THE FAIR maid OF THE inn.  

Actus primus.  

Scaena prima.  Enter Caesario, and Clarissa. Cesario. 
INterpret not Clarissa, my true zeal  
in giving you council, to transcend the bounds  
That should confine a brother; 'tis your honour,  
And peace of mind (which honour last will leave you)  
I labour to preserve, and though you yet are  
Pure and untainted, and resolve to be so:  
Having a Father's eye, and Mother's care  
In all your ways to keep you fair, and upright.  
In which respects my best advices must  
Appear superfluous; yet since love dear sister  
Will sometimes tender things unnecessary,  
Misconstrue not my purpose.  Claris. 
Sir, I dare not:  
But still receive it as a large addition,  
To the much that I already stand engaged for,  
Yet pardon me, though I profess upon  
A true examination of myself,  
Even to my private thoughts I cannot find  
(Having such strong supporters to uphold me)  
On what slight ground the least doubt can be raised  
To render me suspected I can fall,  
Or from my fame or virtue.  Caesar. 
Far be it from me,  
To nourish such a thought; and yet excuse me,  
As you would do a lapidary, whose whole fortunes  
Depend upon the safety of one jewel  
If he think no case precious enough  
To keep it in full lustre nor no locks,  
Though lending strength to Iron doors sufficient  
To guard it, and secure him; you to me are  
A Gem of more esteem, and prized higher  
Than Usurers do their muck, or great men title.  
And any flaw (which heaven avert) in you,  
(Whose reputation like a Diamond  
Cut newly from the rock, women with envy,  
And men with covetous desires look up at)  
By prying eyes discovered, in a moment  
Would render what the braveries of Florence  
For want of counterpoise, forbear to cheapen,  
Of little or no value.  Claris. 
I see brother.  
The mark you shoot at, and much thank your love;  
But for my Virgin jewel which is brought  
In comparison with your Diamond, rest assured  
It shall not fall in such a workman's hands  
Whose Ignorance or Malice shall have power  
To cast one cloud upon it, but still keep  
Her native splendour.  Cesario. 
'tis well, I commend you;  
And study your advancement with that care  
As I would do a sister's, whom I love  
With more than common order.  Claris. 
That from me,  
I hope's returned to you.  Cesario. 
I do confess it,  
Yet let me tell you (but still with that love,  
I wish to increase between us) that you are  
Observed against the gravity long maintained  
In Italy (where to see a maid unmasked  
Is held a blemish) to be over frequent  
In giving or receiving visits.  Clari. 
How?  Cesar. 
Whereas the custom is here to woo by picture,  
And never see the substance: you are fair,  
And beauty draws temptations on; You know it,  
I would not live to say a willing grant  
From you to one unworthy of your birth,  
Feature or fortune; yet there have been Ladies  
Of rank, proportion, and of means beyond you,  
That have proved this no miracle.  Claris. 
One unworthy?  
Why pray you gentle brother, who are they That I vouchsafe these bounties to? I hope  
In your strict Criticism of me, and my manners,  
That you will not deny they are your equals.  Cesar. 
Angry?  Claris, 
I have reason, but in cold blood tell me,  
Had we not one Father?  Cesar, 
Yes, and Mother to.  Claris. 
And he a Soldier.  Cesar. 
True;  Claris. 
If I then borrow  
A little of the boldness of his temper,  
Imparting it to such as may deserve it;  
( howe'er indulgent to yourselves, you brothers  
Allow no part of freedom to your sisters)  
I hope 'twill not pass for a crime in me,  
To grant access and speech to noble suitors;  
And you escape for innocent, that descend  
To a thing so far beneath you. Are you touched?  
Why did you think that you had Gyges' ring,  
Or the herb that gives invisibility?  
Or that Biancha's name had ne'er been mentioned;  
The fair maid of the grand Osteria brother.  Caesario. 
No more.  Claris. 
A little brother. Your night walks,  
And offered presents; which coy she contemned,  
Your combats in disguises with your rivals,  
Brave Muleteers. Scullions perfumed with grease,  
And such as cry meat for Cats must be remembered;  
And all this pother for a common trull,  
A tempting sign, and curiously set forth,  
To draw in riotous guests, a thing exposed  
To every Ruffians rude assault; and subject  
For a poor salary, to a rich man's lust,  
Though made up of diseases.  Caesar. 
Will you end yet?  Claris. 
And this a Mistress for Albertus son,  
One that I should call sister?  Caesar. 
Part not with  
Your modesty in this violent heat; the truth is,  
(For you shall be my Confessor) I love her,  
But virtuously; report that gives her out  
Only for fair, and adds not she is chaste,  
Detracts much from her: for indeed she is,  
Though of a low condition; composed  
Of all those graces, dames of highest birth,  
Though rich in nature's bounties, should be proud of;  
But leave her, and to you my nearest care,  
My dearest best Clarissa. Do not think  
(For then you wrong me) I wish you should live  
A barren Virgin life; I rather aim at  
A noble husband, that may make you mother  
Of many children, one that when I know him  
Worth your embraces, I may serve, and sue to:  
And therefore scorn not to acquaint me with  
That man, that happy man; you please to favour.  Claris. 
I ever purposed it, for I will like  
With your allowance:  Cesar. 
As a pawn of this;  
Receive this ring, but ere you part with it  
On any terms, be certain of your choice;  
And make it known to me.  Enter Servants with lights, Alberto, Baptista, Mariana, Mentivole. Claris. 
You have my hand for't;  Cesar. 
Which were it not my sisters, I should kiss  
With too much heat.  Claris. 
My Father, and his guest's Sir.  Alber. 
O my old friend, my tried friend; my Baptista:  
These days of rest, and feasting, suit not with  
Our tougher natures, those were golden ones,  
Which were enjoyed at Sea; that's our true Mother:  
The Land's to us a stepdame; there we sought  
Honour, and wealth through dangers; yet those dangers  
Delighted more than their rewards, though great ones,  
And worth the undertakers: here we study  
The Kitchen arts, to sharpen appetite,  
dulled with abundance, and dispute with Heaven;  
If that the least puff of the rough Northwind,  
Blast our times burden, rendering to our Palates  
The charming juice less pleasing; whereas there  
If we had biscuit, powdered flesh, fresh water:  
We thought them Persian delicates, and for music  
If a strong gale but made the main yard crack,  
We danced to the loud minstrel.  Baptist. 
And feared less,  
(So far we were in love with noble action)  
A tempest than a calm.  Alber. 
'tis true Baptista;  
There, there, from mutual aids lent to each other,  
And virtuous emulation to exceed  
In manly daring, the true school of friendship,  
We learned those principles, which confirmed us friends  
Never to be forgot.  Baptist. 
Never I hope.  Albor. 
We were married there, for bells the roaring Cannon,  
A loud proclaimed it lawful, and a prize  
Then newly ta'en and equally divided,  
Served as a dowry to you, then styled my wife;  
And did enable me to be a husband,  
Fit to encounter so much wealth though got  
With blood and horror.  Maria. 
If so got, 'tis fit Sir  
Now you possess it, that you should enjoy it  
In peace, and quiet; ay, your son, and daughter  
That reap the harvest of your winter's labour,  
Though debtors for it yet have often trembled,  
When in way of discourse, you have related  
How you came by it.  Alber. 
Trembled? how the softness  
Of your sex may excuse you, I'll not argue,  
But to the world, howe'er I hold thee noble  
I should proclaim this boy some coward's bastard,  
And not the Image of Albertus youth:  
If when some wished occasion calls him forth,  
To a brave trial, one weak artery  
Of his should show a fever, though grim death  
Put on a thousand dreadful shapes to fright him;  
The Elements, the sea and all the winds  
We number on our compass, then conspiring  
To make the Scene more ghastly; I must have thee  
Sirrah, I must. If once you grapple with  
An enemy's ship, to board her, though you see  
The desperate Gunner ready to give fire,  
And blow the deck up, or like Caesar's Soldier  
Thy hands like his cut off, hang by the teeth,  
And die undaunted.  Maria. 
I even die to hear you:  
My son, my loved Cesario run such hazards?  
Blessed Saints forbid it: you have done enough  
Already for one family, that rude way;  
I'll keep him safe at home, and train him up  
A complete Courtier: may I live to see him,  
By sweet discourse, and gracious demeanour,  
Win, and bring home a fair wife, and a rich;  
'tis all I rest ambitious of.  Alber. 
A Wife!  
As if there were a course to purchase one  
Prevailing more than honourable action?  
Or any Intercessors move so far,  
To take a Mistress of a noble spirit,  
As the true fame of glorious victories,  
Achieved by sweat and blood! o the brave dames  
Of warlike Genoa! they had eyes to see  
The inward man, and only from his worth,  
Courage, and conquests: the blind Archer knew  
To head his shafts, or light his quenched torch,  
They were proof against them else.  
No Carpet Knight  
That spent his youth in groves, or pleasant bowers;  
Or stretching on a Couch his lazy limbs,  
Sung to his Lute such soft and melting notes,  
As Ovid, nor Anacreon ever knew,  
Could work on them, nor once bewitch their sense;  
Though he came so perfumed as he had robbed  
Sabaea, or Arabia, of their wealth;  
And stored it in one suit:  
I still remember,  
And still remember it with joy Baptista,  
When from the resceu of the Genoa fleet,  
Almost surprised by the Venetian Galleys,  
Thou didst return, and wert received in triumph.  
How lovely in thy honoured wounds and scars  
Thou didst appear? what worlds of amorous glances  
The beauties of the City (where they stood,  
Fixed like so many of the fairest stars)  
Shot from their windows at thee? how it fired  
Their bloods to see the Enemies captive streams  
Borne through the streets? nor could chaste Juliana  
The Duke's fair Niece, though guarded with their greatness  
Resist this gallant charge, but laying by  
Disparity of fortune from the object,  
Yielded herself thy prisoner.  Bap. 
Pray you choose some other theme.  Mari. 
Can there be one more pleasing?  Bap. 
That triumph drew on me a greater torture,  
And 'tis in the remembrance little less  
Than ever Captive suffered.  Mari. 
How? to gain the favour of so great a Lady?  Bap. 
Yes, since it proved fatal, t'have been happy Madam  
Adds to calamity, nad the heavy loss  
Of her I durst not hope for once enjoyed,  
Turns what you think a blessing to a curse,  
Which grief would have forgotten.  Alber. 
I am sorry I touched upon it.  Maria. 
I burn rather Sir,  
With a desire to hear the story of  
your loves, and shall receive it as a favour,  
Which you may grant.  Bap. 
You must not be denied,  
Yet with all brevity I must report it;  
'tis true fair juliana (Genoa's pride)  
enamoured of my actions, liked my person;  
Nor could I but with joy meet her affection;  
Since it was lawful, for my first wife dead;  
We were closely married, and for some few months  
Tasted the fruits of't; but malicious fate,  
Envying our too much happiness, wrought upon  
A faithless servant, privy to our plot,  
And Cabinet Councillor to Juliana,  
Who either for hope or reward, or fear,  
Discovered us to the incensed Duke:  
Whose rage made her close prisoner, and pronounced  
On me perpetual banishment: some three years  
I wandered on the Seas, since entertained  
By the great Duke of Florence; but what fate  
Attended her? or Prospero my friend,  
That stayed at Genoa, to expect the issue,  
Is yet uncertain. Enter a Gentleman.  Alber. 
From the Duke:  Bap. 
he's welcome, to end my forced relation.  Alber. 
Signior Baptista;  
The great Dukes will commands your present ear.  Gent. 
It points indeed at both of you;  Bap. 
I wait it.  Alber. 
In Mariana, to your rest.  Bap. 
Nay leave us, we must be private.  Maria. 
Stay not long Caesario:  — Exeunt. Manet Caesario, Mentivole. Mentivo. 
So these old men vanished 'tis allowed,  
That we may speak, and howsoe'er they take  
Delight in the discourse of former dangers,  
It cannot hinder us to treat a little  
Of present pleasures.  Caesario. 
Which if we well enjoyed,  
Will not alone continue, but increase  
In us their friendship.  Ment. 
How shall we spend the night?  
To snore it out like drunken Dutchmen, would  
Sort ill with us Italians. We are made  
Of other metal, fiery, quick, and active;  
Shall we take our fortune? and while our cold fathers  
(In whom long since our youthful heats were dead,)  
Talk much of Mars, serve under Venus' Ensigns,  
And seek a Mistress?  Caesar. 
That's a game dear friend,  
That does admit no rivaled in chase of it,  
And either to be undertook alone,  
Or not to be attempted.  Ment. 
I'll not press you:  
What other sports to entertain the time with  
The following morning?  Caesar. 
Any that may become us.  Menti. 
Is the Neapolitan horse the Viceroy sent you,  
In a fit plight to run?  Caesar. 
So my Groom tells me,  
I can boast little of my horsemanship;  
Yet upon his assurance, I dare wager  
A thousand Crowns, 'against any horse in Florence,  
For an eight mile course.  Menti. 
I would not win of you,  
In respect you are impatient of loss:  
Else I durst match him with my Barbary  
For twice the sum.  Caesar. 
You do well to excuse it, being certain to be beaten.  Menti. 
Tush. You know the contrary.  Cesar. 
To end the controversy.  
Put it to trial, by my life I'll meet you  Enter Clarissa. 
With the next rising sun.  Menti. 
A match. But here  
Appears a Cynthian, that scorns to borrow  
A beam of light from the great eye of Heaven:  
She being herself all brightness; how I envy  
Those amorous smiles, those kisses, but sure chaste ones  
Which she vouchsafes her brother?  Claris. 
You are wanton:  
Pray you think me not Biancha, leave I pray you;  
My Mother will not sleep before she see you,  
And since you know her tenderness, nay fondness;  
In every circumstance that concerns your safety,  
You are not equal to her.  Cesar. 
I must leave you, but will not fail to meet you.  Menti. 
Soft sleeps to you.  Within Mariana: 
Cesario.  Claris. 
You are called again.  Cesar. 
Some sons  
Complain of too much rigor in their Mothers;  
I of too much indulgence; you will follow. — Exit.  Claris. 
You are her first care, therefore lead the way.  Ment. 
She stays: blessed opportunity, she stays?  
As she invited conference, she was ever  
Noble, and free; but thus to tempt my frailty,  
Argues a yielding in her; or contempt  
Of all that I dare offer; stand I now  
Consulting? No, I'll put it home.  Claris. 
Who waits there? more lights.  Menti. 
You need them not, they are as useless,  
As at noonday; can there be darkness, where  
Nature then wisely liberal, vouchsafed  
To lend two Suns.  Claris. 
Hyperboles:  Menti. 
No, truths.  
truth's beauteous virgin, so my lovesick heart  
Assures me, and my understanding tells me  
I must approach them wisely, should I rashly  
Press near their scorching beams, they would consume me  
And on the contrary should your disdain  
Keep me at too much distance, and I want  
Their comfortable heat, the frost of death  
Would seize on all my faculties.  Cla. 
Pray you pause sir.  
This vehemency of discourse must else needs tire you.  
These gay words take not me, 'tis simple faith  
Honest integrity, and lawful flames  
I am delighted with:  Ment. 
Such I bring with me, and therefore Lady,  Cla. 
