A DISCOURSE AGAINST Unequal Marriages. VIZ. 

Against Old Persons marrying with Young.  
Against Persons marrying without the Parents or Friends Consent.  
Against Persons marrying without their own Consent.    
Auream quisquis mediocritatem diliget.  Horat. 
LONDON, Printed for Dan. Browne, at the Black Swan without Temple-Bar; and Tho. Axe, at the Blue Ball in Duck-lane. 1696.   
AN ESSAY AGAINST Unequal Marriages.  

CHAP. I. The Introduction.  
THE Main and Principal Study of all Persons of what condition soever is, how to divert and pass away their Time with most Ease and Satisfaction; and likewise how to soften and lessen that Perpetual Stock of Miseries which Sin and the Devil have so unhappily brought upon us. This makes mankind in a continual trouble, and causes them still to exercise their Parts, and set their Wits upon the Rack to find out New Arts and Tricks; and are always hoping for New Diversions to gratify their hot and eager desire after Happiness, and to quiet and please their turbulent and unruly Passions; which when best of all, they may be compared to peevish troublesome and Froward Children, that must sometimes be humoured and played withal merely out of policy. And this makes Humane Life so unquiet and disturbed, so strangely restless and uneasy, that nothing can satisfy us but the prospect, at least, of those flattering Joys, which Hopes through a large Telescope present to our longing Eyes. It's Hope alone that makes us wish to live; and these are the puffing Bladders that raise us up, bear us above Water, and keep us from plunging ourselves into the midst of an Ocean of racking Doubts and Despair; though oft they carry us over each rolling Wave, and dash us against some secret Rocks. When a wise and thinking man comes carefully and seriously to reflect upon all his past and former Actions, he finds little but vain idle fooleries not worthy the consideration of a Man, and scarce deserving a serious thought; and in truth would sooner choose almost any sort of Life rather than have 'em played over once more; and the very best and pleasantest of 'em would be both dull and tedious, were they known before hand.  
For this Reason it is that we can never be at rest, our Active Souls being perpetually in Motion, like the Wide Seas, where Swelling Billows are always working and beating upon the Shore, though the Winds be ne'er so still and calm: so that we are always contriving and inventing; always expecting and desiring better things than what we already enjoy, let our Wants and Reasons be never so small and inconsiderable. And for this it is that every Man of what nature soever, so violently pursues some sorts of Pleasures and Divertisements or others, though but very little and mean, if they be such as they may hope for satisfaction from. Some we find who greedily desire nothing but the gross Delights of Sense; others please and hug themselves with the sordid hopes of Wealth and Riches; a third sort are for gratifying their Curiosity with the more refined Pleasures of Books and Knowledge; and others feed upon the Airy Charms of Honour, and the loud Trumpets of uncertain Fame. And so for all others, who commonly follow those Pleasures and Delights, which either the Dictates of the Natural Temper, or the common Rudiments of their Education guides them to.  
But the surest and most certain way to gain Quiet and Satisfaction in this World is, some settled and Honest Employment suitable to our Estates and Qualities; and that accompanied with an Unspotted Reputation and a Good Conscience. I mean such a settled Employment as may keep us from being idle, and free us in a great measure from the sensual temptations of the Devil. Then I don't question but I may bring in Marriage for a large and principal share of our Happiness. For this Blessing of all others, seems to be most solid and durable, and what is most universally agreed upon by all men: it being a Sacred Order and Institution, appointed by God himself when first he made the World; engrafted by Nature, and sought after by most men, as a State of Life capable of affording all those Pleasures and Delights which a Voluptuous Man can seek for; all those Comforts that Virtue and Innocence can desire, and of sweetening the many bitter Portions of this Life. 'Tis this that increases the World, upholds Mankind, and keep 'em from being at an end; and by this we see ourselves renewed, the little Images of ourselves still growing up as we go down. This is a principal means to keep us chaste and Honest, and free us from the Heavy Clogs of Conscience Which always attend Unlawful Acts. 'Tis this, like the Universal Cement, unites Society, joins our Mutual Loves, and Blooming Joys, and makes us Happy; for before we were but half men, and all our Worldly Delights but half complete. And as the moderate Pleasures of it are innocent, so are the Comforts inestimable.  
'Tis true indeed that notwithstanding all these Blessings of a Married Life, yet a Single One is much more to be preferred and esteemed beyond that, by reason of the many and vast advantages belonging to it. But than it must be sure to be always accompanied with that perfect Innocency and unspotted Chastity that is so wonderful strictly required of all that intent to keep to this condition. And then indeed this State of Life may well be termed the best and happiest of all others, it being perfectly stripped and divested of all the unhappy troubles and cares of this World; free as the unbounded light of the Sun, whose Glorious beams do shine o'er all the World; and a life that most resembles that of the Angels. But these indeed are more peculiar Blessings, which Heaven bestows on a few, and never designed 'em for all; therefore a Single Life, in the greatest part of the World, is so far from being good or commendable, that it generally proves a dangerous trap for their Virtue, and a gilded Bait which the Devil sets to corrupt their Innocency. So I shall insist no longer thereon, nor on those Ungracious Wretches who damn and ridicule Matrimony as long as they can get Misses for their own use; but shall look upon Marriage as a thing not only most absolutely necessary to keep up and propagate the World, but also to keep it honest.  
If this great and excellent Blessing of Matrimony be so very commonly and frequently found so vastly contrary to men's expectations, the Wonder is neither great nor strange, since the main Designs and principal Ends of it are too often grossly perverted, and horribly abused, as though it was an ordinary indifferent thing, scarce worth a taking notice of. And if such a State of Life as Matrimony gins rashly and wickedly, 'tis nothing strange if we find it ends foolishly and desperately. When Virtues, Mutual Love, equality in Humours and Ages, consent of Friends or themselves are never, or at least but very slightly considered; the Devil always comes in for a good part, and is certain to have a principal share in all such Matches. When he finds that he can so well insinuate himself into our Business, and can have so great a hand in the chief of all our concerns, there he finds a large and spacious Field to play and please himself withal; and there he is sure to take his full swing of Pleasure by so much indulging his chief Attribute, Envy.  
Since then this is a State of Life of such a vast concern, and upon which depends so large a part of Humane Happiness or Misery in this present World; it will be the highest piece of Imprudence and Folly imaginable, to venture upon such a serious and solemn Undertaking without either Caution or Consideration. Want of care is often reckoned as ill and as dangerous as want of Virtue; and if this will hold good in any place, certainly it will in a business of such importance as this, where all Persons ought to be more than ordinary thoughtful, and to consider that this is their last and best Stake, which should not be thrown away upon every slight and trivial Occasion. To see a man run desperately and rashly to his own certain Ruin, must be an unpardonable Fault, that Wise Men would ever be ashamed of; neither would the World ever acquit those Persons (who marry only to please others) of the most extreme madness, were it not already so sordidly wedded to Money, and for that reason alone most abominably partial to all its Friends.  
Now a main and principal thing that causes Marriages to be so unhappy, and makes this State of Life so miserable, is the inequality of them. This is the great mischief that is become so Epidemical; and from hence arise most of those deadly Feuds and Breaches, and those sad Misfortunes and Sorrows that so usually attend a Marriage-Life, which like pestilential Diseases infect the whole Mass of Blood, and put all things out of order. It is this alone that so often deprives a Wedded Couple of that bright and inestimable Jewel Content: making all their Designs and Actions unsuccessful and unfortunate, and their ends most unhappy and miserable. And it is this Content which is the main and only White to be levelled at; it being the very Throne of all our Happiness, and the utmost height of our Ambition. And when this is miss of, the Person is so far from being pitied, that he is often counted an obstinate Fool that would not, or at best but an Ignorant One, that could not attain to it.  
As concerning Unequal Marriages, it will be very difficult to determine any thing that shall please all; and I done't at all question but a great many Persons will think themselves very highly affronted, when they once come to find their own Faults exposed in their true and proper colours; for every Person mortally hates to see his ugly Face in a true Glass. There is usually such a vast disagreement between Parents and Children in this case, that there is no hopes of ever reconciling them, for they are always so very partial in their own Cases, and so madly run into the Extremes, that they at last become insufferable; sometimes urging things so far, that they seem to try who should bid most for the highest place in Bedlam. The Old Men always hug themselves with the Golden Thoughts of Interest and a Name; and the Young Men with the glittering hopes which proceed from their own Foolish or Vicious Humours. So that however the Case be given, one side must of necessity be exploded, for to please two Opposites at once, is next to impossible. But to show myself as impartial as possibly I can, I shall aim at the middle way, and strive to split the Hair, choosing rather to displease both Parties in a just Case, than humour one in a false.  
Now this same keeping exactly in the middle way in all things, is the great concern that has always been admired, and sought after by the wiser and more public heads of all Ages; a thing much commended and talked of, but ever little practised and understood. Men are always so much in love with themselves, that they believe nothing is Good or Bad, Just or Unjust, but only those things that are for or against their particular Interests. And if a Person has a settled mind perfectly calm and serene, and as free from all Prejudice and Partiality, 'tis but at best like an exact and equal Balance which stands still whilst nothing moves it, but yet is turned aside with the least breath or blast of Wind. So that this way must needs be very difficult to hit on; and in truth 'tis like a Person forced to walk over a deep Well upon a small Cord; if the distant bottom or his giddy head should make him step aside, he's lost beyond hope; but if he keeps upon it, he hurts his Feet, and is still in danger of the bursting of the Cord. However I shall venture my Fortune, as some others before me, and shall endeavour to show the unhappy consequences in both Cases; for in truth there are Vices not to be spared or humoured; though I have a very unthankful sort of an Office, when I am almost certain to displease all sides.  
