A BILL AND ANSWER, BETWIXT JACK CATCH Plaintiff, AND SLINGSBY BETHEL, & al. Defendants, Of the Year, 1681. Published for the Satisfaction of All True Lovers of Conscience and Equity.  

This may be Printed, Rich. Pocock, March 8. 168●/6.   
LONDON, Printed by J. B. for Joseph Hindmarsh at the Golden-Ball over against the Royal-exchange in Cornhill, 1686.   

A BILL and ANSWER, Betwixt Jack Catch Plaintiff, and Slingsby Bethel, & al. Defendants.  
Catch agt Bethel Bill in Equity.  
HUmbly Complaining, and with reason good,  
As will appear when he is understood.  
Your Orator, John Catch, St. Giles, Esquire,  
Comes with all due submission, to desire,  
That he of this High Court may Justly have  
Justice against an Old True Protestant Knave;  
(To wit,) 'gainst Bethelesky, who was late  
Controller of that strong and famous Gate  
That holds the Thiefs and Rebels of the Town,  
When caught, till sovereign Justice cuts them down.  
And being, as aforesaid, in that place,  
Preferred by Knaves and Fools: He tells his Case,  
In manner following: Worthy Friend and Brother,  
Says he (and so we still did call each other;)  
'Tis not unknown I am sure dear Jack, to you,  
What my New Office does oblige me to.  
'Tis true (my old acquaintance, Friend, and Brother)  
That I can Hang and Head, well as another:  
But having other business to dispatch,  
(And then he hugged me close) my Dearest Catch,  
I must if we agree, leave that affair  
To your wise management, your Art, and Care,  
I know y'are Active, Resolute, and Stout,  
And able as myself (I'm old) to do't  
And abler, for in truth, since 48.  
My loving friend, I never did the feat,  
To speak on, tho' a friend to the profession,  
And would again, upon the same occasion,  
Faithfully serve the People of the Nation.  
But to my great Content, dear Jack I see  
While you survive, there'l be no need of me,  
Thou art the Top of our Fraternity.  
Thus he cajoled your humble Orator,  
Who having Brandy ta'en too much, and Beer,  
Was soon prevailed upon with these fair words,  
To take the management of th'Ax and Cords:  
Which he performed for the Defendants Year,  
As to this Court he hopes to make appear,  
And That, he did it at so Cheap a rate,  
Had he been paid 'twould scarce have found him meat.  
Not then suspecting what would be the End on't,  
Nor could believe this Canting damned Defendant  
Had a design to Cheat, at least to differ  
With one of his Profession, and in Nature  
Not much unlike to him; but for all that,  
Your Orator can't get a single Groat,  
Although he hath performed every part  
Of his Agreement, yet to his grief of heart  
The just Reward of all his Care and pains  
Still in this Bethelesky's hands remains;  
And there for ever since denied, it must,  
Unless the Court shall force him to be Just.  
The Bargain being made only between  
Ourselves, and some good friends of his and mine,  
Who since that time are either Hanged, or gone,  
So that in truth your Orator has none  
To prove the Truth of the aforesaid matter,  
Or if he had, what would he be the better,  
Were they unhanged? and here, what signifies  
In this affair a thousand Witnesses;  
For he (may't please ye) 's Hand and Glove with one 
[Goodenough,]   
That Juries make for Country and for Town;  
By Nature bowed that he may ne'er look up,  
For in his leaden face, Gibbet, and Rope,  
In every meager line does plain appear  
His restless Eyes speak Jealousy and fear;  
A gate so out of mode, and mien so odd,  
He sins that dares believe him made by G.  
The Nauseous Spawn of a seditious breed  
A Sinner in his Father's reins and seed▪  
He first spoke Treason in his Mother's Arms,  
Adapted to all villainies and harms:  
Considering which, your Orator as well  
May expect Justice from a Court of Hell,  
Where Pluto and the damned perjured Furys,  
Are Righteous, to this wretched Rascals Juries;  
And you may please to know, both these Defendants  
Are Presbyters, and have been Independents:  
And any one of that profession may  
Plot and speak Treason, Take and never pay;  
Abuse the State, At Church and Churchmen rail,  
Protected by an Ignoramus Flail,  
'Gainst which, in Middlesex, there's no defence,  
There's nothing like a Juries Impudence,  
Prove all you can 'gainst Whig, what then comes on't?  
