A COLLECTION OF APOPHTHEGMS, New and Old.  
BY THE Right Honourable FRANCIS BACON, Baron of Verulum, Viscount St. Alban.  
LONDON, Printed for Andrew Crook, and are to be Sold at the Green Dragon without Temple Bar. 1674.   

HIS LORDSHIP'S Preface.  
JUlius Caesar did write a Collection of Apophthegms, as appears in an Epistle of Cicero; so did Macrobius a Consular Man. I need say no more, for the worth of a Writing of that Nature. It is pity Caesar's Book is lost: For I imagine ●bcy were Collected with judgement and Choice: whereas that of Plutarch and Stoboeus; And much more the Modern ones, draw much of the Drogs. Certainly they are of excellent use. They are Mucrones verborum, Pointed Speeches. The words of the wife are as Goads, saith Solomon. Cicero prettily calleth them Salinas, Salt-pits, that you may extract Salt out of, and sprinkle it where you will. They serve to be interlaced in Continued speech. They serve to be recited upon Occasion of themselves. They serve if you take out the Kernel of them, and make them your own. I have for my 
This Collection his Lordship made out of his Memory, without turning any Book.  Recreation amongst more serious studies Collected some few of them: Therein fanning the old, Not omitting any, because they are vulgar, (For man● vulgar ones are excellent good; Norr for the Meanness of the Person; But because they are Dull and Flat; And adding many New that otherwise would have died.   

A COLLECTION OF APOPHTHEGMS, New and Old.  
QUEENELIZABETH, the marrow of her Coronation, (It being the custom to release Prisoners at the Inauguration of a Prince,) went to the Chapel; And in the great Chamber, one of her Courtiers, who was well known to her, either out of his own Motion, or by the Instigation of a wiser Man, presented her with a Petition, and before a great number of Courtiers, besought her with a loud voice; That now this good time, there might be four or five principal Prisoners more released; Those were the four Evangelists, and the Apostle St. Paul, who had been long shut up in an unknown Tongue, as it were in Prison; so as they could not converse with the Common People. The Queen answered very gravely, That it was best first to inquire of them, whether they would be released or no.  
2. Queen AND BULLEN, at the time when she was led to be beheaded in the Tower, called one of the King's privy Chamber to her, and said unto him, Commend me to the King, and tell him, that he hath been ever constant in his conrse of advancing me; from a private Gentlewoman he made me a Marchioness; and from a Marchioness a Queen; And now that he bath left no higher degree of Earthly Honour, He intends to Crown my Innocency with the Glory of Martyrdom.  
3. His Majesty JAMES the First, King of Great Britain, having made unto his Parliament an excellent and large Declaration, concluded thus; I have now given you a clear Mirror of my mind; Use it therefore like a Mirror, and take heed how you let it fall, or how you soil it with your Breath.  
4. A great Officer in France was in danger to have lost his place, but his Wife ●y her suit and means making, made his ●eace; whereupon a pleasant fellow said, That he had been crushed but that he saved himself upon his horns.  
5. His Majesty said to his Parliament at another time, finding there were some causeless jealousies sown amongst them; That the King and his People, (whereof the Parliament is the Representative Body,) were as Husband and Wife; And therefore that of all other things, jealousy was between them, most pernicious.  
6. His Majesty, When he thought his Counsel might note in him some variety in Businesses, though indeed he remained constant, would say; That the Sun many times shineth watery; But it is not the Sun which causeth it, but some Cloud Rising betwixt us and the Sun; And when that is scattered, the Sun is as it was, and comes to its former Brightness.  
7. His Majesty in his Answer to the Book of the Cardinal of Evereux (who had in a grave Argument of Divinity, sprinkled many witty Ornaments of Poesy and Humanity) saith, That these Flowers were like Blue & Yellow, and Red Flowers in the Corn, which make a pleasant show to those that look on, but they hurt the Cor●●  
8. Sir Edward Cook being vehemen●● against the two Provincial Counsels o● Wales, and the North, said to the King●● There was nothing there, but a kind of Con●●● fusion, and hotch potch of justice: On while they were a Star-Chamber; Another while a Kings-Bench; Another, a Common-place; Another, a Commission of Oye● and Terminer. His Majesty answered; Why, Sir Edward Cook? They be lik●● Houses in Progress, where I have not, nor can have, such distinct Rooms of State, a● I have here at White-Hall, or at Hampton Court.  
9 The Commissioners of the Treasure, ●● moved the King for the Relief of his Estate, to disafforess some Forests of his, explaining themselves of such forests as● lay out of the way, not near any of the King's Houses, nor in the course of his Progress, Whereof he should never have use nor pleasure. Why, (saith the King) do you think that Solomon had use and pleasure of all his 300 Concubines?  
10. His Majesty, when the Committees of both Houses of Parliament presented unto him the Instrument of Union of England and Scotland, was merry with them; And amongst other pleasant speeches showed unto them the Laird of a wreston a Scotchman, who was the ●allest and Greatest Man that was to ●●seen, and said; Well, now we are all 〈◊〉, yet none of you will say, but here is one ●●othman greater than any English Man, ●●ich was an ambiguous Speech; but it 〈◊〉 thought he meant it of himself.  
11. His Majesty would say to the ●ords of his Counsel when they sat upon great Matter, and came from Counsel to him, Well, you have set, but what ●ve you hatched?  
12. When the Archduke did raise his ●ege from the Grave, the than Secretary ●me ro Queen Elizabeth; The Queen having first Intelligence thereof) said 〈◊〉 the Secretary, Wot you what? The archduke is Risen from the Grave: He answered; What, without the Trumpet of ●e Archangel? The Queen replied yes, without the sound of Trumpet.  
13. Queen Elizabeth was importuned ●uch by my Lord of Essex▪ to supply dyer's great Offices, that had been long ●●id: The Queen answered nothing to ●e Matter; But rose up on the sudden, ●d said; I am sure my Office will not be●●●g void. And yet at that time, the e as much speech of Troubles, and Divisions about the Crown, to be after her De●●●ease: But they all vanished; and Kin● james came in, in a profund peace.  
14. The Counsel did make Remonstrance unto Queen Elizabeth, of the continual Conspiracies against her Life; and namely that a Man was lately taken, who stoo● ready in a very dangerous and suspicio●● manner to do the Deed; and they shew●ed her the weapon, wherewith he thought to have acted it. And therefore they ad●vised her, that she should go less abroad to take the Air, weakly attended, as sh●● used. But the QVEEN answered; Th● she had rather be dead, then put in Custody.  
15. The Lady Paget, that was very pr●●vate with Queen Elizabeth, declared he●●self much against the Match with Mo●●sieur. After Monsieurs Death, the Quee● took extreme grief, (at least as she mad● show) and kept in within her Bed-Cha●●ber, and one Ante-Chamber for thr●● week's space, in token of mourning: Arblast she came forth into her Privi-Cha●●ber, and admitted her Ladies to have a●● eess unto her; and amongst the rest, 〈◊〉 Lady Paget presented herself, and ca●● to her with a smiling Countenance. T●● Queen bent her Brows, and seemed to 〈◊〉 highly displeased, and said to her; M●●am, you are not ignorant of my extreme ●rief, and do you come to me with a Countenance of joy? My Lady Paget answered; ●las if it please your Majesty, it is impossible for me to be absent from you three weeks ●ut that when I see you, I must look cheerfully. No no, (said the Queen, not forgetting her former Averseness to the Match) you have some other conceit in i●, ●ell me plainly My Lady answered▪ I ●ust obey you; It is this. I was thinking ●ow happy your Majesty was, you married ●ot Monsieur; For seeing you take such thought for his Death, being but your friend; If he had been your Husband sure it would ●ave cost you your life.  
16. Henry the 4th of France his Queen was young with Child; Count Soisons, that had his expectation upon the Crown, when it was twice or thrice thought that the Queen was with Child before, said to some of his Friends; That it was a but with 〈◊〉 Pillow; This had some ways come to the King's Ear; who kept it till such time as the Queen waxed great: Then he called the Count of Soisons to him, and said; laying his hand upon the Queen's Belly; Come Cousin, is this a Pillow? The Count of Soisons answered; Yes Sir, 〈◊〉 is a Pillow for all France to sleep upon.  
17. King Henry the 4th of France, was so punctual of his word, after it was once passed, that they called him, The King of the Faith.  
18. The said King Henry the 4th was moved by his Parliament to War against the Protestants: He answered; Yes, I mean it: I will make every one of you Captains; you shall have Companies assigned you. The Parliament observing whereunto his Speech tended, gave over and deserted his motion.  
19 Queen Elizabeth was wont to say, upon the Commission of Sales; That the Commissioners used her like Strawberry-Wives that laid two or three great Strawberries at the mouth of their pot, and all the rest were little ones; so they made her two or three good prizes of the first particulars, but fell strait ways.  
20. Queen Elizabeth used to say of her Instructions, to great Officers; That they were like to Garments, straight at the first putting on, but did by and by wear loose enough.  
21. A great Officer at Court, when my Lord of Essex was first in trouble; and that he, and those that dealt for him, would talk much of my Lords Friends; and of his Enemies, answered to one of them; I will tell you, I know but one Friend, and one Enemy my Lord hath; and that one Friend is the Queen, and that one Enemy is himself.  
22. The Book of Deposing King Richard the Second, and the coming in of Henry the 4th, supposed to be written by Doctor Hayward, who was committed to the Tower for it, had much incensed Queen Elizabeth; and she asked Mr. Bacon, being then of her Counsel learned, whether there were any Treason contained in it? who intending to do him a pleasure, and to take of the Queen's bitterness with a merry concelt, answered; No Madam, for Treason, I cannot deliver Opinion, that there was any, but very much Felony: The Queen apprehending it gladly, asked, How? And wherein? Mr. Bacon answered; Because he had stolen many of his Sentences and Conceits out of Cornelius Tacitus.  
23. Queen Elizabeth being to resolve upon a great Officer, and being by some, that canvased for others, put in some doubt of that person, whom she meant to advance, called for Mr. Bacon; And told him, she was like one, with a Lantern, seeking a man; and seemed unsatisfied in the choice she had of a man for that place. Mr. Bacon answered her, that he had heard that in old time, there was usually painted in the Church Walls, the Day of Doom, and God sitting in judgement, and Saint Michael by him, with a pair of Balances; And the Soul, and the Good Deeds in the one Balance, and the Faults, and the Evil Deeds in the other; and the Souls Balance went up far too light: Then was our Lady painted with a great pair of Bends; who cast them into the light Balance, and brought down the Scale: So he said; Place and Authority, which were in her Majesty's hands to give, were like our Lady's Beads, which though men, through any Imperfections, were too light before, yet when they were cast in, made weight competent.  
24. Queen Elizabeth was dilatory enough in suits, of her own Nature; and the Lord Treasurer Burleigh being a Wife Man, and willing therein to feed her humour, would say to her; Madam, you do well to l●t Suitors stay; For I shall tell you, Bis dat, qui cito dat; if you grant them speedily, they will come again the sooner.  
25. Sir Nicholas Bacon, who was Keeper of the Great Seal of England, when Queen Elizabeth, in her Progress, came to his House at Gorhambury; and said to him; My Lord, what a little House have you gotten? Answered her; Madam, my House is well, but it is you that have made me too great for my House.  
26. There was a Conference in Parliament, between the Lords House, and the House of Commons, about a Bill of Accountants, which came down from the Lords to the Commons; which Bill prayed; That the Lands of Accountants, whereof they were seized, when they entered upon their Office, might be liable to their Arrears to the Queen. But the Commons desired, that the Bill might not look back to the Accountants that were already, but extend only to Accountants hereafter. But the Lord Treasurer said; why, I pray yru, if you had lost your Purse by the way, would you look forwards, or would you look back? The Queen hath lost her Purse.  
27. The Lord Keeper, Sir Nicholas Bacon was asked his Opinion by my Lord of Leicester, concerning two persons whom the Queen seemed to think well of: By my Troth my Lord (said he) the one is a grave Counsellor; The other is a Proper young Man; and so he will be as long as he lives.  