But before I come to particulars in these Matters, I shall premise thus much, that to complete a true and happy Marriage are required Virtuous Inclinations, Hearty Love, and True Liking, so that they may be both of the same Mind, and both have one and the same Interest and Concern; and to make up this, there must be a suitable agreement in Ages, Humours and Breeding, as well as Religion, Families and Fortunes. Then when the Persons are so well and happily joined, they may expect to find all that's Good and Pleasant, all that's Sweet and Comfortable, and in a word all the Content and Satisfaction that this World will afford.  
But when any of these main and principal Ingredients are wanting, if God bestows his worldly Blessings upon such a Match, it will be much to be wondered at, because in every thing they will be tempted to clash and jar together, making their Lives in continual trouble, like Furious Storms and Tempests, which often end with Ruin and Desolation.  
In discoursing of Unequal Marriages, I shall insist chief upon these three sorts, namely, First of Old Persons Marrying with Young; Secondly, of Marrying without Friends Consent; and Thirdly, of Marrying without their own Consent. And all these I may, with good reason, call Unequal Marriages: The first more properly comprehending Inequality of Ages and Humours; and the two latter, Inequality in Families, Fortunes and Breed. Of these I shall endeavour to treat with all the Justice and Equity Imaginable, and with all the Impartiality of an unconcerned Slander by; not fearing the Surly Looks of the Old Men, nor the Insipid Scoffs and Jeers of the Young.   

CHAP. II. Against Old Persons Marrying with Young.  
THis Chapter contains a very odd sort of a Subject, which will, I am sure, afford matter enough for Ridicule; for to tie Old Age and Youth together in the Matrimonial Noose, is a thing that may well be ranked among the greater sorts of Extravagancies; and which neither Nature, Justice, or the World can justify them in. As for Nature, there can be no manner of pretence of Incitement from thence by either or both Parties; for what can be more unnatural and preposterous than to go about to unite brisk and sprightly Youth with dull and senseless Age? They might as well have undertaken to have joined Summer and Winter, Light to Darkness, or any other such likely piece of Business, as to think with all the Strength of Imagination to couple together a young lusty piece of Flesh with an old frigid Statue. Then as for Justice, it will never be satisfied, for what greater breach can there be of that, than to join two such different Natures together, which will almost certainly be the Destruction of each other, and to entail a stock of Misery upon Persons for term of Life. But for the World, to be sure that will never excuse them, but I am confident will be as forward as possible to laugh at them; and in sober sadness such Matches seem as if they were designed for the laughing purpose. As for my part scarce any thing can seem more ridiculous; for such Marriages look like some very strange extravagant Farce, intended only to set all the Spectators into a huge fit of laughter. And he that observes it well, would think they rather designed to make mirth and sport for others, than to procure any manner of satisfaction to themselves: For some persons are hugely pleased when they can say I'm glad I have made you sport Sir.  
But to come a little closer to the matter in hand; I'll suppose an Old Gentleman, whose brisk days are over, that has a mind to take a turn or two in the World, and once more venture the strength of his Body upon that comfortable Text of Increase and Multiply. What can be more unnatural, than for such a dull Walking Clod of Earth, an Old Doting Fellow of Sixty, to fall a Dying, Sighing, and languishing for a Sprightly Girl of Sixteen? Certainly it must be very comical to see how featly and trim our sweet Sir Courtly dresses himself up for a Ball, or a Visit to his Mistress; how Spruce, Gay and Sparkish he appears with his New Tricks and Fooleries about him; and withal how anticly fine he is in all his Accoutrements, whilst a very Monkey's Face and a Death's Head, shall brave it out and be called a Beauty, forsooth. Nor can it be less pleasant to see how Apelike he mimics the Customs and Actions of the Young Sparks and shining Beaux of the Town (whom he continually envies and mortally hates) and to see him how neatly he practices the Bon Mien, the Good Grace, the exact pointing of the Sword to his right Heel, the genteel role in the Stocking, the Allamode combing of the Wigg, the careless placing of the Hat, and the other noble accomplishments of the Town.  
But the best of all is to see him addressing himself, and paying his Devoirs to the bright Goddess his Mistress, where he falls down right to showing and commending all his Excellencies▪ especially those which he fancies may be most pleasing and grateful to the young beautiful Sex. He tells her He's strong and lusty, tough and sound at heart; and that the Young Men of this present Age are all pitiful, weak, half-gotten Milksops, neither lasting nor able to do service; and all consumptive Puny Shrimps, fit for nothing but to make sauce of. His Mistress perhaps all the while stands listening, being struck dumb with the Charming Rhetoric of this Venerable Mumpsimus. But should Father Greybeard perceive any sort of Complacency in the Little Creature by simpering, smiling or the like, than he falls on a fresh to bragging of his Great and Mighty Feats of Activity, as how well he can Run, Leap and Ride, and the like. But if by chance at any time his Performances are found to be less than his Pretensions (for Old Men oft make trials) than he comes off with an idle flame or excuse, that 'tis only a Fall, a Strain, or Hurt, or some other accidental Misfortune; but that he can still Drink and Wench with the best of the Town. And thus he goes on with such extravagant Commendations of his own dear self; all the while out-ranting a Common Gamester, and out-hectoring a Town Bully.  
The Poor Young Girl who knows little or nothing of the weighty concerns of Matrimony is perhaps caught at last, being alured into the snare with the gay expectations of being Married forsooth, and with the wonderful Honour of having a Husband before she has got over the long and tedious time of her teens; or rather (which is more probable) with the flattering hopes of riding in a fine gilt Coach and Six, or with the harmonious gingling of his Guinea's; or lastly she is forced upon him by a seveer and ridged Father, or some base mercenary Guardian, who upon all accounts makes his Markets on her, and sells her at what price he pleases. Whilst jolly Sir Feeble Fain-would leaves no stone unturned, but bestirs himself on all sides to obtain his desire; is as busy as a Bee, and as merry as the wanton thoughts of a brisk young Wife can make him. But when the Wedding day is come, then he's all in raptures, and is transported beyond measure with delicate hopes of a Sweet Encounter as he calls it; Methinks this conjunction seems far unlike that of Castor and Pollux, but rather like Mecesius tying the living and dead together.  
But to what purpose is all this ado? Or wdat is the consequence of such a hopeful Match, but only the getting himself the right Worshipful Name of Fool, or that more honourable Title of Cuckold? And indeed these dignified Names are not very hard to be obtained, nor much harder to be deserved. For the last of these he is sure to have, let his Wife be never so chaste and Virtuous; except the World be wondrous civil in this Point; which I may venture to assure him is no common Obligation. For the Common People, as the times go now, have got an ugly scurvy trick of speaking as they think when they find no inducement to the contrary. But this is not all; from Sayings they'll commonly fall to ask of Questions; as What kindness she can have for such a Boyish piece of Gravity; what real Comforts can she find in the loathsome Society of a fond jealous Dotard, who suspects all that either look at or speak to her, and dreads nothing like what he knows he deserves? And what true satisfaction can she have by embracing a Statue, and being all night by an unwholesome Nest of Diseases, a Cold Lump of Clay, whose utmost Power is only to increase desires, and set an Edge upon that Appetite, which he can by no means satisfy?  
Those Persons that are so curious and exact in ask Questions of one side, without doubt won't be backwards in the other, but will stily demand, Where are the great Pleasures and sweet Delights such a Husband can take when he finds himself fettered to a peevish ilnatured Wife that most certainly hates him, and at every turn wishes him hanged, or at the Devil; a very kind Creature! Who instead of comforting and cherishing him, plagues and torments him? One that cares for nothing but his Money, fears nothing more than his presence, and wishes for nothing more than her Gallants Company, and her Husband's End? These are only Questions 'tis true, but they are good comfortable ones however, and such as would make the Old Man's Wish tuneable all weathers. No doubt but our Hero will find a huge deal of Pleasure in being almost tongue wearied to death by a screaming shrill Voice, louder than the Waters of London Bridge, or the Cataracts of Nile; and now and then for a pure breathing Diversion, to have his Bald Pate most civilly saluted with a good Brown Cudgel, instead of being gently rubbed by a cleanly young Girl; or to have a Bucket of fine cool Water thrown upon him, when he has far more need of a warm Bed and a good Cordial to cheer up his Old Heart. It will also be a wonderful satisfaction to him to have two or three bawling Brats got for him by some good Neighbour, hanging about him and calling Daddy, Daddy! Perhaps this wise Fool of a Father can hug himself with believing he was instrumental in getting such bouncing Boys at this Age, when his kind Wife and Obliging World know to the contrary.  
These and such like Misfortunes are the common and (I may say) almost certain consequences of all such Matches; and whatsoever Miseries and Troubles the Husband meets withal in these Cases, he can't so much as comfort himself with that poor and mean pleasure of being pitied. The World, though never in such a good humour, will but laugh at all his complaints, and abuse him for what he has done, saying, Now he's paid for all his Old Tricks; the Old Sot is right enough served; who bid him play the Fool in his Old Days? Nay more than all this, the most abominable Rogueries, and greatest pieces of Villainies shall be called Acts of Justice forsooth. Sometimes indeed we meet with a very extraordinary kind sort of Women, who stily to prevent the common and frequent distempers of Old Age; and to ease the dear sweet Husbands of their many cares and troubles of this present World, do sometimes give them a gentle Push into the next: but this falls out as their old Friend the Devil and they can agree.  
