Vercingetorixa: OR, The GERMAN PRINCESS Reduced to An English Habit.  
By F. B. Gent.  

Why Vercingetorix we give  
Unto this Book for Name,  
Know, Germane Princess doth derive  
As By-blow from the same.   
LONDON: Printed in the Year MDCLXIII.   

To his good Friend Mr. F. B. Upon his German Princess.  
IN Stories new, and Stories old,  
Many Romances have been told:  
One sings the Fame of Cleopatra,  
Cassandra, or of Biles atra  
Writes Satyrs, while in humour jolly  
Another chants the praise of Folly.  
Well sure they did, in mine opinion,  
Each to his Muse to choose a Minion:  
But thou hast such a Subject got,  
As time foregoing show could not:  
A Princess in a strange Disguise,  
That leads the world with such surprise,  
That Story of her with desire  
Has been expected Horse to hire.  
And since 'tis done, no more we'll say,  
Our Thanks shall all thy Labour pay;  
Acknowledging all former Tricks-a  
Surpassed by Vercingetorixa.  
T. M.   

J. C. to the Author.  
NOw that an Exile I am made,  
And am eclipsed as Moon in shade,  
Whilst Pamphleteers my Case do cry,  
Pray, Sir, will you the Princess buy?  
With her kind Husband, Man of Might,  
Who's neither now a Lord nor Knight,  
But is the same as heretofore,  
When bound to Post of Scrivener's Door;  
And so in Rhyme the Wits do cry me,  
Whilst I do weep sans Princess by me;  
And now as wand'ring Knight am bound  
To ambulate the vast Globe round;  
Whilst you 'mongst all have done the right  
To me J. C. no Lord nor night.  
And now to you I send my thanks,  
All that is left of Dowry in Banks,  
For making Verse to speak true Story.  
Of me when in my hopes and glory.  
J. C.   

Dean Dunstable in laudem Authoris.  
PRaise thee I would, as Worth requires,  
And offer Wood to make great Fires,  
For joy that Dame is out of Newgate,  
And is in Codpiece put by New-mate.  
In Rhyme I never could do good,  
Unless of that like Robin Hood,  
Or Hopkins and his Neighbour Sternhold,  
Chanted by me in getting Tayl-hold.  
With Hat in hand I render thanks  
For bringing in my Maypole Shanks:  
For I in Pie had reading Finger,  
But lost conjunction by their Linger;  
And closing Mouth lay snug in House,  
Watching for Jobb as Cat for Mouse.  
But I have done, thy Wit shall fly  
In and beyond my Deanery;  
Never forgetting how Tale-Priest  
Did humbly bow, and Garment kissed.  
W. S. Dean Dunstable, à Deska Capellanus.   

Skydder a Brawl, to the Author.  
AS Phoenix perched in spicy Nest,  
Perfuming thee to be burnt Breast;  
Expecting when bright Sol will burn  
The Bird, and her to Ashes turn:  
So I expected have thy Rhymes,  
To satisfy the longing Times  
And my Desires: thy Book shall lie  
Piled up with my Welsh Poetry;  
And fame of Princess, Harp shall sing,  
Played by Ap-Rise on Cats-Gut string,  
To British Bards, myself being one  
That shall the fate of Princess moan:  
And now I thank thy painful Pen  
For bringing Princess into Ken.  
But when at large, my Rhymes shall run  
As swift as Horses of the Sun,  
Or Goat on Mountain grazing high,  
Well couched in Skydders Poetry.   

The Martial Doctor to the Author.  
YOu that have done the Lady right  
In Story true of City-Knight,  
Who now is vanished as the dust  
Of Coffee made of burnt-bread-crust,  
Who like Gonzales with his Ganders,  
Or Thomas Coreat now he wanders  
With threadbare Cloak on the Ryalta,  
Like to the Gadding Jew of Malta;  
Or like St. Hugh with's Bones at's back,  
And Tinker with his Trull and Pack,  
Lamenting much his fact mishap,  
And Lady-Princess unkind Clap:  
Or whether he with anger blushing  
Be gone to meet his Wealth at Flushing,  
we'll not dispute, but let it pass,  
Whether he be transformed to Ass;  
And only speak of thy rare worth,  
Which taketh pains for to set forth  
(Since scribbling Pens have kept a pother,  
By telling Lies all Truth to smother)  
The Story whole, and dost indite  
With Fancy nimbler than Joe Wright,  
Your Wit being just of the same slander  
With his that drolled at young Leander;  
And much I fear will spoil our Physic,  
Since thou alone canst cure the Phthisic,  
With Rhymes that cause in us such laughter,  
'Twill break Impostures sine plaster;  
And with the mirth of thy sweet Quill,  
Dost quite undo both Purge and Pill.  
Then courage, Friend, and do not sneak  
And fear what men of thee do speak:  
But let those Scoffers who do spite  
Thy jolly Muse, themselves go write;  
Which being compared, the world must then  
Allow thine far the brisker Pen.   

To my worthy Friend the Author upon his GERMAN PRINCESS.  
ONce a great Workman by his cunning Art  
Did shape an Image like the a broke his heart,  
Had not Dame Juno gratified his skill  
In making it a woman to his will.  
Another painted Grapes so to the life,  
That it put all the Birds into a strife  
Who first should taste of them. But to speak all,  
Thy Pen has given their Pencil a fair fall;  
And merely with two colours, white and black,  
Hast laid their Pallas flat upon her back.  
All which I apprehend now from thy Muse,  
Is that she should through all the world infuse  
Such a belief, that thou art the Contriver  
Of all this Plot. I durst lay a whole Stiver  
It will be said, The Princess did but Act,  
And that thou wert the Author of the Fact;  
Since thou hast limned so to the life this Dame,  
Whoere doth see this draught must needs proclaim  
Of all men none could come so near the matter  
As thou hast done. You know I cannot flatter,  
And thus conclude, There's nothing wanting there  
But her false Dialect, Yaw, yaw, min here.  
P. B.   

VERCINGETORIXA: OR, The German Princess reduced to an English Habit.  