28. My Lord of Leicester, Favourite to Queen Elizabeth, was making a large Chase about Cornbury Park; meaning to enclose it with Posts and Rails; and one day was casting up his charge what it would come to. Mr. Goldingham, a free-spoken Man, stood by, and said to my Lord; Methinks your Lordship goeth not the cheapest way to work. Why, Goldingham, laid my Lord? Marry my Lord, said Goldingham; Count you but upon the posts, for the Country will find you Railing.  
29. The Lord Keeper, Sir Nicholas Bacon, was asked his Opinion by Queen Elizabeth, of one of these Monopoly Licenses: And he answered; Madam will you have me speak the Truth? Licentiâ omnes deteriores sumus: We are all the worse for Licenses.  
30. My Lord of Essex, at the Succour of Rboane, made 24 Knights, which at that time was a great number. Divers of those Gentlemen were of weak and small Means; which when Queen Elizabeth heard, she said; My Lord might have done well to have built his Alms-house, before he made his Knights.  
31. The Deputies of the Reformed Religion, after the Massacre which was at Paris upon Saint Bartholom●ws Day, treated with the King and Queen Mother, and some other of the Counsel for a Peace. Both sides were agreed upon the Articles. The question was, upon the security for the performance. After some particulars propounded and rejected, the Queen Mo●her said, Why Is not the word of a King sufficient security? One of the Deputies answered; No by Saint Bartho omew, Madam.  
32. There was a French Gentleman, speaking with an English of the Law Salic, That Wome● were excluded from Inheriting the C●own of France. The English said; Yes, but that was meant of the Women themselves, not of such Males as claimed by Women. The French Gentleman said, Where do you find that gloss? The English answered, I'll tell you Sir, Look on the backside of the Record, of the Law Salic, and there you shall find it endorsed: Implying that there was no such thing as the Law Salic, but that ●t is a mere fiction.  
33. A Friar of France, being in an earnest Dispute about the Law Salic, would need prove it by Scripture; citing that verse of the Gospel; Lilia Agri, non ●aborant, neque nent, The Lilies of the Field do neither labour nor spin: Applying it thus, That the Flower de Luce's of France cannot descend, neither to the Dr●●● staff, nor to the Spade; That is, not to 〈◊〉 Woman, nor to a Peasant.  
34. When Peace was renewed wit● the French in England, divers of th● great Counsellors were presented from th● French with jewels: The Lord Hen●● Howard, being then Earl of Northamp●on● and a Counsellor, was omitted. Where● upon the King said to him, My Lord, how happens it that you have not a Iew●● as well as the rest? My Lord answered● according to the Fable in Aesop; No●● sum Gallus, itaque non reperi Gemman.  
35. The same Earl of Northampton, than Lord Privy Seal, was asked by Kin● james, openly at the Table, where commonly he entertained the King with discourse; the King asked him upon the sudden; My Lord, have you not a desire●● to see Rome? My Lord Privy Seal answered; Yes indeed Sir: The King said, And why? My Lord answered; Because, if it please your Majesty, it was the seat of the greatest Monarchy, and the Seminary of the ●ravest men of the world, whilst was Heathen? And then Secondly, bec●●se● afterwards it was the Son of so many holy Bishops in the Primitive Church, most of them Martyr. The King would not give ●over, but said; And for nothing else? 〈◊〉 Lord answered; Yes, if it please your majesty, for two things more: The on● to ●him, who they say hath so great a power forgive other men their sins, to confess own ●ins upon his knees before a Chaplin, or Priest: And the other to hear Anti●●rist say his creed.  
36. Sir Nicholas Bacon, being appoint●● a Judge for the Northern Circuit, ●●d having brought his Trails that came ●●fore him to such a pass, as the passing 〈◊〉 Sentence on Malefactors, he was by ●●e of the Malefactors mightily impor●ned for to save his life, which when ●othing that he had said did avail, he at● ng●h desired his Mercy on the account 〈◊〉 Kindred: Prithee said my Lord Judge, ●ow came that in? Why, if it please you 〈◊〉 Lord your Name is Bacon, and 〈◊〉 is Hog, and in all Age's Hog and Ba●●n have been so near kindred, that they ●●e not to be separated. I but (replied ●udg Bacon) you and I cannot be kind●●d, except you be●hanged; for Hog is not ●acon until it be well hanged.  
37. Two Scholars and a Country man ●●avelling upon the Road, one night ●●dged all in one Inn, and supped together, where the Scholars thought to have pu● trick upon the Country man, which 〈◊〉 thus; The Scholar's appointed for Su●per two Pigeons, and a Fat Capo● which being ready, was brought up, a● they having set down, the one Scho●● took up one Pigeon, the other Scho●● took the other Pigeon, thinking there that the Country man should have 〈◊〉 still until that they were ready for t●● carving of the Capon, which he perce●●ving, took the Capon, and laid it on 〈◊〉 Trencher, and thus said, Daintily contrived, every one a bird.  
38. jack Roberts was desired by h●● Taylor, when the Reckoning grew some● what high, to have a Bill of his han● Roberts said, I am content, but you mu● let no man know it; when the Tayl●●●●rought him the Bill, he tore it as 〈◊〉 choler, and said to him, you use me n●● use me well, you promised me no man shou●● know it, and here you have put in; Be ● known unto all men by these Presents.  
39 Sir Walter Raleigh was wont 〈◊〉 say of the Ladies of Queen Elizabeth's Privy Chamber, and Bed Chamber, Tha● they were like Witches, they could do hurt● but they could do no good.  
40. There was a Minister deprived fo●● ●●●conformity, who said, to some of his friend's, that if they deprived him, it ●●ould cost an hundred men's lives, the arty understood it as being a turbulent ●low, he would have move sedition, ●●●d complained of him, whereupon be●●g convented and opposed upon that ●eech, he said his meaning was, ●●at if he lost his Benefice, he would practic Physic, and then he thought he should 〈◊〉 an hundred men in time.  
41. Secretary bourn's Son kept a Gentleman's Wife in Shropshire, who lived ●om her Husband with him, when he as weary of her, he caused her Husband 〈◊〉 be dealt with to take her home, and ●fered him five hundred pounds for re●●ration: the Gentleman went to Sir 〈◊〉 Sidney, to take his advice upon this 〈◊〉, telling him, that his Wife promised 〈◊〉 a new life; and to tell him truth, 〈◊〉 hundred pounds would come well ●ith him; and besides that, sometimes ●e wanted a Woman in his Bed. By my ●roth, said Sir Henry Sidney, Take her 〈◊〉 and take the Money, then when as 〈◊〉 her Cucholds wear their Horns plain, you ●ay wear yours guilt.  
42. When Rabelais the great ●ester of ●rance, lay on his death bed, and they gave him the Extreme Unction, a fa●●●● liar friend of his came to him afterwards and asked him how he did, Rabelais answered, Even going my journey, they 〈◊〉 greased my Boots already.  
43. Mr. Bron ley Solicitor, giving evidence for a Deed, which was impeac●●ed to be fraudulent, was urged by 〈◊〉 Council on the other side with this presumption, that in two former Suits wh●●● Title was made, that Deed was passed ●●ver in silence, and some other conve●● ance stood upon: Mr. justice Catii● taking in with that side, asked the Sollic●●tor, I pray thee Mr. Solicitor, let me a● you a familiar question, I have two Ge●●●dings in my Stable; I have divers tim●● business of importance, and still I ser●●● forth one of my Geldings and not the ●●ther, would you not think I set him asid●●● for a Jade? No my Lord, said Bro●nle● I would think you spared him for your o●● Saddle.  
44. Thal●s, as he was looking upon t●● Stars, fell into the water, whereupon was after said, That if he had looked in●● the water, he might have seen the Stars, 〈◊〉 looking up to the Stars, he could not 〈◊〉 Water.  
45. A Man and his Wife in bed together, she towards morning pretended ●●self to be ill at ease, desiring to lie on●● Husband's side, so the good man to ●ease her came over her, making some ●●ort stay in his passage over, where she ●●●d not long lain, but desired to lie in 〈◊〉 old place again: quoth he, how 〈◊〉 that be effected? she answered, come 〈◊〉 me again: I had rather, said he, go 〈◊〉 and an half about.  
46. A Thief being Arraigned at the 〈◊〉 for stealing a Mare, in his pleading 〈◊〉 many things in his own behalf, and last nothing availing, he told the ●●●nch, the Mare rather stole him, than the Mare, which in brief he thus re●●●ed; that passing over several grounds out his lawful occasions, he was pursued ●●●se by a fierce Mastive Dog, and so was ●●●ced to save himself by leaping over a ●edge, which being of an agile body, he ●●●ected; and in●leaping, a Mare standing on the other side of the Hedge, leap● on her back, who running furiously ●ay with him, he could not by any ●eans stop her until he came to the next own, in which Town the owner of the ●ane lived, and there was he taken, and ●●re Arraigned.  
47. Master Mason of Trinity College, sent his Pupil to another of he Fello●● to borrow a Book of him, who told hi● I am loath to lend my Books out of 〈◊〉 Chamber, but if it please thy Tutor to 〈◊〉 and read upon it in my Chamber, he sh●●● as long as he will. It was Winter, 〈◊〉 some days after the same Fellow sent 〈◊〉 Master Mason to borrow his Bellows, 〈◊〉 Master Mason said to his Pupil, I 〈◊〉 loath to lend my Bellows out of my Chamber, but if thy Tutor would come and 〈◊〉 the fire in my Chamber, he shall as long●●●● he will.  
48. A notorious Rog●e being brought to the Bar, and knowing his case to●●● desperate, instead of pleading, he took t● himself the liberty of jesting, and thu● said; I charge you in the King's name, 〈◊〉 seize and take away that man (meaning the Judge) in the Red Gown, for I g● in danger of my life because of him.  
49. In Flanders by accident, a Flemish Tiler fell from the top of a house upon 〈◊〉 Spaniard, and killed him, though he escaped himself, the next of the blood pro●●secuted his death with great violence and when he was offered pecuniary re● compence, nothing would serve him, bu●● Lex tulionis: whereupon the Judge sai● to him, That if he did urge that Sentence 〈◊〉 must be, that he should go up to the top of 〈◊〉 house, and then f●ll down upon the ●iler.  
50. A rough hewn Seaman, being ●ught before a wife Just-ass, for some misdemeanour, was by him Committed to ●rison, and being somewhat refractory, ●●ter he heard his doom, insomuch as he ●ould not stir a foot from the place he ●ood, saying, it were better to stand where 〈◊〉 was, than go to a worse place. The ●ustice thereupon, to show the strength 〈◊〉 his Learning, took him by the shoulder, and said, Thoushalt go Nogus vogus, ●stead of Nolens volens.  
51. Francis the first of France, used ●r his pleasure sometimes to go disguised: ●●walking one day in the company of 〈◊〉 Cardinal of Burhon, near Paris, he ●et with a Peasant with a new pair of ●oos upon his arm; so he called him un●● him, and said, By our Lady, these are ●ood shoes, what did they cost thee? the peasant said guests, the King said, I think ●●●me five Sols, said the Peasant you have ●ed but a Carlois: What villain said the cardinal of Bourbon, thou are dead, it is 〈◊〉 King. The Peasant replied, The D●● take him of you and me that knew so ●uch.  
52. There was a young man in Rome● that was very like Augustus Caesar, Angustus took knowledge of him, and sent for the man, and asked him, was your Mother never at Rome? he answered, No Sir, but my Father was.  
53. A Physician advised his Patient that had sore eyes, that he should abstain from Wine, but the Patient said, I think rather Sir, from Wine and water, for I have often marked it in bl●w eyes, and I have seen water come forth, but never wine.  
54. A debauched Seaman being brought before a Justice of Peace upon the account of swearing, was by the Justice commanded to deposit his Fine in that behalf provided, which was two shillings, he thereupon, plucked out of his pocket a half-crown, asked the Justice what was the rate he was to pay for Cursing; the Justice told him six pence, quoth ●he then A Pox take you all for a company of K●uav●s and Fools, and there's half a crown for you, I will never stand changing of Money.  
