The Famous HISTORY OF Auristella, Originally Written By Don Gonsalo de Cepedes.  
TOGETHER With the Pleasant STORY OF PAUL of Segovia, BY Don Francisco de Quevedo.  
Translated from the Spanish  
LONDON, Printed for Joseph Hindmarsh, Bookseller to his Royal Highness, at the Black Bull in Cornhill, 1683.   

To the Honourable Lady, Henrietta Grenvile.  
Madam,  
THIS little piece of the growth of Spain, was pleasing to me in the reading it; and having too much leisure now, I took the pains to make it speak English; and when I had done it, I had an inspired thought (on some previous Discourses of your Noble Family, and particularly of yourself) to present it to you; supposing as it could add little to your better diversions; yet at least it could take little from them; besides I had Precedents from others, who have done something of like nature, Dedicated to Persons of Quality to manifest their respects and service to them. Thus encouraged in this attempt by such examples, I durst publicly prefix your Ladyship, for such a Patroness so Honourable by Descent, and so famed for Ingenuity: For you Madam, to the invincible Courage and Conduct of your Heroic Ancestors (some whereof worthily knew how to make an Alliance between the Laurel and Olive, as a living Branch of their Illustrious Stem) have added to their Renown, that Sweetness, Beauty and Ingenuity, which eminently have influenced all who have had the honour to be well-acquainted with you, to esteem and review you for them. That singular Virtue you are Mistress of, obliges me among others to pay you this Homage, which I humbly supplicate you would vouchsafe to accept, as coming from a person that loves and honours you with all his heart; desiring that you would pardon my confidence in this Address, which sprang from the observation I have made and heard of your Goodness and excellent Merits; at least that you would be pleased to connive at my boldness to Dedicate this Trifle to kiss your hands; thereby imitating that Roman Emperor's meekness, who deigned to accept of a Cup of Water from a poor Woman that in humility presented it: I am loath to tyre you with reading of my zeal to serve you; (for I have not Rhetoric enough to express your Praises) and therefore I hasten to tell you, that I remain with a particular reverence, as being one who counts it his highest honour to publish himself.  
Madam, Your Ladyship's affectionate Kinsman, and most humble Servant, W. B.   

The Famous HISTORY OF Auristella.  
THE City of Sevill, the renowned and Opulent Emporium of all Spain, gave me Birth, to which my Father retired and settled ever since he had solemnised the Marriage with my Mother, whose Father was honourable and rich, and had left her at his Death a considerable Fortune, which he had acquired by the many important Employs in his Majesty's Service in that eminent Port, where they passed many years in Love and Splendour, until my unfortunate Self was born, being the last and only Surviving Offspring from their Marriage Bed. My Name Philander, so called in remembrance of my Mother's Father, whose Name was Philander de Taurello's—  
My Mother (whom I merited not to know) being dead through the unhappy Travil she suffered in bringing me into the world, I remained from my tender Infancy subject to such Incommodities, wherewith such are most commonly brought up with, who are deprived of their Maternal care and kindnesses; altho' that misfortune was in some measure repaid by the Education which I had in the Noble Family of Cosmos my Father. But the tender love which he had for my Mother, so much augmented that loss and his affliction, that he could receive no comfort, notwithstanding the assiduous Artifices of his best friends to effect it; insomuch, that this fatal Blow at once took from him all Joy, Health and Tranquillity of Mind, and made him a deplorable Picture of Tears and Grief. But at length, observing that the highest part of his misery was caused by continuing in that same place, where had passed his Youth in the enjoyment of his Dearest Spouse: he resolved and prepared to remove from all that did so continually torment his Memory; and to leave the Kingdom of Spain his once so beloved Country, selling some of his Estate which he converted into money, and leaving the rest towards the support and maintenance of me his Son: he embarked on a Man of War bound for Ostend in Flanders, whither in few days the favourable Winds brought him; but 'ere he went he committed me to the Conduct of one of my Uncles, who was his Brother. My Father's health was wholly restored him in that Foreign Country, where we heard he lived so content and honourable, that we lost all hopes of seeing him again; not doubting but that he would forget those regards which his proper Blood might almost challenge from him, by the increase of his Fortune and Honour, if Providence had not altered his design in the manner I am about to describe.  
A Gentleman of Quality of the Kingdom of Castille, a Native of the City of Toledo, whose Name was Lorenzo D'spado, having spent a considerable Fortune which he possessed, had reduced his honoorable Family to that extreme want, that it had scarcely wherewith to subsist: at length he resolved, (hoping to raise his Fortune in another Country, and to avoid the troublesome disgraces in his own) to take the same Voyage as my father did, leaving, however with many sentiments of sorrow the company of his dear Wife, and his beautiful young Daughter, whose name was Auristella, his chiefest Joy. Yet his Wives and her Tears and Sighs (which might have softened Marble) could not change his resolution; therefore they must submit to this Voyage and the loss of his company for the space of ten years, which he determined to stay from them.  
As he had but little of his Estate left, yet what remained he gave for the use of of his Wife and Daughter, and requested them to be advised in all their Affairs by his ancient and faithful servant Andreo Scordos, (a Biscaner by Birth) who was likewise his Kinsman, and one whom he loved as entirely as if he had been his son, and in whom he had great reason to confide, which was the greatest comfort he was able to frame to his discomposed thoughts in those great afflictions.  
His good Fortune or my unhappy Star rather, guided him (when landed in Flanders) to go to Brussels, having changed his name as is customary with the Spaniards, when they are in Foreign Lands; who also are wont to conceal their Qualities that they may be induced to seek a maintenance most profitable. He Arrived about the time my father's Lieutenant Colonel was slain, and my father being then at Brussels, and accidentally meeting Lorenzo D'spado, (who being educated together in their Youth at Salamanca) both were surprised to see each other; and after many generous and affectionate Congratulations, made friendly inquiries of each others condition; which being fully made known; my father, by the great interest his good fortunes had acquired him from the noble Governor of those Provinces, quickly got his favourable consent, that Lorenzo should be his Lieutenant Colonel, representing him to be of a noble Extraction, and one that was fitly qualified for such a Command. It so happened, that Lorenzo D'spado soon got great honour by his prudent Conduct, having also an Office conferred on him, by which he grew very rich in few years.  
But at length the Air of that Country not agreeing with his health, and above all desiring to return to his dear Country of Spain; he one day took an occasion to tell my father the resolution which he had taken. It is difficult to express the grief my father had in the fear to lose so gallant a Companion and ancient a friend, when he was informed of his intended return, therefore he made his chiefest prayers and applications to him, that he would not leave those parts, and conferred about the best ways and means to re-establish his health. Besides, he made use of many Artifices and plausible pretences whatever he could invent to alter his resolution, and persuade his stay; but all in vain, for Lorenzo, who could never appear insensible of the many graces he had received from the Governor, and other Nobles of that Country, as well as from my father, thought that it was now high time no longer to disguise the reasons that further obliged him to return, and for some time to quit his Employs. The most important were to see his dear Wife and Daughter, and to retrieve an ancient Estate, which had been mortgaged, and would be forfeited, and therefore it was fit to get that and other things settled to his liking, and for the good of his family; and when his health permitted he would again return to Flanders.  
