THE CITY MATRONS, Or the Three MONEMENTALL MOBBS.  
Striving in Vice which should excel,  
To gain the Matro●ship of Old Bridewell,  
Pleading their high deserts in Speeches witty,  
Which Traded best, for to enrich the City.  
All Parties heard, with most mature discretion,  
She carried it, that did the most transgression.  
Printed in the Year of women's honesty. Nou: 10 MDCLIV.   

THE CITY MOBBS.  
THere were seen this Week three Matron Polecats at the Committee for the Election of a Matron Governess of Bridewell, who all of them desired the Place, as having deserved well of this honourable City; the manner thus,  
The Committee being set at the usual place, the Chairman commanded the three Matrons to be called in, and no sooner was the door open, but two ancient Beadles presented▪ Mistress Holland of the Leaguer, who making her curtsy took up her stand; next followed Sarah Salisbury presented by Black Madge of the Bankside, did the like and stood; Lastly came Bess Broughton supported by a Squir of the Body, did her duty also, and stood; Then be spoke the Chairman, and told them, This present meeting was to know who of them three had deserved best of this Honourable City, that the party deserving might be rewarded with the Matron Governship of Bridewell. And then nodding to Mistress Holland, bid her speak for herself, who lowly courseying, said, May it please your Worships, It is not unknown that for many years together; before the late great blood-letting of this Nation, I was a dweller in this Populous City, and had my Castle well provided, where the hot bloods of all sorts resorted to cool themselves, Because there was no Wars but a little in the Low-countries, which was only a Refuge for younger Brothers that had nothing to live upon at home, But those whose fortunes were high swollen, and might enrich this Noble City in the spending thereof, I drew to my Castle, and shown them handsome Monkeys, fine Minions, rare Marmosetts, Saint Antholme's Lecturers, sainted Sisters, Country Girls Cashiered Chambermaids, renegado Wives, Ladies of Pleasure Sporteers and starched Exchangers, some of all sorts with whom they mingled, and vaulted their fortunes away in the lap of this City, which otherwise had sin oaked out of their Chimneytopps in the Country, and filled the Nation with more people begotten on their Wife's Chambermaids & Tenants Daughters, than the land could bear; These Gallants (said she) by my Art enriched all the Tradesmen of this City, as Tailors, Shoemakers, Exchange-womens' Husbands Cutlers, Feather-makers, Beaver-makers, Lace-makers, Button-sellers, Goldsmiths, Perfumers, Belt-makers, Spurriers, and Laundresses, who thereby so increased the making of Soap and Starch, and enhanced the Prices of them, that they became a Crown Revenue; Besides the Vintner's of my acquaintance grew to be Alderman's fellows, and the Cooks to be of the Common-council. Some poor Clergymen fared the better, for by the private Christen I sent them, they lived comfortably, which otherwise would have put some whole Parish to the Charge of a Lecter to maintain them. And in my flourishing time was built Covent-Garden, Queen-street, Clare-street, Long-Acre, and Bloomsbury, to the eternal enriching and ennobling of this City, for which reason I conceive (with your Worship's favour) I have deserved this preferrment in my old age, of you, and this Honourable City; and then stood by.  
Presently came forth Sarah Salisbury, who making very humble obeisance, began as followeth: Gentlemen, in this cause, I press the bolder my right of the Government of of this Society of Bridewell, which is now in your disposing, Because I came into the World dignified for Government, and have continued so from my Cradle; for my mother was a Midwife, and my father the Curate of the Parish; No sooner was I 13. years old, but I was made a Chambermaid, where I took up my Mistress Son, and brought him to London, and here made him spend himself to his shirt, by which (as the former Gentlewoman said) enriched many a Tavern, his and my acquaintance being able to make a Tavern rich suddenly, and break it again when we list; Besides, going for man and Wife; all the best Lodgings in the Town were the better for us, for we removed commonly every Week, and gave double rates. If I longed for aught, it must be had, many a single dish of Fish in Fish-street, between him and I only, hath cost him 5. l. or 6. l. all which reckon I inflamed, to the great benefit of the Fishmongers, which the former Gentlewoman noted not, Also the Poulterer's Wives got new Gowns, if I lay but a Barn near them: When for the good of this City I had utterly undone him, I took up an old rich Usurer, and carried him from street to street, where I made him spend so profusely, that I was Courted of all the Neighbours, as if I had the Indies in a Bag; I made him give to poor handsome Children where ever I came, Gowns, Coats, Hats, Dresses, and Money when I pleased: for 'tis great weakness in Woman to have any mercy of the Purses of those who make use of their Bodies; when I had squeezed him dry, I shook him off, and snatched up a Fiddler that had got store of Money, and quickly put his Purse out of Tune, threw him off, and then catched up a Yeoman of the Guard, I lifted him from place to place, to the great benefit of this City, till he fell down and rose no more; Then I took up a Factor of the East Indies, that had cozened the Company of much Gold, Jewels, and Drugs, which I made him cast away freely in the Pleasures of this City, and when 'twas all gone, I sent him thither again for more. Then I hooked in two Players, one after another, till I made them pawn their Wives , and sell the stocks of their House. And when game grew scarce, I flew over sea, and snatched up a Brother of the Sword, and brought him hither, and made him spend in this City all that he had got in the two first Northern Exxpeditions, and at last, pawn his ●uff Goat. Last of all, I catched up a Parson (with a Carret-beard) who had been twenty years a getter, and in less than two, I made him leave it all in this City, than I brought him to the Counter-Gate, and there left him, After these, I took up only for a day or two, or three above a 1000 others, whose Names I know not, as Attorneys, Solicitors, Lawyers Clerks, and Foreigners, as Lackeys, French Tailors, Perriwigg-makers and Perfumers of Paris, or indeed any Strangers whom indeed I never let go from me with a penny in their pockets, or any good things they had to pawn, all which I caused to be consumed for the benefit of this City, in the Recreations thereof, which is very well known to many of my acquaintance, whose testimony (if need were) I could bring; I shall therefore des●●e your favours in the business before you, hoping I have deserved this Government of Bridewell better than the former Gentlewoman; and then making another low Curtsy, stood still.  