55. Augustus Caesar was invited to Supper by one of his old Friends that had conversed with him in his less fortunes, and had but ordinary entertainment, whereupon at his going away he said, I did not know that you and I were so familiar.  
56. Agathocles after he had taken Syra●c●sa, the men where of during the srege, had in a bravery spoken of him all the villainy that might be; sold the Syracu●ians for slaves, and said, Now if you use such words of me, I will tell your Masters of you.  
59 Dyonisius the elder, when he saw his Son in many things very inordinate, said to him, Did you ever know me do such things? his Son answered, No, but you had not a Tyrant to your Father; the Father replied, No, nor you if you take these courses, will have a Tyrant to your Son.  
58. Calisthenes' the Philosopher, that followed Alexander's Court, and hated the King; being asked by one, how one might be the famousest man in the world, answered, by taking away him that is.  
59 Age●ilaus, when one told him there was one did excellently counterfeit a Nightingale, and would have had him heard him, said, Why I have heard the Nightingale herself.  
60. A great Nobleman upon the complaint of a Servant of his, laid a Citizen by the heels, thinking to bend him to his servants desire, but the fellow being stubborn, the servant came to his Lord, and told him, your Lordship I know hath gone as far as well you may, but it works not; for yonder fellow is more perverse than before, Said my Lord, Let's forget him a while, and then he will remember himself.  
61. One came to a Cardinal in Rome, and told him that he had brought his Lordship a dainty white Palfry, but he fell lame by the way; saith the Cardinal to him, I'll tell thee what thou shalt do, go to such a Cardinal, and such a Cardinal, naming half a dozen Cardinals, and tell them as much, and so whereas by thy horse if he had been sound, thou couldst have pleased but one, with thy lame horse tho● mayst please half a dozen.  
62. A witty Rogue coming into a Lace-shop, said he had occasion for some Lace, choice whereof being showed him, he at last piched upon one pattern, and asked them how much they would have for so much as would reaech from ear to ear, for so much he had occasion for; they told him for so much: so some few words passing between them, he at last agreed, and told down his money for it, and began to measure on his own head, thus saying, One ●ar is h●re, and the ●ther is ●●iled to the Pillory in Bristol, and I fear you have not so much of this Lace by you at present as will perfect my bargain; therefore this piece of Lace shall suffice at present in part payment, and provide the rest with all expedition.  
63. Iphicrates the Athenian, in a Treaty that he had with the Lacedæmonians for peace, in which question was about security for observing the same, said, The Athenians would not accept of any security, except the Lacedæmonians did yield up unto them those things, whereby it might be manifest, that they could not hurt them if they would.  
64. Euripides would say of persons that were beautiful, and yet in some years, In fairest bodies not only the spring is pleasant, but also the Autumn.  
65. There was a Captain sent to an exploit by his General, with Forces that were not likely to achieve the enterprise; the Captain said to him, Sir, appoint but half so many: why, saith the General? the Captain answered, Because it is better that fewer die than more.  
66. There was a Harbinger who had lodged a Gentlemen in a very ill room, who expostulated with him somewhat rudely, but the Harbinger carelessly said, You will take pleasure in it when you ar●●ut of it.  
67. There is a Spanish Adage, Lo●● without end, hath no end, meaning that 〈◊〉 it were begun without particular ends 〈◊〉 would last.  
68 A Woman being suspected by he●● Husband for dishonesty, and being 〈◊〉 him at last pressed very hard about it, mad●● him quick answer with many protestations, That she kn●w no more of what 〈◊〉 said, than the Man in the Moon. Now th● Captain of the Ship called the Moon w●● the very man she so much loved.  
69. Demosthenes when he fled from th● battle, and that it was reproached to him 〈◊〉 said, That he that flies might fight again▪  
70. G●●●salv●● would say, The 〈◊〉 of● Soldier ought to be of a strong 〈◊〉 meaning that it should not be so fine an● curious, that every little disgrace shoul● catch and stick in it.  
71. An Apprentice of London bein●● brought before the Chamberlain by h●●● Master, for the fin of incontinency, eve● with his own Mistress: the Chamberla●● thereupon gave him many Christian Ex●●hortations, and at last he mentione● and pressed the Chastity of joseph whe● his Mistress tempted him with the like Crime of Incontinency. I Sir, said the Apprentice, But if Joseps Mistress had been as handsome as mine is, he could not have forborn.  
72. Bias gave in precept, love as if you should hereafter hate, and hate as if you should hereafter love.  
73. Cineas was an excelleet Orator and Statesman, and principal Friend and Counsellor to Pyrrhus, and falling in inward talk with him, and discerning the King's endless ambitions, Pyrrhus opened himself unto him, that he intended first a War upon Italy, and hoped to achieve it, Cineas asked him, Sir, what will you do then? said Pyrrhus, if the gods favour us, we may conquer Africa and Carthage: What then Sir, saith Cineas? Nay then saith Pyrrhus, we may take our rest, and Sacrifice and Feast every day, and make merry with our Friends, Alas Sir, said Cineas, may we not do so now without all this ado?  
47. Lamia the Courtesan had all power with Demetrius King of Macedon; and by her instigations he did many unjust and cruel acts; whereupon Lysimachus said, That it was the first time that ever he knew a Whore act in a Tragedy.  
76. One of the Romans said to his Friend, What think you of one who wa● taken in the act and manner of Adultery? the other answered, Marry I think he wa● toe slow at dispath.  
Epaminondas, when his grea● Friend and Colleague in War was Suitor to him to pardon an offender, denied him; afterwards when a Concubine of his made the same suit, he granted it to her; which when P●●opidas seemed to take unkindly, he said, Such suits are to be granted to Whores, but not to Personage●● 〈◊〉 worth.  
77. T●●les being asked when a man should marry, said, ●oung men not yet, old 〈◊〉 not at all.  
78. A Company of Scholars going together to catch Coneys, carried one Scholar with them, which had not much more wit th●● he was born with, and to him they gave in charge, that if he saw any, 〈◊〉 should be silent for fear of scaring them; but he no sooner espied a company of a Rabits before the rest, but he cried aloud, Ecce, Multi Cuniculi, which in English signifies, B●h●ld, Many C●ni●s, which he had no sooner said, but the Coneys ran to their boroughs, and he being checked by them for it, answered, Who the Devil would have thought the Rabits understood Latin?  
79. A Welshman being at a Sessions●ouse, and ●eeing the Prisoners hold up ●heir hands at the Bar, related to some ●f his acquaintance there, judges were ●ood Fortune tellers, for if they did but look ●pon their hand, they could certainly tell whether they should live or die.  
80. Solon compared the people unto ●he Sea, and Orators and Counselors ●o the Winds; For that the Sea would be ●alm and quiet if the Winds did not trouble it.  
81. Socrates was pronounced by the Oracle of Delphos, to the wisest man of Greece, which he would put from himself Ironically, saying, There would be nothing in him to verify the Oracle, except this, ●hat he was not wise and knew it, and o●●hers were not wise, and knew it not.  
82. Socrates when there was showed him the Book of Heraclitus the obscure, and was asked his opinion of it, answered; Those things which I understood were excellent, I imagine so were those I understood not, but they require a diver of Delos.  
83. Bion asked an envious man, that was very sad; What harm had befallen unto him, or what good had befallen unto ●nother man.  
84. Stilpo the Philosopher, when the people flocked about him, and that on● said to him, the people come wondering about you, as if it were to see som● strange beast: No, ●aith he, it is to see man which Diogene's sought with his La●●●orn at noon day.  
85. A man being very jealous of h●● Wife, insomuch that which way soever she went, he would be prying at her heel● and she being so grieved thereat, in pla●● terms told him, That if he did not for 〈◊〉 future leave off his proceedings in this nurture, she would gra●t such a pair of hor●● upon his head, that should hinder him fro● coming out at any door in the house.  
86. A Citizen of London passing t●● streets very hastily, came at last whe● some stop was made by Carts, and fo● Gentlemen talking together, who kn●● him, where being in some passion that●● could not suddenly pass, one of them●●● this wise spoke to him, That others had 〈◊〉 by, & there was room enough, only he co●●● not tell if their Horns were so wide as his●●  
87. A Tinker passing Ch●●pside wi●● his usual tone, Have you 〈◊〉 work for Tinker? an Apprentice standing at door opposite to a Pillory there set u● called the Tinker, with an intent to 〈◊〉 a jest upon him, and told him that should do very well if he would stop those two holes in the Pillory: to which the Tinker answered; That if he would put his head and ears a while in that Pillory, he would bestow both brass and nail upon him to hold him in, and give him his labour into the bargain.  
88 A young Maid having married an old Man, was observed on the day of Marriage to be somewhat moody, as if she had eaten a dish of Chums; which one of her Bridemen observing, bid her●● be cheery, and told her moreover, that an old horse would hold out as long, and as well as a young one in travel: to which she answered, stroking down her belly with her hand, But not in this Road, Sir.  
89. There was in Oxford a cowardly fellow that was a very good Archer, he was abused by another, and moaned himself to Sir Walter R●leigh, than a Scholar, and asked his advice, what he should do to repair the wrong had been offered him; Raleigh answered, Why challenge him at a match of shooting.  
90. Whitewood a grave Divine was much esteemed by Queen Elizabeth, but not preferred, because he was against the Government of Bishops, he was of a blunt Stoical nature; he came one day to Queen, and the Queen happened to ●●ay to him, I like thee the better Whitehead, because thou livest unmarried, He answered, In troth Madam, I like you th●● worse for the same cause.  
91. Doctor Lawd said, that some Hypocrites and seeming mortified men, 〈◊〉 held down their heads like bulrushes, were like the little Images that they place in the very bowing of the Vaults o● Churches, that look as if they held up the Church, but are but Puppets.  
92. A Noble Man of this Nation, famously known for his mad tricks, on 〈◊〉 time having taken Physic, which h● perceiving began well to work, called up his man to go for a Surgeon presently and to bring his Instruments with him: th● Surgeon comes in with all speed; t●● whom my Lord Related, that he foun● himself much addicted to Women, and therefore it was his will, that the cause of it might be taken away, and therefore commanded him forthwith to prepare hi●● Instrument ready for to geld him; 〈◊〉 the Surgeon forthwith prepares accordingly, and my Lord told him he would not see it done, and therefore that h●● should do his work the back way; 〈◊〉 both parties being contented my Lord makes ready, and holds up his 〈◊〉 and when he perceives the Surgeon very near him, he lets fly full in his face, which made the Surgeon step back, but coming presently on again; Hold, hold, saith my Lord, I will better consider of it, for I feel the retentive faculty very weak at the reproach of such sharp Instruments,  
93. The Lord Henry Howard, being Lord Privy Seal, was asked by the King openly at the Table, where commonly he entertained the King upon the sudden: My Lord, have you not a desire to see Rome? My Lord Privy Seal answered, Yes indeed Sir. The King said, and why? My Lord answered, because, and please your Majesty, it was once the Seat of the greatest Monarchy, and the Seminary of the bravest men in the world amogst the Heathen; and then again, because it was the See of many holy Bishops in the Primitive Church, most of them Martyrs. The King would not give it over, but said, and for nothing else? My Lord answered, Yes, and it please your Majesty, for two things especially, the one to see him who they say hath such a power to forgive other men's sins, confess ●is own sins upon ●is knees before a Chaplain or Priest, and the other is to hear A●tichrist say his Cr●e●.  
94. There was a cursed Page that h●● Master whipped naked, and when he ha●● been whipped, would not put on his cloth and when his Master bade him, he said Take them you, for they are the Hangman Fees  
95. There was a Lady of the We● Country, that gave great entertainment at her house to most of the gallant Gentlemen thereabout, and amongst other●● Sir Walter Raleigh was one; This Lady though otherwise a stately Dame, was notable and good Housewife, and i● the morning betimes, she called to one o● her Maids that looked to the Swine, an● asked, are the Pigs served? Sir Walt●●● Raleighs Chamber was fast by the Ladie● so as he heard her; a little before dinne● the Lady came down in great state into the great Chamber, which was full o● Gentlemen, and as soon as Sir Walter Ra●●leigh set eye upon her, Madam, saith he Are the Pigs served? The Lady answered●● You know best, whether you have had you● breakfast.  