But that you took me off  
Ere I came to a period. I had added  
A long experience must be required  
Both of his faith and trust with whom a virgin  
Trafficks for what's dearest in this life,  
Her liberty, and honour; I confess  
I oft have viewed you with an eye of favour,  
And with your generous parts the many tenders  
Of doing me all fair offices, have won  
A good opinion from me.  Ment. 
Oh speak ever, I never heard such music;  
Clae, a Plain tune sir:  
But 'tis a hearty one; when I perceive  
By evident proofs, your aims are truly noble,  
And that you bring the Engines of fair love,  
Not of foul lust, to shake and undermine  
My maiden fortress: I may then make good  
What now I dare not promise.  Ment. 
You already  
In taking notice of my poor deservings,  
Have been magnificent, and 'twill appear  
A frontless Impudence to ask beyond this,  
Yet qualify, though not excuse my error,  
Though now I am ambitious to desire  
A confirmation of it.  Cla. 
So it wrong not my modesty to grant it,  Ment. 
'tis far from me,  
I only am a suitor, you would grace me  
With some toy, but made rich in that you wore it,  
To warrant to the world that I usurp not  
When I presume to style myself your servant,  
A ribbon from your shoe,  Cla. 
You are too humble,  
I'll think upon't; and something of more value  
Shall witness how I prize you, it grows late,  
I'll bring you to the door,  Ment. 
You still more bind me, — Exeunt  Ent. Duke of Florence, Alberto: Baptista: Magistrates, And Attendants. Duke. 
YOU find by this assured intelligence  
The preparation of the Turk against us.  
We have met him oft and beat him; now to fear him  
Would argue want of courage, and I hold it  
A safer policy for us and our signories  
To charge him in his passage o'er the sea'  
Then to expect him here.  Alb. 
May it please your highness  
Since you vouchsafe to think me worthy of  
This great employment, if I may deliver  
My judgement freely, 'tis not flattery  
Though I say my opinion waits on you,  
Nor would I give my suffrage and consent  
To what you have proposed, but that I know it  
Worth the great speaker, though that the denial  
Called on your heavy anger. For myself  
I do profess thus much, if a blunt Soldier,  
May borrow so much from the old tongued Courtier,  
(That echoes whatsoe'er the Prince allows of)  
All that my long experience hath taught me  
That have spent three parts of my life at sea,  
(Let it not taste of arrogance that I say it)  
Could not have added reasons of more wait  
To fortify your affections, than such  
As your grace out of observation merely  
Already have propounded.  Bap. 
With the honour to give the daring enemy an affront  
In being the first opposer it will teach  
Your Soldiers boldness: and strike fear in them  
That durst attempt you.  1. Magi. 
Victuals and ammunition,  
And money too the sinews of the war, are stored up in the Magazine.  2. Magi. 
And the galleys new rigged and trained up.  
And at two days' warning fit for the service.  Duke. 
We commend your care,  
Nor will we ere be wanting in Our counsels,  
As we doubt not your action; you Baptista  
Shall stay with us; that Merchant is not wise  
That ventures his whole fortunes in one bottom.  Albert. 
Be our Admiral, spare your thanks,  
His merit in you that invites this honour,  
Preserve it such; ere long you shall hear more,  
Things rashly undertaken end as ill,  
But great acts thrive when reason guides the will.  — Exeunt Enter 3. Gentlemen. 1. 
No question 'twas not well done in Caesario  
To cross the horse of young Mentivole.  
In the midst of this course.  2. 
That was not all, the switching him dulled him,  3. 
Would that both the jades  
Had broke their necks, when they first started; light,  
We stand here prating, give them leave to whisper.  
And when they have cut one another's throats  Enter Mentivole, and Cesario. 
Make in to part 'em.  2. 
There is no such hazard,  
Their father's friendship, and their love forbid it;  
See where they come!  1. 
With fury in their looks.  Ment. 
You have the wages, with what foul play got  
I'll not dispute:  Caesar. 
Foul play,  Ment. 
I cannot speak it  
In a fairer language, and if some respects  
Familiar to myself chained not my tongue,  
I should say no more. I should, but I'll sit down,  
With this disgrace; howe'er press me no farther.  
For if once more provoked, you'll understand  
I dare no more suffer an Injury  
Than I dare do one,  Caesar. 
Why sir are you injured  
In that I take my right which I would force,  
Should you detain it?  Ment. 
Put it to judgement.  Caesar. 
No my will in this shall carry it,  Ment. 
Your will? nay farewell softness then. they suddenly draw  3. 
This I foresaw,  2. 
Hold hold,  Caesar: 
I am hurt  2. 
Shift for yourself, 'tis death.  Ment. 
As you respect me, bear him off with care,  
If he miscarry since he did the wrong,  
I'll stand the shock of't.  2. 
Gently, he will faint else — Exeunt. Gent. with Caesario  Ment. 
And speedily I beseech you; my rage over  
That poured upon my reason clouds of error,  
I see my folly, and at what dear loss  
I have exchanged a real innocence  
To gain a mere fantastical report,  
Transported only by vain popular wind,  
To be a daring nay fool hardy man. Ent. Baptista.  
But could I satisfy myself within here,  
How should I bear my father's frown? They meet me,  
My guilt conjures him hither.  Bap. 
Sirrah:  Mentiv. 
Sir:  Bap. 
I have met the trophies of your ruffian sword:  
Was there no other Anvil to make trial  
How far thou durst be wicked, but the bosom  
Of him which under the adulterate name  
Of friendship thou hast murder?  Ment. 
Murdered sir?  
My dreams abhor so base a fact; true valour  
Employed to keep my reputation fair  
from the austerest judge, can never merit  
To be branded with that title; you begot me  
A man, no coward; and but call your youth  
To memory, when injured you could never  
Boast of the ass's fortitude, slave-like patience:  
And you might justly doubt I were your son,  
If I should entertain it; if Caesario  
Recover, as I hope his wound's not mortal,  
A second trial of what I dare do  
In a just cause, shall give strong witness for me  
I am the true heir to Baptista's courage  
As to his other fortunes.  Baptist. 
Boy, to neither:  
But on this strict condition, Which intreaties  
From Saints, nay Angels, shall not make me alter.  
A friendship so began, and so continued  
Between me and Alberto my best friend,  
Your brawls shall not dissolve; it is my will  
And as I am thy father, I command thee,  
That instantly on any terms how poor  
soe'er it skill not, thou desire his pardon  
And bring assurance to me has signed it,  
Or by my father's soul I'll never know thee:  
But as a stranger to my blood; perform it,  
And suddenly without reply, I have said it.  Ment. 
And in it given a heavier sentence on me  
Then the most cruel death; you are my father  
And your will to be served, and not disputed  
By me that am your son: but I'll obey,  
And though my heart strings crack for't, make it known,  
When you command, my faculties are your own. Exeunt    

Actus secundus.  

Scaena prima.  Enter Alberto, Physician, and a Chirurgeon. Phys 
HAve patience, Noble Sir; your son Caesario  
Will recover without question.  Surgeon. 
A slight wound.  
Though it pierced his body, it hath missed the vitals.  Phys. 
My life for't, he shall take the air again within these 10. days.  Alber. 
O but from a friend,  
To receive this bloody measure from a friend!  
If that a man should meet a violent death  
In a place where he had taken sanctuary,  
Would it not grieve him? such all Florence held  
Their friendship, and 'tis that which multiplies  
The injury.  Physi. 
Have patience worthy Signior.  Alber. 
I do protest as I am man and soldier,  
If I had buried him in a wave at sea,  
(Lost in some honourable action)  
I would not to the saltness of his grave  
Have added the least tear; but these quarrels  Enter Mariana, and Clarissa. 
Bred out of game and wine, I had as lief  
He should have died of a surfeit.  Maria. 
Oh what comfort? How is it with our son Sir?  Alber. 
His Workmasters  
Bear in my hand here as my Lawyer does,  
When I have a cracked title, or bad suit in Law,  
All shall go well.  Maria. 
I pray you Gentl. what think you of his wound  Physi. 
'tis but a scratch, nothing to danger.  Claris. 
But he received it from a friend,  
And the unkindness ta'en at that, may kill him.  Mari. 
Let me see him:  Physi. 
By no means, he slumbers.  Mari. 
Then I cannot believe you,  
When you tell me there's hope of him.  Alber. 
Yet many Ladies  
Do give him more faith to their Physician  
Then to their Confessor.  Claris. 
O my poor lost brother,  
And friend more dear than brother.  Alber. 
More loud instruments  
To disturb his slumbers! go, go, take caroche:  
And as you love me, you and the Girl retire  
To our Summer house, i'th' Country; I'll be with you  
Within these two days.  Maria. 
I am yours in all things,  
Though with much sorrow to leave him. Exeunt Maria. Claris.  Alber. 
I pray you Gentlemen,  
With best observance tend your Patient;  
The loss of my heir Male, lies now a bleeding.  Enter Mentivole. 
And think what payment his recovery. Exeunt Physician Chirur.  
Shall shower upon you.  
Of all men breathing,  
Wherefore do you arrive here? are you mad?  
My injury begins to bleed afresh  
At sight of you; why this affront of your  
I receive more malicious than the other.  
Your hurt was only danger to my son:  
But your sight to me is death; why come you hither?  
Do you come to view the wounds, which you have made?  
And glory in them?  Menti. 
Rather worthy Sir, to pour oil into them.  Alber. 
I am a Soldier Sir,  
lest part of Courtier, and understand  
By your smooth oil  
Your present flattery.  Menti. 
Sir, for my Father's sake acknowledge me  
To be borne a Gentleman, no slave; I ever  
Held flatterers of that breed; do not misconstrue  
In your distaste of me, the true intent  
Of my coming hither, for I do protest  
I do not come to tell you I am sorry  
For your son's hurt.  Alber. 
Not sorry?  Menti. 
No not sorry; I have to the lowest ebb, lost all my fury:  
But I must not lose my honesty; 'twas he  
Gave heat unto the injury, which returned  
(Like a Potar ill lighted into th' bosom  
Of him gave fire to't) yet I hope his hurt,  
Is not so dangerous, but he may recover;  
When if it please him, call me to account,  
For the loss of so much blood, I shall be ready  
To do him noble reason.  Alber. 
You are armed methinks with wondrous confidence.  Menti. 
O with the best Sir;  
For I bring penitence, and satisfaction.  Alber. 
Satisfaction? Why I heard you say but now,  
You were not sorry for his wounds.  Menti. 
Nor am I: the satisfaction which I bring Sir, is to you;  
You are a Gentleman ne'er injured me;  
One ever loved my Father, the right way,  
And most approved of noble amity.  
Yet I have run my sword quite through your heart.  
And slightly hurt your son; for't may be feared,  
A grief ta'en at these years for your son's loss,  
May hazard yours: And therefore I am sent  
By him that has most interest in your sorrow;  
Who having chid me almost to the ruin  
Of a disheritance, for violating  
So continue and so sacred a friendship  
Of 50. winters standing: such a friendship,  
That ever did continue like the spring;  
ne'er saw the fall o'th' leaf; by him I am sent  
To say the wrong I have done Sir, is to you:  
And that I have quite lost him for a Father,  
Until I find your pardon; nay there follows  
A weightier deprivation; his estate  
I could with a less number of sighs part with.  
Fortune might attend my youth, and my deservings  
In any Climate: but a Father's blessing,  
To settle and confirm that fortune, nowhere;  
But only here. Your pardon, give me that;  
And when you have done, kill me; for 'tis that  
Takes from me the effect of excommunication;  
A Father's heavy curse.  Alber. 
Nay, may that curse  
Light on himself, for sending thee in this minute:  
When I am grown as deaf to all compassion,  
As the cruelest Sea fight, or most horrid tempest.  
That I had drowned i'th' Sea a thousand ducats,  
Thou hadst not made this visit: rash young man,  
Thou tak'st me in an ill Planet, and haste cause  
To curse thy Father; for I do protest,  
If I had met thee in any part o'th' world,  
But under my own roof, I would have killed thee.  Within there.— Enter Physician, Chirurgeon, and Servants. 
Look you!  
Here's a triumph sent for the death of your young Master.  Serv. 
Shall we kill him?  Alber. 
No, I'll not be so unhospitable; but Sir,  
By my life, I vow to take assurance from you,  
That right hand never more shall strike my son.  Menti. 
That will be easily protested.  Alber. 
Not easily, when it must be exacted, and a bloody seal to't.  
Bind him, and cut off's right hand presently:  
Fair words shall never satisfy foul deeds.  
Chop's hand off.  Menti. 
You cannot be so unrighteous, to your own honour.  Phy. 
O sir, collect yourself;  
And recall your bloody purpose.  Alber. 
My intents of this nature, do ever come to action  Chirur. 
Then I must fetch another stickler. — Exit.  Alber. 
Yet I do grieve at heart;  
And I do curse thy Father heartily,  
That's the cause of my dishonour; sending thee  
In such an hour, when I am apt for mischief:  
Apt as a Dutch man after a Sea-fight,  
When his Enemy kneels afore him; come dispatch.  Phys. 
Entreat him Noble Sir;  Menti. 
You shall excuse me;  
Whatsoever he dares do, that I dare suffer.  Enter Cesario, and Chirurgeon. Cesar. 
Oh sir, for honour's sake stay your foul purpose,  
For if you do proceed thus cruelly,  
There is no question in the wound you give him,  
I shall bleed to death for't.  Alber. 
Thou art not of my temper,  
What I purpose, cannot be altered.  Serv. 
Sir; the Duke  
With all speed expects you. You must instantly  
Ship all your followers, and to sea.  Alber. 
My blessing stay with thee upon this condition,  
Take away his use of fighting; as thou hop'st  
To be accounted for my son, perform't. — Exit.  Cesar. 
You hear what I am enjoined too.  Menti. 
Pray thee take it,  
Only this ring, this best esteemed jewel:  
I will not give't toth' hangman chops it off;  
It is to dear a relic. I'll remove it nearer my heart.  Cesar. 
Ha, that ring's my sisters.  
The ring I enjoined her never part withal  
Without my knowledge; come sir, we are friends:  
Pardon my father's heat, and melancholy;  
Two violent Fevers which he caught at Sea,  
And cannot yet shake off: only one promise  
I must enjoin you to, and seriously.  
Hereafter you shall never draw a sword  
To the prejudice of my life.  Menti. 
By my best hopes I shall not.  Cesar. 
I pray deliver me your sword  
On that condition.  Menti. 
I shall Sir, may it hereafter  
Ever fight on your part.  Cesar. 
Noble Sir, I thank you;  
But for performance of your vow, I entreat  
Some gage from you.  Menti. 
Any Sir.  Cesar. 
Deliver me that ring.  Menti. 
Ha, this ring? indeed this jewel binds me,  
If you knew the virtue of it, never more  
To draw my sword against you.  Cesar. 
Therefore I will have it.  Menti. 
You may not.  Cesar. 
Come: you must.  
I that by violence could take your hand,  
Can enforce this from you; this is a token Sir,  
That we may prove friends hereafter. Fare you well.  Phys. 
Why did you seize his sword Sir?  Cesar. 
To perform what my Father bade me,  
I have for the present ta'en away his  
Use of fighting.  Phys. 
