The Welsh Traveller: OR, The Unfortunate WELSHMAN:  
If any Gentleman do want a Man,  
As I doubt not but some do now and than.  
I have a Welshman though but meanly clad,  
Will make him marry, be he ne'er so sad:  
If that you read, read it quite o'er I pray,  
And you'll not think your penny cast away.  
By Humphrey Crouch.  
London, Printed for William Whitwood at the sign of the Bell in Du ●-Lane near Smithfield. 1671.   

The Welsh Traveller.  
IN this Dull age to recreate  
the minds of friends and strangers,  
Her tell her of her evil Fate,  
and her unlooked for dangers:  
Was travel over mountains high  
and in the valleys low,  
Was see great wonders in the sky  
that others little know:  
Her was a welsh ginger,  
was tell of matters strange:  
So deep was learned▪ was tell to her  
how oft the Moon doth change,  
Was tell her of a Shepherd's star,  
of wonders old and new,  
If her have peace, her had no war,  
all this her prove is true.  
Was tell her too in loving words  
things shall be as before,  
When English men lay down their swords  
and mean to fight no more:  
But all these things her will pass by  
as matters light and small,  
Her knows not her own destiny,  
and that's the worst of all:  
For as her gazed on the sky,  
for want of better wit;  
Poo● Taffie fell immediately  
into a great deep pit:  
Had not a Shepherd stood his friend  
and helped her quickly out,  
Her surely there had m●de an end,  
her makes no other doubt:  
Her gave her thanks, the Shepherd then  
spoke to her when 'twas meet,  
Bid her and other such like men  
look better to her feet.  
No more ginger I pray,  
was glad her life was saved,  
Her soberly walked on her way  
and food was all her craved.  
O her was hungry and cold,  
her strength began to fail,  
Her had no silver nor no gold,  
he tells her what her all:  
Her sold her lowste jerkin then,  
but one poor groat was given,  
Oh her was then a gentleman,  
her thought her was in heaven:  
For her had money for to buy  
victual for one meal,  
That her might not for hunger die  
nor yet be forced to steal.  
Into an Alehouse went he straight  
here an old wife did live,  
Who sold then at too dear a rate  
and had nothing to give.  
Her sat her down and called for meat,  
her Host brought her eggs  
Had shickens in th●m, O base shade  
these shickens they had legs.  
Her sh●kens and her eggs did stink,  
her could no longer stay,  
Had they been living sure her think  
they would have run away.  
Her best eggs that were in her dish  
that had no shicks were rotten,  
And then she brought her stinking fish  
which her not forgotten.  
Her cast her eggs her fish and all  
into her hostis face,  
And then to spewing her did fall,  
was in a piteous case.  
Her hostis cried out piteously  
and called her son in Law,  
Who beat poor Taffie piteously  
the like her never saw,  
Those heavy blows her still doth feel  
was laid on her alas,  
As if her body had been steel  
and bones were made of brass.  
The cruel blows did her receive  
from that hardhearted elf,  
Was tell her if her give her leave,  
made her bewray herself:  
Was tell her how herself was freed,  
was fain to use her wit,  
With all dexterity and speed  
was we●●her was beshit.  
Was put her lands into her breeches  
and pulled from off her thighs  
A thing was made of cheese and leeks,  
and cast it in her eyes:  
Her son was blind, her mother blind,  
no boot for her to stay,  
Her left a filthy stink behind,  
and so her run away,  
Was glad was gone from them two tevils  
from son and the old hag,  
In midst of all those woeful evils  
there's none had cause to brag.  
My bones did ache, their eyes did smart,  
and such a stink was there,  
Which men could not with all their art  
make sweet in half a year:  
But now her knows not what to do  
her hunger to suffice.  
At length with walking to and fro  
an appletree esples,  
The apples did so louly look,  
did move her unto laughter,  
No delays could her brook  
Her shops so much did water:  
Up in the tree her gets,  
the owner came anon.  