96. The●e were Fishermen drawing the River at Ch●lsey, Mr. Bacon cam● thither by chance in the Afternoon's and offered to buy their Draugh: they were willing. He 〈◊〉 them what they would take? They asked Thirty Shil●●ings. Mr Bacon offered them Ten: They refused it. Why then saith Mr. Bae●●on, I will be only a looker on. They drew and catched nothing. Saith Mr. Bacon, are not you mad fellows now, that might have had an Angel in your purse, to have made merry withal, and to have warmed you thoroughly, and now you must go home with nothing. I but saith the Fishermen, we had hope then to make a better gain of it. Saith Mr. Bacon, well my Master, then I'll tell you; hope is a good Breakfast, but it is a bad Supper  
97. A Lady w●lking with Mr. Bacon in Grays-Inne Walks, asked him whose that piece of ground lying next under the walls was; He answered, Theirs. Then she asked him, if those Fields beyond the Walks were theirs too? He answered, Yes Madam, those are ours, as you are ours, to look on, and no more.  
98. His Lordship when he was newly made Lord-Keeper, was in Grays-Inne Walks with Sir Walter Raleigh; One came and told him that the Earl of Exeter was above. He continued upon occasion still walking a good while. At last when he came up, my Lord of E●●ter met him, and said; My Lord I have mad● a great venture to come up so high stairs, being a gouty man. His Lordship answered, p●●don me my Lord; I have made the greatest Venture of all; For I have Ventured upon your Patience.  
99 When Sir Francis Bacon was made the King's Attorney, Sir Edward Coo● was put up from being Lord chief Iustice, of the Common Pleas, to be Lor● chief justice of the King's Pench; which is a place of greater Honour, but of less Profit; And withal was made Privy● Counsellor. After a few days, the Lord Cook meeting with the King's Attorney, said unto him; M●. Attorney, this is all your doing; It is you that have made this● stir. Mr. Attorney answered; Ah my Lord! your Lordship all this while ●●ath grown in Breadth; You must needs ●ow grow in Height, or else you would be a Monster.  
100 One day Queen Elizabeth told Mr. Bacon, that my Lord of Essex, after great Protestation of Penitence, and affection fell in the end, but upon the Suit of renewing his Farm, of Sweet Wines: He answered; I read that in Nature, there be two kinds of Motions or Appetites in Sympathy; The one as of Iron, to the Adamant for perfection; The other 〈◊〉 the Vine, to the Stake for sustentation, ●at her Majesty was the one, and his ●●uit the other.  
101. Mr. Bacon, after he had been ve●●ent in Parliament, against Depopulation and Enclosures; And that soon ●●ter the Queen told him, that she had ●●erred the hearing of Mr. Mills Cause, 〈◊〉 certain Counsellors and judges; and ●●●ked him how he liked of it? Answered, 〈◊〉 Madam! my Mind is known; I am ●●●ainst all Enclosures, and especially again●●●●●closed justice  
102. When Sir Nicholas Bacon the ●●rd Keeper lived, every Room in Gor●●mbury was served with a Pipe of Wa● from the Ponds, distant about a Mile 〈◊〉. In the life-time of Mr. Anthony ●●con, the Water ceased. After whose ●●ath, his Lordship coming to the Inhe●●ance, could not recover the Water ●●thout infinite charge: When he was ●●rd Chancellor, he built Verulam House, ●ose by the Pond-yard, for a place of privacy when he was called upon, to spatch an urgent business: And being ●●ked, Why he built that House there, is Lordship answered; that since he ●●uld not carry the Water to his House, He would carry his House to the Wa●▪  
103. When my Lord Precedent of 〈◊〉 Council came first to be Lord Treasurer, 〈◊〉 complained to my Lord Chancellor of 〈◊〉 troublesomeness of the place, for that 〈◊〉 Exchequer was so empty. The Lord Chancellor answered; My Lord, be of 〈◊〉 cheer, for now you shall see the bottom 〈◊〉 your business at the first.  
104. When his Lordship was newly ●●●vanced to the Great Seal, Gondomar ca●● to visit him: My Lord said; That he 〈◊〉 to thank God and the King for that ●●●●nour; But yet, so he might be rid of 〈◊〉, he could very willingly forb 〈◊〉 the Honour. And that ●e formerly ha● desire, and the ●●me continued with 〈…〉, to lead a private life: Gond●● answered, That he would tell him 〈◊〉 Tale, of an old Rat that would 〈◊〉 leave the World: And acquainted the you● Rats, that he would retire into his H●● and spend his days solitarily▪ and wo●●● enjoy 〈…〉 comfort: and command them upon his high displeasure, not to 〈◊〉 to come in unto him. They for●●re two 〈◊〉 three days; At last, one that was 〈◊〉 hurity than the rest, incited some of 〈◊〉 Fellows to go in with him, and he wo●●● venture to see how his Father did: For ●●ght be dead. They went in, and found 〈◊〉 old Rat sitting in the midst of a rich ●●rmizan Cheese. So he applied the Fa●● after this witty manner.  
105. Rabelais tells a Tale of one that ●s very Fortunate in compounding differences. His Son undertook the said ●●●ourse, but could never compound any. ●hereupon he came to his Father and ●●ked him, What are he had to reconcile differences? He answered; He had no 〈◊〉 but this; To watch when the two par●●● were much wearied, and their hearts ●ere too great to seek Reconcilement at 〈◊〉 ●●others hands; Then to be a means betwixt them, and upon no other Terms. Af●er which the Son went home, and prospered in the same undertake.  
106. Alonso Cartilio, was informed by ●●is Steward of the greatness of his Expense, being such as he could not hold ●ut therewith. The Bishop asked him, 〈◊〉 it chiefly arose? His Steward told ●im, In the multitude of his Servants: The Bishop ●id him make him a Note of ●hose that were necessary, and those that: ●ight be spared. Which he did▪ And the Bishop taking occasion to read it before ●ost of his Servants, said to his Steward; ●ell, let these remain because I have need of them; And these others▪ because 〈◊〉 have need of me.  
107. Mr. Marbury the Preacher wo●●● say; That God was fain to deal with wi●●●ed men, as men do with frisking jades a pasture, that cannot take them up, 〈◊〉 they get them at a gate: So wi●ked 〈◊〉 will not be taken up till the Hour 〈◊〉 Death.  
108. Pope Xyst●● the fifth who wa● very poor Man's Son, and his Fath●● House ill thatched, so that the Sun ca●● in in many places; would sport with 〈◊〉 Ignobility, and say; That he was, Na● di casa Illustre; Son of an Illustri●● House.  
109. When the King of Spain Conquered Portugal, he gave special charge to the Lieutenant, that the Souldie● should not spoil, lest he should aliena●● the hearts of the People: The Army al●● suffered much scarcity of Victual. Where upon the Spanish Soldiers would after wards say; That they had won the King 〈◊〉 Kingdom on Earth; As the Kingdom 〈◊〉 Heaven useth to be won; By Fasting an● abstaining from that which is another Mans.  
110. They feigneda Tale of Sixtu●● Quintus, whom they called Size-A●●●▪ ●●at after his Death he went to Hell, ●●d the P●●ter of Hell said to him; You ●●ve some reason to offer yourself to this 〈◊〉, because you were a wicked Man; 〈◊〉 yet, because you were a Pope, I have ●er not to receive you: You have a place your own, Purgatory, you may go thi●●. So he went away, and sought about ●●reat while for Purgatory, and could 〈◊〉 no such place. Upon that, he took ●●rt and went to Heaven, and knocked; 〈◊〉 St. Peter asked Who was there? He 〈◊〉, Sixtus Pope. Whereunto St. Peter 〈◊〉, why do you knock? you have the Keys. ●●uts answered, It is true, but it is so ●g since they were given, as I doubt the ●●rds of the Lock are altered.  
111. Charles King of Swide, a great ●emy to the Jesuits; when he took 〈◊〉 of their Colleges, he would hang 〈◊〉 old Jesuits, and put the young to 〈◊〉 Mines, saying; That since they wrought ●ard above ground, he would try how ●d they could work under ground.  
112. In Chancery at one time, when 〈◊〉 Counsel of the Parties set forth the boundaries, of the Land in Question, by 〈◊〉 Plot; And the Counsel of the one ●●rt said; We lie on this side, My Lord: ●●d the Counsel of the other part said; And we lie on this side, The Lord Chancellor Hatton stood up and said; If you lie on both sides, whom will you ●ave me to believe?  
113. Sir Edward Cook was wont to say, when a great Man came to Dinner to him, and gave him no knowledge of his coming; Sir, since you sent me no word of your coming, you must dine with me; But if I had known in due time, I would have dined with you.  
114. William Earl of Pembroke, upon the complaint made of a Servant of his, laid a Citizen by the heals, thinking to bend him to his Servants desire: But the Fellow being stubborn, the Servant came to his Lord, and told him; Your Lordship I know has gone as far as well you may, but it works not; For yonder Fellow is more perverse than before. Said my Lord, Let's forget him a while, and then he will remember himself.  
115. Pope julius the 3●●, when he was made Pope, gave his Hat unto a Youth, a favourite of his with great ●eandal▪ Whereupon, at one t●●e a Cardinal that might be free with him, said modestly to him; What did your Holiness see in that young man to make him Cardinal? julius' answered, What did you see 〈◊〉 me, to make mr Pope?  
116. The same julius upon like occasion of Speech, why he should bear so great affection to the same Young Man, would say; That he found by Astrology ●hat it was the Youth's destiny, to be a great Prelate; which were impossible, except himself were Pope. And therefore that he did raise him, as the Driver on of his own Fortune.  
117. Sir Thomas Moor had only Daughters at the first, and his Wife did ever pray for a Boy. At last she had a Boy, which being come to Man's Estate, proved but simple. Sir Thomas said to his Wife, Thou prayedst so long for a Boy, that he will be a Boy as long as he lives.  
118▪ Sir Fulk Gravil, afterward Lord Brook, in Parliam. when the House of Commons in a great Business, stood much upon Precedents, said unto them; Why do you stand so much upon precedents? The Times hereafter will be good or bad. If good, precedents will do no harm; If bad, power make away, where it finds none.  
119. Sir Tho. Moor, on the day that he was beheaded, had a Barber sent to him, because his Hair was long; which was thought, would make him more commiserated with the People. The Barber came to him, and asked him, whether he would 〈◊〉 pleased to ●e trimmed In good faith honest fellow, (said Sir Thomas) the King and I have a suit for my head; and till the Title be cleared, I will do no cost upon it.  
120. Stephen Gardiner Bishop of Winchester, a great Champion of the Popish Religion, was wont to say of the Protestants, who ground upon the Scripture; That they were like Posts, that bring truth in their Letters, and lies in their Mouths.  
121. The former Sir Thomas Moor had sent him by a Suitor in Chancery two silver Flagons. When they were presented by the Gentleman's Servant, he said to one of his Men, Have him to the Cellar, and let him have of my best Wine: And turning to the Servant, said; Tell they Master if he like it, let him not spare it.  
122. Michael Angelo the famous Painter, painting in the Pope's Chapel the Pourtracture of Hell and damned Souls; Made one of the damned Souls so like a Cardinal that was his Enemy, as every body at first sight knew it. Whereupon the Cardinal complained to Pope Clem●●t, humbly praying It might be defaced: The Pope said unto him; Why, you know very well, that I have power to deliver a Soul out of Purgatory, but not out of Hell.  
123. There was an Agent here of the Dutch, called Carroon; And when he used to move the Queen for further Succours, and more Men, My Lord Henry Howard would say; That he agreed well with the Name of Charon, Ferryman of Hell; For he come still for more men, to increase Regnum umbrarum.  
124. They were wont to call, Referring to the Masters in Chancery, Committing. My Lord Keeper Egerton, when he was Master of the Rolls, was wont to ask What the cause had done that it should ●e Committed.  