Those reasons were so evident that my father had nothing to reply, which did not only satisfy, but also for a particular love to his company, made him himself to think of returning to; considering also, that in his heart the love for his own family and Country did not a little oblige him to do so, having now also got a fair Fortune to make him the more welcome.  
Thus concerting their interest, love to their Families, and the high esteem of each others Company, they both resolved to leave Flanders; which that they might do with all possible Honour and Respect, they both took leave of that Court, which did dispense with their just and important reasons for some time; so they both prepared together to ship at Ostend, from whence after a happy Navigation, they arrived at the famous Port of San Lucar, where all the Relations of my Father went to meet him, having received Letters of Advice by the Post to that purpose. But e'er they came to Land, my Father had entertained Lorenzo with his fervent Desires to comment their friendship, that it might be never altered; and just before they left the Ship, he took occasion to speak to him in these terms. I do not doubt (dear friend) but that you are satisfied of my Friendship, as I am assured of yours, therefore I much wish that our separation may not lessen it, and nothing in the World may be capable to destroy it. And to perpetuate it, I have meditated one expedient (if you please to approve it) that it may be eternal, which is to make an Alliance between us by the marriage of your Daughter to my Son, if it has pleased Heaven to let them live which we now at our landing shall quickly know) You see I communicate to you the inmost recesses of my Soul, and it will be your part now to let me frankly know your resolution herein. Lorenzo answered him with tears of joy, which evidenced the consent of his heart to his Proposals, and soon granted him his Daughter, which he demanded for me; protesting to him that he was master of his Life, Honour & of his good Fortune; and so they fell to embrace each other. That done, they both came on shore, where my Kindred and myself, who were all ready come to San Lucar, in expectation of him, saluted them with much joy; my Father having been wanting fourteen years, and I then but six when he quitted Spain and went for Flanders.  
My Father having taken solemn leave of Lorenzo, was impatient of all delays that might obstruct his seeing his ancient place of Residence; and we came to Sevill, to the unspeakable satisfaction of our Friends and Relations. My Father told me of the Marriage he had agreed on for me, which I disposed myself to obey with all Pleasure and Delight, and had prepared myself accordingly for my departure, to wait on the fair Auristella, my intended Wife. In few days after a Courier was sent from Lorenzo (as was agreed he should) to advertise that he was safely come to his own abode at Toledo. Who can imagine the mutual joys of his Wife, Daughter, and Friends, for his safe return; but surely mine were not less than theirs, especially since the Messenger had represented to me the incomparable Qualities and Virtues of Auristella; and that she was the most renowned Beauty of all Castille, which made me believe I should never soon enough see the hour of my departure for Toledo. He gave an account also, by his Letter, that he found to his extreme content, his Wife and Daughter in perfect health. He gave them also an account how he had spent his time, and what great Honours he had attained in his Travails, and of the Marriage that was concerted with my Father, which was received with the general applause of his Family, Kindred, and Friends, who were resolved to make honourable preparations for all things necessary for our Marriage. And now the time of my departure being come, I had my Father's Blessing, and went to take leave of one of my intimate & particular Friends, named Bennato, of whom I shall speak more in the pursuit of this Discourse, then taking Post, with some of my People, I arrived in four days at the renowned City of Toledo, and went straight to my Mistress' Father's House; I had no sooner quitted my Stirrup, but instead of finding all the Joy and Welcome I expected, I saw nothing but an extreme confusion, and abundance of Tears, Sadness and Grief, which infinitely surprised me, although I were received with many marks of satisfaction, my presence seeming an evident Consolation to that afflicted Family, from whom I was immediately informed; (showing me the Body of Andres their ancient Domestic servant the Biscaner (whom I before mentioned) which was extended on a black Cloth, pierced with five cruel Wounds; which Body was found near the Gate of their House that very morning, wrapped up in bloody Linen, without knowing or imagining who how or when it was put into that deplorable state, although they used all possible diligence to discover the Author of his Death: They related to me the friendship that Lorenzo had for him, the confidence he had in him, the good service he had done, and particularly during his absence; that I could not condemn the resentments of his unfortunate End, nor the strange reception I found. This occasioned hour the delay of our Marriage for two days, which seemed so many long years; for having seen the fair Auristella, and enjoyed her lovely society, my desires were inflamed with greater violence.  
At last, the happy day was come, and the night so mutually desired; But alas! no sooner was I fallen asleep, but the hands and cries of Auristella awakened me in a strange affright, loudly called me to the assistance of her Father's House, which at the same time was consuming by dreadful flames: I hastily put on my Gown, and immediately ran from my Apartment, being lighted by the sparkling Flames that this pitiless Element sent upwards to its Sphere; then running to the place where they appeared most violent, I met Lorenzo, his Wife and others of the Family; and in a moment (the Bell giving the occustomed Signal) all the Neighbourhood being alarmed, came and used all possible diligence to put some stop to the force of the Fire. All the House being filled with noises and cries, in that confusion I saw and heard my Auristella, my greatest and chiefest care in this misfortune was for her, to whom I came, being called by the sad Echoes of her Sighs; I found her in a Swoon, between the arms of her loving Mother near to a deep Well, where all the servants were, which redoubled my afflictions, when they told me that the cause of that mortal Aecident was no less dolorous than the death of the miserable Biscaner; and that a young Damosel, named Mariana, servant to Auristella (employing herself among the rest to draw water out of the Well to give it to others to quench the Fire) was fallen into it in the sight of her Mistress, and was therein drowned before she could be taken up, but when with much ado she was taken out, it did so much augment the Tears of the Mother and Daughter, who loved her dearly, having bred her in their service from her Childhood, that nothing was able to comfort them; and I could add less consolation to them than others in the pitiful Estate which these sad adventures had reduced me to.  
In fiine, Time which is a Grand Master, healed all these troubles though they still seemed present to my remembrance as sad Auguries and unhappy Presages of our Marriage.  
Having passed some months at Toledo, I received Letters from my Father to require my return, and Auristella took leave of her Parents. (which was not performed without many Tears) We set forwards, and Bennato with us, who returned from the Court to Sevill, from whence he went about the same time as I did; he came very opportunely, and was so kind as to keep us company, by which means our Journey seemed very agreeable. At length we came to my Father's House, where we were expected with much impatience, by whom and our Kindred we were received with many marks of the greatest welcome, which much contributed to moderate the griefs which Auristella by being now removed from her own Parents. We had convenient Lodgings assigned us, where we were daily visited by my dear Friend Bennato: I lived so contented a life with my dear Auristella, that I could hardly consent to be one moment from her; but the Fates envying my Repose, permitted me not longer to enjoy the pleasures which I had done above four years past. The friendship which was contracted between Bennato and myself was so great, that seldom a day passed without an interview; he coming to me or I to him, and we lived with such conformity as if we had lain in the same Belly, and been nourished with the same Blood. But one day that Bennato could not meet me, nor I him, (being as it were jealous of each other, attributing it to some neglect) which would at the same time give some marks of our careful respect; and seeing it was late, I resolved to wait for him at his Lodging, and he at the same time came to mine, with design not to stir from thence till I returned.  