NOw every one hath verdict spent  
On Princess in the Gatehouse penned,  
And Scrivener's Boy (pretending Templar)  
A Book hath writ very exemplar,  
Which he doth stile Vindicative,  
And strives his Folly to retrieve;  
Rails against Wives, Cheats, Wits and Arts,  
Bawds, Pimps, Trepans, & Whores in Carts,  
When in good sooth by Venus' Glass,  
Before espoused one clapped her—  
And that he knew; (but Love is blind)  
And Princess would not out of mind.  
But hold (Sir Prologue) now let's enter,  
And speak of Story true th' Adventure.   

When time was come that scribbling Cit.  
Must walk abroad to try his Wit  
Amongst Peripatetic Ladies,  
And kiss his hand to Cheapside Babies,  
His clothes were brushed, Cloak laid in print,  
And off was cleanly rubbed the Lint:  
His Joints were Oiled as if for Match,  
And on his Cheeks was sable Patch;  
A Mark to know his Lordship by:  
His Shoes were of the Gresham Dye.  
So goes to Friend, 
Who made a good Bargain, had he received the benefit.  and in a word,  
Doth quickly borrow Silver Sword;  
And when put on, pray tell who can  
Where he or it was proper man.   

B'ing thus Accoutred, out he goes  
In places clean, keeps dirt from Toes;  
And over Shoulders looks to see  
Who eyes his City-Gravity:  
At last unto the Exchange-Tavern,  
Where Sack is kept in a dark Cavern,  
The Youth comes in, and calls the Skinker  
To show a Room to good Sack-drinker.   

But as on Dunghill Cock doth strut,  
And proudly throws with Heels up Dirt;  
So doth he walk with Yeoman's grace,  
Or Poultry-Sergeant carrying Mace,  
Till out of Window he was spied  
By One, that after was his Bride.   

It was a Princess in disguise,  
With amorous Looks and piercing Eyes,  
That lay there secret and most sullen,  
And lately had escaped from Cullen:  
As rich as Croesus, and as fair  
As any well-dressed Flanders Mare,  
And was to England come to wed  
A City-Chick of the first Head,  
Because she would no longer tarry,  
And German Lord consent to marry:  
But as bright Cynthia with Endymion  
In Love did burn and weep with Onion;  
Or Cupid with his Golden Dart  
Venus wounded to the heart,  
The Princess down in France did fall,  
And in Teutonick began to yall.  
Th' Alarm given, the Servants strait  
Upon the Princess began to wait;  
And Lady Vintner did advance  
To bring the Princess out of France.   

But opening of her Eyes, she cried  
For Youth she out of Window spied;  
And said, That now her Fate was done,  
And strait into strange Passions run.   

The Chamber than was cleared of all,  
And Mistress owed as General:  
In private then they did converse,  
And Mistress prayed Her to rehearse  
The occasion of her sudden change,  
And noise which reached to the Exchange.  
With doleful Looks and weeping Eyes,  
Half uttered Words, and quaking Thighs,   

She told her that in Germany  
A man well read in things o'th' Sky,  
(As British Merlin, Doctor Faustus,  
Or Lily, Trigge or John Acostus)  
Her Fate had told, that she should Wed  
With English Youth, and with him Bed;  
And in a Glass showed her by face  
Him that her Highness' Love should grace.  
The same she out of Window saw  
Before she fell. At this the Maw  
Of Vintner's Wife began to rise,  
Bidding her Highness wipe her Eyes,  
And be content; for she would bring  
The Gallant up her Offering.  
With that she went unto the Lad,  
Who sat alone in Room most sad,  
Thinking and chewing the Adventure,  
At last Barre-Lady she did enter.  
Sir Knight, quoth she, pray cheer thy looks,  
And mope no more like Don on Books;  
But be as high as Lord or Yeomen,  
And now begin to study Women:  
For lovely Looks and gentle Grace,  
Hath deeply wounded Princess face:  
(I mean a Lady bred full high,  
That hath escaped from Germany)  
And hither's come to lie in private,  
And is resolved you to drive at:  
For she was told by wise Magician,  
(Well read in Arts, and great Physician)  
That little man with chitty face  
Her Highness should in Wedlock grace;  
And You are He, as she doth say,  
That to the Church must lead the way.  
Jewels she hath, as Sanguine Ruby,  
Onyx and Saphire with a blue dye;  
Diamond and Topaz, with the Opal,  
Emerald and Agate, Turquez: take all:  
What shall I say? Sh'ath Gems in plenty:  
Pray enter on her; Room is empty.   

As Peacock in a Summer-day  
Doth swell and brustle in his Gay  
And painted Dress, and picks his Plumes,  
But looking on his Feet he fumes;  
So Gentle Sir arose from's Stool,  
And looked as wise as Tom the Fool;  
And having set his Wig in print,  
Careened his Cloak, and given hint  
To Damsel for some Water clear  
For Face and Hands, and hind his Ear:  
On Shoes Coal-black he cast his Eye;  
But when the Dirt he did espy,  
And saw the gloss of's shoes be dirted,  
Good God how's Worship fumed & snorted,  
And raved 'gainst Mayors, City's Shreeve,  
The Scavenger and under-Reeve,  
For keeping Streets in such a pickle,  
Enough to hinder Conventicle.  
But Maid with Dishclout thither came,  
And wiped his Shoes; so ended blame.   

Have you behold the graver Fry  
When to a Dinner they do high?  
How formally they walk at leisure,  
And very tenderly keep measure?  
When but for shame with Zealous Tears  
They'd fly about the Custards Ears,  
And out of order put the Feast,  
Like Knavish Boy on skittish Beast:  
So walked our Spark in steps upright,  
While Lady-Mistress ushered Light:  
But by the roll of's greedy Eye,  
He longed for Principality.   