125. They feigned a Tale, principally against Doctor's Reports, in the Cancery; That Sir Nicholas Bacon, when he came to Heaven-Gate was opposed, touching an unjust Decree which had been made in the Chancery. Sir Nicholas desired to see the Order▪ whereupon the Decree was drawn up; and finding it to begin Veneris, etc. Why (saith he) I was then sitting in the Star-Chamber; This concerns the Master of the Rolls, let him answer for it. Soon after came the Master: of the Rolls, Cordial; who died indeed a small time after Sir Nicholas Bacon; and he was likewise stayed upon it: And looking into the Order, he found, that upon the reading of a Certificate of Doctor Gibson, it was Ordered, that his Report should be decreed. And so he put it upon Doctor Gibson, and there it stuck.  
126. Sir. Nicholas Bacon, when a certain nimble-witted Counsellor at the Bar, who was forward to speak, did interrupt him often said unto him; There's a great difference beiwixt you and me: A pain to me speak, and a pain to you to hold your peace.  
127. The same Sir Nicholas Bacon, upon Bills exhibited to discover where Lands lay; upon proof, that they had a certain quantity of Land, but could not set it wont to say; And if you cannot forth; was find your Land in the Country, how will you have me find it in the Chancery?  
128. Mr. Houland, in conference with a young Student, arguing a Case, happened to say, I would ask you but this Question. The Student presently interrupted him, to give him an Answer. Whereunto Mr. Houland gravely said; May though I do ask you a Question, ye● I did 〈◊〉 mean you should answer me, I mean to answer myself.  
129. Pope Adrian the sixth, was talking with the Duke of Sesa, that Pasquit gave great scandal, and that he would have him thrown into the River: But Sesa answered; Do it not Holy Father, For than he will turn Frog; And whereas now he chants but by day, he will then chant both by day and by night.  
130. There was a Gentleman in Italy, that writ to a great Friend of his whom the Pope had newly advanced to be Cardinal; That he was very glad of his Advancement, for the Cardinals own Sake; But he was sorry that himself had lost a good Friend.  
131. There was a King of Hungary, took a Bishop in Battle, and kept him Prisoner: Whereupon the Pope writ a Monitory to him; For that he had broken the Privilege of Holy Church, and taken his Son. The King sent his Embassage to him, and sent withal the Armour wherein the Bishop was taken, and this only in writing; Vide num hae sit Vestis Filij tui: Know now whether this be thy Son's Coat.  
132. Sir Amyas Pawlet, when he saw too much hast made in any matter, was wont to say; Stay a while, that we may make an end the sooner.  
133. A Master of the Requests to Queen Elizabeth, had divers times moved for audience, and been put off. At last he came to the Queen in a Progress, and had on a new pair of Boots. The Queen who loved not the smell of new Leather, said to him; Fie sloven, thy new Boots stink. Madam, said he, It is not my new Boots that stink, but my stal● Bills that I have kept so long.  
134. At an Act of Commencement, the Answerer gave for his Question, That Aristocracy was better than Monarchy. The Replyer, who was a dissolute man, did tax him that being a private bred man, he would give a Question of State. The Answerer said that the Replyer did much wrong the Privilege of Scholars, who would be much straightened if they should give Questions of nothing, but such things wherein they are practised; and added, We have heard yourself dispute of Virtue, which no man shall say you have put much in practice.  
135. Queen Isabella of Spain, used to say; Whosoever hath a good Presence, and a good Fashion, carries continual Letters, of Recommendation.  
136. Alonso of Arragon was wont to say in commendation of Age, that Age appeared to be best in four things: Old Wood best to burn, Old Wine to drink, Old Friends to trust, and old Authors to read.  
137. It was said of Augustus, and afterward the like was said of Septimius Severus: Both which did infinite mischief in their beginnings, and infinite good toward their ends; That they should either have never been born, or never died.  
138. Constantine the Great, in a kind of Envy, himself being a great Builder, as Trajan likewise was; would call Trajan Parietaria Wall flower, because his name was upon so many Walls.  
139. Alonso of Arragon, was wont to say of himself, That he was a great Necromancer, for that he used to ask Counsel of the dead: meaning of Books.  
140. Ethelwold, Bishop of Winchester, in a Famine, sold all the rich Vessels and Ornaments of the Church, to relieve the Poor with Bread; and said, There was no reason that the Dead Temples of God should be sumptuously furnished; and the living Temples suffer pe●●●ry.  
141. Many Men▪ especially such as affect gravity, have a m●●ner after other men's speech to shake their heads. A great Officer of this Land would say, it was as men sh●ke a bottle, to see if there we ● any wit in their Heads or no?  
142. After a great Fight, there came to the Camp of Consalvo the great Captain, a Gentleman, proudly horsed and armed: Diego de Mendoza, asked the great Captain; who's this? who answered; It is Saint Ermine, who never appears but after the storm.  
143. There was one that died greatly in Debt: when it was reported in some Company, where divers of his Creditors casually were, that he was dead; One began to say; Well if he be gone, than ●e hath carried 500 Ducats of mine with him into the other world. And another said; and 200 of mine: And a third spoke of great sums of his. Whereupon one that was amongst them said; I perceive now, that though a Man cannot carry any of his own with him, into the next world, yet he may carry away that which is another Mans.  
144. Francis Car●ajal, that was the great Captain of the Rebels of Peru, had often given the Chase to Diego Centeno, a principal Commander of the Emperor's party: He was afterwards taken by the Emperor's Lieutenant, Gasca; And committed to the custody of Diego Cente●o; who used him with all possible courtesy; insomuch as Carvajal asked him; I pray Sir who are you that use me with this courtesy? Centeno said; Do you not know Diego Centeno? Carvajal answered; Truly Sir, I have been so used to see your back, as I knew not your Face.  
145. Go●domar would say, Love without ends, hath no end: Meaning, that if it were begun, not upon particular ends, it would last.  
146. There was a Merchant died, that was very far in Debt, his Goods and Householdstuff were ●et forth to sale. A stranger would needs buy a Pillow there, saying; This Pillow sure is good to sleep upon, since he could sleep that owed so many Debts.  
147. A Lover met his Lady in a close Chair, she thinking to have gone unknown, he came and spoke to her: she asked him, how did you know me? he said, Because my wounds bleed afresh; Alluding to the common Tradition, that the wounds of a Body slain, will bleed afresh upon the approach of the Murderer.  
148. A Gentleman brought Music to his Lady's window. She hated him, and had warned him often away: And when he would not desist, she threw stones at him: whereupon a Gentleman said unto him that was in his company: What greater Honour can you have to your Music▪ then that stones come about you, as they did to Orpheus?  
149. Coranus the Spaniard, at a Table at Dinner, fell into an extolling of his own Father; saying, If he could have wished of God, he could not have chosen amongst men a better Father: Sir Henry Savil said, what not Abraham? Now Coranus was doubted to descend of a Race of Jews.  
150. Consalvo would say, that the Honour of a Soldier ought to be a good strong Webb: meaning that if should not be so fine and curious, as for every small disgrace to catch and stick in it.  
151. Pre●quet, jester to Francis the first of France, did keep a Calendar of Fools, wherewith he did use to make the King sport; telling him ever the Reason, why he put any one into his Calendar. When Charles the fifth Emperor, upon confidence of the noble nature of Francis passed through France, for the appeasing of the Rebellion of Gaunt, Brisquet put him into his Calendar. The King asked him the cause? he answered; Because you having suffered, at the hands of Charles, the greatest bitterness that ever Prince did from another, nevertheless he would trust his person into your hands. Why Bresquet, said the King, what wilt thou say, if thou seest him pass back in as great safety, as if he marched through the midst of Spain? saith Bresquet; why then I will put him out, and put in you.  
152. Archbishop Grindal was wont to say; That the Physicians here in England, were not good, at the Cure of particular Diseases; but had only the power of the Church to bind and lose.  
153. Cosmus Duke of Florence was wont to say of perfidious Friends, T●at we r●●●d, that we ought to forgive our Enemies; but we do not read that we ought our friends.  
154. A Papist being opposed by a Protestant, that they had no Scripture for Images, answered, yes; For you read, that thy people laid their sick in the streets, that the shadow of Saint Peter might come upon them: and that a shadow was an Image, and the obscurest of all Images.  
155. Sir Edward Dyer; a grave and wise Gentleman, did much be●●eve in Kelly the Alchemist; That he did indeed the work, and did make Gold, insomuch, that he went into Germany, where Kelly then was, to inform himself fully thereof. After his return he dined with my Lord of Canterbury: where, at that time, was at the Table Dr. Prown the Physician. They fell in talk of Kelly. Sir Edward Dyer turning to the Archbishop said; I do assure your Grace, that that I shall tell you is Truth: I am an eye-witness thereof; And if I had not seen it, I should not have believed it; I saw Mr. Kelly, put of the Base Metal into the Chrysible; and after it was set a little upon the fire; and a very small quantity of the Medicine put in, and stirred with a stick of wood; It came forth in great proportion, perfect Gold; to the Touch, to the Hammer, a●● to the Test. My Lord Archbishop said; you had need take heed what you say, Sir Edward Dyer; for here is an Insidel at the Board. Sir Edward Dyer said again pleasantly; I should have looked for an Infidel sooner in any place, then at your Grace's Table. What say you Dr. Brown, said the Archbishop? Dr. Brown, answered, after his blunt and huddling manner; The Gentleman hath spoken enough for me. Why, saith the Archbishop, what hath he said? Marry, saith Dr. Brown, he said, He would not have believed it, except he had seen it; And no more will I  
156. Doctor jonson said; That in sickness there were three things that were material, the Physician, the Disease, and the Patients▪ And if any two of these joined, than they get the victory; For, Ne, He●cules quidem contra duos. If the Physician and the Patient join, than down goes the Disease; For then the Patient recover●; if the Physician and the Disease join; that is a strong Disease; and Physician mistaking the cure, than down goes the Patient, if the Patient and the Disease join, than down goes the Physician, for he is discredited.  
157. Mr. Bettenham said; That virtuous men were like some herbs, and spices that give not out their sweet smell, till they be broken or ●rushed.  
158. The Lord Archbishop Laud said; T●at some Hypocrites and seeming mortified Men, which held down their heads, were like the little Images in the Vaults, or Roofs of Churches; which look and bow down, as if they held up the Church, when as they bear no weight at all.  
159. There was a Painter became a Physician; whereupon one said to him; You have done well; for before the faults of your work were seen; but now they are unseen.  
160. There was a Gentleman, that came to the Tilt, all in Orange Tawny, and ran very ill. The next day he came again, all in Green, and ran worse. There was one of the Looker's on, asked another; What is the reason that this Gentleman changeth his Colours? The other answered, sure, because it may be reported; That the Gentleman in the Green, ran worst than the Gentleman in the Orenge-Tawney.  
161. Mr. Whitehead, a grave Divine, was much esteemed by Queen Elizabeth, but not preferred, because he was against the Government of Bishops. He came, one day of the Queen, and the Queen chanced to say to him; I like thee the better, Whitehead, because th●● livest Unmarried. He answered again; In troth, Madam, I like you the worse for the same cause.  
162. Zelim was the first of the Ottomans, that did shave his Beard, whereas his Predecessors wore it long. One of he Bashaws asked him; why he altered the Custom of his Predecessors? he answered, Because you Bashaws, may not lead me by the bread, as you did them.  
163. Aeneas Silvius, that was Pope Pius secundus, was wont to say; That the former Popes did wisely to set the Lawyers a-work, to debate; Whether the Donation of Constantine the great, to Sylvester, of St. Peter's Patrimony, were good or valid in Law or no? The better to skip over the Matter in Fact, whether there was ever any such thing at all, or no?  
164. The Lord Bishop Andrews, was asked at his first coming over of the Archbishop of Spal●●o, whether he were a Protestant or no? he answered; Truly, I know not; But I think he is a Detestant; That was, of most of the Opinions of Rome.  