Made her almost besides her wits,  
a cruel fight began:  
The man at her did throw great stones.  
and her did apples cast,  
The stones did so be thumb her bones  
that down her fell at last.  
When her was down, mark what befell  
her hostis and her son,  
Came running when their eyes were well  
beholding what was done:  
He took her up was almost dead,  
they laughed out amain,  
They cuffed her, and thus they said,  
was hope her had been slain.  
They counsel took and did agree,  
more mischief did befall,  
They said they'd hang her on a tree  
and I must pay for all:  
To escape from this ungodly train  
it was her chief desire,  
Her cried out with might and main  
your houses are on fire:  
A gallant trick it was of mine  
for to escape her foes.  
A man a singeing of a Swine  
from whence the smoke arose:  
They run with speed to quench the fire  
that never was begun,  
And glad was her they did retire  
that her away might run:  
Over hill and over dale  
till her was almost spent,  
At last her legs began to fall  
which wrought her discontent.  
And then into a hedge her crept,  
thinking to take a nap,  
And then her sat her down and wept,  
lamenting her mishap:  
At last a handsome man came by,  
with him a pretty Lass,  
These Lovers did not her espy  
But set them on the grass.  
He to this Maid a Ring did give  
which she did well except:  
And with a kiss old her relieve,  
and close unto her crept:  
This ring it seems did prove too wide,  
which gallantly did shine,  
From off her singer it did slide,  
and so at last was mine.  
This Ring her much did think upon,  
they minded more their play,  
So when these Lovers they were gone  
her found it where it lay:  
Her put it up into her poke  
away her went amain,  
For why her was afraid those folks  
would quick return again.  
Now her had got a gay gold Ring  
her know not where to bide,  
It was fine brave and gallant thing  
was puff her up with pride.  
But fortune often plays the jade,  
she's seldom constant known,  
For why at last her was betrayed  
her could not keep her own:  
For going through a town got spot  
amongst some illbred Curs,  
Her showed it to a cheating trot  
who said the Ring was hers  
Cuts plutteranails was tell a lie,  
her found it as her went:  
But she used such extremity,  
which wrought her discontent.  
Before a justice brought her then,  
and there her kept such stirs,  
The justice said before all men  
that sure the Ring was hers:  
Her called the justice great Boobee,  
than her received some knocks  
The justice made no more ado  
but sent her to the stocks:  
The boys did jeer her to her face,  
and called her thief and knave,  
O was it not a great disgrace  
that boys should her outbrave.  
Now her hath marked what hath been past,  
now mark but this one thing,  
The man and maid came by at last,  
that lost this gay gold ring:  
How glad was her then in the end,  
though her was but a thief.  
Her hoped that her would stand her friend.  
to ease her of her grief:  
Ho gentleman, her pray her stay,  
and likewise her fair maid,  
Did not her lose her ring to day,  
regard her what her said?  
They wondered how he came to know  
how she should lose the ring,  
Nor did they know what they should do  
for to regain this thing.  
Have you any Ring kind man quoth they,  
tell us if that you took it?  
Her had the Ring as her may say,  
but now her may go look it:  
A woman cheated her of it,  
her kept such grievous stirs,  
For want of honesty or wit,  
her justice said 'twas hers.  
And can you tell where he doth dwell  
that wrought us this despite,  
For oft her knows her lives in hell  
she●s such a wicked wight.  
A little boy now standing by  
told them where he did live,  
The author of their villainy  
a groat to him they give.  
Unto this woman's house they go  
before a justice bring her,  
Where she was cast with much ado,  
and in the stocks they flung her:  
Now Taffie had his hearts desire,  
he had her company.  
But when he did begin to je●r  
she in his face did fly,  
〈◊〉 clawed him so with her nails  
she made him almost mad,  
He was not used so in Wales  
●is luck was then so bad:  
Moreover as I understand  
to add to his disgrace,  
The Que●n she p●ssed in her hand  
and cast it in her face,  
Cuts plutteranails be shrew her heart.  
was scurvy Quean and whore,  
His scrat: head face did now so smart  
which made him cry and rear:  
Too soon I wished her here quoth he,  
but now I wish her further,  
Or that from her I might be free  
for fear she should me murder.  