When Feet into the Room he put,  
A Leg he made to Princess Scut;  
And kneeling on his bended Knee,  
The Tears did fall like drops from Tree,  
And said, What's, Lady, your Behest  
To Servant newly come from Desk?  
Say, gentle Dame, for by St. Jervase  
My Pen and Ink shall do you service:  
For I can write in Prose and Verse,  
And can your Creatness well rehearse;  
And have fans help of VVrit or Patrin,  
Acquired some ends of broken Latin,  
And this by study very hardy;  
And now believe I am not tardy.  
Your Highness I desire to tell me,  
Whether good fortune hath befell me;  
And whether 
* Observe he was well acquainted with Ignoramus.  Dull-man here on Knee  
Shall of your Grace be seized in Fee.  
The words this Wight had scarcely said,  
When She in's Bosom threw her Head,  
And bid the weeping Lover rise,  
And with her Clout to wipe his Eyes.  
Then up he stood tall as Bevis,  
Or little Dwarf dressed up for Mevis;  
And did a wait Reply of Princess  
While Heart in Belly kicks and winces;  
Quoth She—   

Sweet Ganymede, for 'twixt you there's no odds,  
thou'rt fit to carry Trenchers to the Gods,  
And sit in Juno's Lap like Child in Cradle,  
Or be a Groom to Phoebus' horse in Stable:  
From foreign soil I come, crept out of Cloister,  
And thee have found like Orient Pearl in Oyster.  
Do but consent, this Gem I mean to put  
Into my Heart, like Pudding made in Gut:  
For Lands or Livings, or Bags full of Money,  
Or Warrens stored with Coal-black Coney;  
Or Coach that rattles in the street,  
With set of Horses very meet,  
I ask thee not, or test by Letter  
Of Pounds laid into City-Checquer;  
Or where thy moping doting Grandam  
Will leave thee Bags to spend at randame;  
Or whether father purging Amber  
Hath Bags piled up in Money-chamber:  
Of these no wants I have, my DEAR,  
For I have thousands by the year,  
Which thou shalt spend, by old King Harry,  
If Princess thou'lt consent to marry.  
Just like the City-Excrementer,  
(The Office-Emptier to the Venture)  
When long Pole in the house he puts,  
And fathoms not; Oh how he struts,  
Reckoning the Quantity and Gain  
To be conveyed in Carts, not Wain:  
So greedy Knight when Tale had heard,  
He licked his Lips, and wiped 
* Or place where he would have had one.  his Beard;  
And having blest his happy Fate  
That brought him such a vast Estate,  
Beyond the reach of City-wit,  
Or learned Body Politic,  
Like Statue made in Gingerbread,  
He neither moved his Corpse or Head;  
But stood like Bull bedight in Fair,  
Or Monkey set up in a Chair:  
And after pause, and pause was fit,  
He fumbled out his Schoolboy wit;  
And in a stile most humble wise,  
(Having like Polecat stared in Eyes)  
He said, Most lovely witty Germane,  
Fairer than Negro, strong as Carman,  
I do consent, and from this Toe  
To Ivory Belly I will go;  
And enter will thy Arched Cloister,  
That gapes for Liquor like an Oyster;  
Where I will labour like a Brewer,  
Or he that cleanseth common Sewer.   

The answer of the worthy Squire,  
Set Lady-Princess all on fire:  
To Knight without delay she run,  
And hugged him as the Child doth Bun;  
But whether Livery or Seizing  
Was taken then, (as was good reason)  
I cannot tell, but sure I am  
London agreed with Amsterdam.   

But I had almost quite forgot  
Her Pedigree as broad as Scot,  
Long as Cadwallader the fierce,  
(That eats more Cheese than Barley Mess)  
Or Low-Dutch Hogan, called Van Rutter,  
With Breech of Bacon, Face of Butter:  
Then she in private told young Lord  
Of great descent in one bare word,  
That she was pigged very high,  
As from the Toe to top of Thigh,  
Called Vulva, from the Vulva born,  
As 
* As 'tis elegantly expressed by the Author of Hero and Leander.  from the Oak drops the Acorn;  
And could compute from Eve the Spinster,  
When Adam first advanced against her:  
But being in haste, pursued by foe  
That traced her on the Petitoe,  
Her Pedigree drawn out in Vellum  
By German Herald, yclept Skellum,  
'Mongst other things of worth unknown,  
Was into friends kind Clutches thrown,  
Till News was given of her arrival,  
And that she wedded Knight Corrival;  
Her Goods and Plate full rich embossed,  
Should all be stripped for English Coast.   

Silence, my Princess, quoth this Knight;  
For by the Sable Shades of Night  
I'm satisfied as well as He  
That stuffs his Guts on Appletree;  
And hasten will our Matrimonials  
By Office Faculty's Testimonials.  
B'ing over full with joy he farted;  
And having kissed her Lips, he parted.   

Then came grave Justice sage and wise,  
That used at Sessions to advise,  
Sprung from the Race of Cambrian King,  
Who sweeter far than Bard could sing  
Skyddur— A Brawl surnamed the Great  
Andrake, renowned for Martial feat.   

Madam, quoth he, welcome on Shore  
Of Albion's Isle: I'll praise thee more  
Than blithest Bard that ere was drunk  
With any 
* A Simile much used by him.  Heliconian Punk:  
I'll make thy Name live when expired,  
As Phoenix born from Nest b'ing fired.  
Then lowting low on bended Knee,  
As if adoring Deity,  
With holy Zeal and Sack inspired,  
Her Health he drank; and being fired  
In lofty Tones and Verse Prophetic,  
With Ditty sweet, and not Pathetic,  
Her praise he chants, and did fore-bode  
Great Race should come from Sable Pode.  
With that he rose, and gave the Liquor  
To Princess Goll, who 'gan to smicker,  
Taking carouse: it shall go hard,  
She said, but that I will, Dear Bard,  
Thee much advance for thy sweet Rhymes,  
Maugre the Poets of the times:  
Thou shalt have Riches, and wears Bays,  
And Laureate be to sing my praise.   

