A CHARACTER OF M R. BLAWS BOOK ENTITLED SUADELA VICTRIX. In a LETTER to a COMRADE. SIR YOU desired me to be at the Pains, to read over Mr. Blaw's School-Orations, to see if they might be profitable to Others, or worth the while. 'Tis true I am unwilling to refuse your Requests, which are all Commands to me; but, I protest, before I had read them half over, I began to suspect, That you had imposed the Task, as a Test of Friendship, or as a Penance to expiate some heinous Offence: For I'm sure, hardly any thing but the Author's Ferula, could oblige one to read them to the end. It is true had I never heard of the Author, or seen other of his Works before, the swelling Title would have raised my expectation: but instead of that, it raised my Stomach only. Suadela victrix, quoth he, Hor: Quid dignum tanto feret hic promissor hiatu? After such a daring Brag, What wit so brisk as not to Fag? But it is not the first time he has amused his Readers with the like bombast. To entitule a ridiculous Vocabulary Fraus Elusa, or Tenebrae depulsae, is beyond a Superlative, but indeed it might rightly be called Fraus Elusa: For whereas before he cheated the Liedges without being so much known, he then avowedly Printed himself a Fool. Now after the ridicule, he met with for that Title, one would have expected, he would have learned more Modesty; but now seeing he hath not, the Poet privilegeth us to ridicule him. Hor. Ridetur, Chorda qui semper oberrat eadem. That Fiddler as a Fool we mock, Who still goes wrong in the same stroke. But you'll say, he's a silly Gardener that lightlies his own Leeks; 'tis true indeed, but yet Good Wine needs no Bush. The same Poet has taught us, what Judgement to make. — Ubi plenius aequo Laudat venaleis qui vult extrudere merces. When Pedlars praise their Trump'ries, more than's meet, The Prudent Merchant should suspect a Cheat. 'Tis one of the Author's Predominants', to cause his Reader gape wide, and then only to Blow in his Mouth: So in his Prologue to this Suadela Victrix, giving his Readers an Account and Character of the following Orations, he ascends gradually, and as if he were at an Auction with them, the farrer he goes he raises the Rate the higher. He promises on the first Orator's Head, Quod Luculenter ostendet quam vitando sit ignavia; but as if this Luculenter were but mean (although Buchanan thought it sufficient for Knox's Sermons, and Sallust for Cicero's Oration) he advances some higher with the next. And therefore to Compliment one of his honourable Patrons, the Deacon of the Websters, to whom he Dedicates this Peice; he assures him, That the second Orator, Laudem artium Mechanicarum validis argumentis astruet, & magnis tuebitur auctoribus; and when we look into the Oration itself, among his Magni Auctores is reckoned Musculus, who (saith he) left the Webster Trade, and applied himself to Divinity, as if this Example did not prove the contrair of what he intended. if it prove any thing: But he needed not have gone beyond Sea for Examples, his own is beyond exception. Juv. Quem Pater arden's massae fuligine lippus A carbone, & forcipibus, gladiosque parante Incusde, & luteo Vulcano ad Rhetora misit. Whom's Father black with smoke i'th' Smithy, Sent from the Anvil and the Stithy, Where he good Culross Girdles made, To learn the Rhetorician Trade. Here the Poet in the Original has drawn him as much to the Lisander as if he had been sitting to his Picture, if he had not mistaken Swords for Girdles, but the Translation correcteth the Error. Nay so well skilled is he in sowing Point, and in all sorts of Cookery (as he relates of Achilles) yea even to Pottage making, that his own Wife was never troubled, or entrusted with it. But the third Orator mounts yet a step above his Fellows, and tells his Hearers, that he Majore Cothurno personabit refulgentes doctrinae laudes, and so his Cothurnus makes us fear a tragical Catastrophe, and so indeed it proves; for the tender Mothers pay severely in the next Oration for their Indulgence. Well, it may be, he'll wish to have meddled with others, when he meddled with the Wives of Edinburgh, who are his only Support. This touring Climax of his, puts me in mind of the Trick of the old Wife, who to put off her Daughters, that lay long on hand, pretended the best was ay behind. But to proceed, this Suadela victrix contains some Select Orations, but what the Author means by Select is not yet agreed on by Commentators; perhaps they're so called for their Dignity, because they are choice and special ones; if this be the reason, the Epithet indeed is well chosen; for I dare say they can hardly be matched, but perhaps they're so called, because they are chosen out from among many others if so, then I'm in a deadly fear we shall be plagued with the rest of them; Juv. — Nam quis. Peccandi finem fecit sibi, quando recepit Ejectum semel attrita de fronte pudorem? For who to sin yet more doth fear When shame's once past the shade o's Hair. Old Horace was not mistaken in his Judgement of that Cattle, when he said. Quem semel arripuit tenet, occiditque legendo, Nec missura cutem nisi plena cruoris hirudo. Who once has got a trick of Scribbling. His stone-sick pen will never leave dribbling, Till he his wretched Reader kill, And like a Leech hath sucked his fill. Yet I have heard some say, that as ill as these Orations are, they are not his own. Well! 