THE Famous Battle OF THE CATS, IN THE PROVINCE OF ULSTER. June 25. 1668.  
In the SAVOY, Printed by T. Newcomb in the Year, 1668.   

THE Famous Battle OF THE CATS IN THE PROVINCE of ULSTER, June 25. 1668.  

WHat wild Fanatic broke his Cage?  
The Valiant Catti to engage, 
The same that the Hessi.   
Into this more than Civil Rage?   

Alas, I need not question that,  
It was the Egyptian God, the Rat,  
Trapan'd the poor Vltonian Cat.   

Though Ireland of no Venom boasts,  
Supplanters plant (in mighty Hosts)  
Reforming Rats on all her Coasts:   

These Vermin soon together get,  
And being all on Mischief set,  
Formed in a dark Assembly, met.   

One goodly Rat above the rest,  
Since He was biggest, would be best,  
Stood forth, (his Paw upon his Breast.)   

This Rat was He, a Rat of Fame,  
Who all things but himself o'ercome,  
And Rattamountain was his name:   

He all the Rules and Tricks could show,  
Both Arts of War, and Peace did know,  
To cheat a Friend or spoil a Foe.   

The Chair, the Chair, they cried (whereat  
He smiled at first, and then down sat  
This over-undertaking Rat.   

Then they began, since I alone  
Must speak, what e'er I touch upon,  
Shall be clear Demonstration;   

They made us Golden Gods, and then,  
Adored us at our Shrines, but when  
Saw ye one Rat that worshipped men?   

Did not our Troops devour all Thrace,  
Not only beasts, but human Race,  
And left them neither name, nor place;   

And did we not near Mentz devour,  
Their Prelate (Maugre all his power) 
A Castle yet standing upon the Rhine.   
Whence still 'tis called the RATTIN TOWER.   

And having slain one Bishop Prince,  
Princes and Bishops ever since,  
We into popular Classes Mince.   

Did we not since destroy and spoil  
In one short night, Bermudas Isle?  
And eat up all the Planters toil.   

In all Records our Honour Lives,  
But the vile Cat (who against us strives)  
From th' Koran his birth derives:   

The Lion, (if that Legend's true)  
Did sneeze, and from his Nostrils threw  
A Cat, which instantly cried Mew.   

Since Cats the Lion's Nature share,  
We for the Great as little care;  
Who Rampant Passant, Guardant are.   

How long shall they devour us thus?  

Stow's Annals of London.  Ye know one Whittingtonian Puss  
Slew Legions of the best of us;   

No mortal power could us annoy,  
If Unity we could Enjoy,  
We our Destroyer's should destroy,   

Then let's Unite, and break their pride,  
Make Cats against the Cats to side,  
(Those may Command, who can divide:)   

All weaker States that would surprise  
The stronger, prudently advise  
How to make Parties, and Allies.   

I now a People shall make known,  
Who under like oppression groan,  
Whose Interest and ours are one.   

I know you'll quickly smell a Rat,  
(Than this is it I would be at)  
Engage the Mouse against the Cat.   

Our Cause, when they to us resort,  
Three strong Militia's shall support,  
From City, Country, and from Court.   

Though Millions in a Battle die,  
Our Race with their Infinity  
Will us with fresh recruits supply.   

The Anti-Gresham Stagyrit 
Aristotle in his History of Animals.   
Says he Beheld with great delight  
This strange Superfoetatious sight.   

A Female of the Persian Rats  
Brought forth at once full sixscore Bats;  
Nay more, (now look about you Cats.)   


Parturiunt montes, Anglice, Rattamountain.  The young were big with young, before  
Their birth, with many hundreds more,  
And she her children's Children bore.   

George Pine, to us thou art an Ass,  
One year thy Hundred did surpass,  
Amongst thy four, show one such Lass:   

Thy Island in a hundred years,  
(As on thy own Account appears)  
But only twice six thousand bears.   

And now to make your Grandeur rise  
Form into Assemblies your supplies,  
To rescue your old Liberties:   

No Pettifoggers shall set Traps,  
By Nuisance stop our holes, and gaps,  
Nor Quacks, with Arsenic give us Claps,   

Nor no Owl-Constable by night,  
Shall seize the less, or greater fright,  
Though they have Bills, yet we can bite.   

Now let us close in joint consent,  
That with the Mice we are content  
To share the Spoil and Government:   

And when our Commonwealth prefers  
Their Members, we will be the Peers,  
And honest Mice the Commoners:   

And when this Order Rattified,  
They on our Honours may confide,  
The Deans and Chapters to divide.   

Pardon this boldness, nor seem nice,  
(For when we have to do with Mice,)  
Quibble and Wit bear equal price.   

To show I am a Rat of sense,  
All my Proposals I Commence,  
From Reason and Experience.   

I'll all in one advice give in:  
If from the English Cats you'll win  
Trophies, with Ireland first begin.   

Thus Rattamountain, Then they call,  
That the Word might be, Have at all,  
In Ulster they will stand and fall;   

Their Agitator than they name,  
Active Mac-Ratt, who (swift as Fame)  
On crooked errands went and came.   

Who strait from Ireland answer made,  
That he had their Commands obeyed,  
And all the trains of mischief laid.   

So Lulled asleep the Cattis were,  
His Arts had them secured from fear,  
But what did from themselves appear,   

Yet all that Rattamountain knew,  
Or diligent Mac-Ratt could show,  
Was vain, to that which did ensue.   

Soon as the Moon in Cancer rose, 
Midsummer Moon.   
Into the Tiberts' brains she throws  
Such rage, as all their plots outgoes.   

Three hundred Cats on ulsters shore  
Each with nine Lives (that's nine times more)  
Into the field their Colours bore.   

The Field, a Gutter which did run  
Blood, (which the name of Field may own,  
As jambah that of Islington.)   

Long time the fight so equal was,  
The greater half fell on the place,  
Nor Quarter given in the Chase;   

But their most hideous Catterwaule,  
With the Alarm it gave, did all  
Th' Vltonian Rats together call.   

Lest they should no Interment have,  
To the departed Cats, a grave  
The Rats in their own bowels gave.   


Where the Rats eat all the dead bodies of the Rebel's Army.  They at Bonratty, (so says fame)  
To Rebels bodies did the same,  
(This place and that may bear one name.)   

Now the Staggs Duel's out of door,  
The Cause was great, the Effect was poor,  

At Gresham-Colledg.  I saw two Savage Lice do more.   

Staggs are not so, t' whom Grass gives food,  
But Cats and Lice, who feast on blood,  
For savage beasts are understood.   

Two Staggs Militia's were but four,  
Nothing to what the Tiberts bore,  
For each having nine Lives, had more.   

Mac-Ratt is now returned, t'invite  
Those Rats, who scaped by London's Light,  
To march through Scotland in the night;   

And with the Highland Rats t' agree  
To pass Dunbartons narrow sea,  
To accomplish this Cattastrophe.   

The Isle of Rats when they those bogs  
Shall dispossess of Irish frogs,  
Will go beyond our Isle of Dogs.   

There shall we see the new raised Throne,  
Of Rattamountain in his own  
Metropolis, Highed Rattisbone.   

Some Irish Bard thy skill bequeath,  
To charm our English Poets breath,  
Like thee to Rhyme our Rats to death;   

Else we are sou'st in our old Pickle,  
For now or never we must stickle,  
When Playhouse turns to Conventicle.   
FINIS.