The company that stood about  
did laugh at him a good.  
And very friendly help ●im out  
because he pleased the mood:  
Now glad was he that out did get,  
and left this foe behind.  
After they two so long had fight,  
and found the people kind:  
His scratched face did vex him now,  
he thought upon this thing,  
But not so much I tell you true  
as loss of this gold Ring;  
He d●d not know then what to do  
or where to lie that night,  
He wandreth now to and fro  
and kept from people's sight,  
At last unto a house he came,  
the people absent were,  
No man, no master, maid nor dame,  
and so he entered there:  
Unto the smoakloft climbed he then,  
and to the Bacon crept,  
Now Taffie is a jovial man,  
his heart within him leapt,  
He cut the Bacon which was rain,  
no bread at all did eat  
Resolved to fill his hungry maw,  
he lustily did feed.  
He filled his pockets too besides  
might serve him for to morrow,  
He knew he must not there abide  
'twas as but the fruits of sorrow.  
But at the length the maid came in  
then he could not get out,  
To study now he doth begin  
to bring this thing about  
At length he was resolved to stay  
all night until the morrow,  
For fear they two should have a fray  
which might increase his sorrow,  
Well now the iusty Plowmen came  
to feed and to carouse;  
As for the Master and the Dame,  
they supped at the next house.  
When the Plowmen well had fed,  
to bed they took their way,  
For I have often heard it said  
they rise by break of day,  
But time brings all things to an end,  
now home the woman came,  
With her her husband, her best friend  
who was a Cock o'th' game.  
They wished the Maid to go to bed,  
she need not be entreated,  
Whilst Taffie on the Bacon fed  
and bravely he was seated:  
For he upon the saddle sat,  
unknown unséen of all,  
All be●●●w'd with Bacon fat,  
not dreaming he should fall.  
They warmed their legs and eke their feet,  
the man now wanton grows,  
For why he thought it not unmeet  
to play with his wife's toes.  
Thou hast a pretty foot quoth he  
a handsome leg besides,  
A soft plump thigh, a fair white knee  
which I have nigh espied.  
Now Taffie had a great desire  
to play the saucy jack,  
He peepeth down and fell i'th' fire,  
the saddle on his back,  
I've brought your saddle home he cried  
I borrowed of your maid,  
The man and woman stepped aside,  
for they were sore afraid:  
They cried out most piteously  
their case was then so evil,  
Ho Cob ho Rob, rise speedily  
and help to kill the Devil:  
So when the Plowmen did awake  
the best was but a Clown,  
They each of them a Cudgel take  
and knock poor Taffie down:  
They threw him in the fire again,  
who was but new crept out;  
They said they had the Devil slain  
even by their valour stout.  
His Bacon fried in h●s poke  
which moved them to laughter  
Whilst he lay broiling in the smoke  
and cursed them ever after:  
He tumbled out and thus did say,  
I take these things in snuff,  
Pray give me leave to go my way  
has punishment enough.  
The good man quickly did agree  
and ●eared him with his whimsy  
Pray if you come again quoth he,  
friend comenot down my Chimney,  
The night was cold and dark got wot,  
no star was in the sky,  
But as for Taffie he was hot  
you know the reason why.  
He was afraid of every Dog  
when he was out of town,  
Almost as naked as a frog  
with grief he sat him down,  
Upon a bed of Nettles there  
which stung him grievously:  
What with pain, with grief and care,  
he wished he might die.  
He all in darkness traveled,  
his nettled flesh did smart,  
His blistered feet were gravelled  
which grieved him to the heart,  
Yet he was musing in his mind  
what house to go to next.  
Where he might some provision find  
for nothing more perplexed.  
Though he had Bacon in his poke  
might yield him some relief,  
Yet Taffie I have heard it spoke  
was bred and born a thief:  
When her saw people work and toil  
her Gentleman was born;  
What was her think, her horse or mule,  
her work no, think it scorn.  