Better so,  
Then take that which your Father meant.  Exeunt. Manet Mentivole. Menti. 
Was ever the like usage? o that ring!  
Dearer than life, whether is honour fled  
Cesario? Thou art unmanly in each part,  
To seize my sword first and then split my heart. Exit.  Enter Host, and Clown. Host. 
Thy Master that lodges here in my Hosteria,  
Is a rare man of art, they say he's a Witch.  Clow. 
A witch? Nay he's one step of the Ladder to preferment higher, he is a Conjurer?  Host. 
Is that his higher title.  Clow. 
Yes, I assure you, for a Conjurer is the devil's Master, and commands him; whereas a witch is the devil's Prentice and obeys him.  Host. 
Bound Prentice to the Devil!  Clow. 
Bound and enrolled I assure you, he cannot start; and therefore I would never wish any Gentleman to turn Witch.  Host: 
Why man.  Clown 
Oh he loses his gentility by it, the Devil in this case cannot help him, he must go to the Herald for new arms believe it.  Host. 
As I am true Innkeeper, yet a Gentleman borne,  
I'll ne'er turn witch for that trick,  
And thou hast been a great Traveller.  Clow. 
No indeed, not I Sir;  Host. 
Come you are modest.  Clow. 
No I am not modest, for I told you a lie, that you might the better understand I have been a traveller.  Host. 
So sir, they say your Master is a great Physician too  Clow. 
He was no fool told you that, I assure you.  Host. 
And you have been in England, but they say Ladies in England take a great deal of Physic.  Clow. 
Both ways on my reputation.  Host. 
So 'tis to be understood:  
But they say Ladies there take Physic for fashion.  Clow. 
Yes sir, and many times die to keep fashion.  Host. 
How? die to keep fashion!  Clow. 
Yes, I have known a Lady sick of the small Pockets, only to keep her face from Pitholes, take cold, strike them in again, kick up the heels and vanish.  Host. 
There was a kicking up the heels with a witness.  Clow. 
No Sir; I confess a good face has many times been the motive to the kicking up of the heels with a witness: but this was not.  Enter Hostess, and Bianca. Host. 
Here comes my wife and daughter.  Clow. 
You have a pretty commodity of this night worm?  Host 
Why man?  Clow. 
She is a pretty lure to draw custom to your ordinary.  Host. 
Dost think I keep her to that purpose?  Clow. 
When a Dove-house is empty, there is cuminseed used to purloin from the rest of the neighbours; In England you have several Adamants, to draw in spurs and rapiers; one keeps silkworms in a Gallery: A Milliner has choice of Monkeys, and Parakeets; another shows bawdy East Indian Pictures, worse than ever were Aretine's, a Goldsmith keeps his wife wedged into his shop like a Mermaid, nothing of her to be seen (that's woman) but her upper part.  Host. 
Nothing but her upper part?  Clow. 
Nothing but her upper bodies, and he lives at the more hearts ease.  Host. 
What's the reason?  Clow. 
Because her nether part can give no temptation; by your leave sir, I'll tend my Master, and instantly be with you for a cup of Cherelly this hot weather.  Host. 
A nimble pated rascal, come hither daughter, when was Cesario here?  Bian. 
Sir not this fortnight.  Host. 
I do not like his visits, commonly  
He comes by Owl-light, both the time and manner  
Is suspicious; I do not like it.  Bian. 
Sir, the Gentleman  
Is every way so noble, that you need not  
Question his intent of coming, though you did;  
Pray Sir preserve that good opinion of me,  
That though the custom of the place I was borne in  
Makes me familiar to every guest,  
I shall in all things keep myself a stranger  
To the vices they bring with them.  Hostis. 
Right my daughter?  
She has the right strain of her mother.  Host. 
Of her mother?  
And I would speak, I know from whence she took it;  
When I was as young I was as honest.  Hostis. 
Leave your prating,  
And study to be drunk; and abuse your guests over, and over,  Enter Forobosco, and Clown. Host. 
Peace wife. My honourable guest,  Foro. 
My endeared Landlord?  
And the rest o'th' compliments o'th' house.  Host. 
Breakfast is ready Sir;  
It waits only the tide of your stomach.  Clow. 
And mine gapes for't like a stale Oyster.  
Ere you go to bed, fail not of that I pray.  — Exeunt all but Forobosco, and Clown. Foro. 
We will instantly be with you;  
Now we are all fellows.  
Nine o'clock, and no clients come  
Yet, sure thou dost not set up bills enough.  Clow. 
I have set up bills in abundance.  Foro. 
What bills?  Clow. 
Marry for curing of all diseases,  
Recovery of stolen goods,  
And a thousand such impossibilities.  Foro. 
The place is unlucky,  Clow. 
No certain, 'tis scarcity of money; do not you here the Lawyers complain of it? men have as much malice as ever they had to wrangle, but they have no money: whether should this money be tralaunced?  Foro. 
To the Devil I think.  Clow. 
'tis with his cofferer I am certain, that's the Usurer.  Foro. 
Our cheating does not prosper so well as it was wont to do.  Clow. 
No sure, why in England we could cozen 'em as familiarly, as if we had travailed with a Brief, or a Lottery.  Foro. 
I'th' Low-countries we did pretty well.  Clow. 
So so, as long as we kept the Mop-headed butter-boxes sober; marry when they were drunk, than they grew buzzards: You should have them reel their heads together, and deliberate; your Dutchman indeed when he is foxed, is like a Fox; for when he's sunk in drink, quite earth to a man's thinking, 'tis full Exchange time with him, then he's subtlest; but your Switzer, was nothing to cheat him.  Foro. 
Nothing?  Clow. 
No nor conscience to be made of it; for since nature aforehand cozened him of his wit, 'twas the less sin for us to cozen him of his money.  Foro. 
But these Italians are more nimble-pated, we must have some new trick for them, I protest but that our hostess daughter is a sweet lass, and draws great resort toth' house, we were as good draw teeth a horseback.  Clow. 
I told 'em in the Market place you could conjure, and nobody would believe me: but ere long I will make'em believe you can conjure with such a fegary.  Foro. 
What language shall's conjure in? high Dutch  
I think, that's full i'th' mouth.  Clow. 
No, no, Spanish, that roars best; and will appear more dreadful.  Foro. 
Prithee tell me thy conceit thou hast to gull them.  Clow. 
No, no, I will not steal it; but my dear jews-trump, for thou art but my instrument, I am the plotter, and when we have cozened 'em most tightly, thou shalt steal away the Innkeepers daughter, I'll provide myself of another movable: and we will most purely retire ourselves to Geneva.  Foro. 
Thou art the compass I sail by.  Enter Baptista and Mentivole. Ment. 
Was ever expectation of so Noble  
A requital answered with such contumely!  
A wild Numidian that had sucked a Tigress,  
Would not have been so barbarous; did he threat  
To cut thy hand off?  Ment. 
Yes Sir, and his slaves were ready to perform't.  Bapt. 
What hindered it?  Ment. 
Only his son's entreaty.  Bapt. 
Noble youth,  
I wish thou wert not of his blood; thy pity  
Gives me a hope thou art not.  Ment. 
You mistake Sir,  
The injury that followed from the son,  
Was worse than the fathers; he did first disarm and took from me a jewel which I prize above my hand or life.  Bap. 
Take thy sword from thee?  
He stole it like a thief rather, he could not  
I'th' field deprive thee of it.  Ment 
He took it from me,  
And sent me forth so thin, and so unmade up,  
As if I had been a Footboy.  Bap. 
O my fury!  
I must now ask thee forgiveness, that my rashness  
Bred out of too much friendship, did expose thee  
To so eminent a danger; which I vow  
I will revenge on the whole Family:  
All the calamities of my whole life,  
My banishment from Genoa, my wife's loss  
Compared to this indignity is nothing;  
Their Family shall repair't; it shall be to them  
Like a plague, when the Dog-star reigns most hot:  
An Italians revenge may pause, but's ne'er forgot. Exit.  Ment. 
I would I had concealed this from my father,  
For my interest in Clarissa; my care now  
Must be to untangle this division,  
That our most equal flames may be united;  
And from these various and perturbed streams  
Rise like a sweet morn after terrible dreams.— Exit  Enter Clarissa and Caesario. Caesar. 
I am happy in your recovery,  
And I Sister, am ever best pleased in your happiness:  
But I wish a toy should be on your finger.  Clar. 
My Ring this morning when I washed  
I put it off, t's in my window.  Caes. 
where's your looking-glass?  Clar. 
Here Sir.  Caes. 
'tis a fair one.  Clar. 
'tis pure Crystal.  Caes. 
Can a Diamond cut in Crystal? let me see,  
I'll grave my name in't.  Clar. 
Oh, you'll spoil my glass.  
Would you not have your brother in your eye?  Caes. 
I had thought he had been Planted in your heart,  
Look you, the Diamond cuts quaintly, you are cozened,  
Your Crystal is too brittle.  Clar. 
'tis the Ring  
I gave unto Mentivole, sure the same.  
You put me to amazement Sir, and horror;  
How came you by that ring?  Caes. 
Does the blood rise?  Clar. 
Pray Sir resolve me, o for pity do;  
And take from me a trembling at the heart,  
That else will kill me: for I too much fear  
Nothing but Death could ravish it from his hand  
That wore it.  Caesar. 
Was it given to Mentivola on that condition?  Clar. 
Tell me of his health first.  
And then I'll tell you any thing.  Cesar. 
By my life he's well,  
In better health than I am.  Clar. 
Then it was Sir.  Caesar. 
Then shall I ever hate thee, oh thou false one;  
Hast thou a Faith to give unto a friend,  
And break it to a brother? did I not  
By all the ties of blood importune thee  
Never to part with it without my knowledge?  
Thou might'st have given it to a Muliter,  
And made a contract with him in a stable  
At as cheap a price of my vengeance: never more  
Shall a Woman's trust beguile me; You are all  
Like Relics: you may well be looked upon,  
But come a man toth' handling of you once,  
You fall in pieces.  Clar. 
Dear Sir, I have no way  
Looked either beneath reason or myself  
In my election; there's parity in our blood,  
And in our fortunes, ancient amity  
Betwixt our parents: to which wants nothing,  
But the fruit of blessed marriage between us,  
To add to their posterities: nor does now  
Any impeachment rise, except the sad  
And unexpected quarrel which divided  
So noble and so excellent a friendship,  
Which as I ne'er had Magic to foresee  
So I could not prevent.  Caesar. 
Well you must give me leave  
To have a hand in your disposing, I shall  
In the absence of my father be your Guardian;  
His Suit must pass through my office. Mentivole,  
He has too much of my blood already; he has,  
And he gets no more of't—  
Wherefore weep you mother?  Enter Mariana and a Sailor. Marian. 
'tis occasioned by a sorrow,  
Wherein you have a child's part, and the mainest,  
Your Father's dead.  Caesar. 
Dead?  Marian. 
There's one can relate the rest.  Sailor. 
I can Sir, your Father's drowned,  
Most unfortunately drowned.  Cesar. 
How? in a tempest?  Sailor. 
No Sir, in a calm,  
calm as this evening; the Gunner being drunk,  
Forgot to fasten the Ordnance to their ports,  
When came a sudden gust which tumbled them  
All to the starboard side, o'erturned the ship,  
And sunk her in moment, some six men  
That were upon the deck were saved: the rest  
Perished with your Father.  Claris. 
O my dearest Father—  Cesar. 
I pray thee leave us.  Maria. 
I have a sorrow of another nature, equal to the former.  Cesar. 
And most commonly they come together.  Maria. 
The Family of the Baptisti  
Are grown to faction, and upon distaste  
Of the injury late offered in my house,  
Have vowed a most severe, and fell revenge  
'Gainst all our family, but especially  
'Gainst you my dear Caesario.  Caesar. 
Let them threat, I am prepared to oppose them.  Maria. 
And is your loss then  
Of so easy an estimation, what comfort  
Have I but in your life, and your late danger  
Presents afore me what I am to suffer,  
Should you miscarry; therefore I'll advise you  
When the Funeral is over, you would travail,  
Both to prevent their fury, and wear out the injury.  Cesar. 
No Mother, I will not travail,  
So in my absence he may marry my Sister,  
I will not travail certain.  Maria. 
O my Caesario,  
Whom I respect and love 'bove my own life,  
Indeed with a kind of dotage, he shall never  
Go forth a doors, but the contrary faction  
Will endanger's life, and then am I most wretched.  
I am thinking of a strange prevention,  
Which I shall witness with a bleeding eye,  
Fondness sometimes is worse than cruelty. — Exeunt.    

Actus tertius  

Scaena prima.  Enter Host, Hostess, and Bianca. Host. 
HAunted, my house is haunted with goblins. I shall be frighted out of my wits, and set up a sign only to invite carriers and Foot-posts; scarecrows to keep off the Cavalry, and Gentry of the best rank. I will nail up my doors, and wall up my girl (wife) like an Anchoress; or she will be ravished before our faces, by rascals and cacaugoes (wife) cacaugoes.  Hostess. 
These are your Incomes, remember your own proverb, the savour of every gain smelled sweet; thank nobody but yourself for this trouble.  Host. 
No galling (dear Spouse) no galling, every days new vexation abates me two inches in the waist, terrible penance for an Host, Girl, girl, girl, which of all this gallimaufry of man's flesh appears tolerable to thy choice; speak shortly, and speak truly: I must and will know, must and will; here ye that?  Bian. 
Sir, be not jealous of my care and duty;  
I am so far from entertaining thoughts  
Of liberty, that much more excellent objects  
Then any of such course contents as these are,  
Could not betray mine eye to force my heart;  
Conceive a wish of any dearer happiness  
Than your direction warrants. I am yours sir.  Hostess 
What thinks the man now? is not this strange at 13.  Host. 
Very good words, there's a tang in 'em, and a sweet one, 'tis music (wife) and now I come t'ee. Let us a little examine the several conditions of our Paragraphistical suitors. The first, a travailing Tailor, who by the mystery of his needle and thimble, hath surveyed the fashions of the French, and English; this Signior Gingerbread stitched up in the shreds of a gaudy outside, sows linings with his cross legged compliment, like an Ape doing tricks over a staff, cringes, and crouches, and kisses his forefinger.  Hostess. 
Out upon him.  Host. 
A second, a lavolteteer, a saltatory, a dancer with a Kit at his bum, one that by teaching great madonnas to foot it, has miraculously purchased a ribanded waistcoat, and four clean pair of socks; a fellow that skips as he walks, and instead of sensible discourse vents the curious conceit of some new tune stolen from a Mask, or a bawdy ditty elevated for the Pole Arctic of a Lady's chamber, in that file stands another of your inamoratoes  Hostess. 
Hang him and his fiddle together, he never fiddles any child of ours.  Host. 
The third, a Mongrel, got by a Swisser on an Italian, this puppy, being left well estated, comes so Florence, that the world may take notice, how impossible it is for experience to alter the course of nature, a fool (wife) and indeed a Clown turned gallant, seldom or never proves other than a gallant fool, this toy prates to little purpose other then what's o'clock, shall's go drink, d'ye forsooth, and thank ye heartily; I fear no art in him to catch thee, and yet we must be tormented with this buzzard amongst the rest.  Hostess. 
'tis your own folly, forbid him the house.  Host. 
