A Duke and no Duke. As it is Acted by Their Majesty's Servants. To which is now added, A PREFACE concerning Farce: With an Account of the Personae and Larvae, etc. Of the Ancient THEATRE. By N. TATE, SERVANT to Their MAJESTY'S.  
LONDON: Printed for Henry Bonwicke, at the Red-Lion in St. Paul's Churchyard, 1693.   

THE PREFACE.  
BOTH Italy and France have swarmed with Critics upon the Business of the Stage, and traced its History up to Thespis' Cart. The Mimica Satyra Tragoedia Comoediá have been thoroughly canvased. A Man might almost conjure with their Planipedes, Attalanae, Praetextatae, Tabernariae, etc. Distinctions, Divisions and Subdivisions, but amongst them All not one word of a Farce. None have taken into Consideration, or condescended to tell us, whether the Trappolin, Scapin, Harlequin or Scaramouch be Originals; or if France be a Species of Stage-Poetry unknown to the Ancients. This Subject therefore being yet untouched, and the Bookseller having occasion to re-print this short Play, I thought it worth the business of a Preface to speak my Sentiments of the matter, though but to provoke some Learned Person to clear the Doubt, and set the Question in a true Light.  
In order to this Enquiry, 'twill be proper first to speak something of those Stage-Properties or Implements called Personae and Larvae, used by Players of former Times; for Harlequill was not the first that acted in a Vizard.  
Athanaeus in his Twelfth Book mentions one Aristophanes of Byzantium, with several others, who had written particularly on this Subject. Amongst Latin Writers Anlon. Codr. Vre. is said to have published an Elegant Epistle concerning this matter. Caelius Calcagn. in his Book Entitled, Personati, speaks pretty home to the Point; and above all, the Learned Bullinger, lib. 1. de Theatro.  
But I meet with enough for my purpose in the Syntagm. of Marischott, who, for the benefit of most Readers, contents himself with citing the Latin Version of Lucian 
* De Personis & Larvis. , and others, which I have so transcribed on occasion as I there found them. Neither can my Abstract of his Book seem needless, because the Treatise itself having been only Printed in Italy, is scarce to be met with in England.  
'Tis agreed that the Word Persona in a restrained Sense signifies only the Vizard or Counterfeit Face worn by the Actor: But in larger and more frequent Acceptation, the whole Habit or Dress of Him that entered the Scene; which (under the Reign of Old Comedy) was contrived exactly like the usual wearing Garb of some Person whom they had a mind to represent upon the Stage. An Instance hereof against no less a Person than Socrates we find described at large by Aelian. The Substance of the Story is this: That Aristophanes in his 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 represented both the Figure, Gesture and Habit of Socrates, with which Spectacle the Athenians were at first surprised. However, the common sort presently expressed their Applause. Socrates himself being then amongst the Audience, not by chance but design, and seated where he might be most exposed to view, encountering with his grave, steady and unconcerned Countenance at once the Mimickry of the Actor, and Raillery of the Poet.  
But whether the Stage-dresses and Masks were made in Imitation of some particular Person, or contrived by Humour and Fancy, as might be most agreeable to the Fable, (in which they always observed a Decorum.) 'Tis evident, says my Author, that they never entered the Scene nisi Personis induti.  
But who was the first Inventor of them is a matter of no small Dispute. They appear to be as ancient as the Practice of Plays and Drolls themselves, which were of as old a date as the Worship of Bacchus, or perhaps any other Gods. That this manner of Celebrating the Rites of Bacchus was in use not only among the Thracians and Greeks, but also very frequent and ancient among the Latins. We have evident Proof from Virgil's Georgics, Lib. 11. with a most Elegant Description of the Personae in these Words: 
— Baccho caper omnibus Aris  
Caeditur & veteres ineunt proscenia Ludi:  
Praemiaqùe ingentes pagos & compita circum  
Thesidae posuêre, atque inter pocula laeti  
Mollibus in pratis unctos salire per utres;  
Neo non Ausonii Trojâ gens missa celoni  
Versibus incomptis ludunt, risuque soluto  
Oraque corticibus sumunt horrenda cavatis.   
Ovid hints almost as much in the Minores Quinquatrus celebrated in Honour of Minerva.  
Et jam Quinquatrus jubeor narrare minores  
Huc ades O caeptis slava Minerva meis;  
Curio vagus incedat tota tibicen in urbe.  
Quid sibi Personae, quid Toga picta velint.  
Suidas affirms Chaerilus the Athenian to have been the first that erected a Stage, and used the Larva; yet elsewhere (according to Diomedes and other Greek Writers) he makes Thespis Inventor of the Persona, who at first discoloured his Face with Vermilion, before he came to use the Juice of Purslane; or, according to Horace, the Lees of Wine.  
— Plaustris vexisse Poemata Thespis  
Quae canerent agerentur peruncti faecibus ora.  
This Practice, and Cartshow's of Thespis were performed about the 56th Olympiad. Others give the Honour of this Invention to Aeschylus, and presume that they have likewise Horace's Word for their Opinion.  
Post hunc Personae pallaeque repertor honesta  
Aeschylus—  
But Horace is still consistent, if rightly understood; for he does not affirm Aeschylus to be the absolute Inventor of the Persona, but of the Persona Honesta, of more graceful Masks and Habits than were contrived by others; for which Reason we may suppose, as Philostratus relates, this Aeschylus was called the Father of Tragedy. After Aeschylus Stage-Habits for Women were also invented by Phrynicus.  
Amongst the Romans till Livius Andronicus his Time, the Galeri and not Personae were used upon the Stage; and Suidas will have Roscius Gallus to be the first that brought the Personae into custom with the Romans; But Donatus tells us, that Minutius and Prothonius were the first Players that Acted Tragedy, Personati: Which Fashion afterwards obtained that Degree, that Nero Caesar himself is recorded by Suetonius to have appeared in such Dresses upon the open Stage. Tragoedias cantaverit Personatus; Herôum Deorumque item heroidum & Dearum, Personis effictis. That pompous and splendid Dresses were proper for Tragedy, both Pollux and Donatus affirm.  
Next to Tragedy came satire, which was but a Species of the former, as appears by the Cyclops of Euripides. This sort of Drama (though less practised as the World grew more civilised) had also it's peculiar Personae or 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, made of Goat's Skins and Hides, and other Beasts, which are described by Dyonisius, Pollux and Causabon.  
The personal Habits used in the Licentious Comdiaaevetus were contrived (as we instanced) to represent particular Persons, 
* Poet. Lib. c. 4. 14. Lib. xi. c. 12. l. 4. c. ix. Morum Charact. Ch. 6.  which therefore could he no constant or fixed Garb; For Suidus says expressly, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, etc.— That is, Moris fuit ut Comici Personas Histrionibus darent eorum similes quos imitarentur. Horace alludes to the same Custom, Sat. 4. L. 1.— Quivis Stomacheter eodem quo personatus Pater. Their resembling Dresses (says the Scholiast upon Aristoph.) were so aptly contrived, that the Spectators knew what Person the Actor mimicked at his first appearance, before he spoke a Word. While Athens was a popular State, the Rabble were so much delighted with these Representations of particular Men, that Isocrates complains they would run to those Entertainments from their Orators, while they were haranguing upon Matters of greatest Importance to the Public. 'Tis true, this Practice of exposing Men upon the Stage, was at its beginning more justifiable, while confined to those Limits mentioned by Horace, 
Si quis erat dignus describi quod malus aut fur,  
Quod Maechusve foret, aut Sicarius, aut alioqui  
Famosus.—  Nay, it did not a little conduce to the reforming of the State, in deterring Men from Wickedness; upon which Dionys. Halycarn. did not stick to 
* Dionys. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  affirm of Eupolis Cratinus and Aristophanes, that they performed the Office of Philosophers and Statesmen as well as of Poets. But when from representation of evil Men, the Practice declined to the Traducing of the Good and Virtuous, and even to the Dishonour of Religion, and ridiculing their very Gods, 'twas high time for the Government to take Cognizance of the Matter, and enact Laws to restrain their Licence.  
— Lex est accepta Chorusque  
Turpiter Obticuit Sublato jure nocendi,  Horace, Art. Poet. 
— jam saevus apertam  
In rabiem verti caepit focus & per honestas,  
Ire domos, etc.  
And a little after, 
— Lex  
Paenaque lata malo quae nollet Carmine quemquam,  
Describi.   Epist. Lib. 3. 
Upon this Regulation succeed the Media and Nova Comedia, in which the Personae ludicrae & ad risum accommodatae were invented and made familiar to the Stage. One contrived a peculiar Habit, when the part of a Pedagogue was to be played, another of a Parisite, others of Bawds, Cooks, etc. All which are recited by 
* In prolegom. ad Terent.  Donatus, and more largely by 
* Lib. 4. c. 19  Pollux. That Comedians acted Personati in Terence his time appears by an ancient Copy of that Author preserved in the Vatican, where Figures are drawn of the Actors in the Play, as they were Larvati and Personati.  
'Tis impossible for us to conceive the Art and Curiosity in the Contrivance and Making of these Shapes, in which these Players acted, or how much the Player himself was sometimes enamoured on his Persona, or Stage-dress, attributing his Success and Theatrical Applause to the Semblance in which he acted. As to this Particular, Pliny has given us an Instance of memorable Event in his Natural History, Lib. 8. cap. 43. speaking of M. Opilius Hilarius. He tells us, That this Actor having wonderfully pleased the People in performance of a certain Part; He invited his Friends to a Treat upon his Birthday, and this Shape in which he succeeded so well being brought into his sight, he pulled off his banqueting Wreath from his Head to put it upon the Figure, which he surveyed with such Pleasure, that he lost his Sense, grew stiff and cold, and unperceived by the Company, expired with Transport.  
Hitherto we have discoursed of the Persona in the larger Acceptation, as it signified amongst them, the entire Stage-Habit. But must acknowledge that it was sometimes taken in a more restrained Sense, and used by Actors for only the Larva or Vizard, as the Larva again is sometimes mentioned to express the Persona entire.  
Martial uses the Word for a Border or Perriwigg, Epigr. 43. Lib. 3. 
Mentiris juvenem tinctis Lentine capillis,  
Tam subito Corvus, qui modo cignus eras;  
Non omnes fallis, scit te Proserpina canum,  
Personam capiti detrahet illa tuo.  But Seneca expressly for a Mask or Vizard, Quid tantopere te supinat? Quid Vultum habitumque oris praevertit ut malis habere Personam quam faciem.  
The Advantages of using these Persona or Disguises on the Stage were, in Comedy, that they might first have Resemblance to the Person imitated, and afterwards adapted for Humour, and to excite Mirth; besides the Consulting the Decency of the Actors, who were in those Days generally too modest to Act barefaced, 
† Yet Nero that Monster having compelled Noblemen to act Parts in a Play, he Commanded them to pull off their Vizards on the Stage, Histrionum apparatu eos patefaciens Hominibus apud quos ipsi paulò ante Magistratum gesserant.  and in usual Habits. In Tragedy the Dress assisted to the Pomp and Show. The Tragedian's Vizard making the Voice to come forth more sonorous, being made with a larger 
* Lucian de Salt describing the Mimick-Mask, says it was Larva pulcherrima, Quae non immane hint ut Tragica.  Mouth that seem Hiare as the Actor spoke, which I could almost suppose Persius to hint at in that Verse, Fabula seu maesto ponatur hianda Tragedo. The Convenience of these Disguises on other occasions, as in Interludes at Sacred Rites (as they called them) is manifest from Servius on our forecited place of 
* Upon the— Baccho caper omnibus aris, etc. Georg. l. 2.  Virgil, Quia necesse erat pro ratione Sacrorum aliqua ludicra & turpia fieri quibus populo possit risus Moveri, qui ea exercebant, propter verecundiam remedium hoc adhibuerunt, ne agnoscerentur.  
Yet were not Disguises Masks and Maskers, employed only in the Service of the Theatre and Temples, but promiscuously used by the Ancients on many other occasions, as in Triumphs, Feasts, Marriages, Funerals, etc. the History whereof would be furnished with many entertaining Circumstances; but I must remember that I am confined to the scanty Limits of a Preface.  
The good Uses that have been made of Vizards and Counterfeit-Habits, without the compass of the Theatre would make no small Collection, but the Abuses of them much greater. This would afford more Horror than Diversion. The yearly Harvest of Wickedness, and evil Consequences occasioned by the Carnival at Venice, give too sufficient Proofs of the Mischief. Larvati took their Appellation from Larva, a Vizard; and Larva from the Lares, whom the Ancients supposed to possess Men's Minds with Madness. This was ascribed as peculiar to those Powers. Can there be greater Demonstration of Distraction and Frenzy of all sorts, than in the Impious Practices and Debaucheries at the forementioned Festival? Can all their Mortifications of the ensuing Lent make any tolerable Amends for the Lewdness then committed? Has the Devil at any time such a Jubilee, where Vice like an Infernal Cebele sees all her black Offspring assembled together? What are the effects of this Masquerade, but Whoredoms, Adulteries, Incests, Brawls, Murders, and a general Corruption of Manners. Pollydor. recites it to the Honour of our English Ancestors, that they had Law in force against Masquerading, Capital fuisse si quis personam induisset. De Rev. Invent. l. 5. c. 2. Ludovicus vives, lib. de Christianâ Faeminâ, thinks he did the Masquerading Ladies no wrong, in affirming, that detrimentum quod sub Personâ earum accepit verecundia citra personam se proferat & ostendat. That they proved after wearing those Disguises just as modest out of their Masques as they were in them. And honest juvenal civilly puts the Question, Quem praestare potest mulier Larvata pudorem?  
But restoring these Guises to their proper Owners, the Stage-Players, let us proceed from the Consideration of th' Larva to our first Enquiry about Farce, and whether or no the Ancients had any such Species of Stage-Poetry.  
In the first place I would ask the Readers Opinion, if he can suppose any more genuine and natural use of those Larvae or Vizards which we have described, than for Farce-Players, especially if we take in those other Implements mentioned by Lucian, de Salt. thus rendered by Marisch. Mitto adscitia pectora & ventres fictitios, adjunctam & arte compositam corporis crassitudinem. One would almost conclude from this Description of their Stage-Properties, that they could be contrived for nothing but Farce.  
I have not yet seen any Definition of Farce, and dare not be the first that ventures to define it. I know not by what Fate it happens (in common Notion) to be the most contemptible sort of the Drama. 'Tis thought to bring least Reputation to an Author. But if the difficulty of the Task were to decide the Case, we should soon alter our Opinion. I would desire him who thinks it an easy thing, to make Trial of it with all the speed he can, it being such a Work 