Like Butcher's Dog in Garden Paris,  
That mows down Bears as Sythes do Harvest,  
And having fore contented Eyes,  
Carried away the worthy Prize,  
In streets he walks close to the Wall,  
And snarls at's Fellows great and small:  
So puffed-up Youth by Princess graced,  
Looked big as Bull with Bulldogs traced;  
And puffing swelling Sir, appeared  
As big as Morgan's mighty Beard:  
For every one he met on's way,  
Although his Friends, yet would not stay;  
But like a Beggar born in Cot,  
When Wealth and Riches he hath got,  
Where ere he comes makes a great pother,  
And will not know Father or Mother:  
So Blade doth strut upon his high Pins  
Like Artist great well skilled in Ninepins;  
Telling them now they must forbear  
With foolish Tales to trouble Ear,  
For he was many Stories higher  
Since last with them, and now a Squire;  
The best in all the English Court  
Beneath him was for to consort:  
Emp'rors, Kings, Princes, Lords and Earls,  
Should his Companions be, not Karles.  
At length he came to Daddies House,  
And set him down as still as Mouse;  
And Cocking Bever, looked on Sword  
That did return him ne'er a word:  
Quoth he, 
* Note, that Knights errand of Yore used to make suchlike Speeches to their Swords or Horses: as you may see several in the Reverend Legends of Don Quixot.  Bright Blade made of good steel,  
If thou my pangs of Love didst feel.  
Thou'dst out of Scabbard draw thy Mettle,  
And make more noise than Drum called Kettle:  
But now I think on't, keep thy edge,  
Princess to guard through Ditch & Hedge;  
And when occasion doth require,  
Be thou her Guardian and her Squire.   

When Mother heard her Infant tartle,  
And to discourse 
* Love is always childish.  like Child with Rattle,  
To him She came, charging the Youth  
To tell her all in sober sooth;  
For that She feared he was 
* Take heed of Fascination.  overlooked  
By evil Eyes, or by some rooked  
Into belief of strange adventure,  
Which had occasioned this distemper.   

To satisfy his Mams desire,  
And expectation of his Sire,  
He did begin, and bypast Story  
Repeated over like learned Jack Dory:  
And prayed his Parents by their leave  
To keep't as close as Knife in 
* Whereby you may note, he intended to be a Courtier.  Sheath.   


* Observe that Frenzy runs in a blood.  As he that by strange fury led  
With strange Chimeras in his head,  
Supposed himself to be a Member  
In Commons house in times most tender,  
Crept into seat, and took his place,  
And boldly looked on Lenthals Mace,  
At length discovered for a Stray  
That had leapt into brethren's way,  
And was yclept Vintner Master,  
That took the House for Common Pasture;  
Voted he was for his offence  
Unto the Pound, so carried thence:  
So Parents hearing Sons Relation,  
Were both surprised in the like fashion;  
Their thoughts being nought but Lord & Madam,  
Ne'er thinking on poor delving Adam:  
But time may make them chew the Cud,  
And value Vokes in house of Mud.  
Quoth Mother to her aged Husband,  
Rejoice with me, and put on clean Band;  
For John our Son by Salmon's Jowles,  
Will rear up House as high as Paul's;  
And make us all by his Adventers  
Get more them 
* One that traded very much in that Commodity, in Purchasing of the King's Lands.  Vrlyn by Debenters.  
Quoth aged Sire, My Dear, enough;  
Pray send for Martial Friend in Buff,  
And bid him bring with him his Cutter,  
And Pocket Pistol: do not mutter,  
But hasten to him; for by my Whiskers  
More he shall get by this then 
* Note, that his Friends professed Physic.  Glisters,  
Or riding up and down the street,  
Striking of fire with Horses feet.  
Bid him from me leave Turkish 
* Id est, Coffee.  Julep,  
And drink Canary sweet as Tulip.  
For such a Man of mighty Spirit,  
Undaunted Courage beyond merit,  
Our Son must have if 's heart should fail,  
To undermine Princesses Tail.  
At length the Gallant being come,  
And Strangers all put out of room,  
The old Man he assumed the Chair,  
By him his Lady, (foul, not fair)  
Of one side young Lord sits with Hat on,  
On the other Friend with Iron Cap on.  

* A fit Allusion.  Have you beheld the close Committee  
When Oliver trepanned the City,  
How Gravely they in Council sat,  
Like Puss when set to catch a Rat?  
So after silence and great leisure,  
The Daddy did unfold the treasure  
Of Fortune, Beauty, and Descent  
Of Lady-Princess to be shent,  
And snatched away by Ink and Pen,  
Like Chick by Kite from wary Hen.  
When Friend had heard the full Relation  
Of Princess come from foreign Nation,  
And judging it a thing full desperate  
That Lady should be made his Copesmate;  
And in respect of highborn Lineage,  
And fortunes fair besides within age,  
Adjure he did the Youth with fear  
To forbear handling Ladies Gear:  
But being resolved in Pate so addle  
To win the Horse, or lose the Saddle,  
He answer framed in terms most haughty,  
To gentle friend that was not loughty.   

Sir, If my Lady-Princess love me  
As I do her, who can reprove me?  
I am a man, 'tis true, o' th' Quill,  
And use Blank Bonds to sit and fill;  

* Of late there hath been many such examples.  But what of that? Crispin the Cobbler  
Was loved of Princess, and did down-jobble her:  
And many more I can relate  
That have crept into the same state;  

* As these late times can testify.  Been Generals, made Governors of Islands,  
Lords of great Castles steep as Highlands:  
And who can tell but I may be  
Vicegerent in High Germany,  
And have my Squadrons dressed in Buff,  
With Pistol, Sword, and Sable Muff?   

When Friend saw Youth as fully bend  
As Cutting Dick when's money's spent,  
That stands at corner of Hyde-park,  
Robbing both Poor and Rich i' th' dark,  
He did forbear to reason further,  
As much as Rabbi 'gainst self-murder;  
And said, My Lord, pray no more words,  
Unless of Cheesecakes, Cream and Curds,  
To be devoured on Wedding-day,  
When you are fine as Green 
* Th● best 〈◊〉 may borrow.  Poppay.  
But by the way, to clear all doubts,  

* A Simile fit enough for the subject.  As Maiden washes Infants Clouts,  
And prevent stain on ancient house,  
Worse than Beast on Cloak called Louse,  

* As it too truly f●ll out.  Lest Lady of the ancient Manor,  
Called Bloomsberry, where lives no Tanner  
Should dress herself in Princely shape,  
And you deceive like Jackanapes:  
Therefore—  

