THE four-legged ELDER,  
OR, A true RELATION OF A DOG and an ELDER'S Maid.  
To the Tune of The Lady's Fall, or Gather your rosebuds; and forty other Tunes.  

1.  
ALl Christians and Lay-Elders too,  
For shame amend your Lives;  
I'll tell you of a dogtrick now,  
Which much concerns your Wives.  
An Elder's Maid near Temple-bar,  
(O what a Quean was she!)  
Did take an ugly mastiff Cur  
Where Christians use to be.  

Help House of Commons, House of Peers!  
O now or never help!  
Th' Assembly having sat four years  
Has now brought forth a Whelp.    

2.  
One evening late she stepped aside,  
Pretending to fetch Eggs;  
And there she made herself a Bride  
To one that had four legs.  
Her Master heard a Rumblement,  
And wondered she did tarry,  
Not dreaming, without his consent,  
His Dog would ever marry.   

3.  
Her Master peeped, but was afraid,  
And hastily did run  
To fetch a staff, to help his Maid,  
Not knowing what was done.  
He took his Ruling-Elder's Cane,  
And cried out, Help, help here!  
For Swash our Mastiff and poor Jane  
Are now Fight Dog fight Bear.   

4.  
But when he came, he was full sorry,  
For he perceived their strife,  
That, according to the Directory,  
They two were Dog and Wife.  
Ah then, said he, thou cruel Quean,  
Why hast thou me beguiled?  
I wondered Swash was grown so lean;  
Poor Dog! he's almost spoiled.   

5.  
I thought thou hadst no carnal sense  
But what's in other Lasses,  
And couldst have quenched thy' cupiscence  
According to the Classes.  
But all the Parish sees it plain  
Since thou art in this pickle,  
Thou art an Independent Quean,  
And lov'st a Conventicle.   

6.  
Alas! now each Malignant Rogue  
Will all the world persuade  
That she that's Spouse unto a Dog  
May be an Elder's Maid:  
They'll jeer us if abroad we stir,  
Good Master Elder, stay,  
Sir, of what Classis is your Cur?  
And then what can we say?   

7.  
They'll many graceless Ballads sing  
Of a Presbyterian,  
That a lay-eld is a thing  
Made up half-Dog, half-Man.  
Out, out, said he, and smote her down;  
Was Mankind grown so scant?  
There's scarce another Dog i'th' Town  
Had took the Covenant.   

8.  
Then Swash began to look full grim,  
And Jane did thus reply,  
Sir, you thought nought too good for him.  
You fed your Dog too high:  
'Tis true, he took me in the lurch  
And leapt into mine Arm,  
But as I hope to go to Church,  
I did your Dog no harm.   

9  
Then she was led to Newgate Jail,  
Where she was naked stripped;  
They whipped her till the Cord did fail,  
As dogs used to be whipped.  
Poor City-Maids shed many a tear  
When she was lashed and banged:  
But had she been a Cavalier  
Surely she had been hanged.   

10.  
Hers was but Fornication found,  
For which she felt the lash;  
But his was Buggery presumed,  
Therefore they hanged Swash.  
What will become of Bishops then  
Or Independency?  
For now we find both dogs and Men  
Stand for Presbytery.   

11.  
She might have took a sowgelder,  
With Synod-men good store;  
But she would have a lay-eld  
With two legs and two more.  
Go tell th' Assembly of Divines,  
Tell Adoniram blue,  
Tell Burgess, Marshal, Case, and Vines;  
Tell Now-and-anon-too.   

12.  
Some say she was a Scottish Girl,  
Or else, at least a Witch;  
But she was born in Colchester:  
Was ever such a Bitch!  
Take heed, all Christian Virgins now,  
The Dog-star now prevails;  
Ladies, beware your monkeys too,  
For monkeys have long tails.   

13.  
Bless King and Queen, and send us Peace  
As we had seven years since:  
For we remember no Dog-days  
While we enjoyed our Prince.  
Bless sweet Prince Charles, two Dukes, three Girls;  
Lord save his Majesty!  
Grant that his Commons, Bishops, Earls,  
May lead such lives as He.  

Help House of Commons, House of Peers!  
O now or never help!  
Th' Assembly having sat four years  
Has now brought forth a whelp.     

Printed in the year 1647. And Reprinted 1677. for D. Mallet.