'tis not the first Child has been wrong Fathered, and of the various sorts of Cuckolds that are in the World, Mr. Blaw is of the happiest sort: For he is a contented one, and doteth wonderfully upon other men's Children. I know indeed certainly, that the Oration to be said at the is Mr. Cuninghame's, but Mr. Cuninghame knew how to keep decorum better, than to do any thing for him so well, but that by its Imperfections, it might resemble the supposed Author: But for the most part of these Orations, I dare say, that they slander him, who allege they are not his own. They carry his Mark as indelibly as his Wife, when branded by him with the hot Tongues. And yet as bad as they are, so fond is he of them, that, when he was reproved for some Errors by Mr.— with a Huff he answered, What! a pack of Zoilus 's and Momus 's carp at other men's Works, because they cannot do the like themselves. Indeed I hope Mr.— shall never be guilty of so much as a Motus primo-primus to that Sin. If this make an Author, Dii bene fecerunt, inopis me, quodque pusilli Finxerunt Animi— I bless my Stars, my Wit's but weak, Such as will ne'er an Author make. And to another Gentleman, ask him how his School prospered, What! (says he, with an Air peculiar to himself) no fear of my School, I think my Works have made me Famous. Now of all the Inventions that ever were, these of Gunning and Printing have been most pernicious to Mankind. O! how much precious Paper hath been misspent in Printing; which Selkirk or Thomson could have most usefully employed about their Tobacco. He makes use of a Prologue to his Orations, to give his Hearers an Account of what they are to expect: And the reason why he does so is thus, Ut qui lautum instruunt convivium, varia fercula, eorumque seriem animo priusquam stomacho digerunt, simile quidpiam nos facere decrevimns. Is not this Allusion pretty and argumentative? yea it exactly infers the contrary: For it is not the fashion for these that make a Feast, to tell those whom they have invited, what Messes they are to receive, or in what order: Only the Master of the Feast contrives them in his own Mind. So the Animus cannot be Convivarum but Convivatoris, otherwise what he says is a Lie: So by this Allusion neither aught he to tell his Hearers, what Orations they were to hear, and so the rest of the Prologue would be impertinent and contradictory: But if ever he had made a Feast I would allege, It had been his own Custom to tell his Guests before hand what they were to expect: For that of the Poet seldom fails, Claud. — Similes agnoscit pagina mores. — Lo here, The Author's Manners by his Works appear. But being Jealous of the Auditor's ridicule, as he had good Reason, in the end of the Prologue, he endeavours to prevent it, by quoting a line of Horace. Spectatum admissi risum teneatis amici. How luckily will even a Fool at a time, blunder on that which is most apposite! Now had he racked his Brains a thousand Years, he could not have hit more happily, how true is the old Saying, Saepe etiam est olitor verba opportuna locutus, A Fool sometimes may speak what's fit As a blind Man a Dog may hit. The whole work is even as like the Peice, that Horace draws before that line, as one Egg is like another, so Monstrous, Unnatural, and Disorderly are all the parts of it; and therefore nothing could be more fitly subjoined; yet he has the forehead to commend them before Ovid's Ajax for varying the Gesture of the Body, or tuning the Voice; whereas every one knows, that that Peice of Ovid for Humour and Passion, is the most exquisite Peice of Rhetoric that can be found; and therefore incomparably and infinitely fit for that purpose, than these Orations of his, the like of which for ill Latin, impertinent Authorities and wrong Verse, I dare say never appeared in Print. But the most unpardonable of all his Transgressions is, That he Murders the Verses of good Poets: So in his Authorities to his Oration on Diligence. Tendimus in latium sedes ubi fata quietas Ostendunt, atque ut omnia vincet amor. In this last verse he manifestly violats the quantity, and there are few of so good a reach as to Fathom the depth of the nonsense. In his Oration in Laudem linguae Latinae, he has set down in an Italian Character, and in a line by itself, that we may be sure that it is a Verse. Dum idem limes orbis & urbis erat, Let any one measure it, and see if it be right. A little after in the same Oration, he has Marguillied another verse of Virgil's at the same rate. Haec tantum alias intercaput extulit— With