The Jury they return a Protestant:  
And the Debts paid, just so 'tis like to be,  
With your poor helpless Orator, if he  
In this high Court can have no Remedy;  
As in this Case (an't please ye) is plainly seen  
After your Orator had often been,  
As he well hoped, and was advised he might,  
With the old Hamburgher to ask his Right:  
We put him off still with one Trick or Fetch,  
But after all, see how this wicked Wretch,  
This lewd Defendant served him, Sans remorse,  
Avaunt he cried, go hang and take your Course.  
Sometimes pretending with Contempt and Scorn,  
He had a hangman been e'er I was born,  
And hoped he should be so when I was dead,  
And therefore of me had no use or need.  
When he well knoweth how we did agree,  
(As I before have said) for Salary.  
But these Reproaches made your Orator,  
(' Tho' poor enough) his angry heart to stir,  
And boldly said, he hoped that he might  
Find out a way to get his honest Right.  
Then Splay-foot spoke, I meant' other Defendant,  
And with a hanging look, Cried make an end on't;  
For (my old Friend Jack Catch) I here assure ye  
If you an Action bring, I'll bring a Jury.  
That Cut my very heart, 'twas then I knew  
I could have no Relief except from you.  
Your Orator then told them his sad State,  
That if He were not paid he could not eat.  
All's one the Rogues cried out, Sirrah avaunt,  
'Twas you that hanged our Friend the Protestant;  
You might have stayed at home, and not have gone  
To hang the honest Joiner at Oxon.  
Threatening sometimes how if I stayed they'd serve me,  
That is, lock me up in Prison, and then starve me,  
As they had served good men the year before  
I'th' Compter, it was then I slipped the door,  
For I well knew their malice to the poor.  
Possessed with such a fear I never since  
Durst (till before this Court) make my pretence;  
Knowing in truth no reasonable Cause  
To expect help in Middlesex by Laws:  
For these Defendants are those Wights so famous  
For Murdering Justice with an Ignoramus,  
'Gainst Fact proved ne'er so positive and well,  
On mighty Charles' side, and will they deal  
Better with me? tho' I believe it's true  
They love me much the better of the two.  
We're told yet that an Action must be laid,  
If it be brought where we the bargain made;  
Now forasmuch as these Defendants may  
By Answer, since there is no other way,  
Set forth the truth, if possible, of all  
The things before alleged, both great and small;  
First whether Old Hamburgh did not agree  
To pay your Orator a Salary;  
And he to have the Ancient Fee, and all  
The clothes the Malefactors died withal.  
And also whether he during the Year  
Aforesaid, did not oft receive and wear  
Much of the aforesaid clothes, and also sold  
Great quantities for Silver and for Gold,  
And how much he received for Goods so vended,  
In ready Coin, before his Year was ended,  
And in particular what part he wore  
Of the said Wares, and what he has in store,  
To line his Threadbare Cloak and Deck his Whore.  
And that the said Defendant may set forth,  
(He understands it well) what it was worth  
To be a hangman for a year and better,  
And whether he (Himself) knew any fitter  
Besides himself, than your Poor Orator may  
Show cause (if any) why he does not pay  
Your Orator the Sum agreed upon,  
And whether he a Bargain made or none.  
If there were no Agreement, then that he  
On fair Accounts may pay a Moiety  
Of the years' profits to your Orator,  
Which he believes but reasonable and fair:  
And hopes to th' Court it will appear to be,  
Duly Considered, but right Equity:  
Also that Ignoramus Minor th'other  
Defendant and the whiggish roguey brother  
Of Bethelesky may on Oath declare  
(It may be by a miracle he'll Swear)  
The truth of all the Matter that he knows  
Of the aforesaid bargain and the clothes.  
And also whether he did not intend  
(An Action being brought) for to befriend  
Th'other Defendant with a whiggish Jury;  
And whether once he did not in his fury  
Declare to that Effect, as he was sitting  
With Bethelesky in a Garret Eating  
Some bread and butter, which was short of weight  
Found in his time, and now his Worship's meat;  
And if he did not mean by such his doing  
To break your Orator's design of sueing;  
But, (may it please the Court) as People say  
This Betheleski means to steal away,  
And further 'tis reported, that he does  
(Your Orator comes lately by the News)  
For Poland mean to go, to Warsaw, where  
He's lately chosen Executioner:  
And does in speech give out he means to live,  
A hangman there, till the fools make him Shrieve;  
And this is like enough, for they have there  
A Common Council just as we have here:  
As wise as honest and as Loyal too,  
And what can't such a worthy Council do?  