Auristella, who was indisposed, kept her Bed, near whom Bennato stayed expecting my return, whilst I weary with expectation of him, at length came home, remitting my Visit to some other time: But finding the Door shut, (which was never done when I was abroad) I knocked several times  it was opened. I must protest that this gave me some slight suspicion; I drew near to a little Cranny, which appeared through the ill-joyned Board's, to see or hear what passed in the House; would Heaven had rather made me blind than permitted me to have had such a Curiosity! I saw a Slave descending, carrying a man on his shoulders towards the Garden-door, where leaving him, he came and opened that at which I stood. One may judge of the trouble and alteration that this sight gave me: I no sooner entered, but I ran to the Garden, where I perceived a man to hid himself among the Myrtles, which more than my Transport was the cause of his Death. For being not well able to put himself in a posture of Defence, nor disengage himself from the Branches of the Trees; I with my drawn Sword gave him three thrusts through the Body,  I could (through excess of my blind passion) observe that he called me by my name, or tell me who he was. At length falling at my feet, I observed it was my intimate and faithful Bennato, whom I had treated with this inhuman severity. I was so surprised, that I remained dying as he, who with a feeble voice requested me to cause a Confessor to come unto him. I had lost all sense knowing the Crime I had committed, and could not but with some pain hearken to his last words, which proved his Innocence and my Injustice. My dear Philander, (said he) is it possible that Heaven should consent, that the Sword of my best Friend should give my mortal Wound?  
In what has your Bennato offended, that you with so much cruelty should resolve to avenge yourself? But I wrongfully complain against you; I forgive you my Death, it was a scruple ill-grounded that I had, that being alone near Auristella, (and your Door being shut) you might not suspect her hnour or my fidelity, which I call Heaven to Witness, has always been for you inviolable— Death gave him no more time, but shut his Eyes; he yielded up his Soul within my arms. I know not how, that mine took not the same way, being so oppressed with Grief and Repentance. I was at length constrained to quit this unfortunate Corpse, and went to Auristellas' Apartment, where I found her not, nor in all the House, through which I heard nothing but the cries of her Maids, who were seeking their Mistress, when suddenly one of them told me she had cast herself (in her Shift) out of the window into the street, having been informed of the death of innocent Bennato, fearing that in my furious indignation, I might not give her time to justify herself. That same Maid related also to me, how Auristella had obliged him to do what he did, because that hearing of the knocks I gave at the Gate (which one of my people had shut unawares) she apprehended that I would enter into some just suspicion of her. Ah! dear Bennato, said she, wherefore did your prudence permit itself to be governed by the ill grounded fears of a Woman? I was a thousand times about to take vengeance on myself, of the tragical end of my friend, but Heaven thought it not fit, that it might reserve me for something more cruel.  
I could not yet have any news of Auristella, whom I sought in vain, therefore I concluded 'twas best for me to hid myself; so leaving the House in that confusion, (as cannot easily be imagined) I went to the Convent of the Carthusian Fathers, who received me with all possible humanity, and secured my unhappy Life, which has been destined to infinite troubles, a thousand times worse than death itself; I was privately visited by my particular friends, who took all imaginable pains to represent my innocence, and procure my pardon.  
Auristella was retired to a Nunnery, as soon as she recovered her fall into the street, which was not without much hurt, and with some difficulty first got, as well as she could, to a House which she saw open, and there discovered to the master what she was, who charitably received her. But the next morning they were informed with what diligence the Officers of Justice searched after her and me, and therefore they thought it convenient to lead her to a Nunnery. I had notice thereof all most as soon as it was done, which gave me as much comfort as I was capable to receive, but Heaven would not that I should long have it, and I was but at the beginning of my miseries.  
All these mortal discontents so strongly seized on Auristellas' heart (together, with the dismal bruises she received by her fall) that she fell into a great sickness, her memory perpetually tormenting her, with the consideration to find herself exposed to the evil tongues of the people, guessing at what risk her Honour and Reputation was subjected; so that in few days there was a period put to her unhappy Life. But first she applied herself to the superior of that Nunnery, to whom she gave sealed, written with her own hand, and requested that it might be instantly delivered unto me; I received it about the same time as I heard of the deplorable news of her death. Nothing is capable to express the griefs of my Soul, the alination of its Faculties, and the subversion of my Senses: I was a long time (as it were) hover betwixt death and life, which was protracted only to bring eternal afflictions on me. And to conclude this mournful Discourse, behold what remains to be further known in the proper terms of the Letter to me.  
Auristella to Philander.  
THE Day is come (my Dear Philander) on which I must pay to Death an inevitable Debt: 'Tis an execution of that rigour, which no person can be exempted from. Although I have resentments of all that humane weakness can on such occasions produce; he who stands ready to be my Judge, truly knows that the greatest torment which I suffer, is to be separated from your amiable Company; and my chiefest sadness, is not able once more to see you, to bid you farewel, to clear up your suspicions, and to assure you of my fidelity; which has been inviolable, ever since the happy day of our Marriage, to the last moment of my Life. And since I am come to the time to speak the truth which relates to the Eternal Salvation of my Soul. It is but just dear Philander, that you be informed as well as the whole world, of a Secret which I have so long concealed to the prejudice of my Conscience. Read carefully this Letter, and you will pardon my offence, (if it be true that it was done against your Honour) to have done a thing which was executed against my consent, against my will, and before we were married. I persuade myself that you will do Justice to my Innocence, that my Reputation be not stained either before you, or before those who shall have notice of my misfortune.  
