News from COLCHESTER▪ In a Letter to a dear Friend (an honest WHIG) At LONDON.  
Dear WHIG,  
YOU cannot imagine, with what astonishment the People of Colchester were struck, when they read the last Week, in Thompson's Weekly News, called the Loyal Protestant, and true Domestic Intelligence, published August 9 1681. this Whisking Lie, in these very Words: namely, Colchester August 6. Mr. Hickeringil, of late famous for his abuse of the Church, is now fallen under the Common-Law, which has convicted him of a certain Crime, called by the same Law Perjury; Sir George Jefferies managing the Complaint at the Suit of the King.  
What Fury, what Madness possessed this Wretch! That for the Solace of a Lie for one Week only, should thus ruin himself and his Family (for that will certainly be the fatal Consequence) only in hope (and the only way in the World) to wound Mr. Hickeringill's Reputation all England over, for a Week (I say) or two? (for longer he could not expect such a groundless Lie should pass currant Incognito, and undiscovered.)  
As for Sir George Jefferys (that the Fellow quotes) as the Manager of the Complaint at the Suit of the King; His Majesty (I am sure) can give that good Man no Privilege (under his Umbrage and Authority) to abuse his Subjects at the Suit of the King, who is so good and just, that he had rather any of his Subjects prosecuted in his Name (by Form of Law) should rather appear Innocent upon Trial, than Guilty.  
Indeed, Sir George Jefferys did use his Wits to make Mr. Hickeringill be convict of Barratry (forsooth) when as much Folly as Malice appeared in the Prosecution; yet the two Bum-Bayliffs, two of the Witnesses against Mr. Hickeringill, did their part, and swore home, but that the disappointment was, they swore too home, they had not conned their Lesson well, they over-did their Parts, they swore against Records then and there produced in Court, to their Shame (if they had any.)  
But to give Sir George J●ff●rys his due▪ his Heart is still good▪ and he did his good Will (the last Assizes at Chelmsford, held for the County of Essex) in persuading, exhorting, exciting, and stirring up a Man at Chelmsford to bring an Information for Perjury against Mr. Hickeringill; which if he would, Sir George Jefferys promised to manage it, and plead it, and he would not ask the Man one Penny for a Fee; (how unusually kind some Men are to vend their Malice, which always falls heavy upon their own Pates!)  
Nay, It is well for Mr. Hickeringill, if Witnesses be not procured against him, to swear Crimes of worse Consequence than Perjury; some such Design is now in hatching, (since he published his Sermon of Man-catching) God bless us all from the Brood of them! 
This Horse-Leach that for Blood doth thirst,  
Shall have his Belly full, and burst.   
And yet Sir George Jefferys cannot but know that, for the King's Counsel to maintain Suits to vex the King's Subjects, in the King's Name, and under colour of his Authority, is expressly against 1 Edw. 3. 14. 20 Edw. 3. 4. 5. 1 Rich. 2. 4. made purposely against the wicked Conspiracies of great Men, The King's Councelors, Officers and Servants, expressly mentioned in those Statutes.  
But what signifies a Cob-Web-Statute to Men of great Place and Power, whose Faith and Hope is in a Noli Prosequi?  
Good! very good! let them go on: All the Noli prosequi's in the World cannot protect them against an Action of Slander, or Conspiracy at any private Man's Suit. Let them beat their Heads together then, and give them Rope enough, they shall need no worse Enemies, nor worse Counsellors, than their own Malice; 'twill ruin them at long-run, let them be never so Cocksure, and Cock-a-hoop.  
For no Judge nor Justice in England can be safe in attesting the Affidavits made before them, and attested and subscribed by the Man that makes the Affidavit, (which is Mr. Hickeringill's very Case) if shabby Rascals shall afterwards deny upon Oath, what they formerly swore and attested under their own hands, in presence of many credible Witnesses.  
If such a Judge or Justice (when required legally) do not attest, that such Affidavit, so subscribed, was made before him, he must be perjured; and if he does, belike he shall be perjured too, if some Men have the Management, and the Villain swear Counter afterwards; especially if he get another Chapman or two like himself, to back his Rancounter-Oath: Nè Hercules contra duos. Such Rascals, that ordinarily swear an hundred Oaths a day for nothing, can surely upon good encouragement outswear a Parson, and Mr. Hickeringil, who, it is notoriously known to all that ever conversed with him, that he never swore a rash Oath in his Life; but, like a Tortoise in his Shell, wraps himself safe in his own Innocence, and defies the Malice of his Adversaries, that never yet got any thing by their Stratagems against him, but Shame and Disaster to themselves, and their Tribe.  
And you will shortly hear, that he will take a speedy and severe Course with these lying Libelers and News-mongers, that writ for Bread; and when they want true News, they invent Lies, a whole Sheet full, and then cry Peccavi the next week; as this wretched Thompson does this week, for abusing the Lord Rannelagh the week before: And if they be not punished, every Man's Reputation lies at their mercy.  