* Ld. Roscom. Transl.  As every man may think to write,  
And not without much pains be undeceived.   
The reason of the Difficulty I presume to be this, (and the Undertakers will find it true) That Comedy properly so called, is an Imitation of Humane Life, (quicquid agunt homines) and subsists upon Nature; so that whosoever has a Genius to copy her, and will take the Pains, is assured of Success, and all the World affords him Subject. Whereas the business of Farce extends beyond Nature and Probability. But then there are so few Improbabilities that will appear pleasant in the Representation, that it will strain the best Invention to find them out, and require the nicest Judgement to manage them when they are conceived. Extravagant and monstrous Fancies are but sick Dreams, that rather torment than divert the Mind; but when Extravagancy and Improbability happen to please at all, they do it to purpose, because they strike our Thought with greatest Surprise. But to our Question.  
I cannot aver, that the Ancients had Entertainments on the Stage entirely resembling the Harlequin and Scaramouch, but 'tis highly probable that the Satirical Diversions and Interludes invented to 
* As the French now make use of their Farces.  relieve the Heaviness of Tragedy were of this Nature▪ For that they were introduced for Mirth and Raillery, and thereby to help off the serious Action, is expressly told us.  
Carmine qui tragico vilem certavit ob hircum  
Mox etiam egrestes Satyros nudavit, & asper  
Incolumi gravitate, jocum tentavit: eò quod  
Illecebris erat & gratâ Novitate morandus  
Spectator.  
For as Madam le Feure 
* In her admirable Preface to her Version of Amphitryo.  says, the Stage-Satyr; or Satyrizing Scenes must by no means be confounded with Satyrique Poems written by Lucilius, Horace, or Greek Satirist. The business of the Satyr-Actors was not to lash out into long Invectives, only now and then a Elurt of such harmless Sarcasm as used to be sometimes thrown out by Harlequin or Scaramouch, because as Horace adds, 
Ita risores ita commendare dicaoes  
Conveniet Satyros, etc.  Which shows they were to keep within Bounds; and what he subjoins — Ita vertere seria ludo. Seems to imply Drollery, Banter, Buffonery, Vagaries, Whimsies, which are so many Ingredients of Modern Farce. Nay, I have some where read (though I cannot at present recollect my Author) that their Comic Actors used to deliver what they had to say in various and feigned Tones, which was Harlequin's manner.  
Nor will this appear unlikely, if we consider particularly the Gesticulations, Tricks, Feats of Activity and wonderful Performances of another sort of Actors whom they called Mimi and Pantomimi, from their admirable knack at Mimickry; which was not the least of Harlequin's and Scaramouch's Talents. 'Tis unconceivable how expert these Persons were in humorous Actions, as will appear by a few Testimonies very well worth our mentioning.  
Their Performance was so extraordinary, that as Strabo informs us, Lib. 14. their Art was called 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. their Legerdemain Shifts, Slights and Postures, Magical Arts, Praestigia: And further asserts, Eos quam saepissime argumento è Comoediis desumpto varias personas representasse, nunc foeminae, nunc lenonis, nunc Adulteri, nunc temulenti. To which we may add that old Epigram, 
Tot Linguae quot membra viro, mirabilis Ars est,  
Quae facit Articulos, ore tacente, loqui.   
There was no Fable accommodated to the Stage, which these Mute-Actors could not represent by Gestures and Movements of their Body. For as Lucian says, Personis in Scenam introductis, gestibus per omnia responderent, neque ea quae dicuntur ab introductit optimatibus, aut agricolis, aut mendicis discrepabant sed in unoquoque illorum proprietas & excellentia demonstrabantur. In dumb Action and Gestures they could express, and as it were, speak what they pleased. Wherefore 
* Vid. Scalig. Poet. l. 1.  Tigranes amongst all the Rarities the World's Imperial City afforded, begged one of these Pantomimes to serve him as it were for an Interpreter to all Nations.  
Pantomimus (says Cassiod. Var. 4. Epist. ult.) a multifaria imitatione nomen est, idem corpus Herculem designat & venerem, foeminam presentat & marem; Regem facit & Militem; Senam reddit & juvenem ut in uno videas esse multos. And Lucian seeing a Pantomime prepare to personate five Representations, cries, That the Mimic seemed to him to have five Souls, who could exhibit so many Personages with one Body. What was all this but Farce to the Degree of Harlequin with his Cloak, whisked about, and acting a Windmill.  
All this, you'll say, was only Farce of Action, Farce in the Player, nothing on the Poet's Part, no Proof that the Ancients had any written Farce.  
I will not affirm they had any Stage-Play entirely of Harlequin and Scarramouches Cast; but if Molier's Comedies come under the Denomination of Farce, (as every body allows) 'tis plain that both the Greeks and Romans had Farcical Plays. The Comedies of Aristophanes and Plautus are mostly of this Cut, call them Palliatae, Togatae, mixed Comedy, low Comedy, or what you will. Their Old Comedy, generally speaking, had the very Air of Farce. Aristophanes' his Socrates Philosophing in a Basket, etc. is as much Farce as any thing in the Character of Mr. Shadwell's Virtuoso. The Frog and Swimming-Master, Tame Spider, Bottled Air, etc. are not more Humorous and Farcy. Aristophanes' his Frogs were a very Rehearsal of those days; As our Fletcher's Knight of the Burning Pestle was a sort of Quixot on the Stage. Which teaches us, that Farce is not inconsistent with good Sense, because 'tis capable of satire, which is Sense with a Vengeance. The Amphytrio and Menae●h of Plautus through the whole Contrivance and Course of Accidents are all Farce. They were the Originals of Shakespear's Comedy of Errors, and the Italian Trappoline. I would not be a Heretic in Poetry, but Reason and Experience convince us, that the best Comedies of Ben. johnson are near akin to Farce; nay, the most entertaining parts of them are Farce itself. The Alchemist which cannot be read by any sensible Man without Astonishment, is Farce from the opening of the First Scene to the end of the Intreigue. 'Tis Farce but such Farce as bequeathes that Blessing (pronounced by Horace) on him that shall attempt the like.  
— Sudet multum frustraque laboret  
Ausus idem.  
The whole business is carried on with Shuffles, Sham and Banter, to the greatest degree of Pleasantness in the World. For Farce (in the Notion I have of it) may admit of most admirable Plot, as well as subsist sometimes without it. Nay, it has its several Species or Distinctions as well as Comedy amongst the Romans Stataria mixta, etc. but still 'twas Comedy. So Comedy may admit of Humour, which is a great Province of Farce; but than it might be such Humour as comes within compass of Nature and Probability: For where it exceeds these Bounds it becomes Farce. Which Freedom I would allow a Poet, and thank him into the Bargain, provided he has the Judgement so to manage his Excursion, as to heighten my Mirth without too grossly shocking my Senses. I cannot call to mind one Humour in all Terence's Plays, but what he might have taken by Observation, all lies within the Compass of Conversation; but therefore Caesar (amidst all his Beauties and Excellencies) says he, wants the Vis Comica, which made Plaurus so diverting. There is so much said for these two Authors by their respective Admirers, that a Man knows not where to give the Preference. All that I would presume to say, ●s, That I esteem them both admirable in their way; that one chose to write pure Comedy in the strictest Notion, and the other liberty of extending Comedy sometimes into Farce; and each got his Point, Terence of being exact, and Plautus pleasant. Neat Terence, witty Plautus, says our greatest 
* Ben. jalmson 's Verses on Shakespeare.  Master of Comedy, who scorned not to Copy sometimes from the Ancients; yet for one Hint he has taken from Terence, he has borrowed three from Plautus. I will instance only that pleasant Passage in his Alchemist, where the Confederates banter and play upon Surly disguised like a Spanish Don, not supposing that he understood them. We find the same Humour in the Paenulus of Plautus, where the old Carthaginian speaks in the Punic Language; Milphio a Roman Servant plays the wag, and drolls upon him, under pretence of interpreting for him; the Stranger suffers him to run himself out of breath with his Ribaldry, and then surprises him with thundering out as good Latin as the best of them could speak. Vulpone's playing the Mountebank in the Fox is Farce; and Sir Politicks turning himself into a Tortoise. This Passage however is undiverting, which proves (as I said) the Nicety of Judgement required in managing Improbabilities. Had this been told to the Audience like other Projects which are only recited, it might have made a pleasant Relation.  
Now if we inquire into the best of our Modern Comedies, we should find the most diverting parts of them to be Farce, or near akin to it. Remembrancer john in the Cutter, Sir Martin turned East-India Gentleman, the Trial Scene in the Spanish Friar, where Gomes menaced by the Colonel in dumb show, runs Counter in his Evidence, says and unsays in a Breath, till he confounds himself and the Court. Such Pleasantry as this is I cannot think below its great Author, who in the Serious Scenes of the same Play, has shown us the Refinedness and Perfection of the English Style. Quintilian, speaking of Repartees, after these Words, 
* Lib. vi. c. 3. de Risu.  Long venustiora omnia in respondendo quam in provocando; That more Wit's required to retort a Jest than to break one, adds this Expression, Accedit difficultati quod ejus rei nulla exercitatio est, nulli praeceptores. The same may be said of Farce; there are no Rules to be prescribed for that sort of Wit, no Patterns to Copy, 'tis altogether the Creature of Imagination. And our English Mecaenas (to whose Judgement the Muses willingly subscribe) has declared that he approves Genius and Invention beyond the best Performances of Imitation. Such is the Farce-Writers Task. Neither can I assume any thing to myself by the Preference I have given to Farce on account of the Trapoline, which I only new modelled: I pretend but to have Improved what I would be proud to have Invented.   

