DAGON'S FALL, OR THE CHARM BROKE  
SO now things begin to come to some consistence, a man may without the help of Spectacles, see clearly who and who's together; Matters resolve by degrees into their own proper Principles: There was such a mad medley, such a monstrous confusion and jumble of things and names, hodgepodge together not long since, that 'twas impossible to know what was what. For a certain kind of odd Gargon Language was invented by a sort of Cunning Fellows (that studied the Black Art) half a dozen words whereof were of strange mystic signification, and would express as much in short as any thousand could in the Oriental Tongues. There was Liberty, Property, Protestant Religion, Popery, Arbitrary Power, Fears, Jealousies, Grievances, and some few words more, that answered all Questions that could possibly be propounded, resolved all doubts and difficulties, solved all Arguments and Objections in a trice: In a word, they proved any thing and signified every thing, and all things together; and yet at the very selfsame time (mirandum dictu) they meant just nothing. As for example to the Question, Whether it be not the duty and interest of the Subject, to supply the King for the Safety and Honour of the Nation? The Answer was, Grievances. Again, Whether the King and Council's Wisdom, and the Law of the Land, be not more valuable than Vox Populi? The Answer was, Fears and Jealousies. And so, Whether it be prudently done to run headlong into present mischiefs for fear of suture possibilities? The Answer is, Popery, Slavery. Whether 12 or more godly men may not unanimously agree upon the grand point of Perjury salva fide? The Answer is, the Protestant Religion. And a thousand such Questions as these are equally answered, without the trouble of affirmatives or negatives, by one or two of the former Crambo-words; as also all sorts of difficulties are sully resolved (and as unappeasably) as by 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. But that which is the miraculous mystical Excellency of these Hieroglyphic words, they do not only severally answer several Questions, but any one of them answers all questions, doubts and scruples whatever; so that the first you hit upon is as good as any one, or all of them together. As thus, suppose it be asked, Whether it be not as free and lawful for a King to borrow money, if he can, as for any one of his meanest Subjects? Now, though indeed the usual answer to this is Arbitrary Power, yet you may go handy dandy, and take any one of the rest that comes first, and all's one. But farther, the force of these words is so great, that not only all Questions and Proposals are by virtue of them extricated and resolved, but all the several actions and passions, humours, interests, intrigues and designs of the Artists themselves, that use them, though otherwise they may seem never so odd and unaccountable, yet by the help of one of these magic terms are acquitted and cleared immediately of all guilt and imputation; and the most unjust and unreasonable Proceed imaginable, being but lightly touched with one of these words, shall receive such a fair and favourable gloss and tincture, as to be metamorphosed into the quite contrary, to what it really is. And thus 'tis easily made out, That the late King cut off his own Head; That imprisoning, kill and plundering, was to maintain the Right and Freedom of the People: That to borrow vast Sums, and repay them with Public Faith ad Graecas Calendas, was strict Equity: That to rob and starve Widows and Orphans, was to do Justice and Judgement: That to commit Sacrilege, and demolish Churches, was for the Honour of God; and to ravage the whole Nation with Fire and Sword, was for the Safety, Peace and Settlement of the Kingdom. Nor do these words like those of other Languages grow old or obsolet; for they are as much now in fashion, as they were forty or fifty years agone; And even still by a certain charm that is in them, Quidlibet fit ex quolibet. Thus to give the King no Money, is the Honour and Safety of Himself and the Nation. And to let these Kingdoms lie in a naked and helpless Condition, without any other Strength or Defence, than that of the four Seas, is the best way to prevent French Monarchy and Encroachment: That to bind the Subjects in a stricter Tie of Allegiance, Duty and Affection to their Prince, is to persuade them that the King is not to be trusted: That to take away His Majesty's Guards at a time when there is a horrid Plot against His Life, is for the Preservation of His Majesty's Person; That to do every thing with studied Industry against His Majesty's Will and Pleasure, is an undeniable Testimony of Loyalty and Obedience: That like malicious merciless Jews, to clear and release Barrabas by Ignoramus, and by saving him to hazard and expose the Life of their King, is to do like a true Loyal Protestant godly Tender Conscienced Jury. Nor are Propositions, Actions and Things only transelementated by these Enchanting words, but the very Persons and. Properties of men, shall in very few day's space receive a monstrous Metamorphosis; insomuch that a Rogue and Villain upon Record, shall forthwith become an honest man, and credible to so great a degree, as to let great and good men's lives lie at the mercy of his naked Oath and Deposition: And on the contrary, men of confessed Truth and Honesty shall, by having one or two of the forementioned words cast into the Scale with him, sink the Balance to the lowest and vilest degrees of Subarnation, Perjury and Villainy. But what is still more prodigious of such powerful force, is the magic Virtue of these words, that appearing lately up and down the City and Country in Printed Characters; and many harmiess wellmeaning People poring too long and often upon them, they became (as some of Ulysses' men by Circe's Cups) all of a sudden strangely metamorphosed into Asses, Wolves, Tigers, Foxes, and such like Beasts; so that, had not the King by his own hand lately removed the Evil of the Charm, by certain Printed Characters called a Declaration; or Counter charm, they had in all likelihood continued so to this very moment.  