I doubt not but you still remember the unhappiness which so much afflicted our Family on the day you came to Toledo, which possibly might prognosticate the present disgraces. You may call to mind also the diligence which was used to find the Assassinate of our Andreo the Biscaner, which then proved unsuccessful; and still might be so to the Day of the last Judgement, if this which is my last did not oblige me to declare, and protest that my unhappy Self was his Murderess; his infamous Treachery will I hope obtain my pardon at the Sovereign Tribunal, next to my extreme and hearty repentance for my sins. Know then dear Philander, that no sooner had the Biscaner been informed of my Fathers Return; and that our Marriage was concluded on, but he fell sick of a Fever, which in the beginning seemed very dangerous: my Parents who loved him as their own Child, procured the most renowned Physicians of the City to attend him, who could find no remedy that could relieve him, and said his Malady proceeded from an excess of Melancholy, which made our whole Family very mournful for him. The Night before you came thither, he made me know (to my utter ruin) what it was that reduced him to that miserable condition—  
It was about Midnight (yet I was not asleep) that I heard some walking in my Chamber, where to my sorrow I was that Night without a Bed-fellow, and opening the Curtains of my Bed, I saw our sick Biscaner appear, whom I supposed to have some Delirium by the excess of his Fever: and I not seeming to be angry for his audacious coming into my Chamber (and so late at night when I was laid in Bed) spoke to him in as affable a manner as if I had been his Sister, and far (Heaven knows) from suspecting any ill design against me. But he with a profound sigh, looking on me with a furious eye, spoke to me in these Terms—  
It is most certain Auristella, that the grief I feel can have no remedy but from your hands, in which is my Life: You have obligations enough which I hope will deter you from being ungrateful to me for the good offices and services I have rendered you, and in a time too, when your cruel Father treated me with so much rigour. I waited not for a requital of the pains I took in your Education, nor of that which I suffered in his absence, towards the subsistence of his Family, with honour; all which I did with a kind of delight and satisfaction; in hopes nevertheless of some acknowledgement; at least to have granted me to pass my remaining days in the beloved Company of the fair Auristella, which Joy I am about to be deprived of with so much Injustice. This therefore is my greatest Malady, which increases in proportion to the approaching time, to see you in the power of another: Wherefore I come resolved, not to leave your Chamber without the recovery of my health, & assurance that you shall be mine: If I lose my Life, let me be your Husband first, for just Heaven has reserved that Honour and good Fortune for me alone. I expect no other answer from you, but the giving me your hand: You cannot defer it, nor do I fear you are able to find the means to avoid it, since the accomplishment of my desires is now in my power; for I will deprive you of Life with this Poniard in the same instant, that you shall make the least resistance to give me satisfaction. So he took his Poniard from his Cincture, which he presented to my Throat▪ which so much affrighted me, that it was a long time  my Tongue could pronounce any thing; sometimes considering the peril of my Honour, and then I was surprised with excess of fear of my death, which is natural to our Sex; which made me thoughtful either to avoid my Death, or put my Chastity out of danger. To divert his resolution without reproaching his Treachery, I endeavoured to sweeten him by the tenderest Words could utter, and promised him with a thousand Oaths I would be his Wife; and believing that he would at present content himself by my permitting him my hand (as he at first demanded) I gave it him, but he no sooner had it,  I found myself drawn into his arms, and my strength failing me in the affright I was in, I could not prevent his disposal of me as he pleased: But just Heaven (to which all the complaints of my afflicted Soul ascended) did not permit the chastisement which this offence and Treachery merited to be long deferred, for he received it from my own hands with his own proper Poniard. The resentment of my shame animating my weakness with an undaunted courage. As soon as I found him fast asleep I took my revenge, and seizing of that fatal Weapon which before had overawed me— I thrust it through his heart, and by many other stabs, which I redoubled, I made a large gap for his perfidious Soul to pass; and without being heard, I wrapped his miserable Corpse in my sheets drenched in his own Blood, and dragged it out, and left it near to our House. This was not the end of my disgraces, for when I saw you come they did afresh renew; and if I had not been prevented by the fears of punishment in another world, I had made the same Sacrifice of my own life; because I was afraid, and did believe I could never hid my infamy from you. But in this desperate imagination, I found some comfort in thinking that Mariana might be now very useful to me, who having been bred up with me from her Infancy, bore part in my most secret thoughts and actions; & yet I knew not how to declare to her what was come to pass, till the fatal Melancholy into which I was plunged, and in a time when I should show the greatest joy, gave her the first occasion to ask who did conjure me, with much earnestness, to let her know the true cause of it, so that I saw myself obliged to tell her all without disguising the least particular, and being not able, but by her means to find any remedy for my affliction; I put my life and honour into her hands, and after I had importuned her by all that I found the most powerful and sacred to persuade her; (as much as my necessity and the time would permit) I made her at length to condescend to my request, which was to put herself in my place on my Wedding-night, being certain of her honesty and virtue: I believed, I might by that deceit prevent the suspicion which you must perceive by me, and I forbear to apprehend—  
Mariana with great persuasions, and not without much difficulty, consented, not only for the loss of what she held the dearest thing in the World, but for the uncertainty of success in this subtle Affair. But at last she resolved to extricate me from the Labyrinth I was in, and put off all other considerations; which did succeed as I hoped it would; for as soon as you came to Bed, and the Lights with-drawn, I desired you to permit me to make a prayer before an Image in my Chamber, to perform a vow I had made. I arose, and Mariana, whom I had concealed, was ready, and easily took fit time to put herself in my place. But after some time, seeing she (contrary to the orders I gave) remained with you, I suspected she was well pleased to stay in your Arms, or else she might also fall asleep; and hearing that the clock struck three, I began to conclude I was in extreme peril, considering that it was impossible to awake her & you not perceive me. When taking counsel from my jealousy, I descended softly into the Hall, where I put as many combustible things as I could find, and placed them next the Tapestry, and with a Candle put all in a flame, and quickly returned to your Chamber, assuring myself that the confusion which this accident would put you in, would not permit you to make any reflection or nice remembrances, and that hearing my voice, you would immediately go to the assistance of the House, which accordingly you did, and so you left me alone with Mariana, so transported with anger against her, for the too long time she stayed with you, for the disorder which she was the cause of, and the loss which must necessary follow; that I was almost resolved to thrust her through the Body with your Sword. To these considerations, I joined such as might succeed, apprehending the consequence of what had passed between you and her, at least to find myself a continual slave to the faith and inconstancy of a maid, which necessity alone had subjected to my service: In fine, I went down with her to the Well, where our servants were busy to draw Water, and whilst they went and came, I believing I had an happy opportunity to disentangle myself from the confusion I was in, I commanded her to draw some Water also, and observing carefully, that none perceived me, I with much ease pushed her into the Well, where leaving her some time struggling with her last Agony, and supposing her to be certainly drowned, dissembling my ingratitude and cruelty, I made loud Outcries, and shed a Torrent of Tears (so well feigned) that you as well as the rest of the Family believed that no one could be more afflicted than I appear to be.  
That horrible offence, and this abominable sin, wherewith I have so highly offended Heaven, have drawn down all the miseries and just punishments of your unhappy Auristlla, who still loved and respected you with all imaginable fidelity and constancy, of which Truth both Heaven and Earth are Witnesses.  
Thus my dear Philander, I request of you (as the last Grace you can confer on me) to believe that your Reputation was never blasted by any deportment of mine. I could have concealed what I now inform you of, but I would that by the sincerity of this Declaration you may the better judge of my Words, which is all the consolation that remains in my afflicted heart; and I recommend to you to do such things as a Zeal so Christianlike, as yours will both prompt and oblige you to, but more particularly that you would make satisfaction (as much as is possible for you to do) for those two cruel Murders, which is the only thing that does and aught to torment me in this World.  
Auristella died the same day, and I immediately left Sevill, hoping that Heaven would be so propitious to take me out of this Land of the Living, where now I writ this Tragical History, that I may be soon rejoined to my amiable and faithful, though unhappy Auristella.   

The Pleasant Story of the Life of PAUL of Sigovia.  
I am of Sigovia, my Father's Name is Clement Paul, a Native of the City; (Heaven take his Soul) to speak the truth, he was by Trade a Barber; he married Aldonce Saturna of Revola who had the reputation not to be the best Christian of that Country; and there might be made very pleasant Remarks on both their Lives, for he passed for a dextrous Thief, and she for the most expert person of the Kingdom in the Traffic of Maidenheads; the breach whereof she would so well repair, that they seemed better than whole-new; but I will not so much enlarge on the Subject of their many famous Exploits, that I may the sooner give you a particular account of my own.  
