the Road. Mutton He loved, but did not dare Fasten on that He Spied, Whilst Hircus with his horns was there, And thus to part them tried. Home from this beast, for shame, Sir Lamb, It grieves my very Soul, To See You leave a Noble Dam, And walk with Goat so foul. A Goat! fie on't, the very worst Of all the Brutal Race; A Stinking Animal and cursed, The woods, and fields disgrace. Hark you, said Lamb, I plainly know Whom You Your tricks would put on, And what You mean by gaping so, Poor Wolf! he wants some Mutton. I thank you for th' Advice you lend, And wonder not you should Like me much better than my friend, Since I am better Food. MORAL. So when the Wars broke out at first, And France prepared for fight, Lord! how her Mighty Monarch cursed The Dutch and us uniting! Per Dieu, said he, the British Race Of Heroes once the chief Join with a Land so cursed Base, And ask of them relief! But had his aim successful been And us from them removed, We then the sad Effects had seen, And Fables moral proved. FAB. III. Of the Sun and the Northwind. BEtwixt the Sun and Wind, arose A quarrel like to end in blows If both of them had not rather chose A fitting Mediator: It seems that this contention grew From which was Strongest of the two And down their Wagers straight they threw Thus to decide the matter. By chance a Traveller came by, And both with one united cry, On Him let us our forces try To finish the dispute: He that the first a way could find To make him leave his Cloak behind Should win; it's done, agreed, said Wind, Said Sun, content, I'll do't. When Boreas summoned every blast, And at Him all his fury cast, But flinging round his Cloak, he passed And forwarded his journey: Sol smiles, and gathering all his Rays, Sure of the conquest and the Bays, I'll make You quit your Cloak, he says, Or else by God I'll burn ye. Strait Passenger began to sweary Enraged and troubled with the heat, And in a most confounded Pett, At last fling off the Garment Boreas, said Sol, See yonder Cloak, The Wagers Won and Thou art broke, And up in haste The Stakes He took, And that was all the harm in't. MORAL. Thus blustering Kings like Boreas often fail; Whilst others like the Conquering Sun prevail: Numbers may fright, and dismal fancies raise, But what can Numbers in improper ways? Whilst at Compeign Extended armies Shine, And France her infant Princes fight, and dine, Whilst Boufflers treats the Ladies with a Song, And Duke de Berry learns the Spanish Tongue, A Prince at Cell, who Seemingly appears Thoughtless of Arms since now released from Wars: Amidst his Sports, shall fit Expedients find To cheat the dangers by their Arms designed, And one poor Hunting Match perhaps may break The Measures which their famed Encampments take. FAB. iv Of the Trumpeter. A Trumpeter in time of War Was in the Battle taken; And Dead almost with very fear, Tried thus to save his Bacon. Dear Sirs, if guiltless Actions save, Or Innocence secures, From you the grant of Life I crave, Who ne'er endangered yours. Nor Sword, nor Musket have I born, Or any other Weapon worn Than what is in my hand: This Trumpet never gave a wound, Or uttered any thing but empty sound, And that too by command. Off with the Dog, and fetch the Rope, Said Enemy, and tie Him up, A Villain! never spare him. Zounds! That same Instrument is worse Than Sword, and Gun, and every Curse; And 've most cause to fear him, Since from his blasts, those wounds at first proceed, By which so many Thousands of us bleed. MORAL. So cries an Author who has spent his spleen, What harm can silly Fables mean? Or how can Faction takes its birth, From a few Tales, and unprovoking Mirth? They may perhaps delight, But rest assured they'll never fight, The Beasts I treat of cannot plot Or traffic in Sedition: what of that? When if he railed like O— 'tis, like S— fought, Cursed like a Man at Sam's's, like M— thought, All joined together ne'er was able To show the malice of one single Fable. FAB. V Of the Apple and the Horse-Turd. AN Apple falling from a Tree Which near a River stood, With Horse-Turd in his Company Was sailing down the Flood. When Turd