Having made a few Observations, and considered the Tricks and Ways of the Old Men a little; let us face about to the other side, and take a small View of the Old Women, who can't forget the pleasures of Youth, but must be sporting and playing still, though just at the Graves Mouth. Certainly this sight can be no less ridiculous and strange than the other; to see an old decayed worn out Widow cast by a Veil and fairly set up for a Beauty and Fortune, when her shrivelled Skin looks like so much Parchment, and serves only for a courser sort of Bag to carry her tattered Limbs and decayed Joints in: with an ugly Hags Face, looking like the true Picture of Envy. And all this in expectation of catching some young Woodcock in a Fool's Trap, whom she doubts not but to out-wit sufficiently, and show him a sly trick for all his desimulation; or perhaps of striking up a Bargain with some Puny Small Wit, whom she supposes easily to bring up to her hand, and manage him which way she pleases. Tho by the way Fools for the most part are worst edged tools to meddle withal, and the most unmanageable Creatures under the Sun.  
Now to obtain her Ends (that is to say a Husband) 'tis necessary to seem brisk and Young again; and to run back ten years in such a case is but a small matter. For this reason she falls to using all the affected Smiles, antic Tricks, and toyish Actions she can think of; still practising the Genteel Motion of the Body, the stately carrying of the Head, the neat side glance of the Eye, the graceful tossing of the Fan, etc. Then to show that all her merry days are not over yet, she's chanting, giggling, and moving her Body at every scraping tune she hears. And she prates and talks the whole Company to silence; (for when the Teeth are fled, the Tongue seldom lie still) and all her Discourse is of Fine Balls, Dancing Bouts, Weddings, Merry Meetings, Gay Gallants, Mistresses, Intrigues and the like. The defects of her Old Wrinkled Face must be carefully supplied by Art, and Patch and Paint must be made use of to fill up those Furrows which Old Time with his Iron Teeth has so well and plentifully bestowed upon her. As for Body, whether straight or crooked, her Tailor can best fit that. But these indeed are disguises too affected and mean, to be of any considerable use in these concerns, being in the readiest way to make the business more odious and ridiculous; for all such unnatural things carry with them a deformity so gross, as can never be concealed.  
When she finds these little Tricks to fail in the intended promotion of her purpose (as one may venture to swear they will) more substantial Means are then to used; and the only way left, is to give out she has good store of Gold, as a thing that seldom fails, and is sufficient to make amends for all other Imperfections and Defects whatsoever: for that, like the glorious Sun, is never Old or Ugly, but always Brisk and Charming, Young and Beautiful. With these gay hopes she probably decoys some young Gaming Fop▪ or cracked Debauthee, who when he is admitted to the Favour of a Visit, swears to her by all that's Good, 'tis her excellent Person he admires and adores before all the Wealth and Granduer in the World; and 'tis her Discretion, Gravity, Virtue, and (sometimes for variety sake) Beauty, which he values and esteems infinitely beyond her Money; with a great many of such fashionable pieces of Gallantry (as they are called) which every Blockhead that is not blind and senseless may see through, and perceive both the Knavery and Folly of. And truly this is no great and wonderful thing now a-days to see such base persons as these so seriously to swear and lie for something, when they do it so very often for nothing at all.  
This formal piece of Antiquity (you must suppose imagining something extraordinary in herself) believes all he says, and perhaps as much more; then pinking up her formal Face with a simpering kind of smile she tells him She cannot believe but he's a mere Wag, a very Wag all over, and only dissembles and flatters to wheedle kind hearted Creatures; but yet she vows that these same Young Men have always a very strange taking way with them, and will never be said nay when they are once set on. upon this with a Compliment and a gracious Smile on her side, and a fawning Leer on his, with the Formalities of a second or third Visit, a Match is clapped up between the Old Fool and the Young. She indeed expecting great and mighty things, but he guessing beforehand what he is like to meet withal, seldom comes at her, passes away his time merrily, and cares but little (as long as the Money goes briskly about) which end goes forward; So that at best he is only as a kept Person in continual Fee. But this won't do with him, for he'll make her to know who's Lord and Master, and since his old Grannam of a Spouse can't please him, her Money must then procure him such a one as can.  
But what says the World to all this? O wondrous civil! as may be guessed by that obliging language which follows. Oh hang her (says one) for an Old Beast; must she be for riding at this time of day? She's past Man's use now, 'tis high time to fall to procuring. Ay (says a second) what should she do but procure a good bit for her poor Husband and help him at a dead lift? Rot her Old Corpse (says a third) she's good for nothing but to make money of. But he, for his part, shall be applauded, and commended for what he does, and encouraged for all his fine Rogueries, and she herself must be content to bear the brunt of all. People are strangely pleased to find she's met withal at last, and wonderfully pleased at every trick he serves her, if he should bring a Miss publicly to his House, or some such slighty business; or if he entertains her every day with the sweet Music of Damn me and Rot me Sparks. But if he chance to find the advantage of touching her Copyhold; of making the dirty Acres fly about, the old Houses to go to Pot, and the tall sturdy Oaks to roar; that's mirth and sport enough for a month at least.  
I will not insist any longer upon the ill effects and unhappy Misfortunes of such Matches as these; and shall omit the many grateful returns these Persons may expect from their Children and other Relations, who are very often fooled out of good Estates by these means, and New Heirs seldom fail of being produced, though 'tis not in every man's power to get 'em. In my opinion the best Use and greatest Advantage that can be made of such Matches is Pennance and Mortification. For such Old Wives and Husbands (besides the many Afflictions they cause) may indeed prove a better Memento Mori than any Death's Head; and perhaps give persons a more lively hint of Mortality than a Skull can do. Such sort of Marriages may indeed be well compared to tying a man Neck and Heels, and leaving him to shift for himself, whilst his struggling only makes him worse. But how great soever the Misfortunes are, they have always an original so very ridiculous, that they are things more to be laughed at than pitied, which have made me less serious in this Chapter than I thought to have been, or perhaps will be counted agreeable to the perfect Rules of Gravity and Modesty; and truly I am very much ashamed to handle this Subject any longer.  
Before I finish this Chapter, I must desire the Courteous Reader to take notice, that in all this Discourse there is not any thing spoken with the least design or intention to bring Old Age into contempt; for I always held that to be a thing that merits the greatest Esteem, Honour and Veneration imaginable. But let all Old Persons take this along with them, that it will ever be counted base and contemptible, and a Curse instead of a Blessing, while it wants the Ornamental Marks of Gravity, Judgement and Discretion, which always ought to carefully attend it, and be inseparable; and that a merry Old Fool, and a gay apish Matron are things so unnatural, that a very Ingenious Person has deservedly reckoned them among the tamer sort of Monsters.   

CHAP. III. Against Persons Marrying without the Parents or Friends Consent.  
THE main design of this Chapter is to show the great imprudence and impiety of all such as run rashly, or without Friend's knowledge or consent, upon such a solemn thing as Matrimony; with the sad and fatal consequences thereof; which will be enough, I'm sure, to deter all Persons of any Sense or Religion from stealing of Matches, or suffer themselves to be stolen by others. This is a great and abominable Crime which has grown wonderful common in these late times; and for aught we can hear more frequent in our Nation, than in our Neighbouring Countries, especially for the Female Sex, because they are allowed more Liberty here, than in most other Parts. Though within these few Years there hath somewhat more care been taken to prevent these Inconveniencies, and Licences have been more cautiously delivered; yet still we find frequent Examples of this nature to the great Misfortunes of the Persons themselves, and sometimes to the Ruin of their Families. And we can't expect it will be otherwise, as long as there are some at every turn ready in the Dukes-Place, the Mint, or some such Privileged corner of the Town, who will do this small Job of Coupling without the inconsiderable formality of a Licence, or the little consideration of the Canonical Hour.  
I shall first speak a word or two concerning such Men as steal Persons much above them-themselves in Fortune, (for I can afford such vile Practices no better title than stealing.) For though this at present is reckoned little or no fault in the Man's part, and the most ridgid and censorious part of the World seldom lay any thing to his charge: Yet for my part I can most clearly and plainly see something in it that's most base and ungenerous, which is far beneath the great and noble Thoughts of Man. For to pretend Love in this case, is almost as ridiculous as the Tailor that very fairly fell in Love with Queen Elizabeth; so that the Person can have no manner of Colour for his Design in hand but a greedy thirsting after Money, and an eager pursuing after those Riches which he hath no sort of Title to, and gets 'em as unjustly as Pirates and Robbers do their Booty. Besides, to Marry purely for Money, without any other considerations, seldom fails of causing an unhappy Life: And common Experience shows us that such Persons as these have very seldom any manner of real Love or Kindness for their Wives, though they be never such Accomplished, Beautiful and Deserving Ladies; then to what a fine pass have these poor Creatures brought themselves to?  
