A LETTER Written from the TOWER by Mr. Stephen College (the Protestant-Joyner) To Dick Janeways Wife.  
Dear Jane,  
MY Commitment was the more surprising to me in that it broke those measures we had taken for a Rendezvouz that Evening, where we were to repeat those satisfactions Thee and I have often mntually tasted from the solaces of Venus abroad, while Dick Janeway toiled contentedly upon his Mercury at home; I wish him better reward of his Labour, than I am like to reap by mine.  
This place affords little pleasure, besides the sweet thoughts of thy Dear self; and my Confinement is the more uneasy to me, by the supercilious behaviour of my Warder: yet with the help of some yellow-boys, and a few Tools, (both which I desire Thee to send me) I hope to set up to that Trade I so long neglected, and to become Scaffold, Block, and Nine-pin-maker to the Tower.  
Encourage thy Dick to go on, though I can no longer assist, in the True Protestant Cause, yet he is hard enough for all their Observators, Heraclitus, and other Tantivy-Scriblers; and (as I often told Thee) our best Friends are still behind the Curtain, Men whose Talon is declaiming, and that can out-bark all their Towzers, and outdo that She-Tory Joa— Br— with all her Guns and Crack-farts.  
Had not this Commitment prevented me, I'll swear I was about a piece that would have gone nigh to do their Job; I had Chalked out my Design, and had Plained my Materials, and should have Glued them well together, and fitted it for Dick's never-fading Paint.  
Return my thanks in the lowest and most prostitute manner to Sh— B— l, (whom next to Alg. Syd. I esteem as the chief Patron of our Cause) for his True Protestant Ignoramus-Jury, which so honestly discharged their Conscience, and gave Verdict against those seven Tory-Evidence. Thou know'st, 'tis in the mouth of two or three Witnesses a Truth shall be established; doth it follow then, that six or seven shall do ihe same? And thou knowest who teacheth when he holds forth, That for a few to be Perjured for the benefit of the Nation, and True Protestancy, is not only Venial, but a piece of Service becoming the Godly Party, and the favourers of the Good Old Cause.  
But I find that an Ignoramus in Middlesex, is no Dimittimus out of this Limbo; and I fear those at Oxford may speak other Latin, and that the Jury there may be, at this time, as Toryish as their Terrefilius: if so, adieu College! who promised myself last March to survive all my Namesakes there, and to have seen them crumbled down with my Axes and Hammers.  
Be sure to convey away all Papers, Cuts, Draughts, etc. specially that of Mac-cut-throat, that represents the Oxford-Gownmen, and all the Bishops too, crowding with Father Patch to kiss the Pope's Toe, lest Goodman Hog seize them, as others did the Sackful in the Hay-mow, and lest the Original of those Tories and Abhorrers fall into such hands as will open some mouths wider against me at my Trial. Which let it come when it will, I hope to make a better bargain than that Goose-brained Mac Fitz-Harys; though his Jury came short of what was promised him, mine shall do more than I can desire, and may help me out with another Ignoramus. I'll never trust Mongrel-Solicitor, nor shatter-brained Whitaker, who thought his Law-quirks as much Treason-proof, as I did my Mail and Blunderbusses, but will as fairly bring himself to Bed, as he did his Client Fitz-Harys: I could play with other edged Tools then mine own, and this Upholsterer can Hang himself, though not his Room.  
I'll have no other Solicitors than those True Protestants, that pass like Popes for Infallible, I— s, Win— n, T T —y, W— p, Poll— n, and Smith, who are the Pillars that must support the Cause, and help me their Champion at a dead lift. If three of them covid sway five hundred, they may easily cajole two or three Judges, whose Places they stand fair for next Parliament. These, dear Jane, must do the Job, and must not only talk down the Bishops-Court, but balder the World out of its Reason, and must deny the King any Money, that they may have the more themselves: and 'tis not a few Millions that are yearly swallowed up by our Lawyers, Attorneys, and other half-starved Green-bags and Pettifoggers; 'twas these that cowed our Country-Gentry the last Parliaments, and with a splay-mouthed little Fanatical Hypocrisy, and a cramp Law-term, appeared as formidable as Gorgon's Heads, and by their tickling and noise became the Bell-wether of the Flock, while the rest were content to bleat Amen to their Arbitrary Nonsense: But this to ourselves. Above all, retain our Friend Winifrid— tun, who with a Good my Lord! and a peal of Liberty and Property, Our All is at stake, can silence even Sir George, or any other such Gigantic Abhorrer, and will make more noise for a grain of Popularity, than another for 5 l. and let him be Col. Pury's Cloak-boy, a bag full of Nonsense, nay a dull man in Ignoramus; yet give me one that will talk for my money, tho' I lose my Cause; And tho' Judge Jenkins (who knew them best) gives it as his Advice, and bids us (p. 138) avoid the Lawyers of the House of Commons, yet I must shortly put myself into their Clutches, as to a point of Law or two I intent to start at my Trial; and let all True Protrstants pray for my good Deliverance. My next shall be (if this Air, or that of Tyburn, chokes not my Muse in the mean time) in such a strain as pleased when thee and I used to meet at the Swan; and so Adieu.  
To the Cause and Thee most True I'll prove,  
Till Catch and Cord shall end our Love.  
From my Lodgings in Lobs-Pound, near the Duke or Exeter's Daughter.   

LONDON: Printed for R. J. 1681.