I was early put to School, where I contracted friendship with the son of Don Alonso Coronello, a person of Quality, which served me not a little to parry against the subtle calumnies which the Scholars made at me; some calling me Don of the Lance, and others Don of the Wind; in fine, I was their Butt at which they shot a thousand raileries of this nature, and I had not wit enough to repel them, as you may judge by a simplicity I am to relate to you. One day as I was walking the Street with my friend Don Diego Coronello, we met a man named Pontius Daguira, a man of public employ; Don Diego bid me call him Pontius Pilate, which to divert him I did, but the man became so fiercely angry, that drawing his Knife pursued me to my Master's House, where I saved myself, but to appease him, my master lustily whipped me, ask at every lash he gave me, will you sirrah say Pontius Pilate again? you may believe I promised I would not. This made so dreadful an impression on my spirits, that the day following, I being called to say my Prayers, instead of saying (as in the Creed) he suffered under Pontius Pilate, I said he suffered under Pontius Daguira: Judge you now if this simplicity made them not to laugh enough at me?  
It happened not long after (the Time of Carnival) a King of the Scholars was to be made; (a pleasant custom in those Parts) and the Lot fell on me, and therefore I requested my Parents to send me a proportionable Equipage for my new Dignity. The day being come for our public Parade, I appeared mounted on a Horse, who through his very weakness rather than civility, so walked as if he was making reverence; he had his Flank like a Monkey, and a swelling like a Camel, being blind and without a Tail; in fine, moving from one side to another, with the gravity of a Pharisee, and my companions walking on foot near me, we came to the Marketplace amongst the Fruiterers, my Horse being almost famished, greedily seized on a Cabbage, and almost made but one swallow of it: The accursed Fruiterer (to whom it appertained) began with full-mouth to rail at us, and in an instant the rest being alarmed, pelted us with Stones, Pears, Turnips and a thousand other parts of Trash were hurled at the poor King; I would have quitted my Horse (judging that this Combat would be best determined afoot) but my Horse receving a cruel blow made him reel into a Jakes, into which we both fell; my Comrades in the mean time with stones repulsed the Fruiterers, and wounded two of them in the head; at length the Officers of Justice came and seized some of them and some of the Scholars, and disarmed them, for they had Swords and Poniards as the King's Guards. I now was got up again out of the filth in a stinking posture, as you may imagine, and I threw into a House my Arms, my Hat and my Mantle to have them washed. Then an Officer of Justice loudly cried, deliver your Arms, I replied I had none offensive but only against the Nose. He would carry me to Prison, but knowing not what part to take me, he was constrained to let me alone; I returned to Don Alonso Coronello with his Son, who was preserved in the Battle: His Father soon after that took a resolution to place his son Pensioner, with a Graduate named Cabra, who in his House had the Tuition of some young Gentlemen of Quality, and got my Parents to consent that I should be his servant.  
We were Listed the first Sunday after Easter, under the power of a Living Famine. The said Signior Cabra had nothing great but Stature; he had a very little head, covered with red hair; and it is sufficient to say according to the Proverb, no good Cats or Dogs that are red; his eyes were sunk into the hindermost part of his head, insomuch that he seemed to look through a Trunk; his Nose half eaten by Scurf, which came not to pass through Debauchery because that would cost money: His Mustachios were thick about his mouth, which seemed to have a desire to devour them, so famished it did appear: He had several Teeth wanting, which doubtless he had caused to be drawn to set to adorn the Bell of an itinerant Tooth-drawer: His Throat was as long as an Austritchs; the Apple whereof seemed so large as if necessity had forced it out to see for Victuals; his Arms dry; his Hands as shriuled Loppings of Vines, viewing him from the Wast downwards: He seemed like a Fork or Compass, so long and maugre did his Thighs appear when he moved; His Bones resounded like the Ivory Clickets of a Leopard, which they use to give People notice to avoid them; His Tongue was stammering; his Voice whining; his Beard long, which was never shaved to save charges, saying he had so much repugnance that a Barber's hand should touch his Face that he had rather die than be shaved: He wore in Summer a Bonnet which was nibbled by Mice, which heretofore might be Cloth, and was lined with the sweaty Greece which fell from his Head: many People said that his Vest was miraculous, because one could not divine what colour it had; some seeing it so bear, said it was made of Frogs skins; others said it was an illusion which near hand seemed black, and at a distance blue; it was never girt about him; and he had no Cuffs or Band: His long Hair that covered his Vest (as narrow and short as it was) made him look like a true Lackey of Death; in his miserable Chamber he conjured the Rats, for fear they should eat his old Rags; His Bed was on the Ground on which he lay on the brink of it, that he might not wear out his Bed-cloths; In fine, one may call him the Prototype of Poverty and Misery.  
Don Diego and I were delivered into the hands of this Phantosm, who appointed a Chamber: The time of Dinner being come, the Gentlemen set themselves at a Table, in a place no larger than the half of a Bushel, which served as a Refectory: I soon observed that there were no Cats; an old Domestic (whose leanness manifested that he was a Retainer to this Inn) perceiving that I seemed astonished, said to me (half weeping) who told you that Cats are friends to Fast and Penances? I perceive you are but a Novice here: This I protest began much to afflict me, and much the more when I certainly perceived, that such as had for some time been in this House had Complexions which looked as if daubed with Diachilon.  
The Signior Cabra placed himself at the Table, and gave the Benediction, after which an eternal Meal was made, which had neither beginning nor end.— There was brought us in Wooden Ladles a Broth so clear, that if Narcissus had taken it, he might have been in more danger than at the Fountain. I considered what pains the poor fingers took in swimming in it, and to dive to pull up from the bottom of the Ladle one Orphelim or only Pease; at each gulf which Cabra swallowed; Ah! (said he) It's sure enough that there is nothing better than the sup, let People say what they will, all the rest is but superfluity and Gormandise; and when he had ended, 'tis this said he that gives Health, and sharpens the Wit; the Devil take thee (said I to myself) and then I beheld a Boy come in (whom I took for a half Ghost, so lean and unflesht he was) carrying a Dish in, which was a morsel of meat, which looked as if it had been cut from his Carcase, with a few Turnips about it; Cabra cries out in seeing it, How! how! here are Turnips? I swear nothing in the World can compare with this Cheer; eat my Lads, I am much pleased when I see you eat well, than he gave to each of them so great a part, that their Nails and Teeth had prepossessed it, and none left for their longing Stomaches: O admirable entertainment for people half dead with hunger: Thus was the worthy Repast ended, of which there remaining a little skin and a few Bones; here said Cabra (very gravely) preserve the rest for the servants, they must eat too as well as their masters, we will not have all for ourselves. May the Devil confound thee with all thou hast eaten said I, thou who makest so cruel Threats to my Bowels: After Grace he said to his Pensioners, go and divert yourselves in the Walk, and use some exercise till two a Clock, that what you have eaten may not make you sick; at which I could not forbear to laugh, which obliged him to give me a sharp reprimand, to which he added four or five old Sentences; then we sat ourselves at Table, and I seeing the miserable report, against which my Belly demanded Justice; but being lately better fed, and stronger than the others, I pulled the Dish to me, which all had seized on, and of three morsels I swallowed two, which made them grumble; and Cabra entering at the noise was made; how now, said he, ate as brethren, since Heaven gives you enough, do not quarrel; is there not sufficient for all of you? I swear, to ye that there was one of us, who was a Jasconer, that had so utterly forgot how and through what one eats, who holding a little morsel of Skin, that fell to his share, put it twice to his Eyes and Hands, the third time had much ado to conduct it to his Mouth: Then I took a pot full of Water to drink, but scarcely had I put it to my Lips, but the half Ghost Boy (I spoke of) took it from me, and made it pass from hand to hand, as delicately as one takes the Wine after the Communion. I than arose with much grief, to find myself in such a place, where one drinks to the health of the Bowels, altho' nothing can come to them to do reason for it. Although I had not eaten, I took a fancy to uneat (that is to say, to do my necessities) and asked of an ancient Guest, where the convenient place was, he replied, he believed there was none, and that for one only time that this might happen, whilst I stayed here, I might make use of any Post I pleased; and that he himself had had no need these two months, from the day he first entered, and then he did (as well as I perhaps) only imply what he had received the Eve before. O how could I express my sorrow! It was so great, that considering the little that should for the future come into my Body, I durst never let any thing out, what desire soever I should have.  