Then said Bess Broughton, 
I am before you this day, to show what I have deserved in this Noble City, that now in my old Age, I may live & die in some Worshipful Place thereof; And in Answer to what the two former Gentlewomen said, I only say, I am Bess Broughton, Alas, what have they said for themselves? the enriching only of a few Trdesmen, which all of us do of course, who have money to buy Clothes and Victuals; But knocked down whole Houses, even of those, whose great Estates made them wallow in the I uxn●ie● of this Noble City, for you shall know, when I had gotten (by the Magnet of my face) all the Gallants to resort to me, I then bethought me how to bestow the whole course of my life for the good and welfare of this City; And if one of some Thousands per Annum came to me, It cost him a Hundred Pounds for a Night's jodging, and such a Nipp I gave him of my Winchester Goose, that it lasted him some 30 or 40 Months, so the Scrievener, the Apothecary and the Doctor had a good Manor of him by that time: If I met with a wanton Gallant, newly married, the Goose bit him; he goes home to his Wife, gives it her, she gives it to her Gentleman Usher, he to the Chambermaid, and she, before her Master was fully cured, gave it him again; By this time my Gallant is greatly indebted to Doctors, Apothecaries & Surgeons, the Scrievener is sent for, and his Dwellinghouse, with all the Lordship thereto belonging, is new- mortgaged, and never redeemed till all be sold to this Noble City. If I had seen a Country Gentleman come to Town to defend the payment of his Father's Debts against some honest Citizen, I was sure to have his Company, and then I gave him a Nipp with my Goose, which stuck so close in his bones, that he never went down, till he had sold the Land that was bound for the Debt, to the honest Citizen. Nay, I was acquainted with Monopolizers that had Patents from the Court, whose hides I so Nipped with my Goose, that they were forced to keep their Chambers, and sell their Patents to honest Citizens, who grew rich by them.  
Besides, I gave the taste of my Goose to many Heirs (that had younger Brothers out at Apprentice in the City) so plentifully, that it destroyed them quite, so that the honest Aprentises became their Heirs before they were out of their Time, which much advanced the Renown of this Noble City.  
If a Country Gentleman carried a Nipp of my Goose a Hundred Miles off into the Country, before it smarted you might have seen the next Term him, and all the best of his Neighbours filling up our Neighbours the Appothecaries' houses in Blackfriars or Bucklers Bury, and keeping siege there Four or Five Terms, till they were known to all the Scrieveners in Town.  
Many hundred more of these things I have done, and I grow so famous by it, that in all England, France, Holland and Flanders, it was a Proverb, No Goose bit so sore as Bess broughton's. Indeed, It did so much service to this Noble City, that I dare boldly say, this City is Three Hundred thousand Pounds the better for my service and good will towards it; And therefore I hope I have deserved better than these Gentlewomen that are but Pedlars to me. But that I must leave to your Worship's Wisdoms.   
Then the Chairman commanded the three Gentlewomen to be taken forth, which done, cousultation was had for an hour's space, and then being all called in again, He first asked Mistress Holland, of what Church she was?  
Who answered, A Presbyterian.  
Then he asked Sarah Salisbury, of what Church she was?  
Who answered, Sir, I am an Independent, for I was never married.  
But when he came to Bess Broughton, the Chairman put off his Hat to-her, and said, Mistress Broughton, I will not question what Church ye are of, But what did you mean when you talked of the Winchester Goose? Was it a French Winchester Goose you so used for the service of this Honourable City?  
She answered, Yea Sir, it was.  
But had not you a Monopoly, or a Patent from the Court for that French Winchester Goose?  
But she answered, Truly Sir, nay,  
Nay, said the Chairman, it was lawful enough, so long as it was used for the good of the City. Therefore to you Mistress Broughton is given the Matron Government of the Place for your life, as having best deserved it.  
Mistress Holland, you shall have, as deserving the second Place, a Tithe paid you of all the Meddlers growing within 15 Miles of Bow-bell.  
And for you Mistress Sarah Salisbury, we do oblige one Titt, and two Cows grazing on H●nslow-Heath, with which, and the help of much frequenting Sermons thereabouts, and a little Kitchen Physic, you may borrow up a living amongst the the Ignorant Country People, till the death of Mistress Holland, and then you shall have all the Tithe of the Meddlers; which said, they were dismissed.  
You Pleasure Ladies, that live by sporting,  
Your Knocking done, and past your Courting,  
Grown old with Age, or so P P —y rotten,  
You cannot use the thing you wott-on,  
If your deserts, above us Three excel,  
You may inherit (after us) Bridwell.  
FINIS.