Nay farther yet the very seasons of the Year loie their respective natural qualities by the magical force of these words, and transmute into each other, for (by virtue of them) the Dog days happened last year to be in November and Decemb. and the season than was accordingly hot and fiery in most parts of the Nation; but more especially in the City of London and Westminster, the heats were intolerable, insomuch, that the King was forced about the latter end of December to send above five or six hundred Persons of note from their abode at Westminster, into the Country, lest such a warm concourse should have bred some pestilential infection: and all this violent heat (they say) was occasioned only by muttering according to art two or three of the forementioned words, such as Popery, Arbitrary Power and the like. But there is one extraordinary advantage which these words have, viz. That any one of them is of itself alone, not only a whole sentence, but a whole science also, so that an ordinary Tailor, or Tinker, though otherwise never so rude, ignorant, and unlearned, if he get but these words readily by rot, he becomes Master immediately of the chief liberal sciences, and hath Grammar, Logic and Rhetoric enough to dispute a point of Divinity, State or Law, with the greatest Professors and Practitioners in the Nation; Ay, and confute them too; urg ehim never so hard, with a strong Argument for Prelatical Government in the Church, you are answered and confounded presently by the strength of one almighty word Popery, 'tis but pronouncing it secundum artem, and your business is done So in State-affairs, and point of Government, argue never so convincingly in the defence of Monarchy, and the divine and natural right of Kings, your confutation consists but in two words only, viz. Arbitrary Power. After which, you must e'en desist with patience, and silence; for with these Persons, and in all disputes and contests of the like nature, any thing offered by way of rejoinder, is hist off the stage presently; or if you prove obstinate in your reasons, and arguments, 'tis ten to one if you do not dispute yourself into the Clutches of one of their Officers, and so find yourself at midnight in an enchanted Castle. In fine, this hath been the odd posture of our Affairs for some time past, and most strange freaks, and pranks have been played by the help of these few words, such monstrous confusion, and transfigurations have followed the force of these spells, that nothing hardly appeared in its true shape, or could be known distinctly; truth became falsehood, and that again was made truth, honest men turned mere Rogues, and Villains true men all of a sudden, Heresy, Schism, and Treason, was evangelical Truth and Obedience, and loyalty, and so Vice Versa. Now the Master Magicians and inventors of these spells, (though 'twas well enough known that they had made a contract with the Devil, and had neither Piety, Truth nor Loyalty at all in them, yet) they had so daubed and painted themselves all over with the glossy colours of Protestant Religion, here and there intermixed with Magical Characters of liberty, property and the like, that to such as were not very well acquainted with the imposure and Legerdemain of such kind of limning they were thought to be really what they appeared, and accordingly were admired, as Master pieces, and regular draughts of extraordinary nature; but to the more curious, and inquisitive, and to such as came a little nearer, and breathed upon them, all the fair Varnish which appeared at a distance so very charming, quite vanished, and instead of a true and regular picture (of Religion, or Loyalty) it all dwindled into mere rude rough Landscape: where the chief things that presented themselves to view were the old tuine of King's Court, and great men's houses, with devastations of Churches and Towns, and the old carcases of withered Trees (somewhat resembling that near Paddington) with a few portraits of Owls, Buzzards, Vultures, Wolves, Dogs, and such like In fine the chief Strength of these charms is broke, the magical words are become of little or no force, all the Brazen heads that of late muttered dreadful necromantic sounds are silenced, or else (like that of Friar Bacon) fellen down and broken to pieces, We hear no more frightful noises now from the enchanted Castle and Elephant, nor from the burning Headpiece near Temple-Bar. Besides, one of the chief Magicians hath been a long time enclosed in an enchanted Castle, and neither by his own art, nor that of his Brethren, can he yet break the strong spell that confines him; for 'tis said that one condition of the Enchantment is, that he shall not be enlarged till such time as five hundred flaming Circles appear in his defence. But yet since these Master-magicians have been quelled, some little peddling retailers, have gathered together scraps and pieces of broken charms, and are still tampering to uphold the Mystery and Trade: But every body now is so well acquainted with such tricks, and so armed with forcible Countercharms, that all the weak efforts of their Magical murmurs sound more like the faint echo of a dying voice, than strong powerful spells: And 'tis thought that ere long, when these weak remains, and faint efforts of this black-art are completely laid, the Magician's lives (like those in Romance) will be of a date not much longer than their Enchantments.   

Printed for John Smith in Great Queen-street, Bookseller, 1681.