Don Diego asked me what he should say to his Bowels, to persuade them that he had eaten, which most assuredly would not believe him. The ills that Inanition causes, were more frequent in this House than those which too much repletion causes in another. But now 'twas Suppertime; there was served up a little of the Master's Name which is Goat Roasted. Did the Devil ever invent such a Ragoust? He told us that nothing was more wholesome or profitable, than to eat little at supper, and cited a million of Aphorisms of hellish Physicians, which proved that slender diet hindered vain and false dreams— Can one make falser at his house than to dream that one had eaten? They supped and were sapped, and yet did not sup. Well we went to bed, and neither was it possible for Don Diego or me, to sleep one wink the whole night long, but spent the time in contriving fit means to complain to his Father, and I counselled him with much earnestness so to do, to which in time he did. But sir, are you very assured, said I, that we are living? Have we not been killed in the Combat that happened between the Fruiterers and us? Are we not Souls condemned to the pains of Purgatory? If it be so, 'tis a raillery to believe that your Father can clear us from hence; this cannot be done, if some charitable persons do not recite for us extraordianary Prayers of Jubilee, and cause Masses to be said for us on some privileged Altar. With these entertainments, and a little time that we nodded, it was morning and time for us to rise. At six a clock the Signior Cabra called us for to say our Lessons— Fear had made me leaner in one day than others in fifteen, My Shoulders and my Stomach did already swim in my Doublet; my Legs had need of seven pair of Stockings; my Teeth were become of an Orange colour (the true colour of despair) He made me read the first Lesson to the others, and my hunger was so great, that I broke my Fast in eating half of the words. All this may be easily believed by him who shall know what his Man told me, that he had seen two fat pad Nags put to him to keep, which three days after were become so lank, that they might as 'twere, fly through the Air: Also two fat Mastiff-dogs, that within a day's space, went out more slender than Greyhounds. He did assure me that all this was true and, I; who began to be acquainted with the Inn, did easily believe it.  
Cabra at length heard that there were many murmurrings in the City against him, for the bad cheer he made us, resolved it should be better, and to that end he got a Box made of Tin, full of holes, in which he put a little Bacon, and having fastened a little string to it, he let it hang a little while in the Pot, but finding that it was too expensive, he believed it to be sufficient only to show it the Bacon without putting it in.  
Don Diego and I being not able longer to support our hunger, which had afflicted us for a month, feigned ourselves sick, not of a Fever, for it might be easily observed we had none; and to complain of headaches, or Aches of the Teeth, that was not sufficient to get us more meat. At length we concluded to say, that we had great griings in our Guts, for having not been at stool in a long time; hoping that for saving of six pence, to provide us remedy, he would rather be prevailed with to send us to Don Diego's Father's House, but the Devil ordered it otherwise, for Cabra had inherited a Receipt from his Father, who was an Apothecary, and so sent for an old Hag of seventy years old (who was his Aunt) who served him as a Nursekeeper, whom he ordered to prepare each of us a Clyster; they began with Don Diego, who could not resist them, and the old Nurse, instead of putting it into his Body, pushed it between his Skin and the Chine of his Back, and spouted it up to the Nape of his Neck, in as much as that which should have served him for inward Furniture, served to garnish him without, which made the poor Lad to cry for help, but Cabra coming in bid her give the other Clyster to me, and then they would prepare another for Don Diego. I had put on my Clothes (purposely to avoid it) but that would not serve my turn, for Cabra himself with a Crew, he had got hold on me in such manner as I could not stir; and the Nurse gave it me with as much dispatch as she could, but I presented a good part to her Nose before she had leisure to get out of the way: The Master thereupon fell into a rage against me, and threatened to put me out of doors, but it was not my good fortune to be so used.  
We made our complaints to Don Diego's Father, but Cabra sent him word it was only because we would not study, so that all we could do or say proved unsuccessful.  
He made his old Aunt the Governess of the Family, and to dress our provision for us, and to serve his Pensioners; and turned away his man, because on a Friday he perceived some few Crumbs of Bred to be on his Clothes; Heaven knows what we suffered under this damned Hag. She was exceeding deaf, and blind, moreover she was so great a mutterer of Pater Nosters, that one day the string of her Beds being broke they fell into the Pot, which made her serve us with the devoutest sop that ever I eat in my life, some said look here what black Pease we have, without doubt they are Ethiopian Pease: Our master was the first who tasted, and having got one of them into his mouth, and biting it broke one of his Teeth; she would ordinarily put the Fire-pan into the Pot instead of the Ladle: I commonly found hairs, little sticks and rolls of flocks that she used to spin, which I fancied she put in on purpose to cram our Bellies the more.  
