THE Salamanca Wedding: OR, A True Account of a Swearing Doctor's Marriage with a Muggletonian Widow in Breadstreet. London, August 18 th'. 1693.  
In a Letter to a Gentleman in the Country.  
SIR,  
THE only News of importance I have to communicate to you at present, is, That the famous and never-to-be-forgotten Dr. O— 'tis was married the beginning of this week. You know, for a person of his Constitution, that always expressed, and perhaps inherited an aversion to the Fair Sex; and ●esides, had found out a Back door to bestow his 〈◊〉 and Strength elsewhere, 〈◊〉 himself at last to the and Duties of Matrimony, is as unnatural 〈◊〉 unexpected a Change as for an Old Miser to turn Prodigal; and this perhaps was the surprising Revolution which most of our Almanacs both at home and abroad threatened us with in the month of August. I remember I happened to be at Garraway's, when a Gentleman came in, and told us the News. Immediately all other discourse ceased, East-India Actions, the price of Pepper, and rising of Currants; not a word of our Army in Flanders, or the Siege of Belgrade, the Turkey Fleet, and the Battle at Landen were not mentioned in two hours after. Nay, the Duke of Savoy, who is now working miracles for us in Piedmont, was wholly laid aside. Every body stood amazed, and it was a considerable time before they could recover themselves out of this astonishment. At last, an Old Gentleman at the upper end of the Table, broke the silence, and made himself and the Company very merry at the Doctor's Expense. Says he, I remember I have somewhere read, that when Erasmus heard that Martin Luther, of blessed Memory; was married, he should say in a j●sting manner, That if, according to the Old Tradition, Antichrist was to be got between a Monk and a Nun, the World was now in a fair way to have a Litter of the sort. Not that I would by any means (continues he) apply this story to the Doctor, for God forbid that we should ever live to see a Brood of Sucking Antichrists come out of the Doctor's Loins. My meaning is only this, That since the Saviour of the Nation has joined his Saving Faculty with a Damning Talon (for you are to understand his Lady is a Muggletonian, and those people pretend to have the power of Damnation) we may now expect to see a Motley Race of half Saviour's and half Dammers. Hold you there, cries another Gentleman, you ought to have said half Dammers and half Saviour's; for since the Mother's is the surest side, if the Doctor lives to have Children, they'll Dam in all likelihood before they'll Save.  
The Doctor (as I have been acquainted by several of his intimate Friends) had Two Reasons to incline him to marry in his Old Age. The first was his great Grief and Concern to see the Noble Army of Evidences defeated, Bedlow, Dugdale and Dangerfield, sleeping with their Fathers; viz. the Witnesses that swore against Sus●nna, and those that stoned St. Stephen. Fuller, who with good management, would have made a clever fellow, buried alive in a Prison, Etcoetera Young, his Virtuous Companion, routed, past all hopes of rallying. Others, at the sight of a Pillory, or Whipp●ng-post, utter●y discountenanced, and ashamed of their Profession. So the Doctor finding the whole hopes of the Family of Evidences centring in himself, and that if due care were not taken the Species would be entirely lost, resolved, as far as in him lay, to prevent its utter extinction, and to raise up Seed to the Popish Plot himself.  
In the Second place, the Doctor was touched in Conscience for some Juvenile Gambols that shall be Nameless. It seems, though he had quitted the other Corruptions of Popery, yet he still fancied Cardinalism. Now all the World knows Conscience is a sad terrible thing. What says the Doctor's Friend St. Austin? Why, Conscientia mille Testes, Conscience is a thousand Witnesses. Is it therefore to be admitted if the Doctor, who, make the be●● of him, is but one single Witness, and scarce that, sound himself forced to yield to a thousand? So then, as I said before, his Conscience perpetually alarming and disturbing him, the Doctor at last, merely for his own ease and quiet, made a Vow to sow his Wild Oats, and not to hide the Talon which God had plentifully given him, in an Italian Napkin.  
