A DIALOGUE Between a Yorkshire-Alderman and Salamanca-Doctor, at the Devil by Temple-Bar.  
About Swearing.  Doct. 
HOW now Swear apace, how does our noble Knight of the Post?  Ald. 
How now Lie apace, Vicar of Tyborn & Knight of the noble Order of the Halter, what do you at the Conference.  Doct. 
Well met noble Sir P. this is fortunate that we should be the first of the Company, now we may consult of an Expedient in our present Exigence.  Ald. 
If there be any mischief on foot, thou art one of the first that will have a hand in't. The first at the Conference, the first at the Devil, the first in the Plot, and the first in Discovery, the first in Villainy, and I am made the first Example.  Doct. 
Good Sir, Patience. The Protestant Joynor was preferred be●ore you, and the Protestant Cooper to avoid the same Destiny showed 〈◊〉 fair piair of heels, we must have Patience to follow. The way is open, ●here is no other means left for your deliverances, for if it comes once ●o the Pillory amongst all your beloved Brethren (for whose Interest you stood with the hazard of your Ears) you will hardly find any that will be so civil as to stand up for you.  Ald. 
Art thou the Saviour of the Nation, the Defender of our Lives and Liberties, hast thou saved our Necks from the Yoke of Tyranny and Slavery, our Throats from a Popish Dagger, our City from Fire, and our Kingdom from Invasions, and canst thou not save the Remnant of a poor Delinquents Ears? Oh Patience.  Doct. 
This is your Swearing, oh Patience.  Ald. 
Swear, if that were a crime where wouldst thou be exalted?  Doct. 
Indeed Swearing is but a Venial Sin, as the times go now, but your forswearing, and amongst the Brethren too. pá, pá.  Ald. 
Thou Buggering, Brazenfaced, Lanthorn-jawed, Tallowchaped Leviathan, hast thou sworn so many honest people out of their Lives, told so many damnable Lies and Contradictions, and h●st thou the Impudence to upbraid me with Swearing? I am beyond all Patience.  Doct. 
If I Swore and Lied to your knowledge I was paid for't, and if I was forsworn a thousand times over, I was never catched in it.  Ald. 
Yes in every particular thou Swor'st to. In the blindest Labyrinths and darkest wind of the Plot a blind Man may catch thee. Were not you catched at Doctor's Commons, before the King and Council and House of Lords, in every Examination and in every Paragraff of your Narrative, were you not catched in your black Bills and your Pilgrims, wast thou not catched in little Don John and the Circumcised Parson, and what was your Black Boy Apple-tree-Will, Barley Broth, Mum, Chacolat, Order of Magpies, Fire balls of Sheep's Fat, Tormentillios and Tewxbury Mustard Balls, but so many Snares to catch credulous Fools, wherein thou wast catched thyself at last?  Doct. 
If I was, I had the Wit or Impudence to stand it out. I was never catched by the Ears, for being catched in a silly Lie.  Ald. 
No, thou art Destined for another Catch; but I wish I had had no Ears when I first gave Ear to thy cursed Plots and Forgeries, I had not then stood in this danger of losing them.  Doct. 
It is but what your folly deserves, Was it not enough that you must stand up for the Cause, and the Brethren, but you must stand up for a Wooden Roof to your Copper Chain, the Pillory even to the hazard of standing upon it, being not only perjured for the Brethren, but even to their Eternal shame found guilty of that Perjury. Is this your Patience for the Cause?  Ald. 
If I am Perjured, 'tis upon the Evidence of others, but thou, as if it were not sufficient to be proved perjured by others, must needs prove perjury upon thyself, by thy own positive Testimony, for abetting many several undeniable perjuries, in the Case of the Jesuits, Wakeman, Marshal, Carter, etc. thou sworest point blank at White-Hall, thou saw'st Mr. Turner in a Consult at Wild-Honse, and at his Trial thou sworest it was at Fenwicks' Chamber; didst thou not swear as Colemans' Trial, thou never saw'st Mr. Langhorn after April 78. and yet at Langhorns Trial, thou sworest thou saw'st him Forty times in July following, that was a Rapper.  Decked. 
Did not you swear Pilk— on did not mean the Duke, when you clapped your hand upon his Mouth after he had expressed the words? where was our Patience then?  Ald. 
Didst thou not swear thou sawest him at Mass in St. Jamses, through fifteen or sixteen Stone Walls, and as many double Doors, in his own Closet? That was a Swinger.  Doct. 
Was it not you and your Accomplices that put me upon that Shame to bring him into the Plot? Made me your Hackney to swear and forswear, as the Devil and Money prompted me? Come, come, I have not Patience any longer; if you allow me not my Lifeguard and Ponsion as formerly, I can turn Cat in Pan as well as and Whig Poet, and be an Evidence against you, as well as for you.  Ald. 
Thou hast Shamed thy own Plots, and outswearing all possibility, art already become an Evidence against thyself.  Doct. 
Well, well, commend me to Elkanah, to take up in time, his Ears had hardly else atoned for his Popish Successor. I'll write a Narrative I hear of a great Citizen 〈◊〉 coming over on the same Account, if they have Patience to hear.  Ald. 
If the Wind be in that Corner, 'tis time for me to tack about for Holland, not a Minute longer for my Ears.  Doct. 
Yet while you have 'em, have Patience to hear me one Word, I have been lately with a Great Man in Drury-Lane.  Ald. 
I understand you, and how, and how goes on the new Plot, I know you are a Brewing.  Doct. 
I have not been there lately, I never pass by but Bowman the Dog has a snap at me by the way. Sometimes they upbraid me with the Duke's Health, than out of Derision they cry a Waller, a Waller, Pilkington and Patience, than they hang a Halter out of the Window, and bid me remember the Protestant Joiner.  Ald. 
That same is a Nest of notorious Torîes, well, if the Cause had gone on our side, I had made the Dog too hot for their burning of Shaftsbury, but we must Pray for Patience, and when I am gone, Pray still that the Lord may grant you Patience to go along with you in the great Work. Farewell.  
He was no sooner gone but the Company came in, when there began immediately a great contest about setting a new form of Government, the Army and Militia, which being different from that of the Doctor's former Model in St. Omers, had like to have raised the Devil amongst them: but Shad— ll came in with his Lute, and allayed the Evil Spirit.   

LONDON, Printed for John Smith. 1683,