* Would he had taken the counsel.  Take my advice, and be not slow,  
But strait unto the Tower go;  
See beast there Couchant called Lion,  
That fawns on Princes when cast eye on;  
Whereby you'd know if Princely born,  
Or else his stern he'll whisk in scorn.  
Quoth he,—  
No more of that, fair friend of Steel  
Such Trial, DEAR, must never feel:  
For I do know she's Princess stalk,  
As sure as Dames know Grays-Inne walk;  
And further to confirm the truth  
Of my believe, conceive me, Youth,  
She'll not consent, or me admit  
With her to play at Game 
* The same that Peter's played with the Butcher's wife.  Treytrip,  
Till her great Riches do come over,  
And Land within the Port of Dover.  
Besides, in penance once she went,  
And met fierce Beast that was unpent;  
Who humbly kneeled as Friend, not Foe  
And all ore-lickt her sweaty Toe.  
So ended Gallants high Discourse,  
Being resolved to run his course;  
As is the Dog when set at Bear,  
Or Groom attempting Ladies Ware.  
Quoth he to's Friend, Sir, I can't tarry,  
For Princess I must forthwith marry:  
Be close as night, firm as the ground,  

* The more's the pity he made not sure on't.  (For Gag receive two hundred pound)  
But not till money comes to London,  
Then I am made, or else I'm undone.  
But till I come to her Estate,  
Be our Companion, and our Mate:  
For I resolve when we take Court,  
And great Men to us do resort,  
Thy little Legs shall strut in Hall,  
And thou be called our General.  
Be Captain of our Guard of Horse,  
Of Troopers tall, fiercer than Moss:  
Shalt use our Court, Goods, Plate & Money,  
And Princess too, excepting Coney.   

When friend had heard this proffer great,  
And how the Knight did him entreat,  
And offered all even to his Jerkin,  
Excepting lovely Princess Merkin,  
He was full glad that by the end  
He had taken such a real Friend:  
And thanks to him he then did utter  

* He was always too modest.  In manner smooth like new-made Butter:  
Like Presbyterian, Independent,  
When both resolved to have an end on't,  
They in their Canting Hymns did sing,  
And hand in hand did murder King:  
So Daddy, Mammy, Friend and Knight,  
In Judgement one did all unite;  
And did agree without long tarry,  
That Knight should Lady-Princess marry.  
But as the Council was adjourning,  
The Lady-sister entered mourning;  
Acquainting them that foreign Knight,  

* It has always been the custom of Knight-Errants to go in quest after their Doxeys.  With coal-black hair, & eyes like spirit,  
Had at the house enquiry made  
For German Princess, and like Blade,  

* Like some of our Modern Hectors.  Or Gallant a la mode did swear,  
That heart from body he would tear  
Of him that durst crack Princess Nut,  
Or dare with her to go to Rutilio:  
And wheresoever he found the Man  
Should dare to usher Princess hand,  
His Arms he'd cut off to the bones,  
And whisk out Laboring-Dog-Prick- Stones:  
Withal he'd give two hundred pound  
Princess to see on English ground,  
That he might carry her to Cullen  
With greater Joy than Anne from Bullen.   

Have you beheld a Miller's Coat,  
The white Beard of a Rammish Goat?  
A New Thin, Cheese, or Harry Groat,  
Or New-turned Milk, (that's very naught?)  
So pale and thin looked Princess servant  
When he had heard the fierce Knights errand;  
Believing that his Hangers by  
For bold attempt should surely die.  
The House was all in Chitty Chatty,  
And Heart of Knight went Pity Patty:  
At length arose the little Captain  
To Corpse de Guard, before mad Chieftain.   

Courage, Sir Knight, quoth he, be bold,  
And quit not Princess strong tayl-hold:  
For by my flaming Sword of Steel,  
This Brave shall Doughty Mettle feel:  
Bid Lackey-Boy go call a Coach,  
While I the Knave on Spit do broach.  
The Coach being come, & Boot put down  
And Lackey tayling Princess Gown,  
Knight put her in as well as able,  
And drove to house of Dean Dunsiable,  
As tall as Meg Westminster Lass,  
And of the make of Caiaphas;  
Where he agreed to take a Room  
For her, and him the good Bridegroom.  
But had you seen the Mimic Gesture  
Of Reading Priest in his long Vesture,  
How humbly he did scrape and bow,  
And licked his Lips, (like Calf by Cow)  
With Hat held under arm like Bagpipe,  
Stood he upright like man in Moonlight;  
Acquainting in his Gesture featly,  
That he could marry them most neatly;  
And Churches more could have then Hearers  
For to assist such Love-Pickeerers:  
And having asked advice of Priest  
(First charging him for to be hissed)  
Whether 'twas lawful, fit or just  
That Scrivener should at Princess thrust;  
Pray think what said the Priest hereat;  
Indeed he spoke the words of Pilate,  
Saying, I find no fault therein;  
For Copulation is no sin:  
For by such Jobs as these I'm richer  
Than twelve Apostles, or St. Peter.  
At last the Gallants took their farewell  
Of Priest in Coat Canonical:  
Having beforehand paid dirt for Lodging,  
For he and she to play hodge-dodge in,  
If not prevented by Tongue-blabber,  
Or Information of Dutch Swabber.  
But being returned again to London,  
Enquiring out what Spies had then done,  
They found there fresh pursuits by Letters  
To look out Princess though in fetters,  
With promise fresh to give more Money  
To him should tell where lay Dear Honey.  
At this the Knight was sore affrighted,  
And stared like Beast anew bedighted,  
Knowing not whither he should go  
To shun pursuit of cruel Fo.  
The Council being called again,  
And sat as close as sheep in Pen,  
It was resolved at pale Knights instance  
For to prevent a further mischance,  
That married they should be in Church,  
And lie no more like Dogs at Lurch.  
As Loyal-suff'ring Cavaliers  
Were lugged about like Pigs by th' ears,  
By people then, and yet called Saints,  
Upon pretence of great Complaints,  
And brought to Haberdasher's Hall,  
Where with Contracts they did 'em maul;  
And Moyer with his Ferret-Eyes  
As red as Low-Dutch Lady's Thighs,  
Would with one blow of Wooden Hammer  
Conclude, sequester, and not stammer:  
So aged Sire with Fist fast clutched,  
Gave Table blow, and wise Son mutched,  
And bid him get him to the Church,  
While he went home on Wooden Crutch.   