165. It was said amongst some of the grave Prelates of the Counsel of Trent, in which the School-Divines bore the sway; That the School men were like the Astronomers, who to save the Phaenomena, framed to their conceit, Eccentricks, and Epicycles, and a wonderful Engine of Orbs; Though no such things were: so they to save the practice of the Church, had devised a great number of strange positions.  
166. Aeneas Sylvious would say; That the Christian Faith and Law, though it had not been confirmed by Miracles, yet was worthy to be received for the Honestly thereof.  
167. Mr. Bacon would say; that it was in his Business, as it is frequently in ways: That the next way, is commonly the foulest; And that if a man will go the fairest way, he must go somewhat about.  
168. Mr. Bettenham, Reader of Grays-Inne, used to say, That Riches were like muck; when it lay upon an heap, it gave but a stench and it Odour; but when it was spread upon the ground, than it was cause of much Fruit.  
I69. Cicero married his Daughter to Dolabella, that held Caesar's pa●ty: Pompey had married julia, that was Caesar's Daughter. After, when Caesar and Pompey tock Arms one against the other; And Pompey had passed the Seas, and Caesar possessed Italy; Cicero stayed somewhat long in Italy; but at last sailed over to join with Pompey. Who when he came to him, Pompey said, you are welcome, but where left you your Son-in-Law? Cicero answered, with your Father-in-Law.  
170. Vespasi●●, and Titus his eldest Son, were both absent from Rome, when the Empire was cast upon Vespasian; Domitian his younger Son was at Rome, who took upon him the Affairs; and being of a Turbulent spirit, made many changes; and displaced divers Officers and Governors of Provinces, sending them Successors. So when Vespasian returned to Rome, And Domitian came into his presence, Vespasian said to him; Son I looked when you would have sent me a Successor.  
171. Nero loved a beautiful Youth, whom he used viciously, and called him Wife. There was a Senator of Rome, that said secretly to his Friend, It was pity Nero's Father had not such a Wife.  
172. Galba succeeded Nero, and his Age being despised, there was much Licence and Confusion in Rome, during his Empire: whereupon a Senator said in full Senate; It were better to live where nothing is Lawful, than where all things are Lawful.  
173. Augustus Caesar did write to Livia, who was over-sensible of some ill words, that had been spoken of them both: Let it not trouble thee, my Livia, if any Man speak ill of us; for we have enough that no Man can do ill unto us.  
174. Chilon said, that King's Friends, and Favourites, were like casting Counters; That sometimes stood for one, sometimes for ten, sometimes for an Hundred.  
175. Theodosius, when he was pressed by a Suitor, and denied him, The Suitor said; Why, Sir, you promised it. He answered; I said it, but I did not promise it, if it be unjust.  
176. The Romans, when they spoke to the People, were wont to style them, ye Romans: When Commanders in War spoke to their Army, they styled them my Soldiers. There was a Mutiny in C●●sars Army, and somewhat the Soldiers would have had, but they would not declare themselves in it, But only demanded a Mission or Discharge; Though with no intention it should be granted: But knowing that Caesar had at that time great need of their service, thought by that means to wrench him to their other desires: whereupon with one Cry, they asked Mission. C●●sar after silence made, said; I for my part ye Romans, this Title did actually speak them to be dismissed: which voice they had no sooner heard, but they mutinied again; and would not suffer him to go on with his Speech, until he had called them by the Name of his Soldiers, and so, with that one word he appeased the Sedition.  
177. Caesar would say of Sylla, for that he did resign his Dictatorship; Sylla was ignorant of Letters he could not dictate.  
●78. Seneca said of Caesar; That he did quickly show the Sword, but never leave if off.  
179. Diogenes begging, as divers Philosophers then used, did beg more of a Prodigal Man, than of the Rest which were present. Whereupon one said to him: See your Baseness, that when you find a liberal Mind, you will take most of him: No, said Diogenes, but I mean to beg of the Rest again.  
180. Themistocles, when an Ambassador from a mean estate, did spoke great matters; said to him, friend thy words would require a city.  
181. Iphicrates, the Athenian, in a Treaty that he had with the Lacedæmonians for peace; And that Questian was made about security, for observing the same peace, said; the Athenians would not accept of any security, except the Lacedæmonians do yield up unto them, those things, whereby it might be manifest, that they could not hurt them, though they would.  
182. They would say of the Duke of Guise, Henry; That he was the greatest Usurer in France, for that he had turned all his Estate into Obligations. Meaning; That he had sold, and oppignerated all his Patrimony, to give large donatives to other men.  
183. C●●sar Bo●gia, after long Division between him and the Lords of Romagna, fell to accord with them. In this Accord there was an Article, that he should not call them at any time, all together in person. The meaning was, that knowing his dangerous Nature, if he meant them Treason, he might have opportunity to oppress them altogether at once. Nevertheless, he used such fine Art, and fair Carriage, that he won their Confidence to meet altogether in Counsel at Cinigalia; where he murdered them all. This Act, when it was related unto Pop● Alexander, his Father, by a Cardinal, as a Thing Happy, but very perfidious; The Pope said; It was they that broke their Covenant first, in coming all together.  
184. Titus Quinctius, was in the Counsel of the Achaians, what time they deliberated, whether in the War, then to follow, between the Romans, and King Autiochus, they should confederate themselves with the Romans, or with King Antiochus? In that Counsel the Aetolians, who incited the Achaians against the Romans, to disable their Forces, gave great words, as if the late victory the Romans had obtained against Philip King of Macedon, had been chiefly by the strength and Forces of the Aetoliaus themselves: And on the other side the Ambassador of Antiochus, did extol the Forces of his Master; founding what an innumerable Company, he brought in his Army; And gave the Nations strange Names; As Elymeans, Caducians' and others. After both their Harangues, Titus Quinstius, when he rose up said; It was an easy Matter to perceive what it was, that had joined, Antiochus, and the Aetoliuns together; That it appeared to be by reciprocal lying of each, touching the others Forces.  
185. Plato was amorous of a young Gentleman, whose Name was Stella, that studied Astronomy; and went oft in the clear Nights to look upon the Stars. Whereupon Plato wished himself Heaven, that he might look upon Stella with 〈◊〉 thousand eyes.  
186. The Lacedæmonians were besieged by the Athenians, in the Port of Peile, which was won, and some slain, and some taken. There was one said, to one of them, that was taken by way of scorn: Were they not brave Men that lost their ●ives at the Port of Peile? He answered; Certainly, a Persian Arrow is much to be ●et by, if it can ch●se out a brave Man.  
187. Clodius was acquit by 2 corrupt jury, that had palpably taken shares of Money, before they gave up their Verdict. they prayed of the Senate a Guard; that they might do their Conscienches, for that Clodius was a very seditious young Nobleman. Whereupon all the World gave him for Condemned. But acquitted he was: Catulus, the next day seeing some of them that had acquitted him, together, said to them; What made you ask of us a Guard? Were you afraid your money should have been taken from you?  
188. At the same judgement, Cicer● gave in Evidence upon Oath: And when the jury which consisted of 57 had passed against his Evidence, one day in the Senate Cicero and Clodius being in Altercation, Clodius upbraided him, and said; The jury gave you no credit: Cicero answered, Five and Twenty gave me credit; But there were two and thirty that gave you no credit; For they had their money beforehand.  
189. Sir Henry Savil was asked by my Lord of Essex, his opinion touching Poets? He answered my Lord; That he thought them the best Writers, next to them that writ Prose.  
190. Diogenes having seen that the Kingdom of Macedon, 〈◊〉 before was contemptible and 〈…〉 alo●t when he died 〈…〉, How he would be buried? He answered; With my Face downward: For within a while, the World will be turned upside down, and then I shall ●e right.  
191. Cato the Elder was wont to say; That the Romans were like sheep; A Man were better to drive a flock of them, than one of them.  
192. When Lycurgus was to reform and alter the State of Sparta; In Consultation one advised that it should be reduced to an absolute Popular Equality▪ But Lycurgus said to him; Sir begin it in your own House.  
193. ●ion that was an Atheist, was showed in a Port-City, in a Temple of Neptune, many Tables of Pictures, of such as had in Tempests made their Vows to Neptune, and were saved from Shipwreck: and was asked, How say you now? Do you not acknowledge the power of the Gods? But said he; I but where are they painted, that have been drowned after their Vows.  
194. Cicero was at Dinner, where there was an ancient Lady that spoke of her own years, and said; she was but forty years old. One that sat by Cicero, rounded him in the ear, and ●aid; She talks of forty year old; But she is a far more out of question. Cicero answered him again; I must believe her, for I have heard her say so, any time these ten years.  
195. There was a Soldier that vaunted before julius C●●sar, of the Hurts he had received in his Face. julius Caesar knowing him to be but a Coward, told him; you were best take ●eed, next time you run away, how you look back.  
196. There was a Suitor to Vespasian, who to lay his Suit fairer, said it was for his Brother; Whereas indeed it was for a piece of Money. Some about Vespasian told the Emperor, to cross him; That the party his Servant spoke for, was not his Brother; but that he did it upon a Bargain. Vespasian sent for the party interessed, and asked him; Whether his Mean employed by him was his Brother or no? He durst not tell untruth to the Emperor, and confessed He was not his Brother. Whereupon the Emperor said, This do, fetch me the Money, and you shall have your Suit dispatched. Which he did. The Courtier which was the Mean, solicited Vespasian soon after about his Suit: Why, (saith Vespasian,) I gave it last day, to a Brother of mine.  
197. Vespasian asked of Apollonius; What was 〈…〉 Who answered, Nero could tune the Marp well, but in Government he did always wind up the strings too high; or let them down too low.  
198. Dionysi●s the Tyrant, after he was deposed, and brought to Corinth, kept a School. Many used to visit him; And amongst others, one when he came in, opened his Mantle and shook his clothes; Thinking to give Dionysius a gentle scorn; because it was the manner to do so, for them that came in to see him while he was Tyrant. But Dionysius said to him; I prithee do so, rather when thou goest out, that we may see thou stealest nothing away.  
199. Diogenes one terrible frosty Morning, came into the Marketplace, and stood Naked, shaking to show his Tolerance. Many of the People came about him, pitying him: Plato passing by and knowing he did it to be seen, said to the People as he went by; If you pity him indeed let him alone to himself.  
200. Aristippus was earnest Suitor to Di●●ysi●s for some Grant, who would give no ear to his Suit. Aristippus fell at his stet, and then Dionysius granted it. One that stood by, said afterwards 〈…〉 Philosopher and be so base as to throw yourself at the Tyrant's Feet to get a Suit: Aristippus answered; The fault is not mine, but the fault is in Dionysius that carries his Ears in 〈◊〉.  
201. Solon when he wept f●r 〈…〉 death, and one said to him▪ 〈◊〉 will not help, answered; 〈…〉 weep, because weeping will not 〈◊〉.  
202. The same Solon being asked; Whether he had given the Athenians the best Laws? answered; The best of those that they would have received.  
203. One said to Aristippus, 'Tis a strange thing, why should men rather give to the Poor, than to Philosophers: He answered, because they think themselves may sooner come to be poor, than to be Philosophers.  
204. Trajan would say of the vain Jealousy of Princes, that seek to make away those that aspire to their succession; That there was never King, that did put to death his Successor.  
205. When it was represented to Alexander, to the advantage of Antipater, who was a stern and Imperious Man; That he only of all his Lieutenants, wore no Purple, but kept the Macedonian habit of black; Alexander said yea, but Antipater is all Purple within.  
206. Alexander used to say of his two Friends, Craterus and Ephestion; That Ephestion loved Alexander, and Craterus loved the King.  
207. It fell out so, that as Livia went abroad in Rome, there met her naked young men that were sporting in the strects; which Augustus went about severely to punish in them: But Livi● spoke for them, and said: It was no more to chaste Women, than so many statuas.  
208. Philip of Macedon was wished to banish one, for speaking ill of him: But Philip answered; Better he speak where we are both known, than where we are both unknown.  