ambitious to discourse A thing so much above it, Would into Conversation force As down the River drove it. Lord! Madam, what a pleasant Stream Is this in which we ride? Sister! How we two Apples swim? The foul Sirrev'rence cried. MORAL. A Threadbare Writer who per chance Has not one Farthing paid, To carry on the War with France, Towards the Royal Aid. Cries, Damn this cursed confounded Peace, It Forty Millions cost, And we could not procure our Ease Till All our Wealth was lost. FAB. VI Of the Covetous, and the Envious Man. TWO men to Jove their prayers made For some kind Earthly blessing, One never satisfied with what he had, Tho' rich beyond Expressing. Th' other was envious, nor cared What mischief e'er befell Him, So that His Comrade was not Spared, And what should kill Him, kill him: Jove Teaz'd with their Petitions, sent His Son Apollo to 'em, To try to give 'em both content, And know what service He could do 'em. Ask, said Apollo, friends what e'er You want th'out further trouble, And what is asked from either's prayer TO other Shall have it double. With that, the parsimonious Cuff, For Wealth did loudly call, Which downward fell, but ne'er enough For his desires could fall. Still as he asked, the Riches came, And doubled on the other, Tho' Still his prayer was the same Which Still enriched his Brother, Next in his turn, Sir Envy kneeled, And with a bale-ful Eye, Dear Phoebus to my prayer yield And Harken to my cry, Now oh! just now thou Power divine This favour let me find, Put out this single Eye of mine, That his may both be blind▪ FAB. VII. Of the Beaver, and the Hunters. A Beaver being close pursued By Hunters, Horse, and Hounds; And neither safe, within the Wood Nor in the open Grounds ‛ I know full well (and stepped aside) ‛ The reasons why I'm chased, he cried, ‛ And much lament the Cause, ‛ My Stones are what they want, and I ‛ Must either part with them, or die ‛ And glut the Beagles jaws: With that, though he was loath to part With things as precious as his heart, Or with a quiet mind Surrender up the pride of all his kind, Yet life was sweet, and uttering forth some groans, Off went his dear beloved Stones, Which in the Hunter's way The Melancholy beast did lay, Call in the Hounds, the fierce pursuers said, 've caught the game, and have our markets made; And taking up the Prize they went All homeward with content. Whilst the Enervate beast returned, To graze in quiet on the plain: And never after this misfortune mourned, Or fled from Hunters or from Hounds again. MORAL. If a certain great Prince, had but done as this Beast, And instead of each Stone gotten rid of each Priest, He had still been a King, whom his People had blessed. But since He had rather keep in with Ned Petre And likes Friars, and Monks for his company fit: Let him now keep his Stones, for there's none but has better. FAB. VIII. The Lion and the Fox. A Fox, a Lion's Chaplain, when The Beasts began to cry, And gather round their Monarch's Den For Ancient Liberty; Said, may it please my sovereign Lord, Your Subjects are your Slaves, And if they dare to Speak a word, Your Throat may be their Graves. With that the Monarch Wisely smiled At good Sir Crapes advice, And said, go fetch your youngest child, My Stomach's something nice. Sir, said the Fox, You're in the wrong, I must your pardon crave, Parson's alone to Jove belong, And no Controulers have. MORAL. So in late times the pulpits rung, With passive non resistance, And all the burden of their song Was Duty and Assistance: Life, Wealth, and every thing was due To Him, who o'er us ruled, And Whilst that Cant they would pursue, Weed All of's Even been fooled, Had not their Church's Lands been thought Belonging to the Throne: And made 'em change their former note, And what they, said disown. FAB. IX. Of Jupiter, and the Monkey. JOVE was desirous once to know What Animal did bear The handsomest offspring, or could show A little one most fair. He summoned every living thing Unto a certain place, To come before him, and to bring A Pattern of its Race. Forthwith each female creature came, Which Air, or Sea, or Earth, Can for