A CHARACTER OF THE True Blue Protestant Poet: OR, THE Pretended Author OF THE CHARACTER OF A Popish Successor.  
ONE would believe it almost Incredible, that any out of Bethlehem should think it possible, a yesterdays Fool, an errand Knave, a despicable Coward, and a profane Atheist, should be to day by the same Persons, a Cowley, a Man of Honour, a Hero, and a Zealous upholder of the Protestant Cause, and Interest; But certainly those that believe this, must have as much Faith, and Ignorance, as the Blindest Bygotted Papist in Europe; and confess at the same time, that Miracles are not ceased; For, like Mushrooms in a Night, there is lately sprung up such a Wit, such a Hector, such a True Protestant Poet, such a Champion for the Cause, as no Records have ever mentioned; But since it has ever been granted, that Three parts of Four of all Mankind, are Knaves, and Fools; I wonder which of these two his Admirers, and Applauders will submit themselves to be taken for, for 'tis an Inevitable fate upon them, they will by the understanding part of the World, be accounted one of those.  
But now, that this may not appear altogether Malice, and Reflection upon him, and some that are pleased to be Infamously called his Friends; we will a little consider what our Hero has been, and what he still is; and because he may lose no Honour that may accrue to him: I will in the first place begin with his Birth, and Quality, He was indeed the Reputed Son of his Mother's Husband; a Barber in Dunstable, and his good Mother sold Ale; and because his Family would not Degenerate, or they thought themselves honoured in their Trade; the better half of his Generation are Barbers, he was designed for one; his Brother was a Barber, and his Great Uncle that bred him up, and gave him all he has, is a Barber now living at Hempstead, in Hartfordshire, well known by the name of Old Cana, or E. S. The rest of his Allies, Bakers, Fiddlers, and Shoemakers, etc. And though this be no extraordinary Parentage, yet he, like the ill Bird, the Proverb speaks of, has Bewrayed his own Nest, and made it worse; It happened about four years ago, there came out a Copy of Verses, of the same Libellous nature of Azaria, and Hushai, (which by the greatest part of the Town has been accounted his;) but since the Illegitimate Brat had not strength to Support itself, and he found its deformity, and weakness, gave no credit to the Vigorous Abilities of the Father; He ('tis said) had laid it at an Impotent, Lame Man's door, who because he never had any of his own, he gladly Adopted the Bastard;) But our Malicious Buzzard did not in those days Soar so high, he only did abuse the Poets then, into whose number he would fain have crept, which because they always scorned, and looked with Contempt upon him, He endeavours thus to revenge himself; but it fell out most unluckily, for a discovery was soon made of our Author.  
And Mr. O. a Man of the Sword, as well as the Pen, finding himself most coarsely dealt withal, immediately called him to an account, and required the satisfaction of a Gentleman from him: This I must confess was something unreasonable, and did by no means agree with our Scribblers Constitution, who had much rather Rail than Fight; and being at this news as much surprised, and in little better pickle, than Alderman Atkins would have been upon the like occasion, begged he would spare his Life, and he would give him any other satisfaction he could desire; and presently taking, Pen, Ink, and Paper out of his Pocket, he writ these following words, (viz.) I confess I Writ the Sessions of the Poets, and am very sorry for't, and am the Son of a Whore for doing it; Witness my hand E. S. This he delivered to Mr. O. which it seems saved his Throat for that time; but I am afraid for a worse hand.  
But yet since this we find he can be Valiant, extremely Valiant, as by this late Heroic Action will appear; He had some years Courted a Gentlewoman of an Unspotted Reputation, and much better than he could deserve; And after many Solicitations of her Love, and Vows of his, at last with many Solemn Protestations they were Contracted. But afterwards, meeting with a Tapster's Daughter, (a Wench he thought would have a better fortune,) he Premeditated with himself, how to break off from his first Engagement; and one day, being alone with the Gentlewoman, he on a sudden coming behind her, Struck her with most Barbarous fury, several blows upon the Head and Neck, with the Hilt of his Sword; and, had she not cried out Murder, and the People of the House come in upon it, he confessed, He should not have given over, till he had beaten her Brains out; Now how noble this Action is, and how it becomes our Hero, I will leave to the Censure of all Honest Men.  
