A LECTURE Held Forth at the Calves-Head Feast Before a Society of Olivarians & Roundheads, At the White L— n in CORNHILL, On the Thirtieth of January, 1691/2. In Contempt of the Martyrdom of King Charles I.  
By Dan. Bergice.  
LONDON, Printed for C. G. 1692.   

A LECTURE Held Forth at the Calves-Head Feast, etc.  
In the Thirteenth Spoke of a Cartwheel you shall find these words written, Calves-Head and Bacon.  
THIS is the day (my Beloved) on which we Annually Sunder ourselves together, to Triumph in the Conquest we this day made over him that exalted himself to Dethrone us The Chosen of the World: And since nothing is esteemed more fit to rub up your Treacherous Memories, than the Representation of the thing signified. I have therefore thought fit (my Brethren) to insist upon these words, and rattle in your Ears (even as a Company of Drums do at the Window of a new married Couple) my most secret Cogitations concerning the Premises.  
This Calf's Head is a Hieroglifick, or secret Representation of a thing, and here it represents that of its own likeness, viz. a Head. Now you are not Ignorant, I am sure, that a thing without a Head looks Simply. I have sometimes been told that my Discourse has had neither Head nor Tail; well what then, it has had the more Guts and Heart, and a Swinging Fat Carcase. But here, contrary to my former Custom, I have only chose the Head, as thinking it the most Noble Part, being filled with Brains, my Beloved; yea these very Brains being made palatable with the Vinegar of Affliction, may whet the Stomaches of our Conscience, and beget us an Appetite to, and longing after Holy things; this is the True and Holy Appetite, and not as some of us do, to long for a Harlot, who will long for Treats and Money, and at last bring you the Crinkums', whether you long for them or no; you may long to be cured, but you may chance to go to your long Home first.  
2. There is a Vexatious Longing, when new married Women humbly Conceive in Winter, they are very subject to long for Summer Fruit, altogether impossible to come at, and therefore they long for it, on purpose to put their Husbands to charge, and their Friends to trouble: But I say let them eat nothing but Calf's Head and Bacon.  
3. As there are Longings, so there are Loathe, that is, when Satan has clogged the Stomach of the Inward Man, with Fat Dabs' and Greasy Bits of Pleasure and Voluptuousness, that he can digest nothing that is good, but the Lean Calf's Head of Meekness, eaten with the Bacon of Understanding, will never rise in the Stomach and cause Pukeing, which Teeming Girls are troubled with.  
4. There is a very bad Loathing when Man and Wife Loath one another's Conversation; nothing follows but Care and Distraction, Sorrow and Woe, Trouble and Torment, Anguish and Pain, perpetual Slavery, the Devil upon two Sticks, the House goes out o'th' Windows, and the whole Family is Damned as Black as Buttermilk: Now my Advice to such is, that they would agree Civilly, be quiet for the future, and sit down lovingly like Neighbours Children, and make themselves Merry with a Calf's Head and Bacon.  
5. There is a Loathing of all that's good, and that is none of the best.  
6. There is a Loathing and Longing joined together, that is, when a Man loathes to come to a Meeting, and longs to go to a Bawdy-house; but my Friends, Satan has a great Share in such a Man, therefore I leave him, by him to be buffeted, not thinking him worthy to come to our Feast of Calf's Head and Bacon.  
7. When a Man Loathes Monarchy, and Longs for a Commonwealth, that we may Govern Higgledy Piggledy all over our own Heads: This is that which I recommend to you.  
Brethren, this Calves-Head Feast, as the World calls it, is held amongst us, The Chosen of Israel, for a Memorandum, and to Congratulate each other for that Blessed Action in Lopping off the Head of Charles I. after we had been long Soused in the Powdering-Tub of Affliction, when our Hearts failed us, and our Souls were filled with Emptiness: Let us rejoice in this, that our Actions are Recorded, and are as a Living Monument to Eternize our Names for so Brave (tho' counted an Impious) Action. I say, let us be glad in this (even as a Sea-man's Wife is, when her Husband is gone a Two Years Voyage) let us not quench the Spirit, but with loud and repeated Huzza's of inward Praises of the Renowned Oliver, let us celebrate this day, let us Sing Old Rose and burn the Bellows, Triumphing over our Dear Beloved Calf's Head and Bacon.  
