The Banishment of Poverty  by J. D. of Albany: 
To the Tune of the Last Good Night.  

POx fa that pultran Poverty,  
Wae worth the time that I him saw  
Since first he laid his Fang on me  
Myself from him I dow ne'er draw:  
his wink to me has been a Law,  
He haunts me like a penny dog,  
Of him I stand far greater awe  
Than Pupil does of Pedagogue.  
The first time that he met with me,  
Was at a Clachan in the West,  
Its name I trow Kilbarchan be;  
Where Habies Drons gave many a blast.  
There we shook hands, called be his cast,  
An ill dead may that Custron die,  
For there he gripped me right fast  
When first I fell in Cautonrie.  
But yet in hopes to be relieved,  
And freed from that foul Ladlie Lown,  
Fernzier when Whigs were ill mischived  
And forced to fling their Weapons down  
When we chased them from Glasgow Town,  
I with that Swinger thought to grapple,  
But when Indemnity came down,  
The Laydron caught me by the Thraple.  
But yet in hopes of more relief.  
A race I made to Arinfrew.  
Where they did bravely buff my Beef,  
And made my Body Black and Blue.  
At Justice Court I them pursued,  
Expecting help for their Reproof,  
Indemnity thought nothing due,  
The Devil a farthing for my Loof.  
But within that I might ride East,  
To troth on Foot I soon w●●ld tire,  
My Page allowed me not a Beast,  
I wanted Gilt to pay the Hire:  
He and I lap o'er many a Sire,  
I heuked him at Dalder cult.  
But long ere I came to Clypes-myre  
The ragged Rogue caught me a while.  
By Holland Bush and Bridge of Bonny  
We bickered down towards Bankier,  
We feared u●… Revers for our Money,  
Nor whirly whaes to grip our Gear.  
My tattered Tutor took no Fear,  
(Though he did travel in the Murky)  
But thought it fit when he drew near  
To filsh a Forage at Palkisk.  
No man would open me the Door,  
Because my Comrade stood by,  
They dread full ill I was right poor  
By my forsaken Company.  
But Cunninghame soon me espied,  
By how and hair he hailed me in.  
And swore we should not part so dry,  
Though I were stripped to the Skin.  
I baid all night but long ere day,  
My cursed companion bade me rise,  
I start up soon and took the way,  
He needed not to bid me twice.  
But what to do I did advise,  
In Lithg●w I might not sit down,  
On a Scots G●●at we ba●●ed thrice;  
And in at night to Edinburgh Town.  
We held the Long gate to Leith Wind,  
Where poorest Purses use to be,  
And in the Caitoun lodged sign,  
Fit Quarters for such Company.  
Yet I the High-Town tain would see,  
But that my Comrad did me discharge,  
He would me Bla●i●●…ns to p●●e,  
And 〈…〉 t my Lea●●… 〈◊〉 was right large,  
The morn I ventured up the Wind,  
And sl●●g'd in at the Neather-Bow,  
Thinking that 〈◊〉 for to tyne,  
Who do●● me Damnage what he dow:  
His company he doth bestow  
On me to my great grief and Pain,  
Ere I the Throng could wrestle throw  
The Lown was at my Heels again.  
I greened to gang on the Plain-stanes,  
To see if Comrade: would me ken,  
We twa ga ●n pacing there our laines  
The hungry Hour betwixt twelve and One,  
Then I knew no way how to ●en,  
My Guts rumled like a Hur●e-borrow,  
I dined with Saints and Noble Men,  
Even sweet St. Giels and Earl of Murray;  
Tykes Testment take them for their Treat▪  
For I needed not my Teeth to pick,  
Though I was in a cruel Sweat,  
He set not by ●ay what I like.  
I called him Turk and traked Tike,  
And wearied him with many a Curse,  
My Banes were hard like a Stane-Dyke  
No Rig Maria was in my Purse:  
Kind Widow Caddel sent for me  
To dine, as she did oft forsooth,  
But oh alas that might not be!  
For her House was too near the Tolbooth;  
Yet God reward her for her Love,  
And kindness which I feckful found,  
Most ready still for my behoof  
●re that Hell's Hound took her in Hand.  
I slipped my Page and stoured to Leith  
To try my Credit at the Wine  
But foul a drible filled my Teeth,  
He catched me at the Coffee Sign  
I flaw down through the Neather-Wynd.  
My Lady Semples House was near,  
To enter there was my design  
Where Poverty durst ne'er appear.  
I dined there, but I b●id not long,  
My Lady fain would shelter me,  
But oh alas! I needs must gang  
And leave that comely Company.  
Her Lad convoyed me with her Key  
Out through the Garden to the Fields;  
●re I the Links could graithly see  
My Governor was at my Heels.  
I dow not dance to Pipe nor Harp  
I had no stock for Cards nor Dice,  
But I ●ure to Sir William Sharp  
Who never made his counsel nice.  
That little man he is right wise  
And sharp as any Brier can be;  
He bravely gave me his advice  
How I might Poison Poverty.  
Quoth he there grows hard by the Dial  
In Hattons' Garden bright and sheen  
a sovereign Herb, called Penny Royal  
Which all the year grows fresh and green.  
Can you but gather It fair and clean.  
Your Business would not go backward,  
But let account of it be seen  
To the Physicians of Exchequer.  
Or if their Ticket ye bring with you  
Come unto me, ye need not fear  
For I some of that Herb can give you  
Which I have planted this same Year.  
It will cause your Page disappear  
Who wait, on you against your will,  
To gather it I shall you lear  
In my own Yards of Stony-hill,  
But when I dread that would not work  
I over thought me of a Wile  
How I might at my leisure lurk  
My Graceless Guardian to beguile.  
'Tis but my galloping a Mile  
Through Cannongate with little los●,  
Till I have Sanctuary a while  
Within the Girth of Abby-Closs.  
There I won in and blithe was I  
When to the Inner-Court I drew,  
My Governor I did defy,  
For joy I clapped my Wings and crew.  
There Messengers dare not pursue,  
Nor with their Wands mens Shoulders steer  
There dwells distressed Lairds anew  
In peace though they have little Gear;  
I had not tarried an Hour or two,  
when my best Fortune was to see  
A sight sure by the mights of Mary  
Of that brave Duke of Albany.  
Where one blink of his Princely Eye,  
Put that foul Foundering to the flight,  
Frae me he banished Poverty  
And made him take his last Good-night.   
FINIS