Nay, after all this, he himself confessed, That he had Sworn Ten Thousand Oaths to her, and that they were Contracted, but (he said,) It was not for his Interest to keep those Vows; and therefore, had he Sworn Ten Thousand more, he would have broken them all.  
She upon this his Saucy usage, and to take off all censure that it in reason might produce, soon after Sued him at Common Law; and in the Trial at Westminster-Hall last Term, (when a Scandalous proof might have been Advantageous to him,) he said publicly in the Court, He knew nothing by her contrary to Virtue, and Honour; and it was likewise Sworn, by an Eminent Citizen of London at the same time, and one to whom E. S. had with a great deal of Inveteracy Railed against her; that even then in the close of his discourse, he vowed, He knew nothing so much as Immodest by her, and he believed her as Chaste as the Virgin Mary.  
There is besides, now living at the Golden Key in St. Clements-lane, two Witnesses more who were in the Court the Trial day, and would have taken their Oaths if there had been occasion, that E.S. a little before the Suit began, had Voluntarily, but very Solemnly, Sworn, and bid them bear Witness of it, That whatever Law-Suits she should Commence against him, he would never do, or say any thing to the Prejudice of her Honour; For if I should, (said he,) by the Eternal God it would be False, and nothing but Malice; for I know that for me she is a Virtuous Woman; And in my Soul I believe her so for all Mankind. Then Mrs. J. said to him, Perhaps you will not Defame her yourself, but may set on some Friend of yours to do it; No (said he,) in the presence of Almighty God I Swear, I never will; and remember what I now say, and if I do, Record me both a Villain, and a Rogue, for ever after.  
Yet after all this his asserting her Innocence with Vows, and Protestations, he now endeavours by all the Malicious Billingsgate Language he can invent, to Dishonour her; But since he could Record his own Mother a Whore, should we in reason expect better from such a Sordid Animal. No, it is impossible that Mud should produce any thing but Monsters.  
In the next place he is a Man of so much Religion, that he has often, and in several Companies, declared, That Interest is his God; and indeed, according to the Dictate of his Interest, has he ever acted; As for a fresh Example, for when he had to oblige a party, (Foolishly enough, in every Coffee-house, Alehouse, and Tavern he came into,) owned The Character of a Popish Successor to be his; But finding his hoped for reward still behind, he has often said, God Damn that Party, they were ungrateful Rascals; he presently resolved to change the Scene, and answer those two Books, called, The Character of a Popish Successor; and a Popish Successor Complete; which not two Months before he had (with no small Vanity,) Boasted to be his; In this how far he proceeded I cannot tell, but he begun the great work; for it has been seen by several, in several Papers under his own hand: The Verbatim words of one that was by accident lost by him, (but is still in being, and may be produced,) are these: I confess I am so proud of Publishing the Glories of that never to be forgotten Hero, the Royal J. That I would not only with no little vanity have set my Name to this Loyal Panegyric, but with Triumph have laid both myself and it at his Highness' Feet; did I not fear the Injustice I have done that unexampled Envied Prince, (should I discover myself,) would create me such Mortal Enemies, that I might with reason expect a Fanatic Stab, for the ungrateful Oracles I have declared; I believe indeed not only I, but all Men of sense, would fear to Insense so Powerful, so Revengeful, and so Dangerous a Party against them.  
'Tis true, I could have been more large in describing the Compendious Merits of his worthily famous Highness 's more than Princely Character; did I not think it as Impertinent a piece of Rhetoric, as playing the Oraetour upon the Courage of Ajax, and Subtlety of Ulysses; it being no more than the understanding Reader, and the Judging, Admiring World, are already sensible of.  