No sooner was this pious Resolution communicated to his Friends, who were mightily pleased at the News, but they looked out sharp to find him a proper Yoke-fellow. It was represented to him that a Maid was by no means for his turn, the D. was Fat and Pursy, a Maidenhead was not to be got with out much drudging fort; and besides 'twas now just the Dog days, and who knew but the D. Reins might receive great damage in case of a violent Encounter. At last an Independent Minister advised him to Mrs. Margaret W— of Breadstreet (whose former Husband was a Muggletonian, and she continued of the same Persuasion) urging this Argument in her behalf, that in her the D. might have open and free ingress, egress and regress as oft as he pleased, that as he might enjoy her without the sweat of, so he might eternally Live with her without the least peril of his Brows, she being no Charmer, and consequently would not equip him with a pair of Horns, which he knew the D. abominated, as being Marks of the Beast, and all together Popish. The D. liked the Proposal, and at the first interview, was so extremely smitten with the Gravity and Goodness of her Person, that he could neither Eat (which was much) nor Drink (which was more) till the business was concluded.  
A Comical passage happened at the Commons, which I think very well worth the sending to you. The D. going thither for a Licence, two scurvy Questions were asked him. The first was, whether he would have a Licence to marry a Boy or a Girl; the second whether he would have a Licence for Behind or Before. At this the D. lost all Patience, held up his Cane, and thundered out You Rascal as thick as Hops, till upon the Proctor's crying Pecavi, the Sky cleared up again.  

The Articles of Marriage were as follows.  
Imprimis, The D. promises in verbo Sacerdotis, to keep ne'er a Male Servant in his House under Sixty, and to hang up the Picture of the Destruction of Sodom in his Bedchamber ad reficandam memoriam, and to teach his Children to swear as soon as they can speak,  
Item, The D. promises that he will never offer to attack either in Bed, or Couch, Jointstool, or Table, the Body of the aforesaid Mrs. Margaret W— à parte post, but to comfort, refresh, and relieve her à parte ante, giving the aforesaid Mrs. Margaret W— in case he offends after that manner, full leave to make herself amends before, as she pleases; as also upon a second Trespass, to burn his Peacemaker. However with this Proviso, that whenever the aforesaid Mrs. Margaret W— happens to be under the Dominion of the Moon, that is to say, whenever it is Termtime with the aforesaid Mrs. Margaret W— then the abovementioned D. shall have full power, liberty and Authority ●o enter the Westminster-hall of her Body at which door he pleases. This last Clause was not obtained till after a Stiff Dispute on the D's part, who threatened to break off if it were denied him. The other Articles a● less considerable, I pass over, to come to the main business in hand, the Marriage.  
On the 17th of this present August the Dr. was new Washed and Trimmed, with a large Sacerdotal Rose in his 〈◊〉▪ and all his other Clergy ●●●page, came to the House of an Anabaptist 〈◊〉 in the City▪ where in 〈…〉 of a numerous Assembly, consisting of all 〈◊〉 divisions, and subdivisions of Protestants, he was Married to 〈◊〉. Margaret W— The D. was observed to be very merry all Dinner time, 〈…〉 of his Face, meaning his Chin, moved 〈◊〉. There stood 〈…〉 against him a mighty Surloin of Beef, to which he showed 〈…〉 to the 〈◊〉 in the Reign of the P●●t. After Dinner six fifth Monarch-Men, larded with as many Ranters Danced a Spiritual Jig, and a dozen sweet-Singers of Israel employed their Melodious Quail-pipes all the while. But Madam Salamanca (for so we m●st now ca●l her) seemed not to be much affected with this Diversion, but looked very Disconsolate and Melancholy. One of the Sisterhood asked her why on a day of Rejoicing she expressed so much Sorrow in her looks? To which Madam O. after two or three deep sighs, answered, That she very much doubted (like the Staffordshire Miller that Mounted King Charles after Worcester Fight upon one of his sorry Horses) whether she should be able to bear the weight of the Saviour of three Nations.  
Thus the time was agreeably spent till Ten, at which time a Bell rung to Prayers, and afterwards (his Spouse, after the landable custom of England having gone before) the D. resolutely marched towards the place of Execution. There was no Sack Posset, nor throwing of Stockings, both those Ceremonies being judged to be Superstituous, and things of mere human Invention. The Bed continued in a trembling fit most part of the Night, which I suppose occasioned the report of an Earthquake, which the next Neighbours said they felt that 〈◊〉 Night. 'Tis not doubted but the D. behaved himself with great Gallantry, 〈◊〉 Madam O. told her Midwife that is to be, that the D. Fought out all his ●●inger, and she already begins to Puke, and be out of Order, like Women in a Breeding condition. An ginger 〈◊〉 Morefield, having been consulted upon this occasion, has Prophesied it will prove a Boy, which makes the D. take up all the Hebrew Genealogies in the old Testament, to find out a pat name for him.   
FINIS.   

London, Printed in the Year 1693.