THE four-legged ELDER OR, A horrible Relation of a Dog and an Elders Maid.  
To the Tune of The Lady's fall.  

ALL Christians and Lay-Elders too  
for shame amend your Lives,  
I'll tell you of a dogtrick now,  
which much concerns your Wives:  
An Elder's Maid near Temple-bar  
(ah what a quean was she)  
Did take an ugly mastiff cut  
where Christians use to be;  
Help House of Commons, House of peers,  
oh now or never help,  
Th' Assembly hath not sat four years,  
yet hath brought forth a Whelp.   

One Evening late she stepped aside,  
pretending to fetch Eggs,  
And there she made herself a Bride  
to one that had four legs:  
Her Master heard a rumblement,  
and wondered she did tarry,  
Not dreaming (without his consent)  
his Dog would ever marry:  
Oh house of commons, house of peers, etc   

He went to peep, but was afraid  
and hastily did run  
To fetch a staff to help his Maid,  
not knowing what was done,  
He took his Ruling Elders Cane,  
and cried out help, help here,  
For Swash our mastiff and poor Jane  
are now sight Dog sight bear.  
Oh house of Commons, house of peers, etc   

But when he came he was full sorry,  
for he perceived their strife,  
That according to the Directory  
they two were Dog and Wife:  
Oh (Than said he) thou errant quean,  
why hast thou me beguiled,  
I wondered Swash was grown so lean,  
Poor Dog he's almost spoiled.  
Oh house of Commons, house of peers, &c.   

I thought thou hadst no carnal sense  
but what's in other Lasses,  
And could have quenched thy cupiscence  
according to the Classes,  
But all the Parish see it plain  
since thou art in this pickle,  
Thou art an Independent quean,  
and lov'st a Conve●ticle.  
Oh house of Commons, house of peers, &c.   

Alas now each Malignant Rogue  
will all the World persuade  
That she that's Spouse unto a Dog  
may be an Elders Maid,  
They'll jeer us if abroad we stir,  
good Master Elder stay,  
Sir, of what Classis i● your cur?  
and then what can we say?  
Oh house of Commons, house of peers, &c.   

They'll many graceless Ballads sing  
of a Presbyterian,  
That a lay-eld is a thing  
made up half Dog half Man;  
Out, out, said he, and smote her down,  
was mankind grown so scant▪  
There's scarce another Dog in town  
had took the Covenant.  
Oh house of Commons, house of peers, &c.   

Then Swash began to look full grim,  
and Jane did thus reply,  
Sir, you thought nought too good for him,  
you fed your Dog too high,  
'tis true, he took me in the lurch,  
and leapt into my arm,  
But as I hope to come to Church  
I did your Dog no harm.  
Oh house of Commons, house of peers, &c.   

Then she was brought to Ne●gate gaol  
and there was naked stripped,  
They whipped her till the cord did fail,  
as dogs use to be whipped▪  
Poor City Maids shed many a tear  
when she was lashed and langed,  
And had she been a Cavalir  
surely she had been hanged,  
Oh house of Commons, house of peers,   

Hers was but Fornication doomed,  
for which she felt the lash,  
But his was buggery presumed,  
therefore they hanged Swash:  
What had become of Bishops then,  
or Independency,  
For now we find both dogs and Men  
stand for Presbytery.  
Oh house of Commons, house of peers &c.   

She might have took a Sowgelder▪  
with Synod-men good store,  
But she would have a lay-eld  
with two legs and two more:  
Go tell th' Assembly of Divines,  
tell Adoniram Blew,  
Tell Burgess, marshal, Case, and Vines,  
tell Now and-anon-too.  
Oh house of Commons, house of peers, &c.   

Some said she was a Scotish girl,  
or else (at least) a Witch,  
But she was borne in Colchester,  
was ever such a Bitch▪  
Take heed all Christian Virgins now,  
the Dog-star now prevails,  
Ladies beware your Monkeys too,  
for Monkeys have long tails.  
Oh house of Commons, house of peers, &c.   

Bless King & Queen and send us peace  
as we had seven years since▪  
For we remember no dog-days  
while we enjoyed, our Prince:  
Bless sweet Prince Charles, two Dukes, three get  
Lord save His majesty,  
Grant that his Commons, Lords & Earls  
may lead such Lives as He.  
Oh House of Commons, House of peers,  
Oh now or never help,  
Th' Assembly hath not sat four years,  
yet hath brought forth a Whelp.   
FINIS.