the defect at the end, but none at the beginning, without which supposed, it cannot be measured. In his Title he promises to give Authorities at the end of every Oration, out of good Authors for confirming the several points, and a Chorus relative to each subject, behold then; at the end of that, in Indulgentiam matrum one of his verses out of good Authors. Bonos corrumpunt perversa consortia mores, What Poet ever made such a verse, is beyond my reading to know. Si puer hoc sciret, quantum doctrina valeret Raro dormiret, noctesque diesque studeret. These look as if they were out of some good Author, in his Chorus upon the Mechanic Arts, he gins with Asclepiadiack Verses, but try these that follow. Ignarum solum his obloquitur pecus Manent, his etenim commode vivitur. Gens, & hasce colens divitiis cluas. You see what Verses they are, and for the Latin, consult the Book where they are entirely set down, in the other Chorus' there is at least an aim at Rhyme, but here is neither Rhyme nor Reason. In the Chorus to that Oration in Indulgentiam matrum, Qui puero dat arbitrium is made to signify to give a Child his Will, is not this brave Latin? But considet how pertinent the Chorus is, the Oration is in Indulgentiam matrum, but the Chorus is in Indulgentiam Patrum. It is Qui and not Quae puero dat arbitrium. Is not, Vina fere dulces oluerunt mane Camenae, a very good Authority against the Indulgence of Mothers? is not. Ingressus iter parat haec quae postulat usus, a good Verse for the quantity? And yet this Author has perfected the Prosody (as he says) by his Index Poeticus. Now in two Pages full of Authorities upon the last Oration, there are not four to the purpose. These adjoined to that in in laudem Linguae Latinae, are altogether impertinent, not one of them on the Latin Tongue. These adjoined to that in Laudem Doctrinae, are all, except two, in praise of moral Virtue, not a word of Learning, Nay and three parts of four of all these Authorities, are not either out of a Classic Author, or yet any later Author of any Fame. And then for his Chorus of Saphick Verse of his own making, patched out of Horace, it may be kept for a Standard of Nonsense. Whom says the Chorus to, Docte sermones utriusque linguae? It must be to the Master or no Body, and he indeed may be called docte sermons, etc. in the same sense that the Boys understand doctus grammaticam: For one who has forgot what he has learned, in opposition to doctus grammaticae: We have seen some of his Latin already, and for his Greek his Derivation of Alector, quoth a lecto excitet in the Cock-oration, evidently shows his Skill: And yet as senseless as these Chorus' are, the Boys must get Ballads, the worst and profanest possible, to learn to sing the Chorus according to the Tune of them. Lillie-bur-lero he confesses to be hellish Lines. The last time I came through the Moor, I left my Lass behind me, is indeed a very modest one. As she has guided me, is indeed a very godly Ballad, when the next Lines are, The Devil put on her Winding-sheet the Night before she die. But now I'm tired with relating his impertinencies, I protest I could show 200 more gross errors, for which any discreet Schoolmaster would Whip a Boy. He further threatens the public with his practical decisions against Tyranny, whereby (saith he) any good Subject may defend the present Government. Now God ha' Mercy on Mankind if Blaw turn Statesman, a Fellow of so concocted a Malice, that he's able to possess the Devil, and of so refined a Hypocrisy, that he would outjugle a Jesuit. A thing so uncivilized and unpolitick that he was never yet in a Society, out of which he was not thrust as insociable with a note of Infamy, Witness the West-Kirk and High-School of Edinburgh. One who could never yet agree with his own Wife, much less with others, but Sabina knows better things than to be so treated. But how comes he now to be a man of this Government, certainly it was not so in the days of old: We know whom he threatened to delate to the late Government for Nonconformity, and his practices about the Abbay in the Eighty Eight are too notour to be denied. But the Answer is easy, Sequitur fortunam ut semper, & odit damnatos, he's as good Presbyterian, as the Test can make him. It is true he pretends to have vomit it up, but an easy tentation would make the Dog return to his vomit. But to leave him, Fumi-vendulus the ordinar Anagram of his Name, is a full description of the Man and his Works. Sir Your humble Servant. I have not taxed any Errors of the Press, although they be in equal number to the lines almost, though he himself was the Corrector. If Mr. Blaw allege, that the Verses that are taxed, were not designed for Verses, the structure and order of the words show the contrary, for never any wrote so in Prose. When his promised works are Published, I shall in another Letter give their Character, unless they be in better order, than I know them to be in his Papers.