its proper Tenant claim, And each produced a Sample of its birth. When as the Powerful God was just Deciding the dispute, Up to the Throne a Monkey thrust, A most deformed Brute! And with her Young one in her hand (Whilst All the company smiled) ‛ Vouchsafe great Jove to understand ‛ Mine is the Finest child: ‛ Please you my Liege to view this face, ‛ How regular and sweet! ‛ How well proportioned every grace! ‛ And how exact the features meet! ‛ Surely my Lord can ne'er refuse ‛ My Child and Me the Bays. When Jove for laughing could not choose: And all of 'em went their ways. MORAL. So young Aesop from Bath, or Old Aesop from Whitehall, May amuse Town, and Country with a fabulous recital, And in love with themselves think their own things the best, Whilst the Clergy, they laugh at, escape the dull Jest: And all the success of each Fable and story Is to lay down their own faults like the Monkey before ye. FAB. X. Of the Hares, and the Frogs. A Time was fixed when Hares should meet, And for dispatch of Business sit, Without the least delays, To remedy their present State, Or else anticipate their Fate By proper means and ways. Straight every Puss the Form forsook, Which He or She for shelter took, And hastened to the place Which by appointment was designed, To heal the mischiefs of their Kind, Or make extinct their Race. The SPEAKER chose, and Members placed, The House resolved itself at last Into a grand Committee: But what a pother, Lord! they kept? One sighed, another trembling wept, 'Twould move us all to pity. At length a Chief of high Renown, And Ranger of some mighty Down, First asked the House's leave: And then stood up, whilst all the rest With sorrows, and with grief oppressed Can nothing else but grieve. ‛ Brethren, said he, a wretched Race, ‛ Whom Men, and Dogs, and eagle's chase, ‛ The Sport of the Creation, ‛ In vain we're thinking to redress Our Grievances, or make 'em less, ‛ While in this living Station. ‛ Hounds will for ever be pursuing, ‛ And Hunter's meditating ruin, ‛ Whilst we must still be flying; ‛ we'd better (Friends) if I might give ‛ Advice, this moment cease to live, ‛ Than always be a dying. Tho' Death is not a thing which suits With constitutions of such Brutes As Hares are of, 'tis certain: Yet they resolved, with much ado, To bid the Groves, and Hills adieu, Tho' not ' thou't tears at parting. By chance there was a River near The place, where these Assemblers were Debating how to die, Wherefore to put off all delays, They fixed in that to end their days The sooner, 'cause so nigh. But Lord! how Puss would backward shrink, When almost at the very brink, And sigh she was so near! Then tell her Beads, and wish some Saint Would help her from this damned restraint, And ease her of her fear! At last the leading Hares were come, Prepared and ready for their Doom, And at the Flood arriving, A Frog or two into it skip'd, Which made 'em look before they leaped, And think of longer living. ‛ Hark ye, (said Puss who bore the sway) ‛ Fair and softly wins the Day, ‛ There's no such need to die yet, ‛ I'll Home again, and even submit To what my Destiny thinks fit, ‛ And keep my Form in quiet. 'Troth Sirs, the fate of Frogs is worse ‛ Than ours, which we at present curse, ‛ And are so much afraid at: ‛ For we who fear most things beside ‛ Are feared by them, and that's my Pride ‛ Since these are us dismayed at. ‛ Sirs, it would be a pretty Jest ‛ If since our life is not the best ‛ It should be made our loathing. I'faith, tho' I cannot be the Chief, ‛ I have this comfort and relief, ‛ I'm better far than nothing. MORAL. Hence let the Malcontented mind Instructive Lessons draw; Nor be uneasy, when confined Within the bounds of Law. What tho' his Purse is something drained, For Peace he ne'er desired, And has in part that Prince maintained Who might have all required? A Neighbouring King's best Subjects paid Thrice more than William's worst, And without Money Laws obeyed, When His with Money cursed. If therefore He like Hare should grieve Since small respect we show Him, Like Hare in Fable let Him live, Since He has Frogs below Him. FINIS.