Let all your High Looker's, and great Pretenders to large Fortunes but seriously consider, First, What a vast piece of Injustice 'tis to Rob a Loving Father of a Daughter in which he places so great a part of his Delight; to take his dearest Jewel from him; and violently to tear a lovely Blooming Sprig, which he has Nourished with so much care and tenderness: And though the Night promises well, the Horse stands at the Gate, the Doors open, the Riding-Grown's on, the Lady ready, the Parson waiting, and all things smile and favour the Design, running very smoothly a long; yet in a short time after they are chained together, the Magic ceaseth, the Enchanted Castle Vanishes into fleeting Air; the Tempest rises, and whole showers of Afflictions fall thick, embittering all their Joys, and destroying all their fine expectations. Secondly, Let them all consider what a high piece of Imprudence 'tis for a man so dangerously to venture himself with a young Creature, whose fickle Fancy turns like the wind, and whose ungrounded Love oft upon such accounts meet with its cold and loathing Fits, and curdles to Hatred in a few hours time, which by the overswaying power of flattering and and threatening Friends may bring his Life at her Mercy. Besides, if he marry such when her Portion is not certain, he commits a double Folly to no purpose; and then his Love for Money has left him in a very sweet pickle indeed.  
But now to come a little closer to the business of Marrying without Friend's consent, and to show the greatness of this Offence. It always aught to be considered that Nature has given to Parents an extraordinary Power over their Children, making far greater distinctions here than in any other Persons whatsoever. And as this sort of Government is certainly the most natural of any, so all other Governments seem rather to have been made in imitation of this First Method; being for the most part Acquired by Usurpation and mere Force, and increased by the Strength and Policy of more crafty heads. As Parent's Authority is great, so ought children's Obedience to be great too; and all the Amends and Satisfaction they are ever able to make for their bringing of them into the World, Education, Estates, and the like, is only a dutiful compliance to all their just Commands, and a hearty desire of performing all their good Wishes. Here it is that a Young Man shows his noble temper, as well as humble disposition; and 'tis this that Heaven promises such peculiar Blessings to, and that the World has so oft crowned with its just Applauses.  
As Marriage is the greatest concern, and the Principal thing in which a Parent always takes most care; and to see them well Matched is as much as to see 'em made happy: So for a Son or a Daughter to be disobedient to this, is the greatest piece of Rebellion, as well as the highest point of Ingratitude they can well be guilty of. This indeed has made many a Father (and that with Justice too) utterly cast off a hot-brain Son from all his future care; and whose unlucky Curses have hit him so right, and stuck so close to him ever after, as have driven him to the utmost Miseries that attend Poverty and Rags. The greatness of this Crime few young Persons consider, especially since they are commonly so extremely partial and self-conceited of their own Prudence and Judgement in choosing; laughing at their own Parents and Friends, thinking them all very unfit Persons to consult withal, and not Good or Wise enough to choose for them; but will run madly and furiously on, big with the expectation of some wonderful Charms and extraordinary Bliss, till they are soon foundered and lost, like one that rides a fiery Steed that stops at nothing but runs at Swelling Rivers, Craggy Rocks and Deadly Precipices, till the Rider is hurled off and dashed in pieces. These are the surious transports of Harebrain Youth, who run mad for a Face, and ruin themselves for a mere trifle.  
If all things be throughly and carefully considered, such a Crime as this must appear extraordinary soul and infamous, and of such a Base Nature as can never be excused by an unconcerned Slander by, such as I profess myself to be. To have a kind indulgent Father, whose softest Wishes, and greatest Joys, always attend his Sons good Fortune; careful of him even to the raging Passion of Jealousy, to bestow his utmost Pains, use his greatest endeavours, and still racking his contriving Head both day and night; and all with the joyful expectation of his Sons being great and happy after his death, and placing the greatest part of his own Happiness in his: then to have a stubborn ungreateful Son to dash and overturn the whole Fabric of his great Designs, and by one unlucky Cast, blast all his thriving hopes at once. This is too much for a Father to bear, and then 'tis no wonder to see a Parent (though never so gentle and good Natured) decree the utmost severities, and at one blow to lop off a Monstrous Excrescency.  
That this Offence is punished with Disinheritance, there's scarce any thing more common; and a Father in this case is very seldom much blamed, or reckoned severe or unjust; for when a Son or Daughter have by their Disobedience broke their Father's Heart, and and have thrown him off as a Person that has nothing to do with them; he has a good and honest Plea to leave them to themselves. Some Fathers indeed are often glad to find such an Excuse when they have a mind to put off their Daughters without Portions, because they are sure that this will certainly vindicate their Proceed to the enquiring World. So that it is most apparent that this is a far greater Crime than most young People take it to be; so that for a man of Ingenuity and Generosity to be guilty of such a fault, to me seems very inconsistent Neither can I well conceive how a man of sense can ever excuse himself from such a prodigious piece of Ingratitude, since that of all other Vices is justly esteemed the basest and meanest, and of such a Nature, that even those Persons who have seemed to make their business and design to act and brag of all other Rogueries, are yet ashamed of that, and are very careful to conceal it, as a thing that can get them no manner of Commendation or Applause, not so much as among their rude Companions.  
But let us now spend a thought or two about the Female Sex. As for those, Nature has seemed to take a more peculiar Care in moulding them and making them more easy and compliant; and of giving them a softer and more flexible Disposition, sinely adapted to Obedience. But to the Male it has afforded a stronger and more governing Nature, and has given them more Power and Command. Therefore Obedience and Compliance in the Female seems more convenient and necessary, as being more suitable and natural. And if all things be rightly considered, they are not to expect to be their own Carvers in all things, nor to have so large a right in choosing as Men Their Friend's Care and Judgement is always rationally looked upon as far more fit and proper for the choice of what will be for their happiness and Well-being, than their own fond Humours, which proceed from an unsettled Fancy. So that their main and principal care in this Life ought to be how to soften those troubles, and how to make that pleasant and easy which falls to their share, if they should chance to meet with a Person and Humours, not altogether so well and agreeable as might have reasonably been wished for.  
The truth of all this will easily appear, and become as clear as the Sun, if we come carefully to consider and reflect upon the Unsteady Nature and Unsatisfied Disposition of Youth, and especially of the Female Sex, whose Reasons are for the most part biased by their Humours, and not strong enough to discern and search into those things which are best for a Settled and Married Life. For their Fancies are almost always carrying them aloft, which makes their Brains giddy, overruling their Reasons, and leading them about through by-Paths and uncertain Places, like an Ignis Fatuus, and at last loses them in a wild desolate Wilderness. It will be much more apparent and visible, if we look upon Examples, which frequently shows us how extremely unfortunate many young Women are in their choice, when it has depended wholly upon themselves. And further, it is very common to find those very Ladies that have been so extremely nice, so wonderfully curious and difficult to please, disdaining and laughing at all that look like the Vulgar, and scorning and despising all that seem mean or common; so that one would think, nothing less could satisfy them than an Angel dropped from the Clouds: Yet (I say) 'tis very usual for these Mock-Criticks at last to throw themselves under the subjection of Whimsical Flutring Fop, or a mere starched and jointed Bartholomew Puppet, whose Stock of Wit and Money is as small as his Impertinence and Impudence is large.  
If we do but observe the generality of the Young Ladies of this our Age▪ who pretend so much to Modishness and the like; we cannot but wonder to find so many Inconsistencies, and to see with what large mixtures of Fickleness, unconstancy, Vanity and Unsettled Fondness they are made up withal. How difficult to please, how critical in foolish trifles, how Extravagant and Finnical in their Attire; how wonderfully delighted with all that's gay and glittering, how strangely ubounding in Discourse, how toyish and freakish in their Actions; having vitiated Palates that can relish nothing that's Grave or Serious, or can endure any thing that's prudent or discreet: We may (I say) when we consider all this, well enough conclude that that Person who courts one of them, and desires to gain her, needs only a gay laced Coat rather than a decent one, to please her nice Fancy; an Impertinent Tongue (like Sir Formal Trifles) overlaid with Fustian and Bombast Words rather than sense, to hold her in discourse; and a Maggotish Noddle well stuffed with Impudence (like Sir Positive at all) to make her believe any thing.  
Upon such sort of Persons as these, common experience shows us that Dancing-Masters and Singing-Masters have chief the greatest influence; the one by the nimble shaking of his Heels, and the other by the cunning quavering of his Voice, so melting and charming the poor Pool, that she's all upon the sighing whining Vein, till she's stark mad to be delivered from her old Father's Clutches. And this is much more likely if Age has not strengthened her Reason, or ripened her Understanding so far as to distinguish between gay things and good things, and to discern the fatal effects of such Baseness: and this brings her to laugh at the kind and wholesome advices of a Father, and to look upon her Friends as all peevish, silly and inconsiderate Persons that deserve not a serious thought to be thrown away upon them. After this indeed Years may harden her in her wickedness, and help her to a large stock of Impudence, but they seldom teach her any Prudence or Discretion, for her ridiculous Follies and stubborn Vices will yet grow stronger with her Age; like gliding Rivers and flowing Streams, still increasing the further they run from the Fountainhead. But the poor self-deceiving Creature seldom looks about her, till the manifest appearance of approaching Ruin from an inhuman cursed Husband opens her Eyes to some purpose, and show her that all the Wit and Experience she have got are the dearest things she ever purchased before now.  
Thus we find many sad Examples of this Nature, of several Young Persons who run rashly and without any sort of Consideration to get themselves married, never minding any thing that belongs to such a Condition, but those vain flattering Pleasures that their deluded hopes present to their distant view through a corrupted and false medium. 'Tis often seen that many a poor Young Girl is tricked and cheated into Matrimony to the great grief of her Parents, and her own lasting Torment; and that too when she has but a small knowledge of the troublesome cares and concerns of this World, and before she well understand what a Husband means, or what and where lies the Conveniencies and Inconveniencies that a Married Life is capable of. And perhaps the Person that did it is some debauched beggarly Rakehell, some base ungenerous Fellow, whose Dunghill Passion will never raise his drowsy Soul above the smell of dirst; and desires nothing but Money, which he so greedily devours and swallows down to his Wife's ruin, and his own Destruction.  