By this time it was break of day  
and he a Barn espied,  
He to this Barn did take his way  
his nakedness to hide:  
He had not been there half an hour  
or hardly sat him down,  
But Gypsies came in number four  
who came from Guildford town:  
They took poor Taffie for a spirit  
and stood upon their guard,  
They were prepared with him to fight  
which when they saw and heard,  
He cried out her was a man  
though by misfortune crossed,  
That her did swear by good Saint Nan  
her wits was almost lost;  
Her to●d her all her travels great,  
and her misfortunes many,  
How oft her have been kicked and beat  
no comfort had from any:  
And all because her would not work  
but lead an idle life,  
And up and down the Country lurk  
as cause of all her strife.  
Kind friend, quoth they, you shall be one  
of our fraternity,  
Our secrets to you shall be known  
and we'll live happily.  
We live as you do easily,  
but have our wits about us;  
We never suffered injury  
nor give them cause to flout us.  
I am your servant and your friend,  
poor Taffie then replied,  
I hope my grief is at an end  
if I with you abide:  
The first design we'll set upon  
if you'll our secrets keep,  
Shall be for aught we know anon  
when people are asleep:  
And what is that quoth Taffie then?  
I do desire to know,  
You look like good plain dealing men,  
what is it I must do?  
Nothing but rob a house quoth they  
of Bacon we tell you:  
Quoth he I was in such a fray,  
her's some, I pray fall too:  
He pulled a piece out of his poke,  
The Bacon it was warm,  
Quoth he this was in fire and smoke  
but I had all the harm:  
He shewed his burned back and side  
his hands and eke his face,  
They laughed at his burned side  
which he took in disgrace.  
They eat the Bacon greedily,  
but they found bread and drink:  
They praised it exceedingly,  
although the same did stink:  
Well now themselves to sleep they lay  
no dangers them affright,  
Most commonly they sleep all day  
and do their work by night.  
They all concluded at the last  
a rope should him befriend,  
That when their dangers it was passed  
it might be Taffies end.  
This practice wise men will observe  
a subtle villainy,  
Some are not though their country starve  
so they may gain thereby:  
Taffie quoth they your office mind,  
we'll let you down the chimney  
With this same rope, and you shall find  
'twill be a gallant whimsy  
When thou art down the Bacon bind  
with this same rope we give you,  
And we to you will then be kind,  
and with the same relieve you:  
When this is done observe us then,  
we strait then up will hale you,  
And you do think us honest men  
think not that we will fail you;  
They let him down, to work he falls,  
the Bacon strait doth vind,  
The Gyystes up the Bacon hale,  
and leave the fool behind.  
Taffie we thank thee for our swine,  
we can no longer stay,  
The Bacon's ours the halters thine,  
make haste and get away.  
They cast their halters on his head  
and called him foolish elf,  
And with the Bacon straight they fled,  
and bid him hang himself:  
Same take you all, was serve her so,  
her best dries now are gone  
Now out alas what shall her do,  
her now was quite undone;  
Was find her heart to hang herself,  
was take her for a tief:  
More misery her must endure  
and so add grief to grief:  
Or else was broil her on the coals,  
as her once did before:  
The world is full of knaves and fools,  
O there was never more!  
Her will stand here, let what will come,  
outface the worst of evil,  
Her will not speak, her being dumb  
was take her for the Tevill.  
Was all bedaubed herself with crock,  
was warrant her will scare her,  
And stand as still as any stock  
no matter though her fear her:  
Taffie now doth domi near  
with face as black as hell;  
Her means to put them all in fear,  
who in the house do dwell,  
Now down into the house her comes  
unto the Cupboard goes,  
The bread and butter so bethumbs  
at last the maid arose,  
Beholding there his ugly face  
she cried out amain,  
She runs up stairs in little space  
for fear she should be stain,  
Master quoth she, O save my life!  
insuch a fear he put her,  
The Devils below with his lon● Knife  
cutting of bread and butter:  
What art thou mad quoth he, my wench,  
or art thou in a ●ream?  