In Smithfield liveth a Divine  
That loves a Cup of brisk old Wine;  
And, though Canonical, can tope  
As well as he that plucks the Rope;  
And loveth flesh better than fish,  
And eats of many a good man's dish;  
Pretending a Prerogative  
In this to be Dispensative:  
To him; the Knight, the Princess friend,  
And elder Brother at the end,  
Was come along to see the Wedding,  
And be eye-witness to their Bedding;  
And joyful news to Dad to carry,  
And words to hear, I John take Mary.   

When Priest had set his face in fashion,  
He finished words of Copulation:  
Which being done, they fell a grinning  
As loud as Wench let loose from spinning;  
And Parson too began to snear  
When eye he cast towards Princess Gear.  
But Licence man in black had not;  
Haste and the fear had it forgot:  
But they must do as Dick with Bess,  
Go to't and work de bene esse,  
Till Licence was got seal'd before 'em,  
They might go to't, though of the Quorum  
Justice were by, they had satisfaction,  
And being resolved for amorous action,  
They drove away to place called Barnet,  
And with them took their Parson Garnet:  
Where being come, they fell a eating,  
And hungry Priest threw Wine & meat in,  
Like Miser at a City-feast,  
That eats ten Meals in one at least.  
At length their Guts being stuffed with food,  
And all being set on merry mood,  
The Parson he took off his Girdle.  
That binds his Coat as With does Hurdle,  
And did begin to dance and caper  
Like Poppet made up with brown Paper:  
Princess began a German Dance,  
And friend in Buff like Mars did prance:  
The Lord did dance in order meet,  
And Elder Brother on's bare feet;  
An ancient Custom where young Cit  
Before his Elder— doth hit.  
At length the Couple went to Bed,  
And Cap was put on young Lords head;  
The Posset too of Sack was eaten,  
And Stock in thrown too, (all besweaten)  
Which Ceremonies being ended,  
And that days work by all commended,  
The Parson, Brother, and his Friend,  
Bid him, 
Good advice in a fierce Assault.  Ride soft to's Journeys end;  
And German Shins forbear to rub,  
Lest fwallowed in her Butter tub:  
Wishing them sport at very heart,  
They left the Lord at Princess Mart.  
The famous Couple thus at rest,  
And closely linked as Birds in Nest,  
Friends did return, and fell to Toping,  
While Lord his Princess was a Groping:  
And elder Brother of the Lord  
Being with Liquor over-goared,  
Went and lay down upon his Bed  
To rest his drowsy drunken head,  
While Captain and the worthy Parson  
So plied their Cups, they could see scarce one.  
The Man of Mars told John of Leyden  
That he must down to fair young Maiden,  
And Conjure down the evil Spirit  
That Coney hunts as doth the Ferret.  
So down he went, and in a Bed  
Close on the sides and over head,  
He found the Kitchin-Damsel sleeping,  
But having waked her, he did peep in.  
As subtle Fox, that crafty Beast,  
When head gets in, brings on the rest;  
So he his body did get in,  
And played with 
* A very ancient Game, and much in use.  two Bowls & Nine-pin:  
And when the Game was fairly done,  
Strait to the Parson he did come,  
And gave to him account of all  
That in his Journey did befall;  
Desiring him in favour much  
Not to acquaint the holy Church:  
But Parson blamed unkind Companion  
That he should mount his Demi-Cannon  
'Gainst Maiden-fort, and let him not  
At hairy Sconce to have one shot.  
When morning-light begant' appear,  
And day was noised by Chaunticlear,  
The friends and Parson went to Room  
Where lay the Bride and the Bridegroom;  
And as they entered Princess smiled,  
But Knight did look as Owl par boy led,  
And like to Bulrush hanged his head,  
Being more fit for Grave then Bed.  
The friends did pity Knight so little  

* Belike he came out of the Princess Stove much like to Cornelius his Tub.  When they saw him in sweeting pickle;  
Then Martial Doctor stepped to Knight;  
And prayed him shortly to recite  
His last night's labour with the Dame,  
And where the Mare held up her Mane.  
At this young Lord began to weep,  
And Doctor prayed counsel to keep,  
For that his Princess with hot force  
Had spoiled quite his Watercourse. 
An unkind Bed-fellow   
No more, quoth Doctor Steel-Cap then,  
There's Cure for you as other men:  
In four days time I'll cure your Tool,  
And make it found as Oaken Stool;  
Therefore arise, show signs of mirth,  
And pay respect to Royal Birth.  
Having received this good advice,  
He put on Garments in a trice;  
Yet 
* Blame him not, for he came from, hot service.  walked like one late all befired,  
Or like a Horse that's newly tired:  
At length being-full of Country-air,  
Back to the Town they did repair;  
Where being come to Father's Court,  
Their friends in Clusters did resort,  
To kiss the Hand of Princely Dame,  
Merely for love of Royal Name,  
Whilst Lord was clearing of the way,  
And access to his Princess gay;  
Telling them Proverb very old,  
By others to him long-since told,  
That after high attempts and pother,  

* He might safelier have cunnde a Ship then her.  He had got the Steerage of her Ruther;  
And now-that maugre all her friends,  
Of Princely Dame he had his ends.   

A Banquet than was well dressed out  
To entertain the City-Rout;  
Wine too was given to them in Glasses,  
And drink they did, and bray like Asses,  
While Lady-Princess looked as mute  
As doth the Privy Lovers Lute.  
The Banquet ended, friends departed  
You may conceive not heavy-hearted,  
And mounted were in Streets I ween,  
As Bergerack was in Moon-machine.   