209. Lucullus entertained Pompey in one of his Magnificent Houses: Pompey said, This is a marvellous Fair, and stately House for the Summer; but methinks it should be very cold for Winter: Lucullus ●nswered; Do you not think me as wise 〈◊〉 divers Fools are, to change my habitation in the winter season.  
210. Plato entertained some of his ●riends at a Dinner, and had in the Chamber a Bed or Couch neatly and cost●y furnished. Diogenes came in, and got 〈◊〉 upon the Bed, and trampled it, saying, I trample upon the pride of Plato; Plato mildly answered; but with greater pride Diogenes.  
211. Pompey being Commissioner for sending Grain to Rome, in time of Dearth, when he came to the Sea, found it very tempestuous and dangerous; Insomuch as these about him, advised him by no means to embark; but Pompey said; It is of necessity that I go, not that I live.  
212. Demosthe●es was upbraided by Aeschines, That his speeches did smell, of the Lamp. But Demosthe●es said; Indeed there is a great deal of difference between that which you and I do by Lamp-light.  
213. Dem●des the Orator, in his Age was talkative, and would eat hard: Antipater would say of him; That he was like a Sacrifice, that nothing was left of it but the Tongue and the Paun●l.  
214. Themist●●●es after he was banished, and had wrought himself into great favour, afterwards, so that he was honoured, and sumptuously served, seeing hi● present Glory said unto one of hi● Friends; If I had not been undone, I ha● been undone.  
215. Philo jadaeus saith, That the sens● is like the Sun; For the Sun seals 〈◊〉 the Globe of Heaven, and opens the Glob● of Earth: So the sense doth obscurs Heavenly things, and reveals Earthly things.  
216. Alexander after the Battle of Granicum, had very great Offers made him by Darius: Consulting with his Captains concerning them, Parmenio said; Sure I would except of these offers, if I were as Alexander: Alexander answered; so would I, if I were as Parmenio.  
217. Alexander was wont to say; He kn●w himself to be mortal, chiefly by two things; Sleep, and Lust.  
218. Augustus Caesar would say; That he wondered that Alexander feared he should want work, having no more worlds to conquer: As if it were not as hard a matter to keep, as to conquer.  
219. Antigonus when it was told him that the Enemy had such Volleys of Arrows that they did hide the Sun, said; That falls out well, for it is hot weather, and so we shall fight in the shade.  
220. Cato the Elder being aged, buried his wife, and married a young woman. His Son came to him, and said; Sir what have I offended, that you have brought a Stepmother into your house? The old man answered; Nay, quite contrary Son; Thou 〈◊〉 me so wet, as I would be glad to have more such.  
221. Crassus' the Orator had a Fish which the Romans called Murena, that he made very tame and fond of him; The Fish died, and Crassus wept for it. One day falling in contention with Domitius in the Senate, Domitius said; Foolish Crassus, you wept for your Murena▪ Crassus replied: That's more than you did for both your Wives.  
2●2. Philip, Alexander's Father, gave Sentence against a Prisoner, what time he was drowsy, and seemed to give small attention. The Prisoner, after sentence was pronounced, said, I appeal. The King somewhat stirred, said; To whom do you appeal? The Prisoner answered; From Philip when he gave no ear, to Philip when he shall give ear.  
223. There was a Philosopher that disputed with Adrian the Emperor, and did it but weakly. One of his Friends that stood by, afterwards said unto him: Methinks you were not like yourself last day, in Argument with the Emperor; I could have answered better myself: Why said the Philosopher; Would you have me contend with him, that commands thirty Legions?  
224. When Alexander passed into Asia▪ he gave large Donatives to his Captains, and other principal men of Virtue; insomuch as Parmenio asked him; Sir, what do you keep for yourself? he answered, Hope.  
225. Vespasian set a Tribute upon Urine: Titus his son emboldened himself to speak to his Father of it: And represented it as a thing indigne and fordid, Vespasian said nothing, for the time; but a while after, when it was forgotten, sent for a piece of Silver out of the Tribute-money; And called to his Son, bidding him to smell to it; and asked him, whether he found any offence? who said, No: Why so, saith Vespasian again; Yet this comes out of Urine.  
226. Nerva, the Emperor, succeeded Domitian, who had been Tyrannical; and in his time many Noble Houses were overthrown by false Accusations; The Instruments whereof were chiefly, Marcellus and Regulus. The Emperor Nerva one night supped privately with some six or seven: Amongst which there was one that was a dangerous Man; and began to take the like courses, as Marcellus and Regulus had done. The Emperor fell into Discourse of the Injustice and Tyran●●● of the former Time; And by Name, of the two Accusers; And said; What should we do with them, if we had them nox? One of them that was at Supper, and was a free-spoken Senator, said; Marry, they should sup with us.  
227. There was one that found a great Mass of Money digging under ground in his Grand fathers-House; And being somewhat doubtful of the Case, signified it to the Emperor, that he had found such Treasure. The Emperor made a Rescript thus; Use it. He writ back again; That the sum was greater than his Estate or Condition could use. The Emperor writ a new Rescript, thus; Abuse it.  
228. julius' caesar, as he passed by, was by Acclamation of some that stood in the way, termed King; to try how the People would take it. The People showed great murmur and distaste at it. Caes●r finding where the wind stood, slighted it, and said; I am not King but Caeser: As if they had mistaken his Name. For Rex was a surname amongst the Romans, as King is with us.  
229. When Croesus, for his glory, showed Solon his great Treasures of Gold; Solon said to him; If another King come that hath better iron than you, he will be master of all this Gold.  
230. Aristippus being reprehended of Luxury, by one that was not rich; for that he gave six Crowns for a small Fish; answered, Why, what would you have given? The other said, some Twelve pence. Aristippus said again; And six Crowns is no more with me.  
231. Plato reprehended severely a young man, for entering into a dissolute house. The young man said to him; why do you reprehend so sharply for so small a matter? Plat● replied, But custom is no small matter.  
232. Archidamus, King of Lacedaemon, having received from Philip, King of Macedon (After Philip had won the victory of Cherone●, upon the Athenians) proud Letters, writ back to him; That if he measured his own shadow, he would find it no longer than it was before his victory.  
233. Pyrrhus, when his Friends congratulated to him his victory over the Romans, under the Conduct of Fabritius, but with great slaughter of his own side, said to them again; yes, but if we have such another victory, we are undone.  
234. Plato was wont to say of his Master Socrates; That he was like the Apothecary's Galley-Pots; that had on the outside Apes, and Owls, and Satyrs; but within precious Drugs.  
235. Alexunder sent to Phocyon a great Present of Money. Phocyon said to the Messenger; Why doth the King send to me, and to none else? The Messenger answered, Because he takes you to be the only good 〈◊〉 in Athens. Phocy●n replied; If he think so, pray ●et him suffer me to be so still.  
236. At a Banquet, where those that were called the seven Wisemen of Greece, were invited by the Ambassador of a Barbarous King; The Ambassador related; That there was a Neighbour mightier than his Master, picked quarrels with him, by making impossible Demands, otherwise threatening War, and now at that present had demanded of him, to drink up the Sea. Whereunto one of the wise men said, I would have him undertake it. Why, saith the Ambassador, how shall be come off? Thus, (saith the Wise man) let that King first stop the Rivers, which ran into the Sea; which are no part of the bargain; and then your Master will perform it.  
238. The Lacedæmonians had in custom to speak very short, which being an Empire, they might do at pleasure: but after their Defeat at Leuctra, in an Assembly of the Grecians, they made a long Invective against Epaminondas; Who stood up, and said no more but this; I am glad we have brought you to speak long.  
239. Fabius Maximus being resolved to draw the War in length, still waited upon Hannibal's progress to curb him: And for that purpose he encamped upon the High Ground: But Terentius his Colleague, fought with Hannibal, and was in great peril of overthrow, But than Fabius came down from the High Grounds, and got the day. Whereupon Hannibal said; That he did ever think ●hat that same cloud that hanged upon the Hills, would at one time or other give a Tempest.  
240. Hanno the Carthaginian, was ●ent Commissioner by the State, after the ●econd Carthaginian War, to supplicate for Peace; And in the end obtained it: yet one of the sharper Senators said; you have often broken with us the Peace's, whereunto you have been sworn; I pray, by what God will you swear? Hanno answered; by the same gods that have punished the former perjury so severely.  
241. Caesar when he first possessed Rome, Pompey being fled, offered to en●er the sacred Treasury to take the Mo●eys that were there stored: And Metel●● us, Tribune of the People, did forbid him; And when Metellus was violent in it, and would not desist; Caesar turned to him, and said; Presume no further, or I will lay you dead. And when Metellus was with those words somewhat astonished, Caesar added; Young man, it had been easier for me to do this, tha● to speak it.  
242. Caius Ma●ius, was General of the Romans against the Cimbers, who came with such a Sea of People upon Italy. In the Fight there was a Band of the Cadurcians of a thousand, that did notable service; whereupon, after the Fight, Marius did denizen them all for Citizens' of Rome, though there was no Law to Warrant it. One of his Friends did present it unto him; That he had transgressed the Law, because that privilege was not to be granted but by the people. Whereunto Marius answered; That fo● the ●oyse of Arms he could not ●ear the Laws.  
243. Pompey did consummate the Wa● against Sertorius, when Metellus ha● brought the Enemy somewhat low. H● did also consummate the War against th● Fugitives, whom Crassus had before de●feated in a great Battle. So when Lucul●lus had great and glorious Victori● against Mithrid●tes and Tigranes; ye● Pompey by means his friends made, wa● sent to put an end to that War. Where upon Luce●●us taking indignation, as disgrace offered to himself, said; Th● Pompey was ● Carrion Crow, when o●thers ha● strucken down the bodies, th● Pompey came and preyed upon them.  
244. Antisthenes' being asked of one what learning was ●●st necessary for man's life? Answered, To unlearn that which is nought.  
245. Alex●nder visited Diogenes in his Tub; And when he asked him, what he would desire of him? Diogenes answered; T●at you would stand a little a ●ide, that the Sun m●y come t● me.  
246 The same Diogen●s, when Mic● came about him, as he was eating, said; I see▪ that even Diogenes nourisheth Parasites.  
248. Heraclitus the obscure said; The dry light is the best soul: meaning when the faculties intellectual are in vigour; not drenhed, or as it were, blooded by the affections.  
249. One of the Philosophers was asked; what 〈◊〉 wise man differed from a ●ool? He answered, send them both Naked to those that know them not, and you shall ●●●ceive.  
250. There was a Law made by the Romans, against the Bribery and Extor●●●n of the Governors of Provinces. Cic●●o saith in a speech of his ●o the People; That ●e thought the Provinces would petition to the state of Rome to have tha●●aw repeated, ●●r (●aith he) before the Governors did bribe and extort, as much as was sufficient f●r themselves: But now ●hey bribe and extort as much as may b● enough, not only for themselves, but for the Judges, and jurors, and Magistrates.  
251. Aristipp●● sailing in a Tempest, showed signs of fear. One of the Seamen said to him, in an insulting manner; W● that are Plebeians, are ●ot troubled; you that are a Philosopher, are afraid. Aristippus answered; That there is not the like wager upon it, for you to perish and ●or me.  
252. There was an Orator, that defended a cause of Aristippus, and prevailed. Afterwards, he asked A●i●tippus; Now, in your distress, what did Socrates do you good? Aristippus answered, Thus, in making that which you said of me to be true.  
253. There was an Epicurean vaunted, that divers of other Sects of Philosophers did after turn Epicureans; But there was never any Epicurean that turned to any other Sect. Whereupon a Philosopher that was of another Sect, said; The reason was plai●, for that Cocks may be mad● Capons; but Capons could never b● mad● Cocks.  
254. Chilo● would say: That Gold was tried with the touchstone: and m●n with G●ld.  
255. Si●onides being asked of Hier● what he thought of God? asked a seven-nights time to consider of it: And at the seven-nights end, he asked a Fortnight's time: At the Fortnight's end, A Month. At which Hier● marveling, Sim●nides answered; That the longer he thought upon the matter▪ the more difficult be found it.  