Now the main Source from whence these Passions (on the man's account) do rise, and the chief Spring that moves so many young men's Affections, and hurries away their Reasons from paying the Respects due to their Parents, is Beauty; an Object that always carries something with it so excellent and Charming, as can never be well defined or described. And 'tis this that so many times sets Unsteady Youth all in a raging fire, so violently tossing his tempestuous Soul, and so forcibly carries him on towards his Imaginary Bliss, that the loud cries of Reason can never be heard, but only when it comes with a gentle smile, to favour the cause in hand, and plead for that soft Passion: and this causes them sometimes to be so extravagant as to make Goddesses of Women (Angels at least) and place even Divinity itself in a poor silly Mortal. Then you'll hear nothing from him but Wishing, Complaining, Sighing, Languishing and Despairing; of Charming Pleasures, Gentle Flames, Broken Hearts, Melting Tears, and the like; and all his Discourse shall be about his Mistress, of vindicating her to all the World, of undertaking all desperate Attempts, and Dying for her three or four times a Day. These things though foolish enough, are true, and oft deserve more Pity than Laughter; for Beauty the chief cause of all this, is like a cruel Basilisk that often kills us at distance, and before we know any thing of it.  
The Old Men indeed come bluntly to their Sons, and tell them that Beauty will buy no Beef; (a course Compliment to one up to the Ears in Love) But the Young Men as pertly reply, It will buy Content which is far better; an Answer truly sufficient, and of full force we grant, if it were as true as the other. But this we frequently find so far from procuring any real satisfaction or Content, that it has many times been the primary Cause of the greatest Miseries and Afflictions that can befall a Married Life. And if Prejudice be wholly laid aside, 'twill easily be seen that scarce ever any Marriage has been on both sides happy, that had no other Foundation than what comes from the Charms of outside Beauty; which indeed is far more fit to increase a Man's Appetite, than to settle any true Liking, and will sooner procure Fondness than real Love; the fatal Effects of which is Jealousy, that cursed Bane to all the Pleasures of the Marriagebed, which makes their best Delights a raging Torment, and turns the greatest Blessings into the greatest Plagues. So that to have this without Virtue, is a thing that none but stupid and senseless Persons would endure; For then 'tis like a hot burning Coal whose bright and sparkling looks many may gaze on with admiration enough, but none but Fools and Madmen are willing or daring enough to touch. For who but such a Madman would for the gratifying of his fancy run and throw himself into the devouring Flames? Who for a few transient fits of Joy would part with all the Pleasures of his soft and sweet Repose? Who for the Honour of Embracing a painted Cloud, would forfeit both his Heaven of Content here, and his Heaven of Happiness hereafter, by being always upon the rack of Jealousy, and tormenting Fears, lest his Beautiful Jezebel prove false, and another admire that Fantastical Face which he himself formerly doted on.  
Let us consider Beauty by its self, and quite stripped of all those Ornaments she borrows from the Arts and Tricks of others; for her upper Decorations she gets from common Shop keepers and Tirewomen, her lower ones from Tailors and Brokers, and her sweet ravishing Complexion very often from a little Stuff that comes from a Painter's Pencil, which sometimes dawbs her over like a Sign Post. There uniting all their Force do dress her up as gay as possible, and are as extravagant (if it can be) as our unbounded Fancies. I say, if we seriously reflect on all this, we should not find it so considerable as to make us forget our greatest Blessings our Freedoms to enjoy it; nor yet so permanent as to make us hope for any lasting Pleasures from it. For when 'tis never so natural, a small fit of Siokness oft takes away the superficial part of it, and a few years, Children, and Ill Nature do take away all the rest of the varnished Features. Then the hot fit of Passion soon turns to the cold one of loathing; and all those soft Joys and charming Pleasures, which raging and unruly Desires expected to meet withal, dull Fruition and Experience finds absent, and nothing left but a rotten decayed Vessel, bereft of all that's good, and emptied of all its Delights. So that Young Persons are under a very strange mistake when they think Beauty alone can make any Marriage happy; for this they may be most certain of, that whatsoever Love has no stronger legaments than what proceed from thence (besides the Racks of Doubts and Jealousies which so often attend it) can never last any longer than that will; no more than that Love which is grounded on Money, can outlast the spending of it.  
There are several other things besides Beauty, which makes many a Woman be loved and admired, and oft cause Young Persons to transgress the Duty they own to their Parents; as Good Nature, a fine Carriage, a quick Wit, and a sweet Voice: and all these have each their peculiar Charms, and are admired by many men (and perhaps with justice too) as much as Beauty itself. Yet for all that, when every one of these unite their Power and Forces, and meet together in one Woman (which is certainly as strong and mighty temptation for Youth to encounter withal) they are many times misfortunes (when abstracted from virtue) rather than Advantages, and Plagues rather than Blessings, there being all to be found in many a common Prostitute, and in the very worst of Women. Neither indeed can these procure any manner of satisfaction or real content, when true Love, Virtuous Inclinations, and a Competency are wanting; the two former being absolutely necessary to make firm their Happiness, and keep it so perpetually; and the latter to gain Friends consents, and to crown all their Joys.  
Now what man in his right wits that has the least grain of consideration in him, would ever be so grossly silly and senseless as to marry a Woman (though endowed with all the forementioned Charms) that he knew for certain did not really love him, or had not Virtue or Honour to continue that Love? Certainly he can have no manner of regard to his Quiet and Happiness in this Life, or must be most strangely ignorant of the means and way to it, who shall thus foolishly plunge himself into the midst of an Ocean of Doubts, which will be a devouring Torment and a perpetual Rack to his Mind, if he has any thing of Life or Soul in him. Yet he that marries a Person without his Parents consent, (the want of an Estate being supposed to hinder their consent) though perhaps he is not absolutely certain his Mistress don't love him, yet he can never be certain she does, or that she don't love his Money far better than himself, which if he knows he's doubly mad to marry her. For when all such Person first set their hearts upon that (as it is most frequent in this case) they mind little else but those ill Properties and ridiculous vanities, that all mean Persons so much seek after; and what is more usual than to have Mercenary Spirits soon lose all sense of Generosity or Gratitude?  
Some Persons are of Opinion, that if they marry with them of Inferior Rank, they can manage them as they please; and do verily believe that gratitude will always be a sufficient Obligation to bind them to all Affection, Love, Respect and Obedience; and by this means they propose to themselves strange and wonderful things, and their contrivances the best ordered, and the most ingeniously invented that can be for their quiet and content. But such a Person ought to be put among the Cautious Sir Solomon's Projectors, and be sure to meet with no better luck than he; for this is a vain and foolish supposition, fit for only the unthinking part of the World, and contradicting all common Experience. For that constantly shows us that he that takes his Maid for his Consort, finds her no less Proud and Imperious, than he that marries with one of the Highest Rank; nay very oftentimes more; for all Base Bron Inferior Persons (though naturally of a Disposition good enough) are strangely changed and altered by such Honours, as being so much above their Companions; which makes them have a vast conceit of their own Worth and Merits, their Pride and Insolency increasing to that degree as they become altogether insupportable; while better Educations are far more noble and generous, being apt to own Obligations.  
Not to insist too long upon this Head, nor to be too tedious on this Subject; in short, all Young Persons whatsoever may observe and take this for a most certain and undeniable Truth, that they neither have nor can have a power of disposing of themselves as they please, as long as their Parents or Friends entrusted by them are alive, and they have any manner of dependence upon them; and let their Inclinations and Desires be how they will, they cannot enter into such a solemn and sacred Institution as Matrimony of their own accord without their Parent's consent; they being so far part of their Goods (and the clearest and most valuable too) that to give themselves away unknown to them, is a kind of Robbery or Theft, or perhaps something worse. This is a Crime which they can never answer to God or Good Men; for a Marriage is not real or truly complete according to God's Laws, till Parents by their consent make firm the Contract. And this is the common Opinion of the chief of our Divines, as far as I can understand.  
But some perhaps whose ungoverned Passions have wholly led them away, will pretend that the soft Allurements, and sweet Temptations of Beauty, Good Nature, Wit and the like, have been so very strong and powerful, that they have not been able in any manner to resist them. I will not examine how Humane Nature may reasonably be supposed to have power of encountering there; but however this Pretence will never serve, since the venturing to stand the brunt and force of them, and of favouring of Opportunities, is one of their Principal Faults. For those above all things, are ever to be most carefully and cunningly avoided; and shunned as the most dangerous Infections; and like a full nest of enraged Hornets, disturbed by some unwary Traveller, more to be fled from than fought withal. Besides temptation is a poor pretence that every common Prostitute makes use of to extenuate and excuse her filthy Lusts, and every Perjured Villain to uphold his Rogueries; and if this would hold good, the greatest Wickedness in the World might go unregarded, and Crimes of the highest and blackest nature go still unpunished.  