PROLOGUE  
Written by a Friend of the Author's Upon the first Drinking of Islington Water.  
Gallants,  
WHo would have thought to have seen so many here,  
At such a rambling Season of the Year;  
And, what's more strange, All well and Sound, to the Eye!  
Pray Gentlemen forgive me if I Lie.  
I thought this Season to have turned Physician,  
But now I see small hopes in that condition:  
Yet how if I should hire a Black flowered Jump,  
And ply at Islington, Doctor to Sadler's Pump?  
But first let me consult old Erra Pater,  
And see what he advises in the matter.  
Let's see—  
Venus and Mars, I find in Aries are,  
In the Ninth House— a dull dry Bobbing Year.  
The Price of Mutton, will run high, 'tis thought,  
And Vizard Masks will fall to ten a Groat.  
The Moon's in Scorpio's House or Capricorns,  
Friends of the City govern well your Horns:  
Your Wives will have a mighty Trade this Quarter,  
I find they'll never leave their Natural Charter.  
For once take my Advice as a true Friend,  
When they a Walk to the new Wells pretend.  
If you'll avoid your Fate quick hasten after,  
They use more ways to Cool, than Drinking Water.   


The Persons.  
Lavinio, The Great Duke of Tuscany.  
Brunetto, alias Horatio, Prince of Savoy.  
Barberino  
Alberto.  
Lords, Councillors to Lavinio.  
Trappolin. A Parasite, Pimp, Fidler, and Buffoon, transformed by Magic, and Usurper to Lavinio.  
Mago. A Conjurer.  
Captain of the Guards.  
Isabel. The Duchess.  
Prudentia. Sister to Lavinio.  
Flametta. Trappolin's Sweetheart.  
Women. Puritan. Ambassadors.  
Servants and Attendants.   
The SCENE FLORENCE.   
A Duke and no Duke.  

ACT I.  
Trappolin and Flametta. Trap. 
FOR ever thine Flametta.  Fla. 
Thanks my Dear.  
But am not I a fond Fool to believe you,  
When you have been from me these two long days?  
I'm sensible I love you but too well,  
For truly Dear you are a naughty man.  Trap. 
Pretty Rogue! how she fires my heart! now could I cry like any roasted Lobster.— What would old Lord Barberino give for one such kind word from her. But young and poor as she is, she is yet most constant and Virtuous.— Not that I care much for Virtue neither.— Alas my Dear, I have been much oppressed with Business since I saw thee. My Honour was at stake for procuring Convenients for no less than five Ministers of State. It'as' been dead trading of late, but 'tis a comfort to see times mend, now we are upon our Matrimony.  Fla. 
Let me Conjure you leave these vicious courses,  
You must indeed, or we must never marry;  
But you will be my Convert and Reform.  Trap. 
All in good time Love; it becomes me to see my Betters go before me, when I do mend I shall certainly do it to purpose, I am so long about it.— In the mean time I give thee leave to be honest; and I think that's fair.—  Enter Barberino and Officers. 
Whose here my Rival Lord?  Barb. 
Here is the Villain with his handsome Wench,  
And what (afflicts me more) an honest One;  
I have these many weeks attempted her,  
But neither Threats nor Presents can prevail,  
She must be virtuous, or her Poverty  
Could ne'er withstand the Offers I have made;  
Yet were she virtuous she would ne'er allow  
This wicked Pander so familiar with her;  
This Fiddling Parasite, Buffoon and Beggar:  
But on pretence of his enormities,  
I have procured this Order from the Duke  
For his immediate banishment from Florence.  
Most certainly, he bears some Spell about him,  
And when he's once removed, I shall succeed.  Trap. 
Again my Dear— My good Lord Barberino, your Honour's humble Servant.— For this free Promise, Love, I ne'er enough can thank Thee— Your Lordships to command— No Fortune shall divide or change our Wills.— Your Honours humble Slave— What's Wealth or Power where Hearts consent like ours?— Your Lordship's Vassal— When thou dost sigh, thy Trappolin shall weep.— Your Honour always shall Command Me— And when thou singsed—  Fla. 
We are observed.  
Learn to be honest, and I am Thine for ever.  [Exit. Trap. 
I beg your Lordship's pardon. Your Lordship saw how I was employed. The poor wretch has taken a Fancy to me, and your Lordship knows I am a Person of liberal Education: That I bear not a Breast of Flint, nor was Nursed with the Milk of Hyrcanian Bulls. Now if your Lordship has any thing to Command me, here I stand ready, I'll fido Trappolino, your Honour's humble Servant in all things possible and impossible.  Barb. 
You are a saucy peremptory Villain,  
And have too long escaped the stroke of Justice.  Off. 
Nor is there such a Coward in all Tuscany,  
He's able to corrupt an Army.  Trap. 
Fear not that Signior Capitano, for I never mean to come into One.  Barb. 
So lewd a Pander ne'er infected City,  
What Wife or Daughter of the Noblest Blood  
Is safe, where such a Hellish Factor breathes.  Trap. 
And can your Lordship on your Honour tax me  
For want of Diligence in my Vocation?  Barb. 
Industrious hast thou been in Villainy,  
But Florence must no longer be the Scene;  
This is your Warrant, Captain, from the Duke,  
To drive this Miscreant from our City Gates.  
And when he's seen again in Tuscany.  
That Minute forfeits his abandoned life.  
Thus has our Duke decreed.  Trap. 
At whose request?  Barb. 
On mine.  Trap. 
I am glad to find your Honour has so much Interest in His Highness, and therefore make choice of your Honour as the most proper person to solicit my Repeal.  Barb. 
Audacious Slave.  Trap. 
His Highness knows travelling is chargeable, and besides my Stomach is of no ordinary Dimensions.  Barb. 
Away with him if he dispute your Orders,  
Call for the Parish Whips to your Assistance.  Trap, 
Signior Officer you may take his Lordship's word when he says a Thing. You hear his Lordship hath private business with me, and desires your absence— For certain then his Highness is upon Treaty of Marriage with the milanese; your Lordship and I, were always of opinion it would come to that.  Barb. 
Such hardened Impudence was never seen.  
Take him away.  Trap. 
My Lord, my Lord— Such a Primrose in a Corner for your Lordship, never blown upon my Lord,—  Barb. 
Force him along.  Trap. 
Flametta my Lord, what says your Lordship to Flametta? There's Eyes and Bubbies! Shall I bring her to your Lordship— Nay my Lord, my Lord.  (they bear him off) [Exeunt. Enter Duke Lavinio, Alberto, Guards, and Attendants. Lau. 
I'm stung with Adders and shall go distracted;  
Let me have breathing room.  Alb. 
Your Highness knows  
I ever have been watchful for your Honour,  
And next to that I would preserve your quiet.  Lau. 
Choice Method, first blow poison in my Ears,  
And after that preach patience to me.  Alb. 
I fear my Duty has been too officious;  
Dread Sir, reflect where was the mighty harm  
In holding talk with him by open day?  
I hope this fanning will incense the flame.  [Aside. Lau. 
What harm? the very Bawd to their desires  
Could never have Forehead to dispute the harm:  
A Virgin and a Princess seen to walk  
And hold discourse apart with one of Race  
Obscure, at least unknown, and no harm in't?  
'Twere lewd, though they had only prayed together:  
Bring the Audacious Traitor to Our Presence.  (Brunetto brought in here. Enter Brunetto. Bru. 
Dread Sir, and twice my Noble Conqueror,  [Kneeling. 
First in the Field, in which yourself alone  
Could stop my Conquest with resistless Might,  
And since in Generous Princely Favours.  Lau. 
Rise.  
I am not used to hearken after Praise,  
Or Thanks for Benefits by me conferred,  
For hitherto they always fell on Merit,  
Which can at best be called but paying Debts.  
Only in this Acknowledgement, I hear  
Ingratitude from its own mouth condemned:  
This Lord, the watchful Argus of my Honour,  
Has charged you with a Crime will slain the Worth  
You showed in Battle, and make Valour blush.  Alb. 
I but informed your Highness what I saw.  Bru. 
He's prejudiced, I killed his Son in fight  
In Service of my Prince, as he of you.  Lau. 
I have a Sister, dear to me as Fame,  
Our Royal Father's only Care and Comfort,  
‛ My Dukedom (said he dying) I bequeath thee,  
‛ A slender Present and thy Due by Birth;  
‛ But with it all the Glory of our Race,  
‛ The spotless Honour of the Medici's;  
‛ Preserve the Princely Blood from base-born taint,  
‛ But most secure it in the weaker part,  
‛ And match Prudentia with her Peer in Birth;  
‛ So shall I with my Ancestors have rest.  
‛ Now Sir, how far you have infringed these Orders,  
And brought a guilt unknown upon my head.  
I leave yourself to judge: Confess your Crime,  
And Torture shall revenge it; smother it,  
And Tortures shall extort it.  Bru. 
My charmed Soul  
Came panting to my Lips to meet your Charge,  
And beg forgiveness for its high presumption.  
But since you talk of Tortures, I disdain  
The servile Threats, and dare your utmost Rage;  
I love the Princess, and have urged my passion,  
Tho' I confess all hopeless of return.  
This with a Soldiers freedom I avouch,  
Who scorns to lodge that Thought he dares not own:  
Now Sir, Inflict what punishment you please.  
But let me warn you, that your vengeance reach  
My head, or neither of us can have rest.  Lau. 
Chains, Straw and Darkness! this is mere distraction!  
To Prison with him; you that waited on him  (They lead off Brunetto. 
Be now his Guard: Thin Diet and no Light;  
Such usage may restore him— Vengeance thus  
Converts to Charity.  Enter Prudentia. 
Prudentia,  
Your Entrance has prevented me a Visit  
To your Apartment, and half saved a Chiding;  
Yet I must tell you, you have been to blame,  
But Sister learn reservedness for the future,  
Such as becomes your Quality, and hold  
That place which Nature and unspotted Virtue  
Has hitherto secured you in my Heart.  Pru. 
Most gracious Sir, If e'er my secret Soul  
Admits one thought that is not first submitted  
For Approbation to your Royal Will,  
The Curse of Disobedience fall upon me;  
As I in you have found a Father's Love,  
I shall repaid with more than Filial Duty.  Lau. 
Virtue and Honour ever guide thy way.  
Thou'rt solitary, but shalt quickly enjoy  
A sweet Companion in our Royal Bride.  
Sforza the Duke of Milan, our old Friend,  
Who always in our Wars hath sent us aid,  
Here offers me the beauteous Isabel  
His Daughter for my Wife, and instantly  
We will to Milan on the Expedition.  
That Treatment once determined, we'll return  
To Florence, where we'll celebrate our Nuptials  
With that Magnificence becomes our State.  Pru 
Go and be happy Sir in your fair Choice,  Barb. 
That Blessing's only wanting to our State.  Lau. 
Lord Barberino and Alberto, you  
Whom I have always found most faithful to me,  
To you I do commit the Government  
Of Tuscany till my return; your Power  
I leave unlimited, keep open Ear  
To just Complaints: Allow and Act no wrong;  
Look closely to our Prisoner Brunetto.  Alb. 
So may your wished Return be safe and speedy.  Lau. 
Sister, your tears afflict us; a few Weeks  
Shall grace our Court with the fair milanese.  
Led on, 'tis time we were upon our way.  Exeunt.  