Who knows but that he may as well arrive  
(Although a hangman) to be Warsaws Shrieve,  
As London's: London is as proud and great,  
As Warsaw, and yet they did once think fit  
To mount the Spark in Scarlet and yet ne'er  
Believed him worse, tho' Executioner  
Even to his Proper Master, but should he  
Get in this quality beyond the Sea  
He had as good go quite to Hell for me:  
For should your Orator send for his Debt  
To Warsaw, what could he e'er hope to get,  
From the Defendant Betheleski thence,  
But wicked words, or some as bad pretence?  
Your Orator's undo if he gets hence.  
Now to the end he may not leave the Kingdom,  
I humbly beg that a Ne Exeat regnum  
May Issue out to stay his Warsaws Journey,  
Where he may hang and head by his Attorney,  
Till this Cause heard, and matters be adjusted,  
For he deceives wherever he is trusted  
Also your Orator does humbly pray,  
That he may give security to pay  
The Cost and Charge that may attend the suit,  
Should he be hanged or broke ere the dispute  
Be over, for (may it please ye) in real truth  
There is a great suspicion of them both,  
And likewise that he may on no pretence  
Make use of Salamanca Evidence,  
Which will but give your Orator just occasion,  
To show great Cause against their Reputation,  
Only they're Members of a Popish Nation:  
Besides a thousand more that he could name  
Which he forbears to speak for fear of shame:  
In tender Contemplation of which  
Your Orator most humbly does beseech,  
That Process may 'gainst the Defendants both,  
Issue to call them in and take an Oath,  
And clear the Matter in the Bill in question  
Which won't be hard for men of their digestion.  
An Ignoramus Conscience puts off Oaths  
For profit, as a Whore puts off her clothes,  
Which gives your Orator great cause to fear,  
They will his Honest Equity Forswear:  
But since there is no other Lawful way,  
Let them appear, and at a certain day,  
Come, and be damned, and Swear their Souls away.  
And so unto this Court I now leave 'em,  
With full assurance I at last shall have them.  

ANSWER.  
THo' this Defendant is advised he might  
Justly demur to the Complainants right,  
Pretended by the Bill, and for this reason,  
Because it charges him with Conscious Treason;  
However that it plainly may appear,  
He this Defendents not afraid to Swear;  
Tho' he's afraid of neither Oath or Action,  
Yet merely for the Plaintiffs satisfaction,  
And his own Credit which he purely values,  
For Answer, this Defendant Swears as follows.  
'Tis true, that he was formerly a Tenant,  
To Joan Catch, Mother of the now Complainant,  
During which time the Plaintiff was Engendered,  
And by those very means came in the Kindred.  
After all which, he travelled, for good reasons  
To Hamborough upon his own Occasions;  
Where he Continued until 48.  
When he was sent for over by the State:  
And having with a Zeal Burning, and Hearty,  
Shown his Affection to the Godly-Party;  
For honest Cromwell's and the Arms Good,  
Taken a Mornings-Draught of the best Blood;  
And in a Vizard too, altho' for proof,  
His this Defendants face is well enough:  
And being paid for't, after this Dispatch,  
He went to Visit the Complainant Catch.  
His Mother being Hanged some time before,  
As this Defendant thinks 3 Months or more,  
He at the Parish-Charge was then maintained  
At the poor Cottage of a Pastry-friend,  
Of this Defendants, Ever True unto  
The Sire and Race of Reverend Doctor O.  
But this Defendant absolutely denies,  
That he at any time in any wise  
Did ever call him the Complainant Brother,  
Or that they ever so called one another:  
Tho' for good reason he has called him son,  
And then he owned him so, And thus begun:  
My dearest Child, my sweetest visaged Boy,  
Thy Mother's Comfort, and thy Father's Joy,  
I've killed the principal, the Chief, the best,  
And must leave thee to Execute the rest:  
Mistake me not, be sure you hang nor draw  
Not one of those that disobey the Law;  
Be sure you spare the honest Presbyters,  
But if you find the roguing Cavaliers,  
Or fellows who pretend to love the King,  
Give 'em no quarter (Jack) but let 'em swing.  
I must to Hamborough 'bout my own affairs,  
But if occasion happ's to go by th'Ears,  
I'll soon come over, fear it not my Child,  
And in a sort of Language, soft and mild,  
He this Defendant treated the Complainant,  
Not thinking then that he should hear again on't.  