Therefore let Children consider and dread the Unhappy Consequences of all such Matches, as their own Rashness and most Unruly Desires leads them to; whose beginnings are commonly with the violent and hot flames of Love, and do soon turn to the sad and cold fits of Loathing. By this means it is common for a Man to have a tormenting Wife that plagues and hates him, stubborn and rebellious Children that despise and scorn him, an Estate quite shattered and wasted, his Unhappy Self upon the very brink of certain Ruin, not knowing how to avoid or escape it, and all the time perhaps the hatred and anger of his unreconciled Parents; which last will always be as a devouring and gnawing Worm, and a clog of some weight to his distracted Soul. For Disobedience (the Fatal cause of their troubles) is an aspersion so very vile and ugly, that nothing but Time and Repentance can wipe off in this World. And therefore once more let me earnestly desire and advise all Young Persons whatsoever to have a more than ordinary care of such things, and that their Stubborness and Disobedience do not pull down God's just vengeance, and their Parents curses upon their Head.   

CHAP. IU. Against Persons Marrying without their own Consent.  
Parent's I do not doubt but will be well enough pleased with most of the Passages of the former Chapter, since that speaks so much in behalf of their Prerogative, and against children's Disobedience; but I am afraid they'll scarce relish this following Chapter, nor well digest a business which touches them so nearly; for this treats of the last sort of Unequal Marriages, in which they themselves are the principal Actors and are most guilty, namely of marrying their Children without their Consents, or against their Wills. We may observe that every Person is very angry and uneasy when he comes to see his own vile Practices and Vices laid open to the censuring World; but above all, Old Persons take it most grievously, because their high conceit of their own Experience leads them to believe themselves beyond doing of Injuries, or at least of deserving to be censured.  
I am now arrived and just entering upon a most sad and Melancholy Subject, and I cannot but bestow a few serious reflections and some mournful thoughts upon it; a Subject that many are apt to start at, and cannot endure so much as to hear it once mentioned, having experimentally found the sad and fatal Effects of it, either in themselves or their Relations. And this is a Curse that mean and Inferior Persons are seldom or never liable to, and are but very rarely troubled with the Misfotunes that so commonly attend it. But this very frequently accompanies the Gaudy Pomps and Airy Noise of Magnificence, Grandeur and Riches, still aiming and striking at great and lofty Places, whilst little ones commonly escape free; like the ordinary and common Diseases which proceed from Luxury, being starved at Cottages do always shun them, and inhabit Courts and Palaces. So that this is a thing that lights more upon the heads of Great Persons Children than others, and that too upon the Female Sex more commonly than the Male.  
As for the greatness of this Injury, there's nothing more apparent; being such, that all the pains and cares that a Parent is able to take or perform for a Child in this sad case, can never make amends, or give any reasonable satisfaction, the Misfortune being often so large and complete, that it is beyond the Power of Man to relieve, or give ease to: Tho a Married Life is very often found to be the happiest and most comfortable of all others; yet when it comes to begin thus dismally, it mostly proves the worst of all conditions whatsoever, and is very often one of the greatest Plagues that can well befall a Man, making their conditions more sad and miserable than the poorest Wretches who beg bread from door to door: and this may be confirmed sufficiently by too many lamentable and deplorable Examples of this kind. So that a Wise and Thinking Man (especially if he comes to consider the great sins that constantly attend it) would sooner choose the basest and meanest Employments, and most contemptible of all callings, than endure those restless Tortures, that so necessarily belong to all such Unfortunate Matches.  
For a Parent to bring up his Child with all the kindness, tenderness and care imaginable; to be always ready to instruct him in every good and virtuous Exercise; to be most exact in teaching him all the excellent and noble Accomplishments which his Condition, Estate and Quality so much deserve; to suffer him in, and to procure him all the moderate and Innocent Pleasures and Recreations that may be had; and to indulge him and love him as his own Soul, is a thing though frequently yet very commendable, and is something that will bind a generous Disposition far stronger than the Obligations that proceed from Power, Fear and constrained Obedience. But then for such a Parent by his over violent zeal, and too eager desire after his Son's Happiness, by an unlucky blow to ruin him at once beyond all relief, is a thing most strange, unaccountable and prodigious. I am extremely sorry that I can truly say, 'tis a thing that has been often done and practised; and that too by such Parents, whose good Reputations, Gravity, Prudence and Ingenuity, would have spoke far better things for them, and (one would have thought) might have taught them more Virtue, Piety and Honesty, or at least more Wit and Discretion, than out of a foolish Humour, scarce worthy of such a care, to embitter their children's Happiness, and entail Misery upon their Famelies for succeeding Ages.  
When I come to consider the strange cares and troubles that Parents have for their children's sake, 'tis then, and only then, that I am ready to think almost all Marriages unhappy and unfortunate: but on the other side when I look upon the sweet comforts and pleasant satisfaction they receive from their good behaviour, and their hopes they feed themselves withal of their proving well, when they see nothing to the contrary; I find those are Engines strong and powerful enough to hold them up, and to keep them from sinking under a load of cares and concerns. Parent's Lives are often like those of Poets and Gamesters, who can very rarely arrive to the pleasure of being cool and at rest; their busy Souls and overwhelmed Desires are continually in flame, which never suffers them to have a calm and even temper, but makes them always either in Raptures or Dispair, according as their good or bad Fortune requires it. 'Tis their overdoing of things which commonly ruins their Designs, and breaks all their measures; their excess of Love makes their Children bold, impudent and saucy; their overmuch Care and desire for them, makes them idle, careless and undutiful; the Jealousy makes them mistrustful, disdainful and to hate and slight their Commands; and their Rigidness cramps and destroys all their generous thoughts, and corrupts the Morals. Yet they think many times they can mould them as they please, and incline their minds as they think fit; and because they suppose their Children do not know what is good for themselves, their threats must drive them to it, which destroys the very essence and nature of Good of Marriage; and when they have once got them coupled to an Estate and a few Titles, they think they have done all; though perhaps they have undone all, and ruined them to all intents and purposes.  
That no man might think that I have said any thing out of Ill Will or Prejudice, I do freely and sincerely declare, that I have so good an Opinion of all Parents, and particularly of these sorts I am treating of, that I cannot so much as suppose any of them to desire, or hearty wish their Children the least Hurt or Injury, much less their lasting Misery or Ruin; (though we find several upon the account of Faults and Disobedience, to have put extraordinary ill things upon their Children, and such as they themselves must needs know to be hard and cruel) But when I go about to acquit them of this Vice, I must of necessity accuse them of an insufferable piece of Folly (besides a horrible Sin which I shall mention to them by and by) when they think to make that Match happy which gins with hatred and loathing; and this is a ridiculous thing which men of their Age and Experience can never be supposed to be ignorant of. They may as well hope to see the Poles of the Heavens meet, or make Fire and Water agree, as the Loves, Inclinations and Affections of some Persons. Young People's Humours and Passions are very often strange and ungovernable, and such as are impossible to unite; and Fathers are not to imagine that their Children are like Trees, in which they can graft different Humours and Inclinations, as well as different Fruits.  
But some Parents, who beginning to perceive and reflect upon the miserable and deplorable Effects of the hard and severe Usage, their Pity flowing in apace, do still flatter themselves with the hopes that time should ease them, and help to set all to rights again. And this is the common and threadbare Pretence that all Parents make use of to excuse their Severity and Injustice; for, say they, though the Wound be wide and troublesome, yet the Cure is not very hard; time and balmy Blood, with a little care, will make all well again. But sad Experience confutes this, and shows it to be altogether false and frivolous; for we constantly find that length of times and days do very rarely produce any sort of cure for this Distemper (as it has been often hoped for) but for the most part rather increasing the Torment; for these Wounds are like the breaches of Ships and Vessels which time only makes wider, but can never stop up; which as the frequent and common Diseases of Old Age and Years, growing worse and worse, till kind Death comes and puts an end to all. Only sometimes we happen of an Ingenious Pious Person, who has got the Stoical knack of slighting all troubles and caring for nothing, and to ease himself in this case will be sure to cause his Wife's Money to jingle, make havoc on her Cash, and the Yellow Boys fly merrily about like dirt, in his Cups once ran home to bestow three or four or half a dozen genteel curses upon his kind hearted Parents by way of thanks; and briskly and finely pass away his time among the honourable Society of Chimney Sweeper's and Porter's.  
As for Emperors, Kings and such kind of Persons as those, I shall not dare to presume to meddle withal, or concern myself in this case; nor will I venture to determine any thing in the Mysterious Matters of State: But to all others I must take the boldness to tell them that this is a very heinous Offence, and piece of Wickedness, that can never be let pass unregarded. They indeed may make the Minister join their hands, but the Marriage can never be complete or lawful till their hearts be joined too; this being a most perfect violation of their Native Freedom, and to be forced this way is the worst and most miserable of all slaveries. Neither can these Parents any ways acquit themselves of making their Children guilty of two mortal and most abominable Sins, namely Perjury and Treachery, and those of the basest and blackest Die too. For let any man seriously consider and see if they can find or imagine a greater and grosser Perjury, than to make the most sacred and most solemn Vow that can be thought of, in the awful presence of God and the whole Congregation, to a thing that is absolutely false? Or indeed how can there be a base piece of Treachery, than to make such a solemn Vow, when they neither can or will keep it; and in a concern upon which so nearly depends all that's good and happy in this world.  