258. A Spaniard was censuring to a French Gentleman the want of Devotion, amongst the French; In that, whereas in Spai●, when the Sacrament goes to the sick, any that meets with it, turns back and waits upon it to the house whither it goes; But in France, they only do Reverence, and pass by. But the Fr●●ch Gentleman answered him; There is reason for it; For here with us, Christ is secure amongst his Friends; But in Spain there b● so many jews, and Marano's, that it is not amiss for him to have a conv●y.  
259. Mr. Popham, (afterwards Lord chief Justice Popham) when he was Speaker; And the House of Commons' had sat long and done, in effect nothing; coming one day to Queen Elizabeth, the said to him; Now Mr. Speaker; what hath passed in the Commons House? He answered, if it please your majesty, seven weeks.  
260. Agathocles, after he had taken syracuse, the men whereof during the siege, Irad in a bravery spoken of him, all the Villainy that might be; sold the Syracus●●s for slaves, and said; Now if you use such words of me, I will tell your Masters of you.  
261. Themistocles, in his lower Fortune, was in love with a young gentleman who scorned him; but when he grew to his greatness, which was soon after after he s●ught him; Themistocles said; We ●re both grown wise, but too late.  
262. Bion was failing, and there fell out a great Tempest; and the Ma●i●er● that were wicked and dissolute fellows, call●● upon the Gods; but Bio● said to them, pe●ce, let them ●ot know you are here.  
263. The Tur●s made an expedition into Persia; and because of the strai● jaws of the Mou●tai●● of A●me●i●, the Bashaws consulted which way they should get in? One that heard the Debate said; Here's much 〈◊〉 how you shall get in; but I ●ear no body ●●ke care h●w yo● should 〈…〉.  
264. Philip 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉 maintained argua●●nts with a 〈◊〉 in points of his Art, somewhat peremptorily; but the Musician said to him; God forbid Sir, your Fortune were s● hard, that you should know these things better than myself.  
265. Antalcidas, when an Athenian said to him, ●e Spartans ar● unlearned, said again; True, ●or we have learned no ●vil nor vice of you.  
266. Place the bitter Fool, was not suffered to come at Queen Elizabeth, because of his bitter Humour. Yet at one time, some persuaded the Queen that he should come to her; undertaking for him, that he should keep within compass, so he was brought to her, and the Queen ●aid; Come on Pace, now we shall hear of our faults: ●aith Pace; I do not use t● talk of that, that all the Town talks of.  
267. Bishop I atimer said, in a Sermon at Court; That he heard great speech that the Kind was poor; And many ways were propounded to make him Rich: For his part, ●e had thought o● one way, which was; That they should help the King t● some good Office; for all his Officers were rich.  
268. After the defeat of Cyrus the younger, Falinus was sent by the King to the Grecians, (who had for their part rather victory, than otherwise) to command the● to yield their arms; which when it was denied, Falinus said to clearch●s; Well then, t●e King lets you know▪ that if you remove from the place where you are now encamped, it is War; if you stay it is Truce: What shall ● say you will do? Clearchus' answered, It pleaseth us, as it pleaseth the King. How is that? faith Falinus, saith Clearchus; If we remove, War; If we stay, Truce; and so would not disclose his purpose.  
269. Alcibiades came to Pericles, and stayed a while ere he was admitted. When he came in, Pericles civilly excused it, and said; I was studying how to give mine account. But Alcibiades said to him, If you will be ruled by me, study rather how to give no account.  
270. Mendoza that was Viceroy of Per●, was wont to say; That the Governament of Peru was the best plave that the King of Spain gave, save that it was somewhat too nea● Madrid.  
271. When Vesp●sian passed from Jury, to take upon him the Empire, he went by Alexendria, where remained two famous Philosphers; Apolloniu● and Euphrates. The Emperor heard the discourse, touching matter of State, in the presence of many. And when he was weary of them, he broke off, and in a secret derision, finding their Discourses but speculative, and not to be put in practice, said; Oh that I might govern wise men, and wise men govern me.  
272. Cardinal Xime●es upon a Mu●ter, which was taken against the Moors, was spoken to by a servant of his to stand ● little out of the smoke of the Harquebus, but he said again, That that was his ●●c●ns●.  
273. Nero was wont to say of his Master seneca, That his ●●ile was like mortar without lim●.  
275. Augustus Caesar, out of great indignation against his two daughters; ●nd posthumus Agripp●, his Grandchild, whereof the two first were infamous; and the last otherwise unworthy, would ●ay; That they were not his seed, but ●ome imposthumes tha● had broken from ●im.  
276. A Seaman coming before the ●udges of the Admiralty for admittance ●●to an Office of a Ship, bound for the indies, was by one of the Judges much ●lighted, as an insufficent person for ●hat Office he sought to obtain; the ●udg telling him, That he believed he ●●●ld not say the points of his compass. The seamen answered; That he could say them, ●nder favour, better than he could say his ●ater-Noster. The Judge replied; That 〈◊〉 would w●g●r Twenty shillings with him upon that. The seaman taking him up▪ it came to Trial: And the Seam●n began, and said all the points of his Compass very exactly: The Judge likewise said his Paternoster: and when he had finished it, ●e required the wager, according to agreement; Because the S●●man was to say his compass better, t●an he his Paternoster; which h● had ●ot performed. Nay, I pray sir, hold (quoth the seaman) The●wager is not finished; For I h●●e but hal● do●e: And so he immediately said his compass backward very exactly; which the Judge ●ailing of in his Paternoster, the Seaman carrled away the Prize.  
●77. There was a Conspiracy against the Emperor Cl●udi●●, by Scrib●nin●●s▪ examined in the Senate; where Cl●udius sat in his chair, and one of his Freed Servants stood at the back of hi● Chair. In the Examination, that Freed Servant, who had much power wi●h ●●a●di●●, very bawdily, had almost all th● words: And amongst other things, 〈◊〉 asked in scorn, one of the Examinates▪ who was likewise Freed Servant of S●ribonianus; I pray Sir, i● Scribon●anus had been Emperor, what would you ●ave done? he answered, I wo●ld have stood behind his chair, and held my pe●ce.  
278. One was ●aying; That his gr●at Grandfather, and Grandfather, and Father died at Sea: Said another, ●hat heard ●im; And I wer● as you, I would never come at Sea. Why (saith he) where did your great Grandfather, and Grandfather, and Father die? He answered; Where, but in their Beds? He answered; A●d I w●r● as you, I wo●ld never come in B●d.  
279. T●ere was a dispute, whether great Heads, or little Heads had the better Wit? And one said; It must needs be the little; for that it is a Maxi●e; O●●ne m●jus 〈…〉.  
280. Sir Thom●● Moor, when the Counsel of ●he party pressed him for ● longer day to perform the Decree, said; Take Sai●● Barnabies day, which is th● longest day in th● year. Now Saint Bar●●●ies day, was within f●w days following.  
281. One of the Fathers saith; That there is but this difference between the death of old Men, and young Me●; That old Men go to Death; and De●th comes to young Men.  
283. jason the Thessalian, was wont to say; That some things may be done unjustly, that many things may be done justly.  
●84. There was an Harbinger had lodged a Gentleman in a very ill Room, who expostulated with him somewhat rudely: but the Harbinger carelessly said; yo● will take pleasure i● it, when you are o●t of it.  
285. Dem●trius King of M●c●don, would at times re●i●e himself from business, and give himself wholly to pleasures. One of those his retire, giving out that he was sick, his Father, Antig●nus, came on the sudden to visit him; and met a fair daintly youth coming out of his chamber. When Antigonus came in, Demetrius said; Sir the Fever left m● right now. Antigonus replied; I think it was 〈◊〉 that I met at the door.  
286. C●●● Maj●r would say, Tha● wise men learned more by Fools, than Fools by wise men.  
287. When it was said to A●axagoras; The Athenians have condemned you to die; He said again; And ●●t●re them.  
288. Alexander, when his Father wished him to run for the prize of the Race, at the Olympian Games; (for he was very swift) answered; He wo●ld if h●●ight run with Kings.  
289. Antigonus used often to go disguised, and to listen at the Tents of his Soldiers; And at a time heard some that spoke very ill of him. Whereupon he opened the Tent a little, and said to them; If you would speak ill ●f me, you should go a little further off.  
290. Aristippus said; That those that studied particular Sciences, and neglected Philosophy; were like penelopes wooers, that made love to the waiting-woman.  
291. The Ambassadors of Asia Minor, came to Antonius, after he had imposed upon them a double Tax; and said plainly to him; That if he would have two Tributes in one year; He must give them too seed times, and too Harvests.  
293. An orator of Athens, said to Demosth●nes; The Athenians will kill you, i● they wax mad: Demosthenes replied, and th●y will kill you if they be in good sense.  
294. Epicletus used to say; That one of the vulgar, in any ill that happens to him, blames others; A Novice in Philosophy blames himself; and a philosopher blames neither the one nor the other.  
294. Caeser in his book, that he made against Cato, (which is lost) did write to show the force of opinion and reverence, of a Man that had once obtained a popular Reputation; That there wer● s●me that found Cato drunk, and wer● ashamed instead of Cato.  
295. There was a Nobleman said of a great Counsellor; That he would have made the worst Farrier in the world; for he never shod Horse, but he cloyed him: For he never commended any man to the King for service, or upon occasion of suit, or otherwise, but that he would come in, in the end with a But; a●d drive in a Nayl● to his disadvantage.  
296. Diogenes called an ill Physician, Cock, Why? (saith he) Diogenes answered; Because when you crow, men use to rise.  
297. There was a Gentleman fell very sick, and a friend of his said to him; surely, you are in danger; I prayed send for a Physician: But the sick man answered; It is no matter, for if I die, I will die at leisure.  
299. A certain friend of Sir Thomas Moor, taking great pains about a Book, which he intended to publish (being well conceited of his own wit, which no man else thought worthy of Commendation) brought it to Sir Thomas Moor to peruse it, and pass his judgement upon it; which he did: And finding nothing therein worthy the Press; he said to him with a grave Countenance; That if it wer● in verse, it would be more worthy. Upon which words, he went immediately and turned it into verse, and then brought it to Sir Thomas again, who looking thereon, said soberly; yes marry, now it is somewhat; for now it is Rhyme; whereas before it was neither Rhyme nor Reason.  
300. Sir Henry Wotton used to say: That Critics were like Brushers of Noble M●●ts clothes.  
301 Hannibal said of Fabius Maximus, and of Marcellus; whereof the former waited upon him, that he could make no progress: and the latter had many sharp fights with him; That he feared Fabius like a Tutor: A●d Mercellus like an Enemy.  
302. When King Edward the second, was amongst his Torturers, who hurried him too and fro, That no man should know where he was, they set him dow● upon a Bank: And one time the more to disguise his Face shaved him, and washed him with cold water of a Ditch by: The King said: Well, yet, I will have warm water for m● Beard: And to shed abundance of Tears.  
303. One of the seven was w●nt to say; That Laws wer● like Cop we●s: wh●re the small Flies were caught, and the great brak● through.  
304. Lewis the Eleventh of France, having much abated the greatness and power of the Peers, Nobility, and Court of Parliament, would faith; That he had brought the Crown out of Ward.  
305. There was a cowardly Spanish Soldier, that in a Defeat the Moors gave, ran away with the foremost. Afterwards when the Army generally fled, thi● Soldier was missing. Whereupon 〈◊〉 said by some, that he was slain: No ●●re (saith one) He is alive: For the Moors eat no Hares Flesh.  
306. A Gentleman that was punctual of his word, and loved the same in others: when he heard that two persons had agreed upon a meeting, about serious affairs, at a certain time and place; And that the one party failed in the performance, or neglected his Hour; would usually say of him; He is a young man then.  
307. Anacharsis would say, concerning the popular Estates of Graecia; That he wondered how at Athens, Wise men did 〈◊〉 and Fool dispose.  
308. His Lordship, wh●n he had finished this collection of Apophthegms, concluded thus; Come now, all is well: They say, he is not a wise man that will lose his friend, for his wit: But he is less a wise man, that will lose his friend, for another man's wit.  
FINIS.