Alas! alas! he did not dream or doubt it,  
He should be brought into a Suit about it:  
And this Defendant further saith, that after,  
As he had promised, so he went by water  
To Hamb'rough, there to scrape and get a Portion,  
Intended for the Plaintiff once, (that Whoreson)  
But now he finds him such a Reprobate,  
He ne'er shall have from him one single Groat.  
Tho' this Defendant doth Confess, it's true,  
The Plaintiff for some time (give him his due)  
Behaved himself indifferently so so,  
As this Defendant ordered him to do.  
But this Defendant afterwards beyond Sea,  
Having Intelligence that the Old Frenzy,  
Or fever of True-Protestant Sedition,  
Was raging ripe, thought he in that Condition  
I'll soon be w'ye, no sooner said then done,  
He came to blow the Coal and see his Son:  
The now Complainant (tho' 'tis even a Sin)  
That two such Rascals are so near akin)  
Where this Defendant finding Troy-novant,  
Did only his desired assistance want,  
And keeping people hot, just in the nick,  
He this Defendant got the Bayliwick▪  
And fold his under Bailiffs place to one  
Called Richard Rogue-enough, a man well known  
For Piety and Parts about the Town,  
named a Defendant also in the bill,  
Who in that Office had most wondrous Skill;  
And than it was that the Complainant came,  
And calling this Defendant by his name,  
Desired to drink a Cup of beer or two,  
At a by-Alehouse, which he was loath to do  
Until the Plaintiff showed his Coin, and said  
At his own Charge the Reckoning should be paid.  
Two Quarts of beer they had, and by good fortune  
There being some i'th' house, they had a Quartern  
Of Cool Nants Brandy, which is all they drunk,  
Tho' th' Plaintiff like the bastard of a Punk,  
Intimates by's Bill that he should make him  
Drink too much (if he did the Devil take him)  
'Twas then the Plaintiff thus bespoke him: Sir,  
I have been long the Executioner  
To this most famous City, and the Country  
Adjacent, how it lies still in your bounty  
So to Continue me, I'll do it Gràtis,  
At Common Price, and you know what the Rate is:  
The Periwigs, the Cloaks, the Hats, the Shoes  
Shall all be yours, Dear Father you shan't lose  
One Slipper of the Profits, pray be i'th' way  
I'll give a just Account each Hanging-day;  
Thus was this Poor Defendant wheedled on,  
By this his own Rebellious, Natural Son,  
Tho' that the Plaintiff was, he did not doubt  
As Honest as himself, or thereabout,  
Thus got he this Defendants free good will  
To have the Hangman's Place, (and keeps it still)  
Not by the means alleged in the Bill.  
And saith, the matter being thus dependent,  
Between the Plaintiff, and him this Defendant,  
He did expect the Plaintiff would have done  
All things on his part like an Honest Son,  
According to agreement, but instead  
Of doing so, the Plaintiff never did:  
Detaining several Goods, some of good price,  
And now has altered quite the properties,  
For which he hopes the Court will not withdraw  
His Hands, but he may take his Course at Law:  
And this Defendant further answering, saith,  
That Notwithstanding the Complainant hath  
So often promised ne'er to Execute  
Dissenting-Protestants, never to do't:  
Yet this Defendant to his Grief's assured  
The Plaintiff is quite fallen from his word.  
HE has hanged an honest joiner, for no reason,  
Only for speaking and for acting Treason.  
Nay more than that, as this Defendents told,  
The Plaintiff is become so very bold  
To threaten all the Jury (tho' they are  
Men of no Knowledge, and their Souls are rare  
And tender as a Chicken's, who can Cant,  
Distinguish 'twixt the League and Covenant,  
Betwixt a Christian, and a Protestant;  
Who call Church-Papists such as go to Church.  
If such good Godly men are left i'th' lurch  
And like to fall into the Plaintiffs Pitfall,  
They'd better sure by far have been beshit all;  
Which with the Plaintiffs threats made him to fly  
Not long ago to a Court of Equity,  
To Mr Dash.—  
There to bespeak of him a Supplicavit,  
Against the Plaintiff, and he hopes to have it,  
Going in fear of is life unless redressed,  
The Plaintiff being his enemy professed:  
And this Defendant holding up his hands  
Brimful of wonder, most amazed stands;  
Why the Complainant, and on what pretence  
Finds fault with Salamanca-Evidence,  
For that they were (as this is verity)  
Both bred together from their Infancy,  
As he hath in his Answer said before  
Upon the Doctor's Fathers Reverend Score:  
Till they're both Hanged, 'twill be a sad delay,  
Without that that that, Et caetera.  
J. B.  
FINIS.