Canterbury's WILL. WITH A serious Conference between His Scrivener and Him. ALSO A loving Admonition to his Brethren the Bishops.  
Printed in the year 1641.   

Canterbury's WILL. With a serious Conference between his Scrivener and Him.  Scrivener. 
MY Lord did you send for me?  Laud. 
Scrivener, I did. Yesterday in the morning finding my body not at ease, I sent my water to the Doctor, whose opinion concerning it was this, that he could perceive nothing in it, but grim Death with his unpartial Dart.  Scriv. 
My Lord, the Fates me thinks are too blame as yet to conspire your grace's Death.  Laud. 
Friend, do not flatter me, it is not the Fates but Justice which requires my Death: dost thou not hear as thou walkest along the streets, how each school boys mouth is filled, with a Give little Laud to the devil.  Scriv. 
I must confess, my Lord, that I have often heard the repetition of those words, but never until now knew they did concern your Grace.  Laud. 
Nulla dies sine linea, there's no day passes without some scandalous libel or other concerning me; that Poet is accounted of no estimation, whose fa●sie cannot elevate itself so high as to break my (once stony) heart.  Scriv. 
Why star●s your Grace?  Laud. 
Because living so long, I have had so little Grace.  Scriv. 
My Lord, be not angry with me, if I make use of an old saying & apply it to yourself.  Laud. 
Speak your pleasure, Friend.  Scriv. 
Once being in company, each man was vaunting of his honesty; one amongst the rest starts up, and speaks thus:  
I am a man which was borne with as much honesty as the best man here, and have made as little use of it: wherefore they all concluded, that he had the more to come: so, although your Grace hitherto have made but little use of grace, be comforted with this, that the more grace is to come.  Laud. 
So truly I hope. But prithee friend, tell me seriously, what is the common report abroad concerning me? do not flatter, but speak the truth.  Scriv. 
I hope your Grace doth not take me to be any of the devil's son in Laws, for he is father of all lies, as for my part I could never endure him, he hath such a damnable hot breath, nay, and he stinks as bad; some say he had the Patent for Brimstone, which was the reason that not long since tiffanies were out of fashion.  Laud. 
Thou art disposed to be merry: but prithee come to the purpose.  Scriv. 
As the Priest said, when he did you wot what: but to answer your demand; and if it please your Grace, there are so many things reported abroad concerning you, that I had need to have as many tongues as Argus had eyes, to report them to your Grace: but hoping you will take my will for the deed, I thus begin. Some say you are a Papist, for setting up Altars; others a murderer for the death of Thomas Bensteed; others a foe to young Gregory the hangman.  Laud. 
Why to him a foe?  Scriv. 
Because your Grace hath sneaked your head out of the collar so long.  Laud. 
I can have patience to hear no further.  Scriv. 
My Lord, two years since, what was he which durst so to have reviled you, I am sure you had two or three by the ears for a less matter.  Laud. 
Tempora mutantur, & nos mutamurin illis.  
Oh vain it is, to say what I have been,  
The times are changed, and I am changed therein.  
But what Death do they say I must die?  Scriv. 
Some say, you shall be hanged, others burnt, not one will endure to hear you shall have the Honour to be beheaded.  Laud. 
'tis wonder some do not say, I will poison myself.  Scriv. 
So they do, I went the other day to the Apothecaries for a little Ratsbane to kill the rats about my house, and he would not let me have it, because he knew I was one of your grace's favourites, lest I should bring it unto you, and you should poison yourself with it, and so save the hangman a labour. Doth your Grace think now that I flatter you.  Laud. 
I think thou dost not: but now come and prepare thyself to write my Will.  Scriv. 
Most willingly my Lord.  Laud. 
First, I bestow my mitre, with the appurtenances, which have been upholders of my pride, and causers of my downfall, to some learned and pious Prelate, which may make better use of it, than ever I did. Secondly, my Crosses, Beads, Tapers, Holy water, and the like, I bestow upon the Pope, and all his cursed crew.  Scriv. 
My Lord, I pray hold a little: I have heard much talk of the Pope, I pray tell me what manner of fellow is he?  Laud. 
I will truly define him unto thee; He is one which goeth about in sheep's clothing, but inwardly is a ravening wolf; his sole intention is to rob God of glory, and man of felicity: he is the Antichrist, the whore of Babylon, the chief embracer of all ambitious thoughts; wherefore let all men as they tender their own salvation, beware of him, and his cursed deeds; his thoughts are bloody, and his paths lead unto destruction.  Scriv. 
Say you so? for that trick I will never go to Rome, least like a roaring lion he should devour me: Now if it please your Grace to go forward, I am ready.  Laud. 
Thirdly, my Manuscripts I bequeathe to the fire, because they savour rather of Popery than sound Religion: my Books to poor scholars, and best of my chaplains, which are most free from the sect of the Arminians.  
Fourthly, the wealth which I have besides, I bestow it freely (with the leave of the Parliament) upon all those which I ever wronged, which my conscience tells me are too many, that to think of it my heart is ready to break. A few more Legacies I have yet to bestow, which are these; My prayers for the whole realm; my admonition to future Judges, that they forsake and contemn bribery, and love and cherish equity. My counsel to the Hierarchy; that they be humble minded, tender hearted, piously affected, industriously to their studies bended, preaching painfully and purely, that it may prove to the edification and salvation of the people: let my falling by sin, be a cause of their rising by grace: but let those of the Episcopacy beware especially of pride, which is a vice so horrid in the sight of God, that for it he made Lucifer which was a shining Angel in heaven, to be a damned fiend in hell.  Scriv. 
Hath your Grace finished now?  Laud. 
I have.  Scriv. 
I wonder you should send for me to write your Will, no sign of Death being in your face.  Laud. 
Thy Argument is of no consequence; it is sufficient that I have deserved Death, and how soon I may have according to my desert, it is unknown to me, wherefore it is good to take Time whilst Time is.  Scriv. 
My Lord, I can only be sorry for your misfortune, and that's as much as I can do.  Laud. 
For thy sorrow I thank thee, but alas, it can do me no good; it must be prayer of others, and penitency of my own, must lead me unto true beatitude and comfort.  Scriv. 
When Cedars fall, what will become of us poor shrubs?  Laud. 
Dost thou not daily see, the lusty and tall oak hewed down, and yet the Bramble still doth keep its residence.  Scriv. 
If all our oaks should be hewed down, the Bramble sure would much lament their fall.  Laud. 
If that they old and hollow were, they would not.  Scriv. 
All this Time you plead against yourself.  Laud. 
In so doing I act the part of a wise Lawyer, whose cause being good, it is ten to one if he have not the better of the suit. If I should have taken an advantage of thy proposition, and have pleaded for myself, no man of what capacity soever, but that with great facility might have convinced me.  Scriv. 
O my Lord, had your Grace been in this mind you now are in six years since, you never had exchanged Lambeth palace for a Tower Lodging.  Laud. 
Thou sayst too true: my watery casement no longer will stand shut, wherefore farewell.  Scriv. 
Farewell.  

Ye Bishops which in honour's pool do swim,  
Aim not too high, least that you sink with him.   
FINIS.