When house was cleared of all but friends,  
On Princess there was further ends  
Intended to be done in instance,  
Married to be again with Licence,  
For to prevent the Lawyers bawl  
In Court Ecclesiastical:  
The which was done, and then old Sur  
With Instrument well drawn sans blur,  
Reciting Princess Earth in hand,  
And Personal Goods about to land,  
Desired the same might be made over  
To Lord his Son, and her great Lover.  
To this he hoped she'd not be shy,  
Being to prevent Mortality:  
Sir, quoth the Princess, I'll consult  
My Pillow, and give you result:  
But till I die I think not fit  
To part with ‛ State or Wealth one bit:  
Besides, your Son's to me but light wood,  
And han't received Honour of Knighthood;  
Though in regard of my high Birth  
He's called Lord, with Caps to th' Earth:  
And judge, pray Sir, when friends arrive,  
And see their Princess Scrivener's Wife,  
will't not disparage high descent,  
As Garters in Rump-Parliament?  
Like Child rebuked crying for Knife,  
Stood Father without Soul or Life;  
Or without Fodder Cow in pound,  
Or Ape in chain with whip scourged round.  
At length he spoke to Princess face  
With homespun Language, Cobbler's grace:  
May't please your Highness; Daughter, I  
No harm did think most verily.  
Quoth she, Pray, Sir, no more of this,  
We do forgive what is amiss; 
A Princely Pardon.   
And for to satisfy your Will,  
Time and his Love shall it fulfil.  
At this, Old Eighty Eightwas glad,  
And strait acquainted Lordlike Lad,  
And of Discourse for future Good,  
And how his Lady was all Wood:  
But said, they ended in pure Love,  
As time to him would shortly prove.  
Being thus satisfied at large,  
As City-Dames in husband's Barge,  
With Tommy, Willy, James and Jack,  
While good men cry, Pray, what d'ye lack?  
The Father with content fetched down  
In Bags full stuffed many a Crown:  
Bid him to treat her like herself,  
And let her not to want for Pelf,  
Or Garments new the best in fashion,  
Or Hide-Park-air for recreation;  
And to attire his Lordship's Body  
With Silks and Satins very hoddy▪  
And Lodgings new in Strand to take,  
And Preparations great to make,  
To entertain his Royal Kindred,  
Which now his little Palace hindered.   

The Lord with Money in his hand  
Did trip it neatly to the Strand,  
And house by house enquiry made  
Of Lodging void for Princely Blade:  
At length he took up Princess Stall  
In Durham-yard at Golden Ball;  
And thither she in trice was brought  
As safe as Cheese in Apple-Loft:  
And in good sooth she did appear  
Like Sol in his bright Hemisphere,  
With Gold and Silver all bedight,  
And in a Case of Gold, the Knight  
Well shaped by Painter of Signpost,  
Like Antic in gilt Wood embossed,  
Hung by her side when entered Lodging,  
To show she'd caught a City-Gudgeon:  
Where being lodged, on the next day  
The Tradesmen set in good array,  
Did humbly crave his Lordship strait  
For Licence on his Corpse to wait:  
One to serve Shoes, another Linen;  
Stockings a third by Loom or Spinning:  
A fourth to fit his Pate with Bevers;  
A fifth with Swords as sharp as Clevers:  
A sixth to make his Periwigs;  
A seventh to teach the newest Jigs:  
An eighth his Garments for to make;  
A ninth to cure the pain Toothache:  
A tenth Sweet-powder for to bring,  
For Hair and Beard, and Lady's Thing:  
A 'leventh and twelfth to furnish Meat,  
As Flesh or Fish, old Ling or Neat.  
Gentlemen, quoth this worthy Knight,  
To me this is a pleasant sight,  
And sweeter far than Hampshire-Honey,  
In places sold for store of Money:  
For I rejoice to see my Servants  
For to attend and run on Errants;  
And as Dame Fortune gave to me,  
So I to you, as you shall see.  
Your places take, which is no hard thing  

* He scorned to sell places; a custom now very à la mode.  To be admitted without Farthing.   

Next day the Knight did want a Gown  
To dress him in, not Russet brown,  
Or scribbling Coat more rude than Freezes  
That's homely made of 
* The Fleeces of Wool taken off from Scabbed Sheep, 31 Edw. 3. Cap 5.  Villain Fleeces,  
But Indian-Dress of Pink and Green,  
Fellow to that on Great Back seen;  
Which being on, he looked as stout  
As Gem well fastened in Hogs Snout;  
And did contemn his truest friends  
That did assist him in his ends,  
And slight he did the Art of is Pen,  
And all converse with vulgar men;  
And Captain True-Friend was laid by,  
And slighted with a scornful eye:  
The Owner of the Silver Sword,  
Of Weapon could hear ne'er a word:  
These the Lord hated by pure Argent,  
As much as broken Cit a Sergeant;  
And at Bopeep with them did play,  

* As great men use to do by their Duns.  At home to morrow, not this day:  
Sometime employed in great Concerns,  
When he was cutting Princess Kerns:  
At other times dispatching Orders  
To's Stewards on the Germane Borders,  
Requiring an account of Wealth,  
And of his Cousin-Princes health.  
But while in Puff-Paste Lord doth strut,  
And studies only Back and Gut,  
Dame Fortune wheeled her tail about,  
And turned his Lordship to a Lout:  
For Shoemaker by a Petition  
In Court did humbly pray admission  
To serve them with both Boots and Shoes,  
As well to ride as for to run:  
But Princess seeing the Address  
Of bold Sir Hugh, she began to guests  
His Errand thither, telling Lord  
He Calve-skins cut upon her word;  
And that she could not fancy him  
'Mongst all the Race of Cobbling Men.  
The answer of the Princely Spouse,  
Hugh and his Bones did forthwith rouse;  
For he did kindle like a Taper,  
And looked as pale as any Paper;  
And having vindication made  
Of Paring-Knife and Awl, (sharp Blade)  
Goodness of Leather, Wax and Thread,  
And able Workman called Ned,  
He packed up Tools, and went his way  
With stiffened Whiskers, Beard of Whey,  
Contriving in his Horny Pate  
Malice against the Lord's Bed-mate.   

The next day Lord went to Hyde-park,  
With him his Princess, (light not dark)  
For she did shine as bright as Sun,  
But Lord did look as sad as 
* The common Hangman.  Dun,  
When but one Hector doth appear  
To help expense of following year,  
Though they were treated in the Park  
By Ladies great▪ and many a Spark;  
Giving right-hand to Royal Madam,  
And great respect which much did glad 'um.  
But coming home unto their Court,  
Sir Hugh to Lord did strait resort;  
Told him he could relate sad Story  
Would make him weep in all his Glory,  
And curse the time that ever he  
His Hawk at Hobby did let flee:  
Enough to put him into Lax,  
Not to be stayed by Cobbler's Wax.   