SCENE. A Desert.  Enter Trappolin. Trap. 
THis banished life is very doleful— What an inhuman Duke was this to banish me, that never banished him? At every step I take, my poor Flametta comes into my mind: She met me at the Towns end, and would fain have come along with me, but that I told her she was not banished and might not.— Methinks this is a very melancholy place, I have not met a living Body yet, but they had wings or four legs. Let me bethink me where to betake myself, I would to Rome, and turn Friar, but that I have too much Learning. A Man of my Occupation might once have singered the Polux Ryals in Venice, but now the Gentry go a more compedious way to work, and Pimp for one another; ' tquite spoils all trading.  [Soft Music in the Air.] 
What sound is this? Sure this place must needs be haunted: This with a good Dinner were something, but as it is, it feels as if they were playing upon my small Guts.  [Storm and Thunder.] 
So now, my airy Fiddlers are fallen out amongst themselves; I liked their first strain somewhat better. I would his Highness would come and banish me from this place too. [Storm again, Mago the Conjurer rises.] What's here? a decrepit old man? Now and I were sure he was of mortal Race, I would set upon him in the name of Famine— But if he should blow Brimstone in my Face there were a hopeful beginner baulked.  Mag. 
Son, Thou art Banished— I know all the matter.  Trap. 
'Tis true old Friend, I am banished— But how the Devil came you to know it?  Mag. 
Why, the Devil told me.  Trap. 
The Devil he did?— Why 'twas even his own doing, and so he could give you the best account of it.  Mag. 
Be not dismayed, Preferment waits upon thee,  
I am so far from hurting thee,  
That from poor Trappolin, I'll make thee a Prince.  Trap. 
Look you there again, he knows my name too— For certain, this must be the Devil's kinsman— A Prince! poor Trappolin thanks you Father Conjurer, but has no mind to domineer in Hell: I know where your Territories lie.  Mag. 
Besotted Wretch, Thou dost not understand me;  
I tell thee Son, thou shalt return to Florence—  Trap. 
And be hanged there for my labour.  Mag. 
Be honoured there, exalted o'er thy Fellows.  Trap. 
On a Gibbet.  Mag. 
There shalt thou shine in wealth, and roll in plenty,  
The Treasures of the East shall Court thy wearing;  
The haughty Nobles shall seem Pigmies to thee;  
All Nature shall be ransacked for thy Board,  
And Art be tired to find thee choice of Banquets;  
Each day and hour shall yield new Scenes of pleasure,  
And crowding Beauties sue for thy Embraces.  Trap. 
Sure I have pimped for this old Fellow formerly, he's so kind— Well, as you say, Father Conjurer (on some private Considerations that I have) this may not do amiss: But how shall it be done?  Mag. 
By Eo, Meo, and Areo.  Trap. 
What they mean, I know not, but I am satisfied 'tis by going to the Devil for it, and so much for that matter.  Mag. 
Here, seat thee in this Chair.  Trap. 
To be shaved Father Conjurer by one of your black Valets? I shall lather under their hands without a Ball.  Mag. 
Sat still, and see the wonders of my Art; Eo, Meo, and Areo, rise.  Trap. 
What will become of this temporal Body of mine?— I am glued to my Seat here.— But hear you good Father, must this Retinue of yours needs appear?  Mag. 
Of indispensible necessity.  Trap. 
Then good Father let them appear invisibly, I have no great inclination to their Company: For to tell you the truth, I like yours none of the best, you are like the Devil enough to serve my turn.  Mag. 
Now by the most prevailing Spell  
That e'er amazed the Powers of Hell;  
That midnight Witches ever tried,  
While Cynthia did her Cresent hide;  
While watchful Dogs to bark forbore,  
The Wolf to howl, the Sea to roar;  
While Robin does his midnight Chare,  
And Plowmen sweat beneath the Mare;  
By all the terrors of my Skill,  
Ascend, ascend, and execute my will.  [Lightning and Thunder, Spirit's rise, and sink down with Trappolin. 
Now proud Lavinio, little dost thou know  
This secret practice of my just Revenge.  [After a Dance the Spirits rise again, with Trappolin dressed exactly like the Duke Lavinio. Trap. 
Oh Father what metal do you take me to be made of? I am not used to travel under ground? Oh for a Dram of the Bottle of a Quart or two! Call you this preferment? Marry he deserves it that goes to the Devil for't, but I see no preferment neither.  Mag. 
Thou dost not know thyself, look in that Mirror.  [Shows him a Looking glass.] Trap. 
Whose there, the Duke?— Your Highness is well returned: Your faithful Servant Yrappolin begs of your Grace to call him home, and hang up this old Wizard; he'll Conjure your Grace out of your wits else, and your Subjects out of your Dominions.— What's he gone again? He's for his frisque under ground too. I have made way for him, I have worked like any Mole, and made holes you may thrust Churches through.  Mag. 
'Tis thou thyself that represents the Duke;  
What in that Glass thou saw'st is but thy Picture.  Trap. 
If that be my Picture I am the Picture of the Duke.  Mag. 
And shalt be taken for the Duke himself.  Trap. 
The Dress is just like him, and for aught I know, it is Dress that makes a Duke.— Let me see, what must I say now? my Highness is your Highness' humble Servant.— This Conjurer is a rare Fellow.  Mag. 
As thou didst here seem to thyself.  
So shalt thou to the world appear the perfect Duke:  
To Florence then and take thy State upon thee.  Trap. 
Trust me for Duking of it: I long to be at it. I know not why every man should not be Duke in his turn— Father Conjurer, time is precious with us great Persons: However, I should be glad to see you at Court. It may be the better for you, for as I take it, we shall have some change of Ministers, and so Farewell.  Mag. 
Stay Son, Take this enchanted powder with thee,  
Preserve it carefully, for at thy greatest need  
'Twill give thee old: When any Foe assaults,  
Cast but this Magic Powder in his face,  
And thou shalt see most wonderful effects.  Trap. 
Good, Now I'm satisfied I am the Duke  
Which some shall rue: Good Father, Fare you well.  
Eo, Meo, and Areo— Pass.  [Exit. Conju. vanishes.  

SCENE. The Palace.  Barberino and Flametta. Flam. 
I Do beseech your Honour to repeal  
My only joy, my banished Trappolin;  
Take pity on a helpless Virgin's tears,  
Abandoned to Distress— You must— You will—  
For as our sovereign left his Power with you  
He left his Mercies too.  Barb. 
Her tears inflame me:  
And were this Dukedom which I hold in trust  
My due by Birth, I'd give it in exchange  
For this sweet Innocence, this Artless Beauty.  
Indeed (my pretty One) you wrong your Charms;  
Nay I must say, you wrong your Virtue too  
By this concern, for an abandoned Slave.  
Devoted to all Crimes; forget and scorn him.  Fla. 
I gave my heart before I knew his Vices  
But it will be my triumph to reclaim him,  
I do beseech your Honour to call him home.  Barb. 
And what Return may I expect for this▪  Fla. 
Goodness has always been it's own reward;  
But to convince you that your Courtesy  
Shall not be wholly thrown away upon me,  
By Day or Night you shall command—  Barb. 
What?  Fla. 
My Prayers.  Barb. 
A very hopeful Recompense;  
What Statesman ever yet took Prayers for pay?  
Deluded Maid, thou dost not know thy worth,  
This Beauty must not be a Beggar's Prize,  
Designed by Nature for a Nobler Sphere.  
What can this Minion whose repeal you seek  
Perform for thee what can a Peasant do  
To deck thy Youth, or to enrich thy Age?  
Come be advised, here's Gold and Jewels for thee,  
The Pride, the Pomp of Nature shall be thine:  
Make all your study how to please yourself,  
Fortune shall wait to see your wish performed.  Fla. 
Are you our Prince, my Lord?  Barb. 
What means that Question?  Fla. 
If you were,  
The Prince should be denied.  Barb. 
Then much more I.  
Why do I trifle thus? I am no Prince,  
Yet will not be denied;— Who waits without?  Fla. 
Heaven shield me! You intent no Violence.  Barb. 
What I intent is Love; if you refuse,  
You make the Rape, that's all: Who waits I say?  Enter Servant. Fla. 
Help Heaven!  Seru. 
My Lord, my Lord most unexpected News!  Barb. 
Come near  
And bear this peevish Girl to my Apartment,  
she'll thank me for the Force.  Seru. 
The Duke, my Lord, his Highness.  Barb. 
Take her Slave.  Seru. 
His Highness is returned from Milan.  Barb. 
Ha!  
The Duke returned from Milan? Thou art mad.  Seru. 
Just now arrived my Lord, and coming hither.  Barb. 
Here!  
Dispose of her as I commanded thee,  
Till I find out the meaning of this Dream.  
Ha! that's his voice— And here he comes in Person:  
Let her go Slave.— Away dear Maid, away.  [Puts her out. Enter Trappolin with his Spirits invisible. Alberto from the other side. Barb. 
Great Sir,  
Upon our knees we welcome your Return,  Trap. 
And upon our Legs we take it:— Him! him!  [He struts about. Alb. 
Your Highness comes unlooked for, we did not expect  
This happy time so soon by fourteen days.  Barb. 
So please: your Grace, where is our Duchess?  Trap. 
Your Duchess will not come till the Gods know when; for my part I know nothing of the matter. I left my Train behind me and came unlooked for, to see how you Governed in my absence, which I fear you have done scurvily enough.  Alb. 
How wild he talks!  Trap. 
Eo, Meo, and Areo, well stuck to me I'faith— Well Lords, you never pity my Misfortunes; I have been robbed in my journey, had my Horse taken from me, and if it had not been for Father Conjurer.  Barb. 
How Sir?  Trap. 
I say, if I had not been a Conjurer, I had ne'er got home in my Royal skin;— Well stuck there again, Boys, well stuck.  Alb. 
What means your Highness?  Trap. 
Our Highness means to take exact account of Affairs; I left an honest Fellow here, called Trappolin. What's become of him?  Barb. 
Your Highness gave me charge to banish him.  Trap. 
Why there's the Pillar of our State gone. You took him for Buffoon, but I found him one of the best Politicians in Christendom; other Countries will value him, and for aught I know, he's a Prince by this time— Eo, Meo, and Areo true Lads still.  Alb. 
I am amazed!  Trap. 
Hear me, you Lord Barb. I love dispatch in Affairs, tell me therefore quickly what you take to be the duty of a Statesman?  Barb. 
To study first his Royal Master's profit,  
And next to that his pleasure; to pursue  
No sinister design of private gain;  
Nor pillage from the Crown to raise his Heirs,  
His base-born Brood in Pomp above the Race  
Of old descended Worth; to know Desert,  
And turn the Prince's favour on his Friends;  
And keep an open Ear to just Complaints.  Trap. 
Why there ' 'tis. I have travelled, and can tell you what a Statesman should be. I will have him ten times prouder than his Master; I, and ten times richer too. To know none of his old Friends, when he is once in Office; to inform himself who has Merit, that he may know whom to do nothing for; to make Solicitors wait seven years to no purpose, and to bounce thr'o a whole Regiment of 'em, like a Soldier through the Gauntlet.  Alb. 
This is mere Frenzy.  Trap. 
And there is another good Friend of mine, Brunetto, where is he?  Alb. 
Dread Sir, You Highness knows that for his presumption in Courting of your Sister, you confined him.  Trap. 
Nothing but lying in this world! I confine him: 'Tis well known I never had a Sister in my life.  Barb. 
No Sister, Sir?  Trap. 
No, jack Sauce, none that's worth imprisoning a Friend for; honest Brunetto I'll be with thee in the twinkling of a— Eo, Meo, and Areo, fit fast; pass.  [Exit. Alb. 
He cannot counterfeit so much.  Barb. 
I know not;  
But if he do not, he is surely mad.  Alb. 
The heavens be merciful!  
What wild fantastic things he does? And talks  
Of Eo, Meo, and Areo; Names  
Unheard of in the Court before.  Barb. 
Some Milan Counts I warrant you.  
This kindness to Brunetto is most strange.  Alb. 
Let's after him, and wait his better leisure.  [Exeunt.  