The 4th, a Mule-driver, a stubborn & a harsh knave: the fifth a schoolmaster, a very amorous Pedant, run almost mad with study of Sonnets and Compliments out of old play-ends, the last an advocate's clerk, that speaks pure fustian in Law terms, excellent Courtiers all, and all as neat as a magnifico post new painted at his entrance to an office; thou shalt have none of 'em. Laugh at 'em do. I say thou shalt have none of 'em.  Bian. 
Still your command to me shall stand a Law.  Host. 
Now they throng like so many horse-coursers at a fair, in clusters about the man of art, for love powders, ingredients, potions, counsels, postures, compliments, philters: the devil and the— how now? tumults? batteries, noise? ha, get from my sight. Clown cries within  Enter Forobosco and Clowne, his head bloody. Clow. 
Murder me, do, pound me to Mummy, do; see what will come on't.  Foro. 
Dog, leave thy snarling, or I'll cut thy tongue out,  
Thou unliked bear, dar'st thou yet stand my fury,  
My generous rage? yet! by the sulphurous damps  
That feed the hungry and incessant darkness,  
Which curls round the grim Alastor's back,  
Mutter again, and with one powerful word,  
I'll call an Host up from the Stygian lakes,  
Shall waft thee to the Acherontic fens;  
Where choked with mists as black as thy impostors,  
Thou shalt live still a dying.  Clow. 
Conjure me to the devil and you can. I live in hell upon earth 'em already, and you had any mercy, you would not practise upon a kind heart thus.  Host. 
You have drawn blood from him Signior, Is his offence unpardonable?  Foro. 
A lump of ignorance, pray speak not for him,  
A drowsy grossness, in all christian kingdoms,  
The mention of my art, my name, my practice  
Merit and glory hath begot at once  
Delight and wonder; I'll not be entreated;  
Spare intercession for him,— o thou scorn  
Of learning, shame of duty; must thy sloth  
Draw my just fame in question? I discharge thee  
From my service; see me no more henceforth.  Clow. 
Discharge me, is that my years wages!  
I'll not be so answered.  Foro. 
Not Camel, sirrah I am liberal to thee;  
Thou hast thy life, begone.  Clow. 
Vengeance, sweet vengeance.  Foro. 
doye mumble?  Clow. 
I'll be revenged, monstrously, suddenly, and insatiably; my bulk begins to swell.  Foro. 
Homotolenton, Pragmatophoros, Heliostycorax.  Clow. 
Call up your spirits, I defy 'em; well have law for my broken pate, twelve ounces of pure blood; Troy-weight. In despite of thee my Master, and thy Master the grand devil himself, vindicta, vindicta. — Exit.  Host. 
Signior you are exceeding moved.  Hostes. 
Mercy upon us, what terrible words thou talked?  Foro. 
A slave, a cur— but be not you affrighted  
Young Virgin, 'twere an injury to sweetness:  
Should any rough sound draw from your cheeks,  
The precious tincture which makes nature proud  
Of her own workmanship.  Host. 
Wife, Mark, mark that wife.  Bian. 
Shake then your anger off Sir;  Foro. 
You command it  
Fair one, mine Host and Hostess, with your leaves  
I have a motion jointly to you all.  Hostess. 
An honest one I hope.  Host. 
Well put in wife.  Foro. 
A very necessary one, the Mess  
Stools out. And half of suitors, that attend to usher  
Their loves sit reverence to your daughter, wait  
With one consent, which can best please her eye;  
In offering at a dance, I have provided  
Music. And 'twill be something I dare promise  
Worthy your laughter, shall they have admittance?  H. 
By any means, for I am persuaded the manner will be so  
Ridiculous, that it will confirm the assurance of their  
Miserable fooleries, but no longer trouble with 'em here,  
Than they are in these May-games.  Foro. 
So I am resolved.  Hostess. 
Nor any wise word of senseless love.  Foro. 
Not any; I have charmed them, did you see  
How they prepared themselves, how they stroke up  
Their foretops, how they justle for the looking-glass,  
To set their Faces by it;  
You would look for some most impossible antic. See they muster.  Enter Tailor, Dancer, Mute Driver, schoolmaster, clerk: (all with several papers, and present 'em to Forobosco.) Host. 
So, so, so, so, here flutter the nest of hornets, the hotchpotch of rascality, now, now, now, now, the dunghill of corruption hath yawned forth the burden of abomination. I am vexed, vexed to the soul, will rid my house of this unchristend fry, and never open my doors again.  Foro. 
Some other time, I'll give no answer now,  
But have preferred your suits, here show your cunning.  
First every one in order do his honour  
To the fair mark you shoot at; courtly, courtly,  
Convey your several loves in lively measure:  
Come, let us take our seats, some sprightly music.  Host. 
Dance all and part, 'tis a very necessary farewell.  Enter Caesario, They all make ridiculous tongues, to Bianca: rank themselves, and dance in several postures: during the dance. Enter Caesario, and stands off. Host. 
Well done my lusty bloods, preciously well done,  
One lusty rouse of wine, and take leave on all sides.  Caesar. 
Thanks for your revels Gentlemen; accept  
This Gold, and drink as freely as you danced.  Host. 
My noble Lord Cesario, clear the rooms sirs.  Foro. 
Away. Attend your answers.  — Exeunt Foro. and those that Danced. Caesar. 
With your favour Rolando, I would change a word or two with your fair daughter.  Host. 
At your Lordship's pleasure, come wife, no muttering, have a care girl, my love, service, and duty to your good Lordship. — Exeunt and Wife.  Caesar. 
My often visits (sweet Bianca) cannot  
But constantly inform thy judgement, wherein  
Thy happiness consists, for to steal minutes  
From great employments, to converse with beauty,  
Lodged in so mean a fortune, to lay by  
Consideration of the unequal distance  
Between my blood and thine, to shun occasions  
Of courtship with the Ladies of the time:  
Noble, and fair, only for love to thee,  
Must of necessity invite a tenderness;  
As low as nature could have stamped a bond woman's.  
To entertain quick motions of rare gratitude  
For my uncommon favours.  Bian. 
Deed my Lord, as far as my simplicity can lead me,  
I freely thank your courtesies.  Cesar. 
To thank them, is to reward them pretty one.  Bian. 
Then teach me  
How I may give them back again; in truth  
I never yet received a pair of Gloves:  
A trifling ring from any that expected  
An equal satisfaction, but as willingly  
I parted with the gift unto the owner, as he bestowed it.  Caesar. 
But I power before thee  
Such plenties, as it lies not in the ability  
Of thy whole kindred to return proportionable  
One for a thousand.  Bian. 
You my Lord conclude  
For my instruction, to engage a debt  
Beyond a possibility of payment,  
I ever thought a sin; and therefore justly  
Without conceit of scorn or curious rudeness,  
I must refuse your bounty.  Cesar. 
Canst thou love?  Bian. 
Love! is there such a word in any language  
That carries honest sense?  Cesar. 
Never dwelled ignorance  
In so sweet-shaped a building, love Bianca,  
Is that firm knot which ties two hearts in one,  
Shall ours be tied so?  Bian. 
Use a plainer word,  
My Lord. Instead of ties, say marries hearts,  
Than I may understand.  Cesar. 
Their hearts are married  
Whose interchange of pleasures and embraces,  
Soft kisses, and the privacies of sweets,  
Keeps constant league together, when temptation  
Of great men's oaths and gifts shall urge contempt,  
Rather than batter resolution, novelty  
Of sights, or taste of new delights in wantonness,  
Breeds surfeit more than appetite in any  
Reserved to noble vows; my excellent maid  
Live thou but true to me, and my contents,  
Mine only, that no partner may partake  
The treasure of those sweets thy youth yet glories in  
And I will raise thy lowness to abundance  
Of all varieties, and more triumph  
In such a mistress, then great Princes doting  
On truth-betraying wives.  Bian. 
Thus to yield up then  
The cottage of my virtue to be swallowed  
By some hard-neighbouring landlord such as you are  
Is in effect to love, a Lord so vicious!  
O where shall innocence find some poor dwelling  
Free from temptations tyranny.  Cesar. 
Nay prithee;  Byan. 
Gay clothes, high feeding, easy beds of lust,  
Change of unseemly sights; with base discourse,  
Draw curses on your Palaces; for my part  
This I will be confirmed in, I will eat  
The bread of labour, know no other rest  
Then what is earned from honest pains, ere once more  
Lend ear to your vild toils; Sir, would you were  
As noble in desires, as I could be in knowing virtue.  
Pray do not afflict a poor soul thus.  Caesar. 
I swear.— to me? — Bianca steals off.  Gen. 
The Duke my Lord commands your speedy presence  
For answering aggrievances late urged  
Against you by your Mother.  Caesar. 
By my Mother.  Gent. 
The Court is near on sitting.  Cesar. 
I wait on it Sir, — Exeunt.  Enter Duke, Magistrate, Secretary, Baptista, Attendants, Mentivole: (they sit) Mentivole stands by. Duke. 
What waste of blood, what tumults, what divisions,  
What outrages, what uproars in a state,  
Factions though issuing from mean springs at first  
Have (not restrained) flowed to, the sad example  
At Rome between the Ursins and Columnies,  
Nay here at home in Florence, twixt the Neers  
And the Bianchi can too mainly witness.  
I sit not at the helm (my Lords) of sovereignty  
Deputed Pilot for the Commonwealth,  
To sleep whiles others steer (as their wild fancies  
Shall council) by the compass of disorders.  
Baptista, This short Preface is directed  
Chiefly to you, the petty brawls and quarrels  
Late urged betwixt th' Alberti and your family  
Must, yes and shall like tender unknit joints  
Fasten again together of themselves:  
Or like an angry Chirurgeon, we will use  
The roughness of our justice, to cut off  
The stubborn rancour of the limbs offending.  Bap. 
Most gracious Florence.  Duke. 
Our command was signified,  
That neither of the followers of each party  
Should appear here with weapons.  Bap. 
'tis obeyed Sir, on my side.  Duke. 
We must leave the general cause  
Of State employments to give ear to brawls  
Of some particular grudges, politic government  
For tutored Princes, but no more henceforth.  Ent. Mariana, and Clarissa, at one door Cesario at the other. 
Our frown shall check presumption, not our clemency,  Mari. 
All blessings due to unpartial Princes,  
Crown Florence with eternity of happiness.  Cesar. 
If double prayers can double blessings (great Sir)  
Mine join for your prosperity with my mothers.  Duke. 
Rise both; now briefly (Lady) without circumstance  
Deliver those aggrievances which lately  
Your importunity possessed our counsel  
Were fit for audience, wherein you petitioned,  
You might be heard without an Advocate  
Which boon you find is granted.  Mari. 
Though divided.  
I stand between the laws of truth and modesty,  
Yet let my griefs have vent: Yet the clearness  
Of strange necessity requires obedience  
To nature and your mercy, in my weeds  
Of mourning, emblems of too dear misfortunes,  
Badges of griefs, and Widowhood, the burden  
Of my charged soul must be laid down before you;  
Wherein if strict opinion cancel shame,  
My frailty is my plea;  
Stand forth young man,  
And hear a story that will strike all reason  
Into amazement.  Cesar. 
I attend.  Mar. 
Alberto (peace dwell upon his ashes) still the husband  
Of my remembrance and unchanging vows,  
Has by his death left to his heir possession  
Of fair revenue, which this young man claims  
As his inheritance. I urged him gently,  
Friendly, and privately to grant a partage  
Of this estate to her who owns it all  
This his supposed Sister.  Bap. 
How supposed?  Cesar. 
Pray Madam recollect yourself.  Mar. 
The relish  
Of a strange truth begins to work like Physic  
Already: I have bitterness to mingle  
With these preparatives, so deadly loathsome;  
It will quite choke digestion; shortly hear it  
Cesario, for I dare not rob unjustly  
The poor soul of his name; this, this Cesario  
Neither for Father had Alberto, me  
For Mother, nor Clarissa for his Sister.  Claris. 
Mother, o Mother.  Ment. 
I am in a Dream sure.  Duke. 
No interruptions. Lady on,  Maria. 
however  Bap. 
A Falconers son:  Mari. 
Mistake not  
Great Duke of Tuscany or the beginning  
Or process of this novelty; my husband  
The now deceased Alberto, from his youth  
enured to an impatiency, and roughness  
Of disposition, when not many months  
After our marriage were worn out, repined  
At the unfruitful barrenness of youth,  
Which as he pleased to term it, cut our hops off  
From blessing of some issue, to prevent it;  
I grew ambitious of no fairer honour  
Than to preserve her love, and as occasions  
Still called him from me, studied in his absence  
How I might frame his welcome home with comfort.  
At last I feigned myself with child; the Message  
Of freedom or relief to one half starved  
In prison is not uttered with such greediness;  
Of expectation and delight as this was  
To my much affected Lord, his care, his goodness;  
(Pardon me that I use the word) exceeded  
All former fears, the hour of my deliverance  
As I pretended drawing ne'er, I fashioned  
My birthrights at a Country Garden house,  
Where then my Falconers wife was brought a-bed  
Of this Cesario; him I owned for mine;  
Presented him unto a joyful Father.  Duke. 
Can you prove this true?  Mari. 
Proofs I have most evident;  
But O the curse of my impatiency; shortly  
Ere three new Moons had spent their borrowed lights,  
I grew with child indeed, so just is Heaven,  
The issue of which burden was this daughter;  
judge now most gracious Prince my Lords and you,  
What combats then and since I have endured  
Between a mother's piety and weakness  
Of a Soul trembling wife; to have revealed  
This secret to Alberto, had been danger  
Of ruin to my fame, besides the conflict  
Of his distractions; now to have suppressed it,  
Were to defeat my child, my only child,  
Of her most lawful honours, and inheritance.  
Caesario, thouart a man still, Education  
Hath moulded thee a Gentleman, continue so;  
Let not this fall from greatness, sink thee lower  
Than worthy thoughts may warrant, yet disclaim  
All interest in Alberto's blood, thou hast not  
One drop of his or mine.  Duke 
Produce your witness.  Marian. 
The falconers wife his mother,  
And such women as waited then upon me,  
Sworn to the privacy of this great secret.  Duke. 
Give them all their oaths.  Cesar. 
O let me crave forbearance, gracious Sir,  
Vouchsafe me hearing.  Duke 
Speak Caesario.  Cesar. 
Thus long  
I have stood silent, and with no unwillingness,  
Attended the relation of my fall,  
From a fair expectation; what I feared  
(since the first syllable this Lady uttered  
Of my not being hers) benevolent Fates  
Have eased me off; for to be basely born,  
If not base-born, detracts not from the bounty  
Of nature's freedom or an honest birth.  
Nobility claimed by the right of blood,  
shows chiefly that our Ancestors desired  
What we inherit; but that man whose actions  
Purchase a real merit to himself,  
And ranks him in the file of of praise and honour,  
Creates his own advancement; let me want  
The fuel which best feeds the fires of greatness,  
Lordly possessions, yet shall still my gratitude  
By some attempts of mention not unworthy  
Endeavour to return a fit acquittance  
To that large debt I owe your favours (Madam)  
And great Alberto's memory and goodness;  
O that I could as gently shake off passion  
For the loss of what great brave man as I can shake off  
Remembrance of that once I was reputed;  
I have not much to say, this Princely presence  
Needs not too strictly to examine farther  
The truth of this acknowledgement; a mother  
Dares never disavow her only son,  
And any woman must come short of Piety,  
That can or disinherit her own issue,  
Or fears the voice of rumor for a stranger.  
