THE Bachelors Answer TO THE Maid's Complaint OR THE YOUNG MEN'S VINDICATION.  
Clearing themselves from those unjust Aspersions, and setting forth the subtle Tricks and Vices of the Female Party.  
WITH The Terms they resolve to stand upon if ever they Mary.  
LONDON Printed for J. Coniers, at the Black-Raven in Ducklane, 1675.   

The Bachelors Answer TO The Maid's Complaint  
AFter so many Proofs of our Affection as we have given you, little did we think you could have been so ungrateful, as thus publicly to exclaim against us; we would freely excuse your modesty without an Apology, if you had really cause to complain; but your Reproaches are as unjust as they are confident, and your Allegations no less false in themselves than unbecoming your Sex. We appeal to all History, whether there were ever a more Amorous Age, and are confident Venus was never so much worshipped in Cyprus, as she has been of late amongst us: Formerly indeed the good Lasses were wont to expect the Teens, but you now adays prevent them.  
We are not ignorant of those little Arts you mention, used by you to whedle us into Dotage; but we know also that for all your Angelical looks you are the Tailor's Creatures as much as Natures; and own your Rosy Complexions to the dressing box, we are partly sensible how many loathsome hereditary Diseases you derive from your wanton Mothers: and care not much for an everlasting Bed-fellow. We understand right well your treacherous Smiles, and your dissembling Tears too, which you have always ready at a Minute's warning. What Pride you take in the number of your Servants, and how subtly you manage them to the best advantage; feeding all with equal hopes to make every one the freer of his presents. Thus you sit in Jacks Lap, and at the same instant tread Will on the Toe; sell a kind look to one for a Diamond Ring, and half a Kiss to another for a Rich Locket, or Bracelet; and then laugh at both the  Fops, for being bubbled so easily: well therefore may you reckon your Temptations amongst your Studies, but that the Soul and Gallantry of a Man should be basely prostituted to them, is as ridiculous, as for an Eagle to stoop at Flies. We know not (to use your own Comparison why a Woman should not be viewed with as little Ardour as an handsome Statue. For what is the Influence of Flesh, as to the Eye, above that of Marble? When we come into a spacious Gallery variously behung with Curious pieces, we can walk it round, look on this Picture, and like it, then turn our Faces, and forget it in the Beauty of the next; why may we not do so with Women, since they upon the whole matter are but Pictures too; and for the most part scurvily Painted? Not but that we could be content to trifle away our idle hours with you; and allow you the end of your Creation, as things born (Ad usum & lusum virorum) for our Pastimes and Delight; but you would have us passionately in Love with you (Heaven bless us) and not only so, but to put on the Marriage Shackles, a slavery worse than those miserable wretches suffer at Algiers, that tug continually at the Oar. We could love you like any thing, no body knows how long, but for settling of Joynctures, and Coupling for ever and a day, for better, for worse (good Girls) we must therein beg your Diversion.  
To be tied for term of life like a Monkey by the Loins to a Bed post, with the same Woman is a most unconscionable Proposal. Alas, 'Tis Variety that is the Mother of delight, and never was there such a strong Stomach but would be cloyed being confined perpetually to one Dish: Besides, it ●eems an Infringement of the Liberty of the Subject and a Violation of Nature's Magna Charta we must tell you every one that wears a Petticoat is not capable nor merits the Affections of a man: nay, Commonly it may be said, That the fairest of your Sex (were a mixture of pure white and red, supposing it natural accomplishes the Face) are fit for Mistresses than Wives and yield a more pleasing entertainment in a Belcony or Coach than Bed: Hence it is that so many Men repent their Bargains so soon, and with the same eagerness have in one years' time studied both a Marriage & a Divorce, having not more longed to obtain, than having obtained to desert. Their hopes and their Loves perishing together, the fruition of the one proving the expiration of the other: on this occasion the Proverb of Honymoon came into the World; and if any can continue a long affection for such, either the Man is extraordinary good, or the Woman exceeding cunning; or else he is a raw Novice, who having no experience of the Sex, imagines all to be as his Wife is; as the Roman Dame supposed all men's Breath to stink (she having never kissed any else) because her Husbands did so: Nor are we therefore to be Reproached for our zealous Profession before Marriage, because few live up to them after it, or to be censured so bitterly for Inconstancy, because we do not persist in our first affection, and declarations: for perhaps the pretty Lady is changed, or does by surrender acquaint us with Discoveries, we neither knew, nor could make before; and therefore being deceived, and knowing ourselves to be so; that we should Act and Compart ourselves, as if we were not so, is a Constraint every Man's Spirit cannot submit to, and to be excused as well as the princepal frailties whereunto Humane Nature is liable,  
But we need not argue the case thus seriously, The plain Truth is, you would not be so fond of Marriage, but to gain the greater Liberty, & make the Fops your Husband's Cloaks for your wanton Sallies, knowing how much soever you are rifled abroad, you lose nothing that they are like to miss when you come home, and that whoever you afford the pleasure of getting your Children, They must certainly be at the Charge of keeping them; Talk not then to us of making loves to your Virtues, if that be the only Charm, what need we lie with you. And though possibly it may be true that there may be some Virtue in some Women, yet we are pretty confident there is any such stock of it in any of you, as to make a Man run out of his Senses for the love of it; Nor think to fright us with your predictions that we shall dote on Dowdies at last, or marry Old Women for their Money, that are ready to be Hanged for Witches, for their ugliness; For even that is better than your silly Beggarly Love-marriage which is both the Paradise and Purgatory of Fools. A Wife being in no case so allowable as for getting an Estate.  
The pretence for propogation of posterity is insignificant, for we humbly conceive more Children have been begat in these last 4000 years, for the sake of the means, than of the End. And though Land must be Tilled, yet since there are enough, Drudges and Slaves'ith World what need we Blow.  
Let the good Commonwealths-men you talk of look to that, who have not Wit enough to distinguish between the Embraces of a Wife, and the Charms of a Miss, whom you rail at out of mere Envy, because you cannot get Gallants yourselves; yet do not despair absolutely, If you will but be obliging and kind, we'll free you from the dread of leading Apes in Hell, and perhaps when become well strucken in years, we may descend to the Folly of Wedlock with you, If you will in the mean time be good Housewives and scrape together losty Portions to Bribe us to it; and withal put us in good security that when we purchase you in Fee-tail, we shall not be liable to the Rend Charge of a Gallant, nor the Encumbrance of the Horn, For to tell the naked Truth we have no great Stomach to marrying till we see other men's Wives live honester.  
Given at our general Assembly in morefield's, this Easte●. Your ●ery ready and most affectione Servants.   
FINIS.