SCENE. A Prison.  Re-enter Trappolin. Trap. 
WHat a dismal Place is here? I'll have it carried bodily out of my Dukedom. Alas poor Brunetto, what has he done to be shut up here?— Oh here he comes!  Enter Brunetto. Bru. 
What can the Duke design by coming hither?  
For certain, it must be to see me strangled:  
Well let him execute his Tyrant will,  
For Death itself were Mercy to this Dungeon,  
Great Prince.  Trap. 
He makes a very low leg, but I scorn to be out done in Courtesy.  Bru. 
What can this cruel Mockery intend?  
Your Highness does forget yourself extremely  
I am your Prisoner.  Trap. 
My best Friend Brunetto.  Bru. 
I am astonished! Sir, upon my knees  
I do congratulate your safe Return.  Trap. 
And upon my Knees I do embrace thee, honest Brunetto.  Bru. 
I know not what to think or speak.  
I do beseech your Highness Rise.  Trap. 
Not without thee: Therefore up I say; away with Compliments, I cannot abide them.  Bru. 
You honour me above expression.  Trap. 
A Fig for honour, I love thee man; Sirrah Jailer, bring Chairs hither presently.  Bru. 
Your Highness.—  Trap. 
Away with Highness, I say, away with it; call me Lavin, plain Medicos.  Bru. 
Sure I am awake, this is no Dream?  Trap. 
We will live merrily together, i'saith we will! Come Sirrah what a while have you been bringing these Chairs? I have known a Pimp made a Prince in less time. Brunetto sit thee down, sit down I say.  Bru. 
I will attend your Highness on my Knees.  Trap. 
Why, I am not thy Father, am I? Sat thee here.  Bru. 
On the right hand— That must not be.  Trap. 
Why an'thou wilt have it there, there let it be— But hold, I am mistaken, that is on the left hand; that must not be: Dost thou think I have no manners in me.  [They remove their Chairs several times.] Bru. 
There is no remedy, I must obey.  Trap. 
Very well,— What now art thou afraid of me? Marry an'thou drawsed back, I'll draw back too: Therefore sit still I say, and let us talk.  Bru. 
Great Sir, I am unworthy of these honours.  
Your Noblest Florentines would be most proud  
To be thus graced.  Trap. 
I love not these set speeches. Let us talk as if we were in a Tavern together.— Now, I prithee Man, how camsed thou into this damned Dungeon?  Bru. 
ay, now the Storm comes,— Pardon me Dread Sovereign.  Trap. 
What, on thy Knees again? Dost take me for Mahomet? As well as I can pardon thee, I do pardon thee whatever it be, tho' thou hast killed every body.  Bru. 
Wherefore this Torture Sir, before my Death,  
'Tis Tyranny; your Highness knows my Crime  
Was in aspiring to your Royal Sister.  Trap. 
Wast thou laid up for that: Alas for thee! Hast married her?  Bru. 
Beseech your Grace.  Trap. 
Well, An'thou hast not, I would thou hadsed; get her consent, and here I give thee mine. So come along with me to Dinner.  Bru. 
Your Highness shall command me to my Death.  Trap. 
I say, Thou shalt have her, and if I had two Sisters thou shouldsed have them both— Who waits there? [Barberino, Alberto, Attendants Enter.] Now my good Lords, you see this Apartment, and you thought sit to have Brunetto shut up here for making Love to my Sister.  Alb. 
It was your Highness' Judgement and Command.  Trap. 
Jailer, take me these two Coxcombly Lords, and keep them under Lock: They are never well but when they are doing mischief. In my Conscience and Soul, here is such encumbrance of perplexity, that I protest— Come along Friend.  [Exit. with Brunetto. Barb. 
Why, this is mere Distraction.  Alb. 
We must endure it.  [They go in.   

ACT II.  