But he characterizes Mr. Hickeringill, as famous of late for his Abuse of the Church. Sure he means some filthy Church, that thinks it an Abuse if a Man be so charitable as to offer to sweep it; or some swinish Church, that loves to wallow in its own Mire; or some waspish Church, that is good for nothing but to buzz, sting, and fly about the Ears of all that come near them, good for nothing but to eat up the Honey of the laborious Bee; or some Dronish Church, that licks up the Gains, whilst others take the Pains; or some Genteel Church, that lives idly on the Sweat of other men's Brows. I would fain know what Church the Fellow-means, that ever Mr. Hickeringill did abuse, except to endeavour to amend them be accounted an Abuse to them, and an Affront.  
There was more subtle Head-Peices, more great Heads, more Loggerheads (I'll warrant) at the contriving and vending this lying Libel against Mr. Hickeringill, than one silly Tory Thompson: Is not the Hand of— with thee in this? For Oh! the Consequence, the Consequence carries Meat in the very Mouth of it? Who will be the Author of more Naked Truth's? or more Sermons against Popish Sham-Plots, and Man-catching? (Ay, Ay, there's the Quarrel!) when a conviction of Perjury is the Consequence; Perjury, Perjury shall be Trumpeted in all the next Tory-Intelligences, and Weekly News— Perjury, Perjury; and Rogue, Rogue, Rogue— (as that silly Heraclitus Ridens) that cannot have a word to say for himself, why Sentence should not be given against him for his lying Libel, because he rails without Wit, as well as without Manners, 'tis downright Billingsgate, not a Grain of Salt to keep it from stinking, and nauseating every ingenuous Reader: Oh! but of all the Tory's, Thompson has hit it.  
Nay, Nay; for a subtle Intrigue, a Sham-Plot, Man-catching, tearing and swearing, nay swearing so home, that they'll out swear and prove perjured all that cannot swear so thorough-stich as themselves, for Lying and Slandering, Whoring, Scoring and Roaring, commend me to Tory. What they cannot do with their Hands, they can do with their Tongues, and Head-peices, (Oh! they have pestilent Brains in Skull, none of their Brethren beyond Sea can outmatch them.) If they cannot fight, they can swagger, if they cannot stand to't, they can roar and drink till they cannot stand; and cry — Huzzah; If they cannot Pray, they can Curse, and cry, God-damme; a Crew that will disgrace the Gallows, the Curse of God follows all their Erterprises; They are enough to bring Discredit and a Curse upon any Cause in the World, and upon all that accompany or side with them: 'twas well for Lot that he got out of Sodom as he did.  
But not all the Toryes in England, English nor Welsh combined, though they take in the wild Irish-Tory to help; not all the Sham-Plotters, Jesuits, nor Man-catchers; nor all the Nolis in the World, with all their Tricks (and they have a great many) nor with all their Potency (and it is great) shall be able to deliver this Lying Libelling Thompson out of the Hands and Clutches of the Naked Truth; the Fellow doth not know Mr. Hickeringill, but he'll make him know him better, if he do not abscond and fly for't; Is any Man so great as to be above the Law and Truth? God forbidden. Neminem oportet esse potentiorem Legibus nec sapientiorem. If Mr. Hickeringill were given to any manner of Debauchery, or irregular Conversation; if he were given to Swearing, Tearing, Drinking and Whoring, as many Tantivy-Men in England, he might expect to 'scape as well (and have Promotion too) as some of them that to my knowledge (besides other pregnant ill Qualities) have had two Bastards apeice.  
Oh! But this Truth, this Naked Truth is insufferable; These sharp Reflections upon Sham-Plotters, Sham-Evidence and Man-Catchers, are enough to spoil a well-laid Plot; all Heads and Hands to work: It is Decreed, Blacken him we must with Lies, since his Innocent Conversation is irreproveable; 'tis hard to catch a Fox, yet there's scarce a Tory in England, but catches one every Night before he sleeps; We live in a brave Jolly Age: Oh! there's no Ho when Power makes Court'sey to Revenge, and joins Giblets together.  
They have a Law to this Day in Spain, That his Testimony is for ever invalid, who hath once been convicted of Drunkenness.  
But I entertain you too long with these Pamphleteers, the Cumber and Pest of every Coffeehouse, into which a Man is no sooner entered, but he may well (by the crowd of idle Pamphlets presented upon the Tables to view) fancy himself in a Market in France, where the most numerous Ware exposed to Sale is new and fresh Trash, Frogs, and Mushrooms.  
I am Your Servant, A. B. Colchester, Aug. 17. 1681.   

LONDON, Printed for Richard Janeway in Queens-head Alley, in Pater-noster-Row, 1681.