Madam, you have confessed, my Father was  
A servant to your Lord and you: by interest  
Of being his son, I cannot but claim justly  
The honour of continuing still my service  
To you and yours; which granted, I beg leave  
I may for this time be dismissed.  Duke 
Bold spirit.  Bap. 
I love thee now with pity;  Duke 
Go not yet—  
A sudden tempest that might shake a rock,  
Yet he stands firm against it; much it moves me,  
He not Alberto's son, and she a widow,  
And she a widow,— Lords your ear.  Omnes. 
Your pleasure.— Whispers.  Duke. 
So, Lady, what you heard avouch't is truth.  Mari. 
Truth only, gracious Sir.  Duke. 
Hear then our Sentence.  
Since from his cradle you have fed and fostered  
Caesario as your son, and trained him up  
To hopes of greatness; which now in a moment  
You utterly again have ruined, this way  
We with our Council are resolved, you being  
A widow shall accept him for a husband.  Maria. 
Husband to me Sir?  Duke. 
'tis in us to raise him  
To honours, and his virtues will deserve 'em.  Maria. 
But Sir, 'tis in no Prince nor his prerogative,  
To force a woman's choice against her heart.  Duke. 
True, if then you appeal to higher justice,  
Our doom includes this clause upon refusal  
Out of your Lords revenues shall Caesario  
Assure to any whom he takes for wife  
The inheritance of three parts; the less remainder  
Is dowry large enough to marry a daughter;  
And we by our prerogative which you question  
Will publicly adopt him intoth' name  
Of your deceased Alberto, that the memory  
Of so approved a Peer may live in him  
That can preserve his memory less you find out  
Some other means which may as amply satisfy  
His wrong, our Sentence stands irrevocable:  
What think you Lords?  Omnes. 
The Duke is just and honourable.  Bap. 
Let me embrace Caesario, henceforth ever  
I vow a constant friendship.  Mentivole. 
I remit all former difference.  Cesar. 
I am too poor  
In words to thank this justice. Madam always  
My studies shall be love to you, and duty.  
Duke Replies we admit none. Caesario wait on us.  Exeunt. Manent Mentivole, Bap. Mari. Claris. Bap. 
Mentivole.  Menti. 
My Lord.  Bap. 
Look on Clarissa, she's noble, rich, young, fair.  Mentivole. 
My Lord, and virtuous.  Bap. 
Mentivole and virtuous.— Madam.  Maria. 
Tyranny of justice, I shall live reports derision,  
That am compelled to exchange a graceful widowhood  
For a continual martyrdom in marriage,  
With one so much beneath me.  Bap. 
I'll plead for ye  
Boldly and constantly, let your daughter only  
Admit my son her servant, at next visit  
Madam I'll be a messenger of comfort.  
Mentivole, be confident and earnest. Exit.  Maria. 
Married again, to him too! better t'had been  
The young man should have still retained the honours  
Of old Alberto's son, than I the shame  
Of making him successor of his bed; I was too blame,  Ment. 
Indeed without offence,  
madam I think you were,  Claris. 
You urge it fairly, and like a worthy friend.  Maria. 
can you say any thing  
In commendation of a Mushroom withered  
as soon as started up?  Ment. 
You scorn an Innocent  
Of noble growth, for whiles your husband lived  
I have heard you boast Cesario in all actions  
Gave matter of report of Imitation,  
Wonder and envy; let not discontinuance  
Of some few days estrange a sweet opinion  
Of virtue, chiefly when in such extremity,  
Your pity not contempt will argue goodness.  Maria. 
O Sir,  Cla. 
If you would use a thriving courtship,  
You cannot utter a more powerful language  
That I shall listen to with greater greediness  
Than th'argument you prosecute; this speaks you  
A man complete and excellent;  Ment. 
I speak not, they are his own deserts.  Maria. 
Good Sir forbear,  
I am now fully sensible of running  
Into a violent Lethargy, whose deadliness  
Locks up all reason, I shall never henceforth  
Remember my past happiness.  Ment. 
These clouds may be dispersed,  Maria. 
I fear continual night  
Will over-shroud me, yet poor youth his trespass  
Lies in his fortune, not the cruelty  
Of the Duke's sentence.  Cla. 
I dare think it does,  Maria. 
If all fail I will learn thee to conquer  
Adversity with sufferance.  Ment. 
You resolve Nobly. Exeunt.    

Actus quartus  

Scaena prima.  Enter Cesario and a Servant. Cesar. 
Let any friend have entrance,  Servant. 
Sir he'll.  Cesar. 
Any, I except none,  Serv. 
we know, your mind Sir — Exit.  Cesar. 
Pleasures admit no bounds.  
I am pitched so high  
To such a growth of full prosperities  
That to conceal my fortunes were an injury?  
To gratefulness and those more liberal favours  
By whom my glories prosper. He that flows  
In gracious and swollen tides of best abundance,  
Yet will be Ignorant of his own fortunes,  
Deserves to live contemned, and die forgotten;  
The harvest of my hopes is now already  
Ripened and gathered, I can fatten youth  
With choice of plenty, and supplies of comforts,  
My fate springs in my own hand, and I'll use it.  Enter 2 Servants and Bianca. 1 
'tis my place,  2 
Yours- here fair one, I'll acquaint my Lord,  1 
He's here, go to him boldly.  2 
Please you to let him understand how readily  
I waited on your errand?  1 
Saucy fellow, you must excuse his breeding,  Cesar. 
What's the matter  
Biancha, my Biancha, to your offices. Exit Ser.  
This visit (Sweet) from thee (my pretty dear)  
By how much more 'twas unexpected, comes  
So much the more timely: witness this free welcome,  
whate'er occasion led thee?  Bian. 
You may guess Sir,  
Yet indeed 'tis a rare one,  Ces. 
Prithee speak it, my honest virtuous maid,  Bian, 
Sir I have heard  
Of your misfortune, and I cannot tell you  
Whether I have more cause of joy or sadness,  
To know they are a truth.  Ces. 
What truth Bianca! misfortunes, how, wherein?  Bian. 
You are disclaimed  
For being the Lord Alberto's son, and publicly  
Acknowledged of as mean a birth as mine is,  
It cannot choose but grieve thee  Ces. 
grieve me, ha ha ha ha? is this all?  Bian. 
This all.  Ces. 
Thou art sorry for't  
I warrant thee, alas good soul, Biancha,  
That which thou call'st misfortune is my happiness,  
my happiness Biancha.  Bian. 
If you love me, it may prove mine too,  
May it, I will love thee.  Ces. 
My good good maid,  
If that can make thee happy,  
Better and better love thee,  Bian. 
Without breach then  
Of modesty I come to claim the Interest  
Your protestations both by vows and letters  
Have made me owner of, from the first hour  
I saw you, I confess I wished I had been  
Or not so much below your rank and greatness,  
Or not so much above those humble flames  
That should have warmed my bosom with a temperate  
Equality of desires in equal fortunes.  
Still as you uttered Language of affection,  
I courted time to pass more slowly on  
That I might turn more food to lend attention  
To what I durst not credit nor yet hope for:  
Yet still as more I heard, I wished to hear more,  Ces. 
Didst thou introth wench  Bian. 
Willingly betrayed  
myself to hopeless bondage.  Ces. 
A good girl,  
I thought I should not miss  
What ever thy answer was.  Biancha. 
But as I am a maid Sir, and I'faith  
You may believe me, for I am a maid,  
So dearly I respected both your fame  
And quality, that I would first have perished  
In my sick thoughts then ere have given consent  
To have undone your fortunes by inviting  
A marriage with so mean a one as I am,  
I should have died sure, and no creature known  
The sickness that had killed me.  Ces. 
Pretty heart, good soul, alas. alas.  Bian. 
Now since I know  
There is no difference twixt your birth and mine.  
Not much twixt our estates, if any be,  
The advantage is on my side, I come willingly  
To tender you the first fruits of my heart,  
And am content t'accept you for my husband,  
Now when you are at lowest.  Ces. 
For a husband?  
Speak sadly, dost thou mean so?  Bian. 
In good deed Sir,  
'tis pure love makes this proffer.  Ces 
I believe thee,  
What counsel urged thee on, tell me, thy Father  
My worshipful smug Host? was't not he wench?  
Or mother Hostess? ha?  Bian. 
D''ee mock my parentage?  
I do not scorn yours.  
Mean folks are as worthy  
To be well spoken of if they deserve well,  
As some whose only fame lies in their blood.  
O you're a proud poor man: all your oaths falsehood,  
your vow deceit, your letters forged, and wicked.  Ces. 
thou'dst be my wife. I dare swore,  Bian. 
Had your heart,  
Your hand and tongue been twins, you had reputed  
This courtesy a benefit,  Ces. 
Simplicity,  
How prettily thou movest me? why Biancha  
Report has cozened thee, I am not fallen  
From my expected honours, or possessions.  
Though from the hope of birthright.  Bian. 
Are you not?  
Then I am lost again, I have a suit too;  
You'll grant it if you be a good man.  Ces. 
Any thing,  Bian. 
Pray do not talk of aught what I have said tee.  Ces. 
As I wish health I will not.  Bian. 
Pity me, but never love me more.  Ces. 
Nay now you're cruel,  
Why all these tears?— Thou shalt not go.  Bian. 
I'll pray for ye  
That you may have a virtuous wife, a fair one,  
And when I am dead—  Ces. 
Fie, fie,  Bian. 
Think on me sometimes,  
With mercy so this trespass.  Ces. 
Let us kiss  
At parting as at coming.  Bian. 
This I have  
As a free dower to a virgin's grave,  
All goodness dwell with ye. — Exit.  Ces. 
Harmless Biancha? unskilled,  
What handsome toys are maids to play with?  Enter Mariana and Clarissa. 
How innocent. but I have other thoughts  
Of nobler meditation.— my felicity,  
Thou comest as I could wish, lend me a lip  
Soft, as melting as when old Alberto  
After his first night's trial taking farewell  
Of thy youth's conquest tasted.  Maria. 
You are uncivil.  Ces. 
I will be Lord of my own pleasures, madam  
You're mine, mine freely,  
Come, no whimpering henceforth  
New con the lessons of loves best experienced,  
That our delights may meet in equal measure  
Of resolutions and desires; this sullenness  
Is scurvy, I like it not,  Mar. 
Be modest.  
And do not learn Cesario how to prostitute  
The riot of thy hopes to common folly;  
Take a sad woman's word, howe'er thou dotest  
Upon the present graces of thy greatness,  
Yet I am not fall'n so below my constancy  
To virtue, nor the care which I once tendered  
For thy behoof that I prefer a sentence  
Of cruelty before my honour.  Ces. 
Honour!  Maria. 
Hear me, thou seest this girl! now the comfort  
Of my last days. She is the only pledge  
Of a bed truly noble, she had a father  
(I need not speak him more than thou remember'st)  
Whom to dishonour by a meaner choice,  
Were injury and infamy,  Claris. 
to goodness,  
To time and virtuous mention.  Mar. 
I have vowed,  
Observe me now Cesario, that howe'er  
I may be forced to marry, yet no tyranny,  
Persuasions, flattery, gifts, entreats, or tortures,  
Shall draw me to a second bed.  Clar. 
'tis Just too  Maria. 
Yes and 'tis Just Clarissa. I allow  
The Duke's late sentence, am resolved young man  
To be thy wife, but when the ceremony  
Of marriage is performed, in life I will be  
Though not in name a widow.  Ces. 
Pray a word Tee,  
Shall I in earnest never be your bedfellow?  Maria. 
Never, o never; and 'tis for your good too.  Ces. 
Prove that.  Mar. 
Alas too many years are numbered  
In my account to entertain the benefit  
Which youth in thee Cesario and ability  
Might hope for and require, it were Injustice  
To rob a gentleman deserving memory  
Of Issue to preserve it.  Ces. 
No more herein,  
You are an excellent pattern of true piety,  
Let me now turn your advocate. Pray look into  
The order of the Duke, Jnjoynd, admit  
I satisfy the sentence without marriage  
with you, how then?  Mar. 
Cesario.  Ces. 
If I know  
How to acquit your fears, yet keep th'injunction  
In every clause whole and entire, your charity  
Will call me still your servant.  Mar. 
Still my son.  Ces. 
Right Madam, now you have it, still your son.  
The Genius of your blessings hath instructed  
Your tongue oraculously, we will forget  
How once I and Clarissa interchanged  
The ties of brother and of sister, henceforth  
New style us man and wife.  Cla. 
By what authority  Ces. 
heaven's great appointment, yet in all my dotage  
On thy perfections, when I thought Clarissa  
we had been pledges of one womb, no loose  
No wanton heat of youth, desired to claim  
Priority in thy affections, other  
Than nature might commend. Chastely I tendered  
Thy farewell as a brother ought; but since  
Our bloods are strangers, let our hearts contract  
A long life-lasting unity, for this way  
The sentence is to be observed or no way.  Mar. 
Then no way.  Ces. 
I expected other answer Madam from you.  Mar. 
No, every age shall curse me,  
The monster, and the prodigy of nature,  
Horrors beyond extremity,  Cla. 
Pray mother confine the violence of grief  Ces. 
Yes mother, pray do.  Mar. 
Thus some catch at a matron's honour  
By flying lust to plot Incestuous witchcrafts,  
More terrible than whoredoms; cruel mercy  
When to preserve the body from a death  
The soul is strangled.  Ces. 
This is more than passion.  
It comes near to distraction.  Mar. 
I am quieted.  
Cesario, thou mayest tell the Duke securely  
Alberto's titles, honours and revenues,  
The Duke may give away, Enjoy them thou.  
clarissa's birthright, Mariana's dower  
Thou shalt be Lord of; turn us to the world  
Unpitied and unfriended, yet my bed  
Thou never sleep'st in; as for her; she hears me,  
If she as much as in a thought's consent;  
That thou may'st call her wife, a Mother's curse  
Shall never leave her.  Clar. 
As a brother once  
I loved you, as a noble friend yet honour ye,  
But for a husband sir, I dare not own you,  
My faith is given already.  Ces. 
To a Villain, I'll cut his throat.  Mar. 
Why this is more than passion?  
It comes near a distraction.  Clar. 
Call to mind Sir.  
How much you have abated of that goodness  
Which once reigned in ye, they appeared so lovely  
That such as friendship led to observation  Enter Baptista and Mentivole. 
Courted the great example.  Ces. 
Left and flattered into abroad derision  Mar. 
Why d'ee think so?  
My Lord Baptista, is your son grown cold  
In hasting on the marriage, which his vows  
Have sealed to my wronged daughter?  Bap. 
we come Lady, to consummate the contract.  Ces. 
With Mentivole? is he the man?  Ment. 
Clarissa's, troth and mine,  
Cesario are recorded in a character  
So plain and certain, that except the hand  
Of heaven, which writ it first, would blot it out again,  
No human power can raze it.  Ces. 
But say you so too? young Lady,  Cla. 