SCENE. The Palace.  Enter Trappolin. Trap. 
THis Duke's Life is very pleasant! Did ever any man come to preferment upon lighter terms, I am made a Prince; and Father Conjurer goes to the Devil for't.  Enter Flametta. 
Whose here my pretty little Rogue? I mar'le what makes her at Court, tho' I fear this Affair will cost Lord Barberino a Castration.  Fla. 
Here is the Duke alone, whom I so long  
Have sought for, to petition for repeal  
Of my Dear Trappolin:—  
I do beseech your Grace  
Take pity on a Miserable Maid  
Bereaved of all her Joys.  Trap. 
All her Joys, that's Me!  Fla. 
I humbly beg  
Poor banished Trappolin may be recalled.  Trap. 
Dear Honeysuckle, she even makes me weep.  Fla. 
Great Sir, That you have Noble thoughts.  Trap. 
I have so.  Fla. 
The World is Witness, and by Consequence  
A heart full of Commiseration.  Trap. 
'Tis so; What a torment is this now, that I must counterfeit with her? Fair Maiden rise; What is your Name?  Fla. 
Flametta.  Trap. 
Thou shalt far the better for that:— Trouble not yourself, your Trappolin shall be recalled; and I would I were sacrificed, if I do not love him as well as I do myself.— Who comes yonder? the Princess.  Enter Prudentia. Fla. 
This is most Gracious.—  Trap. 
Some of my roguy Lords talked of hanging him, if ere he come home again; but upon my Honour I swear it, that if they hang him, they shall hang me; and so set thy heart at rest.  Fla. 
Heaven bless your Highness.  [Exit. Trap. 
If this be the Princess, I'll be sworn Brunetto was in the Right of it.  Pru. 
Ten thousand Welcomes, Sir: I never found  
Such tedious hours since you left the Court.  Trap. 
Fair Lady, come hither— You are our Sister you'll say.  Prud. 
I hope my Conduct Sir, has ne'er given Cause  
For you to doubt of my Relation to you:  
I am your Sister Sir, and Servant.  Trap. 
I am sorry for't.  Prud. 
I do beseech your Highness, on what ground?  Trap. 
For a Carnal Reason, that shall be Nameless. But since we are Brother and Sister, we must content ourselves as well as we can.  Prud. 
I am surprised at this: I heard indeed  
His Language and Deportment was much altered;—  
Sir, I am glad to see you safe returned,  
But should have been more joyful, had you brought  
Your Duchess with you.  Trap. 
She'll come soon enough, never fear it: But Sister, To our Affair in hand (for I am Vengeance hungry.) At my Return here I found Brunetto in Goal, and it appeared to be for Love of you: Tell me Sister, can you fancy him?  Prud. 
Your Will, Sir, is the square of all my Actions;  
I have no Aversion for Brunetto's Passion:  
Besides, his Quality, tho' yet concealed,  
Is worthy of your Blood, he is a Prince;  
His Name Horatio, and the second Son  
To Savoy's Duke.  Trap. 
My Friend a Prince; besworn I no more thought of seeing him a Prince than myself: Sister, you shall have my Consent to marry him, and so there's an end. [A confused noise without.] What's there to do?  Enter Officer. Off. 
Dread Sir, This is the Day and Hour, in which your Highness is wont to determine Causes in your Chair of State here. And accordingly here are several Persons come to appeal to your Highness for Justice.  Trap. 
What! Justice before I have Dined? I tell you, it is a dangerous thing: I had like to have been hanged once myself, because the Judge was Fasting;— Well, let them enter. [He takes the Chair of State.] Well, here sits the Government: In the first place I would have the Court take notice, that in Affairs of State, I think that words are not to be multiplied, and I think so I shall not do so; and if I do not, no body else must: So that in this Assembly, he that speaks little, will speak better than he that talks much; and he that says nothing, better than they both.  [The People being brought in, A Woman with her Daughter stand forth.] Wom. 
I do beseech your Highness to do me Justice;  
I have lived long with Fame amongst my Neighbours;  
My Husband too bore Office in the Parish  
Till he was killed in fight for your Highness,  
And left me but this dear and only Daughter,  
Whom this old Sinner has debauched,  
And spoiled her Fortune.  Trap. 
Debauched? That is to say, lay with her? and got her Maidenhead.  Wom. 
Your Highness has a most discerning Judgement.  Trap. 
And how did he do this? Lawfully by the help of a Pimp, or without it?  Wom. 
O most unlawfully! For Sir, he has a Wife and Son too of his own Inches.  Trap. 
A Son of this own Inches; good,  
Then the Decision of this Cause is easy:  
Do you hear Woman, we will have that Son debauched, you shall get that Son's Maidenhead, and spoil his Fortune.  Wom. 
I do beseech your Grace, what?—  Trap. 
No replying after Sentence.— Whose Cause is next.  [Another Woman stands forth.] Wom. 
Great Duke of Tuscany, vouchsafe to hear me:  
I am a poor and helpless Widow, one  
That had no Comfort left me but my Child,  
Whom this vile Minion Whipp the Coachman here  
Being Drunk, drove over him and left him dead.  
I do beseech your Highness, make my Case  
Your own, and think what sad Distress—  Trap. 
Hold, hold, I will have no flourishing— This Cause requires some half a Minute's Consideration more than the former: Whipp you say, being drunk drove over your Child and killed him: why look you Woman, Drink will make a Coach man a Prince, and Vice versâ by the Rule of Proportion, a Prince a Coachman, so that this may be my own Case another time; however, that shall make no obstruction of Justice:— Therefore Whipp shall lie with you, and be suspended from driving, till he has got you another Child.—  Wom. 
So please your Grace, this is still worse.  Trap. 
No replying after Sentence.— Whose next?  [A Puritan stands forth.] Pur. 
So please your temporal Authority.  Trap. 
How now! my mortified Brother of Geneva, what carnal Controversy are you engaged in?  Pur. 
Verily, there is nothing carnal in my Cause: I have sustained violence, much violence, and must have much Compensation from the ungodly.  Trap. 
What is your Grievance?  Pur. 
I will pour it forth in the words of Sincerity.  Trap. 
I care not a Farthing for Sincerity, let me have it in Brevity.  Pur. 
This Person here is by Occupation a Mason or Tiler, as the Language of the world termeth it; whilst therefore I stood contemplating a new Mansion that I had prepared unto myself at the same time that this Person occupied his Vocation aloft thereon, or rather should have occupied; such was his wicked negligence, that he fell from the top of the building most unconscionably upon my outward man, even with all his carnal weight, and almost bruised me unto the Death, I being clad in thin Array (through the immoderate heat of the Season,) namely, five Cassocks or Coats, seven Cloaks, and one dozen of quilted Caps.  Trap. 
Believe me Sirs, a most important matter! If such enormities go unpunished, what Subject can be safe? Why, if any perverse Fellow take a Pique against his Neighbour, it is but getting up 8 or 10 or 14 stories high, and so fall down upon him as he stands thinking no harm in the Street: I do therefore Decree, That this Tiler shall stand below, while you get upon the Battlements of the House, and fall down upon him.  Pur. 
This is still most monstrous.  Trap. 
As for petty Causes, let them wait till we have Dined— Eo, Meo, and Areo!— Come along Sister.  [Exeunt. Enter Duke Lavinio, Isabel the Duchess, Ladies, and Attendants. Lau. 
My heart's best Treasure, charming Isabel;  
You are most welcome to the Court of Florence,  
And when I lose the sense of such a Blessing;  
And cease to make your happiness my study,  
Let me become a Tributary Lord,  
And hold my Birthright at another's will.  Isab. 
Dread Sir, I know and prise my happiness:  
Blessed doubly in your Fortunes and your Love.  Lau. 
My absence from Affairs so long, requires  
My close Attendance now for some few hours;  
Then I'll return to settle Love's Account,  
With flaming heart at Beauty's Altar bow,  
And pay my Vows with double Adoration.  
Mean while, our Princess and her Train once more  
Shall welcome you to Florence:  
Attend the Duchess in.  [Ex. all but Lavinio and Guards. 
The Face of things seems altered since I went;  
Some strange fantastic humour has possessed  
In general the Citizens of Florence.  
As yet I have met with none, but who amaze me;  
And speak of Matters done by me, as if  
I had been here before my Duchess came.  
Call Barberino and Alberto to me;  
They'll soon resolve—  [Barberino and Alberto appear through the Grates.] Barb. 
Most gracious Sir,  
Pity your Subjects, and most faithful Servants.  Lau. 
Confusion! Are my Eyes and Ears both charmed?  
Our Deputies whom we did leave in trust  
Of our whole Power, chained, shackled, and in Jail!  
Set them at large, and in my Presence now  
Before this Minute can expire, or I  
Shall go distracted 'ere I know the Cause.  
Sure some ill Spirit has possessed  
My Subjects minds when I was gone; D'ye know me?  Barb. 
The Duke of Florence our most gracious Master.  Lau. 
Are not you called Barberino, you Alberto,  
My prudent faithful Counselors to whom  
I left the Government of Tuscany?  Alb. 
We are your Loyal Subjects, tho' your Prisoners.  Lau. 
How came you so?  Barb. 
Great Sir, yourself knows well▪  
'Twas only for obeying your Commands.  Lau. 
A Plot, a general Plot upon my Wits;  
Tell me the meaning, jest not with my Rage,  
I charge you do not, therefore speak sense to me;  
Or on your naked hearts I'll read the Riddle.  Alb. 
Alas! what shall we say? Great Sir, you know  
That none except your Royal self could do it,  
And to your Sacreed Justice we appeal  
How far we have deserved.  Lau. 
Perdition! Furies  
Where will this end? Gods! I shall burst with Choler.  
Be merciful good Heaven, and give me Temper.  Alb. 
Amen good Heaven: I fear the fatal want.  Lau. 
Some Frenzy has on the poor Wretches seized,  
Or else they durst not thus to tempt my Fury.  
Indeed I was to blame in threatening you.  
Who so much need my pity: My good Lords,  
I do beseech you to collect your Wits,  
And tell me gently how you came in Prison.  Barb. 
By the Prosperity of Tuscany,  
Your Highness left us there.  Lau. 
When did I so?  Alb. 
The self same time you went in Person thither to free Brunetto.  Lau. 
The self same time that I went thither  
To free Brunetto: Death, whom? What Brunetto?  Barb. 
Your Prisoner taken in the Mantuan Wars.  Lau. 
The more I search, the more I am confounded,  
Quite lost within a Labyrinth of wonders.  Alb. 
Gods! how he speaks, as if all we were mad,  
And he had done nothing.  Lau. 
I will yet have patience:  
Tell me my Lords, if you are very sure  
That you are well and Masters of your Sense.  Barb. 
If e'er your Highness knew us so we are.  Lau. 
Yet give me leave to think what I do know;  
I can sustain no more.— Come hither Captain.  
These Lords affirm, that I put them in Prison,  
How say you to't?  Capt. 
Great Sir, your Highness did,  
You saw them left in Custody that Minute  
You freed Brunetto.  Lau. 
He's in the same Tale:  
Tho' they are all alike deprived of sense,  
Yet do they all agree in what they say;  
But why, good Captain, I will reasoned with you,  
Should I desire Brunetto's liberty?  
Would it not be a foul dishonour think you  
To the Great Family of Medici's,  
To cast away our Sister upon one  
We neither yet know whom, nor what he is:  
I pray you therefore Captain, if you have  
Any small fragment of your Wits remaining  
Reply accordingly.  Capt. 
Sir, it is certain,  
That if your Highness should bestow your Sister,  
On such a one as you are pleased to mention,  
The Conduct would surprise the world; but Sir,  
I heard yourself, distinctly I did hear you,  
to call Brunetto, Prince Horatio,  
The second Son to the Duke of Savoy.  Lau. 
Vengeance!  
My wonder is so great, that I want words  
Wherewith to give it vent: I see that all  
My Subjects being distracted, think me mad.  Capt. 
Nay more, Your Highness gave the Princess charge  
That she prepared herself, for in two days  
You'd see her married to the Prince Horatio.  Lau. 
Enough! Yet Gods I'll hold my Reason yet  
Florence I left a most ingenious City,  
But find it woefully at my Return  
Possessed with strange unheard of Lunacy.  
Captain, I swear to you by my Dukedom,  
I'd rather send for that Brunetto's head,  
Than such a message as you say I did.  Capt. 
Beseech Your Highness look, let your own eyes  
Convince you of the Truth of what I said.  Enter Brunetto and Prudentia. Bru. 
Divine Prudentia, All thy Sex's Charms  
In thee are centred, and from that fair Union  
Receive a fresh unspeakable Addition;  
Your Brother's good even to a Miracle,  
And gave me thraldom, but to raise my Joy.  Prud. 
Indeed it speaks a Noble Nature in him  
To Crown Desert, though in an Enemy.  
And now I must confess without a blush,  
You long have been my hearts dear secret choice,  
But never durst give Ear to your Addresses  
Till by my Brother's free consent allowed.  Bru. 
Said you Consent? Alas! that Name falls short  
Of his Transcendent Grace: He's earnest for us,  
Urges and drives us to the Bower of Joy.  Lau. 
Furies and Scorpions drive you, Whirlwinds part you.  Prud. 
My Royal Brother.  Lau. 
Damned Infernal Creature!  
More false than Helen, and the greater Plague.  Bru. 
I did suspect at first 'twas his Distraction  
That favoured my aspiring hopes, and now  
I fear't has changed his mind to my undoing.  Prud. 
Wherein Dear Sir, have I deserved this Usage?  
Was't not your Order?  Lau. 
Sulphur choke thy voice:  
I'll spend no Breath upon a thing so vile.  
You Sir, My new made Favourite, come near  
And tell me, are you Son to Savoy's Duke?  Bru. 
Your Highness knows I am his Second.  Lau. 
I know you are his Second? Blood and Fire.  
This Frenzy has seized him too.  
Then know Sir, were you Savoy's Eldest Son,  
My Sister once deserved a better Match;  
And she shall rather in a Monastery  
Sigh out a weary Life without Devotion,  
Than be your Wife.— To Prison with the Boaster  
Till Savoy fetch him thence.  [The Guards hurry him off.] Barb. 
This relishes of Reason.  Alb. 
Heaven preserve  
This temper, and restore the State of Florence.  Lau. 
Come Lords, and lend your best Assistance to me,  
Sleep shall not close my Eyes, nor food refresh me,  
Till we have searched this Mischief to the Core;  
we'll stop at no extremes of Blood or Torture,  
Balk no rough Means that may our Peace secure;  
Such desperate Ill's, must have as desperate Cure.  [Exeunt. manet Prudentia. Prud. 
Unhappy Florence! more unhappy I  
To see a Prince and Brother thus decayed,  
Bereaved of Reason, and made less than Man!  
My dear Horatio, grieve not at this Usage,  
But rather pity thy Oppressor's Fate.  Enter Trappolin. Trap. 
Whose here? the Princess in Tears? Dear Sister, how dost thou do? Come, I know your Grievance, and out of my Natural affection have taken care for you; you marry the Prince Horatio this Night.  Prud. 
One Minute than has changed his sullen humour!  
Why then Sir, have you made him a close Prisoner?  Trap. 
A Prisoner say you?— Run Guards and fetch him to our Presence.— Do not so much abuse yourself dear Sister, to think I would confine my Friend to Prison.  Prud. 
You did it Sir this Minute, he's scarce there yet.  Trap. 
Madam Sister, If I did, it was in my Drink, and certainly I had some politic Reason for it, which I have now forgot.— Some more Wine Slave to clear my Understanding.  [Brunetto brought in here.] Bru. 
How soon his mind is changed? The Heaven's be praised.  Trap. 
Dear Prince Horatio an you do not forgive my Locking you in Prison, I shall never be merry again, and so here is to you dear Prince Horatio.  Bru. 
Upon my knees I pay my humblest Thanks.  Trap. 
Come, come, Take her along Man, take her along, I know Lovers would be private, and to agree the rest among yourselves.  [Brunetto leads off Prudentia. [Barberino and Alberto passing over the Stage] Trap. 
Who's yonder? My Lords Banishers at large again? will the Government never be able to drink in quiet for 'em? Seize these Traitors there, and carry them to Prison. And do you hear Sirrah, it shall be Treason for any body to let them out.  Off. 
Unless by order from your Highness.  Trap. 
Orders from my Highness? I tell you Rascal, it shall be Treason to let them out, tho' I command it myself. Away with them, go. Enter Isabel. What Bona Roba have we hear now?  Isab. 
My Dearest Lord.  Trap. 
For her Dress and Beauty, she may be a Duchess, who are you Madam?  Isab. 
Do you not know me Sir?  Trap. 
It seems she is none of the wisest, tho'.  Isab. 
How am I altered since I came from Milan?  Trap. 
Oh! 'tis the Duchess: You are our Wife, you'll say?  Isab. 
Sir:  Trap. 
I am glad of it I promise you; come kiss then incontnently.  Isab. 
What mean you Sir, you are merrily disposed.  Trap. 
Madam Duchess, I am somewhat jovial indeed, I have been drinking freely, and so kiss me again.  Isab. 
My Lord.  Trap. 
You are a handsome Woman I promise you, and tell me Madam Duchess, am not I a proper handsome Fellow?  Isab. 
Sir, Do not jest with me, you know you are  
The Man whom I esteem above the World.  Trap. 
What a winning look was there too?— To Bed my Dear, to Bed.— I'll but take another's Flask, to put State Affairs out of my head, and then— Ah! ha! ha!  [Exeunt.   

ACT III.  
Enter Lavinio. Lau. 
YOU Glorious Planets that do nightly guide  
The giddy Ships upon the Ocean Waves,  
If some of your malignant Influences  
Have raised this madness in my Subjects minds,  
Let some of your more gentle Aspects now  
Restore them to their Sense.  [Barberino and Alberto appear in Prison.] 
I am astonished, Heaven's! What do I see?  
My Lords imprisoned? Free them instantly  
Without reply, for should you answer me,  
I know you'll say I did it, and distract me.  Capt. 
His ill Fit's off again.  Lau. 
I do not think that since the Infancy  
And first Creation of the World, a madness  
Pestiferous and equal unto this  
Was ever known, all-Gracious Heaven reveal  
The fatal Cause, or lay our City's waste.  Barb. 
Most Gracious Sovereign, How have we deserved  
Thus to be made the scorn of Vulgar Eyes?  Lau. 
Yet send me Patience Heaven!  
I wonder Lords, that you of all my Subjects,  
Whom I have known to bear the Noblest Judgements,  
Should thus distract yourselves in your wild Fits:  
You run to Prison of your own accord,  
And say, I sent you.  Alb. 
Most Royal, Sir, we grieve to see these days;  
You did command us thither,  Lau. 
I?  Barb. 
Your Highness' self.  Lau. 
You are both deceived, to act such idle Errors,  
And lay the blame on me.  Capt. 
So please your Grace, You did again commit 'em,  
That very hour in which you set them free.  Lau. 
I commit them?  
I tell you all with sorrow, witness Heaven  
How deep that sorrow is! you are all mad  
Therefore in this small interval of Sense,  
Betake you with one voice to your Devotion,  
And pray the incensed Gods to be appeased  
And keep you from Relapse.  Both. 
Heaven bless your Highness.  [Ex. All but Lavinio. Lau. 
Plague, Famine, War, the ruinous Instruments  
Wherewith incensed Deities do punish  
Poor Mankind for mis-deeds, had they all fallen  
Upon this City, it had been a thing  
To be lamented, but not wondered at.  Enter Isabel. Isab. 
My Lord, I have this hour expected you.  Lau. 
O, my dear Isabel, I have brought thee  
From Milan flourishing with all Delights,  
Into a City full of men distracted.  Isab. 
He is not sober yet: Go in and sleep Sir.  
You do not well my Lord, thus to betray  
Your weakness to the public view.  Lau. 
Oh, Heavens!  
My Wife and all.  Isab. 
What say you Sir?  Lau. 
My Isabel, Thou hast cause to curse me  
For bringing thee into a place infected;  
The Air is poisoned, and I wonder now  
How I have scaped so long.  Isab. 
I pray go sleep.  Lau. 
Why Isabel?  Isab. 
You have drunk too much.  Lau. 
Madness unmatched!  
She's farther gone than any of the rest.  
Dear Isabel retire into thy Chamber;  
Compose thy thoughts a while, and I'll come to thee,  
There we'll beseech the angry Gods together,  
That they would yet remove this heavy Ill  [Ex. Isab. Enter Brunetto and Prudentia. 
What do I see? Brunetto unconfined;  
I am astonished how he came at large;  
Whom I would have to lie in Prison, walk  
In freedom, and whom I would have in freedom,  
Run of themselves to Prison.— Hell! They kiss,  
Embrace before my Eyes! My Guards there.  Bru. 
Ha!  
He's changed again.  Prud. 
My Noble Brother.  Lau. 
Off.  
Hadst thou thy Reason, and shouldst offer this,  
I'd study Tortures for thee; as thou art,  
I pity thy misfortunes.— Seize your Prisoner:  
Next time I see him free, your head is forfeit.  Prud. 
Wonders on Wonders, I beseech you Sir  
By all the Bonds of Nature, for what cause?  Lavin. 
It is vain to answer frantic People.  [Exeunt.  