For my part, when I come to consider the greatness of these Crimes, I can but tremble, and am amazed at the very thoughts of such Mons; trous Impieties as these; and can but strangely wonder how either Parents or Children dare so much as appear in such a horrid Business, and are not afraid of the Divine Vengeance in the very Act. For certain Experience shows us, that things done with so much Precaution, Consideration and Solemnity, always strike a most sad and deep terror in men's hearts, more than sins commonly practised, though never so great and heinous. This most sacred Order of Matrimony is not to be played withal, passed slightly over, or made a common property for Private Interest, but there ought to be a wonderful deal of Caution and Care in it. And when a Match gins with two such shameful Crimes as these; 'tis no wonder at all if the Almighty sends his Plagues upon their heads, punishing Parents in beholding their children's Miseries, and Children in feeling the deadly effects of their own Perjuries: nor is it strange if the Devil be suffered to sow his cursed Dissensions among them, and keeping them at such a vast distance that nothing can reasonably be expected but Despair and Desolation.  
Now a main and Principal Cause of all these troubles and disturbances, and that makes Old Men so raging mad and desperately hot, is Money; a thing which always commanded, ruled and governed the more degenerate and base part of the World as it pleased, bringing them wholly and entirely to its own Devotion, and making them hazard all Troubles and Dangers, Honours and Reputations, and their very Bodies and Souls; and all in hopes of obtaining Favours from, and enjoying that Bright Beauty. This 'tis that casts such a deadly mist, and blinds Parents Eyes, perverts their Reasons, and corrupts their Understandings so much, that all Great and Generous Thoughts, all Glorious and Noble Designs are clogged, pulled down and destroyed; so that by this means they become so sordid and dull, as they cannot distinguish between the best and worst things. 'Tis for this that many a Father toils and torments himself, racks and disturbs his Plotting Brains, for a stubborn ungracious Son, who won't so much as bestow upon him the ordinary Compliment of Thanks, but will spend and and make it fly faster than ever they got it. This is so sweet and pleasant, that the most ridged Quaker, and most presise Puritan, who will scarce permit or endure the most common and innocent Recreations, yet they shall finely recreate and solace themselves with this, and hug themselves over their full Bags, whilst Beggars may starve in the streets for all any of them.  
Parents do strangely please themselves with these hopes, and are continually endeavouring to imprint their infectious Notions into their Children when they are young, telling them what strange things they may expect from a good Fortune, so that they may make it their chief Business to obtain it; for they themselves believe there is no Happiness equal to a large Estate, nor no pleasure like the sight of a huge heap of Guinea's; so that if they can but obtain this for their Children, they think their own and their Happiness is perfectly complete. But this a vain and ridiculous conceit, which whole Multitudes please themselves withal; for Riches, if we consider the many slavish cares and troubles that so constantly attend them, are far short of that value that their gay and glittering appearance makes them seem to be. And in truth they are but Baubles and mere Trash at best if compared with a clear Unspotted Reputation, and a true Contented Soul; neither will all the Gold in Peru purchase one Moment of real Satisfaction to an unsatisfied and disturbed Mind; but will rather serve as a heavy Clog to his dejected Spirits, to plunge him the deeper into a Sea of Sorrows.  
Covetousness is a very strange and inconsistent thing, and (as a very Ingenious Gentleman observes) seems not so much a Vice as a deplorable piece of Madness; so that I can reckon it nothing but a tormenting Disease and plague which is peculiar to some sort of Constitutions; and is more Contagious and Epidemical in Old Persons than the Gout, Stone, or Palsy, and very often a far greater Torment than any of them. In the spending Money, I grant there may be several sorts of Pleasures; but in the hoarding of it up, and keeping it under Lock and Key, (and very often for they know not whom) and making no use on't at all; for the pleasure of that, I own it goes beyond my conceptions to imagine, unless it be in weighing and telling of it, and then I reckon that picking of Straws and catching of Flies are far more noble and innocent Recreations. This however has been always observed, that all such Persons who desire and love it most of all, and hug and grasp it closest, do constantly make the least use of it, and find smallest comfort and satisfaction by it. As for the Pleasures and Joys that belong to much Riches, they are always more imaginary than real, and the Ease that so many expect in the enjoyment of Money is commonly found to be the most false and Chimerical of all things. And he that eagerly pursues and thirsts after abundance of Money, only with that expectation of living a Quiet and Undisturbed Life, is as ridiculously silly as he that hide himself in the Water cunningly to avoid a shower of Rain.  
For my part whensoever I carefully reflect upon the many sad Disquiets, Noises, Envys and Gensures that so constantly attend Grandeur and Riches; I can but admire that they should be so hotly sought after; and also can but hearty pity the sad and mournful conditions of many excellent Young Ladies, who only for the sake of their Quality, Greatness and Fortunes, are forced and driven by the dreadful fears of threatening Ruin, to do that which is directly contrary to their Natures, and which their Souls most abhor; and that too by base Uncles and mercenary Guardians (oftentimes the worst of all People) as well as Parents themselves. On the other side I can but almost envy the quiet and most happy state of many Inferior Persons, whose Qualities and Fortunes are so small, as never to prove dangerous to their Ease, or be made a trap to their Ruins; and can bless themselves with the sweet satisfaction of Liberty, and with perfect Freedom of Choice, being truly happy in each others Loves and Affections, not teased and troubled with those base and contagious Noise of Sueing for Portions, Tenants Complaints, Creditor-Duns, Neighbours Quarrels, etc. nor plagued with the naucious Impertinence of a whole Covey of griping Lawyers and merciless Atornys, and a House full of Writings at every Match.  
There is one most ridiculous piece of Folly that I have often observed in several Parents, which apparently shows that Money has turned and made their Brains so muddy, that they are not right, that is, they will never consider of, nor suffer any thing, though never so estimable and valuable to stand in competition with Money, no not so much as to make the Scale even. So that by this means none of those noble Acquisitions, and excellent Accomplishments as Learning, Education, Nobility, Ingenuity Virtue, Good Nature, and the like, shall ever be esteemed of or thought of any value; whilst their Grand Idol Money, like a most Sovereign and Absolute Monarch shall rule the World, and ride Great Lord of the Universe; the mean time these shall crouch beneath its Feet, and be content to go in Rags. This is a piece of Folly that one would think People of their Discretion, Experience and Prudence should above all men not be guilty of, being of that Age, as can never be supposed not to know the real value of these forementioned things. For my part I think 'twas most generously and nobly done of the Old Merchant that granted his Daughter to that Ingenious Gentleman who valued his Education at fifty thousand Pounds, and his Barresters' Gown at as much more.  
Notwithstanding all that have or could be said by others in the exposing this most manifest piece of Ignorance and unthinking Prejudice; yet still we see Parents run on in their old perverse ways, without either Fear, Wit or Honesty, so that neither Sense or Reason can no more be driven into their Heads than into a Mill Post; but still reckoning and judging all their children's Happiness by the rule of their own corrupted and biased thoughts, and their depraved and (sometimes) doting Dispositions; and so impertinently cautious it seems some are, that after their Deaths, the consent of no less than six or seven must be had for the Marriage of a Daughter. Some we find so inconsiderate and rash, that they shall willingly choose for a Son in-Law the most Dull, Illiterate Blockhead, the most Sordid Senseless Sot, the most Ill Natured Deformed Fellow, and the most Horrid Wicked Wretch that can be, for the sake of his Money; when at the same time an Ingenious, Virtuous, and most Accomplished Gentleman shall be cast off, and not looked upon, and for nothing else but that poor and pitiful Reason, that his Estate was but half so large as the others. Now let any Person of Common Sense but consider and judge if these be not pitiful Inconsistent Follies, beneath any Man that has any manner of Pretences to common Prudence, Piety or Honesty.  
There is another Humour I have observed in some Parents, which has the strongest tincture of Baseness and Partiality, that is, they shall use their utmost Power, and be strangely careful to put off a Daughter to any Pitiful Fellow that has but an Estate bigger in Proportion than what she's like to have, though it be never so much contrary to his Parent's consent; and then at last perhaps find some foolish quibble and ridiculous pretence to fob her off with a few gay Promises, and give her nothing at all, especially whilst he is alive. It would certainly make a very pleasant Farce but to take notice of and observe the many grave Instructions, cunning Ways and sly Tricks, such a Parent makes use of to obtain his ends; how wonderfully careful and exact he is in teaching his Daughter her Lesson, how extraordinary civil he is to the young raw Gallant, and how large and weighty are his Promises, till he once perceives the Gudgeon well hooked; then but to see how slily the Old Fox gives them the slip, leaves them both in the lurch, and marches off as gravely with an idle Flame to his Father as if he knew nothing at all of the Business.  
Yet such a Fellow as this will never endure to hear of a Son to marry one a little below his Fortune, though never so deserving a Woman, but will be always telling him what a vast happiness 'twill be for himself, and what a wonderful comfort 'twill be to his Old Father, to see him marry a mighty rich Wife. Ah Tom! (says he) a Fortune Tom! thou look'st like a good honest Boy; I tell thee there's nothing like a good Fortwe at last Tom▪ Thy Mother was a Fortune Tom, else Old Jack must have knocked under board, and shrunk in his head, and been content with making a less Figure in the World. Ay but (says Tom again) you won't allow me any good clothes, nor scarce a Shilling in my Pocket, and how shall I go to work to get a Fortune? Ah Tom (cries the Old Miser) times are very hard, and Money is strangely scarce; you should learn to be a good Husband Tom; I save it all for thee Boy. But however since I have one in my Eye for thee, thou shalt wont for nothing if thou dost but get her? Ah brave Tom Boy! right Father's noun Boy; shan't we cheat the Old Fool her Father, Ha Boy? Upon this perhaps Tom gets new clothes, and he and his old Father fall to work upon some young Creature much above his Fortune, and perhaps gets her and marrys her to the great Grief of all her Relations. But if Matters should chance to come to the Pinch, and to the utmost Extremities that may possibly be in this case; Old Jack will be sure to find a trick to slip his own Neck out of the Noose, and leave poor Tom fairly to hang for't.  
