TO THE RIGHT honourable, THE High Court of Parliament, SITTING AT WESTMINSTER: The Illegal and Immodest Petition of Praise-God Barbone, Anabaptist and Leather-seller of LONDON;  
Most impudently showeth,  
THat your Petitioner hath lived a great while, and indeed long enough to have had more wit, and more honesty; That Satan finding his head empty of all goodness, did one day stuff it with Heretical Notions and Whimsies, even as full as men are wont to stuff Fillets of Veal with sweet Herbs, that the Protector called him to be a Parliament man, which so fattened his meager Ambition, that he hath had ever since a very itching desire to be meddling with State Affaires. That he finds as long as ENGLAND is governed by sober and good Magistrates, he is like to get nothing more than his Shop will afford him: That the two largest pools of troubled waters for Self-seeking men to fish in, are Distraction in the State, and Unsettlement in the Church. That your Petitioner likes no Government of a single Person, unless it be that which was set up in Munster, and to such a one he prayeth a longer continuance. That Religion, Conscience, and Morality have been now used long enough in the world, and that 'tis fit there should be some new Innovation invented to succeed them. That it is time now, since he hath got nothing all this while, but only an Order to be controller of Haberdashers-Hall, to be stirring and looking out for Portions for his Children with hard Names. That as he is a Leather-seller, he ought to see all the Adversaries of his lunatic devotion, flayed and soaked in the Tan-fat of Oppression, that he may have their skins to sell to all those Drummers that shall have occasion to march before the saints to the Valley of Jehosaphat. That if Truth and Righteousness do ever kiss each other in England, he hopes, and it is his earnest desire that it may only be a parting kiss. Your Petitioner also further showeth, That it is not, norever was the custom of the Anabaptist, to give an account of their Faith, or to know what they profess, And therefore he he further showeth, That he holds that Feake is a very able Divine because he is mad, and hath a demoniac faculty of always raving against the Powers in being; So that when you see him in the Church, you would think him to be the mad man among the tombs. Here is only the difference between that man and your Petitioners Patriarch, that Christ dispossessed the former, but if he should offer the other such a courtesy, he would think himself wiser and more sanctified than his saviour, and scorn the motion. And from his Example your Petitioner further showeth, That if there be a factious, unsanctified, illiterate heretic in the world, he is one, and will so continue as long as he lives; unless your honours will give him a thousand pound a year to turn Christian.  
In Consideration of which Premises, your Petitioner humbly prays, That the Mystery of Jesuitism, and the Works of Ignatius Loyola may be read in Churches, in stead of what is now more commonly used, whereby the People may be instructed in all sorts of Knavery one towards another, and in all sorts of Rebellion and Disobedience to their Superiors.  
That the Commandments may be taken down from the end of the Chancel in every Church, and the Heads of the Cracovian Catechism placed in the room thereof, till the said Churches shall be pulled down.  
That as soon as may be all Churches in England may be pulled down, and the Materials thereof given to your Petitioner toward the Repair of his Windows, and setting up a New Sign; And that your Petitioner may be forced to give no further account of the Sums so gathered; Neither can this destruction be unlawful for that St. Paul being a leading Apostle, and his Church being fallen, all other Churches ought to be made to follow the Example of his.  
That all Schools and Universities be demolished, and their Revenues given to buy us more arms, in stead of those which were lately taken away, that we may be in a readiness when we shall be called forth to Butcher our Enemies.  
That all Divines and Learned men in England may be massacred, and thrown to the fowls of the Air, that we may be no more troubled with their Syllogisms, to the utter hindrance of all out important Designs; And that all Books may be burnt, except Nailors, Feaks, and Rogers' Works, and Larner's Hymns, wherein the Unity of Christ and his Church is most sweetly chanted forth, to the Tune of jockeys-march.  
That there may be a Free Toleration of Bawdy-houses, because your Petitioners house looks now so like one, the Windows being all broken; And that none but Anabaptists may go to them, for the Propogation of our weak Faction.  
That general Supplications may be made, for the Continuance of Satan's Reign a thousand years lunges then is set down in the Revelation.  
And lastly, That you would confer upon your Petitioner Six hundred pound per Annum, in stead of his Comptrollership which he hath now lost, to the great impoverishment of him and his family.  
And your Petitioner shall ever pray, &c.   

London, Printed by Hen, Mason, in the year of Restauration. 1660.