He took a sword lay on a Bench,  
and down at length he came:  
The good wife cried out amain,  
heaven keep us from all evil,  
Good husband come to bed again  
will you fight with the Devil?  
I prithee wife let me alone,  
the man did thus reply,  
If that this Devil be not gone  
my manhood I will try:  
But when he came the Devil to eye  
he looked wondrous pale,  
His manhood than he durst not try,  
his courage now doth fail,  
The man afraid, the Devil afraid,  
stood gazing on each other:  
At last the good wife and the maid  
called down the good man's brother:  
Brother lend me your sword quoth he,  
and i'll lend you my aid,  
But when he came this Devil to see  
he was as much afraid:  
When Taffie see them all amazed  
he stoutly marched away,  
Upon each other than they gazed  
and knew not what to say:  
They dined well mark what ensued,  
when as they came to sup  
They missed the Bacon and conclude  
The Devil had eat it up.  
Now Taffie is a lusty blade,  
pessessed with strange fits  
Made all the children sore afraid,  
almost beside her wits:  
The children hiding places sought  
he put them in such fear,  
Lest Taffie who the Devil was thought  
would them in pieces tear.  
They durst not go to school by day  
nor rest in beds at nights,  
For fear he should fetch them away,  
he put them in such frights.  
The women at this matter frown,  
and they conclude with speed  
To beat the Devil out of town  
that did this mischief breed:  
With shovels, spades, staves, and stones  
they beat poor Taffie so,  
That they had almost broke his bones  
such cruelty they show,  
Upon his hands and feet he creeps,  
to show that he was almost lamed  
And then he sets him down and weeps  
his courage now is tamed:  
Unto a Church at last goes he,  
to hide him out of sight,  
So then he thought he should be free  
from all their hate and spite.  
Within a Pew he closely lay,  
all night until the morrow,  
Until the Sexton came, they say,  
which did increase his sorrow,  
Taffie peeped out with his black snont  
which made him sore afraid.  
He like a mad man run about  
and called aloud for aid:  
Two hundred armed men he brought  
the Church encompassed round,  
And for this Devil there they sought,  
and him at length they found:  
Art thou the Devil quoth they that dost  
scare all our children so?  
Or art thou some disturbed Ghost  
that wandreth to and fro?  
No, her was Taffie, was a man,  
of flesh and blood and bone,  
Was not believe her, feel her then,  
or else let her alone,  
Thou art a counterfeit quoth they  
a false dissembling knave,  
Come Gentlemen bring him away  
he his reward may have,  
Two hundred men to guard him then  
with Muskets, Pikes and Swords,  
And they were not the meanest men  
the country than affords.  
Taffie long time with them did trudge,  
his heart was wondrous sad,  
They brought him then before the judge  
where he his judgement had:  
He was to stand it'h Pillory  
for four long hours or more,  
That all the children might him spy  
that he had scared before.  
A many then against him came  
running with all speed  
And their Indictments thus they frame  
if you please them to read.  
Will you hear more, in time you may,  
my pen's at your commanding,  
I have no more as yet to say,  
for there I left him standing.  
FINIS.   

Taffies Indictment.  
Inprimis, for troubling the Shepherd to help him out of the pit.  
Item, for selling the lousy Jerken for a groat, which was borrowed of his Country man Pinken.  
Item, for casting stinking fish and rotten eggs into his Hostis face.  
Item, for casting dung in his Host is son's face.  
Item, for casting Apples at the Country man from the tree, when he had the worst himself.  
Item, for going away with the gold Ring.  
Item, for calling the justice Boobee.  
Item, for sitting in the stocks with an old woman.  
Item, for creeping up into the smoakloft, and then falling down into the fire with a packsaddle at his back.  
Item, for acting the Devil's part, when he put all the house into a bodily fear.  
Item, for scaring all the children in the town.  
Item, for scaring the Sexton in the Church, for which loose behaviour he was adjudged to stand in the Pillory, where I leave him till the next mad prank he shall play.