I should else betray  
My heart to falsehood, and my tongue to perjury.  Ces. 
Madam, you know the sentence.  Bap. 
From the Duke,  
I have particular comforts which require  
A private ear.  Mar. 
I shall approve it gladly,  
we are resolved Cesario.  Bap. 
Be not insolent upon a PRINCE's favour.  Cla. 
Lose no glory,  
Your younger years have purchased.  Ment. 
And deserved too you've many worthy friends.  Bap. 
Preserve and use them. Exeunt: Manet Caesar.  Ces. 
Good, very good, why here's a compliment  
Of mirth in desperation, I could curse  
My fate. o with what speed men tumble down  
From hopes that soar too high. Biancha now  
May scorn me justly too, Clarissa married,  
Alberto's widow resolute, Biancha  
Refused, and I forsaken, let me study,  
I can but die a Bachelor that's the worst on't. Exit.  Enter Host, tailor, Muliter, Dancer, Pedant, Coxcomb. Host. 
Come Gentlemen,  
This is the day that our great artist hath  
Promised to give all your several suits satisfaction.  Dancer. 
Is he stirring?  Host. 
He hath been at his book these two hours.  Pedant. 
he's a rare Physician.  Host. 
Why I'll tell you,  
Were Paracelsus the German now  
Living, heed take up his single rapier against his  
Terrible long sword, he makes it a matter of nothing  
To cure the gout, sore eyes he takes out as familiarly,  
Washes them, and puts them in again,  
As you'd blanch almonds.  Tay. 
They say he can make gold.  Host. 
ay, ay, he learned it of Kelly in Germany.  
There's not a Chemist  
In Christendom can go beyond him for multiplying.  Pedant. 
Take heed then,  
He get not up your daughter's belly my Host.  Host. 
You are a merry Gentleman  
And the man of art will love you the better.  Dancer. 
Does he love mirth and crotchets?  Host. 
O he's the most courteous Physician,  
You may drink or drab in's company freely,  
The better he knows how your disease grows,  
The better he knows how to cure it.  Danc. 
But I wonder my Host  
He has no more resort of Ladies to him.  Host. 
Why Sir?  Dan. 
O divers of them have great belief in conjurer's  
Lechery is a great help to the quality.  Host. 
he's scarce known to be in town yet,  
Ere long we shall have 'em come  
hurrying hither in Featherbeds.  Dan. 
How? bedridden.  Host. 
No sir, in featherbeds that move upon 4 wheels in Spanish caroches.  Ped. 
Pray acquaint him we give attendance.  Host, 
I shall gentlemen. I would fain be rid  
Of these rascals, but that they raise profit  
To my wine-cellar;  
When I have made use of them sufficiently,  
I will entreat the conjurer to tie crackers to their tails,  
And send them packing.  Enter Forobosco as in his Study. (A paper) Foro. 
Come hither mine Host look here.  Host. 
What's that?  Foro. 
A challenge from my man.  Host. 
Forbreakings pate?  Foro. 
He writes here if I meet him not  
i'th' Field within this half hour,  
I shall hear more from him.  Host. 
O sir, mind your profit,  
ne'er think of the rascal, here are the gentlemen.  Foro. 
Morrow my worthy clients,  
What are you all prepared of your questions?  
That I may give my resolution upon them,  Omnes. 
We are sir.  Pedant, 
And have brought our money.  Foro 
Each then in order,  
And differ not for precedency.  Dan. 
I am buying of an office sir,  
And to that purpose I would fain learn  
to dissemble cunningly.  Foro. 
Do you come to me for that? you should rather  
Have gone to a cunning woman.  Danc. 
ay sir but their Instructions are but like women,  
Pretty well but not to the depth, as i'do have it,  
You are a conjurer, the devil's master,  
And I would learn it from you so exactly,  Foro. 
That the devil himself  
Might not go beyond you,  Danc. 
You are i'th' right sir.  Foro. 
And so your money for your purchase  
Might come in again within a 12 month.  Danc. 
I would be a Graduate sir, no freshman.  Foro. 
Here's my hand sir,  
I will make you dissemble so methodically,  
As if the devil should be sent from the great Turk,  
In the shape of an Ambassador  
To set all the christian princes at variance.  Danc. 
I cannot with any modesty desire any more,  
There's your money sir,  Foco. 
For the art of dissembling.  Cox. 
My suit sir will be news to you when I tell it,  Foro. 
Pray on.  Cox. 
I would set up a press here in Italy,  
To write all the coranto for Christendom.  Foro. 
That's news indeed,  
And how would you employ me in't?  Cox. 
Marry sir, from you  
I would gain my intelligence.  Foro. 
I conceive you, you would have me furnish you  
With a spirit to inform you.  Cox. 
But as quiet a Devil as the woman,  
The first day and a half after she's married,  
I can by no means endure a terrible one.  Foro. 
No, no, I'll qualify him,  
He shall not fright you,  
It shall be the ghost of some lying Stationer,  
A Spirit shall look as if butter would not melt in his mouth, A new Mercurius Gallobelgicus.  Coxc. 
O there was a captain was rare at it,  Foro. 
ne'er think of him,  
Though that captain writ a full hand gallop,  
And wasted indeed more harmless paper then  
Ever did laxative Physic,  
Yet will I make you to out-scribble him,  
And set down what you please,  
The world shall better believe you.  Cox. 
Worthy sir I thank you, there's money.  Foro. 
A new office  
For writing pragmatical currantoes  Pedant. 
I am a schoolmaster sir,  
And would fain confer with you  
About erecting 4 new sects of religion at Amsterdam.  Foro. 
What the Devil should  
New sects of religion do there?  Pedaot. 
I assure you I would get  
A great deal of money by it.  Foro. 
And what are the 4 new sects  
Of religion you would plant there?  Ped. 
Why that's it I come about sir,  
'tis a Devil of your raising must invent 'em,  
I confess I am too weak to compass it.  Foro. 
So sir, than you make it a matter of no difficulty  
To have them tolerated.  Pedant. 
Trouble not yourself for that,  
Let but your Devil set them afoot once,  
I have Weavers, and Gingerbread makers,  
And mighty Aquavitae-men, shall set them a going.  Foro. 
This is somewhat difficult,  
And will ask some conference with the devil.  Ped. 
Take your own leisure sir,  
I have another business too, because I mean  
To leave Italy, and bury myself in those nether parts  
Of the low countries.  Foro. 
What's that sir.  Ped. 
Marry I would fain make 9 days to the week, for the more ample benefit of the captain.  Foro. 
You have a shrewd pate sir.  Ped. 
But how this might be compassed?  Foro. 
compassed easily; 'tis but making  
A new Almanac, and dividing the compass  
Of the year into larger pennyworths,  
As a Chandler with his compass makes  
A Geometric proportion of the Holland cheese  
He retails by stivers.  
But for getting of it licenced.  Ped. 
Trouble not yourself with that sir,  
There's your money,  Foro. 
For four new sects of religions,  
And 9 days to the week.  Ped. 
To be brought in at general pay-days,  
Write I beseech you.  Foro. 
At general pay-days.  Taylor. 
I am by profession a tailor,  
You have heard of me.  Foro. 
Yes sir, and will not steal from you  
The least part of that commendation I have heard uttered.  Taylor. 
I take measure of your worth sir,  
And because I will not afflict you with any large bill  
Of circumstances, I will snip off particulars.  
I would fain invent some strange  
And exquisite new fashions.  Foro. 
Are you not travelled sir.  Tay. 
Yes sir, but have observed all we can see  
Or invent are but old ones with new names to'em,  
Now I would some way or other grow more curious.  Foro. 
Let me see to devise new fashions.  
Were you never in the Moon?  Tay. 
In the Moon tavern! yes sir: often.  Foro. 
No, I do mean in the new world,  
In the world that's in the Moon yonder.  Tay. 
How? a new world i'th' moon?  Foro. 
Yes I assure you.  Tay. 
And peopled?  Foro. 
O most fantastically peopled.  Tay. 
Nay certain then there's work for tailors?  Foro. 
That there is I assure you.  Tay. 
Yet I have talked with a Scotch tailor  
That never discovered so much to me,  
Though he has travailed far, and was a pedlar in Poland.  Foro. 
That was out of his way,  
This lies beyond China,  
You would study new fashions you say?  
Take my council, make a voyage,  
And discover that new world.  Tay. 
Shall I be a moon-man?  Foro. 
I am of opinion, the people of that world  
(if they be like the nature of that climate they live in)  
Do vary the fashion of their clothes oftener than any  
Quicksilvered nation in Europe.  Tay. 
Not unlikely, but what should that be we call  
The man in the moon then?  Foro. 
Why 'tis nothing but an Englishman  
That stands there stark naked,  
With a pair of shires in one hand,  
And a great bundle of broad cloth in the other  
(Which resembles the bush of thorns)  
Cutting out of new fashions.  Taylor 
I have heard somewhat like this,  
But how shall I get thither?  Foro. 
I'll make a new compass shall direct you.  Tay. 
Certain?  Foro. 
Count me else for no man of direction.  Tay. 
There's 20 ducats in hand, at my return  
I'll give you a 100.  Foro. 
A new voyage to discover new fashions.  Mul. 
I have been a traveller too sir,  
That have showed strange beasts in Christendom,  
And got money by them, but I find the trade to decay.  
Your Chameleon, or East-Indian hedgehog  
Gets very little money, and your Elephant devours  
So much bread, brings in so little profit,  
His keeper were better every morning  
Cram 15 Tailors with white manchet,  
I would have some new spectacle,  
And one that might be more attractive.  Foro. 
Let me see, were you ever in Spain?  Mule. 
Not yet Sir.  Foro. 
I would have you go to Madrill, and against some great festival, when the court lies there, provide a great and spacious English Ox, and rode him whole, with a pudding in's belly; that would be the eight wonder of the world in those parts I assure you.  Mule. 
A rare project without question.  Foro. 
Go beyond all their garlic olla Podrithoes, though you sod one in Gargantua's cauldron, bring in more money, than all the monsters of Afrique.  Host. 
Good Sir do your best for him; he's of my acquaintance, and one if ye knew him—  Foro. 
What is he?  Host. 
He was once a man of infinite letters.  Foro. 
A Scholar?  Host. 
No sir, a packet carrier, which is always a man of many letters, yond know: than he was Mule-driver, now he's a gentleman, and feeds monsters.  Foro. 
A most ungrateful calling.  Mule. 
there's money for your direction; the price of the Ox Sir.  Foro. 
A hundred French crowns, for it must be a Lincolnshire Ox, and a prime one:  
For a rare and monstrous spectacle, to be seen at Madrill.  Enter Clown, Hostess, and Bianca. Hostes. 
Pray forbear sir, we shall have a new quarrel.  Clow. 
You durst not meet me i'th' field, I am therefore come to spoil your market.  Foro. 
What's the news with you sir.  Clow. 
Gentlemen, you that come hither to be most abominably cheated, listen, and be as wise as your planet will suffer you, keep your money, be not gulled, be not laughed at.  Pedant. 
What means this? would I had my money again in my pocket.  Host. 
The fellow is full of malice, do not mind him.  Clow. 
This professed cheating rogue was my master, and I confess myself a more preternotorious rogue than himself, in so long keeping his villainous counsel.  Foro. 
Come, come, I will not hear you.  Clow. 
No cozener, thou wouldest not hear me, I do but dare thee to suffer me to speak, and than thou and all thy devils spit fire, and spout Aqua fortis.  Foro. 
Speak on, I freely permit thee.  Clow. 
Why then know all you simple animals, you whose purses are ready to cast the calf, if they have not cast it already, if you give any credit this juggling rascal, you are worse than simple widgins, and will be drawn into the net by this decoy duck, this tame cheater.  Foro. 
Ha, ha, ha, pray mark him.  Clow. 
He does profess Physic, and conjuring; for his Physic; he has but two medicines for all manner of diseases; when he was i'th' low countries, he used nothing but buttered beer, coloured with Alicant, for all kind of maladies, and that he called his catholic medicine; sure the ducth smelled out it was buttered beer, else they would never have endured it for the name's sake: then does he minister a grated dogs turd instead of rhubarb, many times of unicorn's horn, which working strongly with the conceit of the Patient, would make them bescummer to the height of a mighty purgation.  Foro. 
The rogue has studied this invective.  Clow. 
Now for his conjuring, the witches of Lapland are the devil's charwomen to him, for they will sell a man a wind to some purpose; he sells wind, and tells you forty lies over and over.  Hostess. 
I thought what we should find of him.  Host. 
Hold your prating, be not you an heretic.  Clow. 
Conjure! I'll tell you, all the devil's names he calls upon, are but fustian names, gathered out of Welsh heraldry; in brief, he is a rogue of six reprieves, four pardons of course, thrice pilloried, twice sung Lacrymae to the Virginals of a cart's tail, h'as five times been in the Galleys, and will never truly run himself out of breath, till he comes to the gallows.  Foro. 
You have heard worthy gentlemen, what this lying detracting rascal has vomited.  Tay. 
Yes certain, but we have a better trust in you, for you have ta'en our money.  Foro. 
I have so, truth is he was my servant, and for some chastisement I gave him, he does practise thus upon me; speak truly sirrah, are you certain I cannot conjure?  Clow. 
Conjure! ha, ha, ha.  Foro. 
Nay, nay, but be very sure of it.  Clow. 
Sure of it? why I'll make a bargain with thee, before all these gentlemen, use all thy art, all thy roguery, and make me do any thing before all this company I have not a mind to, I'll first give thee leave to claim me for thy bond slave, and when thou hast done hang me.  Foro, 
'tis a match, sirrah, I'll make you caper i'th' air presently.  Clow. 
I have too solid a body, and my belief is like a Puritans on Good-Friday, too high fed with capon.  Foro. 
I will first send thee to Greek land for a haunch of venison, just of the thickness of thine own tallow.  Clow. 
Ha, ha, ha, I'll not stir an inch for thee.  Foro. 
Thence to Amboyna i'th' East indies, for pepper to bake it.  Clow. 
To Amboyna? so I might be peppered.  Foro. 
Then will I convey thee stark naked to Develing to beg a pair of brogs, to hide thy mountainous buttocks.  Clow. 
And no doublet to 'em?  Foro. 
No sir, I intend to send you of a sleeveless errand; but before you vanish, in regard you say I cannot conjure, and are so stupid, and opinionated a slave, that neither I, nor my art can compel you to do any thing that's beyond your own pleasure, the gentlemen shall have some sport; you cannot endure a cat sirrah?  Clow. 
What's that to thee juggler?  Foro. 
Nor you'll do nothing at my entreaty?  Clow. 
I'll be hanged first.  Foro. 
Sit Gentlemen, and whatsoever you see, be not frighted;  Hostess: 
Alas I can endure no conjuring.  Host: 
Stir not wife.  Bian: 
Pray let me go sir, I am not fit for these fooleries.  Host: 
Move not daughter.  For: 
I will make you dance a new dance called leapfrog.  Clown 
Ha, ha, ha.  Fro: 
And as naked as a frog.  Clown 
Ha, ha, ha, I defy thee.  Foro. looks in a book, strikes with his wand, Music plays. Enter 4. boys shaped like Frogs, and dance. Pedant: 
Spirits of the water in the likeness of frogs.  