The Knight did wonder what he meant,  
And prayed him to declare intent  
Of his address: for he did make  
His Teeth to chatter, Knees to shake,   

Why then, quoth he, your Lady gay  
Is Kentish breed, and Crowders Spray;  
And married is to a Shoemaker  
That is no Cobbler or Translator:  
And hath to boot (take't not in Dudgeon)  
Another Husband called a Surgeon;  
And you in order make the third,  
For Princess is not worth a—   

This made the Lord to fume and fret▪  
And water drop like Sable Jet:  
For he did whine and howl like Dog  
When at his Tail is Wooden Clog;  
And sad mishap did oft recount  
Of this to-be-imagined Count   

Have you beheld the Jack-an-Apes  
With Bears and Dogs, his constant Mates,  
When Horse was set upon by Dogs,  
Being resolved to pluck off ●ugs▪  
Of little Gentleman in Coat,  
How gallantly with them he fought?  
Sometimes the Horse was down, and he  
Was brought upon his little Knee;  
Then up again he'd get to Grupper,  
And with his Jaws begin to mutter;  
Thence to the head, and so to side,  
And could not at one place abide:  
At length being tired as well as able,  
Crept to his Noose, and shut the Saddle.  
So good Master John 'twixt hope and fear,  
Was entertained with the like Cheer▪  
And I dare say by his fierce screeches,  
He 
* A Story so well known, it need not be told again.  Atkinized his Wedding-Breeches.   

The Lackey-Boy was sent away  
To Father and to Mother; Nay,  
His Sister too, the good Matchmaker,  
Of Story true must be Partaker▪  
Who being come, the Lord did tell  
His sad mischance, which made 'em yell,  
And to exclaim 'gainst German Lady  
That had abused poor little Baby.  
At last they went into Bedchamber,  
Where Princess lay like Dog in Manger,  
Till aged Sire did her importune  
The truth to tell, if such a fortune,  
Or where she was a German Princess,  
Or who had taken her by th' Inches  
'Fore Son did enter Lower Quarters,  
Or who wore Signior Cobbler's Garters  
When he did marry her in Church,  
And who she lamed and brought to Crutch;  
And who it was besides did scrub her,  
And what the Surgeon was did probe her.  
This fierce assault did make the Lady  
To stand as mute at Jointed Baby,  
And was surprised to hear the Gabble  
Of this connext and joined Rabble,  
By which the women thought her guilty,  
With hand and knee they hilty-tilty  
Most shamefully did her assault,  
Which made her Royal Back to halt,  
Whilst antedated Lord stood by,  
And like Boy whipped did snob and cry:  
At last Old Man as fierce as Hector,  
Having more of Henbane then of Nectar,  
Laid hands upon the Lady's Garments,  
Jewels and Rings, and her Attirements,  
And Gouty Shank was held aloff,  
And new Silk-Stockins plucked off:  
In fine, they stripped her to her Smock,  
So fine, you might have seen her Nock.  
Then much despised by bawling Litter,  
Which made before their Chaps to twitter.   

When all Indignities were over,  
In Germane Vest they did her cover,  
With Justacore and a Night-Rayle,  
And Pettycoat all black to th' ●ayle,  
The same reserved by Ships master,  
When she escaped from foreign Cloister,  
Thence brought 'fore Godfrey not of Bullion,  
For this did use her like a Scullion;  
And so by Beadle fell and Hostile,  
He sent her to the Gatehouse Bastille:  
Where being come, the Gates flew open  
For to receive Dutch Fro Van Slopen,  
As great Companion come to dwell  
In Prison close much like to Hell.   

The noise of Princess close restraint,  
Sent persons great to hear her Plaint:  
But when they heard her to discourse,  
They nettled were like Pampered Horse;  
And did applaud her highbred Parts,  
Not to be equalised at Marts,  
Or Ladies some with face like Maple,  
That spend their time in tittle-tattle,  
With great respect they did her treat,  
And sent in Money, Wine and Meat,  
And Bribes to Keeper to be civil,  
As he that Candle holds to Devil:  
Where I will leave her to her Fate,  
Still great, though in confined estate:  
And for her high-conceited Lord,  
When Reputation he had scored  
On Tick and borrow, than he went  
To Chamber where he Body penned,  
Believing German Knight would call  
His Lordship to account for all  
His base abusing Princely Dame,  
And using her with so much shame:  
And Parents full with shame and ire,  
Did mope and dote like Cats by fire.   

But stay, my Muse, now hand is in,  
o'er Boots and Shoes; thou'lt never lin,  
Though thou be grown as dull and weary  
As Sculler at the Labouring Ferry:  
So cease at present, and let end,  
For this time working feet befriend,  
Till second part in Canto acquaint,  
Shall write of Princess close restraint;  
How long in prison she did stay,  
And who for Liberty made way;  
How she was brought 'fore Learned Bench,  
And treated like herself, (not Wench)  
And how she in most learned guise  
Defence did make, (to those are wise)  
Pleading her Cause like fluent Cato,  
Or Advocate with a bald Pateo;  
And was with great applause acquitted,  
And Father, Son, and all out-witted.  
This shall be sung in the next Part,  
As second course to cheer your heart.   

The Princess to her Lord: a Farewell.  
THere was a time when Skinker Perkin  
Leapt into Prince from a Frieze Jerkin:  
Time also was, as't has been said,  
When Friar Bacon's brazen Head  
Spoke monstrous things; but We do tell  
Of stranger things that have befell,  
How pretty Monkey in disguise  
Held 
* A Name she much used to call her Lord by.  Peascod in her Mouth as prise.  
Oh fatal time! how couldst thou be  
So cruel in thy Managery?  
More fierce than erst thou wast to Fellow,  
Who though in rage with Drink more mellow,  
Did all his forepast Fancies deem  
Of Drunken brain the passing steem.  
Oh my sweet Peascod, prithee think  
Like him, that all thy hopes was drink.   
FINIS.   

ERRATA.  
PAg. 2. lin. 8. read Check. l. 14. r. properer. p. 3. l. 17. r. Trance. l. 22. r. Trance. p. 4. l. 2. r. awed. p. 11. l. 10. r. shipped. p. 23. l. 9 r. dust.