When I look upon the Lively Emblem of our Sorrows this Calf's Head, it makes me melt into Rapture (even as a Bride on the Marriage night) not for any Remorse of Conscience which I feel dispersed from the lower Deck of my Soul, but for thoughts of past Actions, I Bless that Divine Fabric Oliver, who knocked down the Church like an Ox, cut the Throat of Monarchy like a Hog, and took off the Head of his Prince like a Calf, and at last his Horns were exalted above the rest of his Brethren. This I say causes my Soul to Rejoice, and is a very great Support to my Inward Man; I suppose you are sensible that I know on which side my Bread is Buttered, I can see as far into a Millstone as another can put his Finger, for what can be ill that is guided by the Inward Man? Something has some Savour, a Bit in the Morning is better than nothing all day, and whoever says that Calf's Head and Bacon is not good Prog, they Lie Beloved; yea, they Lie Abominably. But what says the World of me: Why truly the Sons of Belial have been very busy, and used my Name as a Cloak for, and Author of Preposterous Holding Forth; but let that pass, I am what I am, a real Lover of Calf's Head and Bacon.  
Now my Beloved, the Text being short, and not consisting of many words, I shall endeavour to divide it by Letters, and explain it according to Art, Calf's Head and Bacon: C Cromwell, A always, L loved, V very much, E Extempore Prayer, S such, H Heavenly-mindedness, E evermore, A attended that, D diligent Hero. A Accordingly he, N never, D durst, B behold, A any Loyal thing, C committed O on his part, N nor no bodies else. Thus, my Beloved, I have divided the Text, which put together make a Sentence, and the Sentence expounded right would fill a Volume, so that for aught I can see the Text is very Proper, and to the Unlearned Intricate, but to me as plain as a pike Staff.  
From which words we may draw these Inferences: 1. That as that Holy Champion loved Extempore Prayer, it infers that he abhorred a Form which should teach us to be ware of a Form— a Form! Did I say Out upon't, a Form! No, no, it is that rotten Form that upholds a Form of Government contrary to our Principles.  
2. That a Commonwealth is the only easy Method for us Sinful Men, and that we should not so much as harbour a contrary thought, for it is that Government which is most agreeable to Calf's Head and Bacon. Government (my Friends) should be like Ignis fatuus, or Will in a Whisp, that is, without a Head; but than you'll say, how should the Tail be guided? Oh no matter, as we would have no Head, so we would have no Tail only a Body, and let every Man Rule; this was the Method in Oliver's time: Tho this I say too, that a Head is necessary to every thing else, I am Head of this Congregation of Calf's Heads, every one of you are the Heads of your Families, unless your Wives wear the Breeches; and it is as necessary to have a Head to a Bed, as to have a handle to a Pipkin, which cannot be managed without. 1. The Head is commonly answerable to the Body of a thing, but what is one Head to the Body of a Nation. This, my Beloved, I know not, no nor a Horse that has a bigger Head than I. My Beloved, a Calf's Head is an excellent thing; In the first place it serves for us to Triumph over. 2. The Brains whet our Stomaches; and 3. The Meat fills them, and the Bones serve our Dogs for a Dinner; so that in a Calf's Head nothing is lost but what goes away in Boiling, and that makes Broth too: The Ears show us that we ought to hear the Word with all Diligence; the Eyes declare that we should discern between this and that, and see what's what: The Nose may serve to show us, that we ought to Smell where abouts we are, and follow that which is Good by the Scent, even as a Cat does a Mouse, or a Bloodhound one that has Robbed a Hen-roost: The Tongue may tell or show us, that we ought to Bleat or Roar abroad sound Doctrine in the Ears of the Sleepy World, even as a Calf does just before Milking-time: The Teeth show us, that we should By't and Pinch our Adversaries in the Bud, even as a Monkey does a Louse, or a Rigid Lawyer a Profuse Client; but since it is so that all Lawyers be K—ves, the best Council that I can give you, is to make your Pudding- bag widest at the top.  