Tay: he has fished fair believe me.  Mule: 
See, see, he sweats and trembles.  Foro: 
Are you come to your quavers?  Clow. 
Oh, oh, oh.  Foro. 
I'll make you run division on that o's ere I leave you; look you, here are the playfellows that are so endeared to you; come sir, first unease, and then dance, nay I'll make him dance stark naked.  Host. 
Oh let him have his shirt on, and his mogul's breeches, here are women i'th' house.  Foro. 
Well for their sakes he shall.  Clown tears off his doublet, making strange faces as if compelled to it, falls into the Dance. Tay. 
He dances, what a lying rogue was this to say the gentleman could not conjure?  Foro. 
He does prettily well, but 'tis voluntary, I assure you, I have no hand in't.  Clow. 
As you are a Conjurer, and a rare Artist, free me from these couplets; of all creatures I cannot endure a Frog.  Foro. 
But your dancing is voluntary, I can compel you to nothing.  Hostes. 
O me, daughter, let's take heed of this fellow, he'll make us dance naked, an' we vex him.  — Exeunt Hostess and Bianca. Foro. 
Now cut capers sirrah, I'll plague that chin of yours.  Clow. 
Oh, oh, oh, my kidneys are roasted, I drop away like a pound of butter roasted.  Tayl. 
He will dance himself to death.  Foro. 
No matter I'll sell his fat to the Pothecaries, and repair my injury that way.  Host. 
Enough in conscience.  Foro. 
Well, at your entreaty vanish. And now I will only make him break his neck in doing a summersault, and that's all the revenge I mean to take of him.  Clow. 
O gentlemen, what a rogue was I to belie so an approved Master in the noble dark science? you can witness, this I did only to spoil his practice and deprive you of the happiness of enjoying his worthy labours; rogue that I was to do it, pray sir forgive me.  Foro. 
With what face canst thou ask it?  Clow. 
With such a face as I deserve, with a hanging look, as all here can testify.  Foro. 
Well gentlemen, that you may perceive the goodness of my temper, I will entertain this rogue again in hope of amendment, for should I turn him off, he would be hanged.  Clow. 
You may read that in this foul copy.  Foro. 
Only with this promise, you shall never cozen any of my patients.  Clow. 
Never.  Foro. 
And remember hence forward, that though I cannot conjure, I can make you dance sirrah, go get yourself into the cottage again. — Enter Caesario.  Clow. 
I will never more dance leap Frog: now I have got you into credit, hold it up, and cozen them in abundance.  Foro. 
Oh rare rascal — Exit Clown.  Cesar. 
How now, a Frankford mart here, a mountebank, and his worshipful auditory.  Host. 
They are my guests Sir.  Cesar. 
A— upon them, show your juggling tricks in some other room.  Host, 
And why not here Sir?  Cesar. 
Hence, or sirrah I shall spoil your figure flinging, and all their radical questions.  Omnes 
Sir we vanish. — Exeunt. Manet Host. & Caesar.  Host. 
Signior Caesario, you make bold with me,  
And somewhat I must tell you to a degree  
of ill manners, they are my guests, and men I live by,  
And I would know by what authority  
You command thus far.  Cesar. 
By my interest in your daughter.  Host. 
Interest do you call't? as I remember I never put her out to Usury on that condition.  Cesar. 
Pray thee be not angry.  Enter Bianca and Hostess. Hostes. 
I am come to make thee happy, and her happy:  
she's here; alas my pretty soul, I am come  
To give assurance that's beyond thy hope,  
Or thy belief, I bring repentance 'bout me,  
And satisfaction, I will marry thee.  Bianca. 
Ha?  Caesar. 
As I live I will, but do not entertained  
With too quick an apprehension of joy,  
For that may hurt thee, I have heard some die of't,  Bian. 
Do not fear me.  Caesar 
Then thou think'st I feign  
This protestation, I will instantly  
Before this testimony, my new alliance,  
Contract myself unto thee, than I hope  
We may be more private.  Host. 
But thou shalt not sir,  
For so has many a maidenhead been lost, and many a bastard gotten,  Ces. 
Then to give you the best of any assurance in the world,  
Entreat thy father to go fetch a Priest  
we will instantly to bed, and there be married.  Bian. 
Pride hath not yet forsaken you I see,  
Though prosperity has.  Host. 
Sir you are too confident  
To fashion to yourself a dream of purchase  
When you are a beggar,  Ces. 
you are bold with me.  Hostes. 
Do we not know your value is cried down  
fourscore i'th' hundred.  Bian 
Oh sir I did love you  
With such a fixed heart, that in that minute  
Wherein you slighted, or contemned me rather,  
I took a vow to obey your last decree,  
And never more look up at any hope  
Should bring me comfort that way, and though since  
Your Foster-mother, and the fair Clarissa  
Have in the way of marriage despised you,  
That hath not any way bred my revenge,  
But compassion rather. I have found  
So much sorrow in the way to a chaste wedlock  
That here I will set down, and never wish  
To come toth' journey's end. Your suit to me  
Henceforth be ever silenced.  Cesar. 
My Bianca.  Hostes. 
Henceforward pray forbear her and my house:  
She's a poor virtuous wench, yet her estate  
May weigh with yours in a gold balance.  Host. 
Yes, and her birth in any Herald's office in Christendom.  Hostes. 
It may prove so:  
When you'll say, you have leapt a whiting. Exit.  Enter Baptista and Mentivole. Ces, 
How far am I grown behind hand with fortune?  Bap. 
Here's Cesario:  
My son sir is tomorrow to be married  
Unto the fair Clarissa,  Ces. 
So.  Ment. 
we hope you'll be a guest there?  Ces. 
No I will not grace your triumph so much.  Bap. 
I will not tax your breeding.  
But it altars not your birth sir, fare you well.  Ment. 
Oh sir do not grieve him,  
He has too much affliction already. Exeunt.  Enter a Sailor. Ces. 
Every way scorned and lost,  
Shame follow you  
For I am grown most miserable.  Sail. 
Sir do you know a Lady's son in town here  
They call Cesario?  Cesar. 
there's none such I assure thee;  Sail. 
I was told you were the man.  Cesar. 
What's that to thee?  Sail. 
A— on't. You are melancholy, will you drink Sir?  Cesar. 
With whom?  Sail. 
With me Sir; despise not this pitched Canvas; the time was we have known them lined with Spanish Ducats: I have news for you:  Cesar. 
For me!  Sail. 
Not unless you'll drink;  
We are like our Sea provision, once out of pickle,  
We require abundance of drink; I have news to tell you  
That were you Prince,  
Would make you send your mandate  
To have a thousand bonfires made i'th' City,  
And pissed out again with nothing but Greek wine.  Cesar. 
Come, I will drink with thee howsoever,  Sail. 
And upon these terms I will utter my mind to you. Exeunt.    

Actus Quintus  

Scaena prima.  Enter Alberoto, Prospero, Juliana, and Sailors. Sail. 
SHall we bring your necessaries ashore my Lord?  Alb. 
Do what you please, I am land-sick, worse by far  
Then ere I was at sea.  Pros. 
Collect yourself  Alber. 
O my most worthy Prospero, my best friend,  
The noble favour I received from thee  
In freeing me from the Turks I now account  
Worse than my death; for I shall never live  
To make requital; what do you attend for?  Sail. 
To understand your pleasure.  Alber. 
They do mock me;  
I do protest I have no kind of pleasure  
In any thing i'th' world, but in thy friendship,  
I must ever except that.  Pros. 
Pray leave him, leave him. — Exeunt Sailors.  Alber. 
The news I heard related since my landing  
Of the division of my Family,  
How is it possible for any man  
To bear't with a set patience?  Pros. 
You have suffered  
Since your imprisonment more weighty sorrows.  Alber. 
ay, than I was a man of flesh and blood,  
Now I am made up of fire, to the full height  
Of a deadly Calenture; o these vild women  
That are so ill preservers of men's honours,  
They cannot govern their own honesties.  
That I should thirty and odd winters feed  
My expectation of a noble heir,  
And by a woman's falsehood find him now  
A fiction, a mere dream of what he was;  
And yet I love him still.  Pros. 
In my opinion  
The sentence (on this trial) from the Duke  
Was noble, to repair cesarios' loss  
With the marriage of your wife, had you been dead.  Alber. 
By your favour but it was not, I conceive  
'twas disparagement to my name, to have my widow  
Match with a falconer's son, and yet believe't  
I love the youth still, and much pity him.  
I do remember at my going to Sea,  
Upon a quarrel, and a hurt received  
From young Mentivole, my rage so far  
o'ertopped my nobler temper, I gave charge  
To have his hand cut off, which since I heard,  
And to my comfort, brave Caesario,  
worthily prevented.  Pros. 
And 'twas nobly done.  Albert. 
Yet the revenge, for this intent of mine  
Hath bred much slaughter in our families,  
And yet my wife (which infinitely moans me)  
Intends to marry my sole heir Clarissa  
To the head branch of the other faction.  Pros. 
'tis the mean to work reconcilement.  Alber. 
Between whom?  Pros. 
yourself, and the worthy Baptista.  Alber. 
Never.  Pros. 
O you have been of a noble and remarkable friendship,  
And by this match 'tis generally in Florence  
Hoped, 'twill fully be reconciled; to me  
'Twould be absolute content.  julia. 
And to myself, I have main interest in it.  Alb. 
Noble Sir, you may command my heart to break for you  
But never to bend that way; poor Caesario  
When thou puffedst on thy mournful willow garland,  
Thy enemy shall be suited (I do vow)  
In the same livery, my Caesario  
Loved as my foster child, though not my son,  
Which in some countries formerly were barbarous,  
Was a name held most affectionate; thou art lost,  
Unfortunate young man, not only slighted  
Where thou received'st thy breeding, but since scorned  
i'th' way of marriage, by the poor Bianca  
The Innkeepers daughter.  Pros. 
I have heard of that too;  
But let not that afflict you; for this Lady  
May happily deliver at more leisure  
A circumstance may draw a fair event,  
Better than you can hope for.  
For this present we must leave you,  
And shall visit you again within these two hours.  — Enter Caesario. Albert. 
Ever to me most welcome,— O my Caesario.  Caesar. 
I am none of yours Sir, so 'tis protested;  
And I humbly beg,  
Since 'tis not in your power to preserve me  
Any longer in a noble course of life,  
Give me a worthy death.  Alber. 
The youth is mad.  Caesar. 
Nay Sir, I will instruct you in a way  
To kill me honourably.  Alber. 
That were most strange.  Caesar. 
I am turning Pirate, You may be employed  
By the Duke to fetch me in; and in a sea-fight  
Give me a noble grave.  Alber. 
Questionless he's mad; I would give any Doctor  
A thousand crowns to free him from this sorrow.  Caesar. 
Here's the Physician. — Shows a Poniard  Alber. 
Hold Sir, I did say  
To free you from the sorrow, not from life.  Caesar. 
Why life and sorrow are unseparable.  Alber. 
Be comforted Caesario, Mentivole  
Shall not marry Clarissa.  Caesar. 
No Sir, ere he shall, I'll kill him.  Alber. 
But you forfeit your own life then.  Caesar. 
That's worth nothing.  Alber. 
Caesario, be thyself, be mine Caesario,  
Make not thyself uncapable of that portion  
I have full purpose to confer upon thee;  
By falling into madness, bear thy wrongs  
With noble patience, the afflicted friend  
Which ever in all actions crown the end.  Ces. 
You well awake me; nay recovered me  
Both to sense and full life, o most noble sir,  
Though I have lost my fortune, and lost you  
For a worthy Father: yet I will not lose  
My former virtue, my integrity  
Shall not yet forsake me; but as the wild Ivy,  
spreads and thrives better in some piteous ruin  
Of tower, or defaced Temple, than it does  
Planted by a new building- so shall I  
Make my adversity my instrument  
To wind me up into a full content.  Alber. 
'tis worthily resolved; our first adventure  
Is to stop the marriage; for thy other losses,  
Practised by a woman's malice, but account them  
Like conjurers winds raised to a fearful blast,  
And do some mischief, but do never last. Exeunt.  Enter Forobosco and Clowne. Clow. 
Now sir, will you not acknowledge that I have mightily advancte your practice?  Forobos. 
'tis confessed, and I will make thee a great man for't.  Clow. 
I take a course to do that myself, for I drink sack in abundance.  Foro. 
O my rare rascal. We must remove.  Clow. 
Whither?  Foro. 
Any whither: Europe is too little to be cozened by us, I am ambitious to go to the East-Indies, thou and I to ride on our brace of Elephants.  Clow. 
And for my part I long to be in England again; you will never get so much as in England, we have shifted many countries, and many names: but trance the world over you shall never purse up so much gold as when you were in England, and called yourself Doctor Lamb-stones.  Foro. 
'twas an attractive name I confess, women were then my only admirers.  Clown 
And all their visits was either to further their lust, or revenge injuries.  Foro 
You should have forty in a morning beleaguer my closet, and strive who should be cozened first, amongst fourscore love-sick weighting women that has come to me in a morning to learn what fortune should betide them in their first marriage, I have found above 94 to have lost their maidenheads.  Clow. 
By their own confession, but I was fain to be your male midwife, and work it out of them by circumstance.  Foro. 
Thou wast, and yet for all this frequent resort of women and thy handling of their urinals and their cases, thou art not given to lechery, what should be the reason of it? thou hast wholesome flesh enough about thee; methinks the devil should tempt thee too't.  Clow. 
What need he do that, when he makes me his instrument to tempt others.  Foro. 
Thou canst not choose but utter thy rare good parts; thou wast an excellent bawd I acknowledge.  Clow. 
Well, and what I have done that way I will spare to speak of all you and I have done sir, and though we should—  Foro. 
We will for England, that's for certain.  Clow. 
We shall never want there.  Foro, 
Want? the Court of Wards shall want money first, for I profess myself Lord Paramount over fools and mad-folks.  Clow. 
Do but store yourself with lies enough against you come thither,  Foro. 
Why that's all the familiarity I ever had with the Devil, my gift of lying, they say he's the Father of lies, and though I cannot conjure, yet I profess myself to be one of his poor gossips. I will now reveal to thee a rare piece of service.  Clow. 
What is it my most worshipful Doctor Lambstones.  Foro. 
There is a Captain come lately from Sea,  
They call Prosper I saw him this morning  
Through a chink of wainscot that divides my lodging  
And the Host of the house, withdraw my Host, and Hostess, the fair Biancha, and an ancient gentlewoman into their bedchamber; I could not overhear their conference, but I saw such a mass of gold & jewels, & when he had done he lock it up into a casket; great joy there was amongst them & forth they are gone into the city, and my Host told me at his going forth he thought he should not return till after supper; now sir, in their absence will we fall to our picklocks, enter the chamber, seize the jewels, make an escape from Florence, and we are made for ever.  Clow. 
But if they should go to a true conjurer, and fetch us back in a whirl wind?  Foro. 
Do not believe there is any such fetch in Astrology, and this may be a means to make us live honest hereafter.  Clow. 
'tis but an ill road too't that lies through the high way of thieving.  Foro. 
For indeed I am weary of this trade of fortune-telling, and mean to give all over, when I come into England, for it is a very ticklish quality.  Clow. 