All these miseries we endured until the Lent following, the beginning whereof one of the Pensioners fell sick; Cabra to avoid expense, delayed sending for a Physician, till the poor Patient had need of, and requested, a Confessor, at length he had procured a Mountebank to come, who feeling his Pulse, said that Famine had by little and little killed the young man; they brought him the Holy Sacrament, and when he saw it (he who had not spoke in a whole day's time) said, my Lord and Saviour, it was necessary that I saw you enter into this House for to convince me that it was not Hell; and after the receiving it he died, and was poorly buried because he was a stranger, which grieved us exceedingly. The Rumour of this pitiful Death spread through the City, and came to the Ears of Don Alonso, who having no other Child but Don Diego, he became disabused of the Cruelties of Cabra, and gave credit to two shadows; (for we were reduced to that Estate) and quickly came to take us from this detestable Inn, where although he saw us before his eyes yet asked of us (our selves) where we were; but when he came to the perfect knowledge of us, he treated the Graduate Cabra in very foul terms; then he got us carried from thence in a Chair, and our miserable companions followed us with their eyes, with the same sentiments as the Slaves at Algire do, when they see the departure of such as are Redeemed: Being arrived at Don Alonso 's House, they put us very gingerly into Bed lest our Bones should get out of their places and fall on the Ground: Spies were sent for to pry into what part of our Faces our Eyes were hid: And as my sufferings had been greatest, and my hunger imperial; (for I was always treated as a servant) it was a long time  they could find my Eyes. Physicians were speedily sent for, who straight ordered that the dust on our mouths should be brushed off with a Fox's Tail, as is usually done from Pictures; then they directed to give us some substance, especially good Jellies. It is impossible to tell the illuminations of Joy that our Bowels received on the first Nourishment which we took. They forbade chief, that during nine days any one should speak aloud in our Chamber, because our stomaches being hollow every word made an Echo; With these and some other precautions, we began to amend, and to recover a little motion; but they had much ado to make us open our Jaws, which they effected by little and little with certain Engines which they invented. At the end of four days we arose, but looked like the shadows of other men; and so yellow and maugre we were, that once we were taken to be the Offspring of the Fathers of the Desert. We spent most of our time in paying our thanks to Heaven for redeeming us from the Captivity of the cruel Cabra, praying that never any Christian might fall into his Tyrannic hands. We related sometimes to Don Alonso all his Maxims against Gormandizing; (although the miserable Cabra was never guilty of that sin) and we made him laugh hearty, when we told him, that when he taught us the Holy Commandment (one of which says) Thou shalt not kill— he still added mark, ye said he, Kill? Kill what? not only Men, but Patridges, Pheasants, and Capons, or any thing else indeed that he would not give us to eat. After we had been three months at Don Alonso's, he took a resolution to send his Son to complete his Studies at Alcala, and asked me if I would attend him; I was never more pleased than to be sent far enough from the sound of the very name of this persecutor of Stomaches, and I humbly accepted the Service, and to live with him as long as he should command me. Alonso allotted his Son a Steward, whose name was Aranda, to govern his Affairs, with a Bill of Exchange on a Merchant called Julian Merluche, and accordingly we took Coach.  
At Alcala, Don Diego received a Letter from his Father, in which there was one also for me, which came from one of my Uncles named Archos Rampion, a very virtuous Man, and well known in Segovia, by the justicial Office he exercised; for all which had been done these four years, passed through his hands; not to tell you a lie— he was Hangman there, but an Eagle in his Profession; and few men that ever saw him practice, but were ambitious to be hanged by him. I will read you what he writes—  
My dear Nephew Paul,  
The continual Occupations in which the King emploies me, in my Function of my charge, have hindered me from Writing to you sooner; you know that his Majesty's Service ought to be preferred above all things. I am (though with much regret) obliged to acquaint you with some ill news— Your Father died eight days since, with more courage and resolution, than ever any shown against the Attacques of Death. I can speak it to my certain knowledge, as one who raised him up, and was his Supervisor. He mounted on an Ass, without putting Foot in Stirrup; the Robe which serves on these occasions, seemed to have been made for him: He went with much gravity; he looked on the Windows (as he passed) saluting all who quitted their Occupations to see his Procession; he twice turned up his Mustachios, bid his Confessors take Breath, and observed the most remarkable points of their Discourse to him, which they were glad to hear, and praised him highly for it. He arrived to the Gallows, and ascended the Ladder with as much dexterity as the best Cat in Christendom could do; and perceiving one Round of the Ladder to be broken, he descended again, and with a graceful presence of Wit, applied himself to the Officers of Justice, minding them to get it mended for some others, because every one had not as much agility as he. I cannot express the admiration which his Bon-graces attracted from the whole World. Being sat on the top of the Ladder, he turned back the folds of his Robe, than he took the Halter and put it about his own Neck, and seeing that the Thealin [one of a religious Order] would again preach to him; said he, good Father, I account I have had preaching enough, let us dispatch I pray, for I desire not to appear Prolix in my Affairs; He recommended to me the placing of his Bonnet on his Ear, and to wipe well his Face when he was dead, which I failled not to do: He fell without opening his Legs, or making the least grimace, and all with a gravity without example. I quartered him and gave him the Highways for his Sepulchre. Heaven knows the dolour which I resent, to see him there to keep open Table for the Jays and Crows; but I hope that the Pastry Cooks of this Country, will give us some Consolation, and put him into Paste in their pettit Pattees. I might almost tell you the same of your Mother (although she survives him) for she is in the Inquisition at Toledo, she is charged with disinterring the Dead, and going every night to have a Benediction at the Sabbal; [which is the Conventicle of Witches] there has been found with her more Heads, Legs and Arms, than in a Chapel of Miracles.  
I am much afflicted that she is such a dishonour to all of us, and more particularly to myself, that am a Minister of his Majesties, for such Kindred are a great prejudice to the dignity of my Employ.  
There rests here some Money concealed from your Father, which may amount to about 400 Ducats; I am your Uncle, and all I have shall be for you: I advise you on receipt hereof, that you make a turn hither, with what Latin and Rhetoric you have learned, for you will become a singular man in the art of Hangmanship.  
●●dress to me your sudden answer; in the mean time Heaaven preserve you,  
So I remain, Your good Uncle Archos Rampion.  
I cannot deny but this News did very much afflict me, but that which brings me some comfort (at least to mitigate some part of my sorrow) is the hopes and honour of my Uncle's Letter, which I confess is full of brave and learned Expressions, which made me withdraw from the presence of Don Diego to write him an answer; and I thought it would become my prudence not to acquaint him with the purport of it; for who does know whether in this prying Age, he or some other great person by their interest at Court, of the powerfulness of Purse, might not prevail with his Majesty, or the Magistrates of Segovia, to get the Reversion of that high Office from me, which my honourable Uncle seems to design for me; so writing my thoughts, I found it much trouble to show some Eloquence being not used to it, nor knew I well how to address it— then I began to write my Letter.  
Dear Uncle— phsa— (said I) that is not well begun, and looks too Citizen-like— Honoured— Uncle— And this gins as it were wrote to an ordinary Gentleman, Most Honourable Uncle; ay that sounds very well, and is fit for a person of so high Quality and Education; so having blotted out the two first, I fairly wrote it over, and resolved to address it.  
For the Honourable Archos Rampion, His Majesty's High Officer of Justice at Segovia.  
Most Honourable Uncle,  
YOUR generous Lines were so emphatically welcome, that I kissed them a million of times, that done, I assumed Pen Ink and Paper, to present to you my acknowledgements for your most obliging Letter, in which you manifest an heroic zeal for the welfare of your Kindred, and particularly of my unworthy self; I did not until now consider the advantage and preferment that Latin and Rhetoric may bring me to, for I perceive by yours that it is very necessary in your high Employ. Another man would have writ me that my Father was hanged, and Mother a Thief, Bawd and Witch, and that's all; but you Sir I find, according as is expected from persons of your great quality, do not plainly tell matter of Fact, as Common Rogues do, but express it in a gallant and honourable phrase, according to to the rules of Grandeur. I protest Sir, your Letter has almost, distracted me with joy, that I may become honourable too, after the time that I have been afflicted in the cruelest manner that ever a living Creature was, for I must tell you that I have been almost starved at a Villains House, called CaCabra, and all I got by my long suffering, was that which you so much commend— Latin and Rhetoric; and here I shall learn more— and so by that and your Favour I may get the honourable Dignity you mention, and have wherewith now and then to eat an Oli-podrido, and White Bread and good Oil, instead of melted Tallow, the droppings of Candle (for we had no Kitchenstuff) which my niggardly Master treasured up to be eaten only on high Festivals for Sauce, and to lie on a soft Quilt instead of a sack of hard knotted Flocks and Straw; but now Sir I eat pretty well, and will eat much more, to make me of a height requisite, which this Employment may require; and I begin to turn up some Hays already towards the obtaining of Mustachios, which I fancy are very becoming, and will show Greatness and State on the top of the Ladder. In short Sir, I shall study my Eyes out but I will make myself fit to take your place, which I hope and request you will secure for me; So I humbly kiss the hands of your signory, and subscribe myself,  
Most Honourable Uncle, Your overjoyed and most honourable Servant, Paul of Segovia.  