SCENE Draws, and Shows Trappolin asleep, Flasks of Wine by him.  Trap. 
WHat a Princely Nap have I taken!— But as I remember I was to have gone to my Duchess, or dreamt so.— Give me a Bumper. [Barberino and Alberto enter.] My Lords at large again?  Barb. 
Long live your Highness.  Trap. 
Amen.  Alb. 
And happily.  Trap. 
Amen for that too— But my small Friends how came you hither? I thought you had been under Lock and Key.  Barb. 
Alas! he is relapsed as bad as ever.  Trap. 
Sirrah Captain, Why kept you not these Vermin up till I bid you let them out?  Capt. 
So please your Grace I did.  Trap. 
Will you lie Rascal to my Princely Face?  [He throws Wine in his Face. Capt. 
Gods! will this Humour never leave him?  Barb. 
We must in again.  Trap. 
To Kennel with them, walk my good Lords Banishers▪ your Honours know the way. Along with them. Trugh! trugh!  Alb. 
There is no remedy.  [They are carried off. Trap. 
Thus far I take it, we have kept the Government in good Order; now for my Duchess, lead to her Grace's Apartment.  [Officer enters.] Off. 
Ambassadors from Savoy desire admittance.  Trap. 
What are their Names?  Off. 
Sir, I presumed not to inquire.  Trap. 
Then what's their Business?  Off. 
That Sir were worse presumption.  Trap. 
Thou insolent Varlet, What a Vulgar Fellow dost thou take me for, to speak with Strangers before I know their Business? — Well Sirrah, set a Bumper by our Chair of State, and bring them to our Presence.  Off. 
What can this mean?  Trap. 
Suppose now, that those should be Spies upon our Government, in the shape of Ambassadors: Loving Subjects, if that be their business, I shall be frank and tell them, they have the wrong Sow by the Ear. For as the Ancients were wont to say, (those Ancients were a wise Nation) it was with them a principle Maxim, Some wiser than some: Trust me for Politics, I'faith.  Enter Ambassadors. 1. Emb. 
Dread Sir, By us the Duke of Savoy sends  
To greet your Nuptials with the milanese,  
Wishing all happiness to great Lavinio.  Trap. 
'Tis civilly done, by my Troth, and there is no Love lost, I can assure him.  2. Emb. 
Is this the so much famed Lavinio,  
Renowned for Wisdom and Severity.  Trap. 
I say, it shows his good Nature as well as his Breeding, and so here's his good health.  1. Emb. 
This is most strange.  Trap. 
So much for Ceremony, now to our Business:  
For what can more befit a Prince than Business,  
Which always is best done Propriâ Personâ:  
I therefore Spice my Morning's Draught myself.  2. Emb. 
I am astonished.  Trap. 
The next prime Quality is for a Prince  
Well to inform him of neighbouring Courts,  
What Customs and Diversions are in use;  
But chiefly by what Politics they steer,  
What Method in Affairs of State they take,  
Whereby to square his own Concerns at home:  
I therefore ask, What Wine you have in Savoy?  1. Emb. 
This is gross Mockery.  2. Emb. 
Or utter Frenzy.  
We come not Sir to trifle, and 'tis time  
We now declare the Order of our Message:  
Our Royal Master is at last informed,  
His only Brother, and his Dukedom's Heir,  
Lies here confined in close Imprisonment;  
Release him instantly, and we are Friends:  
Refuse us; and our sole Reply is War.  Trap. 
If you bring nothing but War, even carry it back with you again: We can drink and quarrel fast enough amongst ourselves;— But hark you, For the sake of some Dukes that shall be nameless, before I treat with your Master, I must know by what Title he holds.  1. Emb. 
By Native and Legitimate Claim.  Trap. 
That is as much as to say, I am an Usurper.  2. Emb. 
By most unquestioned and immediate Right From Heaven.  Trap. 
As who should say, my Preferment came from the Devil.  1. Emb. 
We ask your final Answer, Peace or War.  Trap. 
My final Answer is, to tell no man my Pleasure, till I know it myself.  2. Emb. 
Let us declare for Arms then, and away.  1. Emb. 
It cannot be with this Fantastic Tale;  
To bring this strange account, will speak us mad,  
And with our Prince ne'er gain the least Belief.  Trap. 
Look you Sirs, Your Master and I, can agree to fall out at our leisure; but if he pretend to love the Prince Horatio better than I do, he is a very uncivil Person, and so I shall tell him when I next light into his Company.  1. Emb. 
Heaven's! this is still more strange.  Trap. 
Will he fight for him?  2. Emb. 
He'll Conquer for him, Florence shall confess it.  Trap. 
Then I have one familiar Question more,  
Will he Pimp for him?  1. Emb. 
Prodigious!  Trap. 
Not Pimp for him? Let him pretend no further;  
If he ne'er Pimped for him, his claim is done.  
Will he give him his Sister?  2. Emb. 
That were foul Incest; and besides, he has none.  Trap. 
Why no more have I, nor ever had in my life, and yet I have given him mine.— But as for your Princess, let her set her heart at rest; for if my Friend must not have her, I will marry her myself.  1. Emb. 
What, while your Millanese is living?  Trap. 
That I confess I had forgot, Care for the State has turned my Brain:— But here is to our better Understanding.  [Drinks. 2. Emb. 
This is beyond all sufferance, gross affront;  
And Florence shall in Blood lament the Folly.  Trap. 
In the name of Mars, then let your Master know, I care not, when we meet at the head of our Army— to crack a Bottle.  [Exeunt severally. Enter Lavinio hastily. Lau. 
I've found, I've found at last the fatal Riddle:  
It must be so, the Gods inspire the Thought,  
Call Barberino and Alberto to me.  Seru. 
From Prison Sir?  Lau. 
From Prison Slave, what meanest thou?  Seru. 
Your Highness but this Minute sent them thither;  
Nor will your Officer at my Request  
Release them, 'twas so strict a Charge you gave.  Lau. 
Here take my Signet for a Token: Bid them  
Attend me instantly in my Apartment.  
It must, it must be so, some spiteful Fiend  
Permitted by the heavens assumes my shape:  
And what I do, undoes; no other Cause  
Remains in Nature for these strange Effects;  
Pity me Gods, your labouring Minister;  
Remove this Plague, and save the State of Florence.  [Exit. Enter Trappolin, as going to the Duchess 's Bedchamber. Trap. 
The next is the Dutchess' Bedchamber.— and yonder she is fast asleep.— What a Neck and Breast is there?— Now do I reckon that my Friend Brunetto and I shall encounter much about a time. I ought to have seen him a Bed first, but my Natural Affection to my Duchess prevailed above my Manners.  Re-Enter Servant. Seru. 
Here is your Ring again Sir,  Trap. 
What Ring?  Seru. 
Your Signet Sir, which you sent me with, I have according to your Order released the Lords.  Trap. 
Give it me: Now, go Slave commend me to Brunetto, and bid him start fair.  Seru. 
from Prison Sir?  Trap. 
Prom Prison say you?— Here take my Signet with you again, and release him: and say, I charge him on his Allegiance to go to Bed to the Princess immediately; make all fast without there; I can find the way to her Grace by myself: Away.  [Ex. Servants, etc. [As he is going in, he meets Lavinio entering.] Lau. 
'Tis strange they come not yet;— What do I see?  
This is the Hellish Phantasm that has bred  
All this Confusion in our Court; good Gods  
How he resembles me! That I myself  
Would almost take him for myself: What art thou?  Trap. 
I am Lavinio Duke of Tuscany.  Lau. 
He speaks too, and usurps my Name.  
If thou art a Fiend, the gracious heavens be kind,  
And put a Period to thy wild proceedings;  
But if thou art a Witch, I'll have thee burnt.  Trap. 
Burnt? Traitor, burn your lawful Duke!  Lau. 
I'll try if thou hast substance, struggle not,  
For thou mayst sooner break from Hercules:  
I'll have thee Dread from thy enchanted skin,  
In which thou represents my person.  Trap. 
I say, beware of Treason; flay off my skin?  Lau. 
Guards, Guards, Guards.  Trap. 
Guards, Guards.  Lau. 
A Traitor, a Traitor.  Trap. 
A Traitor, a Traitor.  [As they strive and call together, Trappolin flings the enchanted Powder in his Face, Lau. quits his hold. 
There's some of Father Conjurer's Powder for you; what it will do for me I know not, but there ' 'tis.  Lau. 
The Sorcerer has blinded me.  Trap. 
Ay, so would Powder of Post for the present; but if this be all the wonderful Effects, I'll save my skin while I may.  [He runs off. Lau. 
Stop, stop the Traitor, help? Guards, Guards!  [Runs after him. Enter Isabel in her Nightgown. Isab. 
Sure I did hear the Duke my Husband's Voice  
As in distress, and calling out for help;  
Or did I dream? It must be more than so:  
Nay, as I thought, I saw two Figures of him  
One coursing of the other:—  
The noise continues still— Who waits? All Deaf?  [Rings a bell. 
What, no Attendance here? What can this mean?  
This is the private passage to the Princess' Chamber.  
I'll see if all be as silent there.  [Exit. Re-enter Trappolin. Trap. 
What will become of me? I shall never have the heart to swagger it out with him: The Guards are coming too:— Oh rare Powder! 'thas done the work I'faith.  Re-Enter Lavinio, transformed into the Likeness of Trappolin. Lau. 
I have thee, and will hold thee, wert thou Proteus.  Enter Captain and Guards. Trap. 
Help Subjects, help your Duke's assaulted.  Capt. 
Audacious Slave.  Lau. 
Death and Furies.  Capt. 
What Trappolin returned:  Off. 
He is distracted sure.  Trap. 
No, no, Trappolin was too honest to assault his natural Prince, this is some Villain transformed by Magic to his likeness, And I will have him flayed out of his enchanted skin.  Lau. 
Blood and Vengeance.  Trap. 
Look to him carefully, till you have our further Orders: Now once more for my Duchess.  [Exit. Lau. 
Unhand me Slaves, I am the Duke your Sovereign.  All. 
Ha! ha! ha!  Lau. 
That Villain that went out, a damned Imposter.  Off. 
Foul Treason, stop his mouth.  Capt. 
Alas▪ he is Lunatic.  Lau. 
Why did you let th'imposter Devil scape?  Capt. 
Compose thyself poor Trappolin.  Lau. 
What mean the Slaves by Trappolin? Enter Servant. Sir, Are you come? Where is my Ring?  Seru. 
Trappolin come home? And as great a Knave, it seems, as ever: He has heard the Duke sent me with his Ring, and this impudent Rogue thinks to get it.  Lau. 
The Slaves are now gone mad another way.  
They take the Counterfeit for their true Prince,  
And me it seem for one I do not know.  
Sure some amongst my Subjects yet will know me,  
Than Slaves, your Heads shall answer for this Crime.  Enter Flametta. Fla. 
I am overjoyed. you are welcome home my Dear;  
I feared alas, I ne'er should see you more:  
Indeed my Dear, you are beholden to me;  
'Twas I that won the Duke for your Repeal.  Lau. 
Blood and Fire!  Fla. 
This is unkind to treat me with such coldness▪  
After so long an Absence; have you then  
Forgot my Truth and Constancy?  Lau. 
Off Strumpet.  Fla. 
Dost thou reward me thus for all the Pains  
I took for thy Return to Florence?  Lau. 
Leave me,  
Or I will spurn thee from me.  Fla. 
O faithless Men! Women by me take heed  
How you give credit to the perjured Sex.  
Have I all thy long Banishment been true,  
Refused Lord Barberino with his Gifts;  
And am I slighted thus?  Lau. 
What means the Harlot?  
Heaven, Earth, and Hell, have all conspired together,  
To load me with a Crime unknown before.  Enter Barberino and Alberto. 
My Lords, You never came in better Season.  
For never was your Prince so much distresed;  
My very Guards deny me for their Master,  
And take a Wizard for the Duke of Florence.  Barb. 
What means the Vagabond, how came he home?  
I hope the Duke will take care to reward him.  
Say Captain, which way is our Royal Master?  Lau. 
Nay then, Destruction is turned loose upon me.  Fla. 
Alas, he is mad!  
Distracted with his Banishment.  Enter Isabel and Prudentia. Pru. 
The Vision you relate is wonderful,  
And all these strange disorders in the Court  
Must needs proceed from some prodigious Cause.  Lau. 
That is the Princess' voice; Prudentia, Sister,  
Pity your Brother, speak to these mad Subjects  
That do not know their Prince.  Pru. 
What Fellow's this?  Capt, 
Off Sirrah.  Lau. 
Is she bewitched too?— My Dear Isabel  
Thou sure wilt own the Duke thy Husband:— Ha!  
She turns away in wonder! By the Bonds  
Of Duty, and of Nature, I conjure you  
To do me Right, and own the Duke your Lord.  
Alberto, Barberino, Prudentia, Isabel.  All. 
Ha! ha! ha!  Isab. 
What do you with this frantic wretch? look to him And lodge him in the Hospital.  Lau. 
Confusion!  
Nay then 'tis time to lay me thus on Earth,  
And grow one Piece with it.  [Throws himself down. Enter Brunetto. Bru. 
Your Highness humble Servant,— Dear Prudentia,  
The Duke once more consents to make us happy,  
Here is his Royal Signet for our Marriage.  Enter Trappolin. Trap. 
Eo, Meo, and Areo, rare Boys still.— I am out of breath with looking for her; the Bed I found, but no Duchess, and not one of her Women can tell me where she is:— Why here they are now all on a Bundle. Dear Pigsney, what a naughty Trick was this, to Spirit yourself away, when you know how frighted I am with lying alone?— My Princely Friend, Hast thou consummated? That sneaking look of thine confesses thee Guilty: Well, married or not married, I am resolved to see you a Bed together incontinently.  Lau. 
The Devil you shall.  [Rising up hastily. Fla. 
Dear Trappolin be quiet.  
You will destroy yourself and me— I do beseech your Grace,  
Forgive him; alas, he is Lunatic.  Lau. 
Oh heavens! endure this Impostor thus  
With his Enchantments to bewitch your Eyes.  Trap. 
Alas, poor Trappolin! That ever such good Parts as thine should come to this.  Alb. 
Will he ere suffer this abuse?  Barb. 
I know not perhaps one Madman will pity another.  Lau. 
Ye Florentines, I am Lavinio;  
I am the Tuscan Duke; this an Impostor  
That by damned Magic, and Infernal Arts  
Has raised these strange Chimaeras in the Court.  Alb. 
Your Highness is too patient.  Fla. 
Sweet Trappolin be ruled.  Trap. 
Show him a Glass.  Lau. 
What do I see? even thus I seem to them:  
Plagues, Death, and Furies, this is Witchcraft all:  [Breaks the Glass. 
Still I assert my Right, I am Lavinio.  Trap. 
Nay then, I see he'll ne'er come to good; to Prison with him, take him away.  [As they seize him, Thunder and Lightning breaks forth, Mago rises.] Mag. 
Turn thee Lavinio Duke of Tuscany.  Lau. 
Ha! who art thou that ownest my Power and Title,  
Disclaimed by all my Subjects?  All. 
This is strange.  Trap. 
Father Conjurer here?— I warrant he's going to the Devil now, and calls at Court for Company.  Lau. 
What e'er thou art, dissolve this Magic Mist;  
Restore my State, and right an injured Prince.  Mag. 
My Spells alone can do it.  Lau. 
I know that voice.  Mag. 
Remember Guicardi the Tuscan Count,  
Whom twelve years since, thou didst unjustly banish;  
Which tedious hours I chiefly have applied  
To Magic Studies, and in just Revenge  
Have raised these strange disorders in thy Court;  
Now, Pardon what is past, I'll set all Right.  Lau. 
I swear by all the Honours of my State,  
By both my Dukedoms, Florence and Sienna,  
I pardon what is past.  Trap. 
So here is his Grace and the Devil upon Articles of Agreement, and excluding me from the Treaty:— Well, I'll even banish myself whilst I have the Authority in my own hands: I have got a handsome Face by the Bargain, and it would grieve me to be flayed out of it, and therefore I will steal off as silently as I can.  Mag. 
Then take that Chair.  [He places Lavinio in the Chair. Thunder and Lightning again.] Bru. 
What mean those Prodigies?  Mag. 
Ye Noble Florentines suspend your fears,  
And you shall see the wonders of my Skill.  
Thus with my Powerful Wand I Crown thy Brow  
With grateful slumbers till my Charms are wrought.  
You Spirits framed of milder Elements,  
You that Control the black malicious Fiends,  
Ascend, ascend, and execute my Will.  [Soft Music. Spirits rise and dance about Lavinio, who by a device is transformed before the Audience into his own Appearance, and Habit. All. 
The Duke! Good Heaven! How have our Eyes been Charmed?  
Long live your Highness.  Lau. 
Where have I Been? Sure all has been a Dream.  Mag. 
Your Royal Word is past, you pardon all;  Lau. 
I do, and weep for Joy  
To see my Subjects to their Sense restored.  Mag. 
Brave Prince Horatio, your elder Brother,  [To Brunetto. 
The Duke of Savoy's dead.  Lau. 
Then he is Savoy.  
Sir, I entreat forgiveness of what's past,  
And wish you Joy.  [Gives him Prudentia. Brun. Prud. 
You Crown our Happiness.  Lau. 
Methinks, we have all been scattered in a Storm,  
And thus by Miracle met here together  
Upon the happy shore.— Horatio, Lords,  
Prudentia, Wife, let me embrace you all.  [Trappolin brought in by Spirits, in his own likeness.] Lau. 
Here is th' Impostor, Gods! what abject Things,  
When in your Hands, prove Scourages of a State.  Trap. 
Good Father Conjurer, for old Acquaintance sake  
Beseech your Grace, use Moderation:  [To Lavinio. 
You see by me what a Prince may come to.  Lau. 
Thy Pardon's granted, but depart the Realm.  Fla. 
Dear Trappolin embrace the happy Fate,  
And take me with thee.  Trap. 
My Lord,— I have stood your Lordship's Friend.  [To Brunetto. Bru. 
In Savoy I'll requite thee Trappolin:  Trap. 
Savoy, Girl, Savoy— a Count, a Count I warrant thee.  Mag. 
Son Trappolin▪ I am thy natural Father;  
And since my Banishment from Florence, have  
Sustained much Hardship, served the Turk in's Galleys.  Trap. 
By your leave Father Conjurer, you have served the Devil too.  Mag. 
But from this Hour renounce my wicked Arts.  Lau. 
So, lasting Happiness on Florence fall;  
Our Plague's removed, and now we'll pass the Time  
In Courtly Joys; our Tuscan Poets shall  
From these Disorders, frame Fantastic Scenes  
To entertain our beauteous Millanese:  
Each Accident at leisure well recite,  
Misfortunes past, prove Stories of Delight.    