And i'th' end will hang by a twine thread.  Foro. 
Besides the Island has too many of the profession, they hinder one another's market.  Clow. 
No, no, the pillory hinders their market.  Foro. 
You know there the juggling captain.  Clow. 
I there's a sure card.  Foro. 
Only the foreman of their jury is dead, but he died like a Roman.  Clow. 
Else 'tis thought he had made work for the hangman.  Foro. 
And the very Ball of your false prophets, he's quashed too.  Clow. 
He did measure the stars with a false yard, and may now travail to Rome with a mortar on's head to see if he can recover his money that way.  Foro. 
Come, come, let's fish for this casket, and to Sea presently.  Clow. 
We shall never reach London I fear;  
My mind runs so much of hangging landing at wapping.  Enter Mariana. Exeunt. 
This well may be a day of joy long wished for  
To my Clarissa, she is innocent.  
Nor can her youth but with an open bosom  
Meet Hymen's pleasing bounties, but to me  
That am environed with black guilt and horror  
It does appear a funeral though promising much  
in the conception were hard to manage  
But sad in the event, it was not hate  
But fond indulgence in me to preserve  
cesarios' threatened life in open court  
That forced me to disclaim him, choosing rather  
To rob him of his birthright, and honour  
Then suffer him to run the hazard of  
enraged Baptista's fury, while he lives;  
I know I have a son, and the Duke's sentence  
A while deluded, and this tempest over,  
When he assures himself despair hath seized him.  Knock within. Enter Baptista. 
I can relieve and raise him— speak, who is it  
That presses on my privacies? Sir your pardon.  
You cannot come unwelcome, though it were  
To read my secret thoughts.  Bap. 
Lady to you  
Mine shall be ever open; Lady said I,  
That name keeps too much distance, sister rather  
I should have styled you, and I now may claim it,  
Since our divided families are made one  
By this blessed marriage; to whose honour comes  
The Duke in person, waited on by all  
The braveries of his court, to witness it,  
And then to be our guests, is the bride ready  
To meet and entertain him?  Maria. 
She attends the coming of your son.  Bap. 
Pray you bring her forth.  
The Dukes at hand— Music in her loud voice,  
Speaks his arrival.  Maria. 
she's prepared to meet it. — Exit.  Enter Mariana, Clarissa led by two Maids: at the other door, Baptista meets with Mentivole, led by two Courtiers, the Duke, Bishop; divers Attendants: (A Song) whilst they salute. Duke 
It were impertinent to wish you joy,  
Since all joys dwell about you, Hymen's torch  
Was never slighted with a luckier omen,  
Nor burned with so much splendour, to defer  
With fruitless compliment, the means to make  
Your certain pleasures lawful to the world;  
Since in the union of your hearts they are  
Confirmed already: would but argue us  
A boaster of our favours; to the Temple  
And there the sacred knot once tIED, all triumphs  
Our Dukedom can afford, shall grace your nuptials.  Enter Alberto and Caesario. Bap. 
On there.  Ment. 
I hope it is not in the power  
Of any to cross us now.  Alber. 
But in the breath  
Of a wronged Father I forbid the bands.  Cesar. 
What, do you stand at gaze?  Bap. 
Risen from the dead!  Maria. 
Although the sea had vomited up the figure  
In which thy better part lived long imprisoned,  
True love despising fear, runs thus to meet it.  Claris. 
In duty I kneel to it.  Alber. 
Hence vile wretches,  
To you I am a substance incorporeal,  
And not to be profaned, with your vile touch?  
That could so soon forget me, but such things  
Are neither worth my anger, nor reproof.  
To you great sir, I turn myself and these  
Immediate Ministers of your government,  
And if in my rude language I transgress;  
Ascribe it to the cold remembrance of  
My services, and not my rugged temper.  Duke. 
Speak freely, be thy language ne'er so bitter,  
To see thee safe Alberto, signs thy pardon.  Alber. 
My pardon? I can need none, if it be not  
Received for an offence. I tamely bear  
Wrongs, which a slave-born Muscovite would check at.  
Why if for treason I had been delivered  
Up to the hangman's Axe, and this dead trunk  
Unworthy of a Christian Sepulchre;  
Exposed a prey to feed the ravenous vulture,  
The memory of the much I oft did for you,  
Had you but any touch of gratitude,  
Or thought of my deservings, would have stopped you  
From these unjust proceedings.  Duke. 
Hear the motives that did induce us.  Alber. 
I have heard them all,  
Your highness' sentence, the whole Court abused,  
By the perjuries, and practice of this woman.  
(we pest thou Crocodile) my hopeful son,  
Whom I dare swear mine own, degraded of  
The honours that descend to him from me:  
And from that in his love scorned by a creature  
Whose base birth though made eminent by her beauty,  
Might well have marked her out Cesario's servant,  
All this I could have pardoned and forgot;  
But that my daughter with my whole estate  
So hardly purchased, is assigned a dower;  
To one whose Father, and whose family  
I so detest; that I would lose my essence  
And be transformed to a Basilisk  
To look them dead, to me's an injury,  
Admits no satisfaction.  Bap. 
there's none offered.  Alber. 
Nor would not be accepted,  
Though upon thy knees 'twere tendered.  Maria. 
Now the storm grows high.  Bap. 
But that I thought thee dead, and in thy death  
The briny Ocean had entombed thy name;  
I would have sought a wife in a Bordello  
For my Mentivole, and gladly hugged  
Her spurious Issue as my lawful Nephews,  
Before his blood should ere have mixed with thine;  
So much I scorn it.  Alber. 
I'll not bandy words, but thus dissolve the contract.  Bap. 
There I meet thee, and seize on what's mine own.  Alber. 
For all my service,  
Great Sir grant me the combat with this wretch,  
That I may scourge his insolence.  Baptist. 
I kneel for it.  Caesar. 
And to approve myself Alberto's son,  
I'll be his second upon any odds,  
'gainst him that dare most of Baptista's race.  Menti. 
Already upon honourable terms,  
In me thou hast met thy better, for her sake  
I'll add no more.  Alber. 
Sir, let our swords decide it.  Maria. 
O stay Sir, and as you would hold the title  
Of a just Prince, ere you grant licence to  
These madmen's fury, lend your private ear  
To the most distressed of women.  Duke. 
Speak, 'tis granted. He takes Mariana aside.  Clar. 
In the mean time, let not Clarissa be  
A patient looker on, though as yet doubtful,  
To whom to bend her knee first, yet to all  
I stoop thus low in duty, and would wash  
The dust of fury with my Virgin tears,  
From his blessed feet, and make them beautiful  
That would move to conditions of peace,  
Though with a snail like pace, they all are winged  
To bear you to destruction: reverend sirs,  
Think on your ancient friendship cemented  
With so much blood, but shed in noble action,  
Divided now in passion for a brawl;  
The makers blush to own, much loved Caesario.  
Brother, or friend, (each title may prevail,)  
Remember with what tenderness from our childhood  
we loved together, you preferring me  
Before yourself, and I so fond of you  
That it begot suspicion in ill minds  
That our affection was incestuous.  
Think of that happy time, in which I know  
That with your dearest blood you had prevented  
This shower of tears from me Mentivole,  
My husband, registered in that bright star-chamber,  
Though now on earth made strangers, be the example  
And offer in one hand the peaceful Olive  
Of concord, or if that can be denied  
By powerful intercession in the other  
Carry the Hermian rod and force atonement,  
Now we will not be all marble. Death's the worst then  
And he shall be my bridegroom, offers to kill herself  Ment. 
Hold Clarissa, his loving violence needs must  
Offer inspite of honour — he snatches away her knife and sets it to his own breast, she stays his hand.  Duke. 
Was it to that end then on your religion?  Mar. 
And my hope in heaven Sir.  Duke. 
we then will leave entreaties, and make use  
Of our authority, must I cry ay me  
To this unheard of insolence? in my presence  
To draw your swords, and as all reverence  
That's due to majesty were forfeited,  
cherish this wilderness! sheathe them instantly,  
and show an alteration in your looks, or by my power  Alber, 
Cut of my head  Bapt. 
And mine, rather than hear of peace with this bad man.  
I'll not alone give up my throat, but suffer  
Your rage to reach my family.  Enter Prospero, juliana, Biancha. Alb. 
And my name to be no more remembered.  Duke. 
What are these?  Caes. 
Biancha, 'tis Biancha, still Biancha: but strangely altered.  Bapt. 
If that thirteen years  
Of absence could raze from my memory  
The figure of my friend, I might forget thee;  
But if thy Image be graven on my heart,  
Thou art my Prospero.  Pros. 
Thou my Baptista?  Duke. 
A sudden change!  Bap. 
I dare not ask dear friend  
If Juliana live! for that's a blessing  
I am unworthy of, but yet deny not  
To let me know the place she hath made happy  
By having there her sepulchre.  Pros. 
If your highness please to vouchsafe a patient  
Ear we shall make a true relation of a story  
That shall call on your wonder.  Duke. 
Speak, we hear you.  Pros. 
Baptista's Fortune in the Genoa court,  
His banishment, with his fair wife's restraint  
You are acquainted with; what since hath followed  
I faithfully will deliver, ere eight moons  
After Baptista's absence were complete,  
Fair Juliana found the pleasures that  
They had enjoyed together were not barren,  
And blushing at the burden of her womb,  
No father near to own it, it drew on  
A violent sickness, which called down compassion  
From the angry Duke, then careful of her health.  
Physicians were enquired of, and their judgement  
Prescribed the Baths of Luca as a means  
For her recovery; to my charge it pleased her  
To be committed; but as on the way  
we journeyed, those throws only known to women  
Came thick upon her, in a private village.  Bap. 
she died?  Pros. 
Have patience, she brought to the world  
A hopeful daughter; for her Body's sickness  
It soon decayed, but the grief of her mind  
Hourly increased, and life grew tedious to her,  
And desperate ere to see you; she enjoined me  
To place her in a Greekish Monastery,  
And to my care gave up her pretty daughter.  Bapt. 
What monastery? as a Pilgrim barefoot,  
I'll search it out.  Pros. 
Pray you interrupt me not,  
Now to my fortunes; the girl well disposed off  
With a faithful friend of mine, my cruel fate  
Made me a prisoner to the Turkish galleys,  
Where for 12 years, these hands tugged at the oar,  
But fortune tired at length with my afflictions,  
Some ships of Malta met the ottoman fleet,  
Charged them and boarded them, and gave me freedom  
With my deliverers I served, and got  
Such reputation with the great Master  
That he gave me command over a tall  
And lusty ship, where my first happy service  
Was to redeem Alberto rumoured dead,  
But was like me surprised by Cortugogly.  Alber. 
I would I had died there.  Pros. 
And from him learning  
Baptista lived, and their dissolved friendship,  
I hoist up sails for Greece, found juliana  
A votary at her beads; having made known  
Both that you lived, and where you were, she borrowed  
So much from her devotion as to wish me  
To bring her to you; if the object please you,  
With joy receive her.  Bapt. 
Rage and fury leave me- throws away his sword  
I am so full of happiness, there's no room left  
To entertain you, O my long lost jewel,  
Light of mine eyes, my soul's strength.  Julia. 
My best Lord, having Embraced you thus,  
Death cannot fright me.  Bapt. 
Live long to do so though I should fix here.  
Pardon me Prospero though I inquire my daughter's fortune.  Pros. 
That your happiness  
May be at all parts perfect, here she is!  Caes. 
Biancha daughter to a princess.  Pros. 
True with my faithful Host I left her,  
And with him till now she hath resided,  
Ignorant both of her birth and greatness.  Bap. 
O my blessed one. joy upon joy overwhelms me.  Duke. 
Above wonder.  Alb. 
I do begin to melt too, this strange story  
Works much upon me.  Duke 
Since it hath pleased heaven  
To grace us with this miracle, I that am  
heaven's instrument here, determine thus; Alberto  
Be not unthankful for the blessings shown you,  
Nor you Baptista; discord was yet never  
A welcome sacrifice; therefore rage laid by,  
Embrace as friends, and let passed difference  
Be as a dream forgotten.  Bap. 
'tis to me.  Alber. 
And me, and thus confirm it.  Duke. 
And to tie it  
In bonds not to be broken, with the marriage  
Of young Mentivole, and fair Clarissa,  
So you consent great Lady, your Biancha  
Shall call Caesario Husband.  julia. 
'tis a motion I gladly yield too.  Caesar. 
One in which you make a sad man happy. Offers to kneel.  Bian. 
Kneel not, all forgiven.  Duke. 
With the Duke your Uncle I will make atonement, and will have no denial.  Enter Host, Forobosco, Clown and Officers. Mar. 
Let this day be still held sacred.  Host. 
Now if you can conjure, let the Devil unbind you,  Foro. 
we are both undone,  Clow. 
Already we feel it.  Host. 
justice sir,  Duke. 
What are they?  Pros. 
I can resolve you, slaves freed from the Galleys  
By the Viceroy of Sicilia.  Duke. 
What's their offence?  Host. 
The robbing me of all my plate and jewels,  
I mean the attempting of it,  Clow. 
Please your grace I will now discover this varlet in earnest, this honest pestilent rogue, professed the art on conjuring, but all the skill that ever he had in the black art was in making a seacole fire; only with wearing strange shapes he begot admiration amongst fools and women.  Foro. 
Wilt thou preach thou varlet?  Duke. 
Why does he goggle with his eyes, and stalk so?  Clow. 
This is one of his Magical raptures.  Foro. 
I do vilify your censure, you demand if I am guilty, whir says my cloak by a trick so legerdemain, now I am not guilty, I am guarded with innocence, pure silver lace I assure you.  Clow. 
Thus have I read to you your virtues, which notwithstanding I would not have you proud of.  Foro. 
Out thou concealment of tallow, and counterfeit Mummia.  Duke. 
To the Galleys with them both.  Clow. 
The only sea physic for a knave in to be basted in a galley with the oil of a bull's pizzle.  Foro. 
And will not you make a sour face at the same sauce, sirrah? I hope to find thee so lean, in one fortnight thou mayest be drawn by the ears through the hoop of a firkin.  Duke, 
Divide them and away with them toth' Galleys.  Clow. 
This will take down your pride juggler.  Duke. 
This day that hath given birth to blessings; beyond hope, admits no criminal sentence, to the Temple and there with humbleness praise heavens bounties;  
For blessings ne'er descend from thence, but when  
A sacrifice in thanks ascends from men. Exeunt omnes.    
FINIS.   

THE prologue.  
Plays have their fates, not as in their true sense  
They're understood, but as the influence  
Of idle custom madly works upon  
The dross of many tongued opinion.  
A worthy story, howsoever writ  
For language, modest mirth, conceit or wit,  
Meets often times with the sweet commendation  
Of hang't, 'tis scurvy, when for approbation  
A jig shall be clapped at, and every rhyme  
Praised and applauded by a clamorous chime.  
Let Ignorance and laughter dwell together,  
They are beneath the muse's pity. Hither  
Come nobler judgements, and to those the strain  
Of our invention is not bent in vain.  
The fair Maid of the inn to you commends  
Her hopes and welcomes, and withal intends  
In th' Entertains to which she doth invite ye,  
All things to please, and some things to delight ye.