Now are not these and the like things very gross pieces of partiality and injustice? Yet We frequently find those very Parents who are so very hot and violent in exclaiming against the Impiety and Ingratitude of Children that marry without their Parent's consent; those Persons we often find to be most ready to transgress it themselves in the Persons of others (and that on the basest manner too) when they perceive it is for the advantage of the Family. And all their rail and bitter exclaiming against this Vice, is only a right down Forgery and Cheat, a pure piece of Hypocrisy to scare their own Children, and fright them into Obedience. This is the Nature and Disposition of a great many Parents (though not all on such gross a manner) and (that which is more strange too) even of such as have very Prudent, Grave, Discreet, Ingenious Gentlemen; and such too as have had all the appearances of Generous and Religious Persons. But how much these things can agree with, or be any ways consistant with such Mean, Sordid, Base and Ignoble Actions, I shall leave to the Candour and Judgement of any Impartial and Unprejudiced Man whatsoever.  
I shall conclude all with a few words of Friendly Advice. First for Old Persons who are on the other side Sixty, I would advise them not to marry at all, but rather employ themselves on the thoughts of the other World (for they know they can have but a short time to stay in this) and in instructing and doing good to others; and this will be the only sure way to get true Honour and satisfaction. But if they must trouble themselves with the thoughts of Matrimony (which upon some accounts may be reasonable enough too) let them pitch upon some Grave and Pious Matron, suitable to their Years and Fortunes, by which means they may prove mutual Helps and great Comforts to each other, and not set their minds upon young Wild Creatures, who will be to hard for them every way, cause them to be made common Laughingstocks to the enquiring World, plague and disturb all their Quiet and Ease, and help to send them to their Graves long before their times.  
Next for Children, since they have not a Power of disposing of themselves as they think fit; and since such sad and deplorable Effects do often follow from their making use of such a Power, let them not dare to venture upon this Sacred Order of Matrimony without their Parent's consent; but let them have a strict and more than ordinary care to avoid all Temptations till they have leave, as they would a most deadly Precipice. But for the Young Persons that have a larger power of disposing of themselves, 'twill be the highest piece of Folly to marry one that is much beneath them (except there be some extraordinary Excellencies besides Beauty) for he can never be sure of her Love, the very Life and Soul of all their Hopes and Comports. Neither would I have any Persons aim at those that are much above their Rank (a Paradox indeen to a great many People) for then the mind is often so horridly corrupted with base and ungenerous Desires, that the danger and ill consequences are much the other way.  
Lastly, For Parents and the like, let them seriously consider the great Account they must give at the last day for many of their children's Failings, especially those woeful Misfortunes they have brought upon them by their own means, and with the heinous sins of Perjury and Treachery; therefore let them dread the very thoughts of all such Unhappy Matches. For this reason let them not be extraordinary ambitious of marrying their Children above their Fortunes, but however they ought to take care to have them married in time, lest they prove Dishonest, Stubborn and Irreclaimable. On the other side, let them not disdain to marry them below their Rank, nor stand too much upon Smithfield Bargains when they have a Competency themselves, and they find a Sober, Virtuous Person, whose Education, Ingenuity and other good Properties will make amends for Money and all other inconsiderable Trifles.  
Before I quite conclude all, I must advise every Person whatsoever, let 'em be Young or Old, Parents or Children, to have a peculiar care of Marrying to any of different Religions; for notwithstanding there be Content on all sides, Love, Money, Good Inclinations, etc. this one thing is enough to ruin all, destroy all their Pleasures, and may make it the dearest piece of Folly to 'em they ever were guilty of in their Lives.  
FINIS.   

Books newly Printed for, and sold by Tho. Salusbury at the King's Arms next St. Dunstan's Church in Fleetsteer. The five first were written by Mr. Law. Eachard, A B. of Christ's College in Cambridge.  
THE Gazetteers, or Newsman's Interpreter: Being a Geographical Index of all the Considerable Cities, Patriarchships, Bishoprics, Universities, Dukedoms, Earldoms, and such like; Imperial and Hance Towns Ports, Forts, Castles, etc. in Europe. Showing in what Kingdoms, Provinces, and Countries they are in; to what Prince they are now subject; upon, or nigh what Rivers, Bays, Seas, Mountains, etc. they stand; their Distances (in English miles) from several other Places of Note, with their Longitude and Latitude, according to the best and approved MAPS. Of special use for the true understanding of all Modern Histories of EUROPE, as well as the Present Affairs; and for the Conveniency of Cheapness and Pocket-Carriage, Explained by Abreviations and Figures. Price bound 2 s.  
A most Complete Compendium of Geography, General and Special, describing all the Empires, Kingdoms and Dominions in the whole World; showing their Bounds, Situation, Dimensions, Ancient and Modern Names, History, Government, Religions, Languages, Commodities, Divisions, Subdivisions, Cities, Rivers, Mountains, Lakes, with their Archbishoprics, Bishoprics, and Universities: In a more plain and easy method, more Compendious and Useful than any of the lesser Sort. Together with an Appendix of General Rules for making a large Geography, with the great Uses of that Science, very necessary for the right understanding of the Transactions of these Times; Collected according to the latest Discoveries, and agreeing with the Choicest and Newest Maps. The Second Edition Corrected, much Improved, and Enlarged above one quarter: By Laurence Eachard, A. B. of Christs-College in Cambridge. Price 1s. 6 d.  
2. A New and Exact Description of Ireland, Chronographically surveying all its Provinces and Countries, showing the exact State of that Kingdom, and all the principal things that are necessary to be known, with five Maps relating thereto, being very necessary for the right understanding the present Affairs of that Kingdom. Price 1 s. 6 d.  
3. Flanders, or the Spanish Netherlands, most accurately described, showing their several Provinces, their Bounds, Dominions, Cities, Towns, etc. Rivers, Riches, Strength, Traffic, Religion, Language, Archbishoprics, Bishoprics, Vnoversities, etc. extraordinary necessary for the right understanding of these parts, and present Wars and Encampments of the Confederate and French Armies. Price bound 1 s.  
4. The Duke of Savoy's Dominions most accurately described, with some adjacent Parts; showing the exact State of those Countries, and all the principal things that are necessary to be known. In a large Broadside, Price 3d.  
5. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 A Law-Dixionary, interpreting such difficult and obscure Words and Terms, as are found either in our Common or Statute, Ancient or Modern Laws: With References to the several Statutes, Records, Registers, Law-Books, Charters, Ancient Deeds, and Manuscripts, wherein the Words are used; and Etymologies where they properly occur. The Second Edition, with some Corrections, and the Addition of above six hundred Words, By T. Blunt, late of the Inner-Temple, Esq Price 10 s.  
6. Jacob Behmen's Theosopick Philosophy unfolded in divers Considerations and Demonstrations, showing the Verity and Utility of the several Doctrines or Propositions contained in the Writings of that Divinely Instructed Author; as also the Principal Treatises of the said Author, Abridged, etc. By E. Taylor. Price 6 s.  
7. Chymichus Rationalis, or the Fundamental Grounds of the Chemical Art, rationally stated and demonstrated by various Examples in Distillation, Rectification, and Exaltation of Wines, Spirits, Tinctures, Oils, Salts, Powders, and Oleosums, in such a Method as to retain the Specific Virtues of Conorets in the greatest power and force. By W. Iworth, Spagyric Physician and Philosopher by Fire. Price bound 1 s.  
8. A Treatise of Civil Bonds and Contracts, and the Nature, Causes and Effects of Suretiships, with Cautions against it, By R. A. Gent. Price bound 1 s. 6 d.  
9 A New Art of making above twenty sorts of Wines, Brandy, and other Spirits, more pleasant and agreeable to the English Constitutions, than those of France; compliant to the late Act of Parliament, and illustrated by the Doctrine of Fermentation and Distillation, by various Examples on the Growth and Product of this Island. By W. Y. Medicinal Professor. Twelves, Price bound 1 s. 6 d,  
10. A New Art of Brewing Beer, Ale, and other sorts of Liquors, so as to render them more healthful to the Body, and agreeable to Nature, and to keep them longer from souring, with less Trouble and Charge than generally practised. To which is added the Art of making Malt. The Third Edition. By Th. Tryon, Student in Pysick. Twelves, Price bound 1 s.  
11. Wisdom Dictates, or Rules Physical and Moral, for preserving the the Health of the Body, and the Peace of the Mind: Fit to be regarded and practised by all that would enjoy the Blessing of this World. To which is added a Bill of Fare of 75 noble Dishes of excellent Food, without either Fish or Flesh▪ By Tho. Tryon, Student in Physic. Twelves, Price bound 1 s.  
Pythagoras' Mystic Philosophy revived, or the Mystery of Dreams and Visions unfolded, wherein the Causes, Natures, and Uses of Nocturnal Representations, and the Communications both of good and evil Angels, and also departed Souls to Mankind, are Theologically unfolded. By Tho. Tryon, Student in Physic. Price bound 1 s. 6 d. All sold by Tho. Salusbury at the King's-Arms in Fleetstreet.  
FINIS.