SONGS.  

A SONG written by Sir George Etheridge.  

TEll me no more I am deceived,  
while Silvia seems so kind;  
And takes such care to be believed,  
The Cheat I fear to find  
To flatter me should Falsehood lie  
Coincealed in her soft Youth;  
A thousand times I'd rather die,  
Than see the unhappy Truth;   

II.  
My Love all Malice shall outbrave,  
Let Fops in Libels rail;  
If she the Appearances will save,  
No Scandal can prevail:  
She makes me think I have her Heart,  
How much for that is due?  
Tho' she but act the tender part,  
The Joy she gives is true.    

A SONG written by a Lady  

AH poor Olinda! never boast  
Of Charms that have thy Freedom cost,  
They threw at Hearts, and thine is lost.  
Yet none thy Ruin ought to blame,  
His Wit first blew me to a Flame,  
And fans it with the Wings of Fame.   

II.  
In vain I do his Person shun,  
I cannot from his Glory run,  
That's Universal as the Sun,  
In Crowds his Praises fill my Ear,  
Alone his Genius does appear,  
He, like a God, is every where.    

A SONG written by a Person of Quality.  
WHO can resist my Celia's Charms?  
Her Beauty wounds and Wit disarms;  
When these their mighty Forces join,  
What Heart's so strong but must resign?  
Love seems to promise in her Eyes,  
A kind and lasting Age of Joys;  
But have a care, their Treason shun,  
I looked, believed, and was undone,  
In vain a thousand ways I strive,  
To keep my fainting Hopes alive;  
My Love can never find Reward,  
Since Pride and Honour is her Guard.    

The EPILOGUE.  
TRAPPOLIN supposed a Duke, This Action shows  
Strange matters may depend on mere suppose.  
One may suppose Masks chaste, loud Nonsense Witty,  
No Flatterers at Court, no Cheat i' th' City—  
I am myself by one i' th' World thought Pretty.  [Pulling off his Periwig. 
Whereas you see no Lilies grow nor Roses,  
So Masks for Beauty pass, that want their Noses.  
The Reverend Citizen, Sixty and above,  
That by poor inch of Candle buys his Love,  
Supposes that his Son and Heir he Got,  
But ask his Wife and she supposes not.  
Mean time the Sot, whilst he's a Cuckold made,  
Supposes she's at Church praying for Trade.  
The Country Squire newly come up to Town,  
By Parents doomed to Lawyers daggled Gown,  
Supposes some Bright Angel he has gotten,  
In our Lewd Gallery till proving Rotten,  
His Study soon he leaves for Swearing Tubs,  
And Cook and Littleton, for honest Hobs.  
Nor had dull Cit sent Spouse to Drink the Waters,  
And found them helping to her Sons and Daughters,  
Had he supposed when so the Belly swells,  
There must be something in't besides the Wells.  
There's no Man here had Married I'm afraid,  
Had he not first supposed his Wife a Maid.  
Thus, 'tis Opinion must our Peace secure,  
For no Experiment can do't I'm sure.  
In Paths of Love no Footsteps e'er were Troced,  
All we can do is to suppose her chaste;  
For Women are of that deep subtle kind,  
The more we dive to know, the less me find  
Ah Ladies! what strange Fate still Rules us Men?  
For whilst we wisely would escape the Gin,  
A kind suppose still draws the Woodcocks in▪  
In all Affairs 'tis so, the Lawyers Bawl,  
And with damned Noise and Nonsense fill the Hall,  
Supposing after Seven Years being a Drudge,  
'Twill be his Fortune to be made a judge.  
All things are helped out by suppose, but Wit;  
But what shall we by That suppose to get.  
Unless a kind suppose your Minds possess,  
For on that Charm depends our Play's Success.  
Then though you like it not, Sirs, don't Disclose it,  
But though you are not satisfied, suppose it.