I have now done with the Calf's Head and come to the Bacon, as a thing inseparable from it: Bacon is as much as to say Hogs-flesh in a Smoky Sense; now what piece is most proper to Boyl with the Head of a Calf, has been much disputed amongst the Learned, though I am clearly for the Tail Chine, that the Head and Tail may go together: Bacon is Fat, which shows us that we should Thrive, and grow Fat in good Works, and hearing of the Word: The Lean may inform us, that in all our Fat Pleasures we should here and there mix a Stripe of Lean Afflictions; or as one of our Learned Brothers will have it, it teaches us to eat Bread with Fat Bacon, and not like Cats and Dogs that always eat Meat alone: The Rind of the Bacon may show us, that we should be Tough and Hardy in all Persecutions and Troubles, and defend us from Violent Blows of Affliction by the Bristles of our Faith; let us suffer ourselves to be ringed, viz. Chained, and put into a Sty with Swine, that is, into a Prison with Vagabonds, and there Fatted (i. e.) eat Bread and Water, Be brought out and have our Throats Cut (i. e.) suffer even to Death; then shall we have the Honour to be eaten with a Calf's Head (i. e.) we shall be remembered after Death. This I speak with reference to the Sire of the Steward of this Feast, that Vessel of Clay, who sat as Judge, and was one of those Fleet Judges that Condemned his Prince to the Fury of Wood (i. e.) to loose his Head on a Scaffold. This very place where we Yearly meet, I have Sanctified to you, the Sign is an Emblem of the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, though I never heard what colour that Lion was, yet 'tis very probable it was White, as this is. Think not, O Beloved, that I speak this of myself, or by the Instigation of the Evil one, but from the Dictates of the Inward Man, who has Revealed these things to me, in behalf of a Weak and Unbelieving Sister here present; yet now I talk of a Sister, methinks the Outward Man gets ground, and I feel him Swell and grow Stiff, much resembling the Horn of Antichrist, methinks he thrusts forth his Gills and shows his Nose above Water. Yet, my Beloved, say not Antichrist, for he has his share in the Castoffs of the World, and not in us the Chosen People; I rather think this Outward Insurrection to proceed from an Inward Cause, heated and raised up by an Holy Flame of Fraternal Love, when my Bowels yearned towards her my Sister; some advise to take a Glass of Tent, and a newlaid Egg: Now, my Beloved, this I learned of the Children of Darkness, for they are grown more Wise in their Generation than the Children of Light: But after all, there is nothing like a Calf's Head and Bacon: Let us beg for something above, to drop down upon this little Willow (i. e.) our Church, that in time it may grow up to be a Sturdy Oak, to be Sawed out into Deal Board's to Wainscot the Walls of the New-Jerusalem. Yet let the World do as they will, I say still that the Head of a Calf, and the Tail-Chine of a Hog is good Victuals.  
Beloved, There are eight things which are an Abomination to mine Eyes, a Surplice, a Common-Prayer-Book, a Gown and Cassock, a Young Handsome Girl without a Husband, or Married to an Old Doting Fool; an Old Woman Married to a Young Man; a Sister Married to one of the World, or a Feast without Calf's Head and Bacon. There is likewise five things past my finding out, The way of a Brother and Sister in the midst of a Holy Flame; The way of a Constable Nabbing a Bully; The way of a Harlot Cheating a Cully; The way of a Woman when her Husband is out of Town; And the way of a Pickpocket in a Fair; these things are wonderful in mine Eyes. I have often compared the Wicked with us, and find as much difference, as between an Apple and a Nut; they are just like blind Bayard, that sees no better in the Light than in the Dark, Rambles about, and at last tumbles Headlong into a deep Ditch, where he is utterly lost for ever and ever: Let your Eyes be set towards your Resting place, those Sweet Elysium Groves, where gentle Breeses of whispering Gales shall Lull you into Ecstasies in the Brinks of Heavenly Springs, where Silver Streams run Murmuring along, Tattleing in Charming Notes; this is the place prepared for us where we shall have no more occasion for Calf's Head and Bacon. Leave the World to the Children of it, and steer your Course after me, with Weeping Eyes, even as a Child that cries after the Nipple. I desire you to be mindful of the Main Chance, observe the Dictates of the Inward Man, be satisfied with your Estates and content with such things as you have, even as a Cat that lies Snug in a warm Ash-heap, when all the Family is in Bed, thinking no body harm. Oh you that hear me this day, be Mindful, Weep, Howl, and throw your Snot about, and be Sorry for your Offences: When I consider the Stubbornness of your Necks, Hardness of your Hearts, and great Unbelief, it makes me almost resolve to leave you to be buffeted by the Evil One, and seek out some other Flock that will obey my Hallow, and will know my Dog: Here is the Father against the Son, and the Son against the Father; the Mother against the Daughter, and she against the Maid; some for Peter, some for Paul, and the most for you don't know who: You are Headstrong, Perverse and Unweily, Rugged, Ruffianlike, Base and Degenerate, Ill-natured and Cruel, Hardhearted, Dubious, nay Incredulous and Unchristian, and for that reason I could find in my Heart to leave you, for indeed what should I stay with you for? Yet now I think on't I won't, perhaps you may grow better when you have filled your Bellies with Calf's Head and Bacon. Nevertheless endeavour to reform yourselves, Watch and Pray, be Dutiful to your Superiors, Affable to your Inferiors; Love your Neighbor's Wife as you love him; and love him as you love yourself; let all things be done in order, in ample manner, in the form of a Cheesecake; let your Words be seasoned with Salt and a very little Pepper: I entreat this of you for my own sake, that it may not be said of me when I am gone, I sheared your Fleeces, yet left you uncured of the Scab. I have been as Concise as I could in my Discourse, I shall add no more till the next Year, only this, that I would have you mindful to get Dinner on the Table, for now my Stomach serves for Calf's Head and Bacon.  
FINIS.