Aesop at Westminster, OR, A Tale of the jackdaws.  

A Cook, who once, had for his Guest,  
Prepared a great and noble Feast:  
Consisting (not to Name each Dish)  
Of Pies, and Puddings, Fowls and Fish;  
Ragou's, and Dainties, Boiled and Roast,  
To Treat 'em (at the Public Cost.)  
But that's not much, Sirs, to the purpose,  
I think to tell you of the Stir first:  
Which from their private Clamour risen,  
'Tis well they did'nt fall to Blows:)  
For now, as they already stood,  
The Dresser on, in reaking Mood;  
Just fit to be served up to Table,  
There suddenly arose a Squabble.  
Each for Precedence held Contest,  
Which as the ancient'st Dish and Best.   

Plumbpudding with the Plain fell out,  
And for his Birthright stood up stout;  
He said he was more Famed than he,  
And claimed his ancient Dignity.  
The Beef and Carrots that stood next,  
Was with his Neighbour's Mutton vexed.  
To think he durst aspire so high,  
With him to vie Precedency:  
I am, as 'tis well known, says he,  
The Type of Hospitality.  
In ancient Rolls preferred I've stood,  
E'er since the Days of Noah's Flood:  
Whilst noblest Feasts I still do grace,  
And for the King of Dishes pass.  
Calves-Aead and Bacon, said he knew.  
Some that deserved Precedence too:  
And i● most humble sort explained,  
When he the Prince of Dishes reigned:  
Hoping again to have his Station.  
For that some learned Cook's o'th' Nation,  
Would take't into Consideration.  
At which Scotch Scollops ' gain to Jump,  
And whispered to his Neighbour Rump;  
saying some such Thing indeed may be▪  
If Beef and Pudding disagree,  
'Twill make good Times for you and me.  
Ragou's, and Frigasies, to Words,  
Fell with the Snipes and other Birds;  
The Woodcock, Partridge, Duck and Teal,  
The Lamb and Venison, with the Veal.  
Nay; this dangerous Tumult went yet farther,  
The Tarts and Cheesecakes in the Larder;  
The Jellies, Sweetmeats, Custard, Flawn.  
Were by this time at Daggers Drawn.  
So that it seemed to Men of Sense,  
To be of dan'rous Consequence.  
The Cook by this Time coming in,  
Both Fire-hot, and with the Spleen,  
Did to these Mutineers begin.   

Are you not all d— d Fools, says he,  
〈◊〉 ●rangle thus and disagree:  
〈◊〉 nothing, so to make a Splutter.  
And you must all be served to th' Board,  
That who goes first, or's first devoured,  
Does hardly signify a T— d;  
Only that Custom, (which I try will)  
May be preserved, it shall be as I will.  
But first I'll tell ye, Sirs, a Story,  
Agreeing with the Case before me.   

The Tale of the Jackdaws.  
WHen Birds and Beasts, as I have heard,  
Fell out, and on each other Warred:  
That dubious 'twas with which to Side,  
But wisely to run with the Tide.  
Jack-Daw, who built on Steeples top  
His Nest, and there had been brought up:  
Once perched upon the Pinnacle,  
And there to Preaching went Pell-Mell:  
To the whole Parish loudly calling,  
as if the Steeple had been falling.  
At which the Vestry be●eg raised,  
Some cursed the Jack-Daw, others praised.  
And while they were debating, how  
To punish him by course of Law;  
His cawing Brethren gathered sound,  
As if they would to Battle sound;  
And bid them touch him for their Ears,  
They ought to try him by his P— s.  
For that it being Ecclesiastic,  
They thought themselves were for the Case fit.  
A late Churchwarden too, whn bore  
The Daw, a kindness heretofore,  
Mov, d one sage Point, which if adhered to,  
And brought him off both fair and clear to:  
But all in vain they called 'em Faols,  
Nor would departed from ancient Rules.  
From whence I do this Inference draw,  
I'll make my Will here pass for Law:  
So calling to the Waiters, they  
Even served 'em up the ancient way.   

MORAL.  
THus each might his own Merit boast,  
But 'twas the Cook that ruled the Roast.  
When Fools falls out they know not why,  
And higher than their Reason fly:  
Pretend for Rules to give their Sense,  
Of Doctrine, and of Governments.  
'Tis just as wise as when the Meat,  
Which then was going to be Eat,  
Began to Mutiny and Prate.  
When all they said to take the whole  
The Cook did one Breath control.  
So they who dare the H— upbraid,  
And blame 'em for Impeachments laid:  
Prescribe 'em Methods to Chastise,  
In every Point are just as Wise,  
And for the Burden of their Songs,  
Might even as well too hold their Tongues.   
FINIS.