Honourable Sir,  
PErmit this Postcript to request you, that if you know of any other Name my Father had, than Paul of Segovia, to give me notice of it, that I cease to use this, for methinks I should have a great Name for my Office, yours sounds bravely, but I wonder you do not write yourself Don Archos Rampion: I request your Sentiments herein and Directions of your Command in this material Notion, for as yet I am not versed in the Politics; nor have I read any thing relating to State-Affairs or Offices of His Majesty's Service; once more I humbly kiss the hands of your signory: Which Letter I sent by the Post; and when I have received an answer I will tell you more of my Adventures.   

On the Qualities of a Marriage; or certain Rules for the Choice of a Wife, in a Letter to the Countess of—  
THAT which I ought to desire in a Wife for my repose, my honour and my safety, is to have had her Educated in your Grace's Service, in your own House, since she can bring me no better Portion, either Temporal or Spiritual, than to have been well instructed in obedience, and to be able with just Title to say that she had the Quality of your most humble Servant. But if your Grace shall command me to say more, I will frankly tell you all the parts that I wish I could find in a Wife, that I might expect from the favour of Heaven or your Bounty; and this I will declare rather out of a design to entertain than to instruct you.  
Madam I am no other thing but what your Grace's Husband has made me, for without him I was without credit in the World and undone man; and if at this day I am any thing more, it is because he was pleased to make me cease to be what I was— I have been wicked more ways than one, and ceasing to be so, yet I cannot lawfully say that I am good, because I forsook not evil but when I was weary to commit, and not with a real desire to repent of it; I had not in this any end, but to put myself in safety; and I cannot be deceived, having no sort of malice which has not served me as an example or aversion.  
I am in some consideration among my Neighbours, Master in my own House and Son of Ancestors, whose Memory honours one, but I mortify them by mine.  
As for my riches and my years, I shall always govern them in such manner as I will endeavour to make it evident, that I have less years than Goods.  
My Person gives neither disgust nor aversion; and if it acquires not great praises, at least it attracts no maledictions or railleries from such who see me.  
Those who love me not, say that I am lame, for true it is that I seem so to them by a negligence in walking, insomuch that they determine not whether I am effectually lame, or whether I make continual reverences.  
Now that I have avowed who and what I am, I will declare how I wish a Wife to be that the Lord should please to give me; I confess it would be too great an impudence in me (without the command of your Graces) to say how I would have a Wife, since that few Women would have me such as I am.  
I desire, precisely, that she be noble, and she have Wit; for if she be innocent, she would be uncapable of Conversation, and to possess two things which I account most essential to a noble Soul, which are Equality and Virtue. I expect in her what is necessary in a married Woman, which may not be in a Blessed and Religious One; and that her Oratory be her Duty to her Husband.  
But I would rather love her Innocent than Scient as a Preacher, it being more easy to endure that which a person knows not, than to suffer by that which he presumes.  
I would have one neither Fair nor Ugly, between those Extremes, the middle is more agreeable and safe; Ugly, she is no company, but a perpetual disgust; Fair, she is not so much a delight as a continual care; but if it must be that she be one or the other, I would have her to be rather Fair than Ugly; for it is better to have Care than Fear; and to have one guard than to fly from.  
I would not desire one rich or poor, that she had only so much as was necessary; that she might not be said to buy me or I her; where Virtue is to be found Wealth ought not to be in great consideration.  
If he who possesses her, quits her because he believes her to be poor, he cannot be rich but with Infamy— And if he who possesses her not, desires her because he believes her to be rich, he is poor with Infamy.  
I should love her better Gay than Sad; for in Domestic Affairs the occasions of sadness will not fail us, which honestly moderate carefulness and joy will.  
To have a Wife that is dull and always retired like a Cobweb in a Corner, it is to espouse a continual disgust of life.  
It is necessary that she be Proper, for my only satisfaction, and not to please those who have but leisure to partake her; she should be dressed with what becomes her best, and not with that which the Libertism of other Women invents; she must not do that which some do, but that which all aught to do.  
I should love her rather to be a Huswife than a Prodigal, for from the one nothing but fears is to be expected, and from the other profit is to be hoped— But it would be a great good to fin done that is liberal—  
It would be indifferent to me whether she was Brown or Fair, I desire only that if she be Brown, that she labour not to become Fair— for falsities and disquiets gives commonly more suspicion than Love.  
It imports not much whether she be Short or Tall; Chiopins or Stilts (much used in Spain and Italy) make almost all sizes, and each Stature has its peculiar Charms and Graces—  
As for what regards Fatness or Leanness, if I cannot find one of a necessary plumpness, she would rather please me, being lean, and would be more acceptable to my Fancy, to be rather slender as a Cow than gross as a Tun.  
I would have one neither in Infancy nor much Aged; the one would be as a Cradle, the other as a Coffin. I have forgot how Children are Rocked; and I have not yet learned the Responses, which are said for the Dead— I must have one made, which I nevertheless wish was a young one— I wish above all, that she had not those delicate Hands, those fair Eyes, and that pretty Mouth; for with those three things, which of themselves are perfectly good, it would be impossible that one could suffer it, because that Women make themselves unsupportable with their costly Bracelets, to have their Hands gazed on, which are always as 'twere fencing with their curled Hairs, and still weaving them into Cobwebs, and emploping them about their Head-tire, to give occasion to consider their fair Eyes, which they rock, and put them to sleep, then awake 'em on a sudden, and make 'em seem dying; with so many Apish postures, that the Devil himself cannot not suffer. Is it not ridiculous to see a Woman at every moment to show her Teeth, to haev'em admired, rolling and biting her Cherry Lips, to give fresher colour to 'em, as if she affected to study the Grimaces of an angry gurling Mastiff, or of one that was damned. Too much care is disadvantageous to perfection, when negligence most often hides defects.  
I covet not that she be an Orphan, because I would not be obliged to so many comemorations of the Dead; neither would I have her to have much Kindred, 'tis sufficient if she has a Father and a Mother in this World, and all her Aunts in Purgatory, for whom I will cause as many Masses to be said as she in reason should request.  
I should esteem it a favour of Heaven, if she was a little deaf, or did a little stammer; those Qualities will avoid long Conversations and frequent Visits, which will make the best conditioned Woman, to lose half of the Ware in words, which are profitable for nothing.  
And that which would be the most important, is that she suffer no Governess (Duegna) in her House, which is in my opinion an instrument little necessary in Housewifery: However it is certain, that I will esteem her such as I shall have her; and that (if it must be so) I will suffer as I merit, presuming that I may be married with little good fortune: But that it is very difficult that I be ill-married.  
FINIS.