And next, the whole aim of the Subject is to do my King and Country Service: First, in Removing the doubts of a distracted People, and delivering them from the unhappiest of all Conditions, the living betwixt Hope and Fear, like Erasmus 's Paradise hanging between Heaven and Hell, and settling them in a true and solid understanding, both of their own and England's present State: And secondly, by dispelling that Cloud that Darkens the face of the Heir of England, and rendering the true indisputable Virtues of the Royal J. both Conspicuous, and Transparent; And now swelled with the pride of so glorious a design, etc.  
This was Abruptly left off, and was an unpolisht part of a Preface to the Answers, some of which I am sure he had writ before, though they were never Published; And then, to make that Party believe he was growing Honest, he visits all his former Acquaintance that were the D's. Friends, and which had, for his owning the Characters, deserted him: The Lady S— was one to whom he Confessed he was much troubled for his Writing those Books, but he was now resolved to Write himself into the D's favour again: and to one Mrs. M—, who had been his Landlady five years, he said he was both sorry and ashamed that he had Writ against his Royal H. but he was now a true Convert, Answering his own Books, he had Writ against him, with all the Zeal Imaginable; He likewise told all the Players, that we was Writing the Convert Whig.  
And further, to promote that Interest which he declared was his God, He wisely but very Impudently makes bold with two Great Lords Names, (viz.) the Lord A—, and the Lord H—, pretending these Persons had sent to him about this Affair, and had promised him three hundred Pounds a year to Write for the Court-Party, and Answer his own Books: Which I believe no Man of sense would give three pence for, and most sweetly for them made himself this Compliment, that none could Answer S. but S. But this done cunningly, at last, to let them know what he expected, or at last to see which Party would bid most for his Pen; but finding that all his Leuring brought not his Falcons to his Fist, he Sneaks back to his first station, and fawns on them he had renounced, and Cursed: telling them, that these Reports which then flew about, was only the Malice of the Tories against the True Blue Protestant Poet, and That Paper, or Preface of his, which is inserted here, was Writ by the way of Irony: hoping they would not believe he could so much as think what he had Writ concerning his R. H. was truth, and perhaps indeed he did not; but all wise Men will also believe, a Man of his principles never valued that in any case, a Man that declares Interest his God, would no doubt, were it in his Power, Dethrone an Angel, and Crown a Devil for his Advantage.  
After all his Notorious Perjuries; His Barbarous and Inhuman Beating of Women; His Recording his own Mother a Whore, rather than prick his own Finger; His declaring Interest to be his God; His Perfidious Deceitful Actions, even to all Parties; What can with reason be expected from such a Monster, such a Despicable Coward, but that he will at last for Fear, or Interest, Betray to ruin all those that have ever trusted him.  
All this considered, I wonder what any Party can expect from him, if they Design to serve him as the Monkey served the Cat, make use of his Paw to Scratch the Chestnuts out of the Fire; I am afraid they will be mistaken, to my certain knowledge, he is very choice of his Clumsey Fists; and he values not what any Suffers for him, so he may Sleep in a whole Skin; For in his most Meritorious piece of Service for the Whigs, his pretending to be the Author of the two Books called the Characters, which indeed were not half his; but had they been his own entirely, he never durst have Published them himself, or owned them till he had seen the danger over; but then, and when he saw the Honour was like to be done the curious King Elephant, that first forded the River; Was he not, like Sir Philip Sidneys Dametus, creeping out of the Bush, and Singing with a loud voice, 
If the Man such praise must have,  
What must I, that keep the Knave?  And certainly Dametus, by his great Wisdom and Matchless Courage, was a type of our Hero.  
I could enlarge much, and instance many more notorious Actions of his, but I am not willing to tyre myself and the Reader any longer with such a dirty Subject.  
I think I have said enough, (considering how easily every one may satisfy themselves, in the truth of this Narrative,) to convince all Honest Men what a Rogue our True Blue Protestant Poet is, and how they ought to avoid him.   

LONDON: Printed for A. Banks, 1682.